Original subtitles

- HEY, HARRY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- PACKING.

- THIS IS A COOL WATCH.

HEY, I CAN MAKE IT ANY TIME I WANT.

"N" FOR NOON, "S" FOR SIX.

HEY, I MISSED LUNCH.

NO, I DIDN'T. YES, I DID.

- JUST-- JUST GIVE ME THAT.

- WOW, HARRY WESTON,

YOU GOT YOUR OWN BRAND OF UNDERWEAR?

- THOSE ARE NAME TAGS, CHARLEY.

COME ON, CAROL SEWED THEM IN.

- OH, I GET IT. YOU'RE GOING TO CAMP.

- CHARLEY, NOT CAMP.

- "WILDERNESS ADVENTURE.

"FEEL LIKE A MAN AGAIN.

EAGLE SPRINGS, MONTANA."

HEY, I THINK MY NIECE WENT TO THAT CAMP.

- IT'S NOT A CAMP, CHARLEY.

THIS IS ABOUT PITTING YOURSELF

AGAINST THE ELEMENTS, ABOUT SURVIVAL

AND GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MANHOOD.

- HARRY, WORD OF ADVICE--

YOU WANT TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MANHOOD,

WAIT TILL THE OTHER CAMPERS ARE ASLEEP.

- HEY, HARRY, WHAT'S ALL THIS?

- I'M TAKING A LITTLE VACATION, DEAR.

I-I-I REALLY NEED TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL.

- WHAT DO YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM?

- DADDY!

- RUN. RUN.

- OH, DADDY.

I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT I LOOK LIKE NAKED FROM BEHIND.

- OH, PLEASE. CAROL, DEAR...

- JUST NOW WHEN I WAS PLUCKING MY EYEBROWS

AND BLEACHING MY MUSTACHE... - AH! COME ON, CAROL!

- I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED, AND THE LITTLE MIRROR I WAS HOLDING

CAUGHT MY REFLECTION DOOR MIRROR.

MY WHOLE BODY IS FALLING APART.

I ASK YOU-- WHOSE KNEES ARE THESE?

- DON'T WORRY.

IN A COUPLE YEARS, YOUR BREASTS WILL COVER THEM.

[car horn honking]

- CAROL, HONEY, IT'S MY CAB, DEAR.

I CAN'T MISS THE PLANE. I GOT--PLEASE, CAROL, BABY,

CAN'T YOU FIND A FRIEND TO TALK TO?

I GOT TO GO. I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU. SEE YA.

WHOO-HOO.

- DADDY'S RIGHT.

I'VE BEEN SPENDING ALL MY TIME WITH HIM AND SCOTTY.

I NEED A FRIEND.

I NEED--I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN RELATE TO ME.

- DON'T LOOK AT ME.

I LOVE THE WAY I LOOK NAKED FROM BEHIND.

- LIFE GOES ON

AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE, WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE

I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

- OH, WHOA.

OH, THAT WAS SOME TRIP.

I MEAN, THREE HOURS ON A MULE,

NO SADDLE.

- YEAH. I SURE WOULD HATE TO BE YOUR KEISTER TOMORROW.

- WHOA, WELL, THIS IS--THIS IS GREAT.

IT'S, UH-- IT'S A TEPEE.

- HOME SWEET HOME, DOC.

- BUT--BUT WAIT A MINUTE.

THE BROCHURE SAID THERE WERE CABINS.

- OH, YEAH.

WELL, WE'RE NOT THROUGH BUILDING THOSE YET.

IS THIS TOO RUGGED? - OH, NO. RUGGED IS--

THAT'S OKAY WITH ME. I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I DO.

I MEAN, I DO RUGGED, YES.

- OH, MAN.

HUH, NAME TAGS?

- OH, OH, YEAH.

WELL, MY DAUGHTER CAROL SEWED--

I MEAN, IT'S SILLY. - NO, NO.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, DOC.

IT'LL HELP IDENTIFY THE BODY

IN CASE WE LOSE YOU IN THE RAPIDS.

- OKAY. THAT'S...

MY BODY?

- IT'S JUST A JOKE, DOC. - OH.

- COME ON, LIGHTEN UP.

YOU'RE HERE TO HAVE FUN...

AND TO TEST YOURSELF A BIT. - OKAY.

- WHO KNOWS? BY THE END OF THE WEEK,

YOU MIGHT WIND UP GETTING. THE MEDAL OF TAKOO WAKAN.

- UH, THE BROCHURE SAID I WOULD GET A COFFEE TABLE BOOK.

- OH, YEAH. WELL, WE'RE ALL OUT OF THOSE, DOC.

YOU BETTER GET A GOOD NIGHT'S REST.

YOU GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.

- OKAY. WAIT. EXCUSE ME. WHAT DO I DO ABOUT DINNER?

- CATCH IT, KILL IT, EAT IT.

WELCOME TO EAGLE SPRINGS, DOC.

[engine droning] - WHOA, WHOA, WHAT'S THAT?

- THAT'S A JEEP.

- A JEEP? YOU HAVE A JEEP?

WHY--WHY DID I RIDE SIX MILES ON A MULE?

- YOU ORDERED THE HE-MAN PLAN.

- OKAY. OH, GOD. I'M SO TIRED.

BUT THIS IS GREAT.

THE AIR...

IT'S GREAT. IT'S QUIET.

OH, BOY. IT'S SO PEACEFUL.

OH, YEAH.

[engine turning] Charley: THANKS FOR THE LIFT, GUYS.

- [sobbing]

- HEY, HARRY.

SURE IS PEACEFUL AND QUIET AROUND HERE, HUH?

- HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

- OH, COME ON, HARRY. DON'T BE COY.

YOU SHOWED ME THAT BROCHURE.

YOU LEFT YOUR CREDIT CARD IN YOUR DRESSER DRAWER.

I CAN TAKE A HINT.

- GOOD. WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER HINT--

GET OUT OF HERE, CHARLEY.

I WANT TO BE ALONE.

- OH, COME ON, HARRY, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO CAMP BEFORE,

EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE TIME MY PARENTS SENT ME TO FAT CAMP.

I WAS THE ONLY SKINNY KID THERE.

THE OTHER KIDS WERE SO MEAN.

THEY PELTED ME WITH CARROT STICKS,

AND THEY CALLED ME NAMES--

MR. FAST METABOLISM.

- CHARLEY, LEAVE ME ALONE. I WANT TO GO TO BED.

- DON'T YOU WANT TO SIT AROUND THE CAMPFIRE

AND SING SONGS?

- GOOD NIGHT, CHARLEY.

- TELL GHOST STORIES?

- JUST GO TO SLEEP, CHARLEY.

[groans]

[animals chattering] OH.

OH, GOD.

- LOOK, HARRY...

IT'S A BUNNY.

- GO TO BED,

OR THE BUNNY GETS IT.

- HI. - OH, GOOD MORNING.

LISTEN, OFFICE HOURS DON'T START TILL 9:00,

BUT YOU CAN JUST-- - OH, NO, NO.

I JUST CAME BY TO INTRODUCE MYSELF--I'M BRIDGET CAHILL.

I JUST OPENED UP A SHOP NEXT DOOR.

- BRIDGET CAHILL. PSYCHIC READINGS.

WELL, HOW DO YOU DO? I'M LAV--

- LAVERNE TODD, YEAH.

- OH.

- OH, I READ IT ON YOUR SMOCK.

- OH.

- BUT I CAN SEE YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED SOON.

- WELL, THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU SAW MY ENGAGEMENT...

RING.

IT'S AT THE JEWELER'S BEING SIZED. OH!

WHY, YOU'VE GOT THE GIFT.

- OH, IT'S--

I'M GETTING SOMETHING THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

SOMETHING ABOUT A GRUMPY BEAR...

- LAVERNE, WHERE THE HELL'S THE SUGAR?

- OH! DR. DOUGLAS, I WANT YOU TO MEET BRIDGET CAHILL.

SHE MOVED IN THE SHOP NEXT DOOR.

SHE CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE.

- BIG DEAL. SO CAN I.

I PREDICT YOUR STOREFRONT WILL BE TAGGED,

AND WITHIN TWO WEEKS, YOU'LL BE ROBBED.

- DOCTOR...

- OH, LAVERNE, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T BELIEVE.

- WELL, THEY SHOULD.

BACK IN HICKORY, WE HAD THIS OLD LADY DOTTIE MAE JACKSON--

- [laughing]

SORRY. I JUST GOT AHEAD OF YOU.

- SHE ROLLER-SKATED INTO TOWN ONE DAY.

SHE PROCLAIMED, "THE HORROR. THE HORROR."

TWO WEEKS LATER,

JAKE AND THE FAT MAN WAS CANCELED.

- WELL, YOU'VE MADE A BELIEVER OUT OF ME.

- WELL, LISTEN, IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU.

I BETTER GET GOING.

- WELL, HOW ABOUT SOME PARTING PREDICTIONS?

- OKAY, UH...

JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

IF I WERE YOU,

I WOULD NOT DRIVE ON FRONT STREET TOMORROW.

- OKAY. I'LL TAKE A DIFFERENT ROUTE.

- OH, LAVERNE, PLEASE.

- AND SOMETHING ABOUT A ROOF ON FIRE...

- OH, MY LORD.

- LORD, HAVE MERCY. HEAD FOR THE HILLS.

THE END IS NEAR. THE END IS NEAR.

- WAIT. ONE MORE...

I'M SEEING THE WORDS "RED NUT."

- PISTACHIO? - NO.

NO, JUST THE WORDS "RED NUT."

- GOOD MORNING, LADIES OF HEALING.

WHO WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND?

- THEY'S YOUR PISTACHIO.

- I'M LOOKING FOR A CONFIDANTE--

SOMEONE WHO, WHEN I'M FEELING HOPELESSLY FAT,

WILL SAY, "IT'S NOTHING, CAROL.

YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST A LITTLE BLOATED."

LAVERNE, LET'S START WITH YOU.

I'M FEELING KIND OF FAT.

- THEY LAW, I WISH I COULD GAIN SOME WEIGHT.

- I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

- REALLY?

ME TOO.

- CAROL, UH, BELIEVE ME,

IF I COULD,

I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO BE YOUR FRIEND, BUT...

I HATE THAT CRAP.

- YOU OKAY, HARRY?

- YEAH, FINE. OH.

- SAM SAYS YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON

EVER TO FALL OFF OLD DAISY.

- I DID NOT FALL OFF OLD DAISY.

SHE REARED BECAUSE OF A RATTLESNAKE,

AND I WISELY...

SLID OFF HER BACK.

- WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT SAM SAYS--

ONLY ONE OF US CAN BE INITIATED INTO THE ORDER OF THE EAGLE

AND WIN THE MEDAL OF TAKOO WAKAN.

- CHARLEY, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MEDAL.

- DON'T CALL ME CHARLEY.

MY EAGLE SPRINGS NAME IS... LITTLE DINGO.

YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS

'CAUSE I DID BETTER THAN YOU, SILVERHEAD.

- IT'S "SILVER CLOUD," AND STOP CALLING ME THAT.

SAM SAID THERE'D BE DINNER WAITING FOR US HERE.

THIS--THIS-- THIS MUST BE IT HERE.

WHAT IS THAT?

- HI, BUNNY.

NOW WE GOT SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH AFTER DINNER.

- CHARLEY, THE BUNNY IS DINNER.

THIS IS FROM SAM.

"I CAUGHT IT. YOU KILL IT, AND YOU EAT IT."

HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

I'M NOT GONNA KILL A LITTLE BUNNY.

THAT'S IT. I'M FINISHED WITH THIS JOINT.

I'M WALKING OUT OF HERE. I'M HIKING OUT.

COME ON, LITTLE BUNNY.

YOU GOT A REPRIEVE.

COME ON, I'LL TAKE YOU HOME.

- TABLE FOR ONE?

YES, THANK YOU. I'LL BE DINING ALONE TODAY.

I'LL PROBABLY BE DINING ALONE EVERY DAY.

HELLO, LITTLE BIRD...

WITH YOUR LIFE SO SIMPLE,

A WEALTH OF FRIENDS SURROUNDING YOU,

NO WORRIES, NO CARES, NO CREDIT-CARD BILLS TO PAY,

NO BIKINI WAXES TO SCHEDULE.

OH, THAT I HAD YOUR LIFE TO SAIL AMONG THE CLOUDS.

OH, MY GOD.

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HEY, HEY. WAIT.

- NO, NO. LEAVE ME ALONE.

- WAIT, LADY! AAH!

- PLEASE GIVE ME MY PURSE. - I CAN'T DO THAT.

YOU WON'T LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL.

YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF.

I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE.

- I WAS NOT TRYING TO KILL MYSELF.

- YOU HAD WEIGHTS STRAPPED AROUND YOUR ANKLES AND WRISTS.

- I WAS JOGGING.

- LOOK...

I FOUND THE NOTE IN YOUR PURSE.

"I HAVE LOST ALL SENSE OF PURPOSE,

AND I CAN NO LONGER GO ON."

- I THINK YOU'RE READING WAY TOO MUCH INTO THAT.

- "SO I HAVE DECIDED TO END MY LIFE."

- GREAT. CAN I HAVE YOUR LIVER?

YOU TWO LOOK LIKE A COUPLE OF DROWNED RATS.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

- ACTUALLY, IT'S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY.

- YOU WANT TO HEAR A FUNNY STORY?

YOUR KID FLUSHED YOUR JEWELRY DOWN THE TOILET.

TOP THAT ONE. [laughs]

- LOOK, YOU'VE BEEN A LOVELY HOST,

BUT I REALLY NEED TO GO HOME NOW.

- VALERIE...

YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST.

- [chuckles] THAT'S FUNNY.

[laughing]

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - I AM A PSYCHIATRIST.

- REALLY?

AND WE NEVER MET?

- YOU DIDN'T GET TOO FAR, DID YOU, HARRY?

THAT WAS ONE MEAN PUDDY TAT.

- IT WAS A BOBCAT.

- OH. YOU NAMED HIM?

YOU'RE LUCKY I FOUND YOU.

IT'S A GOOD THING YOU SCREAM LIKE A WOMAN.

- I WAS NOT SCREAMING.

I WAS TRYING TO SCARE IT AWAY.

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW, HARRY.

IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO SCARE ME, THEY USUALLY YELL, "BOO,"

NOT, "OH, PLEASE, GOD. DON'T LET HIM EAT ME."

- WELL, LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY GOT SPANKED BY MOTHER NATURE.

- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THERE WERE BOBCATS OUT THERE?

- YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME, SAM. I WAS GREAT.

I SAW HARRY CORNERED,

SO I PULLED A HOT DOG OUT OF MY BACK POCKET,

THREW IT DOWN THE RAVINE, AND THE CAT WENT RIGHT FOR IT.

- YOU HAD HOT DOGS?

- WELL, THAT'S NICE WORK, LITTLE DINGO.

THAT'S, UH-- THAT'S AN OLD INDIAN TRICK.

- OH, YEAH, MADE FAMOUS BY THE OLD INDIAN CHIEF

RESCUES WITH HIS WIENIE.

- EASY, NOW, SILVER CLOUD.

- STOP CALLING ME THAT.

- YEAH, BETTER NAME WOULD BE SCREAMS LIKE SQUAW.

- THAT'S RIGHT, POCAHONTAS.

WE'LL MAKE A REAL MAN OUT OF YOU YET.

- THAT'S IT.

GET OUT OF THE WAY.

I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU, PAL.

I WANT MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW.

- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO CAN DO.

DIDN'T YOU READ THE BROCHURE? IT SAYS "NO REFUNDS."

- YEAH, I READ YOUR BROCHURE.

IT'S A PACK OF LIES.

THERE ARE NO CABINS, NO FOOD, NO NOTHING.

- THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

YOU GOT A REAL FIRE IN YOUR EYES, AND I LIKE THAT.

I THINK YOU JUST EARNED THE MEDAL OF TAKOO WAKAN.

- THAT'S--THAT'S GREAT,

BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET MY MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW,

I'M GONNA TAKE THAT TAKOO

AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR WAKAN...

THEY WILL CALL YOU DANCES WITH INTERNAL BLEEDING.

- ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL DRIVE YOU INTO TOWN AND WRITE YOU OUT A REFUND CHECK.

- NO. I WANT CASH.

- GOD. YOU CITY GUYS ARE SO AGGRESSIVE.

- WOW. HARRY, YOU WERE GREAT.

YOU KNOW, THIS WILDERNESS STUFF REALLY BRINGS OUT THE MAN IN YOU.

- YEAH. YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

I DO. I FEEL GOOD.

I FEEL STRONG.

[engine turning]

- I HOPE YOU FEEL STRONG ENOUGH TO RUN,

'CAUSE SAM'S TAKING OFF IN THE JEEP.

- GET THAT--

- I KNOW. I KNOW I'M LATE.

- SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE TOOK FRONT STREET...

SOME SKEPTIC.

- LOOK, I'M CRANKY ENOUGH ALREADY.

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO PICK UP MY JUMBO JAVA AND DOUGHNUT.

- WELL, HERE...

HAVE THIS COFFEE.

I'VE GOT A TURNOVER RIGHT HERE IN THE TOASTER OVEN.

YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT. THIS'LL JUST FIX YOU RIGHT UP.

- THANKS. - YEAH.

SIT DOWN THERE. TAKE THE LOAD OFF.

YOUR FIRST PATIENT DOESN'T COME TILL--

- OW! - WHAT'S WRONG?

- I BURNT THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH.

- OH!

ROOF ON FIRE, ROOF ON FIRE...

JUST LIKE THAT PSYCHIC LADY SAID!

- DID SHE HAPPEN TO SAY

WHERE YOU'LL BE WORKING TOMORROW?

- COME ON, DR. DOUGLAS,

YOU GOT TO ADMIT THAT WOMAN HAS BEEN AMAZINGLY ACCURATE.

- OH, LAVERNE, YOU'D HAVE TO BE AN IDIOT

TO BELIEVE THAT GARBAGE.

COME ON, HURRY UP BEFORE LAVERNE GETS BACK FROM LUNCH.

- ALL RIGHT, THAT'LL BE $35, CASH UP FRONT.

- HEY, I DON'T CARRY THAT KIND OF MONEY ON ME.

- YES, YOU DO.

- OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

NOW, WHAT'S MY FUTURE?

- GIVE ME YOUR HAND. [clears throat]

I SEE A PICTURE

STRETCHING OUT OVER THE HORIZON.

WORK...

TV...

SLEEP.

WORK, TV, SLEEP.

WORK...

OH, OH...

TV, SLEEP.

- WHOA.

THAT'S MY FUTURE?

- WAIT A MINUTE.

OKAY, OKAY. I'M GETTING SOMETHING.

TONIGHT YOU WILL MEET A HANDSOME STRANGER

IN A DARK ALLEY.

YOU WILL NOT KNOW EACH OTHER'S NAMES,

BUT YOU WILL BE IRRESISTIBLY DRAWN TO ONE ANOTHER.

YOU WILL HAVE MAD, PASSIONATE SEX

SO LOUD YOU WILL WAKE THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD.

- WOW.

- OOH.

AND--AND AFTERWARDS, YOU'LL...

YOU'LL LICK YOURSELF

AND PEE ON A TIRE.

OH, NO. WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S YOUR CAT.

DON'T LET HER OUT TONIGHT.

- AREN'T THESE CHRISTMAS NIGHT GOWNS GREAT?

MY SISTER BARBARA AND I WORE THEM

MANY A YULETIDE AGO.

- I HATE YOU.

- THAT'S JUST WHAT BARBIE BARB USED TO SAY.

LET ME POUR YOU SOME TEA.

NOW, WE'LL JUST RELAX,

PUT OUR FEET UP, AND HAVE A LITTLE GIRL TALK.

SO...

WHY WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?

- BECAUSE I KNEW I'D END UP HERE?

PLEASE, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU OFF MY BACK?

- I KNOW.

LET'S TURN THE THERAPEUTIC COUCH AROUND.

NOW, YOU JUST GET COMFORTABLE,

AND WE'LL TAKE A NICE, LONG JOURNEY

TO THE CENTER OF YOUR PAIN.

WON'T THAT BE FUN?

- OKAY.

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

I WAS A LOUSY PSYCHIATRIST.

- OH, LOUSY PSYCHIATRIST?

I COULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT LOUSY PSYCHIATRISTS.

YOU WERE SAYING?

- MY PATIENTS WOULD BE POURING THEIR HEARTS OUT TO ME,

AND I'D BE FILLING PAGE AFTER PAGE OF MY NOTEBOOK WITH.

"YOU THINK YOU HAVE PROBLEMS."

- PLEASE, THERE WERE DAYS WHEN I WAS SO HOPELESS,

I COULD HARDLY GET OUT OF BED.

- CAROL... - WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?

DAYS--I'VE GONE WEEKS, MONTHS UNABLE TO EMERGE

FROM THE QUILTED PRISON WHERE I LAY.

- CAROL, CAN WE GET BACK TO-- - WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M BACK THERE.

I'M BACK AT THE DARK PLACE.

NO, I NEED TO WORK MY WAY OUT.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIE DOWN?

- YES, YES, I WOULD LIKE THAT.

- [on television] WITH THE DEHYDRATOR 2000,

YOU CAN DEHYDRATE MEAT. YOU CAN DEHYDRATE FISH.

YOU CAN DEHYDRATE BANANAS. YOU CAN DEHYDRATE TOMATOES.

- I'M SO THIRSTY.

VALERIE!

VALERIE!

- [on television] BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

- VALERIE! - DON'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP.

- VALERIE, PLEASE, WAIT.

CAT LITTER? - YOU HID MY WEIGHTS.

IT WAS THE BEST I COULD DO AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING.

- I-I-I THOUGHT WE HAD AN UNDERSTANDING.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU,

ALL THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH,

THAT YOU WOULD ACTUALLY DO THIS TO ME.

- HEY! I'M COMMITTING SUICIDE HERE.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

- YOU ARE THE MOST SELF-OBSESSED PERSON

I HAVE EVER MET.

- HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

- YOU DON'T WANT A FRIEND. YOU WANT A MOTHER.

I CAN'T BE THAT FOR YOU.

NOBODY CAN.

YOU HAVE TO FIND THAT PART IN YOURSELF,

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT SO MUCH WEIGHT

ON EVERYBODY ELSE.

- YOU'RE RIGHT. - THANK YOU.

- W-W-WAIT A SECOND!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

YOU HELPED ME.

YOU JUST TOLD ME SOMETHING IMPORTANT,

SOMETHING I DIDN'T GET IN--IN 18 YEARS OF THERAPY.

VALERIE, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME TACKLE YOU AGAIN.

COME ON, VALERIE.

GIVE ME THE KITTY LITTER.

- STORY OF MY LIFE--

I BOUGHT GENERIC.

I'M KILLING MYSELF, AND I'M SAVING 23 CENTS.

- WHY DON'T WE GO HOME?

I KNOW A GOOD DOCTOR I CAN CALL.

IN FACT, I-I KNOW 30 OR 40.

- YEAH, WHY DON'T WE?

- WOW, LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

YOU WANT TO STOP AND GET SOME BREAKFAST?

- SURE.

- ALTHOUGH I REALLY SHOULDN'T-- I'M FEELING SO FAT.

- IT'S NOTHING.

YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST A LITTLE BLOATED.

- THANK YOU.

- NOW WHAT DO YOU SEE?

- I SEE TWO MEN RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS.

- WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

- THEY SEEM TO BE CHASING A JEEP.

OH, THE DUMB ONE SLIPPED ON A HOT DOG.

WHOA, THERE'S A BOBCAT.

- THIS IS BORING.

GO BACK TO O.J.

- OOH, MARCIA CLARK HAS A NEW HAIRDO.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0