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1
00:00:08,287 --> 00:00:11,199
I'm crazy about you.
I started to feel like
2
00:00:11,367 --> 00:00:12,766
you didn't want to be here with me.
3
00:00:12,927 --> 00:00:15,760
Oh, gosh, nothing could be further
from the truth.
4
00:00:15,927 --> 00:00:18,236
I'll tell you something else.
5
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,246
I'm happy.
6
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:25,716
Ahh.
7
00:00:26,967 --> 00:00:31,643
I'm glad, Frasier. I'm happy too.
8
00:00:31,807 --> 00:00:34,241
I'm on vacation with my girlfriend,
Claire,
9
00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:37,001
a woman who by all conventional
measures is perfect for me,
10
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,965
and yet I've just had
a vivid sexual dream
11
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:44,405
about someone
who differs from her entirely.
12
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:47,081
It's a woman named Lana.
13
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:52,437
[CAR ENGINE RUNNING]
14
00:00:52,647 --> 00:00:55,115
Excuse me, but why
do I have to sit in the back seat?
15
00:00:55,287 --> 00:00:58,165
Seriously, my legs
are starting to cramp back here.
16
00:00:58,327 --> 00:01:00,602
No, seriously, why is she here at all?
17
00:01:01,407 --> 00:01:04,160
I have just as much right to be here
as you.
18
00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:06,158
"Here" doesn't mean the front seat.
19
00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,682
All right, listen, ladies,
we got about an hour to go.
20
00:01:08,847 --> 00:01:11,680
I would like to have a little quiet.
I'm going to turn on some music.
21
00:01:12,607 --> 00:01:15,121
[OPERA PLAYING ON RADIO]
22
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,680
[CHATTERING]
23
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,355
Morning, gang.
24
00:01:26,527 --> 00:01:27,801
MARTIN: Hi, Niles.
CLAIRE: Hello.
25
00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:29,002
How's my natural man?
26
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:31,044
Mm. As hungry as I am hairy.
27
00:01:31,207 --> 00:01:33,767
No kidding.
That goatee sure came in fast.
28
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:38,079
I know. I credit the hothouse
atmosphere of this tropical paradise.
29
00:01:38,247 --> 00:01:40,238
That and our nearly constant nudity.
30
00:01:40,407 --> 00:01:41,396
[DAPHNE LAUGHS]
31
00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:45,197
Gone is the citified dandy
of just last week.
32
00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:50,202
In his place stands a feral Caliban,
a sandy-bottomed Dionysus,
33
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:54,440
a lusty, insatiable... Oh, scones.
34
00:01:55,287 --> 00:01:58,563
- Here is your special order.
- Thank you.
35
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:02,242
Oh, I'm starving. Claire and I
have been up fishing since 5 a.m.
36
00:02:02,407 --> 00:02:04,921
You've already got more fish
than we could eat in a year.
37
00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:07,476
Oh, we didn't just fish.
We went for a swim,
38
00:02:07,647 --> 00:02:10,286
explored some caves,
watched a school of dolphins.
39
00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:13,678
But the best part was when he taught
me how to hypnotise a lobster.
40
00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:16,919
- You what?
- It's all in the eyes.
41
00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:20,556
[MARTIN AND CLAIRE LAUGH]
42
00:02:20,727 --> 00:02:21,716
[NILES CHUCKLES]
43
00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:23,684
Hey, Marty, try this.
44
00:02:25,287 --> 00:02:27,562
Mm. Not bad.
45
00:02:27,727 --> 00:02:30,480
Hey, Niles, try this pancake.
Claire had them crumble the bacon
46
00:02:30,647 --> 00:02:33,366
- right into the batter.
- Oh, I don't really like pancakes.
47
00:02:33,527 --> 00:02:36,121
Well, that's because
you're used to Daphne's. Here.
48
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,885
Oh, those are magnificent.
49
00:02:43,047 --> 00:02:44,639
And Claire invented them.
50
00:02:44,807 --> 00:02:48,038
Yes, no doubt on the seventh day
while you were resting.
51
00:02:48,207 --> 00:02:49,435
[ALL LAUGH]
52
00:02:50,927 --> 00:02:52,360
- Good morning, all.
ALL: Hi, Frasier.
53
00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:53,926
Hello, my sweet darling man.
54
00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:56,920
Ha, ha. Hello, kiddo.
55
00:02:57,087 --> 00:02:59,203
So have they found your luggage yet,
Dr. Crane?
56
00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:01,927
FRASIER:
Ha. Fat chance.
57
00:03:02,367 --> 00:03:04,437
- Souvenir of your stay?
- Oh, sure, yeah.
58
00:03:04,607 --> 00:03:06,916
- This is a brunch to remember.
FRASIER: Yeah, here we are.
59
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:10,682
NILES: It's not a vacation until dad
takes a picture of one of his meals.
60
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:14,276
Very good. Thank you very much.
Well done.
61
00:03:14,447 --> 00:03:15,800
Pick them up at the front desk.
62
00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:18,356
CLAIRE: Well, sorry to run off,
but I have to finish packing.
63
00:03:18,527 --> 00:03:20,518
- Right. Okay.
- I'll see you up in the room.
64
00:03:20,687 --> 00:03:21,756
MARTIN: Bye.
- Bye.
65
00:03:21,927 --> 00:03:26,000
- Oh, she's a real find, Fras.
- Yes, she is, isn't she?
66
00:03:26,167 --> 00:03:27,486
- Oh, excuse me.
- Yes, sir.
67
00:03:27,647 --> 00:03:29,524
Can we have another
picture of just the family?
68
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,915
- No problem.
- Thank you.
69
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:33,797
Well, what about Claire?
She's practically family.
70
00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:37,357
Oh, very much so,
but there may come a time when,
71
00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:39,722
say, she isn't.
72
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:43,480
Thank you again.
73
00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:45,797
Oh, hey, we better get going, Daph.
74
00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:47,446
We got fish to pack.
75
00:03:47,607 --> 00:03:49,040
Oh, and I didn't filet them
76
00:03:49,207 --> 00:03:52,119
because Claire
said you can use the heads for soup.
77
00:03:52,287 --> 00:03:55,597
Well, when I'm chopping them off,
I'll be thinking of her.
78
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,519
Niles, listen,
79
00:03:57,687 --> 00:03:59,723
I didn't wanna say anything
in front of the others,
80
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:02,003
but I find myself
in a bit of a quandary.
81
00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:04,840
Well, it's not so much a quandary,
really, as it's more of a pickle.
82
00:04:05,007 --> 00:04:09,364
Well, not so much a pickle,
but, well, no more than a cornichon.
83
00:04:09,527 --> 00:04:10,846
What is it?
84
00:04:11,007 --> 00:04:14,636
I think I wanna be with Lana,
not Claire.
85
00:04:14,807 --> 00:04:18,038
Forgive me, Frasier,
but that's one big-ass cornichon.
86
00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:21,165
I know, I know. I'm having a perfectly
wonderful time with Claire.
87
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:24,125
It's just that my mind
keeps drifting back to Lana.
88
00:04:24,287 --> 00:04:27,677
For God's sake, why?
She's loud, she's crass, she's...
89
00:04:27,847 --> 00:04:31,999
Yes, yes, but she's also challenging,
sexy and exciting.
90
00:04:32,167 --> 00:04:35,204
I'm just afraid I may have let go
of that too hastily.
91
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:36,641
Frasier, you do this every time.
92
00:04:36,807 --> 00:04:38,877
You are in a great relationship
with Claire.
93
00:04:39,047 --> 00:04:41,436
Don't over think it, embrace it.
94
00:04:43,327 --> 00:04:44,965
You're right, Niles.
95
00:04:45,127 --> 00:04:48,881
Thank you.
Yes, I should just go with it.
96
00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:51,083
I don't know what's wrong
with me. I don't know why
97
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:53,477
I keep insisting
on overanalyzing everything.
98
00:04:53,647 --> 00:04:55,046
Because you're crazy, that's why.
99
00:04:56,487 --> 00:04:58,478
Claire's perfect for you,
but I like her too.
100
00:04:58,647 --> 00:04:59,966
How many times does that happen?
101
00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:02,482
- But what about Lana?
MARTIN: Oh, forget Lana.
102
00:05:02,647 --> 00:05:04,638
Stay with Claire.
103
00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:09,764
Stay with Claire. Stay with Claire.
104
00:05:09,927 --> 00:05:11,838
Dad, I am not a lobster.
105
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,317
Of course I'm going to stay
with Claire.
106
00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:19,285
Just going through some momentary
doubts, and I needed your guidance.
107
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:22,162
- Glad you got what you needed.
- Thank you.
108
00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:24,717
I feel completely at ease now.
109
00:05:24,887 --> 00:05:28,641
No more doubts,
no more nagging questions.
110
00:05:28,807 --> 00:05:30,957
Just being a little overly cautious,
that's all.
111
00:05:31,127 --> 00:05:32,606
Who can blame you?
112
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,235
I'm not sure about Claire either.
113
00:05:35,407 --> 00:05:37,477
God knows she has quite the fan club
around here,
114
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:40,002
but I think you can do much better.
115
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,964
You'll know
when you meet the right person.
116
00:05:42,127 --> 00:05:44,482
You'll feel it in your gut.
117
00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:49,366
It's true.
118
00:05:49,527 --> 00:05:53,600
But, you see, I don't want
to feel like I'm leading her on.
119
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:57,077
Maybe I should tell her what I'm going
through, be completely honest.
120
00:05:57,247 --> 00:05:58,839
Whoa, that's just
what you don't wanna do.
121
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,684
So you vote for Claire?
122
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:04,041
I don't know.
123
00:06:04,207 --> 00:06:05,959
Lana has her good points
124
00:06:06,127 --> 00:06:08,960
and don't underestimate the crush
you had on her in 11th grade.
125
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:11,641
But Claire can give you
sophisticated conversation,
126
00:06:11,807 --> 00:06:13,957
and she leaves a clean area.
127
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,679
I don't envy you your choice.
128
00:06:18,327 --> 00:06:20,283
Lift your feet, please.
129
00:06:27,407 --> 00:06:28,840
Excuse me, miss,
do you have the time?
130
00:06:29,007 --> 00:06:30,725
Yes, it's... Niles?
131
00:06:30,887 --> 00:06:32,559
Yeah, mon.
132
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,240
You look...
133
00:06:35,407 --> 00:06:38,001
Did you get hit on the head
by a coconut?
134
00:06:39,127 --> 00:06:41,516
The coconut of revelation.
135
00:06:41,687 --> 00:06:43,598
I discovered a whole new side
of myself in Belize
136
00:06:43,767 --> 00:06:45,359
and I'm not going to abandon
Island Niles
137
00:06:45,527 --> 00:06:47,119
just because my vacation's over.
138
00:06:47,287 --> 00:06:50,324
Well, Island Niles
might wanna rethink the short pants.
139
00:06:51,887 --> 00:06:54,526
Island Niles would prefer
not to wear pants at all.
140
00:06:55,887 --> 00:06:58,196
You should have seen us, Roz,
out in the elements,
141
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,518
nothing on our bodies
but sun block 120.
142
00:07:02,487 --> 00:07:05,479
It was exhilarating and primal
and, frankly,
143
00:07:05,647 --> 00:07:10,482
it's disappointing to have to strap
myself back into these fabric shackles.
144
00:07:11,327 --> 00:07:14,160
So you're gonna be spending
all your time at the nude beach now?
145
00:07:15,127 --> 00:07:16,879
Seattle has a nude beach?
146
00:07:17,047 --> 00:07:20,403
Well, not officially,
but just south of Alki
147
00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:22,319
there's this little strip
near the lighthouse.
148
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,076
Thanks for the tip, Roz.
149
00:07:24,247 --> 00:07:27,523
Here's another one: Don't go on
Thursdays. It's senior-volleyball day.
150
00:07:28,687 --> 00:07:31,918
Oh, well, Roz,
I see you've met Island Niles.
151
00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:34,317
At least he did you the courtesy
of putting a shirt on.
152
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:38,241
I'm still not wearing underpants.
Hang loose.
153
00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:42,081
May I have a latte, please?
154
00:07:42,247 --> 00:07:45,080
Well, Roz, you'll be pleased to know
I have come to a decision:
155
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:48,557
- Claire it is. So long, Lana.
- Are you sure?
156
00:07:48,727 --> 00:07:51,605
Trust me. The brain is racked, the soul
is searched, the window is closed.
157
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:53,758
Claire in, Lana out.
158
00:07:53,927 --> 00:07:55,155
- I'm glad to hear it.
- Yes.
159
00:07:55,327 --> 00:07:58,160
Hey, Roz. Hi, Frasier.
160
00:07:58,327 --> 00:08:00,636
Lana, uh, hi, um.
161
00:08:00,807 --> 00:08:04,720
- Hello.
- Wow, you look great.
162
00:08:04,887 --> 00:08:08,038
Not as great as you do.
I mean, thanks, ha, ha.
163
00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:11,517
- Hey, Roz.
- Kirby.
164
00:08:11,687 --> 00:08:14,679
- It's been too long.
- No, it hasn't.
165
00:08:15,687 --> 00:08:18,281
- Or has it?
- No.
166
00:08:18,887 --> 00:08:20,002
So, what brings you here?
167
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:22,078
Well, actually,
we just picked up the invitations
168
00:08:22,247 --> 00:08:24,238
- for Kirby's graduation party.
- Oh.
169
00:08:24,407 --> 00:08:27,365
Roz, you're invited too.
After all, you motivated Kirby to study.
170
00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:29,324
Well, no,
Frasier was the one who helped him.
171
00:08:29,487 --> 00:08:31,557
I was just his last-minute prom date.
172
00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:35,117
You were the prize
that I kept my eyes on.
173
00:08:35,607 --> 00:08:39,236
And for your FYI,
I'm cool for hanging out
174
00:08:39,407 --> 00:08:43,286
just as platonic friends
or whatever.
175
00:08:43,807 --> 00:08:46,879
Um, Kirby, we should go
if we're gonna pick up your inhaler.
176
00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:49,117
Thanks a lot, Mom.
177
00:08:49,647 --> 00:08:52,081
I only need it in the fall.
178
00:08:56,247 --> 00:08:57,885
- Oh, we'll see you at the party.
- Right.
179
00:08:58,047 --> 00:08:59,605
Hey, Frasier,
don't you be a stranger.
180
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:01,723
Oh, no, I won't, uh.
181
00:09:02,487 --> 00:09:04,955
Don't you be a stranger either,
182
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,276
to me.
183
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:16,843
- Let me guess. Lana in, Claire out.
- What, that? Oh, that was nothing.
184
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:22,035
She just merely caught me off guard.
Don't go reading anything into that.
185
00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:23,606
Okay, if you say so.
186
00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:25,200
- Frasier, I gotta go.
- All right.
187
00:09:25,367 --> 00:09:29,918
But let not either us
be strangers be.
188
00:09:36,287 --> 00:09:38,118
Oh, I apologise
for the inconvenience
189
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:41,723
but, uh, at least
there's a happy ending, right?
190
00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:45,643
And my suitcase
191
00:09:46,407 --> 00:09:49,285
is inside this to keep it safe?
192
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,605
- So...
- That is not my bag.
193
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:54,361
Right. I'll keep looking.
194
00:09:57,767 --> 00:09:59,803
You been waiting here long?
195
00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:05,286
Time is irrelevant here
in the seventh circle of hell.
196
00:10:06,207 --> 00:10:09,119
The place where even despair dies.
197
00:10:09,287 --> 00:10:11,482
- Prepare yourself for a lifetime...
- Oh, here it is.
198
00:10:11,647 --> 00:10:14,844
Oh, well, how nice for you.
199
00:10:15,007 --> 00:10:18,317
Hey, you're Dr. Frasier Crane,
aren't you? I'm a big fan.
200
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,000
Oh, it's always nice to meet a fan.
201
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:23,318
Yeah, thanks. Hey, do you give advice,
you know, off the clock?
202
00:10:23,487 --> 00:10:26,206
- This isn't really a good time.
- I've gotten my life into a tangle.
203
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,916
- I'm sorry, really.
- I'm torn between these two women.
204
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,679
I'm listening.
205
00:10:32,447 --> 00:10:34,722
I'm with this woman,
her name's Kathy. She's great.
206
00:10:34,887 --> 00:10:38,118
But the only problem
is I can't stop thinking about my ex.
207
00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:41,165
I mean, she was a real handful,
but now that we're apart,
208
00:10:41,327 --> 00:10:44,364
- I just miss her like crazy.
- Of course you do.
209
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:47,121
And no matter how hard you try
to focus on this new relationship,
210
00:10:47,287 --> 00:10:51,565
- your mind keeps drifting back to her.
- Exactly. I mean, I even have these...
211
00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:53,638
- Dreams.
- Yes.
212
00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:56,002
Wow, you're good.
What should I do?
213
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:59,125
Well, what are you thinking
of doing?
214
00:10:59,287 --> 00:11:00,561
Yeah...
215
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:03,958
The classic shrink response. Um...
216
00:11:04,127 --> 00:11:05,924
I'm thinking,
217
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,243
do I really wanna break things off
with this woman?
218
00:11:08,407 --> 00:11:11,126
- Who you thought was perfect for you.
- But how perfect could she be
219
00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:12,800
if I'm obsessing
about another woman?
220
00:11:12,967 --> 00:11:16,721
- That's the conundrum.
- Am I sure enough to break her heart?
221
00:11:17,647 --> 00:11:19,956
Yes, especially when the rest
of the family just loves her.
222
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:22,800
- Yeah... No, they don't.
- No, stick with me. Stick with me.
223
00:11:23,647 --> 00:11:26,002
It all boils down to this:
224
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:28,522
Which of these two women
225
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:32,441
do you see
spending the rest of your life with?
226
00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:36,046
Right.
227
00:11:36,807 --> 00:11:38,877
Right, of course. L...
228
00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:40,721
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
229
00:11:41,407 --> 00:11:43,875
I think it's pretty obvious
what I have to do.
230
00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:45,642
What a relief.
231
00:11:45,807 --> 00:11:48,275
- Thanks, doc.
- Wait, wait. Let's go back.
232
00:11:48,487 --> 00:11:51,160
- Just so I'm sure you're sure.
- Yeah.
233
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:52,555
Who are you picking?
234
00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:56,163
My ex. I mean, if I'm really honest
with myself, she's the one I love.
235
00:11:56,327 --> 00:11:58,397
As long as I stay with Kathy,
I'm just being a jerk.
236
00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,876
Well, to be fair,
you have struggled with these issues.
237
00:12:01,047 --> 00:12:04,084
No, I've really just been trying
to have my cake and eat it too.
238
00:12:04,247 --> 00:12:07,796
Thanks, Dr. Crane.
I know what I have to do now.
239
00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:17,647
I'm sorry I'm a little late.
I'll start your lunch right away.
240
00:12:17,807 --> 00:12:18,842
Oh, no need.
241
00:12:19,007 --> 00:12:23,285
Claire made the best devilled-ham
sandwich in the history of devilling.
242
00:12:23,447 --> 00:12:25,915
Oh, too bad I missed her.
243
00:12:26,087 --> 00:12:27,645
More good news: She's still here.
244
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:31,325
- Here you go, Marty.
- Oh, thanks, toots.
245
00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:34,604
Claire, I can't imagine
you came all the way over here
246
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,645
- just to make sandwiches.
- Oh, no. Here, let me take those.
247
00:12:37,807 --> 00:12:40,480
I'm making fish jerky.
248
00:12:41,047 --> 00:12:43,845
You know the secret
to making fish jerky, don't you, Marty?
249
00:12:44,007 --> 00:12:44,996
No idea.
250
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:48,159
- Feed them coffee.
- Feed them...
251
00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:51,478
That's terrific. You hear that, Daph?
252
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:53,638
I'm standing right here.
253
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,682
And don't you love her laugh?
It's like music.
254
00:12:56,847 --> 00:12:58,838
Marty, you are just the sweetest.
255
00:12:59,007 --> 00:13:00,645
[CLAIRE LAUGHING]
256
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:04,442
You used to think my accent
sounded musical, didn't you?
257
00:13:04,607 --> 00:13:07,724
- Marty?
- Yeah, but now I'm used to it.
258
00:13:10,007 --> 00:13:11,838
- Afternoon, Daphne, Dad.
- Niles.
259
00:13:12,007 --> 00:13:14,601
What happened
to my noble savage?
260
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:16,758
I'll tell you what happened.
261
00:13:16,927 --> 00:13:19,202
Roz told me about this wonderful
nude beach
262
00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:21,597
so I went down there this morning
to check it out for us.
263
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,486
Well, it was so peaceful,
I decided to do my sunrise tai chi,
264
00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:28,162
have my naked body caressed
by the rosy fingers of the new dawn.
265
00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:29,362
Oh, jeez.
266
00:13:29,527 --> 00:13:31,677
Well, I left my clothing
and my cares in the car,
267
00:13:31,847 --> 00:13:33,917
walked down to the beach
for my first exercise,
268
00:13:34,087 --> 00:13:35,361
Grasping the Bird's Tail.
269
00:13:38,807 --> 00:13:41,275
Just at that moment, the sun
peaked over the mountaintops,
270
00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:43,403
illuminating
not only my splendid nakedness,
271
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,798
but the bus
for the Christian Women's Society.
272
00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,764
They went to a nude beach?
273
00:13:49,207 --> 00:13:51,277
No, and neither did I.
274
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:55,438
So the next few minutes are a blur as I
zigzagged my way back to the car,
275
00:13:55,607 --> 00:13:58,883
being pelted with driftwood
and Bibles.
276
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:02,365
Needless to say,
Island Niles died on that beach.
277
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:04,438
Oh, honey.
278
00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:08,316
- Will he ever be back?
- Maybe at Christmas.
279
00:14:10,527 --> 00:14:12,757
- Hello, all.
- Hey.
280
00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:14,958
Oh, Niles, welcome back.
281
00:14:17,007 --> 00:14:17,996
Hi, Frasier.
282
00:14:18,447 --> 00:14:20,358
- Claire.
- Did you get your luggage?
283
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:24,076
Uh, no, they didn't have it, uh.
284
00:14:24,327 --> 00:14:26,318
Could I see you in the kitchen
for a minute?
285
00:14:26,487 --> 00:14:27,556
Sure.
286
00:14:27,727 --> 00:14:29,001
Okay, Mr. Crane,
287
00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:31,317
- it's time for your exercises.
- Already did them.
288
00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:33,842
Oh, when have you ever done
your exercises before lunch?
289
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,235
Claire and I did them together.
290
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:37,238
She has a way of making them
seem like fun.
291
00:14:37,407 --> 00:14:41,320
Yeah, well, if they're fun,
they're not really working, but all right.
292
00:14:42,207 --> 00:14:44,801
- Actually, Claire says...
- Oh, shut up.
293
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:50,155
If we need privacy
it's either very good or very bad.
294
00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:53,439
Well, it's not so good, I'm afraid.
295
00:14:54,007 --> 00:14:56,680
I realise this is sudden.
296
00:14:56,847 --> 00:14:59,839
It's just that I've been tossing
and turning for several days
297
00:15:00,007 --> 00:15:02,043
and I just can't keep going like this.
298
00:15:02,207 --> 00:15:04,163
What are you talking about?
299
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:07,955
Well, Claire, I'm talking about...
300
00:15:08,847 --> 00:15:11,486
parting ways. I'm sorry.
301
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:14,203
It's over?
302
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,721
Just like that?
303
00:15:15,887 --> 00:15:19,323
Claire, I realise how painful
this must be for you.
304
00:15:19,487 --> 00:15:20,476
Ow.
305
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:23,161
- You kicked me.
- Well, you dumped me.
306
00:15:23,527 --> 00:15:25,882
I said I was sorry.
307
00:15:26,207 --> 00:15:27,606
Ow.
308
00:15:28,407 --> 00:15:31,717
Well, I guess I'll go home
and take down the hammock.
309
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,798
I love you, darling.
310
00:15:34,207 --> 00:15:35,322
I love you too.
311
00:15:35,487 --> 00:15:36,476
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
312
00:15:38,487 --> 00:15:41,445
Hello? Hello, Roz.
313
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,279
The wrong beach?
Thanks for the warning.
314
00:15:43,447 --> 00:15:44,800
That would've been embarrassing.
315
00:15:49,127 --> 00:15:50,765
Well, see you later.
316
00:15:50,927 --> 00:15:54,158
Well, actually you won't.
Frasier just dumped me.
317
00:15:54,607 --> 00:15:56,598
What? What happened?
318
00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:59,520
I honestly don't know.
I was having such a good time
319
00:15:59,687 --> 00:16:02,247
and now I'm out here.
320
00:16:02,407 --> 00:16:05,205
I don't even know what went wrong.
321
00:16:05,367 --> 00:16:07,403
Oh, um...
322
00:16:07,727 --> 00:16:09,206
I'm sorry.
323
00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:13,197
I really liked him.
I liked all of you so much.
324
00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:16,803
I was starting to feel like
part of the family. I was...
325
00:16:17,487 --> 00:16:19,682
...hoping we'd end up like sisters.
326
00:16:20,367 --> 00:16:22,085
Sisters?
327
00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,683
I never had a sister.
328
00:16:24,847 --> 00:16:26,326
Just brothers.
329
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:28,156
Same here.
330
00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:29,362
[BOTH CRYING]
331
00:16:31,847 --> 00:16:32,882
What the hell happened?
332
00:16:33,047 --> 00:16:35,402
Claire just ran out of here
without even saying goodbye.
333
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,000
- We broke up.
- What?
334
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:39,522
Well, I broke up with her.
335
00:16:39,687 --> 00:16:42,360
You are a piece of work, aren't you?
336
00:16:42,527 --> 00:16:45,166
You just couldn't stand a good thing,
could you?
337
00:16:45,327 --> 00:16:47,124
I bet you were planning on this
since Belize.
338
00:16:47,287 --> 00:16:49,437
- I have not.
- Oh, don't give me that.
339
00:16:49,607 --> 00:16:51,279
You did the same thing
you always do.
340
00:16:51,447 --> 00:16:54,484
You go asking everybody's advice
then do whatever the hell you want.
341
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,286
And it's usually wrong, by the way.
342
00:16:57,807 --> 00:16:59,684
Look, I was just being true
to my feelings, Dad.
343
00:16:59,847 --> 00:17:02,156
- There's no reason to be mad at me.
- I'm not mad at you.
344
00:17:02,327 --> 00:17:03,726
I'm mad at myself.
345
00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:07,357
I knew this was coming
and I let myself get attached.
346
00:17:08,487 --> 00:17:11,206
Well, I'm sorry, Dad. Claire's great.
347
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,085
It's just she's not the right person
for me.
348
00:17:13,247 --> 00:17:15,203
Daphne knows. Will you tell him?
349
00:17:15,687 --> 00:17:17,120
Ow.
350
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:23,125
Would you people stop doing that?
Ow.
351
00:17:26,807 --> 00:17:30,720
Oh, come in.
Oh, you didn't have to do this.
352
00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:32,718
- Told you.
- Yeah, all right.
353
00:17:34,607 --> 00:17:36,404
I sense a scholar in our midst.
354
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:37,636
[LAUGHS]
355
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,480
Congratulations, Kirby.
Let's see the sheepskin.
356
00:17:40,647 --> 00:17:43,957
Dude, wait until the party
gets going a little.
357
00:17:49,007 --> 00:17:52,363
Good thinking.
I'll just see what your mother's doing.
358
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:54,239
- Hey, Roz.
- Kirby.
359
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,637
Got our prom pictures back.
360
00:17:57,647 --> 00:18:01,606
I had them retouched a little.
You're smiling in them now.
361
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:05,766
I notice you also have your hand
on my ass.
362
00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:07,485
Where?
363
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,643
Oh, you mean now.
364
00:18:13,207 --> 00:18:15,243
Do you not like it?
365
00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:20,039
You know, I'm having a devil of a time
with this cheese can. L...
366
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:23,040
Well, you just hold the nozzle
close to the cracker
367
00:18:23,207 --> 00:18:25,767
so you make a little flower
like this.
368
00:18:25,927 --> 00:18:27,599
- Oh.
- Here, try one.
369
00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:32,686
Mm. Oh.
370
00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:38,957
I can honestly say that is
the best canned cheese I've ever had.
371
00:18:43,367 --> 00:18:46,916
Lana, listen, there's something
I'd like to talk with you about.
372
00:18:47,087 --> 00:18:49,362
If this is about Claire,
I already know.
373
00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:50,880
Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry.
374
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:55,325
- I think she's perfectly wonderful girl.
- Frasier. You don't have to explain.
375
00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:59,366
I mean, sometimes
you just don't feel it. That's okay.
376
00:18:59,527 --> 00:19:00,960
Really?
377
00:19:01,127 --> 00:19:03,687
- I thought you'd be mad at me.
- Well, why would I be mad?
378
00:19:04,247 --> 00:19:06,761
I mean, it's not like I get a commission
on every match I make.
379
00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:07,916
[BOTH LAUGH]
380
00:19:08,727 --> 00:19:10,285
So we're okay?
381
00:19:11,087 --> 00:19:13,123
Well, sure we're okay.
382
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:15,723
We're better than okay.
383
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:18,196
Right. Better than okay.
384
00:19:18,367 --> 00:19:21,120
GIRL:
You total slut.
385
00:19:21,287 --> 00:19:24,484
Oh. Oh, no, Roz, uh.
386
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:28,518
You told me not to come because this
was just gonna be some boring party
387
00:19:28,687 --> 00:19:30,086
with your mom's friends.
388
00:19:30,247 --> 00:19:33,045
- Roz is my mom's friend.
- She was your prom date.
389
00:19:33,967 --> 00:19:35,685
Damn, baby,
why you gotta be this way?
390
00:19:35,847 --> 00:19:37,041
I'm trying to show you respect
391
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:39,767
by keeping you from seeing
my other lady.
392
00:19:41,087 --> 00:19:44,079
- I was never his lady.
- Damn, baby, that's cold.
393
00:19:45,487 --> 00:19:47,398
She's old enough to be your mother,
practically.
394
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:50,240
Damn, baby, now that's cold.
395
00:19:50,407 --> 00:19:52,045
Whatever.
396
00:19:54,247 --> 00:19:56,602
Wow, that did not go so great.
397
00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,884
Well, those things rarely do, Kirby.
398
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:01,916
Hey, buddy.
399
00:20:02,087 --> 00:20:04,157
- Dad, you're here.
- I wouldn't miss it for anything.
400
00:20:04,327 --> 00:20:06,079
Where's Mom?
I really need to talk to her.
401
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,965
- I'll go get her.
- Okay.
402
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:11,437
Wow, small world.
What are you doing here?
403
00:20:18,287 --> 00:20:20,243
So how do you know Kirby?
404
00:20:20,407 --> 00:20:22,523
Well, I was his tutor.
405
00:20:22,687 --> 00:20:25,247
Yow, how much I owe you for that?
406
00:20:25,527 --> 00:20:28,564
No, no, it was a pleasure, really.
407
00:20:29,327 --> 00:20:30,555
So you're Kirby's dad.
408
00:20:31,047 --> 00:20:35,359
Lana's ex who ran off
with the dental hygienist.
409
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,280
But you can call me Bob.
410
00:20:40,887 --> 00:20:43,276
I take it Lana
filled you in about our divorce.
411
00:20:43,447 --> 00:20:47,122
Yes, I was a shoulder for her. Briefly.
I think she's completely over you now.
412
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,357
I hope not.
I mean, I really want her back.
413
00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:51,483
I'll do whatever
to show her I'm a changed man.
414
00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:54,719
Listen, Bob,
I don't think that's a very good idea.
415
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,605
Well, but you said at the airport
416
00:20:56,767 --> 00:20:58,325
- I should...
- Yes, I know l... Oh, Roz.
417
00:20:58,487 --> 00:21:00,159
Roz, listen, I'd like you meet Bob.
418
00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:03,319
Bob, this is Roz Doyle,
the brilliant producer of my radio show.
419
00:21:03,487 --> 00:21:05,478
- Oh, gee, thanks, Frasier.
- Oh, of course.
420
00:21:05,647 --> 00:21:08,480
Beauty and brains, huh?
421
00:21:08,647 --> 00:21:11,207
Who said God doesn't give
with both hands?
422
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:16,766
And, Roz, I believe, if I'm not mistaken,
that you're available right now?
423
00:21:17,687 --> 00:21:18,802
Maybe.
424
00:21:20,287 --> 00:21:22,164
So, what brings you
to this little soir�e?
425
00:21:22,327 --> 00:21:26,206
Well, I'm Kirby's dad and Lana's ex,
although hopefully not for long.
426
00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:29,404
Thanks to this man,
I've decided to follow my heart
427
00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:31,797
and come back for the woman
I really love.
428
00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:33,844
Oh, really?
429
00:21:34,007 --> 00:21:38,364
LANA: Kirby, what is it?
- You'll see. You'll see.
430
00:21:38,887 --> 00:21:41,321
Oh, crap.
431
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:45,639
Well, there goes that.
432
00:21:46,287 --> 00:21:48,847
You gave it your best try, Bob.
433
00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:52,602
In the words of Tennyson... Bob?
434
00:21:52,767 --> 00:21:54,997
- Damn.
- You jerk.
435
00:21:55,167 --> 00:21:59,319
I am not some man-bait that you can
just set out whenever it suits you.
436
00:21:59,487 --> 00:22:01,000
I know. I'm sorry. I was desperate.
437
00:22:01,167 --> 00:22:03,044
For God's sakes
I just ended things with Claire.
438
00:22:03,207 --> 00:22:06,040
Now I'm here to pursue Lana, and then
he shows up. Everything's ruined.
439
00:22:06,207 --> 00:22:10,200
LANA: Why don't you just leave?
You're good at that. Just go!
440
00:22:10,367 --> 00:22:12,676
- I'll call you later, son.
- You can't quit now, Dad.
441
00:22:12,847 --> 00:22:15,805
If you're gonna come back,
you gotta get used to her screaming.
442
00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:24,520
You know, as ugly as that was,
443
00:22:24,687 --> 00:22:26,803
things couldn't have worked out
any better for you.
444
00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:30,118
I mean, she's vulnerable,
there's a full bar,
445
00:22:30,287 --> 00:22:32,721
she's already in the bedroom.
446
00:22:34,807 --> 00:22:37,560
Almost takes the sport out of it.
447
00:22:46,087 --> 00:22:48,396
I know you must be upset, Kirby.
448
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,798
The guy just wants to talk to her,
and she gets completely bent.
449
00:22:52,487 --> 00:22:54,523
- I know.
- I know it's a clich�, okay?
450
00:22:54,687 --> 00:22:57,565
I just... I really want
my parents to get back together.
451
00:22:58,847 --> 00:23:00,565
I wish I could help.
452
00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:02,126
You could talk to my mother.
453
00:23:02,287 --> 00:23:04,437
You could tell her
to give him another chance.
454
00:23:04,607 --> 00:23:07,963
Oh, I don't think I'm the guy
for that job.
455
00:23:08,367 --> 00:23:10,278
Talking to people is your job.
456
00:23:10,927 --> 00:23:13,919
- You could try.
- No, I can't.
457
00:23:14,087 --> 00:23:15,076
Can't?
458
00:23:15,247 --> 00:23:17,522
I seem to recall a young pupil
named Kirby.
459
00:23:17,687 --> 00:23:20,679
He said "I can't,"
nary but months ago.
460
00:23:20,847 --> 00:23:24,726
But a certain man named
Dr. Frasier Crane taught that pupil
461
00:23:24,887 --> 00:23:27,685
that he can do
whatever he sets his mind to.
462
00:23:27,847 --> 00:23:30,884
And the name of that man was you.
463
00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:38,400
[KNOCKING]
464
00:23:41,527 --> 00:23:44,246
Well, Bob's left.
465
00:23:45,047 --> 00:23:46,082
Are you all right?
466
00:23:47,207 --> 00:23:50,483
I have waited over a year
for that man to come back to me.
467
00:23:50,647 --> 00:23:53,480
And when I finally get to the point
where I never want to see him again,
468
00:23:53,647 --> 00:23:55,205
he walks through the door.
469
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:58,165
But you're...
You're much stronger now,
470
00:23:58,327 --> 00:24:02,639
and it'd take a lot more than
just showing up to change your mind.
471
00:24:02,927 --> 00:24:06,806
Well, to be fair,
he did try to apologise.
472
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:10,516
I mean, what else can he do?
He can't take the whole last year back.
473
00:24:10,687 --> 00:24:13,281
No, he can't.
474
00:24:14,847 --> 00:24:16,917
Can I ask you something?
475
00:24:17,407 --> 00:24:19,045
In your opinion as a psychiatrist,
476
00:24:19,207 --> 00:24:22,438
once you've lost trust,
can you ever get it back?
477
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:28,279
Well, it would take work,
a lot of work.
478
00:24:30,047 --> 00:24:32,515
Think about it, Lana.
479
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:38,044
You could have
a whole new life now.
480
00:24:40,167 --> 00:24:41,885
I could.
481
00:24:43,207 --> 00:24:45,038
I'm just so confused.
482
00:24:45,207 --> 00:24:49,280
Frasier, you are the only man
I can trust right now.
483
00:24:49,847 --> 00:24:52,202
Tell me what to do.
484
00:24:56,367 --> 00:24:57,959
Well...
485
00:24:58,967 --> 00:25:00,764
The truth is...
486
00:25:02,007 --> 00:25:03,440
You wouldn't be having this crisis
487
00:25:03,607 --> 00:25:08,237
if you didn't still have feelings
for Bob.
488
00:25:09,927 --> 00:25:11,883
You should talk to him.
489
00:25:12,607 --> 00:25:15,838
You owe it to yourself
to hear him out.
490
00:25:21,807 --> 00:25:25,004
I just want you to know, Frasier,
that no matter what happens,
491
00:25:25,167 --> 00:25:26,919
you are a really good...
492
00:25:27,087 --> 00:25:30,204
Don't. Don't use the F-word.
493
00:25:30,367 --> 00:25:35,236
I wasn't about to.
I was gonna say we're friends.
494
00:25:35,407 --> 00:25:36,442
[LAUGHS]
495
00:25:43,687 --> 00:25:45,325
Great pot roast, Daph.
496
00:25:45,487 --> 00:25:48,718
Well, thanks, Mr. Crane. I used
turnips and pearl onions for the gra...
497
00:25:48,887 --> 00:25:53,403
Oh, what's the use? This place'll
never be the same without Claire.
498
00:25:53,567 --> 00:25:54,761
We all miss her, Dad.
499
00:25:54,927 --> 00:25:56,440
No one misses her more than me.
500
00:25:56,607 --> 00:25:59,075
She could have been
the sister I never had.
501
00:26:00,647 --> 00:26:03,115
- Do you think we can call her?
- What would we say?
502
00:26:03,287 --> 00:26:05,562
She's probably out on a date
with somebody else.
503
00:26:05,727 --> 00:26:08,844
Well, maybe not.
Let's just see if she's home.
504
00:26:14,567 --> 00:26:15,716
Put it on speaker.
505
00:26:15,887 --> 00:26:16,956
[PHONE RINGING]
506
00:26:18,167 --> 00:26:20,362
- You do the talking.
- No. Daphne should.
507
00:26:20,527 --> 00:26:22,245
I don't know what to say.
508
00:26:22,407 --> 00:26:24,238
CLAIRE [ON PHONE]:
Hello?
509
00:26:27,407 --> 00:26:29,159
Hello?
510
00:26:34,487 --> 00:26:35,840
Well, that was childish.
511
00:26:36,007 --> 00:26:37,281
[PHONE RINGING]
512
00:26:39,047 --> 00:26:41,481
She star-69'd us. Don't answer it.
513
00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:46,678
[PHONE RINGING]
514
00:26:48,767 --> 00:26:50,246
You all gone deaf?
515
00:26:50,407 --> 00:26:51,840
Isn't someone gonna answer that?
516
00:26:52,007 --> 00:26:53,804
You're up.
517
00:26:54,967 --> 00:26:56,559
Hello?
518
00:26:56,727 --> 00:26:57,716
Claire.
519
00:26:58,687 --> 00:27:00,484
I did not call you. You called me.
520
00:27:00,927 --> 00:27:02,440
I did not.
521
00:27:02,607 --> 00:27:04,757
I did not. I did...
522
00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:08,476
Hello?
What the hell was that all about?
523
00:27:08,647 --> 00:27:11,366
Beats me.
She always was a little nutty.
524
00:27:12,647 --> 00:27:14,239
Hey, how did things go with Lana?
525
00:27:14,407 --> 00:27:18,195
Oh, I think she's going back
to her ex-husband.
526
00:27:18,647 --> 00:27:20,922
He showed up at the party.
527
00:27:21,087 --> 00:27:25,365
I ended up counselling her
to give him a second chance.
528
00:27:25,607 --> 00:27:27,359
It was the noble thing to do.
529
00:27:27,527 --> 00:27:30,599
Though my honour
won't keep me warm at night.
530
00:27:30,767 --> 00:27:32,678
Guess it just wasn't meant to be.
531
00:27:32,847 --> 00:27:34,326
But don't give up.
532
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:36,603
- There's a lid for every pot.
- Mm-hm, that's right.
533
00:27:36,767 --> 00:27:38,166
Good things come to those who wait.
534
00:27:38,327 --> 00:27:39,965
And there's plenty of fish in the sea.
535
00:27:40,127 --> 00:27:42,687
Dear God,
I will choke on another platitude.
536
00:27:42,847 --> 00:27:45,441
Please, can't you think of something
helpful to say for once?
537
00:27:45,607 --> 00:27:47,757
Well, I'm sorry if the material
isn't fresh anymore.
538
00:27:47,927 --> 00:27:49,485
It's not easy
coming up with happy talk
539
00:27:49,647 --> 00:27:52,719
every time you can't make it work
with a woman.
540
00:27:54,647 --> 00:27:56,524
Every time I can't make it work
with a woman?
541
00:27:56,687 --> 00:27:58,439
That's right.
We wouldn't be in this situation
542
00:27:58,607 --> 00:28:00,837
- if you hadn't blown it with Claire.
- Is that so?
543
00:28:01,527 --> 00:28:02,755
Do you all feel this way?
544
00:28:02,927 --> 00:28:05,157
- I'll clear.
- I'll help.
545
00:28:05,967 --> 00:28:07,605
I see.
546
00:28:07,767 --> 00:28:11,157
My own family has turned on me
in my darkest hour.
547
00:28:11,327 --> 00:28:14,922
After a day of personal torment,
I stagger homeward,
548
00:28:15,087 --> 00:28:19,478
chap-fallen, in search of comfort
in the bosom of my family.
549
00:28:19,647 --> 00:28:21,638
But do they indulge me
and permit me to suckle?
550
00:28:21,807 --> 00:28:24,002
No. Instead, they...
551
00:28:29,607 --> 00:28:31,882
Well, I've said my piece.
552
00:28:36,767 --> 00:28:40,282
[PHONE RINGING]
553
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:42,479
Hello?
554
00:28:42,647 --> 00:28:44,444
Yes, hi, Niles.
555
00:28:44,607 --> 00:28:48,202
Listen, I'm fine, actually.
L... I just need a little time alone.
556
00:28:48,367 --> 00:28:51,404
Yes, I'll, I'll see you in a day or two.
557
00:28:52,007 --> 00:28:54,521
No, there's no need to put Dad on.
558
00:28:54,687 --> 00:28:57,759
He's already consoled me enough
as it is.
559
00:29:01,167 --> 00:29:04,523
"Every time I can't make it work
with a woman."
560
00:29:04,687 --> 00:29:05,961
What the hell does he know?
561
00:29:06,127 --> 00:29:07,958
LILITH:
He's not wrong, Frasier.
562
00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:11,324
Yes, he is.
563
00:29:11,487 --> 00:29:13,682
It wasn't that I couldn't make it work
with Lana.
564
00:29:13,847 --> 00:29:16,520
I simply stepped aside when
the father of her children showed up,
565
00:29:16,687 --> 00:29:18,439
like the decent human being I am.
566
00:29:18,607 --> 00:29:21,121
And, speaking on behalf
of your subconscious,
567
00:29:21,287 --> 00:29:24,757
because you realised
the relationship was destined to fail.
568
00:29:24,927 --> 00:29:26,440
And why would that be?
569
00:29:26,607 --> 00:29:28,359
Lana could have been
perfect for me.
570
00:29:28,887 --> 00:29:31,162
Is that something you just say
out of habit now?
571
00:29:31,327 --> 00:29:32,316
No.
572
00:29:32,487 --> 00:29:35,479
Because two weeks ago
the title belonged to Claire.
573
00:29:35,887 --> 00:29:39,038
Claire was perfect.
I just wasn't in love with her.
574
00:29:39,847 --> 00:29:42,315
The heart has a mind of its own,
they say.
575
00:29:43,007 --> 00:29:45,157
Or perhaps she wasn't needy enough
for you.
576
00:29:45,327 --> 00:29:47,204
You have been known
to love a project.
577
00:29:47,847 --> 00:29:49,599
Oh, please.
578
00:29:49,767 --> 00:29:52,998
I have never found neediness
to be an attractive quality in a woman.
579
00:29:53,167 --> 00:29:55,078
Never?
580
00:29:56,647 --> 00:29:58,205
Never.
581
00:29:58,367 --> 00:30:00,961
Neediness was the very reason
it didn't work with Diane.
582
00:30:01,727 --> 00:30:05,879
Specifically,
her need for another man.
583
00:30:06,047 --> 00:30:09,198
But you were attracted to her, initially,
because her weakness allowed you
584
00:30:09,367 --> 00:30:11,164
to play the role of noble rescuer.
585
00:30:11,327 --> 00:30:14,160
Excuse me, I have to object
to the word "weakness."
586
00:30:14,327 --> 00:30:18,002
I was challenging, yet vulnerable,
587
00:30:18,167 --> 00:30:20,635
which is why Frasier saw me
as the perfect woman for him.
588
00:30:20,807 --> 00:30:23,275
- Still does.
- I do not.
589
00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:26,007
Then why am I in the car?
590
00:30:26,167 --> 00:30:28,681
Perhaps you represent
a happier time in my life.
591
00:30:28,847 --> 00:30:30,041
[LILITH SCOFFS]
592
00:30:31,047 --> 00:30:35,086
Frasier, do you remember
the time we drove down the Cape
593
00:30:35,247 --> 00:30:37,681
and had a lobster picnic on the bluff?
594
00:30:37,847 --> 00:30:40,042
We had nothing
to crack open the claws,
595
00:30:40,207 --> 00:30:45,361
so Frasier put them in a bag
and ran over them with the car.
596
00:30:45,527 --> 00:30:46,755
That didn't work either.
597
00:30:46,927 --> 00:30:48,485
[DIANE LAUGHS]
598
00:30:48,647 --> 00:30:52,162
Oh, we gave up
and made glorious love in the dunes.
599
00:30:52,887 --> 00:30:53,876
DIANE:
Hm.
600
00:30:54,047 --> 00:30:55,321
Wait a minute.
601
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:57,523
Wasn't that me?
602
00:30:58,527 --> 00:31:00,597
Right, that was you.
603
00:31:01,287 --> 00:31:03,926
Well, then what do I represent?
604
00:31:04,087 --> 00:31:06,078
I don't know and I don't care.
605
00:31:06,247 --> 00:31:08,317
Now if you don't mind,
I'd like a little peace.
606
00:31:10,287 --> 00:31:11,959
Oh, dear God, not her.
607
00:31:13,287 --> 00:31:15,960
DIANE:
That person's not wearing shoes.
608
00:31:16,127 --> 00:31:18,960
That's Nanette, his first wife.
609
00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:21,277
She's going to get hookworm.
610
00:31:22,487 --> 00:31:24,523
He's obviously dredging up
past relationships
611
00:31:24,687 --> 00:31:26,120
in order to identify a pattern.
612
00:31:26,647 --> 00:31:29,605
Why, Frasier Crane,
you were a hippie.
613
00:31:29,767 --> 00:31:30,916
I was twenty.
614
00:31:31,087 --> 00:31:33,555
That was during my impulsive,
rebellious phase.
615
00:31:34,087 --> 00:31:37,159
DIANE:
Oh, pick her up. You can't ignore her.
616
00:31:37,327 --> 00:31:39,557
FRASIER:
She's not a part of who I am anymore.
617
00:31:39,727 --> 00:31:41,797
[GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
618
00:31:42,087 --> 00:31:43,998
Do you remember that song?
619
00:31:44,167 --> 00:31:45,839
Apparently I do.
620
00:31:46,007 --> 00:31:48,521
He composed it in college.
It's how we met.
621
00:31:48,687 --> 00:31:50,962
He wrote it as a poem
and was reciting it one night
622
00:31:51,127 --> 00:31:54,358
at the Human Collective,
when I joined in with my guitar.
623
00:31:54,527 --> 00:31:56,324
- Would you like to hear it?
- No.
624
00:31:56,487 --> 00:31:58,079
DIANE: Yes, please.
LILITH: Oh, yes.
625
00:31:58,247 --> 00:32:01,956
It's called, "Bangladesh,
Dacca Before the Dawn."
626
00:32:02,127 --> 00:32:04,766
[GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING]
627
00:32:04,967 --> 00:32:10,917
I dreamt that I was ridingA candy unicorn
628
00:32:11,087 --> 00:32:14,159
As I went to meet my lady
629
00:32:14,327 --> 00:32:19,321
In the dewdrop-crystal morn
630
00:32:21,647 --> 00:32:23,399
The Bangladesh part's coming.
631
00:32:32,767 --> 00:32:33,836
Oh.
632
00:32:34,967 --> 00:32:36,036
Solitude.
633
00:32:36,847 --> 00:32:38,360
This is what I needed.
634
00:32:38,527 --> 00:32:39,801
DIANE:
Perhaps.
635
00:32:39,967 --> 00:32:41,719
But, to quote Lord Byron:
636
00:32:41,887 --> 00:32:45,436
"It is in solitude
where we are least alone."
637
00:32:45,607 --> 00:32:48,565
It smells like dirt out there. Whoa.
638
00:32:50,007 --> 00:32:53,556
Before Frasier sold out, we always
dreamed of having a home like this,
639
00:32:53,727 --> 00:32:55,843
where we'd be
surrounded by nature,
640
00:32:56,007 --> 00:33:00,603
and need only the food that we grew
and the shelter of each other's arms.
641
00:33:00,767 --> 00:33:03,520
Amazing that marriage
didn't work out.
642
00:33:04,687 --> 00:33:06,678
She was probably great in the sack.
643
00:33:06,847 --> 00:33:09,725
Actually,
I made a lot of distracting noises.
644
00:33:11,127 --> 00:33:14,597
All right, all right.
This has been a lot of fun.
645
00:33:14,767 --> 00:33:16,997
But what's it gonna take
to get you people out of my head?
646
00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,237
Well, a little self-examination
might do it.
647
00:33:19,407 --> 00:33:22,444
Fine. I'm a failure in love.
I failed with all of you.
648
00:33:22,607 --> 00:33:25,485
I failed with Lana and with Claire,
and with countless others in between.
649
00:33:25,647 --> 00:33:28,241
- Happy?
- Failure is a result, not a cause.
650
00:33:28,407 --> 00:33:30,875
- What's at the core?
- Perhaps there is no core.
651
00:33:31,047 --> 00:33:34,005
Maybe fate is just conspiring
against me. Did you ever think of that?
652
00:33:34,167 --> 00:33:35,805
No, there's no such thing as fate.
653
00:33:35,967 --> 00:33:40,119
If that were true,
there'd be no such thing as astrology.
654
00:33:42,247 --> 00:33:45,000
More avoidance, Frasier.
Try to focus.
655
00:33:45,167 --> 00:33:49,399
I just had a thought.
Maybe it isn't Frasier's fault.
656
00:33:49,567 --> 00:33:53,162
Oh, denial, how nice to see you.
657
00:33:54,407 --> 00:33:56,284
Frasier? It's your women.
658
00:33:56,447 --> 00:33:58,324
We leave you. It's in our nature.
659
00:33:58,487 --> 00:34:00,398
- I left you.
- Yes, you did.
660
00:34:00,567 --> 00:34:01,886
You left me for Sam.
661
00:34:02,327 --> 00:34:04,557
I left Sam too.
662
00:34:04,727 --> 00:34:06,160
Diane, we're talking about Frasier.
663
00:34:06,327 --> 00:34:08,716
When we're inside your head,
we'll talk about you.
664
00:34:11,047 --> 00:34:15,165
I'm just saying that his women leave.
665
00:34:15,767 --> 00:34:17,883
- You did too.
- So did I.
666
00:34:18,047 --> 00:34:20,038
That's right. You all did.
667
00:34:20,207 --> 00:34:22,675
Oh, and poor Frasier,
and you keep on trying.
668
00:34:22,847 --> 00:34:25,805
He can't help it.
He's a hopeless romantic.
669
00:34:26,367 --> 00:34:28,676
DIANE:
Frasier, when are you going to learn?
670
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:30,566
[SINGING]
Falling in love with love
671
00:34:30,727 --> 00:34:33,195
Is falling for make-believe
672
00:34:34,127 --> 00:34:35,196
Falling in love with love...
673
00:34:35,367 --> 00:34:38,120
What's wrong with following your
heart? Just because we left him,
674
00:34:38,287 --> 00:34:41,199
doesn't mean the perfect woman
isn't out there somewhere.
675
00:34:41,367 --> 00:34:44,120
That's the problem. Frasier thinks
every woman is the perfect woman,
676
00:34:44,287 --> 00:34:46,596
until he finds the deal-breaking flaw.
It's...
677
00:34:46,767 --> 00:34:47,756
[DIANE SINGING]
678
00:34:47,927 --> 00:34:50,885
Lt... Can you make that stop?
679
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:52,719
I'm sorry, it's stuck in my head.
680
00:34:52,887 --> 00:34:56,357
[DIANE SINGING]
I was unwise with eyes unable to see
681
00:34:56,527 --> 00:34:57,516
Thank you.
682
00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:02,361
It's that quest for perfection
which ultimately defeats you
683
00:35:02,527 --> 00:35:05,917
because the perfect woman
does not exist.
684
00:35:06,087 --> 00:35:08,920
- Speak for yourself.
- Mother.
685
00:35:09,487 --> 00:35:12,877
For such a short trip,
you sure brought a lot of baggage.
686
00:35:13,047 --> 00:35:14,560
What are you doing here?
687
00:35:14,727 --> 00:35:16,206
You have to ask? You're a Freudian.
688
00:35:19,007 --> 00:35:21,840
You've spent your whole life
trying to replace me.
689
00:35:22,007 --> 00:35:23,486
But it's completely understandable.
690
00:35:23,647 --> 00:35:25,205
I was your first love.
691
00:35:25,367 --> 00:35:27,801
Ladies, meet the competition.
692
00:35:27,967 --> 00:35:30,720
This is the woman against whom
we have all been measured.
693
00:35:30,887 --> 00:35:32,286
Lilith, will you please be quiet?
694
00:35:32,447 --> 00:35:34,403
Mother is speaking.
695
00:35:37,247 --> 00:35:41,206
So a lifetime of collecting women,
and this is the cream of the crop:
696
00:35:41,367 --> 00:35:43,835
The slacker, the barmaid
and the icicle.
697
00:35:45,567 --> 00:35:47,398
I was so relieved when they left you.
698
00:35:47,567 --> 00:35:49,125
You left him too.
699
00:35:49,287 --> 00:35:52,643
Oh, I had no choice.
Perhaps you heard? I died.
700
00:35:53,447 --> 00:35:55,403
Now let's get down to work,
shall we?
701
00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:57,956
We were doing perfectly well
before you got here.
702
00:35:58,127 --> 00:36:00,766
Well, if your bargain-basement
psychiatry was so effective,
703
00:36:00,927 --> 00:36:03,157
why did he have to call in
the big guns?
704
00:36:03,607 --> 00:36:06,405
Now, let's explore the inner recesses
of your psyche,
705
00:36:06,567 --> 00:36:08,478
like we did when you were a boy.
706
00:36:11,207 --> 00:36:12,276
I don't want to.
707
00:36:14,927 --> 00:36:16,838
Perhaps we should start
with the premise set forth
708
00:36:17,007 --> 00:36:19,237
in the definitive study
done by Harlan and Watkins.
709
00:36:19,407 --> 00:36:22,877
Oh, excuse me, but the definitive study
was done 10 years later at Cambridge.
710
00:36:23,047 --> 00:36:25,766
Oh, excuse me for not keeping up.
I was busy being dead.
711
00:36:26,687 --> 00:36:28,484
That's her excuse for everything.
712
00:36:28,647 --> 00:36:31,241
Don't you have
a tambourine to bang?
713
00:36:32,167 --> 00:36:35,318
Don't feel bad.
She tried to kill me once.
714
00:36:35,487 --> 00:36:39,400
- Oh, not this paranoia again.
- You had a gun.
715
00:36:39,567 --> 00:36:41,398
Now, Frasier, don't listen to them.
716
00:36:41,567 --> 00:36:43,523
These women are all liars
and cheaters.
717
00:36:43,687 --> 00:36:45,598
I'm the only woman you can trust.
718
00:36:45,767 --> 00:36:48,804
You're a fine one to talk.
You cheated on Martin.
719
00:36:48,967 --> 00:36:50,559
Oh, that's none of your beeswax,
missy.
720
00:36:50,727 --> 00:36:53,685
Oh, betrayal by the mother.
Is there any deeper wound?
721
00:36:53,847 --> 00:36:57,635
I'd say sleeping with his brother
is right up there.
722
00:36:57,807 --> 00:37:00,196
- You did?
HESTER: Mm-hm.
723
00:37:01,047 --> 00:37:03,880
Oh, I could see that.
724
00:37:05,967 --> 00:37:07,685
Don't even think about my baby
like that.
725
00:37:07,847 --> 00:37:11,123
- You can't control her thoughts.
- Oh, shut up. You're a whore.
726
00:37:11,287 --> 00:37:12,402
- You're a hypocrite.
- Whore.
727
00:37:12,567 --> 00:37:13,556
- Hypocrite.
- Whore.
728
00:37:13,727 --> 00:37:16,480
- Hypocrite. You're all hypocrites.
- And you're all whores.
729
00:37:16,647 --> 00:37:17,875
Every last one of you.
730
00:37:18,047 --> 00:37:19,480
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
731
00:37:21,207 --> 00:37:23,767
LILITH:
Stop it. Stop it.
732
00:37:23,927 --> 00:37:25,440
Don't you see what he's doing?
733
00:37:25,607 --> 00:37:27,279
He's pitting us against each other
734
00:37:27,447 --> 00:37:31,122
in order to avoid the real conflict
within himself.
735
00:37:31,287 --> 00:37:33,118
We must work together.
736
00:37:33,287 --> 00:37:34,640
DIANE: Right.
HESTER: I agree.
737
00:37:34,807 --> 00:37:36,001
So now, Frasier...
738
00:37:40,367 --> 00:37:42,164
What is the problem?
739
00:37:42,327 --> 00:37:44,363
Why can't you can't make it work
with a woman?
740
00:37:44,527 --> 00:37:45,642
Is it because they leave you?
741
00:37:45,807 --> 00:37:47,206
You stopped listening
to your heart?
742
00:37:47,367 --> 00:37:49,119
Is it your unrealistic expectations?
743
00:37:49,287 --> 00:37:51,437
I don't know.
744
00:37:52,327 --> 00:37:55,000
Leave me alone.
I don't wanna do this.
745
00:37:57,047 --> 00:37:58,560
WOMAN 1: Frasier.
WOMEN: Hi, Frasier.
746
00:37:58,727 --> 00:38:00,797
WOMAN 2: Honey, hi.
747
00:38:00,967 --> 00:38:02,116
What is it?
748
00:38:02,567 --> 00:38:04,842
It's every woman I've ever dated.
749
00:38:05,727 --> 00:38:06,762
What am I gonna do?
750
00:38:06,927 --> 00:38:09,760
Now, son,
I know this is frightening for you.
751
00:38:10,247 --> 00:38:13,239
But you have to do the work.
752
00:38:14,327 --> 00:38:16,761
- Yes.
- Okay.
753
00:38:18,887 --> 00:38:20,161
Okay.
754
00:38:25,567 --> 00:38:27,398
Fine.
755
00:38:27,567 --> 00:38:28,716
All right.
756
00:38:28,887 --> 00:38:31,685
L... I screwed things up with Lana.
757
00:38:31,847 --> 00:38:33,246
Wait, that, that wasn't my fault.
758
00:38:33,407 --> 00:38:34,999
She was still in love
with her ex-husband.
759
00:38:35,167 --> 00:38:36,282
No, Lana is not the problem.
760
00:38:36,447 --> 00:38:39,280
- No, she wasn't right for you at all.
- Oh, Mother, you would say that.
761
00:38:39,447 --> 00:38:40,960
You never approved
of my relationships.
762
00:38:41,127 --> 00:38:42,560
Don't pin this on me.
I liked Claire.
763
00:38:42,727 --> 00:38:44,240
Oh, she was wonderful for you.
764
00:38:44,407 --> 00:38:45,522
Everybody thought so.
765
00:38:45,687 --> 00:38:46,881
So why didn't it work out?
766
00:38:47,047 --> 00:38:49,845
- Maybe she was just right for you.
- What does that mean?
767
00:38:50,007 --> 00:38:52,043
Claire was everything we looked for
in a woman.
768
00:38:52,207 --> 00:38:53,720
LILITH:
And that terrified you.
769
00:38:53,887 --> 00:38:55,639
Because inevitably
she would have left you.
770
00:38:55,807 --> 00:38:57,160
And so, of course, you ran away.
771
00:38:57,327 --> 00:39:02,685
No, no, no, I left Claire because
I discovered I had feelings for Lana.
772
00:39:02,847 --> 00:39:05,805
- You created feelings for Lana...
- Who was extremely flawed.
773
00:39:05,967 --> 00:39:08,197
So you'd have an excuse
to leave Claire.
774
00:39:08,367 --> 00:39:11,564
- Yes, but I didn't love her.
- No, you didn't want to love her.
775
00:39:11,727 --> 00:39:14,321
- She was too good.
- And that's why you were afraid.
776
00:39:14,487 --> 00:39:16,717
All right, you're saying that I'm afraid
of a good woman?
777
00:39:16,887 --> 00:39:19,447
You're afraid
of losing a good woman.
778
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:21,484
Again.
779
00:39:25,047 --> 00:39:26,765
So that's it?
780
00:39:28,287 --> 00:39:32,439
All this work just to find out
that I have a fear of rejection?
781
00:39:32,607 --> 00:39:34,325
That's right.
782
00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:37,877
So I'm alone...
783
00:39:38,807 --> 00:39:41,560
...because I'm afraid to be alone?
784
00:39:42,007 --> 00:39:43,599
Yes.
785
00:39:45,047 --> 00:39:46,639
Don't feel too bad.
You'll always have us.
786
00:39:46,807 --> 00:39:48,684
- Isn't that right, girls?
LILITH: That's right.
787
00:39:48,847 --> 00:39:49,836
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
788
00:39:50,007 --> 00:39:51,201
All right, wait a minute.
789
00:39:53,047 --> 00:39:54,162
That's it.
790
00:39:55,487 --> 00:39:57,045
That's my problem.
791
00:39:57,207 --> 00:39:59,960
You are always there.
792
00:40:01,287 --> 00:40:06,964
I have carried you with me throughout
every relationship, on every date.
793
00:40:07,127 --> 00:40:09,038
You pick apart
the women I care about.
794
00:40:09,207 --> 00:40:12,563
And you remind me how much it'll hurt
if I open myself up.
795
00:40:13,527 --> 00:40:16,803
You don't help me.
You hold me back.
796
00:40:16,967 --> 00:40:19,481
How will I ever move forward
797
00:40:19,647 --> 00:40:23,083
if I don't put you behind me?
798
00:40:39,007 --> 00:40:41,077
Hurry along, Daphne,
we'll miss the curtain.
799
00:40:41,247 --> 00:40:45,160
Yeah, and you know how strict
they are about that at the Cineplex.
800
00:40:46,047 --> 00:40:48,880
Sorry. I was rushing and I put
my heel through the hem of my skirt,
801
00:40:49,047 --> 00:40:50,275
so I had to put on another one.
802
00:40:50,447 --> 00:40:52,165
- Oh, it looks nice.
- Thanks.
803
00:40:52,327 --> 00:40:54,204
Then the top didn't go,
so I changed it to this.
804
00:40:54,367 --> 00:40:56,927
I couldn't wear this with a black
brassiere. I had to change that.
805
00:40:57,087 --> 00:41:00,397
I had to change my knickers to match,
in case I go to the hospital.
806
00:41:01,567 --> 00:41:04,286
Coordinating undergarments
are the mark of a lady, and all that.
807
00:41:04,447 --> 00:41:06,483
Anyway, it's a long story.
I won't bore you with it.
808
00:41:06,647 --> 00:41:07,921
Yeah, thanks.
809
00:41:10,007 --> 00:41:11,156
NILES: Oh, hello.
MARTIN: Hey.
810
00:41:11,327 --> 00:41:12,316
Hi, guys.
811
00:41:12,487 --> 00:41:16,116
- How are you, Dr. Crane?
- Actually, I'm... I'm fine, Daphne.
812
00:41:16,287 --> 00:41:19,563
In fact, my little retreat
was just what this doctor ordered.
813
00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:23,436
I cleared my head
and came to some conclusions.
814
00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:24,722
So where are you guys off to?
815
00:41:24,887 --> 00:41:26,764
Oh, just one of Dad's movies.
You wanna join us?
816
00:41:26,927 --> 00:41:28,963
I brought my ltty Bitty Book Light.
817
00:41:30,247 --> 00:41:31,600
No, thanks. You guys go ahead.
818
00:41:31,767 --> 00:41:34,759
- You'll be okay, won't you?
- Ah, yes, I'll be just fine.
819
00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:36,679
Why don't I just stay here,
keep you company?
820
00:41:36,847 --> 00:41:38,075
- No, Dad, I'm fine.
- You sure?
821
00:41:38,247 --> 00:41:40,807
Yes. In fact, I'm...
822
00:41:41,327 --> 00:41:43,761
I'm better than I've been
in quite some time.
823
00:41:43,927 --> 00:41:46,760
Mainly because
of one very important thing I learned.
824
00:41:46,927 --> 00:41:48,918
Great. Let's roll.
825
00:41:57,367 --> 00:41:58,561
[SIGHS]
64163
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