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Yesterday two teenagers reported seeing
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this elderly gentlemen
disintegrate before their eyes
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- into a pile of dust and bones.
- Dust and bones?
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Sounds to me like a classic case
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of teen one-upsmanship.
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"Oh, hey. I made out with
this girl last night."
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"Oh, really? I made out with
a girl last night, too.
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"And some old man
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"disintegrated right in front of us."
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- Are you done, Leroy?
- Yes, I am.
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We tested the bones and identified
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the man as Dan Brewster.
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Now, here's where it gets interesting.
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This was Dan one week ago.
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He was 25 years old.
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- What?
- [COMPUTER CHIMES]
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- Barry, did you just like his photo?
- Mm-hmm.
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One last like for my main man Dan.
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So, a person aging decades
in a matter of days.
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Is it just a severe case of progeria?
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I mean, have you ever seen
anything like this before?
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No, we have never seen anything like it.
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MAX: Sorry, Leroy.
Uh, progeria is a disease
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where the cells in the body go through
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their life cycle at an accelerated rate.
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You think you're the only one
who knows what progeria means?
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We've all seen Benjamin Buttons, bro.
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Well, actually, Benjamin
Buttons is just the opposite.
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- So, rewind it.
- What?
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What are we, watching it on
a VCR? What's going on?
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What's wrong with VCR?
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- You have a VCR?
- Yeah.
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- What movies do you have?
- I got all the Rockys. Uh-huh.
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- Rockys? The Rocky movies?
- Yeah.
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- Do you have Rocky I?
- Mm-hmm.
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- II? III?
- Yeah. Yeah.
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- IV?
- Mm-hmm.
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- V? Rocky Balboa?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
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- Creed? Sweet.
- Yeah.
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Before he died, Dan was a caddie
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at the Copper Glen Country Club.
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That's where he was last seen alive.
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Now, he caddied for this gentleman,
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Stafford Yates, who is the wealthy CEO
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of Vaia Pharmaceuticals.
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They concentrate their research
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on the area of antiaging.
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So, this Yates person wants to do
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fountain-of-youth testing
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by kidnapping human guinea pigs?
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Maybe. That's what we're gonna find out.
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You two are going undercover
at the country club.
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I want you to track Stafford Yates.
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Find out what he knows about
Brewster's disappearance.
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Oh, and, uh, one more thing.
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You're using two separate covers.
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One of you is a member.
The other is a caddie.
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BOTH: Member.
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- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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? ?
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Okay, how about this?
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How about we take
turns carrying the clubs?
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Max, you're the caddie.
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The caddie carries clubs.
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Well, yeah, traditionally.
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But, I mean, how about we develop
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a new kind of caddie...
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Golf boss relationship?
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Hey, you're lucky. You got off easy.
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I'm the one who got
stuck with the hard job.
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Traipsing around as one of
these upper-class jerks.
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- Rich people are the worst.
- Leroy, listen, you're gonna have
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to keep an open mind, okay?
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I mean, some of these
people are perfectly lovely.
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For instance, I have a rich uncle.
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Uncle Petey. He was the best.
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He had this huge house, right?
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Have us come over,
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let us trim the hedges, let us rake
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up the leaves into these giant piles.
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He'd-he'd let us push
the lawn mowers around.
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I mean, it was a special time.
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You were an unpaid child gardener.
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What?
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Stafford? Stafford Yates?
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Ha! It really is you.
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As I live and breathe.
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Do I know you?
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You wish. Leroy Wright.
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- What's up?
- How's it going?
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I go way back with Kurt Downing.
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When I told him I was moving
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my import-export business
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- to town for taxes...
- [ALL LAUGH]
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he told me about this
second-rate pigsty.
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Figured I'd come check it out.
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[CHUCKLES] Okay.
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Well, this is Campbell McMasters.
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- He's the president of the club.
- Hey-oh.
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Kurt's been a great friend
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- of this "second-rate pigsty."
- [ALL LAUGH]
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LEROY: Hey, Yates.
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You gonna hit the ball,
or have you gone blind
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staring at Campbell's idiotic watch?
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[ALL LAUGH]
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Golf bosses. Bunch of windbags, right?
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Rather hang with my boys.
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- Oh, is that me?
- Yeah, big-time.
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- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
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Hey, you caddie for Stafford, right?
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- What's he like?
- He's fine.
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- I mean, I barely know him.
- Same.
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Same. Yeah, yeah. No, I-I don't know
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that guy. We're not best friends.
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There aren't any songs
that remind me of him.
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Right.
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Hey. Uh, do you have any
advice for the new guy?
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Yeah. Don't work here.
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What do you mean?
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There's a really high
turnover for caddies here.
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Some of them kind of...
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Disappear.
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- What are you talking about?
- Shh.
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Not here.
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You mean, like, no talking at all? Or...
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- Shh.
- Tell you what, the feds
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are all up my ass over
these African gazelles
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I want to bring over here.
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Regulations are killing me.
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I killed one of those.
They're beautiful.
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But I hear you on the regulations.
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Damn FDA.
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Used to be all over us at Vaia.
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How is the pharmaceutical game?
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[LAUGHING]: What?
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You think they let him work
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at a pharmaceutical company?
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah, I got kicked
off the board about a year ago
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for making a porno in my office.
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They called me "grossly incompetent."
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I'm like, "No, I'm not. You are!"
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Killer comeback.
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[LAUGHING]: Yeah, I'm that good.
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Okay.
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Pretty good strike.
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- Sliced it.
- I did.
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- It's not a tomato, Yates.
- [CHUCKLES]
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How am I gonna get that in the bushes?
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CAMPBELL: That's what
a caddie's for, isn't it?
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STAFFORD: Man, I hate this game.
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- CAMPBELL: Come on, caddie.
- Sorry.
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It turns out that another caddie
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disappeared from Copper
Glen a few years ago.
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A pattern emerges.
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You know, I used to belong to
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one of these places growing up.
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These people are literally the worst.
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I would not be surprised if
they're actually running
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these tests on these kids.
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Wait, so you're rich? But last weekend
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you said you couldn't afford
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to do karaoke with me and my roomies.
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Okay, last time I did
karaoke with you guys,
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Miriam told me that if I
couldn't hit a high "C,"
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then I shouldn't bother
trying to sing Mariah.
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Here's what I want to know:
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how rich are we talking?
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Plane or boat?
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? Helicopter... ?
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Okay, sorry, just...
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Maybe Miriam was right.
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[WHISPERING]: Helicopter?
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All right, I'll catch up
with you losers later.
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- All right.
- I got to tip my caddie.
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Sometimes I give mine extra
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to do a little dance. Caddie?
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- Uh-oh.
- Oh...
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- Come on, now.
- [LAUGHS] - Man, don't do it.
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- Here we go.
- Ricky, don't.
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Hold the line. Just don't do it.
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- [CHANTING]: Dance, dance.
- Here we go.
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- Dance, dance.
- Here we go.
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00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:51,882
- Dance, dance, dance.
- Here we go.
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00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:53,550
[ALL CHEER, LAUGH]
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- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Oh, there it is.
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00:05:56,893 --> 00:05:58,526
It's gonna get away from you.
It's gonna get away from you.
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- There you go.
- Yeah.
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Come on, come on.
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00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,393
There you go. There you go. [CHUCKLES]
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[ALL LAUGH]
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LEROY: Top-notch, Stafford.
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Nothing funnier than
destroying a man's dignity.
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00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:11,900
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- My caddie's so stupid,
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he thinks NASDAQ is a rapper.
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00:06:14,138 --> 00:06:15,532
[LAUGHTER]
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00:06:15,639 --> 00:06:18,540
He thinks Waterford Crystal
is a stripper from Connecticut.
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Look at him. I think he actually does
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00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:22,878
- think that.
- He does! Look at his face.
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He still wears his wedding ring,
and his wife ran out on him...
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00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,112
- Twice!
- CAMPBELL: Wait, wait. Same wife?
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00:06:27,118 --> 00:06:28,717
LEROY: You think he could
afford a second one?
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00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:31,053
- [ALL LAUGH]
- All right. Be good.
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00:06:31,155 --> 00:06:32,421
Take care, guys.
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00:06:32,523 --> 00:06:34,256
[LAUGHTER]
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00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:36,558
STAFFORD: Oh, that's sad.
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00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:38,560
- Hey, man.
- Hey, buddy.
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00:06:38,759 --> 00:06:40,125
Getting a little personal
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00:06:40,131 --> 00:06:41,730
with the roast battle
there, don't you think?
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00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:42,969
Dude, we're undercover.
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Okay.
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00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:48,504
I mean... maybe I was wrong.
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00:06:48,510 --> 00:06:50,009
Rich guys are terrible.
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00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:52,508
Maybe, but Stafford's
definitely not our guy.
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He's way, way too dumb
to be a mad scientist.
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00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:56,969
Okay, well, something is up,
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00:06:56,975 --> 00:06:58,554
because Ricky was freaked out.
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00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,655
He was like...
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00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,751
He wanted you to
spoon-feed him applesauce?
219
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:05,123
No, he was scared. That's
a scared face. He's like...
220
00:07:05,129 --> 00:07:08,184
- This is a scared face.
- Oh.
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00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:09,556
You're actually right.
That's super good.
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00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,228
[HORN HONKING]
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00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:12,699
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- Look out!
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00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:14,625
Oh, my God.
225
00:07:14,899 --> 00:07:16,404
[LEG SNAPS]
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00:07:16,823 --> 00:07:18,341
Honest mistake.
227
00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:21,367
Um, what's up with Campbell?
228
00:07:21,806 --> 00:07:26,009
There's walking it off,
and there's walking it off.
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00:07:26,695 --> 00:07:28,484
And his leg, it just...
230
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:31,050
It bent back into place again.
231
00:07:31,056 --> 00:07:32,923
I can't emphasize how messed up it is,
232
00:07:33,025 --> 00:07:34,925
like a movie I can't stop watching.
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00:07:35,027 --> 00:07:37,027
I just want the movie to end.
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00:07:37,033 --> 00:07:38,699
MAX: Okay, so, the old man...
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00:07:38,705 --> 00:07:40,793
The one that disintegrated
in front of the teenagers...
236
00:07:40,799 --> 00:07:42,532
If he was indeed rapidly aging,
237
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:45,602
all that energy must
have gone somewhere.
238
00:07:45,704 --> 00:07:47,498
And if Campbell can heal
239
00:07:47,504 --> 00:07:49,745
just as quickly, it suggests
240
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,050
some sort of transfer.
241
00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:52,672
- Maybe.
- LAFREY: Well, it certainly
242
00:07:52,678 --> 00:07:54,580
doesn't sound like a coincidence.
243
00:07:54,586 --> 00:07:56,052
You know what it does sound like?
244
00:07:57,196 --> 00:07:58,916
The Cronos machine.
245
00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:01,147
Right?
246
00:08:01,153 --> 00:08:02,185
What?
247
00:08:03,318 --> 00:08:05,051
Cronos machine.
248
00:08:05,308 --> 00:08:07,490
Do you seriously not know
what a Cronos machine is?
249
00:08:07,496 --> 00:08:08,558
[MOUTHS]
250
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:10,627
Okay, well...
251
00:08:13,032 --> 00:08:14,637
There are ancient legends
252
00:08:14,643 --> 00:08:16,438
in South American folklore
253
00:08:16,535 --> 00:08:18,068
of the Cronos machine,
254
00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,918
designed to perfect and
heal the human body.
255
00:08:20,924 --> 00:08:22,774
Only problem was, they were built
256
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:25,201
within sacred trees with powers
257
00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:28,585
of invincibility but also evil.
258
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,201
Their ultimate goal: immortality.
259
00:08:31,498 --> 00:08:33,683
You saying "cronuts" machine?
260
00:08:33,786 --> 00:08:36,186
Cronos machine. It's an
immortality machine.
261
00:08:36,288 --> 00:08:38,789
The donut with the
croissant, it's a hybrid.
262
00:08:38,795 --> 00:08:40,186
- Man, there ain't no Cronos...
- LAFREY: All right,
263
00:08:40,192 --> 00:08:42,626
Leroy, there's a party
at Copper Glen tonight.
264
00:08:42,728 --> 00:08:44,428
You're going to attend. Once you're in,
265
00:08:44,530 --> 00:08:46,930
break off, and find out whatever
you can about this Campbell guy,
266
00:08:47,032 --> 00:08:48,632
- so nobody else gets hurt.
- Got it.
267
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:50,100
LAFREY: Annie, you're gonna go
268
00:08:50,202 --> 00:08:52,198
as his wife, all right?
You know the terrain,
269
00:08:52,204 --> 00:08:53,944
and you can blend in
with the rich crowd.
270
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,782
- Ooh, I bet she will.
- LAFREY: Max,
271
00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:57,616
- you'll be going as a waiter.
- MAX: Oh, great.
272
00:08:57,622 --> 00:09:00,089
I guess, uh, instead
of passing out clubs,
273
00:09:00,095 --> 00:09:02,629
I'll be passing out club sandwiches.
274
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:07,233
No, do you... I...
275
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:09,587
- Do you get it, 'cause...
- Yes, everyone got it.
276
00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:11,370
It's not hard to get. Let's go to work.
277
00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,342
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
278
00:09:14,088 --> 00:09:15,564
CAMPBELL: Leroy.
279
00:09:15,977 --> 00:09:17,969
Please, I want you to meet
280
00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:20,273
the love of my life, Monica.
281
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:22,304
- LEROY: Charmed.
- Well...
282
00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:25,106
And you must be Chantreuse, yes?
283
00:09:25,209 --> 00:09:27,742
- Chantreuse. Okay.
- [LEROY CHUCKLES]
284
00:09:27,748 --> 00:09:28,977
- And, Campbell...
- Mm-hmm?
285
00:09:29,079 --> 00:09:31,179
- Ugly watch, as always.
- [ANNIE LAUGHS]
286
00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:33,315
- Tease him about his watch, honey.
- Oh, I like it.
287
00:09:33,417 --> 00:09:35,183
Doesn't seem like you're
overcompensating at all.
288
00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:36,547
- [LAUGHS]
- LEROY: That's my girl.
289
00:09:36,553 --> 00:09:37,897
Oh. Oh, I like her.
290
00:09:37,903 --> 00:09:40,355
I love her. I love you.
291
00:09:40,361 --> 00:09:42,361
Oh, well, let's go chat.
292
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:43,733
Let the boys be boys.
293
00:09:44,027 --> 00:09:46,194
- I spy a dessert tray.
- Ooh.
294
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:48,908
[SINGSONGY]: Lemon bars.
295
00:09:48,914 --> 00:09:50,265
Tuna tartare, anyone?
296
00:09:50,582 --> 00:09:52,081
Excuse me, um...
297
00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:55,203
Gee, but... where do I know you from?
298
00:09:55,305 --> 00:09:56,805
Um...
299
00:09:57,003 --> 00:09:59,136
No, I don't think... I'm
one of three triplets...
300
00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:01,843
Wait a minute. Well, no, no.
Now I remember. Yes, yes.
301
00:10:01,849 --> 00:10:03,541
You're the waiter I'm gonna have fired
302
00:10:03,547 --> 00:10:05,180
the next time he interrupts me.
303
00:10:05,282 --> 00:10:07,015
Right, of course.
Yes, I'm so sorry, sir.
304
00:10:07,117 --> 00:10:09,251
[CHUCKLES] Get out of here, stupid.
305
00:10:10,821 --> 00:10:12,263
But will Campbell even notice
306
00:10:12,269 --> 00:10:14,270
that I look great in this dress?
307
00:10:14,276 --> 00:10:15,286
Of course not.
308
00:10:15,292 --> 00:10:17,626
- Mm.
- He's probably off
309
00:10:17,728 --> 00:10:19,567
in the secret room doing
310
00:10:19,573 --> 00:10:21,334
the P90X or whatever.
311
00:10:21,431 --> 00:10:24,065
[CHUCKLES] I'm sorry, what was that?
312
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,401
Mm. P90X.
313
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,352
It's an exercise routine
314
00:10:28,358 --> 00:10:30,243
popularized by Paul Ryan...
315
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:31,872
No, I'm sorry, just before that,
316
00:10:31,878 --> 00:10:33,313
you were saying something...
317
00:10:33,319 --> 00:10:35,152
There's-there's a secret room?
318
00:10:35,158 --> 00:10:37,846
Mm. Yeah. It's downstairs.
319
00:10:38,296 --> 00:10:40,348
I'm not allowed in it, of course.
320
00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:43,184
[� LA CAMPBELL]:
"You belong in three rooms:"
321
00:10:43,287 --> 00:10:46,338
"the kitchen, the bedroom,
and the doll room."
322
00:10:47,324 --> 00:10:49,224
Uh, we can't have children,
323
00:10:49,326 --> 00:10:53,268
so I just have a room full of 300 dolls.
324
00:10:53,997 --> 00:10:56,331
[CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY]
325
00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:59,243
[QUIETLY]: Leroy, there's
a secret room downstairs.
326
00:10:59,249 --> 00:11:01,050
- I'm coming towards you.
- ... my factories for multiple
327
00:11:01,056 --> 00:11:02,576
human rights violations,
328
00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:05,249
but the important thing is
we were never convicted.
329
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,528
That's the important thing.
330
00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:10,074
- Hello, men. We're back!
- Hello!
331
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,901
Honey, did you know that
332
00:11:11,907 --> 00:11:13,878
Chartreuse has children?
333
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:16,357
Real ones, not the kind with the
334
00:11:16,363 --> 00:11:18,524
glass eyes and the stuffing.
335
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:19,789
Excuse me. I...
336
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,864
- Have to use the little boys' room.
- Oh.
337
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,135
Excuse me.
338
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:25,805
Keep Campbell occupied.
339
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,442
I'm gonna slip into the members area
340
00:11:27,448 --> 00:11:29,122
downstairs and see what I can find.
341
00:11:30,477 --> 00:11:32,645
MAX [OVER COMM]: Hey, it's Max.
Leroy, this sounds like
342
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:34,313
a great plan. Side note, we should use
343
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,819
these new comm devices all the time.
344
00:11:35,921 --> 00:11:37,554
They're super cool. Over.
345
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:40,498
Max, stay off the comm
unless it's for the mission.
346
00:11:40,504 --> 00:11:43,291
- And you don't need to say "over."
- Copy that.
347
00:11:43,297 --> 00:11:45,474
I'll do "mout" instead of "over," okay?
348
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:46,713
- Mout.
- "Mout"?
349
00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:48,943
Yeah, it's a combination
of "Max" and "out,"
350
00:11:48,949 --> 00:11:51,450
so you'll know it's me. Mout.
351
00:11:51,456 --> 00:11:53,047
I don't like it. Sounds
too much like "mouth."
352
00:11:53,149 --> 00:11:54,549
- Don't do it.
- ANNIE: Guys, stop.
353
00:11:54,651 --> 00:11:56,885
We're just gonna use "over." Over.
354
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,183
Okay, well, that's what I
initially wanted, so great.
355
00:11:59,189 --> 00:12:01,348
Mout. I mean, over. Sorry.
356
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:03,654
I've got something
downstairs in the cellar
357
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,827
- you are gonna love.
- [ANNIE CHUCKLES]
358
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,499
- $20,000.
- Oh!
359
00:12:07,697 --> 00:12:09,998
Well, no, no. You don't
need to get it right now.
360
00:12:10,004 --> 00:12:13,022
Just... just get me a cheap
box of Pinot greesh, I'm good.
361
00:12:13,028 --> 00:12:15,213
- Right?
- Right? You get it.
362
00:12:15,284 --> 00:12:18,506
- I get it.
- She gets it. I am obsessed with her.
363
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:21,109
You are my spirit animal.
364
00:12:21,211 --> 00:12:23,611
- Oh, but do go get the $20,000 bottle.
- Mm.
365
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:26,218
Oh, no, it's fine.
Please don't. It's okay.
366
00:12:26,224 --> 00:12:28,558
Hey, Campbell is headed
downstairs towards Leroy.
367
00:12:28,564 --> 00:12:30,197
- Max, we got to stop him.
- Okay.
368
00:12:30,203 --> 00:12:32,136
With pleasure.
369
00:12:32,622 --> 00:12:35,857
- Oh, no! I am... so sorry.
- [GASPING]
370
00:12:35,863 --> 00:12:39,159
- You stupid idiot!
- Oh, my God. Here you go.
371
00:12:39,165 --> 00:12:41,304
Wait a minute! I remember you.
372
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:42,852
You're not just a lousy waiter.
373
00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:44,632
You're a lousy caddie, aren't you?
374
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,966
Security, come and get this guy!
375
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,942
Well, you're just a rich
butthead who cheats at golf!
376
00:12:50,044 --> 00:12:51,844
- I don't cheat at golf.
- Yeah, you do!
377
00:12:51,946 --> 00:12:53,512
I do not. He gave me that putt!
378
00:12:53,615 --> 00:12:54,947
That was for Ricky!
379
00:12:55,253 --> 00:12:58,555
Up with the caddies! Down with the rich!
380
00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:01,450
Abort, Leroy, abort.
I'm so sorry. I couldn't hold him.
381
00:13:01,456 --> 00:13:04,190
Mout. I mean, over. God.
382
00:13:04,912 --> 00:13:07,237
Guys, I've got pictures of Campbell
383
00:13:07,243 --> 00:13:08,727
from tons of different eras.
384
00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:10,368
It's like the guy's been alive for...
385
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,174
Hundreds of years.
386
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:14,115
- [STATIC]
- Guys?
387
00:13:17,523 --> 00:13:19,823
- [LINE RINGING]
- BARRY: Leroy.
388
00:13:19,926 --> 00:13:22,055
Barry, some freaky stuff is going on.
389
00:13:22,061 --> 00:13:23,394
I'm gonna send you some photos.
390
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,183
Um, it'll be my honor, Leroy.
391
00:13:25,189 --> 00:13:27,189
While you're on the phone,
I just wanted to say I did
392
00:13:27,195 --> 00:13:29,095
a little bit of research into your name,
393
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:32,164
and it turns out that
"Leroy" means "the k..."
394
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:33,197
[BEEP]
395
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,426
[DIAL TONE]
396
00:13:34,528 --> 00:13:36,762
Yes, I'll be your friend, Leroy!
397
00:13:36,864 --> 00:13:38,664
[CHUCKLES]
398
00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,859
Silly. He j... he just had to ask.
399
00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:43,653
So, I mean, I told him that
he, like, cheats at golf,
400
00:13:43,659 --> 00:13:45,969
which I think, for these guys,
is a pretty sick burn, so...
401
00:13:45,975 --> 00:13:48,669
- Yeah! Yes. Well done.
- Yeah?
402
00:13:48,675 --> 00:13:49,908
- Yeah? Really?
- Totally.
403
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:51,343
- Yeah. [LAUGHS]
- Okay, good.
404
00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:53,016
Good, good, good, good, good.
405
00:13:53,214 --> 00:13:55,315
- Oh...
- What?
406
00:13:55,321 --> 00:13:56,370
Nothing. I just...
407
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,595
I just noticed you don't
have on your wedding ring.
408
00:13:59,427 --> 00:14:01,627
- Not that you should or you shouldn't.
- Yeah, no, I...
409
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,898
- I just... Noticing.
- Yeah.
410
00:14:02,904 --> 00:14:04,879
I didn't think it was right
for my waiter character,
411
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:08,086
- so... You know, undercover and stuff.
- ... Mm. Mm-hmm.
412
00:14:11,966 --> 00:14:15,264
I mean, also, my wife did
slam my head against a table
413
00:14:15,301 --> 00:14:17,868
and tell me not to look for her.
414
00:14:21,629 --> 00:14:23,983
But mostly it was a character choice.
415
00:14:24,569 --> 00:14:26,011
Makes sense.
416
00:14:26,018 --> 00:14:27,510
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
417
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,716
- Well, yeah.
- All right. Boom.
418
00:14:29,722 --> 00:14:31,355
[BOTH LAUGH]
419
00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:41,140
Damn, Campbell.
420
00:14:41,484 --> 00:14:43,670
What are you, some kind of vampire?
421
00:14:44,442 --> 00:14:45,942
Barry, have you spoken to Leroy?
422
00:14:45,948 --> 00:14:47,921
Uh, yes, many times.
423
00:14:47,927 --> 00:14:49,522
In the six weeks that I've known him,
424
00:14:49,528 --> 00:14:51,151
we've spoken together every day.
425
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,064
Recently, Barry, recently.
426
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,105
Have you spoken to him?
We can't get him on the comm.
427
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,242
Oh, yes.
428
00:14:56,248 --> 00:14:58,846
- He sent over some photos.
- What photos?
429
00:14:58,852 --> 00:15:00,926
Well, I'll send them over now.
430
00:15:01,319 --> 00:15:03,019
What? No.
431
00:15:03,025 --> 00:15:04,825
Not "Barry's Sweet Vacay Pics."
432
00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:07,192
Um, oh, stop it.
433
00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:08,594
What are you doing?
434
00:15:08,662 --> 00:15:10,933
- What's going on, Barry?
- Uh, sorry.
435
00:15:10,939 --> 00:15:13,187
Th-The program's just a bit buggy.
436
00:15:13,334 --> 00:15:16,068
- Spring break! Spring break!
- [WHOOPING]
437
00:15:16,170 --> 00:15:18,244
- Oh, my g... oh, geez.
- Horny bitches!
438
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,438
Just... can we...?
439
00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:21,239
[WHOOPING AND SHOUTING]
440
00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,770
- [MURMURING]
- Get your hand... Get... stop it.
441
00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,776
Horny bitches!
442
00:15:24,993 --> 00:15:27,536
LAFREY: We've confirmed
that's Campbell in both photos.
443
00:15:28,315 --> 00:15:30,482
Horny bitches.
444
00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:33,012
So if that's true,
445
00:15:33,018 --> 00:15:35,232
that would mean that
Campbell's at least...
446
00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:37,728
150 years old.
447
00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:40,133
I mean, he doesn't look a day over 65.
448
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:43,032
Let me see it again.
449
00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:44,744
Annie, there's something else here.
450
00:15:44,996 --> 00:15:46,362
Oh, no.
451
00:15:47,445 --> 00:15:48,777
We got to get back inside.
452
00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,469
Okay, but I just got
kicked out of there.
453
00:15:50,537 --> 00:15:52,371
I mean, how am I gonna get back in?
454
00:16:02,078 --> 00:16:04,783
Thought you had me, didn't you?
455
00:16:04,852 --> 00:16:06,963
But, as it turns out,
456
00:16:06,969 --> 00:16:08,435
I had you.
457
00:16:08,756 --> 00:16:10,088
What is this?
458
00:16:10,157 --> 00:16:11,432
What the hell are you doing?
459
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:12,486
Leroy,
460
00:16:12,492 --> 00:16:14,822
I am a very well-connected man.
461
00:16:14,828 --> 00:16:16,595
You must have known
that I would discover
462
00:16:16,697 --> 00:16:19,698
that you're a 15-year
veteran of the LAPD.
463
00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:21,972
You don't get to be 180
464
00:16:21,978 --> 00:16:24,508
years old by being dumb.
465
00:16:24,571 --> 00:16:26,204
And now, Leroy,
466
00:16:26,273 --> 00:16:28,507
time to have a little blood drawn.
467
00:16:28,575 --> 00:16:31,043
Unbelievable. So it's totally
fine that I come in now,
468
00:16:31,111 --> 00:16:33,367
because I'm with a rich
person. It's disgusting.
469
00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:34,880
Well, whatever. You love it.
470
00:16:34,948 --> 00:16:37,516
Well, yeah, I mean, in this
situation it's very helpful.
471
00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:38,946
Okay, so how do we find Leroy?
472
00:16:38,952 --> 00:16:40,551
I mean, it's a secret room.
473
00:16:40,557 --> 00:16:41,853
It's a secret.
474
00:16:41,922 --> 00:16:43,422
Oh, I will find it.
475
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,323
Believe me, I know these places.
476
00:16:45,359 --> 00:16:46,681
There's always an item
477
00:16:46,687 --> 00:16:48,489
that reveals a secret door.
478
00:16:49,914 --> 00:16:53,482
Like an oddly placed wall sconce.
479
00:16:56,879 --> 00:17:00,214
Or the wall sconce is just
a poor design choice.
480
00:17:01,746 --> 00:17:03,341
LEROY: What are you doing?
481
00:17:03,347 --> 00:17:06,011
Oh, relax. I'm just
prepping the machine.
482
00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:07,879
LEROY: The chair's the machine?
483
00:17:07,915 --> 00:17:09,881
Am I sitting in some
damn cronuts device?
484
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:11,917
Cro-nos. Cronos.
485
00:17:11,985 --> 00:17:13,919
And since you're familiar
with it, well, then,
486
00:17:13,987 --> 00:17:15,854
you already know that it's your blood
487
00:17:15,923 --> 00:17:17,856
that's gonna keep me young and pretty.
488
00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:20,358
Campbell, I'm a very unhealthy eater.
489
00:17:20,427 --> 00:17:22,153
My go-to breakfast
is a block of cheddar.
490
00:17:22,159 --> 00:17:24,362
- Mm-hmm.
- I just bite right into it like an apple.
491
00:17:24,431 --> 00:17:26,765
Lunch is a bucket of bacon
and a stick of butter.
492
00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:28,103
Damn it, Campbell,
493
00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:30,443
if you Cronos me, I will beat your ass.
494
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,316
- Do you hear me?
- CAMPBELL: Mmm.
495
00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:35,400
Stop Cronosizing me,
you crazy, ancient idiot!
496
00:17:35,742 --> 00:17:37,708
[LEROY SCREAMS]
497
00:17:38,919 --> 00:17:41,391
- Okay, wait. That was Leroy.
- [LEROY SCREAMS IN DISTANCE]
498
00:17:41,397 --> 00:17:43,111
- Right?
- LEROY: Stop it!
499
00:17:43,117 --> 00:17:44,716
Oh, it's so obvious.
500
00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:47,654
- Here we go.
- No. No. Stop it!
501
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,530
No, please, don't.
502
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,978
MAX: Oh, my God, a Cronos machine.
503
00:17:56,984 --> 00:17:58,397
- [GRUNTS]
- I knew it.
504
00:17:59,649 --> 00:18:01,900
Shwa! I told you, bitch.
505
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:04,173
Oh, that's right, you indestructible.
506
00:18:04,179 --> 00:18:07,213
[GRUNTS]
507
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,473
[MAX SHOUTING]
508
00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:10,108
[GROANS]
509
00:18:11,895 --> 00:18:13,494
[SHOUTS]
510
00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:20,991
[GRUNTS]
511
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:23,503
[SIGHS]
512
00:18:25,025 --> 00:18:26,958
- [GROANS]
- MAX: Hey!
513
00:18:32,163 --> 00:18:34,783
Leroy... the machine.
514
00:18:35,803 --> 00:18:38,403
The machine! [GROANS]
515
00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:39,971
[PANTS]
516
00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:41,573
CAMPBELL: No.
517
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,308
Go on.
518
00:18:43,377 --> 00:18:45,536
- It's not working!
- The tree.
519
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,300
- Get the tree.
- You said the machine!
520
00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:50,407
- I meant the tree.
- [GRUNTS]
521
00:18:51,218 --> 00:18:52,506
[GROANS]
522
00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:56,548
- No!
- [GRUNTS]
523
00:18:56,828 --> 00:18:58,794
[SCREAMS]
524
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,782
[MAX AND LEROY PANTING]
525
00:19:05,131 --> 00:19:06,497
MAX: Oh, my God.
526
00:19:06,566 --> 00:19:08,458
Think LaFrey will be
pissed I broke the Cronos?
527
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:10,599
Why would she? She didn't
even know what it was.
528
00:19:10,605 --> 00:19:11,771
Yeah, she'll be fine.
529
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:13,924
Somebody had to put an
end to the Cronos-ing.
530
00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:16,177
You know, that's not really
the proper use of the word.
531
00:19:16,183 --> 00:19:17,714
Cut me some slack.
532
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,753
Never claimed to be a Cronos-ologist.
533
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,424
Okay, not to nitpick, but still
534
00:19:21,430 --> 00:19:23,627
not exactly the right terminology.
535
00:19:23,633 --> 00:19:25,474
You know what? I'll cut you some slack.
536
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,746
Thank you for saving my life.
537
00:19:26,752 --> 00:19:29,419
Wow. Could have led with that.
538
00:19:32,010 --> 00:19:34,059
- Hey, man.
- Hey.
539
00:19:34,065 --> 00:19:35,503
Hey, look, uh...
540
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,093
I know I went a little too far
541
00:19:37,099 --> 00:19:38,372
with that joke about your wife
542
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,704
back at the golf course, and
543
00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:41,084
I just wanted to apologize.
544
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:42,657
Oh, there's no need. I know it
545
00:19:42,663 --> 00:19:44,188
was just Rich Leroy talking.
546
00:19:44,194 --> 00:19:45,727
Plus, I was pretty deep undercover
547
00:19:45,733 --> 00:19:47,366
as Max the Caddie, so...
548
00:19:47,579 --> 00:19:50,112
Well, if you happen to
see Max the Caddie,
549
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,351
tell him Rich Leroy would
also like to apologize.
550
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,817
Okay. Well, on behalf of Max the Caddie,
551
00:19:54,852 --> 00:19:56,385
I accept your apol...
552
00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:58,629
- You know what? Can we just drop this?
- Yes, please.
553
00:19:58,769 --> 00:20:01,175
Turns out, I think you were right.
554
00:20:01,926 --> 00:20:04,060
It's probably time for me to move on.
555
00:20:04,666 --> 00:20:06,562
I like that idea.
556
00:20:06,598 --> 00:20:08,264
- You're gonna be okay, man.
- Thanks.
557
00:20:08,299 --> 00:20:09,828
LAFREY: I cannot believe the two of you
558
00:20:09,834 --> 00:20:11,858
destroyed the Cronos machine.
559
00:20:11,864 --> 00:20:13,850
- I had to destroy it to save Max.
- MAX: Yeah.
560
00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:16,324
I almost died, so whatever
blood I had left,
561
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:17,759
it would have been on your hands.
562
00:20:17,794 --> 00:20:19,193
At least you could
have tried to do both.
563
00:20:19,262 --> 00:20:21,596
Do you guys ever think
about what you would do
564
00:20:21,631 --> 00:20:23,982
- if you could live forever?
- MAX: Ooh, I think I would just
565
00:20:23,988 --> 00:20:26,144
- read for 200 years.
- Yes.
566
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:28,829
If you're immortal, and
an alligator eats you,
567
00:20:28,835 --> 00:20:30,254
like, what happens? Could somebody
568
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:31,488
walk me through the rules?
569
00:20:31,494 --> 00:20:33,508
Yeah, do you just live
inside the alligator
570
00:20:33,543 --> 00:20:36,010
until it dies, or are you digested?
571
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:37,809
And what if the alligator's immortal?
572
00:20:37,815 --> 00:20:39,081
- What then?
- MAX: Oh, my God.
573
00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:40,407
I don't know.
574
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,380
That's the thing is that you don't know.
575
00:20:42,386 --> 00:20:44,820
My great aunt lived to be 119 years old.
576
00:20:45,127 --> 00:20:48,061
But she said the last 40
years were mostly coughing.
577
00:20:48,096 --> 00:20:49,696
Oh, that's really sweet.
578
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,632
BARRY: I-I know this may be lame,
579
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,267
but if we're all immortal,
580
00:20:54,302 --> 00:20:56,369
I'd want to spend
eternity with you people.
581
00:20:57,310 --> 00:21:00,522
Everybody in for a group hug. Come on.
582
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,042
- Come on. My eyes are closed.
- LAFREY: Barry.
583
00:21:03,078 --> 00:21:04,975
There's no shame in it.
Come on, enter my arms.
584
00:21:04,981 --> 00:21:06,446
That's it. Whole group.
585
00:21:06,481 --> 00:21:08,715
I'm just gonna stay here until
the group hug's complete.
586
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:11,418
Ooh. Okay. Yes.
587
00:21:11,453 --> 00:21:15,388
This sounds, sounds like Leroy's
tip-tippy toes tapping...
588
00:21:16,085 --> 00:21:17,825
There you are.
589
00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:21,836
- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
590
00:21:21,886 --> 00:21:26,436
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