All language subtitles for Girlfriends Guide to Divorce s03e02 Rule 137.eng

Previously on "Girlfriends'
Guide to Divorce"...

I think that we have
something really exciting here.

You fired Abby?

We went in a different direction, yes.

Your idea for the column
was inspired, Mitchell.

- You write it.
- I need you to leave,

and until you get some sober time

under your belt, please don't come back.

I think about you all the time.

Your power, your confidence,
and how I can destroy it all.

I thought in addition to
some spectacular shagging,

we might also speak.

If I wanted to talk I'd go home,

I have a daughter for that.

- What is that?
- My last alimony payment, ever.

- So you're leaving again?
- Because they offered me

that job, shoots in Vancouver.

When was the last time
you didn't have to work?

I don't know.

So let me take over, financially.

You're the greatest un-husband ever.

So what do you think you're
gonna do with yourself?

I have no idea.

_

[Upbeat music]

Ugh.

Whoa, what's with the mess?

I am giving the kitchen
a kick in the ass,

starting with the spices.

I am restocking,
alphabetizing, and jarring.

Here, smell this. Tell
me what you think it is.

Do I have to?

I pushed you out of my uterus, smell it.

Ugh, I don't know, stale weed?

What?

That is not... oh, that is stale weed.

How do you know what weed smells like?

No wonder your father liked to cook.

Charlie, you got to hustle
or we're gonna be late.

- Coming!
- I already miss dad.

I know, but he's gonna
be back for a visit soon

and this kick-ass job

that he has is giving
me all this extra time

for jarring, and full-time momming.

What do you say a
mother-daughter weekend

in Santa Barbara?

Mother-daughter movie night?

Uh...

Maybe, I have a lot going on
with school so that's school.

Yeah, no I get it. You
want to think about it,

okay, but mandatory
family dinner tonight

because I am cooking pasta from scratch.

Charlie!

Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball,

baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball!

- Wow, somebody's excited.
- This is my first practice.

- Yeah.
- 3:30 start time.

This is a for real
team, I can't be late.

I know, the Warriors.

Lilly, did you know that
Charlie is on a travel team?

So proud of you. I'm proud of me, too.

Good, okay what do you say that I, um,

put a pause on the kitchen feng shui

and we caravan it to school?

- Don't forget this.
- That is trash.

And we still owe a future chat

about how you know
what weed smells like.

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

Okay, but do you really need
a tree-trimmer and an arborist?

I'm not cutting Jose, I can't.

He's in night school to be a botanist.

And do not cross off the composter.

Glenda is having marital problems

and I will not be the one
that puts her over the edge.

Okay, so let's talk about
your home yoga instructor.

JD, I feel you on this. I really do.

But we do not need to
go full belt-tighten yet.

I have a lot of money saved.

That's gonna go surprisingly fast

when you have nothing coming in
and so, so, so much going out.

Well, I think there's gonna
be more coming in soon,

Mr. hot, new sexy artist.

Do you remember Marianne
from Damien Fields Gallery?

- I do.
- Okay,

I wasn't gonna say
anything till I was sure,

but one of my art world ravens
told me they had a drop out

for the group show tomorrow night.

- Yes?
- So, I just sent her a text,

just a casual check-in

and she wrote me back this morning

and said that Damien wants to sit down

with us in person today.

- Phoebe, that is amazing.
- I know,

but it's not a done deal yet

so we need to really charm him, yeah?

Okay, well try not to sweat too much.

Good. And hey, Marianne mentioned

possibly me consulting for them.

It couldn't hurt to
bring that up, right?

Oh, no.

They'd be lucky to have you.

See?

We don't need Ralph's alimony.

We are rising art world mega stars.

Okay, but just give me one thing here...

- No.
- Just for peace of mind.

[upbeat music]

Ahem.

All right, let's get started.

First up, Ronny Klein,

Silicone Beach tech billionaire

married to that actress
on that bullshit legal show

that we all pretend to
hate but secretly watch.

Soon to be formerly
married to her, though.

Now it hasn't gone public yet,

but he has hired us
to handle his divorce.

Now we need a real killer on this one

to knock it out of the park.

Which is why I am handing
this case... to Vanessa.

[applause]

Excuse me, Albert,

given the high profile
nature of this divorce

I wonder if it wouldn't be more
prudent to assign someone else?

An attorney with a little more
experience, no offense Vanessa.

- I'm sure you're lovely.
- Who'd you have in mind, Delia?

Enough with the games,
Albert. I'm a partner here.

I'm the senior divorce
attorney for this firm.

And Vanessa is a top notch lawyer

brought in to replace you actually

back when we thought you
were moving to New York.

She's caught up on firm business.

That's what this is about.

Oh, please, Albert.

I think we know what
this is really about.

Want to share more specifically

what you mean there, Delia?

No.

Good, McNease versus
State of California,

Larry, take us through it.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

What the hell, Frump?

- Just a little liquid courage.
- Seriously?

We're dropping you off at
rehab and you're bringing that

- Pendejo cabron, baboso.
- Sorry, man.

I call it the Betty Ford Salute.

Farewell, my dear old friend.

Okay, first this is not Betty Ford,

and second you said you were
gonna be serious about this.

What are you doing?

I am. Look, I'm here and
I am ready to get help.

- For Zooey, remember that.
- I will.

I will see you in 28 days, a new man.

Stop stalling, go.

- Right.
- Thank you.

Scott, just landed, meet
me in my place in an hour.

Have fun, Bun-Bun, play
well! Hit that ball hard!

Mom, don't call me Bun-Bun. Ugh.

Hi, you must be the coach,

I'm Abby McCarthy, I'm...
I'm Charlie's mom. Um...

Oh, seeds yum.

Um, I just wanted to introduce myself

and say thank you for
including Charlie on the team.

He is very excited.

I am not much of a baseball
gal, that's more Jake's thing.

Jake is my ex, but he had to
move to Vancouver last week

for a job directing,

so here I am full-time baseball mom.

I was a writer, uh, books.

But, um, I mean, I still am sort of.

I just wanted to take some time,

get some space, assess,

explore, you know, the
adventure that is life.

Okay, um, well then I will be off then.

Let me know if I need to know anything,

or if Charlie needs anything.

- Umm
- Better spikes, new bat, new glove.

Sorry, let me just get a pen.

It's all listed in the contract.

- You sign yet?
- Contract, I did not know...

- Download it off from the website,

bring it before the next game.

Sign. And move your car.

Okay, hustle.

Hustle up, let's get this
practice going, hustle!

Prick.

Love your work, JD,

in fact I think I have the perfect spot

for it in tomorrow night's show.

- Oh, that's fantastic.
- Wow, thanks for this.

What piece did you have in mind?

Oh, whatever best
represents who you are.

Oh, we'll discuss.

I mean there's still
some exciting pieces left.

Most of JD's collection sold
at the Skid Row show that we...

We? Come on, that was all you.

Phoebe's a real powerhouse.

She's got amazing
natural instincts for art.

It's just... it's kind of my passion.

Marianne had mentioned something
about a consultant position.

I don't know if the gallery is still...

- Still hiring?
- Yeah.

Always, Marianne mentioned
to me about your background.

Let's give it a shot,
Phoebe. Impress me.

[taps pen]

[whispering] Holy shit. Holy shit.

[both moaning, grunting]

[both moaning, grunting]

All right, that was...

- Pretty flipping amazing.
- Impressive stamina.

- Yeah.
- Your flexibility,

it's like having sex with Gumby.

Oh, shh, please no
children's toy reference.

Fine, but on a scale
of 1 to 10 you're a 9.5

- and I'm low-balling.
- [chuckles]

What, did I lose points on the dismount?

Fine, you're a ten. You earned it.

Thank you, I am touched.

Especially because I know

I'm being judged against
a huge pool of competitors.

- All right, ouch. Yeah.
- No, seriously.

If I could just count up how
many women you've screwed?

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven...

Write out...

Mmm.

Your breathing's normal, we
both know what that means.

- Yeah? Again?
- Yeah.

Straight away, right away, now?

Right away, old boy, right away.

I've got the "Karma Sutra,"

and I've got a whole arsenal of moves

that you haven't even seen yet.

[grunts]

All this for a nine-year-old's
baseball team? That is whack.

So whack.

Did you see the part where I
had to commit all my weekends?

Oh, yeah. If his team
wins you are screwed.

I had so many fun things
planned for the kids.

I was gonna take them to the
family ranch in a few weeks.

I thought you sold that place.

My parents are trying
to, we can't find a buyer.

Is this my life now?

I finally get a chance to breathe

and now I am shackled to the Gestapo

run by an asshole who spits
sunflower seeds at people.

And I have to buy all this gear.

Well, at least you're
not being Hester Prynne'ed

by your place of work.

Oh, my God, Delia, I'm so sorry.

I'm whining and you actually
have a real situation.

I mean, it's pure misogyny.

I'm the scarlet slut, but Albert
has a penis, so I'm tarnished.

- Carry on.
- For real?

You missing out on that
big client is not okay.

- You're one of the partners.
- Right.

You should've seen how fast
Vanessa jumped at that case.

You know, all of this would
make a fantastic column.

No, I don't think I'm
comfortable with that.

I'm a pro, I won't use names.

How's that going anyway, the column?

I got to say, I think
I'm kind of killing it.

My first column is about
the Goddess Ceremony,

and it was crazy hilarious
if I say so myself.

Can I read it?

Soon, I'm getting it
to Mitchell tomorrow.

What? Can I just have a sneak peek?

I could give you feedback,
I give great notes.

It's an offer, you know,
whatever it's... fresh eyes.

All right, thanks.

Fresh eyes, I'm sure that
thing could use a few tweaks.

Well, I'm a master tweaker.

I mean, seriously I tweaked
with the best of them.

Like, I'm a tweaker, okay.

- Oh, hey!
- So sorry I am late.

- How'd it go with Frumpkis?
- Good, good,

he's locked up getting
rehabilitated as we speak,

which I celebrated by
screwing Scott cross-eyed.

- All: Oh!
- Hey!

- So, Scott?
- That's how I roll.

- You two are doing well.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, it's great.

- Chin chin.
- Dating a self-diagnosed

sex addict requires some
creativity in the sack.

- Yeah.
- So yeah, it's going great.

I'm smelling another badass column.

I promise I won't use any names.

Oh, use my name. What
the hell do I care?

Unless it's an assignment for "Classic"

- he'll never even see it.
- Can I get a box?

Sure thing.

[upbeat music]

What do you think? How
do you like it, the pasta?

Mm, how'd you get the dough
to look like little bow-ties?

There's a story behind that,

how I got the dough
to look like little...

- Hey, look at me, I'm fancy.
- Okay, not a toy. That is food.

Mommy worked hard on that.

I found the most adorable
pasta dough stencils online.

It was linked to this cooking blog

that I am obsessed with.

It is so informative, so
awesome, so many great tips.

Fork please, Charlie. Come on.

I told you, that's not my name anymore.

We're not gonna call
you 2-8, freakazoid.

But that's what coach calls me.

He calls everyone by their numbers.

Right, okay but we're at
the family dinner table

and we use our real human names
here, so, eat your bow-ties.

- Where are you going?
- I have to practice my swing.

No, Charlie, please sit down.
This is family dinnertime.

I worked hard on this meal all day

and I would like you to eat it.

Coach said we had to practice our swing.

Mommies trump coaches.
That is the hierarchy.

He said we had to.

In front of a mirror so
we could see our form.

Charlie! 2-8!

And I have to be in bed and
asleep by 8:30, coach's rule.

So I guess this is our life now?

Family dinner every
night and then baseball?

No, I'm gonna go back to work.

I'm just waiting to see what's next.

- I thought you loved writing.
- I do love writing,

but I burned a few bridges

and maybe it's time
to find something new.

You know Charlie, this is a phase.

He goes through phases.

He'll be fine. You want some more pasta?

[glass shattering]

Oh, God.

Charlie?

- The bat slipped.
- [exhales deeply]

- [moaning]
- [grunting]

[both panting]

Uh...

JD, he has this group
show thingy tonight,

some hipster gallery near Culver City,

kind of a big deal, you know?

- Uh-huh. - If you're
interested, FYI.

- FYI?
- Mm-hmm.

Really?

Is that how one asks their
significant other out on a date?

Dude, it's Culver
City, it's not Bel Air.

- Mm.
- [chuckles]

- Fine. Ahem. Dear Scott...
- Mmhmm?

Of England, would you like to partake

in a cultural festivity
in the Culver City district

of Los Angeles with me,
Josephine of the Bronx,

your fairest, fairest maiden?

- I would be delighted.
- So pick me up here,

and we can squeeze in a little
pre-game slap and tickle.

- Or we could go for a drink.
- You mean, like, at a bar?

Yeah, it's a thing that couples do.

Wow, excuse me for wanting

to take you out and show off my woman.

Well, why show me off
when you can have me...

any way you want?

Yeah, because as much as I love this,

I also enjoy just being with you.

How about it, hmm?

Bit of romance, glass of chardonnay?

- Watch the sunset?
- Mmm.

Hey, babe, I need your wisdom.

Oh, my God, that's gorgeous.

Oh, it's nothing. I'm
just messing around.

- What's up?
- Okay...

Wisdom?

I found some artists
that I love, love, love,

and I want to show Damien

one in particular today
that will blow his mind.

- New artists already?
- Mm.

- You just got hired yesterday.
- I know, well

I've been exploring my spots

the last few weeks and
keeping an eye open.

You never know when someone exciting

will just pop up at you, like that one.

Gracin, he just... He
makes landscapes so...

There's just... But
there's so much movement...

- Yes.
- I don't even...

- You're moving anti...
- Yeah, go with Gracin.

Okay, you barely looked at it.

I love Gracin, he rocks. I'm sorry.

I just... I think that it's
a little bit unrealistic

to think that you can make

your next big discovery
in less than 24 hours.

I know, but I wasn't
hired to be realistic.

I was hired to follow my gut.

Which... Damien believes in,
but obviously you don't.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're right, I'm sorry.

I just... when you
talk about other artists

it just makes me a little bit jealous.

You have an amazing gut.

I love your gut. Go with Gracin.

Okay, thank you.

We might want to go
with something more...

press friendly, but we'll discuss.

Now let's run through your assets...

Sorry, so sorry I'm late.

Delia, hi, didn't realize
you'd be joining us.

Of course, Vanessa, wouldn't
miss it. Hi, Delia Banai,

one of the partners here
to show a united front.

Wow, two beautiful women.

Albert helping me with
the end of my marriage,

or making me fall in
love all over again.

Oh, you're a bad one, aren't you?

Sorry to interrupt, go ahead.

Anyway, your assets,
we need to prioritize.

A divorce this high profile
will turn into a knife fight,

and I want to make sure we get
what's most important to you.

Everything. Everything is a priority,

we don't give her lawyer an inch.

Yes, of course.

Ideally we will come out way
ahead, but it is a negotiation.

Sure, but you don't go into
battle with your hands up,

am I right?

What's your media strategy?

Start with a national interview.

Maybe "Today," Savannah Guthrie.

Why don't we take the
focus off you entirely, hmm?

Shine those bright lights on her?

Drag your wife through the mud.

Undercut her credibility?

That sounds like a game plan.
I've got plenty of dirt on her.

Also, you're planning on going
public with your latest app

- next month, right?
- Yeah, that's right.

- How did you know that?
- Oh, it's my job.

And I would hold off
on that if I were you.

You don't want to give
your wife and her lawyers

more red meat to bite into, hmm?

Yeah, jeez. And she is a biter.

We can use that.

[upbeat music]

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- I am so glad you liked it.
- I loved it.

It's so well written, it's so smart.

It was such a pleasure to read.

I have some thoughts.

- Well, hit me with them.
- Okay.

I'm sure it needs some adjustments.

I'm the queen of typos.

No, it's not adjustments really,

it's more global kind of thoughts.

- Global?
- You know, big picture stuff.

I mean, it's great but it's
not from your perspective.

Well, it is in that I wrote it.

Yeah, yeah, um,

it's just that I kind
of lose you in there

you know, where are you?

Well, I'm there at the Goddess Ceremony,

which is what the column's about.

Yes, I just... I want to know
how you feel about things.

What is your POV, what is
your personal experience,

you know what I'm saying?

- Yes.
- Great.

You think I should rewrite it.

No, not at all. No, just, like,

- take another pass at the...
- [phone ringing]

Sorry, I just have to
take this. Hold one second.

Jake, hi, how's Vancouver?

Hey, good. It's good.

Why are you spending all of our
money at Tech Sporting Goods?

- Excuse me?
- Yeah, no I got

a really scary email from
our joint credit card.

It's like you cleaned
out their inventory.

Wow, exaggeration, and I had no choice.

That new coach is a control freak...

Abby, Abby...

You have been chomping
at the bit haven't you?

You have just been waiting
to scold me about money.

Oh yeah, right, 'cause you
didn't give me a hard time

when I wasn't working, right?

And spending all the money you gave...

So now you're getting back at me?

And I am not out of work, by the way.

As I recall we made a
deliberate decision for me

to take this time to explore.

- Abby, Abby, Abby...
- I'm exploring!

Return some of the stuff,

tell Charlie to have a good game okay,

I got to go. I'm here.

Ugh.

Jake is so irritating sometimes.

I heard, as did everybody else.

I have been out of work for... no, nay,

I have been consciously
uncoupled from my career

for, like, a week.
This is the first time.

Yesterday was the first time
I used the joint credit card.

What's happening here?
Where are you going?

Well, you seem to have a lot going on,

and I need to get this
column into Mitchell, so.

Yes, but I still have more
thoughts that I wanted to...

Oh, I got it. You hate it.

And that's your opinion,
you're entitled to it.

I do not hate it. Don't make this...

This is how I write, okay?

I'm sorry it doesn't
meet your high standards.

Barbara?

Thomas... [speaking French]

- Hello, hello.
- Oh, look at you, my Bond girl.

Thank you. It all looks so genius.

Oh, well, it's getting there.
What can I do for you, Phoebe?

I know you're focused on
tonight but I found an artist

that you have to keep an eye on, Gracin.

He works out of this super
cool communal space in Glendale

with a bunch of up and comers, who knew?

Phoebe, I think that
you have misunderstood.

Plucking some new artist
from a Glendale loft

not why I asked you to come on.

Oh, then why did you?

You were married to a rock star, right?

And then a hotel magnate.

Ah, so you hired me for my connections?

And your charm.

No, you know how to talk
to people with money,

and that is a skill.

So, uh, tap that Rolodex,
get me some buyers.

Clear.

Where is the fun, the energy?

You've got a whole section in here

on the duality of the inner goddess.

I thought it was interesting context.

SheShe doesn't do context.

This read like a college thesis paper.

Okay, I'll take another pass.

But just to be clear, you
wanted my distinct voice.

This is my voice.

Yeah, your voice is kind of a drag. Mm.

Look, why don't we focus on pumping up

the lady power wish fulfillment?

Ooh, for example,

what are people wearing

at a Goddess Ceremony?

[upbeat music]

Two outs, play back.

Keep it off the backstop, 2-8.

1-4, even with the bag!

He is speaking so fast, and in code.

'Cause that's how it is.
The kids have to keep up.

Charlie just started, he
cannot remember all that stuff.

He went to school the
other day with one shoe.

- Strike!
- Oh, yeah!

Great catch, Charlie!

That is what a catcher does!

A catcher catches!

Hustle up, hustle up, let's go Warriors!

Sorry, I got so excited.

He caught the ball in his
ball glove... in his mitt.

In his glove. Oh, my God,
okay what just happened?

What is the score now?

- Still nothing, nothing.
- No, but the kid from

the other team just ran past
his... just ran past Charlie.

Let's go, let's go, we want
to be first on the board.

Right, but that was
the third out so no run

and now it's a new inning, so
our guys are back on the bat.

Right, wow.

Things move so fast,
there are so many rules.

Okay, what was the thing
you were explaining to me?

The drop and roll, or
block and drop or... ?

Yeah, maybe, uh, ease
up there, Disco Queen.

Oh, I have a thing later.

Uh-huh, yeah, so maybe just watch,

let Coach Brady do his
magic, cheer for your kid,

and move your car.

Move your car?

Is that, like, a baseball lingo thing?

Because the coach said that to me too.

- You talked to the coach?
- Yeah, yesterday,

and he was... he was wildly
inappropriate and rude.

You never talk to the coach.

All right, let's keep
this momentum going.

Let's get base runs.

He is taking on a mentoring
role with our kids.

We should be able to talk to him, right?

Wrong. Oh, look, hey,
your kid's up at bat.

We need base runners, 2-8.
It's time to be a hitter.

Move your car! Move your car!

- Let's go.
- Move your car!

Move your car!

Whoo! Yeah!

Oh, my God!

Yes!

Yes! Look at that.

All right, 2-8, don't
be the first out here.

Make it behind or through the ground.

Freeze on the liner.

Do what you do, 1-9.

Pick up this base runner, come on.

- Oh!
- Hold up.

Hold up, 2-8.

- Out! - 2-8,
what are you doing?

What just happened?

What just happened? Is he out?

You never make the first out at third,

especially in a scoreless game.

Hey, 1-5, get your gear on.
You're catcher next inning.

2-8 here needs a time out to think

about what just happened out there.

But he got a hit. He got a double hit.

Why is he being
punished for one mistake?

There is no crying in baseball.

Welcome to the team.

[soft guitar music]

- I don't know.
- See, isn't this civilized?

Out in public with civilized
clothes-wearing people?

Well, this is Venice.

I mean, we could pass some tattooed
hipster wearing a diaper any second.

- It's true.
- Oh, hey, sorry.

No, it's my fault. I wasn't looking.

- Oh, no.
- Such a disaster.

Completely our fault, there you are.

Oh, great, thank you. Hi, I'm Kendra.

Kendra, hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Have a wonderful evening.

Well, did she manage to
pass you her phone number

- during that handshake?
- What? No.

How could she? I mean
we literally just...

- She was very pretty.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no. I am not going there.

- Not going where, Monsieur?
- If I say yes, I'm a cad,

if I say no, I'm a liar.

- Ah.
- No winning that one.

Well, I didn't know
we had a competition.

You are incorrigible.

You know, the world is
full of women, all types.

But there is only one

infuriatingly sexy,
magnificent Josephine.

- So true, so true.
- Come on.

Come here, you horny bastard.

Yay. Big win for the Warriors.

Yeah, but I messed up.

I almost cost us the whole game.

That is not true,
Charlie, 28, two-eight?

You... you were amazing,
absolutely amazing.

Why don't you go to the car,
wait for me for a second, okay?

- Coach Brady?
- 2-8's mom.

It's a great game.

A win for the Warriors.

Excuse me, I am talking to you.

That was a great win
that my son cannot enjoy

because you made him feel so
terrible about that one mistake.

- Pretty big mistake.
- Well, you won anyway.

- And?
- And he is a nine-year-old boy

who just wants to impress you,

and play well, and play
hard, and you humiliated him.

He'll be fine. He's tough.

No, actually he is very sensitive

and that is not even the point.

The point is that he gets no validation

for the good things he does
and only shame for the mistakes.

Where is the lesson there?

That is not the way I raise my kid.

Well, on this field he's
not your kid. He's my player.

- Well, I am not okay with that.
- That's your choice.

You can explain to him why he's
no longer on this team, my team.

- Got it?
- Got it.

Good luck with the season.

[rock music]

You okay? Got everything you need?

All right, sweetheart, I
will see you in a little bit.

Hello, hi. See you in a bit.

Wow, look at that
piece. Who's that artist?

Maria Sergei, recently
immigrated from Russia.

Feels like someone who is
finally able to express herself.

Yes, I totally relate to that.

I am finally free of
that awful baseball world.

Did you just compare
living in Putin's Russia

- to a kid's baseball team?
- [laughing]

There are parallels.

Okay, that coach was really mean.

Anyway, Charlie and I can
finally return to our real life,

my people, to great art.

And Phoebe, this new
swanky gig of yours,

- wow, the gallery is just, like...
- This space.

Thank you. Thank you so much for coming,

it means so much to me.

It makes me look good
in front of my boss.

Speaking of,

I should go schmooze the
buyers, turn on that charm.

- What's that look for?
- Mm.

I was just checking the
queue length at the bar.

No you weren't. You were trying to look

at that icy blonde's
nipples through that dress.

- Abby!
- Hi, Barbara.

So, I might owe you an apology.

I have been an editor
for my entire adult life

and I should've had a thicker skin.

Mm, shoe on the other foot, huh?

Yeah, how'd, uh, Mitchell react?

Oh, in his typical Mitchell
fashion, but whatever.

The magic's in the rewrite.

At least that's what I tell my writers

when I crush their dreams.

How are you?

That call with Jake
still got you worked up?

Um, yeah, talk about shoe
on the other foot, right?

It sucks to have someone overseeing you.

Big brother, I do not like it.

- You're not built for it.
- No, but I am trying

to explore new things.

I'm just so not in my element.

But maybe that's what makes it right.

Maybe, but you're a good-ass
writer, and writers write.

That's what keeps the crazy at bay.

I don't know why you have
to stop exploring that.

- If you think I'm crazy...
- Hey.

- Hi.
- [phone chiming]

Is this that Silicon Valley douchebag?

No, he's not a douchebag actually.

He is very high maintenance,
but very charming.

- He's your client now?
- Yeah.

- Delia stole him.
- No, I wouldn't say stole.

I just simply presented subtly

what I have to offer, did my dance.

That sounds very, very defensive.

I am the injured party here.

I am the victim of workplace sexism.

Oh, thank you.

Her work is one of my favorites.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- How are you doing?
- Oh, I'm fine.

Charming the high rollers for my talent.

Oh, stop. Come on.

Once Damien gets to know you,
he'll see what you can do.

Maybe, how's the response
been to your piece?

Actually, I haven't seen it yet.

Neither have I. Come on, come with me.

[upbeat music]

Seriously?

What kind of art school reject, cutesy,

conceptual bullshit is this?

Hey, Jo, he's just talking to someone.

- Mm-hmm.
- You need to relax.

He is crazy about you, Jo,

he declared himself in a big way.

Doesn't matter. It won't
be enough. I know him.

The man, he can have
anyone he flipping wants.

He's gonna get bored.

Watch, it's just a matter of time.

[scoffs]

- Does it change to you?
- I hate it.

Hold this. Thanks.

- Stop her.
- Seriously?

- Stop her.
- She's got to live it out.

Got you, you lying little slut-bastard!

I am so sorry, sir.

What the bloody hell, Joe, what are you?

I am so sorry.

I'm... I'm... I'm sorry.

That... that blonde walked
off and you followed her.

What was I supposed to think?

Well, not that I'm screwing
her in the men's restroom.

Is that really what you think of me?

It's not what I think, it's what I know.

And I watched you in
action before, remember?

Oh, will you please
stop with this paranoia?

I love you. I want you.

But if... if you don't want this,

- if you can't handle it, then...
- I can't.

- I can't handle it.
- What?

We need to kill it. Us.

I can't stop waiting for
the other shoe to drop.

No, no, no, look, Jo,
you don't mean that.

I'm not sleeping, I worry
you're not satisfied.

I keep dreaming up
ways to keep you going.

And ever since I Googled
"Kama Sutra," these links

keep popping up on my Facebook page.

It is so humiliating.

Now stop, this isn't fair.
I haven't done anything yet.

Oh, yet, but you want to, you will.

- Jo, I am trying here.
- Trying?

Oh, my God, like it's work.

Jesus, you take everything
I say and you twist it.

I mean, how am I supposed to
convince you that I want you,

and I'm here for you and only you.

I'm sorry 'cause all
this stuff with Frump,

the second marriage,
the lies, the drinking.

I know, I know, I understand,
believe me I really do,

but at some point you're
gonna have to let that go.

Trust again.

Trust is not in my wheelhouse right now.

Fine.

This...

could have been amazing.

[soft music]

Ahem.

Damien, hi, so sorry.

Can I just steal you
for one minute, please?

Benny, Gloria, will you
excuse me for one second?

Sorry, thank you.

That was Gloria and Ben Nickdevole.

They're on the board at the Getty.

Why is JD's piece hanging
in your office, hidden away?

Yes, like a mistress
that you're ashamed of.

Phoebe, where do you
think I negotiate my sales?

- I have no idea.
- In my office.

Top buyers hungry for product

will see JD's painting on the wall,

they'll ask why it
isn't out with the rest,

and what do you think I'll tell them?

Because it's my personal favorite.

And what does that accomplish?

It makes them want it
more. This is what I do.

I build up new artists, I create demand.

And you, Phoebe,

I'm sorry to say you
live in a fantasy world

where you think you
can step into my gallery

and everyone will
just fall at your feet.

Well, this is real life. A business.

You want your husband's career
to take off, let me do my job.

And you want to have success here?

Shut up. Learn.

And bring me some buyers, yeah?

Understand?

Okay, you look great.

All right.

Where you going, kiddo? It's late.

I've got to practice my swing.

- Wait.
- Outside this time, I promise.

Hold, stop.

I don't think it's gonna
work out with the new team.

What? What do you mean?

I did not like the way the
coach talked to you today

- at the game.
- Why?

Because he was not nice.

That's just the way he talks.

Well, that doesn't make it okay.

Punishing you like that,
making you sit on the bench

and not letting you play
because you made a mistake?

But I can't leave the team.

Coach told me I'm a
real baseball player.

A real baseball player never quits,

and learns from his mistakes.

Okay, I'm gonna go practice now.

[soft music]

[folksy music]

- You got everything you need?
- I feel inspired already.

Okay, just to let you know,

you got to buy something for
every hour you're working here.

I'm kidding, those are the
rules for everyone else.

For good friends, free
pastries on the way,

you need your brain food.

- You're the best, thank you.
- Yeah.

Hey, is it awkward
back there with Scott?

Oh, the coward didn't show up so...

- Oh.
- Not awkward at all.

Well, I mean, you
can't really blame him.

You kind of "Minority
Reported" that fool, right?

- Is that a race thing or... ?
- No, it's a Tom Cruise movie.

Dystopian future world
where you get put in jail

before you commit the crime?

No, never seen it.

But Scott's ball sack is
a dystopian future world.

I don't know if you knew that. Is it?

But the crime would've
been committed eventually.

Yeah, well, the man is fine.

As are you.

And I feel like, you
know, you guys, you fit.

You match up.

I don't know if he was an addict

so much as he was just screwing around

until he found his person.

I'm guessing we'll never know now.

- Morning. What are you doing?
- Morning.

Getting my Hillary Clinton
on, making some hard choices.

- Wow, good-bye arborist.
- I know, I just called him.

It was actually super heartbreaking.

I'm sure.

This isn't about what Damien
said last night, right?

He's a dick hole. He wasn't wrong.

I have been kind of head in the
clouds lately about everything.

You know, I need to prove myself,

work my way up. In the meantime...

- The vegan chef, you sure?
- Yeah.

We can take cooking
lessons, UCLA extension,

super affordable, I promise.

Who's next?

Duct cleaner?

- I'll get back to you on that.
- [phone chiming]

Appreciate it.

Hey, Vanessa, hey do you have a sec?

- Uh-huh, what's up?
- Hey, I know things are

a little aggressive with
the Ronnie Klein case.

- Aggressive? Yeah.
- Yeah, there's some stuff

between me and Albert, and
you got in the middle of it.

And I am sorry.

But I like you.

I think you are a good, tough lawyer.

I was wondering if you would like

to be number two on the case.

- Your number two?
- I could use the help,

mentor you a little,
show you what I know.

So, what do you say? You want
to kill this thing together?

No thanks.

You think what you did
yesterday surprised me.

The other women at this firm,
they've told me all about you.

Sorry, I got no interest in
learning anything from you.

Okay, well I'm sorry you feel that way.

And have fun with Ronnie.

According to Albert, he
is a living nightmare.

[upbeat music]

[phone chimes]

I assume those are all
from your new client?

He tends to use his lawyers
like his personal concierge.

You played me.

You knew I'd go after him.

The Delia I know never backs down.

Good luck.

[phone chiming]

Scott!

Quit hiding and crying
into your vagina flaps.

Let's talk.

Scott?

[soft music]

[indistinct chatter]

Here you go, contract
signed as requested.

I asked you to bring it
to the game yesterday.

Oh, my God, seriously?

Nope, you're right.

I'm sorry, Coach.

We okay?

Yeah, 2-8's mom. We okay.

Okay, great.

[upbeat music]

Move your car.

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

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