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1
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- I'm pregnant.
- And you're the father.
2
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
3
00:00:03,577 --> 00:00:05,447
- I can't deal with this.
- Smith...
4
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:09,151
- I can't be a dad. Look at me.
- Mate, you've gotta do the right thing.
5
00:00:09,251 --> 00:00:12,587
- I don't wanna marry that. - I don't
wanna marry you. I'd have said no.
6
00:00:12,687 --> 00:00:15,594
Feels like I should be
coming with you. Coming home.
7
00:00:15,694 --> 00:00:18,062
This is your home now, babe.
With me.
8
00:00:18,989 --> 00:00:21,924
- This isn't my home. It's Pam
and Mick's. - Oh, charming!
9
00:00:22,024 --> 00:00:23,244
No need to be rude.
10
00:00:23,344 --> 00:00:25,448
I'm being rude?!
You're kicking me out!
11
00:00:25,548 --> 00:00:27,241
I go for my scan in a few weeks.
12
00:00:27,341 --> 00:00:31,142
- I'd like to come, if that's all right.
I wanna do it properly. - Tidy.
13
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,617
Hiya! Are you not up yet?
14
00:00:44,056 --> 00:00:46,459
What time is it? Nearly eleven.
15
00:00:46,818 --> 00:00:51,419
It's not! That means I've slept for
almost, like, nearly eleven hours!
16
00:00:52,206 --> 00:00:54,485
All right for some!
What you up to today?
17
00:00:54,585 --> 00:00:58,271
I dunno, really. Can't you come home
and get into bed with me?
18
00:00:59,031 --> 00:01:01,891
I'd love to, but I sort
of have to stay here. Oh!
19
00:01:01,991 --> 00:01:07,125
I'm sorry, baby, it's just...
It's not you. I just got another rejection letter. Which one?
20
00:01:07,225 --> 00:01:10,353
The one at that car place.
You didn't want that one, anyway.
21
00:01:10,453 --> 00:01:13,570
Exactly. I can't even get
the jobs I DON'T want.
22
00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:15,273
D'you think it's cos I'm Welsh?
23
00:01:15,373 --> 00:01:18,335
Don't be silly!
Look, you just gotta keep going.
24
00:01:18,796 --> 00:01:22,496
Get on the internet and start looking
now. I will. I'll do it right now.
25
00:01:23,352 --> 00:01:25,222
Straight after Loose Women.
26
00:01:31,272 --> 00:01:32,815
Hiya! Hiya!
27
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,141
All right?
28
00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:36,381
Yeah. How was karate?
29
00:01:36,481 --> 00:01:39,341
It's jujitsu, darling.
What's the difference?
30
00:01:39,441 --> 00:01:42,008
It's a non-combative martial art.
31
00:01:42,307 --> 00:01:44,928
We are defensive, they are offensive.
32
00:01:45,370 --> 00:01:49,277
But, I tell you what, Sue - you
know Sue? Big fat Sue... Big fat Sue.
33
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,741
She didn't half give me a wallop.
I said to her, "Oi!
34
00:01:51,841 --> 00:01:55,283
"What's defensive about that?"
You've had your breakfast, then?
35
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:58,243
Well, sort of.
I had a brunch, I did.
36
00:01:58,343 --> 00:02:02,275
Oh, I got up so late
cos I set the alarm for ten but I didn't get up till gone eleven.
37
00:02:02,375 --> 00:02:05,864
And I thought, "I'm too early for lunch
and too late for breakfast,"
38
00:02:05,964 --> 00:02:07,670
so I just had a banana.
39
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:11,442
But, if anything, that made me
more hungry so I ended up having
40
00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:14,707
a sandwich, some cereal and a
yoghurt, which is brunch, isn't it?
41
00:02:14,807 --> 00:02:17,956
So I rang my mum and I said, "I've
just had my first ever brunch!"
42
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:20,408
I'm not being funny, Stacey,
but get a life.
43
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,498
What you said just now
was really boring.
44
00:02:22,598 --> 00:02:25,337
I mean, I can jabber with
the best of them, but that?
45
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,496
I switched off at the end of banana.
46
00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:30,204
Sorry.
You wanna get out of the house.
47
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:34,695
I know! Why don't you come
fencing with me tomorrow. Because you know Pat?
48
00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:36,835
Fat No More Pat? Fat No More Pat.
49
00:02:36,935 --> 00:02:40,585
She can't come
cos she's having her staples out. You could make up the numbers.
50
00:02:40,685 --> 00:02:44,524
Oh, I'd love to but we're going
Barry, aren't we? Oh, God, the scan!
51
00:02:44,624 --> 00:02:47,136
What's the latest
with Smithy and Lucy?
52
00:02:47,236 --> 00:02:49,374
Last we heard, he was gonna meet her
after Guides
53
00:02:49,474 --> 00:02:53,037
and try and win her back,
but we've not heard from him since.
54
00:02:53,534 --> 00:02:55,889
Hiya, Ness!
"Alrigh' Stace, what's occurring?"
55
00:02:55,989 --> 00:02:58,584
Nothing much.
I'm a bit bored, to be honest.
56
00:02:58,684 --> 00:03:01,926
What's this I hear about a brunch?
"Oh, it was lush!"
57
00:03:02,026 --> 00:03:06,111
Right, I had a banana but
I was still hungry, so I ended up having some cereal and a yoghurt...
58
00:03:06,211 --> 00:03:08,423
Bear with me, Stace. Oh!
59
00:03:11,139 --> 00:03:11,822
Oh!
60
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:15,383
Oh!
61
00:03:19,141 --> 00:03:19,824
Oh!
62
00:03:24,983 --> 00:03:25,679
Oh!
63
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:29,930
Oh!
64
00:03:35,723 --> 00:03:36,433
Oh!
65
00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:38,721
Oh!
66
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,115
What does that sign say?
67
00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:44,411
"Peidiwch a chyffwrdd
a'r peiriannau."
68
00:03:44,511 --> 00:03:47,282
Now sling yer hook,
or I'll break your face!
69
00:03:53,323 --> 00:03:55,942
Stace, I gotta go.
It's mayhem down here.
70
00:03:56,042 --> 00:03:57,339
But hang on...
71
00:03:58,935 --> 00:04:02,443
Right, that's got to get to Guildford
by first thing tomorrow, OK?
72
00:04:12,171 --> 00:04:13,795
Hello, Gavin speaking.
73
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:18,786
Yeah, don't worry. Joel's gonna Fed Ex
it so it gets there by first thing tomorrow.
74
00:04:19,522 --> 00:04:20,491
Yeah.
75
00:04:21,351 --> 00:04:22,334
Yeah...
76
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,734
Brian, can I call you back?
77
00:04:26,246 --> 00:04:27,106
Cheers.
78
00:04:32,319 --> 00:04:33,793
What you doing here?
79
00:05:01,493 --> 00:05:03,787
Come on, let's go and get a coffee.
80
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,111
D'you know what she said?
81
00:05:09,211 --> 00:05:11,133
She said she was relieved!
82
00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:14,046
Relieved I'm fathering
someone else's child!
83
00:05:14,611 --> 00:05:16,298
You know why, don't you? Why?
84
00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:17,927
Cos it turns out...
85
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:22,662
For the past three months,
she's been seein' someone else!
86
00:05:22,762 --> 00:05:24,515
Who? Y'know that Craig...
87
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,645
The one who washed my car on
Bob-a-Job week, with the acne?
88
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,686
Started running the tuck shop
together didn't they, youth club?
89
00:05:30,786 --> 00:05:33,999
I knew something was going on.
She started comin' home with shrimps,
90
00:05:34,099 --> 00:05:36,178
cola bottles, astro belts.
91
00:05:36,648 --> 00:05:39,460
Guilt sweets, they were, Gav.
Guilt sweets.
92
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,063
But with all them activities and
seein' you, how'd she fit it all in?
93
00:05:43,163 --> 00:05:45,516
Oh, she's been
fitting it all in, all right.
94
00:05:45,616 --> 00:05:48,460
Apparently she's got more in common
with him, youth theatre.
95
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,631
I said, "I'll go to youth
theatre." Know what she said?
96
00:05:51,731 --> 00:05:53,488
What? The cut off's 22.
97
00:05:53,588 --> 00:05:56,182
He's 21, Gav.
How does that make me feel?
98
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,904
I've been thinking about ending
it all, to be honest. Suicide.
99
00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:04,383
What? Big time.
100
00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:09,659
How many Neurofen would I need
to finish me off?
101
00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:11,807
You? You'd need hundreds.
102
00:06:12,392 --> 00:06:16,228
I can't afford, that, can I? Not if
I'm gonna have an 'oliday this year.
103
00:06:27,656 --> 00:06:29,473
Do you ever get bored workin here?
104
00:06:29,573 --> 00:06:31,812
No. I find it fascinatin'.
105
00:06:32,547 --> 00:06:34,444
I'm a people-watcher, Bryn.
106
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:36,887
I get you!
107
00:06:37,935 --> 00:06:40,407
I see every thread
of life's rich tapestry
108
00:06:40,507 --> 00:06:44,371
in between these three walls,
the whole spectrum of human emotion.
109
00:06:45,455 --> 00:06:46,902
The whole gamut.
110
00:06:47,873 --> 00:06:50,017
I see victory, I see defeat.
111
00:06:51,017 --> 00:06:55,577
Anticipation,
emancipation and demoralisation - and that's just on the fruities.
112
00:07:01,926 --> 00:07:03,962
Can I ask you a question?
113
00:07:04,062 --> 00:07:05,058
Go for it.
114
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:07,488
The Penny Falls.
115
00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:09,465
Are they fixed?
116
00:07:09,565 --> 00:07:10,917
What do you reckon?
117
00:07:11,017 --> 00:07:12,464
My heart says no,
118
00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:14,641
but my head says it must be.
119
00:07:14,741 --> 00:07:17,591
I mean, is it magnets?
Copper's not magnetic, Bryn.
120
00:07:17,691 --> 00:07:20,071
Then are they glued?
Because it's something.
121
00:07:20,171 --> 00:07:23,761
I could tell you...
I know, but you'd have to kill me.
122
00:07:23,993 --> 00:07:27,338
No, I just don't want to. Now,
we practising this song or what?
123
00:07:30,191 --> 00:07:31,279
♪ I
124
00:07:31,379 --> 00:07:32,335
♪ I
125
00:07:33,705 --> 00:07:37,158
♪ Know I stand in line, until
you think you have the time
126
00:07:37,258 --> 00:07:39,783
♪ To spend an evening with me
127
00:07:40,056 --> 00:07:41,807
♪ Evening with me
128
00:07:41,907 --> 00:07:45,449
♪ And if we go some place to dance,
I know that there's a chance
129
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:49,140
♪ You won't be leaving with me
130
00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:57,289
♪ And afterwards we drop into a quiet
little place and have a drink or two
131
00:07:57,802 --> 00:08:00,065
♪ And then I go and spoil it all
132
00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:04,615
♪ By saying something stupid
like "I love you"
133
00:08:05,303 --> 00:08:08,839
♪ I love you
134
00:08:09,232 --> 00:08:10,638
♪ I love
135
00:08:11,716 --> 00:08:14,829
♪ You. ♪
136
00:08:16,489 --> 00:08:19,943
Well, it's all right, but I still
think Islands in the Stream.
137
00:08:22,425 --> 00:08:24,040
Never seen him like that before.
138
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:25,535
He was really bad.
139
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,243
Poor sod. He's been through the mill
these last two weeks.
140
00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:31,790
Well, I'm glad he's got you to talk to,
cos he can't talk to his mother.
141
00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:33,922
You've not met Cath, have you, Stace?
No.
142
00:08:34,022 --> 00:08:36,702
The woman is a mess.
She's not that bad! She's all right!
143
00:08:36,802 --> 00:08:40,638
Michael, she is the reason
that boy is B-I-G.
144
00:08:41,016 --> 00:08:42,984
I mean, the sister is like that...
145
00:08:43,084 --> 00:08:45,917
Here we go. Which doesn't add up,
because when they were little,
146
00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:49,717
she used to stuff both of them
with Findus Crispy Pancakes,
147
00:08:50,048 --> 00:08:52,274
gorge on a load herself and then...
148
00:08:54,239 --> 00:08:58,339
Every day. And she's a dinner lady.
Well, she was. She quit.
149
00:08:58,439 --> 00:09:00,478
When it all kicked off with
the headteacher.
150
00:09:00,578 --> 00:09:01,874
What happened?
151
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,627
Well, you're not
going to believe it...
152
00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:07,345
Not this again. Mum, it wasn't true!
Apparently they were... Y'know?
153
00:09:07,790 --> 00:09:10,306
Smithy's mum and the headmaster?
Mistress!
154
00:09:10,406 --> 00:09:12,754
Mistress. Headmistress! No!
155
00:09:13,013 --> 00:09:16,630
Yes! Hammer and tong.
Pauline, her name was.
156
00:09:16,908 --> 00:09:18,643
Married to a lovely man, Dennis.
157
00:09:18,743 --> 00:09:21,507
For the love of Mike,
where do you get these stories?
158
00:09:21,607 --> 00:09:23,654
It is true, on my life.
159
00:09:23,754 --> 00:09:25,430
Jan, you've not met Jan?
160
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:29,571
No-Man Jan. She worked there
an' all, in the canteen.
161
00:09:29,955 --> 00:09:33,043
She says they were all over
one another like a rash.
162
00:09:33,143 --> 00:09:37,210
Really? Yeah. And then Cath ends it,
says she's not that way inclined,
163
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:41,665
says it was only a frisson, and suddenly
Cath's's not got a job there any more.
164
00:09:41,892 --> 00:09:46,032
So she threatens to report it to the board
of governors and, before you know it,
165
00:09:46,132 --> 00:09:49,446
hey presto, she's got a healthy lump
of mullah in her back pocket,
166
00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:51,814
and Dennis is none the wiser,
bless him.
167
00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:54,976
That story is the biggest load
of rubbish I've ever heard.
168
00:09:55,076 --> 00:09:56,266
When are you gonna learn?
169
00:09:56,366 --> 00:10:00,584
You cannot trust No-Man Jan. That's
why she's been divorced three times.
170
00:10:01,859 --> 00:10:02,842
It's true.
171
00:10:25,703 --> 00:10:29,103
Gavlar!
Smithstar-Sistar! How's it going?
172
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,451
Not bad, thanks. You? I'm good.
173
00:10:31,786 --> 00:10:33,465
This is Stacey. Hiya!
174
00:10:33,565 --> 00:10:36,287
All right. Heard a lot about you.
Heard a lot about you, too.
175
00:10:36,387 --> 00:10:38,467
I'm Rudi. You can call me Smithy.
OK.
176
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:40,451
Come in, he's still packing.
177
00:10:43,465 --> 00:10:45,509
This Nessa bird's a mate of yours,
then, is she, Stace?
178
00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:47,520
Yeah, my best friend for ten years.
179
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,790
She was my third-best friend
for two years before that,
180
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:52,531
so I've known her, for about
12 years. All right?
181
00:10:52,631 --> 00:10:54,938
Man, I was absolutely wankered.
182
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,585
Did you see Cherice? I know!
183
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,635
Ah, shut up! Shut up!
184
00:11:02,013 --> 00:11:04,170
All right, yeah, I gotta go. Aaah!
185
00:11:05,775 --> 00:11:06,569
Yeah.
186
00:11:07,783 --> 00:11:10,138
Can I get you a drink or anything?
Rudi, where's mum?
187
00:11:10,238 --> 00:11:12,409
She's gone for lunch at Pauline's.
188
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,712
Gavlar! All right, mate?
189
00:11:14,951 --> 00:11:16,508
How's it going? Good.
190
00:11:19,675 --> 00:11:22,047
- Why aren't you doin' it?
- I just sort of did it. - When?
191
00:11:22,147 --> 00:11:24,022
When we came in. With Smithy...
I mean Rudi.
192
00:11:27,296 --> 00:11:28,948
What was our agreement?
193
00:11:29,477 --> 00:11:31,461
Don't shrug in my face.
The deal was
194
00:11:31,561 --> 00:11:33,554
your friends can call you
Smithy, but my mates -
195
00:11:33,654 --> 00:11:36,571
aka Gav, Budgie,
Chinese, y'know, the crew -
196
00:11:36,671 --> 00:11:38,660
they call you Rudi which is,
in fact, your name.
197
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:42,493
And your name's Ruth,
so you still got a nickname,
198
00:11:42,593 --> 00:11:46,584
it's just not Smithy, which you only
decided you wanted everyone to call you to annoy me.
199
00:11:46,684 --> 00:11:47,815
Not true, but go on.
200
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:51,597
And, as for the robot, that is all
mine. Me and Gav, we invented it.
201
00:11:51,697 --> 00:11:53,212
You didn't invent the robot. Gav?
202
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:56,481
Back me up? Well, we do it, but I
don't think we invented robotics.
203
00:11:56,581 --> 00:11:58,834
No, but... Did you invent robotics?
204
00:11:59,148 --> 00:12:00,167
No, but... Did you invent the robot?
205
00:12:00,267 --> 00:12:02,556
That's not what I'm...
It's a simple question,
206
00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:04,727
did you invent the robot? No...
You said you did.
207
00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:06,925
Did you not say you invented
the robot? You're a dick!
208
00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:10,261
You're a dick! You're a dick!
You're a dick! Oh, God. "Oh, God."
209
00:12:10,361 --> 00:12:13,118
You're gonna do this now?
"You're gonna do this now?"
210
00:12:13,218 --> 00:12:15,307
Yeah, how old are you? 12?
"Yeah, how old are you? 12?"
211
00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:18,793
First time you've met Stacey...
"First time you've met Stacey..."
212
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:22,111
Right... Agh!
213
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:23,901
Get off me!
214
00:12:25,542 --> 00:12:28,204
Get off me! You're a dick!
215
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,142
And this man is soon to be
a father. Shocking.
216
00:12:36,242 --> 00:12:37,889
Should we stop them?
No, they're always like this.
217
00:12:37,989 --> 00:12:39,346
Are you a dickhead? No!
218
00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:41,348
Are you a dickhead? Piss off!
219
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:44,068
Did I invent the robot? Yes!
Who invented the robot? YOU!
220
00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:46,625
Thank you! Come on, Gav.
Let's bounce.
221
00:12:47,805 --> 00:12:49,412
Had my fingers crossed anyway!
222
00:12:49,512 --> 00:12:51,478
See you, Rudi! Laters, Stace.
223
00:12:53,608 --> 00:12:55,887
Just totally had a fight
with my brother...
224
00:13:05,146 --> 00:13:06,474
All right, love.
225
00:13:06,574 --> 00:13:09,625
Yeah. No, we'll be here,
we're not going anywhere.
226
00:13:09,725 --> 00:13:12,401
And watch that speed camera
before the dip.
227
00:13:13,049 --> 00:13:14,018
All right.
228
00:13:14,941 --> 00:13:15,951
All right.
229
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,124
Of course!
230
00:13:19,410 --> 00:13:20,175
Yep.
231
00:13:21,571 --> 00:13:22,363
Yep.
232
00:13:23,619 --> 00:13:24,602
All right.
233
00:13:25,357 --> 00:13:27,987
Bye! They're just coming into Barry.
234
00:13:28,087 --> 00:13:29,782
Tidy. They'll be here in ten.
235
00:13:29,882 --> 00:13:32,556
Hiya! Only me!
They're just coming into Barry.
236
00:13:32,656 --> 00:13:34,649
Right! They'll be here in ten.
237
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,448
Hiya, Ness!
How's the Dow Jones looking?
238
00:13:37,548 --> 00:13:40,568
I won't lie to you, Bryn, it's
not good. FTSE's down an' all.
239
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:43,339
That doesn't sound good.
I been on to my broker all mornin'.
240
00:13:43,439 --> 00:13:46,491
He reckons there's another Black
Monday coming. Seriously?
241
00:13:46,591 --> 00:13:49,335
I dunno, Bryn,
but even a dead cat bounces.
242
00:13:49,634 --> 00:13:51,022
What you been up to?
243
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,429
I've been updating the MySpace.
244
00:13:53,696 --> 00:13:56,345
I've got 17 friends now.
245
00:13:56,783 --> 00:13:58,421
I'm snowed under!
246
00:13:58,521 --> 00:14:00,377
It's ever such a lot of fun.
247
00:14:00,608 --> 00:14:02,273
Did you bring the pump?
248
00:14:02,612 --> 00:14:05,957
I knew I'd forgotten something!
I've left it in the car.
249
00:14:09,605 --> 00:14:11,407
Dermot, what's occurring?
250
00:14:12,741 --> 00:14:13,792
How much?
251
00:14:14,972 --> 00:14:19,067
OK. Oh, Gwen. It's 21 pence a share.
What d'you reckon?
252
00:14:19,509 --> 00:14:20,829
I dunno, love.
253
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:23,608
Look,
why don't you wait till Tokyo opens?
254
00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:26,288
I hear you. Derm, I'm gonna hold off.
255
00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:28,536
I'll call you later.
256
00:14:30,055 --> 00:14:30,956
Genuine.
257
00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:43,059
Look who it is!
258
00:14:46,628 --> 00:14:47,638
Hiya!
259
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,986
Oh, look at you!
260
00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:52,859
You look very well. Very rested.
261
00:14:53,529 --> 00:14:55,291
All right, Bryn. How's it going?
262
00:14:55,391 --> 00:14:59,023
I'm am very good. Very well.
263
00:15:00,906 --> 00:15:03,541
All right?
How was your journey, all ri'?
264
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,521
Yeah, yeah. It was good, yeah.
265
00:15:05,621 --> 00:15:06,622
Here he is.
266
00:15:06,722 --> 00:15:08,724
Here's my lodger, my roomy!
267
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,453
How are you, Bryn? All right?
268
00:15:10,553 --> 00:15:13,689
Now, if it's all right with you, you're
on the sofa and I'll tell you for why.
269
00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:17,871
I've turned the second bedroom
into a gym, a work-out room.
270
00:15:18,141 --> 00:15:21,103
But the sofa is ever so comfy.
Yeah, that's fine.
271
00:15:21,459 --> 00:15:24,144
D'you want to bring your bag in now?
Yeah, OK. Cheers.
272
00:15:24,244 --> 00:15:25,896
Want an omelette, either of you?
273
00:15:25,996 --> 00:15:29,368
I'm all right, thanks, Gwen.
I had a big breakfast. Red pepper.
274
00:15:29,468 --> 00:15:31,043
Well, look who it is!
275
00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:32,098
Hiya!
276
00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:35,909
It's not the same without you, Stace.
277
00:15:36,009 --> 00:15:38,507
Aw, thanks, Dor! Hiya, Doris.
278
00:15:38,607 --> 00:15:40,677
And look at this lovely boy.
279
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:43,248
Oh, isn't he lovely? Come here, you.
280
00:15:46,591 --> 00:15:49,047
You've got a great face, Gavin.
281
00:15:49,147 --> 00:15:52,205
Gorgeous. And a great pair of lips.
282
00:15:53,714 --> 00:15:54,915
Look at you!
283
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,054
How's your leg?
284
00:15:57,154 --> 00:15:59,829
Oh, it's giving me terrible jip,
and this hill don't help.
285
00:15:59,929 --> 00:16:03,020
You wanna get one of them little
sit on things. What, Shopmobility?
286
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,902
I won't have one, Gav. Maureen's
got one, she looks a right knob.
287
00:16:08,115 --> 00:16:10,372
Any news, Ness? 21 pence a share.
288
00:16:10,941 --> 00:16:13,300
I'd sell, cut my losses, take the hit.
289
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,906
Not waiting for Tokyo, are you?
290
00:16:15,006 --> 00:16:17,805
Yeah. They open in 40 minutes.
Should know within the hour.
291
00:16:17,905 --> 00:16:21,248
Well, you're a fool. They'll
be 16 pence before you know it.
292
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,805
That's a risk I gotta take, Dor.
293
00:16:22,905 --> 00:16:26,283
We're having a fish supper later,
fancy joining us? I would love that.
294
00:16:26,383 --> 00:16:29,025
Are you sure? Of course! You don't
want to sit in on your own!
295
00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:31,896
Hey, stop it, you!
You're a married man now!
296
00:16:33,144 --> 00:16:37,389
Although if you are interested
in that sort of thing, y'know,
297
00:16:38,361 --> 00:16:39,958
I'm very open-minded.
298
00:16:40,471 --> 00:16:41,727
And discreet.
299
00:16:42,343 --> 00:16:42,998
OK?
300
00:16:56,528 --> 00:16:57,816
Where am I standing now?
301
00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:00,172
It's the bus stop for Dave's Coaches.
302
00:17:00,272 --> 00:17:03,793
Yeah, and what happened here
on this very spot? I don't know.
303
00:17:03,893 --> 00:17:07,507
Right, when did I drive down to
Barry, and you got off a bus, and...
304
00:17:07,607 --> 00:17:09,571
Remember? Oh, God!
305
00:17:09,671 --> 00:17:11,678
We said "I love you." Yeah!
306
00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:15,427
And I said, "If you say it first,
I'll say it back."
307
00:17:15,527 --> 00:17:17,101
No, that's what I said.
308
00:17:17,201 --> 00:17:20,357
Oh, yeah! Oh, that was so long ago.
309
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:21,415
It was only five months.
310
00:17:21,515 --> 00:17:23,631
Is that all? It feels like ages.
311
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,100
Oh, thanks! No, I just mean
so much has changed.
312
00:17:27,681 --> 00:17:31,666
I don't live here any more, and I just
never thought I'd move out of Barry, that's all.
313
00:17:31,766 --> 00:17:33,500
I never thought I'd come back here.
314
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,108
I only came down that first time
so I could shag you again.
315
00:17:38,302 --> 00:17:39,312
Gav!
316
00:17:43,006 --> 00:17:44,527
What time's your appointment?
317
00:17:44,627 --> 00:17:47,775
10.45. She's got her
first scan tomorrow, Dor.
318
00:17:47,875 --> 00:17:51,462
You're going through with it, then?
Yeah. I think you're a fool.
319
00:17:51,562 --> 00:17:54,516
The worse thing that ever happened
to me, becoming a mother.
320
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,186
We never connected.
321
00:17:56,609 --> 00:18:00,391
I kept waiting for the mother-daughter
bond, it never arrived.
322
00:18:01,192 --> 00:18:04,413
- She was horrible, wasn't she, Gwen?
- Who, your Moira?
323
00:18:04,513 --> 00:18:07,631
I was in school with her, and I don't
like to talk ill of people,
324
00:18:07,731 --> 00:18:09,164
but she was a nasty piece of work.
325
00:18:09,264 --> 00:18:11,257
She was the bane of my life.
326
00:18:11,572 --> 00:18:14,684
Some days I'd see her
and I'd be filled with hate.
327
00:18:15,054 --> 00:18:16,715
I'd just want to smother her.
328
00:18:16,815 --> 00:18:20,784
Fair play. They didn't have
beef and onion so I got you a chicken and mushroom.
329
00:18:20,884 --> 00:18:23,524
Oh, that's fine, love! Doris,
d'you want to sit at the table?
330
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:26,685
No, I'm happy on my lap.
You were cod, Doris, yeah?
331
00:18:26,785 --> 00:18:29,649
That's me, love.
I'll have the smallest one you got.
332
00:18:29,749 --> 00:18:31,851
Only us! The roomies.
333
00:18:32,382 --> 00:18:34,199
The Men Behaving Badly! All right?
334
00:18:34,299 --> 00:18:37,743
Your three battered sausages, and
Ness's three battered sausages. Cheers.
335
00:18:37,843 --> 00:18:40,329
Now, Bryn, you were haddock?
That's it!
336
00:18:42,133 --> 00:18:45,180
Any salt and vinegar or anything? No,
I'm gonna wait for the curry sauce.
337
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,215
Oh, what is it with the Welsh
and curry sauce?
338
00:18:47,315 --> 00:18:49,187
You don't have it, do you?
No, it's rank.
339
00:18:49,287 --> 00:18:52,451
Worse than Northerners and gravy.
What is wrong with a dry chip?
340
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:55,082
I can't eat chips
without curry sauce.
341
00:18:55,182 --> 00:18:58,195
I mean, a bit of mayonnaise
or something, fair enough.
342
00:18:58,295 --> 00:19:00,865
But they're swimming in it.
Now, are you sure tonight
343
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:04,705
you're gonna be all right on Bryn's
sofa? You can have my bed.
344
00:19:05,049 --> 00:19:07,157
He's slept in worse.
Slept in a wheelbarrow once!
345
00:19:07,257 --> 00:19:10,633
What's wrong with your spare room?
Of course, you won't have seen it!
346
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:14,285
I've given it a complete overhaul,
haven't I, Gwen? Oh, I'll say.
347
00:19:14,385 --> 00:19:18,945
Turned it into a gym.
A state of the art fitness studio.
348
00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:21,623
Smithy's had a go.
Oh, Gav, it's incredible.
349
00:19:21,723 --> 00:19:23,989
I been doing them, you know, the...
350
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:29,771
And, honestly, I can feel
the difference already. Seriously.
351
00:19:29,871 --> 00:19:33,710
Well, you'll be hurting tomorrow, my boy,
but you have to work through it.
352
00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:36,322
You have to go through the barrier.
353
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:40,653
I mean, I'm in better shape now
than I've ever been, aren't I, Gwen?
354
00:19:40,753 --> 00:19:42,951
Yeah. Smithy, put your hand there.
355
00:19:43,507 --> 00:19:44,326
Gavin.
356
00:19:46,884 --> 00:19:47,858
Now then.
357
00:19:47,958 --> 00:19:49,733
That's relaxed, all right?
358
00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:53,649
Wow, amazing.
Do it again, do it again.
359
00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:56,066
No, no, no... Watch now.
360
00:19:58,015 --> 00:19:59,053
Relaxed...
361
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:01,098
tense.
362
00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:03,754
Relaxed...
363
00:20:04,321 --> 00:20:05,140
tense.
364
00:20:05,959 --> 00:20:07,938
Soft, hard.
365
00:20:09,229 --> 00:20:12,023
And that is after one month.
What d'you think, Gav?
366
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,077
Impressive.
I need to do something like that.
367
00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:17,056
I joined a gym a couple of years ago.
Fitness First.
368
00:20:17,156 --> 00:20:19,930
Three years I was a member.
Only went twice.
369
00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:22,433
Oh, my God! Doris is dead! Shit!
370
00:20:22,745 --> 00:20:25,255
No, she isn't, love,
she's just dropped off.
371
00:20:25,355 --> 00:20:27,116
Doris? Dor?
372
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:31,998
Oh! Doris!
373
00:20:33,631 --> 00:20:34,387
Oh!
374
00:20:34,487 --> 00:20:36,509
- I dropped off, Gwen.
- You're all right?
375
00:20:36,609 --> 00:20:39,615
Yes, I'm fine, love,
but I think my bed is calling.
376
00:20:39,715 --> 00:20:42,527
Gavin, will you help me to my door?
377
00:20:42,813 --> 00:20:45,791
I could do with a nice
strong man like you. Erm...
378
00:20:45,891 --> 00:20:49,122
- Thanks, Gav.
- Oh, I've had a lovely evening.
379
00:20:49,222 --> 00:20:51,366
Thanks so much for the company.
380
00:20:51,466 --> 00:20:53,375
Stace, d'you want to come?
Why? It's only next door.
381
00:20:53,475 --> 00:20:55,632
Leave her be. Three's a crowd!
382
00:20:56,139 --> 00:20:58,769
I'll see you tomorrow, Gwen.
Night all.
383
00:20:58,869 --> 00:21:00,794
Night night. Night, Doris.
Night, Doris.
384
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:02,150
Come on, you!
385
00:21:06,085 --> 00:21:08,606
See, this is when it
hits me hardest.
386
00:21:08,706 --> 00:21:12,104
What? The not smoking. This is
when I'd normally have a fag.
387
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,153
But you're still eating. I know.
388
00:21:14,253 --> 00:21:17,775
Two sausages, two fags,
and then come back for the third.
389
00:21:20,054 --> 00:21:22,138
Right, there you go! Thanks, Gav.
390
00:21:22,238 --> 00:21:25,392
Now you sure you don't want
to come in for a coffee?
391
00:21:25,861 --> 00:21:27,454
Nah, I'd better get back.
392
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:28,933
All right, love.
393
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:32,168
Well, you know where I am.
394
00:21:42,873 --> 00:21:45,300
I just think it's stupid,
four of us going.
395
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,491
Well, they're not a proper couple, so
they're probably glad of us bein' there.
396
00:21:49,591 --> 00:21:50,848
I know Nessa is.
397
00:21:50,948 --> 00:21:52,704
You only want to look at babies.
398
00:21:52,804 --> 00:21:56,302
Yeah, well, it is my godchild,
Gavin. I'm only taking an interest.
399
00:21:56,402 --> 00:21:58,981
She hasn't even asked you
to be Godmother yet! She will!
400
00:21:59,081 --> 00:22:01,636
Shall I bring it up
or do you want it at the table?
401
00:22:01,736 --> 00:22:04,330
I'll take it at the table, Gwen.
Cheers.
402
00:22:04,832 --> 00:22:07,087
Is Smithy coming over?
Only he said he was.
403
00:22:07,187 --> 00:22:09,203
Yeah, I dunno where he is.
Shall I go and get him?
404
00:22:09,303 --> 00:22:11,391
OK. Take the keys, if you like.
405
00:22:13,848 --> 00:22:17,430
Wow! All right, Ness? Don't come too
close, Gav, my breath is rank. Nice.
406
00:22:17,530 --> 00:22:19,250
No, seriously. It reeks.
407
00:22:20,808 --> 00:22:22,547
How was the airbed, all ri'?
408
00:22:22,647 --> 00:22:24,451
D'you know what? It's lush.
409
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:27,186
I want Gav to get one,
but he thinks it's stupid.
410
00:22:38,729 --> 00:22:41,773
I can't, Bryn.
I can't do it any more. Yes, you can!
411
00:22:42,039 --> 00:22:44,989
I can't! No, I'm not like you,
I'm not strong enough!
412
00:22:45,089 --> 00:22:47,506
Come on!! No, I'm done.
413
00:22:48,147 --> 00:22:49,185
It's over.
414
00:22:51,395 --> 00:22:54,139
Now, you listen here,
and you listen good.
415
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,914
Look at me. Smithy, look at me.
416
00:22:57,014 --> 00:22:57,820
What?!
417
00:22:58,739 --> 00:23:01,803
All that's happened here
is you've hit a wall. Right?
418
00:23:01,903 --> 00:23:04,675
And I've been there, buddy.
Oh, yeah. Big time.
419
00:23:04,775 --> 00:23:06,583
I tried to jump over it.
420
00:23:06,683 --> 00:23:09,987
No way, too high.
I tried to go under it. Uh-uh.
421
00:23:10,327 --> 00:23:12,211
And you can't get around it.
422
00:23:12,451 --> 00:23:14,303
So what are you gonna do?
423
00:23:14,403 --> 00:23:16,778
You're gonna run right through it.
424
00:23:17,370 --> 00:23:20,100
Smash it!
What are you gonna do? Smash it.
425
00:23:20,644 --> 00:23:22,511
I said, "What are you gonna do?"
426
00:23:22,611 --> 00:23:24,830
I'm gonna smash it.
I can't hear you, Smithy!
427
00:23:24,930 --> 00:23:27,303
I'm gonna smash it, Bryn,
I'm gonna smash it!
428
00:23:27,403 --> 00:23:30,392
All right! That's it! Come on!
Yes! Come on!
429
00:23:31,723 --> 00:23:34,003
MUSIC: "Jump (For My Love)"
by Girls Aloud
430
00:23:40,484 --> 00:23:41,590
Go, Smithy!
431
00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:45,962
SMITHY!! Bryn!!
432
00:23:46,652 --> 00:23:48,713
- Smithy. - Come on, Bryn!
- Smithy!
433
00:23:51,983 --> 00:23:52,884
Smithy!
434
00:23:54,910 --> 00:23:56,057
Sorry, Gav.
435
00:23:57,339 --> 00:24:00,161
Didn't see you there!
We were in the zone.
436
00:24:00,261 --> 00:24:02,440
You all right, Gavlar!
How's it going, all right? Yeah.
437
00:24:02,540 --> 00:24:04,587
Oh, man! Great session.
438
00:24:07,355 --> 00:24:08,715
Right. That's it.
439
00:24:08,815 --> 00:24:10,604
- I'm done.
- No, no, no.
440
00:24:11,227 --> 00:24:13,198
You gotta warm down, buddy,
441
00:24:13,298 --> 00:24:15,864
otherwise you'll be stiff
as a brick tomorrow.
442
00:24:15,964 --> 00:24:17,889
Come on, on your back, you.
443
00:24:19,206 --> 00:24:20,569
Give us a leg.
444
00:24:20,570 --> 00:24:22,278
That's it. That's it.
445
00:24:23,602 --> 00:24:24,381
Right.
446
00:24:25,896 --> 00:24:26,974
That's it.
447
00:24:27,393 --> 00:24:29,514
That's it. Really relax into me.
448
00:24:30,729 --> 00:24:32,410
Push it a bit more.
449
00:24:32,510 --> 00:24:33,302
There.
450
00:24:33,943 --> 00:24:35,618
I'd better get that,
it might be Griff.
451
00:24:35,718 --> 00:24:37,749
Gav, can you take over for a minute?
452
00:24:37,849 --> 00:24:39,023
Er, sure.
453
00:24:45,324 --> 00:24:46,744
What you doin'?
454
00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:50,004
- Workin' out.
- Why've you got your top off?
455
00:24:50,429 --> 00:24:53,495
Well... Bryn said we'd get
our clothes all sweaty.
456
00:24:54,276 --> 00:24:55,930
- What's up?
- I dunno.
457
00:24:56,030 --> 00:24:59,106
It just seems weird, you and my
uncle-in-law working out with your tops off,
458
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:00,391
rubbing each other.
459
00:25:00,491 --> 00:25:04,600
No, it's not like we're
rubbing each other. It's a warm-down.
460
00:25:05,194 --> 00:25:08,735
It was Griff. Wants to book
the cross-trainer for three.
461
00:25:08,835 --> 00:25:12,282
I tell you what boys, this gym
is the talk of the street.
462
00:25:12,382 --> 00:25:14,048
I'm the new David Lloyd.
463
00:25:19,951 --> 00:25:23,965
Gwen wants to know if you're
coming over for breakfast cos we got to be at the hospital by half ten.
464
00:25:24,065 --> 00:25:26,832
We've got breakfast sorted.
465
00:25:27,829 --> 00:25:30,282
- Spirulina!
- What the hell's that?
466
00:25:30,382 --> 00:25:31,867
Plankton, it is, Gav.
467
00:25:31,967 --> 00:25:34,077
Pure vegetable plankton.
468
00:25:34,177 --> 00:25:36,375
Full of vitamins and minerals.
469
00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:37,611
Cheers.
470
00:25:41,209 --> 00:25:43,250
- I love it.
- It's really nice.
471
00:25:45,855 --> 00:25:48,190
Mrs James, please? Ruth James?
472
00:25:51,790 --> 00:25:55,367
- How long's this gonna take?
Y'know, the actual scan? - I dunno.
473
00:25:55,838 --> 00:25:57,435
What, no idea at all?
474
00:25:57,768 --> 00:26:00,454
No, Smithy.
I've not done this before either.
475
00:26:00,554 --> 00:26:01,869
All right! God!
476
00:26:01,969 --> 00:26:04,321
Jenkins? Vanessa Jenkins?
477
00:26:04,421 --> 00:26:05,550
That's you!
478
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:09,705
- Is that your second name?
- Yes.
479
00:26:09,805 --> 00:26:12,176
- See you in a bit.
- How ridiculous is this?
480
00:26:12,276 --> 00:26:15,429
She's having my child,
I don't even know her surname.
481
00:26:21,892 --> 00:26:24,915
I'll tell you what I like doin',
I like lookin' at people, right,
482
00:26:25,015 --> 00:26:27,702
and guessing whether
it's gonna be a girl or a boy.
483
00:26:27,802 --> 00:26:29,746
But you'll never find out.
484
00:26:29,846 --> 00:26:33,115
Yeah, I know, so I just have
to guess the answers an' all.
485
00:26:33,215 --> 00:26:35,877
So far I've got three right
and two wrong.
486
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,935
Right. Sorry to keep you. My name's
Sian and you must be Mr Jenkins?
487
00:26:46,267 --> 00:26:48,110
No. We're not...
488
00:26:49,029 --> 00:26:52,907
- I'm Mr Smith. - Oh, right.
Well, who is married these days?
489
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,490
- Yeah, but we're not...
- We're not a couple.
490
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:58,842
Oh, so you're just friends,
giving her a bit of moral support?
491
00:26:58,942 --> 00:27:01,649
- Well... - No, I wouldn't say
we're friends, would you?
492
00:27:01,650 --> 00:27:07,623
No, basically the whole thing - that
is just one big massive mistake.
493
00:27:08,170 --> 00:27:11,296
- OK. But you are the father?
BOTH: - Yes.
494
00:27:11,678 --> 00:27:14,900
- Right. Well, let's get
on with it then, shall we? - Ok.
495
00:27:30,807 --> 00:27:33,135
When d'you think we'll have a baby?
496
00:27:33,354 --> 00:27:35,649
Dunno. We got to get a house first.
497
00:27:35,749 --> 00:27:38,134
Yeah, once we've got a house,
and a dog...
498
00:27:38,234 --> 00:27:41,509
- We're not having a dog, I told you.
- But why, they're lush! - They stink!
499
00:27:41,609 --> 00:27:44,586
- But we can definitely have babies?
- Yeah. Course!
500
00:27:45,021 --> 00:27:46,031
How many?
501
00:27:47,063 --> 00:27:47,868
Dunno.
502
00:27:48,101 --> 00:27:49,944
Two... three?
503
00:27:50,744 --> 00:27:52,730
Four, five, six?
504
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:59,565
There it is! It's looking good,
nice healthy size.
505
00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:05,495
There you go! Makes it all
seem real now, doesn't it?
506
00:28:13,158 --> 00:28:14,264
- Yeah. - Yeah.
507
00:28:14,265 --> 00:28:19,265
Transcript: chocolate
Sync: boomer2
508
00:28:19,315 --> 00:28:23,865
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