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1
00:00:04,444 --> 00:00:06,679
Previously on "Girlfriends'
Guide to Divorce"...
2
00:00:07,053 --> 00:00:08,436
Something's really wrong. It hurts.
3
00:00:08,461 --> 00:00:10,045
You're gonna have to remain on bed rest
4
00:00:10,070 --> 00:00:11,600
for the rest of your pregnancy.
5
00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:13,467
I have a guesthouse, whatever you need.
6
00:00:13,492 --> 00:00:15,827
Frumpkis' new wife is
coming to the bakery today.
7
00:00:15,862 --> 00:00:18,561
It was Robert's money
that funded the bakery.
8
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,256
That makes it half ours.
9
00:00:20,417 --> 00:00:22,150
This is Joaquin.
10
00:00:22,175 --> 00:00:23,341
I'm an artist.
11
00:00:23,511 --> 00:00:24,577
Let me take you out.
12
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,959
I want a huge, crazy wedding.
13
00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:29,218
I'm not anybody's blushing bride!
14
00:00:29,342 --> 00:00:31,436
- You want to play, mouse?
- Uh-huh.
15
00:00:31,461 --> 00:00:34,061
Are you having fun, Albert?
16
00:00:34,086 --> 00:00:37,655
You're feisty. I like it.
17
00:00:37,841 --> 00:00:39,474
- You okay?
- I had a bad date.
18
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:41,666
My husband left me for my sister.
19
00:00:41,877 --> 00:00:43,670
You want to be the new face of divorce?
20
00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:45,628
This is what the real
face of divorce looks like.
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00:00:45,675 --> 00:00:47,742
Is this covered by my insurance?
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00:00:47,769 --> 00:00:49,169
Put down whatever it is you're eating,
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00:00:49,251 --> 00:00:51,018
take off whatever it is you're wearing,
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00:00:51,043 --> 00:00:52,409
and lay down on the bed.
25
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Tell me how that feels.
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00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:56,057
Mm.
27
00:00:56,525 --> 00:01:01,411
_
28
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,740
[Shoshana Bean's "Broken Even"]
29
00:01:02,775 --> 00:01:03,975
[Chuckles]
30
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,577
Has anyone ever asked you
to keep the lab coat on?
31
00:01:06,602 --> 00:01:08,813
[Chuckles] Usually I insist.
32
00:01:08,848 --> 00:01:10,647
[Laughs] I would not stop you.
33
00:01:10,672 --> 00:01:14,475
You are so studly in doctor mode,
34
00:01:14,754 --> 00:01:17,088
wielding that clipboard...
35
00:01:17,123 --> 00:01:18,506
You're into clipboard-wielding?
36
00:01:18,531 --> 00:01:21,665
On the right guy... No joke.
37
00:01:21,895 --> 00:01:23,734
How's your weekend
look? Am I gonna see you?
38
00:01:23,759 --> 00:01:24,898
Oh, I wish.
39
00:01:24,923 --> 00:01:27,475
I have to spend the weekend with Barbara.
40
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,531
The one who hates you.
41
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,835
I believe we are at
"grudgingly tolerates" now,
42
00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:33,804
but, yes, we will be representing SheShe
43
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,073
at Splitcon 2016...
44
00:01:36,109 --> 00:01:38,743
A convention for the
divorced and "split curious."
45
00:01:38,778 --> 00:01:39,810
Is that a thing?
46
00:01:39,846 --> 00:01:43,547
Yep, and now I am the keynote speaker,
47
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:45,349
and we have our own booth.
48
00:01:45,385 --> 00:01:47,257
That's almost clipboard sexy.
49
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[Chuckles]
50
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Yeah, every night
51
00:01:50,423 --> 00:01:52,546
when I'm on my way home...
52
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I missed you when I was in Ecuador.
53
00:01:54,661 --> 00:01:57,663
54
00:01:57,690 --> 00:01:59,093
Ah...
55
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:02,735
Maybe people bond faster under stress.
56
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:03,507
[Laughs]
57
00:02:03,532 --> 00:02:05,532
Is that rushing Becca to the hospital
58
00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:07,156
or meeting my parents?
59
00:02:07,542 --> 00:02:08,808
They're nosy, by the way.
60
00:02:08,843 --> 00:02:11,077
They want to know what we call each other.
61
00:02:11,112 --> 00:02:12,663
Harris and Abby?
62
00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:15,881
You know what I mean. I'm... I'm curious.
63
00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:17,249
Abby...
64
00:02:17,285 --> 00:02:19,051
There's no pressure, you know.
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00:02:19,087 --> 00:02:20,119
It's just been a while,
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00:02:20,154 --> 00:02:21,587
and things seem to be going great,
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00:02:21,622 --> 00:02:23,556
and I was just wondering.
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00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:27,059
69
00:02:27,095 --> 00:02:28,394
[Chuckles]
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00:02:28,429 --> 00:02:32,465
I just believe people should
really get to know each other
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00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,568
before you define who
you are in a relationship.
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00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:37,002
Yeah. [Clears throat]
73
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I hear... I hear you. I do.
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00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:41,240
You're phenomenal, you know that?
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00:02:41,275 --> 00:02:48,296
76
00:02:51,652 --> 00:02:55,185
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
77
00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:56,922
78
00:02:56,957 --> 00:02:59,295
And welcome to Splitcon.
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Well, this at least 51% as impressive
80
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,462
as a bridal expo.
81
00:03:03,498 --> 00:03:04,463
Yeah.
82
00:03:04,499 --> 00:03:05,698
From the pictures,
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00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:08,367
I thought it might be a
bunch of folding chairs
84
00:03:08,402 --> 00:03:10,736
at a Holiday Inn near LAX.
85
00:03:10,772 --> 00:03:12,071
Nice...
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"Unwelcome" doormats.
87
00:03:14,175 --> 00:03:17,843
Ooh, hi. Do I need divorce-themed towels?
88
00:03:17,879 --> 00:03:20,846
Or a "why aren't you divorced yet?"
89
00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:22,448
window cling for your car.
90
00:03:22,483 --> 00:03:24,583
What? I said that.
91
00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:26,752
Oh, well, it belongs to the world now...
92
00:03:26,788 --> 00:03:28,287
- [Cell phone chimes]
- Unless you trademarked it.
93
00:03:28,322 --> 00:03:29,741
Shit.
94
00:03:30,091 --> 00:03:32,925
I forgot to tell Walt where the B6 was.
95
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,260
Who's Walt?
96
00:03:34,295 --> 00:03:36,228
My brother and his husband's "Manny."
97
00:03:36,264 --> 00:03:37,504
He's helping out while Becca...
98
00:03:37,532 --> 00:03:39,598
She just moved into the guesthouse.
99
00:03:39,634 --> 00:03:41,200
Your ex's ex?
100
00:03:41,235 --> 00:03:42,835
Yeah, she's on bed rest.
101
00:03:42,870 --> 00:03:44,036
She can't keep anything down,
102
00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:46,338
and her boyfriend's off shooting a movie,
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and with Jake gone and all this,
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it's too much.
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00:03:52,079 --> 00:03:54,404
I don't know how people
do it without a "Manny."
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00:03:56,317 --> 00:03:59,052
"Deadbeat Dad Hunter."
107
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:00,974
[Chuckles]
108
00:04:00,999 --> 00:04:04,523
Abby McCarthy... Our star attraction.
109
00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:07,326
So excited to meet you.
110
00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:08,828
Andrew Barker... We spoke on the phone.
111
00:04:08,863 --> 00:04:10,429
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
112
00:04:10,464 --> 00:04:11,564
This is Barbara.
113
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:14,521
Sawyer from SheShe! Love it.
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Ah, everyone is so thrilled
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00:04:17,939 --> 00:04:19,638
about your keynote tomorrow afternoon.
116
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Me too.
117
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:24,043
Well, the SheShe booth is right over here.
118
00:04:24,078 --> 00:04:25,211
Look at that. Yeah.
119
00:04:25,246 --> 00:04:26,745
I'll stop by tomorrow, Abby,
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to grab you before your speech.
121
00:04:28,216 --> 00:04:30,082
It is so weird to meet me.
122
00:04:30,117 --> 00:04:32,051
[Laughing]
123
00:04:32,086 --> 00:04:33,853
Seriously, you're too much.
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[Laughs]
125
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Isn't she? Too, too much.
126
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Okay, tomorrow it is.
127
00:04:39,741 --> 00:04:41,975
Okay.
128
00:04:42,687 --> 00:04:43,820
Okay.
129
00:04:44,098 --> 00:04:48,500
130
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,470
[Both breathing heavily]
131
00:04:51,505 --> 00:04:54,435
I thought you said no
more in-office coupling.
132
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,359
I know. I'm an enigma.
133
00:04:56,544 --> 00:04:58,344
-Aren't you just?
- [Sighs]
134
00:04:58,379 --> 00:05:00,512
Anyway, I've been here every
weekend for the past month.
135
00:05:00,548 --> 00:05:02,232
So, if we couldn't fool around at work...
136
00:05:02,257 --> 00:05:03,523
Ah, ah, unacceptable.
137
00:05:03,751 --> 00:05:05,443
Don't even say it.
138
00:05:06,554 --> 00:05:10,349
- Oh, which reminds me...
- Mm-hmm?
139
00:05:10,374 --> 00:05:12,607
Sherry demanded a family trip to the lake.
140
00:05:12,632 --> 00:05:15,021
I have to leave after work.
I'll be back on Sunday.
141
00:05:15,827 --> 00:05:16,974
Oh.
142
00:05:17,565 --> 00:05:21,367
Well, I can put off going
until tomorrow afternoon,
143
00:05:21,402 --> 00:05:22,630
if you're open in the morning.
144
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,447
Ugh. No, we'll just have to go without.
145
00:05:24,472 --> 00:05:25,888
Come on.
146
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,099
Now, what's so important?
147
00:05:28,542 --> 00:05:30,509
You can make up an excuse if I can.
148
00:05:30,544 --> 00:05:33,112
Gordon's mother is in town,
149
00:05:33,147 --> 00:05:35,881
and tomorrow Phoebe's doing
this thing at her house
150
00:05:35,917 --> 00:05:39,248
where we pick pre-reception cocktails.
151
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,387
I don't know. The rituals just never end.
152
00:05:41,422 --> 00:05:43,322
Stop. Okay, so...
153
00:05:43,357 --> 00:05:44,857
Why don't you let your friends pick?
154
00:05:44,892 --> 00:05:46,158
What do you care?
155
00:05:46,193 --> 00:05:48,076
You're gonna be backstage
getting trussed or whatever.
156
00:05:48,101 --> 00:05:52,064
No, I cannot cancel on
my almost mother-in-law.
157
00:05:52,099 --> 00:05:53,165
Okay, fine.
158
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,100
Then I'm just gonna have to make up
159
00:05:55,136 --> 00:05:56,896
for what I'm gonna be missing.
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00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:58,165
[Gasps]
161
00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,545
Now...
162
00:06:01,943 --> 00:06:03,108
Oh, okay.
163
00:06:03,443 --> 00:06:05,349
- Josephine?
- Yeah?
164
00:06:05,913 --> 00:06:07,713
Can you just suddenly grow a mole?
165
00:06:07,748 --> 00:06:10,582
Can they just, like, sprout
up suddenly overnight?
166
00:06:10,735 --> 00:06:12,818
Do you ever keep your pants on?
167
00:06:13,154 --> 00:06:14,427
I find them confining.
168
00:06:15,456 --> 00:06:16,880
I need another pair of eyes on this.
169
00:06:16,905 --> 00:06:18,115
I think I might be dying.
170
00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:20,893
Yo, Jo, you back there?
171
00:06:20,928 --> 00:06:23,028
Hey, kitchen's for employees only!
172
00:06:23,064 --> 00:06:24,496
- Sorry.
- He was looking at a mole.
173
00:06:24,532 --> 00:06:26,302
Can I, uh, have a minute?
174
00:06:26,684 --> 00:06:28,016
Sorry.
175
00:06:28,365 --> 00:06:29,868
- [Gasps]
- Hey, there, y'all.
176
00:06:29,904 --> 00:06:31,337
Oh.
177
00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:32,471
Is that a knockoff?
178
00:06:32,506 --> 00:06:34,073
Oh... [Giggles]
179
00:06:34,108 --> 00:06:35,787
Doesn't it look good in pink?
180
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,287
Uh, anyway, so, uh, here's the deal.
181
00:06:38,312 --> 00:06:41,714
Uh, Charlene really wants...
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00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:44,316
Badly wants to pitch in around here.
183
00:06:44,352 --> 00:06:46,385
So she asked me if I could make her
184
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:49,121
a, managing member of the LLC.
185
00:06:49,156 --> 00:06:50,412
- What?
- You're not serious.
186
00:06:50,437 --> 00:06:52,224
Well, I just have all these great ideas
187
00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:53,759
I'm itching to share with you.
188
00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:56,729
And since I'm half owner and
I can't be here all the time,
189
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:59,465
- it makes sense, huh?
- [Giggles]
190
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,724
Oh, look at that.
191
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,380
Can I have a word?
192
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:07,906
I've had a really rough couple of days.
193
00:07:07,942 --> 00:07:10,075
Can you not do this to
me right now, please?
194
00:07:10,111 --> 00:07:11,877
I'm not doing anything to you.
195
00:07:11,912 --> 00:07:14,179
Look, it's only a thing until we figure out
196
00:07:14,215 --> 00:07:15,215
the communal property.
197
00:07:15,249 --> 00:07:16,348
That's not the point.
198
00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:18,884
This is what happens
when people get divorced.
199
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:22,082
And if you start rocking this boat,
200
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:24,334
it's gonna be Zooey who's
caught in the middle.
201
00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:28,027
[Rock music]
202
00:07:28,062 --> 00:07:30,896
203
00:07:31,087 --> 00:07:32,638
You want to work here?
204
00:07:33,209 --> 00:07:34,333
Yeah.
205
00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:36,135
You want a job? You're hired.
206
00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,202
You start tomorrow.
207
00:07:37,238 --> 00:07:38,804
[Gasps] Thank you.
208
00:07:38,839 --> 00:07:40,039
Yeah.
209
00:07:40,074 --> 00:07:46,545
210
00:07:46,580 --> 00:07:49,248
You need to be confident in every line.
211
00:07:49,283 --> 00:07:51,617
Well, I might be if I didn't suck so bad.
212
00:07:51,652 --> 00:07:53,719
You don't become an artist overnight.
213
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,288
Maybe I don't become an artist ever.
214
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:57,689
Fair enough.
215
00:07:57,725 --> 00:08:00,316
I just want you to get a
feel for the blank canvas,
216
00:08:00,327 --> 00:08:02,728
for, making something from nothing.
217
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,130
Too many people in this
business have no concept
218
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:07,232
of what goes into making art.
219
00:08:07,268 --> 00:08:08,867
Well, thank you,
220
00:08:08,903 --> 00:08:11,336
I mean, for showing me
your studio and stuff,
221
00:08:11,372 --> 00:08:12,671
for the drawing lesson.
222
00:08:12,706 --> 00:08:15,007
I truly see potential for you,
in the art world.
223
00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:16,208
Can I redirect your attention
224
00:08:16,243 --> 00:08:18,110
to this puddle of sadness I just created?
225
00:08:18,145 --> 00:08:20,746
[Laughs] You could work in a gallery.
226
00:08:20,781 --> 00:08:21,880
You could consult.
227
00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:22,948
And, of course, given your background,
228
00:08:22,983 --> 00:08:24,950
fine-art modeling is always an option.
229
00:08:24,985 --> 00:08:26,652
- Uh...
- No, really.
230
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,454
I have an opening at my gallery in a month.
231
00:08:28,489 --> 00:08:30,646
I could use some fresh faces.
232
00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:33,058
Yeah, thanks. I'm... I'm so retired.
233
00:08:33,404 --> 00:08:35,627
Art and fashion have very different goals.
234
00:08:35,663 --> 00:08:36,728
[Cell phone chimes]
235
00:08:36,764 --> 00:08:39,031
I've got a lunch, but please consider.
236
00:08:39,066 --> 00:08:41,066
If you say yes, you'll come to the opening,
237
00:08:41,102 --> 00:08:43,368
and you'll witness an entire
life span of a work of art,
238
00:08:43,404 --> 00:08:45,779
from posing for it to its public debut.
239
00:08:46,349 --> 00:08:47,638
Think about it.
240
00:08:49,443 --> 00:08:51,232
I don't want to tweet about Harris.
241
00:08:51,257 --> 00:08:52,521
It is part of your job.
242
00:08:52,546 --> 00:08:54,209
It is my private life.
243
00:08:55,549 --> 00:08:57,388
Deadbeat Dad Hunter.
244
00:08:57,918 --> 00:08:59,118
You're surprised?
245
00:08:59,153 --> 00:09:00,719
Is that why you're
picking a fight with me...
246
00:09:00,754 --> 00:09:03,188
Because your ex is... is AWOL
247
00:09:03,224 --> 00:09:05,891
and you don't have anybody to argue with?
248
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,092
No.
249
00:09:07,128 --> 00:09:09,194
Doug just wants to take me to dinner.
250
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:10,638
Well, great.
251
00:09:11,165 --> 00:09:13,365
How would you feel if you
had to live-tweet that?
252
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,168
I'd be grateful that live-tweeting dinner,
253
00:09:16,203 --> 00:09:18,670
passes for a problem in my life.
254
00:09:18,706 --> 00:09:21,440
You have no idea what passes
for a problem in my life.
255
00:09:21,475 --> 00:09:23,909
Oh, my God. Abby McCarthy.
256
00:09:23,944 --> 00:09:27,212
- [Giggles]
- Hello. Nice to meet you.
257
00:09:27,248 --> 00:09:28,912
You are the queen.
258
00:09:28,937 --> 00:09:30,849
All my girlfriends and I read SheShe now.
259
00:09:30,885 --> 00:09:32,417
Oh, thank you so much.
260
00:09:32,453 --> 00:09:33,485
What are these?
261
00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:36,722
Uh, these are divorce first-aid kits...
262
00:09:36,757 --> 00:09:39,158
Everything you need to
survive that first year,
263
00:09:39,193 --> 00:09:40,875
plus a little whiskey.
264
00:09:41,362 --> 00:09:42,427
Shh.
265
00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:44,363
I'm so Instagramming this.
266
00:09:44,398 --> 00:09:45,464
[Both laugh]
267
00:09:45,499 --> 00:09:46,617
Come to my speech.
268
00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:49,601
- [Chuckles] Enjoy.
- Thanks.
269
00:09:49,637 --> 00:09:53,851
[Man speaking indistinctly over PA]
270
00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:54,835
Thanks.
271
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:57,294
You forgot to say: "Like us on Facebook."
272
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:09,648
273
00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:12,632
I'm gonna grab some
lunch. You want anything?
274
00:10:13,406 --> 00:10:15,218
No, thanks. I have to get through this.
275
00:10:15,393 --> 00:10:16,659
You have problems.
276
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:17,883
Oh, my God.
277
00:10:17,914 --> 00:10:19,213
You are relentless.
278
00:10:19,248 --> 00:10:20,867
No, I mean...
279
00:10:21,238 --> 00:10:25,541
You have problems like I
do... Real-life problems.
280
00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:28,306
- Thank you?
- Well, not exactly like I do.
281
00:10:28,341 --> 00:10:29,670
You've got your "Manny."
282
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:30,775
I've got my cousin Gloria
283
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:33,711
who has type-2 diabetes who
eats all the kids fish sticks.
284
00:10:33,746 --> 00:10:35,146
Okay, I get it. We're different.
285
00:10:35,181 --> 00:10:37,515
But we're both under a lot of pressure.
286
00:10:37,550 --> 00:10:41,619
And I get that being the face
comes with extra scrutiny.
287
00:10:44,296 --> 00:10:45,623
Thank you.
288
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,578
It can be tough occasionally.
289
00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:49,398
Come on.
290
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:52,515
You've got a couple of hours until keynote.
291
00:10:52,674 --> 00:10:53,808
Let's take a walk.
292
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:56,133
I-I really... [Chuckles]
293
00:10:56,169 --> 00:10:58,769
Well, I'm going. Your loss.
294
00:10:59,023 --> 00:11:01,706
But there is someone
selling healing crystals
295
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:03,474
that ward off "divorce neck."
296
00:11:03,718 --> 00:11:04,709
Oh.
297
00:11:04,744 --> 00:11:07,396
Well, for research purposes,
298
00:11:07,421 --> 00:11:09,347
I should probably see that.
299
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,155
Mm.
300
00:11:12,226 --> 00:11:14,085
- We see eye to eye.
- [Chuckles]
301
00:11:15,788 --> 00:11:19,223
[Uplifting music]
302
00:11:19,164 --> 00:11:21,506
I'm glad you agreed to sit with me, Phoebe.
303
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,181
We'll be working until
the night before the show.
304
00:11:24,216 --> 00:11:26,183
This is one of the new ones,
just to give you an idea.
305
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:27,779
They're, uh...
306
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,820
So bleak. [Chuckles]
307
00:11:29,909 --> 00:11:31,232
Aren't they?
308
00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:33,690
I wanted to find pathos
in overexposed symbols.
309
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:34,662
Hmm.
310
00:11:34,687 --> 00:11:36,737
We're all familiar with
the "sad clown" trope,
311
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,896
but, how close have we really looked?
312
00:11:41,658 --> 00:11:43,258
Mm.
313
00:11:43,435 --> 00:11:45,268
- So shall we get started?
- Yeah, let's.
314
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:46,703
Oh, I have a hard out at noon.
315
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,505
My girlfriend's getting
married, and I'm hosting this...
316
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,807
Phoebe, for the chance
to combine your beauty
317
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:53,210
with my voice, we'll take
any time you can give.
318
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:54,444
Okay.
319
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,446
Grab her some props so
she can find the character.
320
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,781
You'll be sitting here.
321
00:11:57,816 --> 00:11:59,416
[Cell phone chimes, vibrates]
322
00:11:59,451 --> 00:12:02,219
I want you to think of something
323
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,720
that breaks your heart.
324
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,555
I've got to jump on this call,
325
00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:07,657
but they'll guide you
through the next part.
326
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,029
Look alive. We have a real model today.
327
00:12:12,664 --> 00:12:14,364
[Exhales deeply]
328
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,647
[Easel scraping]
329
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:21,905
Okay... Hey, what are you...
330
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,306
What are you doing?
331
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:27,244
There's actually only
a few angles in the room
332
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,813
from which you can produce art.
333
00:12:29,848 --> 00:12:31,715
Oh, well, do you need me to move?
334
00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:32,897
- I can...
- No, no.
335
00:12:32,922 --> 00:12:35,723
Um, you look nice.
336
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:42,350
Um, I think Joaquin said
I'm supposed to, um...
337
00:12:42,985 --> 00:12:45,485
I don't even know who you are. [Chuckles]
338
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:46,897
JD.
339
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,166
JD. I am Phoebe.
340
00:12:50,435 --> 00:12:53,637
Joaquin said I'm supposed to have a prop.
341
00:13:15,479 --> 00:13:18,413
Um, why?
342
00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:20,281
Because he's the artist?
343
00:13:20,317 --> 00:13:21,850
Oh...
344
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,384
But I do the drawing part.
345
00:13:27,257 --> 00:13:30,486
Could you raise your arm
when you have a moment?
346
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,494
[Pencil scratching]
347
00:13:32,529 --> 00:13:35,663
[Camera shutter clicks]
348
00:13:35,699 --> 00:13:38,805
Abby! Oh, my God.
349
00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:41,202
You are literally my divorce Yoda.
350
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,504
Oh.
351
00:13:42,539 --> 00:13:44,072
Why, thank you.
352
00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:45,673
May divorce be with you.
353
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:47,675
[Laughing]
354
00:13:47,711 --> 00:13:49,310
I was married for two years.
355
00:13:49,346 --> 00:13:50,779
It was like, "ugh."
356
00:13:50,814 --> 00:13:54,349
And then I was all, "why
aren't I divorced yet?"
357
00:13:54,384 --> 00:13:55,950
Oh, well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.
358
00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:57,719
I mean, I guess so.
359
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,955
But you made being single look so good...
360
00:14:00,991 --> 00:14:02,490
Like with Dr. Harris.
361
00:14:02,526 --> 00:14:04,592
Thank you, but, I mean, it's just sad.
362
00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:08,150
When you've done all the therapy
and the hard work, it's sad.
363
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:09,760
Kind of?
364
00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:13,201
What was the... What was the problem?
365
00:14:13,236 --> 00:14:15,041
I just didn't think it would be so hard.
366
00:14:15,066 --> 00:14:17,205
I mean, who needs it, right?
367
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:18,840
Let me get my pen.
368
00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:20,627
No, not right.
369
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,477
Where is it?
370
00:14:22,512 --> 00:14:23,945
Marriage is work.
371
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,013
Oh, here it is.
372
00:14:25,048 --> 00:14:26,581
I brought these for you to sign.
373
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,819
[Man speaking indistinctly over PA]
374
00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:32,887
Are these your divorce papers?
375
00:14:32,923 --> 00:14:35,838
Oh, oh, don't worry. It's a photocopy.
376
00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:41,439
It's...
377
00:14:41,598 --> 00:14:43,041
exquisite.
378
00:14:43,846 --> 00:14:46,775
So, if you do the drawing,
379
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,304
then what does Joaquin do?
380
00:14:49,339 --> 00:14:53,708
Oh, he'll take this and
do the rest in Photoshop...
381
00:14:53,899 --> 00:14:57,072
Uh, edit, add filters, move things around.
382
00:14:58,381 --> 00:14:59,908
Is that normal?
383
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:04,519
Joaquin... he's an artist in the tradition
384
00:15:04,554 --> 00:15:06,221
of Warhol and Kostabi.
385
00:15:06,256 --> 00:15:08,022
He has a singular vision,
386
00:15:08,058 --> 00:15:11,926
and part of that is outsourcing execution.
387
00:15:11,962 --> 00:15:14,128
Someone who can actually draw.
388
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:15,763
[Both chuckle]
389
00:15:15,799 --> 00:15:17,298
In this case, yes.
390
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,967
He'll see something when I'm finished.
391
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,468
I'm not a machine. Later.
392
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,070
Hello, gorgeous.
393
00:15:22,105 --> 00:15:23,338
How was the sitting?
394
00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:25,440
This guy is amazing.
395
00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:26,608
Mm.
396
00:15:26,643 --> 00:15:28,209
Good start. Thank you.
397
00:15:28,245 --> 00:15:30,812
JD... yeah, he started
out as a brush cleaner.
398
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,313
Now he's first assistant.
399
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,681
Did you want to grab lunch?
400
00:15:33,717 --> 00:15:34,983
- Um...
- [Cell phone chimes, buzzes]
401
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,785
Oh, God, I'm actually late
to my own drinks thing.
402
00:15:37,821 --> 00:15:39,287
Actually, we're having a little thing here
403
00:15:39,322 --> 00:15:40,388
tomorrow afternoon.
404
00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:42,197
- Stop by if you're free.
- What is it?
405
00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:43,958
It's a private preview
of the gallery show...
406
00:15:43,994 --> 00:15:45,827
Something we do for
friends and loyal buyers.
407
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,396
Basically, we ply rich collectors
408
00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:50,365
with champagne and flattery.
409
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,133
It might be worth your time
410
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,836
if you ever want to become
a dealer or a "gallerina."
411
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,272
[Chuckles] Sounds good. I'm in.
412
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,533
I'm that girl's guru,
413
00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:02,720
and that's what she got out of it.
414
00:16:02,952 --> 00:16:06,653
"Marriage is hard! Who needs it?"
415
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:08,722
She's one overzealous millennial.
416
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:11,391
No! I have been too glib.
417
00:16:11,427 --> 00:16:13,460
I need, to write
418
00:16:13,496 --> 00:16:15,911
about how many years Jake and I tried.
419
00:16:16,565 --> 00:16:17,965
It's like, I can't...
420
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,811
I have to rewrite this whole speech.
421
00:16:20,836 --> 00:16:22,202
I can't say any of it.
422
00:16:22,238 --> 00:16:24,200
Do not rewrite the whole speech.
423
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:25,773
You don't have time.
424
00:16:25,808 --> 00:16:27,341
Do you know that I was
planning on opening with,
425
00:16:27,376 --> 00:16:29,169
"So are we divorced yet"?
426
00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:31,245
That's awful!
427
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,646
No, it's smart.
428
00:16:32,841 --> 00:16:35,616
It's your window cling. It's sticky.
429
00:16:35,651 --> 00:16:36,850
I don't want to be sticky,
430
00:16:36,886 --> 00:16:39,536
not if it's ruining
other people's marriages.
431
00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:42,856
Stay on message, Abby.
432
00:16:42,892 --> 00:16:44,358
Abby.
433
00:16:49,654 --> 00:16:54,293
434
00:16:54,318 --> 00:16:55,650
[Women laughing]
435
00:16:55,686 --> 00:16:59,120
Guys, I am so sorry I am late.
436
00:16:59,156 --> 00:17:02,190
Phoebe.
437
00:17:02,225 --> 00:17:04,726
You remember Phoebe from
the engagement party.
438
00:17:04,761 --> 00:17:05,761
- Hi.
- Yes, of course.
439
00:17:05,796 --> 00:17:07,106
- Thank for hosting this.
- Of course. It's lovely.
440
00:17:07,131 --> 00:17:10,442
Phoebe has got us one of the
best mixologists in the city.
441
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:12,033
My ex was in the hotel business,
442
00:17:12,069 --> 00:17:13,969
so I know all the best bartenders.
443
00:17:14,004 --> 00:17:17,172
- Aren't we lucky?
- Mmm.
444
00:17:17,207 --> 00:17:20,176
Ooh! This will ruin me.
445
00:17:20,201 --> 00:17:21,076
Take this away.
446
00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:23,701
- Jesus Christ.
- What the hell is in there...
447
00:17:23,737 --> 00:17:24,677
Quaalude?
448
00:17:24,702 --> 00:17:28,073
It's a lardo-infused
bourbon and smoked Rosemary.
449
00:17:28,108 --> 00:17:29,475
- Oh.
- Why didn't I think of that?
450
00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:30,880
Drink's been missing the lard.
451
00:17:30,905 --> 00:17:32,811
All right, cheers.
452
00:17:32,847 --> 00:17:34,313
To Delia.
453
00:17:34,348 --> 00:17:36,255
To Delia for doing it right.
454
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,083
- Right?
- [Glasses clinking]
455
00:17:38,118 --> 00:17:39,885
Oh, no, I'm serious.
456
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,787
You and Gordon are meant for each other.
457
00:17:41,822 --> 00:17:43,388
Even Mom here is fabulous.
458
00:17:43,424 --> 00:17:44,890
- To Mom.
- You know what?
459
00:17:44,925 --> 00:17:48,060
Frumpkis' Mom could barely
enunciate through the Valium.
460
00:17:48,813 --> 00:17:50,246
And that is what happens
461
00:17:50,271 --> 00:17:53,038
when you marry for all the wrong reasons.
462
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:54,933
I don't think there are
right and wrong reasons
463
00:17:54,969 --> 00:17:57,286
- to get married.
- Oh, hell, yes, there are.
464
00:17:57,311 --> 00:17:58,837
I got married because I was young
465
00:17:58,873 --> 00:18:00,506
and I was terrified.
466
00:18:00,541 --> 00:18:02,341
And I didn't think I'd have another chance.
467
00:18:02,376 --> 00:18:04,042
And here I am paying you out the nose
468
00:18:04,078 --> 00:18:06,645
just to, haggle over my own damn property.
469
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,515
Now you're single in the golden era
470
00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:12,217
of online dating, so cheers to Tinder.
471
00:18:12,253 --> 00:18:14,119
- Mm, great.
- [Women chuckle]
472
00:18:14,154 --> 00:18:15,354
No, seriously, Delia,
473
00:18:15,389 --> 00:18:17,083
you obviously waited for the one...
474
00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:18,734
The perfect, perfect one.
475
00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:21,126
Snap out of it, Cinderella.
Nothing's perfect.
476
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,349
- [Chuckles]
- I mean, I just...
477
00:18:27,263 --> 00:18:29,864
think that unrealistic expectations
478
00:18:29,889 --> 00:18:31,604
can be as harmful, to a relationship...
479
00:18:31,605 --> 00:18:33,763
Ready for the next round
of cocktail, ladies?
480
00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:35,465
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
481
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:36,566
Yes, yes, yes.
482
00:18:36,602 --> 00:18:38,702
Everything all right, Dee?
483
00:18:38,737 --> 00:18:40,113
Absolutely.
484
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:42,119
As right as rain.
485
00:18:42,144 --> 00:18:46,780
Your heart is like a rubber band
486
00:18:47,046 --> 00:18:49,946
when you give, it expands
487
00:18:49,971 --> 00:18:52,371
you might reach the stars
488
00:18:52,418 --> 00:18:55,419
[Indistinct chatter]
489
00:19:07,866 --> 00:19:09,473
Wait. What the hell's going on,
490
00:19:09,498 --> 00:19:11,879
and why are all my
employees dressed like you?
491
00:19:11,904 --> 00:19:14,304
We are busier than a
one-legged cat in a sandbox.
492
00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:15,772
Isn't it great?
493
00:19:15,808 --> 00:19:17,708
Yeah, there's a line of,
like, 20 people out the door.
494
00:19:17,743 --> 00:19:18,840
What are you guys doing back here?
495
00:19:18,865 --> 00:19:21,411
Oh, I just had to refresh
on peanut butter bombs.
496
00:19:21,447 --> 00:19:23,146
I've been giving out samples all day,
497
00:19:23,182 --> 00:19:25,348
and people are eating them
up like they're curing cancer.
498
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,293
Samples?
499
00:19:26,318 --> 00:19:28,582
Those are, like, $4.75 a piece.
500
00:19:28,754 --> 00:19:31,942
If they want a taste, they can pay for it.
501
00:19:31,967 --> 00:19:33,900
I think we're missing a plum opportunity.
502
00:19:33,925 --> 00:19:36,525
Scott, would you please
explain to our co-manager here
503
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,682
how business works?
504
00:19:37,707 --> 00:19:39,274
Actually, Jo, I think it's a great idea.
505
00:19:39,299 --> 00:19:41,192
I mean, people do get stuck in their ways.
506
00:19:42,364 --> 00:19:43,663
Fine.
507
00:19:43,688 --> 00:19:45,889
Just go back out there
before people start to leave.
508
00:19:45,914 --> 00:19:48,114
Oh, well, you know, where I come from,
509
00:19:48,139 --> 00:19:50,806
a line out the door is
considered good optics.
510
00:19:50,831 --> 00:19:51,551
Mm.
511
00:19:51,576 --> 00:19:53,554
Speaking of which, why are we hiding
512
00:19:53,579 --> 00:19:56,613
our handsome baker and his adorable accent?
513
00:19:56,648 --> 00:19:58,348
Back here all alone,
514
00:19:58,373 --> 00:20:00,206
he's as useless as tits on a bull.
515
00:20:00,231 --> 00:20:01,457
[Giggles]
516
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:04,214
I bet you agree on that too.
517
00:20:04,239 --> 00:20:05,305
Hey, you're the one
518
00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:06,559
who agreed to all of
this in the first place.
519
00:20:06,584 --> 00:20:08,384
Remember that.
520
00:20:08,695 --> 00:20:10,495
That wasn't a fight I could win.
521
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,020
It's never stopped you before.
522
00:20:19,187 --> 00:20:20,386
Okay, hang on.
523
00:20:20,422 --> 00:20:22,122
What's going on, Jo?
524
00:20:22,157 --> 00:20:24,757
You're not acting like
your usual self at all.
525
00:20:25,419 --> 00:20:26,817
No, I'm not.
526
00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:28,801
I'm, um... I'm really...
527
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:32,106
Tired.
528
00:20:34,228 --> 00:20:35,694
[Whispering] All of this...
529
00:20:35,729 --> 00:20:37,402
All of this could get taken away from me.
530
00:20:37,427 --> 00:20:39,627
The only thing I have left is my kid,
531
00:20:39,652 --> 00:20:41,738
and even Zooey gets split down the middle.
532
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:45,918
Hey, no one is ever
taking Rize away from you.
533
00:20:45,943 --> 00:20:46,859
No.
534
00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:49,543
They're gonna make me give it to them.
535
00:20:49,568 --> 00:20:51,735
- Yoo-Hoo, Josephine?
- Yeah?
536
00:20:51,819 --> 00:20:53,552
If you're gonna idle back here,
537
00:20:53,577 --> 00:20:55,811
it looks like a downright
vindictive tornado
538
00:20:55,836 --> 00:20:56,957
has hit the men's commode.
539
00:20:56,982 --> 00:20:58,817
- Oh.
- [Laughing]
540
00:20:58,842 --> 00:20:59,809
You know what?
541
00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:02,754
Why don't... why don't you,
um, go co-manage that, Char?
542
00:21:02,779 --> 00:21:04,192
You know what I think I'm gonna do?
543
00:21:04,217 --> 00:21:05,942
I think I'm gonna take the
rest of the weekend off.
544
00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:08,918
Well, honestly, I think that's a good idea.
545
00:21:09,317 --> 00:21:10,340
Do you?
546
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:13,134
[Whispering] You smell like booze, Jo.
547
00:21:13,499 --> 00:21:14,512
Uh-oh.
548
00:21:14,537 --> 00:21:16,170
Uh-oh.
549
00:21:16,937 --> 00:21:19,905
[Rock music]
550
00:21:19,940 --> 00:21:21,902
551
00:21:21,927 --> 00:21:23,012
Uh-oh.
552
00:21:23,037 --> 00:21:24,069
How is this?
553
00:21:26,075 --> 00:21:29,776
"Divorce is an option,
but only after hard work,
554
00:21:29,812 --> 00:21:31,543
"a lot of communication,
555
00:21:31,568 --> 00:21:34,832
and, usually, the help
of a certified counselor."
556
00:21:36,552 --> 00:21:37,951
It depends.
557
00:21:37,976 --> 00:21:41,574
Are you going for "blah" or "whatever"?
558
00:21:42,543 --> 00:21:44,090
You need a point of view.
559
00:21:45,424 --> 00:21:47,691
Hey, Abby. Ready to wow them?
560
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:50,308
Ready as she'll ever be.
561
00:21:51,237 --> 00:21:53,262
Give 'em good face, face.
562
00:21:54,740 --> 00:21:55,906
All right.
563
00:21:57,973 --> 00:22:01,008
[Cheers and applause]
564
00:22:07,716 --> 00:22:10,043
There's so many more
people than I expected.
565
00:22:10,068 --> 00:22:11,559
[Laughter]
566
00:22:12,812 --> 00:22:14,192
Oh...
567
00:22:23,234 --> 00:22:25,201
So are we divorced yet?
568
00:22:25,226 --> 00:22:27,918
[Cheers and applause]
569
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,206
Crowd: [Chanting] Abby! Abby!
570
00:22:33,242 --> 00:22:34,708
Abby! Abby!
571
00:22:34,743 --> 00:22:37,715
Abby! Abby! Abby! Abby!
572
00:22:41,965 --> 00:22:45,214
Oh my god! That was, amazing!
573
00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:46,652
- You were totally right.
- Oh.
574
00:22:46,684 --> 00:22:48,584
I looked at the new stuff that I wrote,
575
00:22:48,620 --> 00:22:51,520
and it was "blah," and so
I went with the first one,
576
00:22:51,556 --> 00:22:54,156
and they were so responsive.
577
00:22:54,192 --> 00:22:56,792
I learned I need to say on message...
578
00:22:56,828 --> 00:22:57,927
My message.
579
00:22:57,962 --> 00:22:59,428
Oh, that's quite the change of heart.
580
00:22:59,464 --> 00:23:01,168
I mean, I was thinking,
581
00:23:01,499 --> 00:23:03,366
there are a lot of people
here who already cater
582
00:23:03,401 --> 00:23:04,934
to the sad part of a split.
583
00:23:04,969 --> 00:23:07,336
But, people need hope.
584
00:23:07,832 --> 00:23:10,573
I am okay with being that.
585
00:23:10,608 --> 00:23:12,824
- God, what a rush!
- All right, all right.
586
00:23:12,849 --> 00:23:14,777
Well, rush yourself over to your phone.
587
00:23:14,812 --> 00:23:16,606
- It's been ringing.
- Okay.
588
00:23:17,471 --> 00:23:18,590
[Giggles]
589
00:23:18,782 --> 00:23:20,059
[Cell phone vibrating]
590
00:23:21,258 --> 00:23:24,079
_
591
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,928
- [Knock at door, doorbell rings]
- Coming.
592
00:23:34,399 --> 00:23:36,899
- Delia. Hey.
- Hey.
593
00:23:36,935 --> 00:23:39,649
I got all your messages. What's going on?
594
00:23:39,871 --> 00:23:42,004
You're never gonna believe what I did.
595
00:23:42,985 --> 00:23:45,708
I knew having an affair
with Albert was awful.
596
00:23:45,743 --> 00:23:47,282
It just...
597
00:23:48,391 --> 00:23:49,812
[sighs]
598
00:23:49,847 --> 00:23:52,181
The sensible part of me just checked out.
599
00:23:52,216 --> 00:23:55,532
So the only explanation
is that I am a monster.
600
00:23:55,954 --> 00:23:58,988
You're not, and trying to
convince yourself that you are
601
00:23:59,023 --> 00:24:01,016
isn't gonna help you
understand why you did it.
602
00:24:01,292 --> 00:24:03,326
Maybe you're telling yourself
603
00:24:03,361 --> 00:24:05,914
you're not that into being a wife.
604
00:24:07,074 --> 00:24:08,586
I could be a wife.
605
00:24:09,426 --> 00:24:12,445
I'm not the first unhinged
bride to have an affair
606
00:24:12,470 --> 00:24:13,769
before the big day.
607
00:24:13,805 --> 00:24:14,937
Mm-mm. No, you aren't.
608
00:24:14,973 --> 00:24:16,372
It's classic commitment phobia.
609
00:24:16,407 --> 00:24:17,243
Mm-hmm.
610
00:24:17,268 --> 00:24:18,586
Anyway, it's not about Gordon.
611
00:24:18,611 --> 00:24:22,446
It's about blindly devoting
my life, to anything.
612
00:24:23,782 --> 00:24:25,881
- But I love him. I do.
- [Door opens, knock at door]
613
00:24:25,917 --> 00:24:27,516
- Abs?
- Hey. What are you doing here?
614
00:24:27,552 --> 00:24:30,619
Hey. I never turned this in.
615
00:24:30,655 --> 00:24:31,854
Am I interrupting something?
616
00:24:31,889 --> 00:24:34,724
No, no, I was just telling Abby
617
00:24:34,759 --> 00:24:37,460
that, we decided on the milk punch
618
00:24:37,495 --> 00:24:39,562
and the white Negronis, so...
619
00:24:39,597 --> 00:24:41,397
- Nice.
- What's going on, Jo?
620
00:24:41,432 --> 00:24:43,699
You didn't have to bring
those back right now.
621
00:24:43,735 --> 00:24:45,401
Can I spend the night?
622
00:24:45,774 --> 00:24:47,570
I, uh...
623
00:24:47,605 --> 00:24:48,704
Have roaches.
624
00:24:48,740 --> 00:24:50,639
[Laughing] Wouldn't you believe?
625
00:24:50,675 --> 00:24:53,609
So I just figured that the
guesthouse is a safe bet.
626
00:24:53,644 --> 00:24:54,789
You know...
627
00:24:54,814 --> 00:24:57,256
Well, the guesthouse
is taken at the moment,
628
00:24:57,281 --> 00:24:59,211
but we have couches.
629
00:24:59,650 --> 00:25:00,805
Lucky me.
630
00:25:01,352 --> 00:25:02,551
All right.
631
00:25:02,587 --> 00:25:03,986
All right.
632
00:25:04,022 --> 00:25:06,322
- Everything else okay?
- Yeah.
633
00:25:06,357 --> 00:25:07,938
Yeah, sure.
634
00:25:08,259 --> 00:25:10,760
- You want to talk about it?
- No.
635
00:25:10,795 --> 00:25:11,894
Mm-mm.
636
00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:14,063
This is great.
637
00:25:14,098 --> 00:25:17,066
[Laid-back rock music]
638
00:25:17,101 --> 00:25:25,101
639
00:25:26,494 --> 00:25:27,826
Hey.
640
00:25:28,297 --> 00:25:29,875
I was hoping I'd find you here.
641
00:25:30,220 --> 00:25:32,032
I thought you were at a lake.
642
00:25:32,057 --> 00:25:33,457
I cut it short.
643
00:25:33,571 --> 00:25:34,870
Sherry and the kids are still there,
644
00:25:34,906 --> 00:25:38,071
so I have time for my favorite colleague.
645
00:25:38,987 --> 00:25:42,694
How do you feel, about a bungalow
646
00:25:42,719 --> 00:25:44,821
at the Beverly Hills Hotel?
647
00:25:45,383 --> 00:25:47,055
[Sighs]
648
00:25:51,088 --> 00:25:52,054
What?
649
00:25:52,089 --> 00:25:54,297
Albert, we can't do this anymore.
650
00:25:56,093 --> 00:25:57,793
Does Gordon suspect something?
651
00:25:57,829 --> 00:25:59,266
No, I just...
652
00:25:59,697 --> 00:26:02,889
Need this to be, done.
653
00:26:02,914 --> 00:26:03,999
I...
654
00:26:04,035 --> 00:26:05,868
[Sighs]
655
00:26:05,903 --> 00:26:07,369
Albert, you're amazing.
656
00:26:07,405 --> 00:26:11,719
I just... I don't want to
be an, adulteress.
657
00:26:11,909 --> 00:26:13,876
I can't take the guilt.
658
00:26:13,911 --> 00:26:15,438
Well, say no more.
659
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,704
I knew it couldn't last forever.
660
00:26:19,817 --> 00:26:21,450
We had a good time, though, eh?
661
00:26:21,485 --> 00:26:25,020
- Mm-hmm.
- [Both chuckle]
662
00:26:26,039 --> 00:26:27,033
I'm sorry.
663
00:26:27,058 --> 00:26:35,058
664
00:26:37,524 --> 00:26:39,473
Joaquin, hi.
665
00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:41,003
Phoebe, love, you look exquisite.
666
00:26:41,038 --> 00:26:42,881
Thank you.
667
00:26:43,207 --> 00:26:44,506
This is Phoebe Conte,
668
00:26:44,542 --> 00:26:47,476
who graciously agreed to
sit for me in my new series,
669
00:26:47,511 --> 00:26:49,645
even though she's more used to
the cover of Italian "Vogue."
670
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,046
Oh, well, I'm actually
more interested in...
671
00:26:51,082 --> 00:26:52,414
I told my assistants
672
00:26:52,450 --> 00:26:54,416
it's not every day you
get a supermodel to pose.
673
00:26:54,452 --> 00:26:56,485
- Well, I think I was more...
- Don't be modest, honey...
674
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,988
[Whispering] For both of us.
675
00:26:59,023 --> 00:27:00,723
Now, uh, where was I?
676
00:27:00,758 --> 00:27:03,225
The grand illusion of capitalism.
677
00:27:03,261 --> 00:27:04,660
Right, where even innocence
678
00:27:04,695 --> 00:27:06,646
is something to be bought and sold.
679
00:27:07,265 --> 00:27:09,732
Is that Jeff Koons?
680
00:27:09,767 --> 00:27:12,468
Jeff! Excuse me.
681
00:27:14,405 --> 00:27:15,738
[Chuckles awkwardly]
682
00:27:15,773 --> 00:27:18,412
I'm gonna go get some more to drink.
683
00:27:21,042 --> 00:27:23,175
Lucky you. It's our last kit.
684
00:27:23,547 --> 00:27:25,076
Thank you.
685
00:27:25,516 --> 00:27:28,459
Oh, my God. What a weekend.
686
00:27:29,487 --> 00:27:31,020
Are we done? It's only 4:00.
687
00:27:31,055 --> 00:27:32,288
We're out of kits,
688
00:27:32,323 --> 00:27:34,156
and I'd like to enjoy what little remains
689
00:27:34,191 --> 00:27:35,545
of my Sunday.
690
00:27:35,826 --> 00:27:37,793
Excuse me. Abby McCarthy.
691
00:27:37,828 --> 00:27:39,295
- Hi.
- Kenneth Marcus.
692
00:27:39,330 --> 00:27:41,397
- Hi, Kenneth.
- Call me Ken, Kenny, whatever.
693
00:27:41,432 --> 00:27:43,732
- Hi, Kenny.
- Loved your speech.
694
00:27:43,768 --> 00:27:44,867
Thank you.
695
00:27:44,902 --> 00:27:46,468
You know, I'm a huge admirer of your work.
696
00:27:46,504 --> 00:27:47,703
CEO of "Just Playin'."
697
00:27:47,738 --> 00:27:49,204
- We do offbeat gift items.
- Oh.
698
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,106
Silly semen? [Imitates can spraying]
699
00:27:51,142 --> 00:27:52,207
- That's us, right?
- [Laughs]
700
00:27:52,243 --> 00:27:53,842
I've seen that.
701
00:27:53,878 --> 00:27:55,511
- Anyway... divorce.
- Yeah.
702
00:27:55,546 --> 00:27:57,413
Yeah, that's the next frontier for us.
703
00:27:57,448 --> 00:27:59,748
And I want to talk to you
about designing your own line
704
00:27:59,784 --> 00:28:01,283
of themed merchandise.
705
00:28:01,319 --> 00:28:02,918
Well, you're too late on the window clings.
706
00:28:02,954 --> 00:28:03,954
Thanks anyway, but...
707
00:28:03,988 --> 00:28:06,822
No, actually, I would like
708
00:28:06,857 --> 00:28:10,021
to talk to you about that, because...
709
00:28:10,494 --> 00:28:12,728
Hope... Let's spread it.
710
00:28:12,771 --> 00:28:15,238
Yes, let's spread it. Absolutely.
711
00:28:15,266 --> 00:28:17,132
- Yeah.
- Okay, great.
712
00:28:17,168 --> 00:28:19,268
Scott, pants up!
713
00:28:19,303 --> 00:28:20,869
[Lively pop music]
714
00:28:20,905 --> 00:28:23,405
Who the hell runs out of
chickpea flour, anyway...
715
00:28:23,441 --> 00:28:26,575
[gasps] Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
716
00:28:26,610 --> 00:28:27,843
- Uh...
- [Both clear throats]
717
00:28:27,878 --> 00:28:30,546
Your dick is Brutus. You
got Brutus for a dick.
718
00:28:30,581 --> 00:28:33,782
Ironically, I, too, am not
immune to adorable accents.
719
00:28:33,818 --> 00:28:35,217
This is not what it looks like.
720
00:28:35,857 --> 00:28:38,095
This man is a liar and a manipulator.
721
00:28:38,122 --> 00:28:39,621
He is trying to push you out of Rize.
722
00:28:39,657 --> 00:28:40,990
Oh, no, honey.
723
00:28:41,025 --> 00:28:42,958
It looks like you were trying
to push your hand down his pants,
724
00:28:42,994 --> 00:28:44,259
you puta loca.
725
00:28:44,295 --> 00:28:45,961
I was just trying to get him to talk.
726
00:28:45,997 --> 00:28:47,296
I know his type.
727
00:28:47,331 --> 00:28:50,299
He says that you draw
boundaries around him creatively.
728
00:28:50,334 --> 00:28:52,301
I-I-I... what?
729
00:28:52,336 --> 00:28:54,470
That was Brutus talking.
730
00:28:54,505 --> 00:28:56,839
Don't trust a word he
says. He is playing you.
731
00:28:56,874 --> 00:28:58,403
I will deal with Scott.
732
00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:01,710
Now, are you gonna tell Robert about this,
733
00:29:01,746 --> 00:29:03,357
or do I get the pleasure?
734
00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:06,692
Oh, well, go ahead. Tell him.
735
00:29:06,717 --> 00:29:08,117
See if I care.
736
00:29:08,756 --> 00:29:12,187
Robert will believe me
no matter what you say.
737
00:29:12,223 --> 00:29:17,159
738
00:29:20,146 --> 00:29:22,716
The genius of it is, it's a
tear away calendar, right...
739
00:29:22,741 --> 00:29:25,919
but each sheet has its own cocktail recipe
740
00:29:25,944 --> 00:29:27,170
and catchphrases.
741
00:29:27,195 --> 00:29:29,512
Here, "why aren't we divorced yet?"
742
00:29:29,548 --> 00:29:30,980
[Giggles] Cute.
743
00:29:31,016 --> 00:29:33,607
"Not easy? Not worth it."
744
00:29:33,632 --> 00:29:34,904
Uh, I didn't say that.
745
00:29:34,936 --> 00:29:36,402
Well, you implied it.
746
00:29:36,657 --> 00:29:38,423
Plus, there's so many days of the year.
747
00:29:38,623 --> 00:29:39,982
Let's talk wine charms.
748
00:29:40,007 --> 00:29:41,591
Wait. Can we just go back to the calendar?
749
00:29:41,626 --> 00:29:42,732
Because if I was gonna do that...
750
00:29:42,757 --> 00:29:43,818
We're not married to it.
751
00:29:43,843 --> 00:29:44,959
You don't like it, forget about it,
752
00:29:44,984 --> 00:29:47,474
because you're gonna love this.
753
00:29:47,499 --> 00:29:49,966
- Huh?
- Uh, I did not say that either.
754
00:29:50,001 --> 00:29:52,035
Mm, actually, you did
755
00:29:52,070 --> 00:29:54,232
in that piece about dating apps.
756
00:29:54,473 --> 00:29:56,224
I was being ironic.
757
00:29:56,506 --> 00:29:59,774
I brought you a little gift
758
00:29:59,911 --> 00:30:02,412
from, Santa's workshop.
759
00:30:02,447 --> 00:30:03,842
[Laughing]
760
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:06,000
You see, consumers can customize their own
761
00:30:06,035 --> 00:30:08,269
by uploading a photo of their ex...
762
00:30:08,304 --> 00:30:11,272
I don't want to throw darts at Jake's face.
763
00:30:11,307 --> 00:30:12,818
You said you wanted to kill him
764
00:30:12,843 --> 00:30:15,210
in a video that got,
like, six million views.
765
00:30:16,145 --> 00:30:17,677
I did.
766
00:30:20,326 --> 00:30:23,317
And, um, I'm sorry.
767
00:30:24,219 --> 00:30:26,342
I'm not interested in any of this.
768
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,523
All right.
769
00:30:37,833 --> 00:30:40,801
[Upbeat music]
770
00:30:40,836 --> 00:30:42,536
771
00:30:42,571 --> 00:30:45,572
[Indistinct chatter]
772
00:30:51,247 --> 00:30:52,913
JD?
773
00:30:53,279 --> 00:30:54,748
You're still here.
774
00:30:54,784 --> 00:30:56,917
Hi, um...
775
00:30:56,953 --> 00:30:59,987
You look, uh...
776
00:31:00,022 --> 00:31:01,865
Again...
777
00:31:03,826 --> 00:31:05,125
You working?
778
00:31:05,161 --> 00:31:08,495
Yeah, after the preview,
we have to finish a lot
779
00:31:08,531 --> 00:31:12,623
of art and hang it, at...
780
00:31:12,857 --> 00:31:14,568
Um, downtown...
781
00:31:14,603 --> 00:31:16,334
- The gallery?
- Yes.
782
00:31:18,074 --> 00:31:19,640
Well, do you want to take a break
783
00:31:19,675 --> 00:31:21,909
and join the party?
784
00:31:21,944 --> 00:31:23,177
[Sighs] No.
785
00:31:23,212 --> 00:31:24,745
And Joaquin wouldn't allow it, anyway.
786
00:31:24,780 --> 00:31:25,913
Why?
787
00:31:25,948 --> 00:31:27,560
You make the art too.
788
00:31:28,117 --> 00:31:30,551
Joaquin believes people don't want to know
789
00:31:30,586 --> 00:31:32,119
how the sausage is made.
790
00:31:32,154 --> 00:31:33,454
Oh, well, that's convenient for him,
791
00:31:33,489 --> 00:31:36,443
seeing that the main
ingredient seems to be you.
792
00:31:37,303 --> 00:31:39,026
It really is not that unusual.
793
00:31:39,061 --> 00:31:40,521
But it is that annoying.
794
00:31:41,497 --> 00:31:44,162
Is the whole art world this...
795
00:31:45,301 --> 00:31:47,334
- Terrible?
- Yes.
796
00:31:47,370 --> 00:31:49,136
No, not at all.
797
00:31:49,171 --> 00:31:51,305
- But the people...
- Are buyers.
798
00:31:51,340 --> 00:31:53,607
One of them has his Picasso
799
00:31:53,642 --> 00:31:56,010
displayed with a black light.
800
00:31:56,045 --> 00:31:57,745
"Brings out the colors."
801
00:31:57,780 --> 00:31:59,980
Another one has his
Basquiat hung upside down.
802
00:32:00,016 --> 00:32:01,382
[Gasps] No.
803
00:32:01,417 --> 00:32:05,513
That's what happens when
stupidity and money collide.
804
00:32:06,771 --> 00:32:09,600
Do you want to go get some tacos?
805
00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:11,125
[Both chuckle]
806
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,128
[Laid-back music]
807
00:32:14,163 --> 00:32:15,629
First I'm going to kill you,
808
00:32:15,664 --> 00:32:17,131
and then I'm going to fire your ass!
809
00:32:17,166 --> 00:32:18,332
- Easy, easy!
- What the hell?
810
00:32:18,367 --> 00:32:19,767
- You stay out of this, Jo!
- Oh, come on!
811
00:32:19,802 --> 00:32:21,301
Lover boy here is a psychopath!
812
00:32:21,337 --> 00:32:22,503
He's obsessed with Charlene!
813
00:32:22,538 --> 00:32:24,772
Hey, hey, hey! Come on! That's bullshit!
814
00:32:24,807 --> 00:32:26,106
Why the hell is she at home right now
815
00:32:26,107 --> 00:32:28,184
- crying her eyes out?
- Because, Robert,
816
00:32:28,209 --> 00:32:29,910
she's out of her flippin' gourd!
817
00:32:29,945 --> 00:32:31,345
Just like you, okay?
818
00:32:31,380 --> 00:32:34,448
Scott here, he's a train
wreck of a delicate flower!
819
00:32:34,483 --> 00:32:37,317
And, yeah, it's a pain in the
ass from a staffing perspective.
820
00:32:37,353 --> 00:32:39,186
He likes to screw around
with his coworkers.
821
00:32:39,221 --> 00:32:41,795
They always consent, always.
822
00:32:41,820 --> 00:32:42,853
Enthusiastically.
823
00:32:43,092 --> 00:32:44,291
You are so dead!
824
00:32:44,326 --> 00:32:45,659
Stand down!
825
00:32:45,694 --> 00:32:47,709
I am so sick of this!
826
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,060
Did we not love each other once?
827
00:32:52,101 --> 00:32:54,001
Yeah, maybe it was co-dependent.
828
00:32:54,036 --> 00:32:56,136
Maybe it was toxic, but we did get married,
829
00:32:56,172 --> 00:32:57,504
and we shared everything together,
830
00:32:57,540 --> 00:32:59,540
including our goddamn
money, and here we are.
831
00:32:59,575 --> 00:33:01,942
You're the one who wants
to make this into a fight!
832
00:33:01,977 --> 00:33:03,263
Am I?
833
00:33:04,170 --> 00:33:06,013
When you didn't even
have the decency to leave?
834
00:33:06,048 --> 00:33:08,318
You had to have a secret
life to run away to.
835
00:33:09,652 --> 00:33:11,474
Who knows if any of it was real?
836
00:33:12,397 --> 00:33:14,552
You took everything away from us,
837
00:33:15,357 --> 00:33:17,091
including our goddamn memories.
838
00:33:17,126 --> 00:33:20,494
And here I am, trying to
get my life back together,
839
00:33:20,529 --> 00:33:23,197
and you two waltz in here
trying to take the one thing
840
00:33:23,232 --> 00:33:25,334
away from me that you
haven't shit on already.
841
00:33:27,336 --> 00:33:29,002
Do you hate me that much?
842
00:33:29,490 --> 00:33:30,704
Oh, Jo, no.
843
00:33:30,739 --> 00:33:32,404
No, I don't hate... I never...
844
00:33:34,877 --> 00:33:36,662
What do you expect me to do?
845
00:33:38,180 --> 00:33:39,873
Have some empathy.
846
00:33:41,417 --> 00:33:42,482
I do.
847
00:33:43,553 --> 00:33:45,724
I do, Jo.
848
00:33:48,037 --> 00:33:49,763
But I'm with Charlene now.
849
00:33:51,127 --> 00:33:54,528
And the lawyers haven't decided
who this place belongs to.
850
00:33:54,563 --> 00:33:55,803
Until they do...
851
00:33:57,199 --> 00:33:58,537
This place is mine.
852
00:34:01,103 --> 00:34:03,637
Charlene wants to bang a baker,
she can do it at Le Pain.
853
00:34:03,672 --> 00:34:04,838
- That's low.
- Get out.
854
00:34:04,874 --> 00:34:07,074
- That's low, even for you.
- Get out...
855
00:34:07,109 --> 00:34:10,607
Before I tell Zooey about
what was on Scott's menu today.
856
00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:12,396
Try me.
857
00:34:16,051 --> 00:34:17,834
All right, this isn't over.
858
00:34:18,589 --> 00:34:20,122
No, it's not.
859
00:34:20,322 --> 00:34:23,290
[Lively pop music]
860
00:34:23,325 --> 00:34:27,895
861
00:34:27,930 --> 00:34:29,163
There you are.
862
00:34:29,198 --> 00:34:31,565
I have someone I want you to
meet... a collector of mine.
863
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,474
He's sort of a big fish.
864
00:34:34,270 --> 00:34:36,737
Phoebe... Spectacular, isn't she?
865
00:34:36,772 --> 00:34:38,372
Your girls always are.
866
00:34:38,407 --> 00:34:39,540
Yeah, but she's special.
867
00:34:39,575 --> 00:34:41,508
She sat for me yesterday
for the new series.
868
00:34:41,544 --> 00:34:43,377
She usually models for
French "Vogue," but...
869
00:34:43,412 --> 00:34:45,045
"Italian," and, technically, I sat for JD.
870
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,548
You know, the work felt
a bit satirical at first,
871
00:34:47,583 --> 00:34:49,449
but now I'm beginning to
see it as something like a...
872
00:34:49,485 --> 00:34:52,252
A cry from the bowels
of the machine itself.
873
00:34:52,288 --> 00:34:54,788
- I'm already in love.
- Wow.
874
00:34:54,823 --> 00:34:56,723
So Phoebe's piece... is it spoken for yet?
875
00:34:56,759 --> 00:34:58,625
Not yet, but I think it's gonna be
876
00:34:58,661 --> 00:34:59,793
one of the standouts.
877
00:34:59,828 --> 00:35:00,928
I'm actually looking for something
878
00:35:00,963 --> 00:35:04,198
in the 40-by-60
range for my walk-in.
879
00:35:04,233 --> 00:35:05,599
Oh, your closet. Of course.
880
00:35:05,634 --> 00:35:07,067
Done and done. I can go that big.
881
00:35:07,102 --> 00:35:10,115
Oh, excellent. Excellent.
882
00:35:10,639 --> 00:35:11,928
Bye.
883
00:35:12,492 --> 00:35:14,158
Wow, this has been enlightening. I'm out.
884
00:35:14,210 --> 00:35:15,976
So soon? But we...
885
00:35:16,011 --> 00:35:18,011
I am not a girl in a bikini at a car show.
886
00:35:18,047 --> 00:35:19,680
- This is bullshit.
- Oh, really?
887
00:35:19,715 --> 00:35:21,782
Well, please forgive me
for trying to educate you
888
00:35:21,817 --> 00:35:23,250
about exactly what you asked me to.
889
00:35:23,285 --> 00:35:25,652
You know what? You're right. I used you.
890
00:35:25,688 --> 00:35:27,788
And you used me, and now I'm gone.
891
00:35:27,823 --> 00:35:29,990
You don't even realize
what I can teach you.
892
00:35:30,025 --> 00:35:32,693
No, you taught me that
I need to stop confusing
893
00:35:32,728 --> 00:35:36,129
big words and bad denim
for life experiences,
894
00:35:36,165 --> 00:35:37,331
so thank you.
895
00:35:37,366 --> 00:35:38,865
[Chuckles]
896
00:35:43,539 --> 00:35:44,838
That guy's a jackass.
897
00:35:44,873 --> 00:35:46,573
Don't take anything he says personally.
898
00:35:46,609 --> 00:35:48,375
I just... I thought I was being authentic,
899
00:35:48,410 --> 00:35:51,011
you know, but apparently I inspire aprons
900
00:35:51,046 --> 00:35:52,913
about ditching commitment.
901
00:35:52,948 --> 00:35:55,716
Me, who can't stand that Harris
902
00:35:55,751 --> 00:35:57,184
won't say he's my boyfriend.
903
00:35:57,219 --> 00:35:59,537
So he's not big on commitment?
904
00:35:59,888 --> 00:36:02,456
Not so much, at least not yet.
905
00:36:02,491 --> 00:36:04,646
Well, it really hasn't been that long.
906
00:36:05,194 --> 00:36:08,795
I know. That is what I am trying to say.
907
00:36:08,831 --> 00:36:12,099
It's like... I talk a big game,
908
00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:14,668
but the whole sexy-divorc?e thing?
909
00:36:14,703 --> 00:36:16,279
It is just not me.
910
00:36:16,572 --> 00:36:18,826
I-I saw that crowd,
911
00:36:19,408 --> 00:36:20,638
and I caved.
912
00:36:21,610 --> 00:36:23,029
I'm a faker.
913
00:36:23,445 --> 00:36:26,446
Everything I touch turns to fake.
914
00:36:26,482 --> 00:36:28,348
Fake, fake, fakey, fake,
fake, fake, fake, fake, fake,
915
00:36:28,384 --> 00:36:29,783
fake, fake, fake.
916
00:36:29,818 --> 00:36:31,045
You're not even contradicting me.
917
00:36:33,755 --> 00:36:37,390
[Elevator bell dings]
918
00:36:37,559 --> 00:36:40,527
[Rock music]
919
00:36:40,562 --> 00:36:45,565
920
00:36:50,254 --> 00:36:51,701
Any sign of them?
921
00:36:52,951 --> 00:36:54,756
Pretty sure I scared 'em off for good.
922
00:36:55,162 --> 00:36:56,595
Huh.
923
00:36:56,620 --> 00:36:58,396
You're not gonna give me any credit?
924
00:36:59,224 --> 00:37:00,435
For what?
925
00:37:02,895 --> 00:37:06,563
Yesterday, she was all over me.
926
00:37:06,598 --> 00:37:08,598
At first, I rebuffed her advances,
927
00:37:08,634 --> 00:37:10,167
because I just knew that she was trying
928
00:37:10,202 --> 00:37:11,693
to turn me against you.
929
00:37:11,718 --> 00:37:13,873
So, I declined,
930
00:37:14,673 --> 00:37:17,506
telling her that my
allegiance was with my dear Jo.
931
00:37:18,243 --> 00:37:20,143
Is this the "Game of Thrones"?
932
00:37:20,179 --> 00:37:21,920
- Less rape-y.
- Mm.
933
00:37:21,945 --> 00:37:24,514
So, after we closed,
934
00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:26,616
I may or may not have let slip
935
00:37:26,652 --> 00:37:27,684
that you were annoying me
936
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,419
and that if Charlene and I joined forces,
937
00:37:29,454 --> 00:37:30,787
we could throw you out of the bakery.
938
00:37:31,056 --> 00:37:33,223
I also may or may not have suggested
939
00:37:33,258 --> 00:37:35,506
that we consummate our
relationship with some snogging.
940
00:37:36,914 --> 00:37:38,209
You set her up.
941
00:37:39,131 --> 00:37:41,231
Are you trying to say you did that for me?
942
00:37:41,266 --> 00:37:42,607
Perhaps.
943
00:37:43,235 --> 00:37:44,537
Maybe.
944
00:37:45,368 --> 00:37:47,638
I could tell you had a lot on your plate.
945
00:37:52,644 --> 00:37:55,278
I always say that I
don't think of my marriage
946
00:37:55,314 --> 00:37:56,947
as a failure, even though it ended.
947
00:37:56,982 --> 00:37:58,215
But the truth is,
948
00:37:58,250 --> 00:38:00,599
a part of me does think we failed.
949
00:38:00,953 --> 00:38:04,412
And I have a confession to make.
950
00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:08,758
It has been, so hard
951
00:38:08,794 --> 00:38:11,670
letting go of our family and each other
952
00:38:11,927 --> 00:38:13,694
that, uh...
953
00:38:13,932 --> 00:38:16,498
Jake and I tried to reconcile
954
00:38:17,311 --> 00:38:18,818
while I was working here.
955
00:38:18,988 --> 00:38:21,555
It was brief, very.
956
00:38:22,098 --> 00:38:24,799
And if there was a moment...
957
00:38:24,824 --> 00:38:27,258
[Voice breaking] That
we could have saved us,
958
00:38:27,412 --> 00:38:28,888
we missed it.
959
00:38:29,211 --> 00:38:30,544
Okay, this is sad. I don't like it.
960
00:38:30,782 --> 00:38:33,750
It is, and I don't put
any of this into my column,
961
00:38:33,785 --> 00:38:35,834
because, you know, "happy face."
962
00:38:36,185 --> 00:38:38,185
But happy is not the whole story.
963
00:38:38,210 --> 00:38:40,877
The whole story, is better.
964
00:38:40,974 --> 00:38:44,310
It has ups and downs. [Chuckles]
965
00:38:45,132 --> 00:38:47,834
I need to take control of my message.
966
00:38:49,574 --> 00:38:51,140
So you're ditching your entire brand?
967
00:38:51,165 --> 00:38:52,898
No, I'm not ditching my brand.
968
00:38:52,923 --> 00:38:54,723
I'm expanding it.
969
00:38:54,873 --> 00:38:56,573
I mean, isn't that what we want?
970
00:38:56,608 --> 00:38:59,342
No, not from you.
971
00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:01,444
Your thing is working. Don't mess with it.
972
00:39:01,542 --> 00:39:03,342
I hate this.
973
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,967
Actually, I think it's a good idea.
974
00:39:11,029 --> 00:39:12,462
Jesus, not you too.
975
00:39:12,573 --> 00:39:14,507
Our readers are pretty sophisticated.
976
00:39:14,532 --> 00:39:16,732
They'd probably appreciate
some self-awareness
977
00:39:16,757 --> 00:39:18,256
from their lifestyle gurus.
978
00:39:24,826 --> 00:39:26,403
Yeah, no, you know,
979
00:39:26,438 --> 00:39:28,872
I've already clicked to a
BuzzFeed quiz in my mind.
980
00:39:28,907 --> 00:39:31,107
So, Abby, I want 1,000 words
981
00:39:31,143 --> 00:39:33,709
on something that makes...
happy thoughts...
982
00:39:34,513 --> 00:39:35,732
by Friday.
983
00:39:38,208 --> 00:39:40,308
1,000 words of bullshit, stat.
984
00:39:40,452 --> 00:39:42,084
Forget about the column.
985
00:39:42,319 --> 00:39:44,419
We'll throw together some listicle
986
00:39:44,444 --> 00:39:47,312
of "29 things we learned at Splitcon '16."
987
00:39:47,337 --> 00:39:49,737
- We can do that in our sleep.
- Yeah.
988
00:39:49,817 --> 00:39:50,623
Thanks.
989
00:39:51,790 --> 00:39:53,223
And thanks for what you said in there.
990
00:39:53,248 --> 00:39:55,715
Oh, don't worry about him.
991
00:39:55,901 --> 00:39:57,867
Just slowly course-correct each week,
992
00:39:57,892 --> 00:39:59,758
and eventually you'll get to...
993
00:39:59,805 --> 00:40:02,672
"sexy and divorced
but pro-marriage face."
994
00:40:02,708 --> 00:40:05,670
[Chuckles] I can do that.
995
00:40:05,844 --> 00:40:08,092
Mm. [Chuckles]
996
00:40:08,340 --> 00:40:09,818
Thanks again.
997
00:40:13,618 --> 00:40:18,288
I'm not going on a date with
Doug the Deadbeat Hunter.
998
00:40:18,904 --> 00:40:22,107
My ex stopped paying child support.
999
00:40:22,541 --> 00:40:23,974
He's got money.
1000
00:40:23,999 --> 00:40:27,209
He's just spending it on
spoiling his new woman.
1001
00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:29,357
Your sister?
1002
00:40:29,390 --> 00:40:32,091
I choose to think that
she's adopted, but, yes.
1003
00:40:32,404 --> 00:40:34,818
He knows I can't afford
lawyers and all that.
1004
00:40:34,843 --> 00:40:36,576
Hell, it turns out I can't afford Doug.
1005
00:40:36,601 --> 00:40:39,335
You know, your friend Delia
1006
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,461
would eat your ex for breakfast, pro bono.
1007
00:40:42,486 --> 00:40:44,670
- Oh, I couldn't.
- I could.
1008
00:40:46,028 --> 00:40:47,506
If you think it's worth trying.
1009
00:40:47,531 --> 00:40:49,464
She lives for this stuff.
1010
00:40:56,604 --> 00:40:58,771
- Door.
- Look at you.
1011
00:41:00,532 --> 00:41:02,332
You're learning.
1012
00:41:02,367 --> 00:41:05,335
[Rock music]
1013
00:41:05,370 --> 00:41:09,139
1014
00:41:09,174 --> 00:41:10,443
Hey.
1015
00:41:11,011 --> 00:41:12,544
Hey.
1016
00:41:12,626 --> 00:41:14,459
Doorman had this for you.
1017
00:41:14,484 --> 00:41:16,050
Maybe it's a wedding present.
1018
00:41:16,189 --> 00:41:19,824
Oh. Thank you. Mm.
1019
00:41:19,985 --> 00:41:21,334
- So, listen...
- Mm-hmm.
1020
00:41:21,359 --> 00:41:23,219
I'm running late. I got
to get my Mom to LAX.
1021
00:41:23,255 --> 00:41:25,115
But maybe later we go to crossroads...
1022
00:41:25,162 --> 00:41:27,279
Make up for all that takeout this weekend?
1023
00:41:27,304 --> 00:41:30,568
Mm, he makes vegan sound dreamy.
1024
00:41:31,494 --> 00:41:33,360
Okay. I'll be back.
1025
00:41:33,630 --> 00:41:35,897
I'll see you soon. All right?
1026
00:41:35,922 --> 00:41:36,955
Okay, bye.
1027
00:41:36,980 --> 00:41:38,846
Bye.
1028
00:41:44,937 --> 00:41:46,537
[Door closes]
1029
00:41:47,945 --> 00:41:49,544
[Chuckles]
1030
00:41:55,287 --> 00:41:58,254
[Dramatic music]
1031
00:41:58,290 --> 00:42:01,891
1032
00:42:01,927 --> 00:42:03,615
Oh, my God.
1033
00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:07,924
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1034
00:42:07,949 --> 00:42:10,154
1035
00:42:10,179 --> 00:42:12,313
Oh, my God.
1036
00:42:12,807 --> 00:42:15,441
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1037
00:42:15,473 --> 00:42:16,567
Oh, my God.
1038
00:42:16,592 --> 00:42:19,615
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
1039
00:42:19,665 --> 00:42:24,215
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