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(Abby) Previously on
Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce...
2
00:00:02,589 --> 00:00:03,923
Some of us like our husbands.
3
00:00:04,007 --> 00:00:05,474
We want to know if there's
a problem, so we can fix it.
4
00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:07,126
What kind of junior-high, mommy-mafia,
5
00:00:07,211 --> 00:00:09,712
anti-feminist bullshit is this?
6
00:00:09,797 --> 00:00:11,347
We learn to evaluate the risks.
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Evaluate your risks with me.
8
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Plane leaves Friday night.
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[cell phone beeping]
10
00:00:16,637 --> 00:00:19,430
_
11
00:00:19,606 --> 00:00:21,307
You remember when you kissed me that time?
12
00:00:21,391 --> 00:00:25,361
You reminded me that, uh,
I actually do like pleasure.
13
00:00:25,479 --> 00:00:26,779
I only want to see you.
14
00:00:26,864 --> 00:00:29,365
Does that make you my boyfriend?
15
00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:33,302
No matter what happens, we're family.
16
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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:00:47,365 --> 00:00:49,065
My God.
18
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:51,601
What is happening down here?
19
00:00:51,736 --> 00:00:52,869
[door closes]
20
00:00:52,954 --> 00:00:54,204
Hey, Fabs. Don't worry,
21
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,623
I'm getting all this
stuff out of here today.
22
00:00:56,741 --> 00:00:59,242
Every time I come down here
this crap has metastasized.
23
00:00:59,377 --> 00:01:01,494
Okay, it's messy, but it's not cancer.
24
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,230
And it's for a good cause. Remember that.
25
00:01:04,248 --> 00:01:06,216
I give them, like, $8
million a year in tuition.
26
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,218
Why do they still need
to have fund-raisers?
27
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:11,004
And nobody wants to go to those things.
28
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:14,224
You cannot have my copy of Thrive.
29
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,593
- Why not?
- This is my Arianna swag.
30
00:01:16,727 --> 00:01:18,127
And she signed it to me, by the way.
31
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:19,262
So get another one.
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00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,514
We all know you're BFFs with Miss HuffPost.
33
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,600
Hello?
34
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,268
Who donated the tepee?
35
00:01:25,436 --> 00:01:28,772
Oh, okay, bongos included,
his kid's in kinder...
36
00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:30,440
(both) McConaughey!
37
00:01:30,608 --> 00:01:33,026
How is this being a good friend?
38
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,611
How are you on the fund-raising committee
39
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,112
after those Heathers ran me out of there?
40
00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:38,114
Look, my baby doesn't
make friends that fast.
41
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,750
You know, the blazer,
the big words, it just...
42
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,619
it confuses most kids.
43
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,121
And she's taken the
second-family news hard.
44
00:01:45,256 --> 00:01:46,706
I just figure I work the new besties,
45
00:01:46,791 --> 00:01:49,843
then maybe she gets
invited to a party or two.
46
00:01:49,961 --> 00:01:51,881
She needs a distraction
from all the daddy drama.
47
00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,797
Whoa, a tepee!
48
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:54,798
Go get it. Watch your butt.
49
00:01:54,966 --> 00:01:56,516
- Watch your butt.
- Oh, my God.
50
00:01:56,634 --> 00:01:59,269
Look at the hamburger phone.
It's like the one from Juno.
51
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,271
(Jo) It is the one from Juno, my love.
52
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,806
Care of Mr. Jason Reitman.
53
00:02:02,974 --> 00:02:04,140
Mom, you have to get on this.
54
00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:05,475
You never come home with anything good.
55
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,810
Starting bid... $1,000.
56
00:02:06,944 --> 00:02:07,894
(Abby) Bye-bye, hamburger phone.
57
00:02:08,029 --> 00:02:09,062
You know what?
58
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,363
I'm gonna take you to In-N-Out Burger.
59
00:02:10,481 --> 00:02:12,032
You can pretend to call
your friends with it tonight.
60
00:02:12,149 --> 00:02:13,316
(Jo) Okay, you guys, grab something.
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00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,401
We're gonna load the car.
62
00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:16,036
"We" are?
63
00:02:16,153 --> 00:02:17,821
It's over-privileged children.
64
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:18,905
Have a heart.
65
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,790
I peed in the tepee!
66
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,826
I peed in the tepee!
67
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,470
Mm. Can't we just play hooky all day?
68
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:35,221
I don't want to get out of bed.
69
00:02:35,339 --> 00:02:38,174
Yeah, I know. The sheets are so soft.
70
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:41,177
Oh, is that what you like
about my bed, is the sheets?
71
00:02:41,312 --> 00:02:43,013
No, I think it's also a good mattress.
72
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:45,015
[laughs] You're so mean.
73
00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:46,433
I don't want to talk to you anymore.
74
00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:48,518
You know there's nothing I'd
rather do with you than...
75
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,904
[smooches] Mess up these sheets
all day, but I got to go to work.
76
00:02:51,022 --> 00:02:52,405
- No. No.
- Yep, I do.
77
00:02:52,523 --> 00:02:54,274
Let's pick this up on Friday.
78
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,526
No. No, I can't Friday.
79
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:57,820
What you got to do on Friday?
80
00:02:57,828 --> 00:03:00,747
I am gonna be sipping warm Chardonnay
81
00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:02,582
at the school funder,
82
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:06,419
at the ridiculous singles' table...
83
00:03:06,537 --> 00:03:08,088
unless you want to come with me.
84
00:03:08,205 --> 00:03:10,040
A fund-raiser for the children of the 1%?
85
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,375
Let me count the ways
I don't want to do that.
86
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:14,711
But it's gonna be fun. It's a theme party.
87
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,513
- Yeah?
- Orange is the New Black.
88
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,049
You get to dress as your
favorite good or bad guy,
89
00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:20,433
depending on what side
of the law you're on.
90
00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:22,435
Only white people think
partying in a prison jumpsuit
91
00:03:22,553 --> 00:03:24,104
is a good time.
92
00:03:24,221 --> 00:03:26,056
Honestly, you will be saving me
93
00:03:26,223 --> 00:03:29,976
from drunken passes made
by sad, divorced dads.
94
00:03:30,061 --> 00:03:31,301
I might have to think about it.
95
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,592
Oh, yeah? Just because of my ass?
96
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:33,613
Yeah.
97
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,239
All right.
98
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,824
[laughs]
99
00:03:44,909 --> 00:03:46,960
I got it. I got it. I got it.
100
00:03:47,078 --> 00:03:48,044
All right, all right, all right.
101
00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,162
Okay.
102
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:51,381
- Well, I'm plus-one.
- What?
103
00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,582
Marco's coming.
104
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:53,917
- Oh, that's great.
- Yep.
105
00:03:54,085 --> 00:03:55,085
Mm-hmm.
106
00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:56,669
Maybe he and Will can have a rematch
107
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over American exceptionalism.
108
00:03:58,255 --> 00:03:59,422
Wow. Will's coming?
109
00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:01,391
- Yeah, he's my boyfriend.
- Okay.
110
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:03,309
Okay, sex-havers, don't rub it in.
111
00:04:03,427 --> 00:04:04,427
Sorry.
112
00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:05,908
Um, we're going as Bonnie and Clyde...
113
00:04:05,930 --> 00:04:08,098
His idea because Bonnie was also a writer.
114
00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:09,649
He sent me some of her poems.
115
00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:11,401
- Ugh.
- Very romantic.
116
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,736
Okay, if you don't stop,
I'm gonna punch your face in.
117
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,106
[laughs]
118
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,324
What does this smell like?
119
00:04:18,442 --> 00:04:20,110
That is tepee pee-pee.
120
00:04:20,277 --> 00:04:21,444
- Don't ask. Just...
- What?
121
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,613
Take the other thing. Don't ask.
122
00:04:23,747 --> 00:04:24,998
(Jo) Keep going, Abby.
123
00:04:25,116 --> 00:04:27,117
- Where am I going?
- Here we go. Here we go.
124
00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:30,120
Wow, Jo.
125
00:04:30,254 --> 00:04:31,121
Could you be more awesome?
126
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:33,456
Mm. Christmas came early.
127
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:34,757
Abby, nice of you to pitch in.
128
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,260
You're so welcome.
129
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,179
[sniffs] Ugh.
130
00:04:39,296 --> 00:04:40,964
Kori, hey.
131
00:04:41,098 --> 00:04:42,515
Hey.
132
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:43,883
Glad you could make it.
133
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:46,136
Oh, my God.
134
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:47,854
Abby, can we go?
135
00:04:47,972 --> 00:04:49,856
Phoebe.
136
00:04:49,974 --> 00:04:51,808
Hi. [scoffs]
137
00:04:51,942 --> 00:04:54,611
It has been a long time.
138
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,779
Yeah.
139
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:57,897
Um...
140
00:04:58,032 --> 00:05:00,817
Abby McCarthy, this is Kori Wingo.
141
00:05:00,951 --> 00:05:03,271
Kori Wingo, the photographer.
Oh, my God, I love your work.
142
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,487
I'm a big fan.
143
00:05:04,655 --> 00:05:06,175
I didn't know you guys knew each other.
144
00:05:06,207 --> 00:05:08,247
Kori offered one of her
photographs for the auction.
145
00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:09,325
Wow.
146
00:05:09,493 --> 00:05:10,660
So you have children?
147
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:14,380
No, my partner Liv's got
a little guy, Desi... seven.
148
00:05:14,498 --> 00:05:15,415
Is he in Ms. Sorenson's class?
149
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:16,549
'Cause she's great.
150
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:19,219
No, he just started kindergarten.
151
00:05:19,336 --> 00:05:23,756
Who would have thought we would
be parents together at a school?
152
00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:25,175
- I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
153
00:05:25,309 --> 00:05:27,844
- We'll talk later, okay?
- Okay.
154
00:05:27,978 --> 00:05:29,846
It was nice to meet you.
155
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,848
Yeah.
156
00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:37,403
Okay, so fast... fast as
you can, free association.
157
00:05:37,521 --> 00:05:38,521
What is your favorite subject?
158
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:39,606
Math.
159
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:40,847
What is your favorite activity?
160
00:05:40,858 --> 00:05:43,359
Farts. [children laughing]
161
00:05:43,494 --> 00:05:45,445
Who is your favorite teacher?
162
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,579
Wait. Don't answer that.
163
00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:48,531
That could hurt your
career here, long-term.
164
00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,200
I don't have a career.
165
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:51,534
You better get a career.
166
00:05:51,669 --> 00:05:52,869
What are you, like, in
second grade, you slacker?
167
00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:54,754
Okay, we got it. Thank you.
168
00:05:54,872 --> 00:05:56,456
Thank you guys. All of you.
169
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,541
That was hilarious, Jake.
170
00:05:58,676 --> 00:05:59,759
Should we do the teachers at lunch?
171
00:05:59,877 --> 00:06:01,261
I don't like how that
sounds, but, yes, let's.
172
00:06:01,378 --> 00:06:04,347
- [laughs]
- Okay, good idea.
173
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:05,431
You look spiffy.
174
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,766
Thanks.
175
00:06:06,884 --> 00:06:09,385
What are you doing, a segment
on Yo Gabba Gabba! news?
176
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,057
I am directing the video
for this year's fund-raiser.
177
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,192
Wow. That's amazing.
178
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:17,610
Who did it last year?
179
00:06:17,728 --> 00:06:20,063
What's his name? Bob Af... Affman?
180
00:06:20,197 --> 00:06:21,314
- Oh.
- Ben Affleck.
181
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,448
- Oh, Ben Affleck.
- Yeah, that's who it is.
182
00:06:22,566 --> 00:06:23,483
Of course. So hard to remember that name.
183
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:24,734
It's just a five-minute little thing.
184
00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:26,286
- It's not a big deal.
- Come on.
185
00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:27,787
- Well, it's great.
- Thanks.
186
00:06:27,905 --> 00:06:29,622
Except I won't have anyone
to make fun of the video with.
187
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:31,074
That was our favorite
part of the fund-raiser.
188
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:32,208
Oh, I know. Me too.
189
00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:33,576
Well, you can do it with Will.
190
00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:34,911
I mean, is he back from Nepal,
191
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,330
exploiting Sherpas for new material or...?
192
00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:39,966
Uh, yes, Will will be here.
193
00:06:40,084 --> 00:06:41,417
Thank you for asking. Did you ask?
194
00:06:41,552 --> 00:06:42,835
- Did I?
- I don't know.
195
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,587
I don't think I did.
196
00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:46,422
What about you? Are you going stag?
197
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:48,424
Or are you taking Aja?
198
00:06:48,559 --> 00:06:49,642
Hey, Jake?
199
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:51,060
Hey.
200
00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:52,895
Ms. Sorenson and Mr. Hunter
are ready for their interviews.
201
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,597
I'll be in in a sec.
202
00:06:56,233 --> 00:06:57,433
Uh...
203
00:06:57,568 --> 00:06:58,601
We're not gonna let it get ugly again.
204
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,019
Agreed.
205
00:07:00,154 --> 00:07:01,271
- We will work it out, right?
- Yeah.
206
00:07:01,405 --> 00:07:02,655
- We always do, yeah?
- Yeah.
207
00:07:02,773 --> 00:07:03,773
Yeah.
208
00:07:03,774 --> 00:07:04,774
What?
209
00:07:04,775 --> 00:07:06,109
Come on.
210
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,193
[laughs]
211
00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:08,558
First time we've ever high-fived.
212
00:07:08,612 --> 00:07:10,663
[laughing] Sorry.
213
00:07:12,783 --> 00:07:16,452
I am so sorry I am tardy.
214
00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:18,037
Was it a shopping emergency?
215
00:07:18,122 --> 00:07:21,291
Yeah, I needed a little retail
therapy to calm my nerves.
216
00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:23,259
Are you stress-shopping about Beech?
217
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:26,679
No, these are options
for my partnership review.
218
00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:27,880
Oh, right.
219
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:28,965
Beech is the last thing on my mind.
220
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:30,183
I'm a queen of the clean break.
221
00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:31,301
[laughs]
222
00:07:31,302 --> 00:07:32,302
Which brings me to our business...
223
00:07:32,436 --> 00:07:33,636
Tomorrow's meeting.
224
00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:35,471
Okay. Rolling with the subject change.
225
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,474
It is the biggie...
Final division of assets.
226
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:39,525
Once that's settled, we write it,
227
00:07:39,643 --> 00:07:40,526
you sign it... [clicks tongue]
228
00:07:40,644 --> 00:07:41,811
Divorce is done.
229
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:43,313
Well, Jake and I are in a
really great place right now,
230
00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:45,031
so I think it's gonna be a smooth sail.
231
00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:46,783
I wanted to talk to you
about changing some terms.
232
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,151
What terms?
233
00:07:48,285 --> 00:07:50,445
Well, Jake is working now,
so the equation has changed.
234
00:07:50,487 --> 00:07:52,205
We'll still split assets 50-50.
235
00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:54,824
But alimony, it's up for grabs now.
236
00:07:54,992 --> 00:07:56,626
But, uh...
237
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:59,212
that's not what we agreed upon.
238
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:00,747
I mean, uh...
239
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:01,881
he'll go ballistic.
240
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:06,135
Honey, Jake is a grown man with a job.
241
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:09,005
You have no idea how those
alimony payments weigh on you.
242
00:08:09,173 --> 00:08:10,757
No, I do, every day,
243
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:13,509
like an 800-pound gorilla
sitting on my chest,
244
00:08:13,644 --> 00:08:15,511
but, um...
245
00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:17,597
I made a promise,
246
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,183
and I-I don't... I just
don't want to to fight anymore.
247
00:08:20,317 --> 00:08:21,818
You feel that way right now.
248
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,353
But think about a year from now,
249
00:08:23,487 --> 00:08:25,738
when Jake's off shooting some hot new show,
250
00:08:25,856 --> 00:08:27,357
raking in the network cash,
251
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,525
buying love with fancy gifts for his kids
252
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,027
and the new kid he's dating,
253
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,911
and you're still paying
that 10 grand a month.
254
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,364
He's just getting back on his feet.
255
00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:35,948
Yeah, well, so are you.
256
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,367
And you will sweat every paycheck
257
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,252
because you'll be strapped,
258
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,703
not to mention all
gray, rooty, and wrinkled
259
00:08:40,838 --> 00:08:41,871
because you can't afford maintenance.
260
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:42,955
Oh, wow.
261
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,708
Abby, it is fair and worth the fight.
262
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,343
Now, this is the last battle.
263
00:08:47,428 --> 00:08:50,012
You got to prepare for it to get bloody.
264
00:08:56,692 --> 00:08:58,193
Oh, my God, that's disgusting.
265
00:08:58,277 --> 00:08:59,361
The heater in the dishwasher sucks.
266
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,495
It left everything wet.
267
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:02,030
Then use a towel.
268
00:09:02,165 --> 00:09:04,199
Here.
269
00:09:04,333 --> 00:09:05,450
Thank you.
270
00:09:05,585 --> 00:09:07,385
Mom, Taylor just invited
me to go to the Grove
271
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,621
with a bunch of girls when
you're at the fund-raiser.
272
00:09:09,755 --> 00:09:12,040
Can I maybe get off babysitting Charlie?
273
00:09:12,175 --> 00:09:13,875
I'll... I'll ask Rosa to watch him.
274
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,294
Maybe Zooey can come along?
275
00:09:16,429 --> 00:09:19,181
Yeah, well, I just...
276
00:09:19,298 --> 00:09:22,851
I don't know if she'd fit
in with the other girls
277
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:25,770
Lilly.
278
00:09:25,805 --> 00:09:28,056
What?
279
00:09:28,224 --> 00:09:31,309
Come on, sweetie, let's...
Let's go fold some laundry.
280
00:09:31,394 --> 00:09:32,444
Come on.
281
00:09:33,729 --> 00:09:35,063
What just happened here?
282
00:09:35,198 --> 00:09:37,899
You two seemed to be getting
along so well at Thanksgiving.
283
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,035
That doesn't mean she's my friend.
284
00:09:40,169 --> 00:09:42,537
It's not my job to help her
285
00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:45,574
just 'cause her parents
are getting divorced.
286
00:09:45,708 --> 00:09:48,326
No one helped me.
287
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:51,796
Honey.
288
00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:52,914
Okay, Zooey...
289
00:09:52,915 --> 00:09:56,218
Zooey is in a new state...
290
00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:57,586
at a new school.
291
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,421
The situation with her father is a mess.
292
00:09:59,505 --> 00:10:02,307
You care more about her feelings than mine.
293
00:10:02,425 --> 00:10:04,426
I see you guys talking, like, all the time.
294
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:06,011
Because she talks to me.
295
00:10:06,095 --> 00:10:07,762
All I get from you are eye rolls.
296
00:10:07,897 --> 00:10:09,764
I'm sorry she's so perfect
and I'm such a nightmare.
297
00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:12,067
Hey, hey, hey. I never said that.
298
00:10:12,151 --> 00:10:13,435
Come on.
299
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,520
And you and Jo talk and laugh all the time.
300
00:10:15,655 --> 00:10:17,105
- She gets me.
- Good.
301
00:10:17,273 --> 00:10:20,108
Maybe it's not too late for
you guys to switch babies.
302
00:10:25,364 --> 00:10:26,364
[knock at door]
303
00:10:26,365 --> 00:10:28,033
Mm-hmm.
304
00:10:28,117 --> 00:10:29,117
Good time, bad time?
305
00:10:29,118 --> 00:10:30,418
Hey, come on in.
306
00:10:30,503 --> 00:10:33,371
I was just working on my "dare
to be great" memo for my review.
307
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,006
God, that Cynthia Plum case...
308
00:10:35,124 --> 00:10:36,625
Remember when I found out
her husband was doing cocaine
309
00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:37,869
breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
310
00:10:37,927 --> 00:10:41,129
I carved out $500,000 for
misappropriation of funds.
311
00:10:41,264 --> 00:10:43,548
Oh, that was fun!
312
00:10:43,683 --> 00:10:46,301
[chuckles]
313
00:10:46,385 --> 00:10:47,852
Sorry, Albert.
314
00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:48,970
What's up?
315
00:10:48,971 --> 00:10:51,973
You and Beech. [clears throat]
316
00:10:52,141 --> 00:10:54,476
You ended on good terms, right?
317
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,778
Of course.
318
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:59,016
He said he was bringing the
rest of his business to us
319
00:10:59,065 --> 00:11:01,066
once the new company was founded.
320
00:11:01,150 --> 00:11:04,286
But I just found out that
he's going with O'Melveny.
321
00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,654
He's switching firms?
322
00:11:05,788 --> 00:11:07,238
Yep.
323
00:11:07,323 --> 00:11:09,243
That's a multimillion-dollar
billing loss for us.
324
00:11:09,292 --> 00:11:11,960
God damn it.
325
00:11:12,044 --> 00:11:13,924
Albert, is this gonna
affect my bid for partner?
326
00:11:13,963 --> 00:11:15,130
With Beech in your book,
327
00:11:15,247 --> 00:11:17,087
you waltz into your
review looking like a hero.
328
00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:19,467
Without him, not so much.
329
00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:21,336
Shit.
330
00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:22,971
I'm gonna try for a Hail Mary.
331
00:11:23,089 --> 00:11:24,923
Beech has agreed to dinner tonight.
332
00:11:25,057 --> 00:11:26,675
You're coming with.
333
00:11:26,809 --> 00:11:30,011
Wear something devastating
and work your magic.
334
00:11:32,431 --> 00:11:35,100
You got it. [chuckles]
335
00:11:35,184 --> 00:11:37,102
I will devastate. [chuckles]
336
00:11:37,236 --> 00:11:38,603
Good.
337
00:11:40,856 --> 00:11:43,692
[door opens]
338
00:11:43,859 --> 00:11:45,694
[Phoebe gasps]
339
00:11:45,828 --> 00:11:47,662
Oh, my...
340
00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:49,864
That looks incredible.
341
00:11:50,032 --> 00:11:52,334
I love how the lapels are skinny,
342
00:11:52,451 --> 00:11:54,786
but they're not rock-star skinny.
343
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,871
It's perfect.
344
00:11:56,956 --> 00:11:58,873
- It's very Dick Tracy.
- Ah.
345
00:11:59,008 --> 00:12:01,793
Now you just need a trench coat and a hat.
346
00:12:01,927 --> 00:12:03,461
What do you think?
347
00:12:06,882 --> 00:12:10,051
I think two grand is a lot of
bucks to spend on a costume.
348
00:12:10,186 --> 00:12:11,219
- It's not just for that.
- Wow.
349
00:12:11,303 --> 00:12:13,555
You need a good suit for investor meetings
350
00:12:13,723 --> 00:12:14,889
or if we go somewhere nice.
351
00:12:15,024 --> 00:12:18,026
Yeah, I'm more of a
Levi's, Hanes kind of guy.
352
00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:19,978
It's a gift, Marco.
353
00:12:20,112 --> 00:12:21,896
Let me get you a present.
354
00:12:21,981 --> 00:12:23,481
Why is it so important to you?
355
00:12:23,616 --> 00:12:26,317
- Who you trying to impress?
- No, I'm not.
356
00:12:26,402 --> 00:12:27,986
I'm not.
357
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,738
I just...
358
00:12:29,822 --> 00:12:31,239
- I have money.
- Mm.
359
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:33,241
And I wanted to get you something nice.
360
00:12:33,376 --> 00:12:34,626
I've had nice things.
361
00:12:34,744 --> 00:12:37,128
I didn't just climb my way out of Compton.
362
00:12:37,246 --> 00:12:39,164
I know, I know, I know.
363
00:12:39,248 --> 00:12:40,248
My parents had good jobs.
364
00:12:40,332 --> 00:12:41,583
I grew up in Baldwin Hills.
365
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:43,267
I know that's probably the ghetto to you.
366
00:12:43,419 --> 00:12:44,419
- No.
- But I assure you,
367
00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:46,171
there's, you know, paved sidewalks.
368
00:12:46,305 --> 00:12:47,305
I'm sorry.
369
00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:50,592
I was talking out of my ass.
370
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:54,229
This is not gonna work if you don't see me.
371
00:12:54,346 --> 00:12:56,431
Does that mean you're
not gonna come with me?
372
00:12:56,515 --> 00:12:58,516
No, I am going to come to your fund-raiser.
373
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:02,103
I'll just wear my own clothes.
374
00:13:02,238 --> 00:13:04,773
I got to go to work.
375
00:13:04,907 --> 00:13:06,107
(Cheryl) Clippers tickets
376
00:13:06,242 --> 00:13:07,942
and a Chris Paul autographed basketball...
377
00:13:08,077 --> 00:13:09,778
Nancy Hayes is the greatest mom ever.
378
00:13:09,945 --> 00:13:12,580
Ooh, is this the Soda
Stream Gloria Serrano said
379
00:13:12,698 --> 00:13:13,698
she was going to gift?
380
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,033
[mimics game show buzzer] Guilty.
381
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,534
Right here.
382
00:13:16,669 --> 00:13:18,353
[chuckles] It's me.
383
00:13:18,454 --> 00:13:21,790
Gloria Serrano's only gift is
to anger people in two languages.
384
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:23,625
That is so true. Do you
know that she called me
385
00:13:23,709 --> 00:13:26,127
a putana after cutting me off in carpool?
386
00:13:26,228 --> 00:13:27,762
Ugh. And that's not a pasta.
387
00:13:27,847 --> 00:13:28,847
[both laughing]
388
00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:30,381
I just, oh...
389
00:13:30,516 --> 00:13:32,383
I just wish one of these baskets
390
00:13:32,518 --> 00:13:34,469
had a babysitting gift certificate.
391
00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:36,805
I'm just... I'm so screwed
for the gala, you guys.
392
00:13:36,972 --> 00:13:40,358
But I guess Zooey could stay home alone.
393
00:13:40,476 --> 00:13:43,394
Well, Taylor's going with a
bunch of girls to the Grove.
394
00:13:43,529 --> 00:13:46,281
- Huh.
- Maybe Zooey wants to come.
395
00:13:46,398 --> 00:13:48,483
Yeah. Yeah, I'll check with her.
396
00:13:48,651 --> 00:13:50,318
I'm sure she'd love to. Thank you.
397
00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:51,653
That would be great.
398
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,289
Hey, Jo, when are you
bringing that hamburger phone?
399
00:13:54,373 --> 00:13:56,124
That'll be a big-ticket item.
400
00:13:56,242 --> 00:13:58,209
What do you mean? I
brought everything I had.
401
00:13:58,327 --> 00:14:01,913
I'm checking the inventory,
and I don't see a phone.
402
00:14:01,997 --> 00:14:03,798
Is it possible you left it at home?
403
00:14:03,916 --> 00:14:05,300
No. No, I don't think so.
404
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:06,918
But, um...
405
00:14:07,002 --> 00:14:09,387
Well, you should definitely check.
406
00:14:09,505 --> 00:14:12,307
Oh, yeah, of course, as soon as I get back.
407
00:14:12,391 --> 00:14:16,344
I know we're close to
done, but it is necessary
408
00:14:16,428 --> 00:14:18,513
that we address your client's
change in financial status
409
00:14:18,597 --> 00:14:19,731
since our initial filings.
410
00:14:19,849 --> 00:14:21,015
Now? You got to be kidding.
411
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:22,433
(Delia) Artie, in the last four months,
412
00:14:22,518 --> 00:14:24,652
not only has Jake made
more money than he did
413
00:14:24,737 --> 00:14:26,020
for the life of the marriage,
414
00:14:26,105 --> 00:14:28,022
he is contracted for future directing work,
415
00:14:28,157 --> 00:14:30,909
which proves that he could have
contributed to the household,
416
00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:33,444
but he preferred to ride Abby's coattails.
417
00:14:33,579 --> 00:14:35,246
Oh, I never... That's not what I said.
418
00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:36,664
Here's what's on the table.
419
00:14:36,749 --> 00:14:39,501
Ms. McCarthy agrees to abide by
a 50-50 marital split of assets.
420
00:14:39,585 --> 00:14:43,004
We are asking for an absolution
of any and all alimony.
421
00:14:43,088 --> 00:14:44,368
Well, that's a total nonstarter.
422
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:45,896
Look, my client's long-term stability
423
00:14:46,041 --> 00:14:46,875
has not been established. He has...
424
00:14:47,009 --> 00:14:48,209
You know what, Artie? Artie?
425
00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:49,761
You know what? Let it go.
426
00:14:49,879 --> 00:14:51,045
It's fine. Let it go.
427
00:14:51,213 --> 00:14:52,213
[sighs]
428
00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:54,015
(Jake) Look, I started making money.
429
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:58,186
I'm taking half the marital
assets, which Abby earned.
430
00:14:58,270 --> 00:14:59,687
I think that's probably best for everyone.
431
00:14:59,772 --> 00:15:01,306
(Delia) Well, that is
really mensch-y of you, Jake.
432
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,775
Well, I'd just like to
sign it, put it behind us.
433
00:15:03,893 --> 00:15:05,193
No more acrimony.
434
00:15:05,277 --> 00:15:06,361
I think we deserve that.
435
00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:07,729
That is great.
436
00:15:07,813 --> 00:15:09,613
We will get that all
signed up and out to you.
437
00:15:09,698 --> 00:15:12,116
- Good.
- Oh, hold on.
438
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:13,618
Um...
439
00:15:13,736 --> 00:15:16,738
Thank you, Jake, for being so
magnanimous about the money.
440
00:15:16,906 --> 00:15:19,824
But, uh, there's still things
that we need to work out.
441
00:15:19,909 --> 00:15:21,543
Such as?
442
00:15:21,627 --> 00:15:23,828
Such as... sleep-away camp.
443
00:15:23,913 --> 00:15:25,997
Okay, I don't have any notes on that, Abby.
444
00:15:26,131 --> 00:15:27,999
- We had this discussion.
- Yeah, we had this discussion.
445
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:29,334
But it was never resolved.
446
00:15:29,468 --> 00:15:30,835
I don't want the kids
going away in the summer.
447
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:32,420
It cuts into my
already-limited time with them.
448
00:15:32,504 --> 00:15:34,255
Well, that's a deal breaker for me.
449
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:36,891
My... my experiences at
camp were very formative.
450
00:15:36,976 --> 00:15:38,977
- They made me who I am.
- Since when?
451
00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:40,261
So they have to go because it's the place
452
00:15:40,396 --> 00:15:41,716
where you learned to make lanyards
453
00:15:41,814 --> 00:15:43,314
and get finger-banged on the ski dock?
454
00:15:43,432 --> 00:15:44,682
That's crude.
455
00:15:44,817 --> 00:15:47,101
Sorry.
456
00:15:47,186 --> 00:15:49,437
How about they go to
sleep-away camp for four weeks?
457
00:15:49,521 --> 00:15:50,688
Camp Pontiac is eight weeks.
458
00:15:50,823 --> 00:15:51,823
Abby, this is insane.
459
00:15:51,857 --> 00:15:53,274
I'm giving you everything you want.
460
00:15:53,359 --> 00:15:54,859
Obviously not,
461
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,384
because I want them to go to Pontiac.
462
00:15:56,445 --> 00:16:00,448
Okay, let's put a pin in
this discussion and regroup.
463
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,784
(Artie) Thank you, Delia.
464
00:16:05,582 --> 00:16:06,466
[sighs]
465
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,918
I went to Camp Pontiac for eight years.
466
00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:10,169
I was Color War General.
467
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:12,839
Honey, this is not about sleep-away camp.
468
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,008
This is about separation anxiety, okay?
469
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:16,559
I know, I know.
470
00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:19,062
It gets really hard when
you finally get to the end.
471
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,179
But it's time.
472
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,848
Actually, Delia,
473
00:16:21,932 --> 00:16:23,850
camp is important.
474
00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:25,351
And I know maybe that's hard to understand
475
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:28,688
when you don't have kids.
476
00:16:28,772 --> 00:16:30,023
Sorry. I...
477
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:33,109
Abby, Jake was just
really generous in there.
478
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,411
And if you want to take
sleep-away camp to court,
479
00:16:35,529 --> 00:16:36,946
go for it.
480
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:38,448
Just be prepared to
spend a shitload of money
481
00:16:38,532 --> 00:16:40,450
in legal fees...
482
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,118
and lose.
483
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,620
[elevator bell dings]
484
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:52,595
Jo, what's happening?
485
00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:54,947
The frickin' hamburger phone disappeared,
486
00:16:55,049 --> 00:16:57,529
and now I have to face the wrath
of Cheryl and her bitch squad,
487
00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:59,452
not to mention Mr. freaking Reitman.
488
00:16:59,553 --> 00:17:01,471
Okay, calm down. I'm
sure it's here somewhere.
489
00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:02,955
Where was the last place you saw it?
490
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,390
I don't know. I don't know.
491
00:17:04,558 --> 00:17:05,942
She had a clipboard, and then
she said they didn't have it.
492
00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:08,227
And... and... it's got to be somewhere,
493
00:17:08,312 --> 00:17:10,480
but I looked everywhere.
494
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,648
Mom, what if you went on eBay
and got another phone like that?
495
00:17:12,783 --> 00:17:14,400
- Nobody would know.
- No, we don't have time.
496
00:17:14,568 --> 00:17:16,648
Not that I would ever do
that. That's very dishonest.
497
00:17:16,737 --> 00:17:18,321
I just don't want you to stress.
498
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,085
And if they're supposed to be your friends,
499
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:21,824
they'll understand.
500
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,659
You're right, you're right.
Mama's gonna pull it together.
501
00:17:23,794 --> 00:17:24,794
But on the upside,
502
00:17:24,912 --> 00:17:27,246
guess who got you an invite to the Grove
503
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:28,414
with Taylor and her crew?
504
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:29,716
- You did?
- Yeah.
505
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:30,717
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
506
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:31,801
Thanks, Mom.
507
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:34,587
- Can I have a kiss?
- Yeah.
508
00:17:34,722 --> 00:17:36,005
[grunting happily]
509
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,640
How is it that you produced
510
00:17:37,758 --> 00:17:39,438
the most well-adjusted
child on the planet,
511
00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:41,427
and I produced Angsty McSullenstein?
512
00:17:41,512 --> 00:17:44,480
Because I'm the woman whose
husband has a second family.
513
00:17:44,598 --> 00:17:45,481
You see, the cosmic muffin
514
00:17:45,599 --> 00:17:46,899
gives you what it thinks you can handle.
515
00:17:47,017 --> 00:17:47,900
- "The cosmic muffin"?
- You see? Yes.
516
00:17:48,018 --> 00:17:49,185
[cell phone chimes]
517
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:51,279
Are you looking for a
hamburger phone in a pillow?
518
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,272
[cell phone beeps]
519
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,356
_
520
00:17:55,425 --> 00:17:56,876
- Oh, no.
- What?
521
00:17:56,944 --> 00:17:59,829
- No.
- What? What? What? What? What?
522
00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:01,307
Will's plane got grounded in Nepal.
523
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:03,116
He's never gonna make it back here in time.
524
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,119
How am I supposed to be
Bonnie and Clyde without Clyde?
525
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,504
I can't believe Will's not coming.
526
00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:10,339
Jake won't speak to me
because of that fight we had.
527
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,041
I have no cover from the "momsters."
528
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,794
This is the universe telling
me that I should just stay home.
529
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,963
No, don't even. We are going, okay?
530
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,798
I already got a costume.
531
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,216
Plus, I'm the one who's gonna need cover
532
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,386
when I tell that woman that
I lost our $1,000 phone.
533
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,937
- Yes, yes, you will.
- Oh, my God.
534
00:18:25,055 --> 00:18:27,140
Okay, we will have each other's backs.
535
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:28,808
All right.
536
00:18:31,395 --> 00:18:34,230
(Albert) At our firm, we can offer
you close, personal attention.
537
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:35,948
I like personal attention.
538
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:37,984
This is a pivotal moment
for Beech Enterprises.
539
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,952
You need a team who can
strategize for your future
540
00:18:40,070 --> 00:18:42,288
and play defense too.
541
00:18:42,406 --> 00:18:43,456
It's heads-up ball playing with us.
542
00:18:43,574 --> 00:18:45,958
I like heads-up ball playing.
543
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,493
Most men do.
544
00:18:47,661 --> 00:18:48,911
What we're really talking
about here, Gordon,
545
00:18:48,996 --> 00:18:50,129
are relationships.
546
00:18:50,214 --> 00:18:51,581
I'm assuming you're talking
547
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,800
about client-attorney relationships.
548
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:56,552
And fostering them between clients.
549
00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:58,504
You know, we have an A-plus
entertainment division.
550
00:18:58,639 --> 00:19:00,556
That could mean an amazing
licensing opportunity
551
00:19:00,674 --> 00:19:01,808
with the right celebrity.
552
00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:03,259
What I'm not hearing from you guys
553
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,345
is why you have the special sauce.
554
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:07,430
You know why.
555
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:09,315
We are a leaner, meaner operation,
556
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,985
and we are always thinking of you...
557
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:15,988
which is how I saved you $10 million...
558
00:19:16,073 --> 00:19:18,274
By making your business dissolution
559
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:19,859
a property settlement.
560
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,528
Gordon, you got the divorce zero-tax basis.
561
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:25,031
Right.
562
00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:28,534
Zero-tax basis.
563
00:19:28,619 --> 00:19:30,253
Almost made it worth all the bullshit.
564
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,088
All we're saying, Gordon,
565
00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:33,589
is that you should take your time.
566
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:36,042
- It's a big decision.
- I don't need any more time.
567
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:39,212
I can make a big decision
as quickly as the next gal.
568
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,047
I hear you say you want me to stay,
569
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,465
but I'm not feeling the passion.
570
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,384
Gordon, there is a great deal
of passion for you at our firm.
571
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:47,520
Isn't that right, Delia?
572
00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:50,106
Of course.
573
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:54,110
Of course there is.
574
00:19:54,228 --> 00:19:56,646
Good effort, team. I'm not buying it.
575
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,981
Please have all my records
transferred over to O'Melveny
576
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:00,116
in the morning.
577
00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:02,869
Thank you very much for dinner.
578
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:05,404
(Albert) Well, that was a goddamn shitshow.
579
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,460
- Here you are, sir.
- Thank you.
580
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,829
- You're welcome.
- Gordon?
581
00:20:15,332 --> 00:20:16,382
Why are you doing this?
582
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,134
I thought our meeting was over.
583
00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:21,387
I know that I didn't handle
things between us very...
584
00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:22,922
very elegantly,
585
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:26,893
but that doesn't mean that
we can't be professionals.
586
00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:29,061
Delia...
587
00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:30,813
you broke my goddamn heart.
588
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,648
You expect me to sit here
589
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:35,985
and listen to you talk about my tax basis?
590
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:37,770
That was insensitive.
591
00:20:37,905 --> 00:20:39,438
What's happened to you?
592
00:20:39,573 --> 00:20:42,191
Look, I'm a divorce attorney, okay?
593
00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:43,659
I see it all the time.
594
00:20:43,777 --> 00:20:47,613
Love turns to contempt and
betrayal and abandonment.
595
00:20:47,698 --> 00:20:50,249
Sometimes.
596
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:53,419
That's not the only story.
597
00:20:53,537 --> 00:20:55,838
It's the only story that I know.
598
00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,175
I can see that.
599
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:04,847
So that's it for you, huh?
600
00:21:04,965 --> 00:21:06,716
You're a one-woman operation.
601
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:12,438
That's a goddamn waste of life.
602
00:21:14,308 --> 00:21:16,692
[engine turning over, revs]
603
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:18,894
[tires squealing]
604
00:21:25,579 --> 00:21:27,747
[door opens]
605
00:21:27,831 --> 00:21:31,167
[laughing]
606
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,961
- That is awesome.
- Mm-hmm.
607
00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:41,100
How chivalrous of you.
608
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:43,218
Hey, I know better than
to mess with an angry chick
609
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:44,220
with a samurai sword.
610
00:21:44,271 --> 00:21:46,055
[laughs]
611
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:49,392
Okay, um...
612
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:51,894
I just want to make sure we're cool.
613
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,396
You were right about the suit.
614
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,563
I should have talked to you
615
00:21:54,698 --> 00:21:56,232
before I spent that kind of money.
616
00:21:56,366 --> 00:21:58,567
You don't have to buy me presents.
617
00:21:58,702 --> 00:21:59,902
You're my windfall.
618
00:22:00,037 --> 00:22:04,373
It wasn't your background
I was trying to make up for.
619
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:07,827
I am trailer trash, Marco.
620
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:10,830
My parents grew weed, and
they moved around all the time,
621
00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:14,050
and they were more than
happy to ship me off
622
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:17,303
when I got a modeling agency.
623
00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,671
How old were you?
624
00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:21,757
- I was 14.
- Damn.
625
00:22:21,892 --> 00:22:25,561
I think spending money is
626
00:22:25,645 --> 00:22:28,314
a way for me to shut my mind off
627
00:22:28,432 --> 00:22:30,766
and make me feel like I am somebody.
628
00:22:30,901 --> 00:22:32,184
You are somebody.
629
00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:33,569
And you know you're smart.
630
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:36,439
I mean, look at all the work
you've done for Homegrown.
631
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,075
I don't have a high-school diploma, Marco.
632
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:42,745
Never let a piece of
paper define who you are.
633
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,531
I don't.
634
00:22:45,615 --> 00:22:48,534
Thank you.
635
00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:51,454
So you still up for making
fun of over-educated people
636
00:22:51,621 --> 00:22:53,255
dressed up in stupid costumes?
637
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,957
Hell, yes.
638
00:22:55,092 --> 00:22:56,542
Yeah, all right, get in the car.
639
00:22:56,676 --> 00:22:59,545
[Le1f's Wut playing]
640
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:06,936
641
00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:08,871
You gonna hide back here all night,
642
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:10,272
or are you gonna let Kristi and Cheryl know
643
00:23:10,357 --> 00:23:11,357
that you lost the phone?
644
00:23:11,358 --> 00:23:13,859
I'm gonna hid here all night.
645
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:15,895
Too late. They just saw us.
646
00:23:15,979 --> 00:23:18,531
Um, get some liquid courage,
647
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:19,688
and then I will see you...
648
00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:20,733
Don't you freaking dare.
649
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,652
Martha Stewart, look at you.
650
00:23:23,787 --> 00:23:24,787
- Wow.
- Come on.
651
00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:26,181
Where'd you get the ankle bracelet?
652
00:23:26,239 --> 00:23:27,239
That is genius.
653
00:23:27,290 --> 00:23:28,290
That is really.
654
00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:29,825
- So clever.
- Fargo, come on.
655
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:30,993
You betcha.
656
00:23:31,128 --> 00:23:33,746
- I thought you looked bigger.
- For sure.
657
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:35,164
So who are you?
658
00:23:35,332 --> 00:23:36,499
Oh.
659
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:38,467
Bonnie of Bonnie and Clyde.
660
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:39,919
My Clyde got held up.
661
00:23:40,053 --> 00:23:42,171
[laughing]
662
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,224
So what's with the phone?
663
00:23:45,342 --> 00:23:46,675
- The what?
- The phone.
664
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,511
- The hamburger phone.
- Oh, my gosh, the hamburger...
665
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,062
Oh, the hamburger phone. Oh, I'm so sorry.
666
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:52,181
I meant to tell you. It
turns out that Reitman...
667
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:53,599
He had to take it back.
668
00:23:53,733 --> 00:23:56,018
He needed it for, uh,
a Juno retrospective...
669
00:23:56,153 --> 00:23:57,153
At AFI.
670
00:23:57,154 --> 00:23:58,154
At AFI, thank you.
671
00:23:58,238 --> 00:23:59,655
And we were out when
he came over to get it.
672
00:23:59,739 --> 00:24:01,357
- Yeah.
- And her housekeeper...
673
00:24:01,491 --> 00:24:02,691
- Housekeeper, Rosa.
- Forgot to mention it to us
674
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:04,360
because she's not a fan
of abortion-related movies.
675
00:24:04,494 --> 00:24:05,361
- She hates them.
- She's from Guatemala.
676
00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:08,164
She's Catholic.
677
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:11,654
I can't believe he did that.
678
00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:14,503
Oh, just such a bunch of bullshit.
679
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:17,540
It really is.
680
00:24:17,674 --> 00:24:18,757
Have fun tonight.
681
00:24:18,875 --> 00:24:21,260
Thanks.
682
00:24:21,378 --> 00:24:23,045
Oh, God, why didn't I think of an ankle...
683
00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:24,180
That's so clever.
684
00:24:24,264 --> 00:24:25,464
I'm shameful.
685
00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:26,882
Say nothing.
686
00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:27,967
You know what? Screw them.
687
00:24:27,968 --> 00:24:29,552
They have so much stuff here.
688
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:32,188
Oh, diamonds.
689
00:24:32,272 --> 00:24:33,973
Stop fondling and admiring.
690
00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:35,691
- Put in a bid.
- No, I can't.
691
00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,109
Don't be ridiculous.
692
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:38,394
- It's too much.
- Come on, treat yourself.
693
00:24:38,528 --> 00:24:40,980
Okay, meanwhile, I'm gonna
go check on my spa package.
694
00:24:41,064 --> 00:24:42,147
Saw a little whore there, hovering.
695
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,232
Hey.
696
00:24:43,316 --> 00:24:45,150
Literally. She was
dressed like Heidi Fleiss.
697
00:24:45,285 --> 00:24:47,236
- Heidi Fleiss was a pimp.
- Oh, that's right.
698
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:54,793
699
00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,128
You're not bidding on diamonds, are you?
700
00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,463
Those are so...
701
00:24:57,581 --> 00:24:59,798
[laughs]
702
00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:03,335
You know, you're probably
bidding on summer camps, right?
703
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:05,387
I'm sorry.
704
00:25:05,472 --> 00:25:06,922
I'm so sorry about what happened.
705
00:25:07,057 --> 00:25:08,090
You were being so reasonable and...
706
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:09,391
No, no, no. You know what? You know what?
707
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:11,069
Let's... let's just let it go for tonight.
708
00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:12,595
Okay? I do not...
709
00:25:12,729 --> 00:25:14,813
Let's not make this night weird.
710
00:25:14,931 --> 00:25:16,315
Where's Clyde?
711
00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:19,101
Clyde... He got stuck in Nepal.
712
00:25:19,185 --> 00:25:21,403
Too bad. [claps hands]
713
00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,772
[humming]
714
00:25:23,907 --> 00:25:26,191
[laughs] You look good doing that.
715
00:25:26,326 --> 00:25:28,577
There you are, Jake.
716
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:29,945
Okay if I steal him for a sec?
717
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:31,413
Uh, yes.
718
00:25:31,531 --> 00:25:33,449
- We are about to screen.
- Okay.
719
00:25:33,617 --> 00:25:35,857
Okay, when you talk about
this, and I know that you will,
720
00:25:35,869 --> 00:25:37,419
be kind, okay?
721
00:25:37,504 --> 00:25:38,587
Okay.
722
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:39,788
Here we go.
723
00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:42,007
Oof!
724
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,682
Screw it.
725
00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:56,639
One bid.
726
00:25:59,276 --> 00:26:02,895
(Phoebe) Okay, we got to
use these stupid stickers.
727
00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:06,065
Dude, dig the Trayvon. [laughs]
728
00:26:06,199 --> 00:26:07,983
Righteous.
729
00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:10,536
Oh, my God.
730
00:26:10,654 --> 00:26:12,871
I am so sorry.
731
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:14,490
See, who needs a costume?
732
00:26:14,624 --> 00:26:16,492
Black man in a hoodie... Nothing scarier.
733
00:26:16,576 --> 00:26:17,660
I am so sorry.
734
00:26:17,794 --> 00:26:18,954
- Wow.
- That is unacceptable.
735
00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,355
I didn't have the heart to tell him
736
00:26:20,380 --> 00:26:21,497
I'm actually Eddie Murphy
in Beverly Hills Cop.
737
00:26:21,581 --> 00:26:23,716
[laughs]
738
00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:29,054
That's a hot photo.
739
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:32,174
- It kind of looks like you.
- It's not.
740
00:26:32,342 --> 00:26:34,677
Holds up well, doesn't it?
741
00:26:34,811 --> 00:26:36,095
Hi, Kori.
742
00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:41,016
It's okay.
743
00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:43,519
See you inside.
744
00:26:49,159 --> 00:26:50,526
That was frosty.
745
00:26:50,694 --> 00:26:52,161
[beeping]
746
00:26:52,245 --> 00:26:55,497
I think we should go.
Movie's about to start.
747
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:58,701
[applause]
748
00:27:04,207 --> 00:27:06,875
Mickey Cohen and Bernie Madoff.
749
00:27:07,043 --> 00:27:09,762
Well, this table's not good for the Jews.
750
00:27:09,879 --> 00:27:12,131
If you'll all take your seats,
we've got a special treat
751
00:27:12,215 --> 00:27:15,184
prepared by this year's
director, Jake Novak,
752
00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:17,386
who's put together this treasure of a film
753
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,304
about your precious children.
754
00:27:19,439 --> 00:27:23,108
Especially the children of
the richest and most famous.
755
00:27:23,226 --> 00:27:25,978
[applause]
756
00:27:26,062 --> 00:27:27,742
[Katie Herzig's We're All In This Together]
757
00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:30,983
We're all in this together
758
00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:34,620
Through the thick and thin
759
00:27:34,738 --> 00:27:38,574
We're all in this together
760
00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:39,742
Aah!
761
00:27:39,909 --> 00:27:41,794
[laughter]
762
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:44,413
In the light of day
763
00:27:44,547 --> 00:27:46,832
There's always a place
764
00:27:46,916 --> 00:27:49,385
What does a progressive
education mean to you?
765
00:27:49,469 --> 00:27:50,803
I'm learning about the world
766
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,471
through an integrated curriculum.
767
00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:55,257
Need the best of us
768
00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:56,425
I don't believe that was English,
769
00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:58,093
but here at the Center
for Expanding Horizons,
770
00:27:58,261 --> 00:27:59,094
you can learn what that means.
771
00:27:59,262 --> 00:28:00,763
[laughter]
772
00:28:00,897 --> 00:28:03,899
What does a progressive
education mean to you?
773
00:28:04,017 --> 00:28:06,402
That we're not... anti-gressive?
774
00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:08,654
[laughter]
775
00:28:08,772 --> 00:28:13,442
We're all in this together
776
00:28:13,610 --> 00:28:15,110
What's the best part about school?
777
00:28:15,278 --> 00:28:16,412
Reading festival.
778
00:28:16,529 --> 00:28:18,280
We plant our own gardens.
779
00:28:18,415 --> 00:28:20,449
On the darkest nights
780
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:22,284
Um...
781
00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:25,337
[laughter]
782
00:28:25,455 --> 00:28:28,257
Pay up, folks.
783
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:29,792
Tell us about your project.
784
00:28:29,926 --> 00:28:31,710
My name is Charlie.
785
00:28:31,845 --> 00:28:34,630
My favorite person is my mom.
786
00:28:34,798 --> 00:28:37,299
We like to share things together.
787
00:28:37,467 --> 00:28:40,102
I think she's special because she's my mom.
788
00:28:40,220 --> 00:28:41,470
Do do do do do
789
00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:43,158
(Jake) Very nice. You want to put it up?
790
00:28:43,273 --> 00:28:44,690
Do do do do do
791
00:28:44,808 --> 00:28:45,808
Say "hi, Mom."
792
00:28:45,809 --> 00:28:46,975
Hi, Mom.
793
00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:48,227
Give a lot of money to the school.
794
00:28:48,311 --> 00:28:50,112
[Charlie laughs]
795
00:28:50,230 --> 00:28:52,981
[children giggling]
796
00:28:56,236 --> 00:28:57,653
[applause]
797
00:28:57,787 --> 00:29:00,205
Wow, I didn't think Jake-off had it in him.
798
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:01,490
- You all right?
- Yeah.
799
00:29:01,624 --> 00:29:04,326
[cheers and applause]
800
00:29:09,466 --> 00:29:11,667
[sighs]
801
00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:17,506
[exhales sharply]
802
00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:44,700
[blowing nose]
803
00:30:01,551 --> 00:30:02,384
Stop!
804
00:30:02,519 --> 00:30:03,519
Stop?
805
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:04,520
Yes.
806
00:30:04,521 --> 00:30:05,888
I can bid on whatever I want.
807
00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:07,890
If you touch that bid sheet again,
808
00:30:08,024 --> 00:30:10,442
I will take it very personally.
809
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,810
Excuse me?
810
00:30:11,895 --> 00:30:13,395
[scoffs] Is that a threat?
811
00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:14,599
That is a statement, Cheryl.
812
00:30:14,614 --> 00:30:17,149
I am so sick of your mean-girl thing.
813
00:30:17,283 --> 00:30:18,984
It's like you get off
814
00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:21,486
on trying to make me feel like an outsider.
815
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:22,571
Oh, please.
816
00:30:22,739 --> 00:30:24,373
Back off.
817
00:30:24,457 --> 00:30:27,075
This is my necklace.
818
00:30:27,210 --> 00:30:29,211
I never got a 40th-birthday bauble.
819
00:30:29,329 --> 00:30:32,414
Never got a 10th-anniversary bauble.
820
00:30:32,549 --> 00:30:34,299
This is mine.
821
00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:35,751
Back off my bauble.
822
00:30:35,919 --> 00:30:38,470
Hey. Everything okay here?
823
00:30:38,588 --> 00:30:40,708
It's fine. It's my necklace,
and Tracy Flick over here
824
00:30:40,807 --> 00:30:42,591
is just bidding on it to spite me.
825
00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:44,977
Okay, you have some serious issues.
826
00:30:45,094 --> 00:30:46,595
Yes, and I'm not working on them.
827
00:30:46,729 --> 00:30:49,398
Okay, hey, let's go for a walk. Come on.
828
00:30:53,019 --> 00:30:54,319
What was that about?
829
00:30:54,437 --> 00:30:56,905
[sighs] I don't know.
830
00:30:57,023 --> 00:31:00,609
It's just coming here by myself,
831
00:31:00,743 --> 00:31:02,611
when I'm the pariah
832
00:31:02,779 --> 00:31:04,246
and you're the toast of the town...
833
00:31:04,330 --> 00:31:05,447
You're smoking now?
834
00:31:05,582 --> 00:31:07,449
Which, by the way, you totally deserve.
835
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:10,786
I'm not saying... that video
was... It was really good.
836
00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:13,121
Yes, you seem thrilled for me. Thank you.
837
00:31:13,206 --> 00:31:16,091
No, seeing you so happy,
838
00:31:16,175 --> 00:31:18,293
showing your talent,
839
00:31:18,461 --> 00:31:20,462
I just... I don't know. I...
840
00:31:20,597 --> 00:31:21,797
What?
841
00:31:21,931 --> 00:31:24,266
It's terrible. It's not even worth saying.
842
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,602
I can take it. What?
843
00:31:26,686 --> 00:31:29,554
[clears throat]
844
00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:31,023
Why now?
845
00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:34,776
Why are you coming into your own now?
846
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:38,480
Was I such a monster that you
couldn't be yourself with me?
847
00:31:38,648 --> 00:31:41,233
I mean, I know it's not
that simple, but I see you,
848
00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:42,701
and I...
849
00:31:42,819 --> 00:31:45,203
I mean, I always knew that you
could do whatever you wanted.
850
00:31:45,321 --> 00:31:47,739
Always. And now here you are...
851
00:31:47,874 --> 00:31:49,324
I'm so...
852
00:31:49,492 --> 00:31:50,542
I'm so jealous.
853
00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:52,220
I'm so jealous of whoever gets you next,
854
00:31:52,245 --> 00:31:55,797
because, I mean, I was in the trenches
855
00:31:55,915 --> 00:31:57,916
doing all that hard stuff,
856
00:31:58,051 --> 00:32:02,004
and whoever gets you next
is just gonna get the win.
857
00:32:02,138 --> 00:32:03,388
Wow. Get the win.
858
00:32:03,506 --> 00:32:05,674
- You know what I mean.
- I don't, actually.
859
00:32:05,758 --> 00:32:08,176
Because you know what I
think is happening here?
860
00:32:08,311 --> 00:32:13,315
I'm getting a tiny taste of what
you've gotten you whole career.
861
00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:15,434
And you can't be happy for me,
862
00:32:15,518 --> 00:32:17,769
because it's all about you,
863
00:32:17,854 --> 00:32:20,022
and maybe if weren't,
864
00:32:20,156 --> 00:32:21,857
then some of these good things
would have happened for me
865
00:32:21,991 --> 00:32:25,360
a long time ago.
866
00:32:25,495 --> 00:32:26,945
(Jo) Abby, Jesus, there you are.
867
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:27,946
I've been looking all over for you.
868
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:29,081
We got to go now.
869
00:32:29,082 --> 00:32:30,615
- What? Why?
- It's Zooey.
870
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:31,700
Is she okay? Is she hurt?
871
00:32:31,751 --> 00:32:33,251
No, no, she got arrested. Come on.
872
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:35,170
Arrested? Are you kidding?
873
00:32:35,254 --> 00:32:36,654
- Okay.
- Come on, come on, come on.
874
00:32:36,673 --> 00:32:37,673
I'll drive.
875
00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:39,257
Polluting. I'm not a polluter.
876
00:32:39,375 --> 00:32:41,543
(Jo) Oh, come on, please.
877
00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:45,255
[applause]
878
00:32:45,422 --> 00:32:48,474
Okay, can we raise the air conditioning up
879
00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:50,143
for this next item?
880
00:32:50,261 --> 00:32:52,512
This super-hot art photograph
881
00:32:52,646 --> 00:32:55,431
was donated by the acclaimed
photographer herself,
882
00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:56,816
Kori Wingo.
883
00:32:56,934 --> 00:32:58,268
[applause]
884
00:32:58,402 --> 00:33:00,570
Let's start at $2,000.
885
00:33:00,688 --> 00:33:02,438
We've got $2,000.
886
00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:04,440
Do I hear $2,500?
887
00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:06,859
We've got $2,500.
888
00:33:06,994 --> 00:33:08,278
Looking for $3,000.
889
00:33:08,412 --> 00:33:12,115
$3,000 to the stone fox at table seven.
890
00:33:12,199 --> 00:33:15,001
Who's forking up $3,500? Yeah.
891
00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:18,504
Okay, who's gonna give me $5,000?
892
00:33:18,622 --> 00:33:20,373
Yeah!
893
00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:21,457
You don't need this.
894
00:33:21,592 --> 00:33:22,625
I know what I'm doing.
895
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,040
All right, come on, big daddies,
896
00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:25,929
who's gonna bring me to $6,000?
897
00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:27,597
That's what I'm talking about.
898
00:33:27,715 --> 00:33:28,715
Do I hear $7,000?
899
00:33:28,766 --> 00:33:30,767
- Phoebe, what are you doing?
- Stop.
900
00:33:30,851 --> 00:33:31,768
$7,000. Who'll make it $8,000?
901
00:33:31,852 --> 00:33:34,103
We have $8,000!
902
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:36,940
Okay, whoever gives me $10,000 right now
903
00:33:37,024 --> 00:33:38,864
can spank me with their
paddle when we're done.
904
00:33:38,976 --> 00:33:40,226
[laughter]
905
00:33:40,361 --> 00:33:42,478
Going once, twice...
906
00:33:42,613 --> 00:33:45,481
Sold! Hot mama takes it down.
907
00:33:45,649 --> 00:33:48,034
Save your paddle. I will find you later.
908
00:33:50,738 --> 00:33:52,238
What was that about?
909
00:33:52,323 --> 00:33:54,407
You just said that picture was okay,
910
00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,042
and then you go and you blow ten grand?
911
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:57,560
Don't tell me how to spend my money.
912
00:33:57,578 --> 00:33:59,329
- I'm not telling you...
- It's for the school, Marco.
913
00:33:59,463 --> 00:34:00,496
- I'm just asking...
- Stop, stop.
914
00:34:00,631 --> 00:34:02,298
Stop asking. Stop with the questions.
915
00:34:02,383 --> 00:34:03,416
Stop with the harassing.
916
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:04,884
- I'm harassing you now?
- Yes.
917
00:34:05,002 --> 00:34:06,970
You know what? I can't do this.
918
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:09,138
This is not gonna work.
919
00:34:09,223 --> 00:34:11,007
It's not just the money.
920
00:34:11,175 --> 00:34:13,926
There are so many ways
921
00:34:14,061 --> 00:34:17,263
I'm gonna disappoint you, Marco.
922
00:34:17,348 --> 00:34:19,849
I just can't live up to your expectations.
923
00:34:21,318 --> 00:34:23,186
(Jo) Bunch of bureaucratic bullshit,
924
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,600
making us pay for all this crap.
925
00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:25,655
We didn't have a choice.
926
00:34:25,739 --> 00:34:27,824
Forcing Zooey to attend
theft education classes.
927
00:34:27,908 --> 00:34:29,192
Jesus Christ!
928
00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:30,860
We didn't pay for it, they
wouldn't have released her.
929
00:34:30,995 --> 00:34:32,912
Well, maybe they would have if
you'd spoken up for yourself.
930
00:34:33,030 --> 00:34:34,497
We know you're not a shoplifter.
931
00:34:34,581 --> 00:34:36,532
Who you trying to protect, huh?
932
00:34:36,667 --> 00:34:37,700
Lilly, did you talk her into this?
933
00:34:37,835 --> 00:34:40,203
Hey, excuse me.
934
00:34:40,371 --> 00:34:42,051
Lilly should be thanked for not leaving her
935
00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:43,256
like the other girls did.
936
00:34:43,374 --> 00:34:44,841
All I'm saying is, we
don't have all the facts.
937
00:34:44,925 --> 00:34:46,709
Mom, Lilly didn't do anything.
938
00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:47,914
Someone did something, okay?
939
00:34:48,012 --> 00:34:51,214
Because I just spent $372
940
00:34:51,348 --> 00:34:53,966
paying for some other
kid's teenage rebellion.
941
00:34:54,051 --> 00:34:55,685
Okay? Who steals bras?
942
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:58,721
Can't you just... ?
943
00:34:58,856 --> 00:35:00,807
Forget it.
944
00:35:00,891 --> 00:35:02,275
Sweetie...
945
00:35:02,393 --> 00:35:05,144
It's totally normal to want to be popular.
946
00:35:05,229 --> 00:35:08,197
Okay? But it's not worth it.
947
00:35:08,282 --> 00:35:10,650
Whoever you're trying to
protect, you got to tell me.
948
00:35:12,202 --> 00:35:14,320
One of you has to tell me.
949
00:35:18,826 --> 00:35:20,660
[crying]
950
00:35:20,794 --> 00:35:22,128
Okay, Jo, we're gonna
pick this up tomorrow.
951
00:35:22,246 --> 00:35:23,880
All right.
952
00:35:23,997 --> 00:35:25,548
Girls, you should get to bed.
953
00:35:25,632 --> 00:35:26,632
Come on, Zooey.
954
00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:28,584
It's okay.
955
00:35:32,556 --> 00:35:35,425
[Free by Rudimental]
956
00:35:35,559 --> 00:35:40,229
957
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:44,400
I don't do yoga,
never tried Pilates
958
00:35:44,518 --> 00:35:48,938
Not many people want
me at their parties
959
00:35:49,106 --> 00:35:51,607
Trying to find my place, someplace
960
00:35:51,692 --> 00:35:53,776
Oh, I, oh, I
961
00:35:53,944 --> 00:35:54,994
Oh, I
962
00:35:55,112 --> 00:35:57,613
963
00:35:57,748 --> 00:36:01,784
I drink a little
more than recommended
964
00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:06,289
This world ain't exactly
what my heart expected
965
00:36:06,423 --> 00:36:08,958
Trying to find my way, some way
966
00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,427
Oh, I, oh, I
967
00:36:11,512 --> 00:36:12,628
Oh I
968
00:36:12,763 --> 00:36:13,846
969
00:36:13,964 --> 00:36:17,934
Oh, c'est la vie
970
00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:22,555
Maybe something's wrong with me
971
00:36:22,689 --> 00:36:24,474
But oh
972
00:36:24,641 --> 00:36:27,110
At least I am free
973
00:36:31,482 --> 00:36:35,368
Yeah, oh, c'est la vie
974
00:36:35,486 --> 00:36:39,872
And maybe something's wrong with me
975
00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:43,743
But, hey, at least
976
00:36:43,877 --> 00:36:45,211
I am free
977
00:36:45,329 --> 00:36:47,797
Oh, I am free
978
00:36:47,915 --> 00:36:50,082
979
00:36:50,167 --> 00:36:54,003
If you ask the Church,
then I'm no believer
980
00:36:54,138 --> 00:36:55,588
Spend Sundays asleep
981
00:36:55,722 --> 00:36:58,591
I'm just another dreamer
982
00:36:58,675 --> 00:37:01,561
Still trying to find
my home, sweet home
983
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:03,763
Oh, I, oh I
984
00:37:03,847 --> 00:37:05,898
Oh I
985
00:37:06,016 --> 00:37:07,683
Oh, I, oh I
986
00:37:07,851 --> 00:37:09,352
Oh, I
987
00:37:30,530 --> 00:37:31,530
Hey.
988
00:37:31,614 --> 00:37:33,032
Hey.
989
00:37:33,116 --> 00:37:35,200
About Beech...
990
00:37:35,335 --> 00:37:37,953
Look, I totally get it. The guy's a nut.
991
00:37:38,038 --> 00:37:41,040
No wonder Courtney couldn't
stay married to him.
992
00:37:41,174 --> 00:37:42,708
Yeah.
993
00:37:42,842 --> 00:37:43,876
You know, I have to say,
994
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,545
I still have a kind of
fondness for the man,
995
00:37:46,629 --> 00:37:50,382
because I love all of our clients.
996
00:37:50,517 --> 00:37:52,217
Wait. No.
997
00:37:52,352 --> 00:37:53,552
Beech?
998
00:37:53,636 --> 00:37:57,222
Whatever you said to him out
there obviously did the trick.
999
00:37:57,307 --> 00:37:59,808
Congratulations, Ms. Banai.
1000
00:37:59,893 --> 00:38:02,444
The road to partnership
is now elegantly paved.
1001
00:38:02,562 --> 00:38:04,446
Albert...
1002
00:38:04,564 --> 00:38:05,614
thank you.
1003
00:38:05,732 --> 00:38:07,900
Thank you.
1004
00:38:08,034 --> 00:38:10,152
Nice flowers, by the way.
1005
00:38:17,961 --> 00:38:18,961
Huh.
1006
00:38:24,584 --> 00:38:25,918
[scoffs]
1007
00:38:33,593 --> 00:38:35,677
[sighs]
1008
00:38:35,812 --> 00:38:37,479
Ooh.
1009
00:38:37,597 --> 00:38:40,065
[doorbell rings]
1010
00:38:40,183 --> 00:38:41,734
I'm coming down, Will!
1011
00:38:49,776 --> 00:38:52,027
[chuckles]
1012
00:38:52,112 --> 00:38:54,696
Can I come in for a minute?
1013
00:38:54,831 --> 00:38:56,915
Yeah.
1014
00:38:58,952 --> 00:39:00,869
[Jake clears throat] Oh, um...
1015
00:39:00,954 --> 00:39:02,204
Lilly texted me
1016
00:39:02,288 --> 00:39:04,540
about what happened with Zooey.
1017
00:39:04,624 --> 00:39:05,874
That's...
1018
00:39:06,009 --> 00:39:09,128
Yeah, uh, we haven't
gotten the whole story yet.
1019
00:39:09,212 --> 00:39:11,013
She clammed up.
1020
00:39:11,131 --> 00:39:12,214
[clears throat]
1021
00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:17,686
Jake, um...
1022
00:39:17,804 --> 00:39:20,806
Will's flight landed 45 minutes ago,
1023
00:39:20,890 --> 00:39:23,025
and he's on his way over here, so...
1024
00:39:23,143 --> 00:39:25,861
Oh, okay. I'll make it quick.
1025
00:39:25,979 --> 00:39:27,646
Uh...
1026
00:39:27,814 --> 00:39:29,148
we're getting divorced.
1027
00:39:29,232 --> 00:39:31,733
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1028
00:39:31,818 --> 00:39:33,619
For real now.
1029
00:39:33,736 --> 00:39:36,622
You think you're spinning
out a little bit maybe?
1030
00:39:36,706 --> 00:39:37,823
Possibly.
1031
00:39:37,957 --> 00:39:40,075
Okay.
1032
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,161
I mean, the whole camp thing is very...
1033
00:39:42,295 --> 00:39:43,962
- Just forget about it.
- Mm-hmm.
1034
00:39:44,047 --> 00:39:45,631
Just, uh... I mean, they
don't have to go all summer.
1035
00:39:45,748 --> 00:39:47,633
- Oh, my God.
- [both laughing]
1036
00:39:51,671 --> 00:39:53,839
I said some things last
night I feel really bad about.
1037
00:39:54,007 --> 00:39:55,174
No. Uh-uh.
1038
00:39:55,308 --> 00:39:56,425
- No, I'm not...
- I feel so awful about it.
1039
00:39:56,559 --> 00:40:00,729
No, I'm not... I'm going with my bad.
1040
00:40:00,847 --> 00:40:01,847
But you...
1041
00:40:01,848 --> 00:40:04,433
Abby, you never got in my way.
1042
00:40:04,567 --> 00:40:06,351
I did.
1043
00:40:06,486 --> 00:40:08,487
You know, us splitting was
a huge wake-up call for me,
1044
00:40:08,605 --> 00:40:11,356
and I finally got my
head out of my ass, but...
1045
00:40:11,524 --> 00:40:12,884
I totally get what you were saying.
1046
00:40:13,026 --> 00:40:14,910
- You do?
- Yeah.
1047
00:40:22,202 --> 00:40:24,870
[sighs]
1048
00:40:25,004 --> 00:40:28,540
You supported me in a lot of ways
1049
00:40:28,675 --> 00:40:32,211
for a long time, and it occurred to me
1050
00:40:32,378 --> 00:40:36,882
that I never actually thanked you for that.
1051
00:40:44,724 --> 00:40:46,275
[chuckles]
1052
00:40:46,392 --> 00:40:47,976
Oh, my God.
1053
00:40:48,111 --> 00:40:51,446
Beat that bitch Cheryl
out, just under the wire.
1054
00:40:51,564 --> 00:40:54,566
- Was she pissed?
- She was so pissed.
1055
00:40:56,069 --> 00:40:58,954
- Will you... ?
- Oh, good, yeah.
1056
00:40:59,072 --> 00:41:01,957
[Shallows by Daughter]
1057
00:41:02,075 --> 00:41:07,579
1058
00:41:07,747 --> 00:41:09,631
- Here, here.
- Yeah.
1059
00:41:12,335 --> 00:41:16,054
I always wanted to buy you something nice.
1060
00:41:16,172 --> 00:41:22,227
1061
00:41:22,345 --> 00:41:23,595
Sorry it took so long.
1062
00:41:23,730 --> 00:41:27,266
Let the water rise
1063
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,852
1064
00:41:30,937 --> 00:41:35,407
Let the ground crack
1065
00:41:35,491 --> 00:41:37,192
Is this a divorce present?
1066
00:41:37,327 --> 00:41:40,829
[chuckles] Kind of.
1067
00:41:45,418 --> 00:41:47,869
Lying on my back
1068
00:41:47,954 --> 00:41:49,922
[doorbell rings]
1069
00:41:50,039 --> 00:41:51,290
- Wow. That's Will.
- [laughs]
1070
00:41:51,424 --> 00:41:54,092
- Yeah.
- Um...
1071
00:41:54,177 --> 00:41:55,794
I'm gonna go out the side gate.
1072
00:41:55,878 --> 00:41:59,181
- Okay.
- Okay.
1073
00:41:59,299 --> 00:42:01,133
Jake.
1074
00:42:01,267 --> 00:42:03,302
Dry your smoke-stung eyes
1075
00:42:03,436 --> 00:42:05,103
Thank you.
1076
00:42:05,188 --> 00:42:06,855
It looks beautiful on you.
1077
00:42:06,973 --> 00:42:09,107
1078
00:42:09,225 --> 00:42:13,695
So you can see the light
1079
00:42:13,813 --> 00:42:17,199
[gate opens, closes]
1080
00:42:17,317 --> 00:42:20,369
[doorbell rings]
1081
00:42:20,486 --> 00:42:23,372
[knock at door]
1082
00:42:23,396 --> 00:42:25,596
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
1083
00:42:25,646 --> 00:42:30,196
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
75042
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