All language subtitles for Empty Nest s07e13 Goodbye Charley.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,798 --> 00:00:03,766 [somber organ music] 2 00:00:03,801 --> 00:00:08,771 3 00:00:08,806 --> 00:00:10,649 - OH! HI, MAXINE! 4 00:00:10,697 --> 00:00:12,542 - HARRY, I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD. 5 00:00:12,689 --> 00:00:14,201 - HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? 6 00:00:14,746 --> 00:00:16,441 - WHO CARES ABOUT MY TRIP? 7 00:00:16,542 --> 00:00:17,947 THIS IS TERRIBLE. 8 00:00:17,982 --> 00:00:20,082 - I THINK I'M GONNA CRY. 9 00:00:20,659 --> 00:00:22,682 I ALMOST GOT "DEATH RAY" TO LEVEL EIGHT 10 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,476 MY BATTERIES IS LOW. 11 00:00:26,524 --> 00:00:28,224 - HARRY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 12 00:00:28,259 --> 00:00:29,592 I CALLED YOUR HOUSE 13 00:00:29,627 --> 00:00:32,298 AND THE BABYSITTER TOLD ME YOU WERE AT THIS FUNERAL. 14 00:00:32,797 --> 00:00:34,697 - WELL, IT'S ALL PRETTY BIZARRE. 15 00:00:34,732 --> 00:00:37,733 - MY FRIENDS, WE ARE HERE TO PAY OUR LAST RESPECTS 16 00:00:37,769 --> 00:00:40,670 TO A YOUNG MAN WE ALL KNEW AND LOVED... 17 00:00:40,705 --> 00:00:42,302 CHARLEY DIETZ. 18 00:00:43,975 --> 00:00:46,943 [upbeat music] 19 00:00:46,978 --> 00:00:48,144 20 00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:50,212 - LIFE GOES ON 21 00:00:50,248 --> 00:00:51,614 AND SO DO WE 22 00:00:51,649 --> 00:00:53,582 JUST HOW WE DO IT 23 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,085 IS NO MYSTERY 24 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,087 ONE-BY-ONE 25 00:00:58,122 --> 00:01:00,122 WE FILL THE DAYS 26 00:01:00,158 --> 00:01:03,960 WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS 27 00:01:03,995 --> 00:01:07,697 SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND 28 00:01:07,732 --> 00:01:10,199 THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE 29 00:01:10,234 --> 00:01:13,369 I'M ALWAYS HERE 30 00:01:13,404 --> 00:01:18,474 FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED 31 00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:21,143 RAIN OR SHINE 32 00:01:21,179 --> 00:01:23,079 I'LL BE THE ONE 33 00:01:23,114 --> 00:01:27,650 TO SHARE IT ALL AS LIFE GOES ON 34 00:01:27,685 --> 00:01:30,353 WE SHARE IT ALL 35 00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:34,290 AS LIFE GOES ON 36 00:01:41,642 --> 00:01:44,543 - THERE CAN BE NO GREATER TRIBUTE TO THE DEPARTED 37 00:01:44,578 --> 00:01:46,344 THAN THE FOND MEMORIES 38 00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:48,310 OF THE FRIENDS CHARLEY LEFT BEHIND. 39 00:01:48,495 --> 00:01:51,771 FIRST TO SPEAK IS MS. SOPHIA PETRILLO. 40 00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:56,678 - HARRY, WHAT HAPPENED? 41 00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:58,853 - IT'S A LONG STORY. 42 00:01:59,053 --> 00:02:02,608 - MY NAME IS SOPHIA, AND I'M A BINGO-HOLIC. 43 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,053 - [whispers] THIS IS CHARLEY'S FUNERAL. 44 00:02:08,976 --> 00:02:11,218 - OH, RIGHT, CHARLEY. 45 00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:15,767 WELL, I REMEMBER ONE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT CHARLEY. 46 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,363 HIS CAR. 47 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:20,834 WHENEVER I NEEDED A RIDE TO THE TRACK, 48 00:02:20,882 --> 00:02:22,274 HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME 49 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,496 AND AT VERY REASONABLE RATES. 50 00:02:25,939 --> 00:02:28,394 ALL IN ALL, I LOVED HIM. 51 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,907 WELL...I LIKED HIM. 52 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,192 WELL, I KNEW HIM. 53 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,639 - AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, I'M AT HIS FUNERAL. 54 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:41,464 - HARRY, THAT'S CRAZY. 55 00:02:41,503 --> 00:02:43,662 WHAT WOULD MAKE HIM DO A STUPID THING LIKE THAT? 56 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,962 - WELL, IT ALL STARTED 57 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:47,093 WITH A PHONE CALL FROM HIS MOTHER. 58 00:02:47,228 --> 00:02:49,768 CAROL, I AM NOT A PRUDE. 59 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,170 I JUST FOUND IT EMBARRASSING, THAT'S ALL. 60 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,772 - DADDY, WHEN YOU GO TO AN ART FILM, 61 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,774 YOU HAVE TO EXPECT A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF SEX. 62 00:02:56,293 --> 00:02:57,576 - YES, ON THE SCREEN, 63 00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,369 NOT IN THE ROW IN FRONT OF ME! 64 00:03:02,389 --> 00:03:03,949 - SOPHIA SAID SHE'D LEAVE A MESSAGE 65 00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,011 WHEN IT WAS TIME TO PICK UP SCOTTY. 66 00:03:06,404 --> 00:03:08,787 - HELLO, THIS IS URSULA DIETZ. 67 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,283 CHARLEY'S MOTHER. 68 00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:12,883 [sexy voice] HI, HARRY. 69 00:03:13,064 --> 00:03:15,260 OOH, JUST HEARING YOUR VOICE ON THAT MESSAGE 70 00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:17,287 SETS MY LOINS A-QUIVER. 71 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,366 OH, WHERE WAS I? OH, OH, RIGHT. 72 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,535 LOOK, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO REACH CHARLEY, 73 00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,370 SO BE A LOVE AND TELL HIM 74 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,263 THERE'S BEEN A DEATH IN THE FAMILY. 75 00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,461 [sexy voice] BYE, HARRY. 76 00:03:29,531 --> 00:03:33,678 QUIVER, QUIVER. [voicemail beeps] 77 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:36,103 - GEE, THAT'S TERRIBLE. POOR GUY. 78 00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:37,716 I WONDER WHY SHE COULDN'T REACH HIM AT HOME, 79 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,071 HIS CAR'S OUT THERE. 80 00:03:39,109 --> 00:03:40,341 [loud music playing, muffled] 81 00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:43,099 - GET DOWN GET BACK UP AGAIN 82 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,023 - CHARLEY, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 83 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,663 [music continues loudly] - [humming along] 84 00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:50,085 - CHARLEY. - HEY, HARRY. 85 00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:51,780 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 86 00:03:52,586 --> 00:03:55,386 - CHARLEY, SIT DOWN, WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 87 00:03:55,421 --> 00:03:57,121 - WHY SO GLUM, CHUM? 88 00:03:57,156 --> 00:03:59,022 IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, THE BIRDS ARE CHIRPING, 89 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,936 THE X-MEN CAPTURED MAGNETO. 90 00:04:01,861 --> 00:04:04,428 - CHARLEY, I'M AFRAID WE HAVE SOME BAD NEWS. 91 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:07,379 - OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE OUT OF BEER. 92 00:04:08,801 --> 00:04:10,167 - NO, NO. 93 00:04:10,203 --> 00:04:11,869 CHARLEY, WE GOT A MESSAGE FROM YOUR MOTHER. 94 00:04:11,905 --> 00:04:13,204 SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU. 95 00:04:13,239 --> 00:04:14,908 THERE'S BEEN A UH-- 96 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,446 UH... 97 00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:18,075 A DEATH IN YOUR FAMILY. 98 00:04:18,111 --> 00:04:20,177 - OH, WOW. 99 00:04:20,213 --> 00:04:22,280 WHO DIED? - SHE DIDN'T SAY. 100 00:04:22,315 --> 00:04:25,182 YOU'D BETTER CALL. CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? 101 00:04:25,218 --> 00:04:27,218 - YEAH, I THINK I COULD REALLY USE SOMETHING. 102 00:04:27,253 --> 00:04:29,865 OF ALL THE TIMES FOR YOU TO BE OUT OF BEER. 103 00:04:31,658 --> 00:04:33,291 YOU KNOW, I BET IT'S MY AUNT HILDA. 104 00:04:33,326 --> 00:04:34,692 SHE'S BEEN HANGING ON FOR YEARS. 105 00:04:34,727 --> 00:04:36,227 WE THOUGHT WE LOST HER ONCE, BUT IT TURNED OUT 106 00:04:36,262 --> 00:04:38,419 SHE WAS JUST TAKING A NAP ON THE DRIVEWAY. 107 00:04:42,268 --> 00:04:44,302 HELLO! AUNT HILDA. 108 00:04:44,337 --> 00:04:47,374 YEAH, I'M SURPRISED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE TOO. 109 00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:52,797 LISTEN, AUNT HILDA, WHO DIED? 110 00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:55,229 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "GUESS"? 111 00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:59,963 OKAY, ONE GUESS. UNCLE JOE. 112 00:05:00,744 --> 00:05:03,139 I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST UNCLE JOE. 113 00:05:03,908 --> 00:05:06,466 AUNT HILDA, CAN YOU JUST TELL ME WHO DIED, PLEASE? 114 00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,717 [gasp] YOU'RE KIDDING. 115 00:05:08,752 --> 00:05:09,918 NO. 116 00:05:09,954 --> 00:05:12,554 I SEE. OKAY, THANKS. 117 00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:14,344 WOW. 118 00:05:14,892 --> 00:05:17,693 MY COUSIN, MAX. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK. 119 00:05:17,728 --> 00:05:20,761 HIS LAST WORDS WERE, "CALL 9-1-1." 120 00:05:21,398 --> 00:05:22,698 - THAT'S TERRIBLE. 121 00:05:22,733 --> 00:05:24,399 - YEAH, MY AUNT SALLY KEPT WAITING 122 00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:26,490 FOR THE REST OF THE NUMBER. 123 00:05:33,444 --> 00:05:36,578 IT JUST SHOWS THAT YOU NEVER KNOW HOW CLOSE YOU ARE 124 00:05:36,614 --> 00:05:40,182 TO YOUR OWN-- YOU KNOW, WHAT'S THE WORD? 125 00:05:40,217 --> 00:05:41,316 - MORTALITY. 126 00:05:41,352 --> 00:05:43,478 - NO, DEATH. 127 00:05:44,955 --> 00:05:46,355 I MEAN, ONE MINUTE YOU'RE SITTING THERE 128 00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,643 DRINKING BEER, CHECKING OUT YOUR NEIGHBOR'S HOOTERS... 129 00:05:50,194 --> 00:05:52,661 AND THE NEXT MINUTE, THE GUYS IN THE MORGUE 130 00:05:52,696 --> 00:05:55,214 ARE GOING THROUGH YOUR POCKETS LOOKING FOR FREE STUFF. 131 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,149 WELL, THE JOKE'S ON THEM. MY POCKETS ARE EMPTY. 132 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:01,317 OOH, A MINT. 133 00:06:01,352 --> 00:06:02,823 WELL, THEY'RE NOT GETTING THIS. 134 00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:05,440 - CHARLEY, CHARLEY, STOP IT. 135 00:06:05,476 --> 00:06:06,575 YOU'RE A HEALTHY YOUNG MAN. 136 00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,210 JUST BECAUSE AN OLDER RELATIVE DIES 137 00:06:08,245 --> 00:06:09,578 DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE NEXT. 138 00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:12,798 - MAX WASN'T OLDER, HE WAS MY AGE--42. 139 00:06:13,388 --> 00:06:14,583 - WELL, I MEAN, EVEN SO! 140 00:06:14,618 --> 00:06:15,751 - HARRY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 141 00:06:15,786 --> 00:06:18,921 MY FAMILY HAS A HISTORY OF MEN DYING AT 42. 142 00:06:18,956 --> 00:06:21,323 MY GRANDFATHER, MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER, 143 00:06:21,358 --> 00:06:22,758 TWO UNCLES, AND NOW MAX. 144 00:06:22,793 --> 00:06:24,760 - BUT CHARLEY, YOUR FATHER'S STILL ALIVE. 145 00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:26,972 - NOT ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER. 146 00:06:28,532 --> 00:06:30,732 OH, MY GOD, MY HEART COULD BE SQUEEZING OUT 147 00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:32,643 IT'S LAST TICKS RIGHT THIS SECOND. 148 00:06:33,037 --> 00:06:35,370 OH, MY GOD, THERE IT WAS! THE LAST ONE! 149 00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:37,372 NO, WAIT. THERE WAS ONE MORE. 150 00:06:37,408 --> 00:06:38,540 THAT WAS THE LAST ONE. 151 00:06:38,575 --> 00:06:39,808 NO, NO, NO. ONE MORE. 152 00:06:39,843 --> 00:06:42,210 THAT WAS THE LAST-- NO, NO, ONE MORE. 153 00:06:42,246 --> 00:06:44,446 ONE MORE. YEAH, THAT'S THE LAST ONE. 154 00:06:44,481 --> 00:06:46,654 NO, NO, ONE MORE. 155 00:06:46,693 --> 00:06:48,784 - WE GOT HIM CALMED DOWN, WE THOUGHT HE WAS OKAY, 156 00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:49,979 AND THEN... 157 00:06:50,006 --> 00:06:52,054 REMEMBER THE DAY YOU LEFT FOR YOUR TRIP? 158 00:06:52,089 --> 00:06:54,823 - WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT EVERYTHING. 159 00:06:54,858 --> 00:06:57,663 GUESS IT'S OFF TO THE MEDICAL CONVENTION IN, UH-- 160 00:06:58,195 --> 00:07:00,095 WHERE WAS THAT AGAIN, HARRY? 161 00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:02,280 - THE BAHAMAS, MAXINE. 162 00:07:02,718 --> 00:07:04,967 - AH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. THE BAHAMAS. 163 00:07:05,002 --> 00:07:07,669 THAT'S THE PLACE WITH THE SUN AND THE SAND 164 00:07:07,705 --> 00:07:09,379 AND THE BOTTOMLESS RUM DRINKS. 165 00:07:09,416 --> 00:07:10,749 GEE... 166 00:07:10,784 --> 00:07:13,429 WONDER IF I SHOULD BRING MY OWN LIMBO STICK. 167 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,888 - FINE, MAXINE. GO, HAVE A GOOD TIME. 168 00:07:17,498 --> 00:07:19,925 - SAY, HARRY, YOU'RE NOT SORE 169 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,761 BECAUSE I'M GOING TO THE CONVENTION AND YOU'RE NOT? 170 00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:23,929 - OF COURSE NOT. 171 00:07:23,964 --> 00:07:25,553 I WENT TO THE CONVENTION LAST YEAR, REMEMBER? 172 00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:27,196 - WHERE WAS THAT AGAIN, HARRY? 173 00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:29,767 VEGAS? HAWAII? 174 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,407 - IT WAS COLONIAL WILLIAMSBURG. 175 00:07:32,648 --> 00:07:35,106 [horn honking] - OOH, THERE'S THE PARTY BUS. 176 00:07:35,142 --> 00:07:36,241 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 177 00:07:36,276 --> 00:07:39,344 OH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU NEED TO REACH ME, 178 00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:42,914 JUST HAVE THE HOTEL PAGE THE BEST-LOOKING CABANA BOY. 179 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:46,194 I'LL BE CHASING HIS PERFECT LITTLE BUTT AROUND THE POOL. 180 00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,019 - WELL, DOCTOR... 181 00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:52,137 LOOKS LIKE IT'S YOU AND ME ALONE AGAIN. 182 00:07:52,337 --> 00:07:54,292 JUST LIKE THE GOOD OL' DAYS. 183 00:07:57,164 --> 00:07:59,164 AW, DON'T FEEL BAD, DOCTOR. 184 00:07:59,199 --> 00:08:00,899 YOU GET TO GO TO THE CONVENTION NEXT YEAR. 185 00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,667 - THAT'S TRUE. - AND LOOKIE HERE. 186 00:08:02,703 --> 00:08:05,628 IT SAYS HERE IN THIS SCHEDULE IT'S GONNA BE HELD IN... 187 00:08:06,078 --> 00:08:07,447 MIAMI. 188 00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:11,743 - OH, THANK GOD, A CHAIR. 189 00:08:11,778 --> 00:08:13,959 - CHARLEY. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 190 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:15,880 - I THINK I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK. 191 00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:18,065 - ALL RIGHT, CHARLEY, HERE. COME ON. 192 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,488 NOW JUST TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE FEELING. 193 00:08:20,988 --> 00:08:22,988 - WEIRD, HARRY. YOU'RE UNDRESSING ME. 194 00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:24,094 - NO. 195 00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:27,225 NO, NO, I MEAN YOUR SYMPTOMS. 196 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:30,727 - OH, CHEST PAIN, SHORTNESS OF BREATH, 197 00:08:30,966 --> 00:08:33,698 SWEATINESS, AND I'M A LITTLE NAUSEOUS. 198 00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:35,672 - CHARLEY, YOUR PULSE IS STEADY. 199 00:08:36,069 --> 00:08:37,736 YOUR COLOR'S FINE. YOU SEEM OKAY. 200 00:08:37,771 --> 00:08:40,138 EXACTLY WHEN DID YOU START HAVING THESE FEELINGS? 201 00:08:40,173 --> 00:08:42,419 - WELL, RIGHT AFTER I READ THIS HEART DISEASE PAMPHLET 202 00:08:42,459 --> 00:08:44,207 IN YOUR WAITING ROOM. 203 00:08:45,012 --> 00:08:47,806 - GOOD THING HE DIDN'T READ THE ONE ON CHILDBIRTH. 204 00:08:48,248 --> 00:08:49,781 - CHARLEY, CHARLEY, CHARLEY, CHARLEY. 205 00:08:49,816 --> 00:08:52,264 LOOK, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE HAVING A HEART ATTACK. 206 00:08:52,652 --> 00:08:55,387 YOU'RE JUST OBSESSED ABOUT YOUR COUSIN'S DEATH. 207 00:08:55,422 --> 00:08:57,230 - NO, I'M OKAY WITH THAT. 208 00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:59,657 WHAT I'M OBSESSED ABOUT IS MY DEATH. 209 00:09:00,155 --> 00:09:02,834 - CHARLEY, CHARLEY, CHARLEY, CHARLEY, LISTEN TO ME. 210 00:09:03,313 --> 00:09:05,658 THIS IS ALL, YOU KNOW, THE POWER OF SUGGESTION. 211 00:09:05,694 --> 00:09:07,160 BUT IF IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, 212 00:09:07,195 --> 00:09:08,984 GO IN THE EXAM ROOM, I'LL GIVE YOU A QUICK CHECK-UP 213 00:09:09,023 --> 00:09:10,134 AND AN EKG. 214 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,542 - THANKS, HARRY. 215 00:09:13,602 --> 00:09:16,135 - SHALL I PREPARE THE USUAL FOR HIM? 216 00:09:16,171 --> 00:09:18,989 - NO, THIS TIME LET'S GIVE HIM A BLUE BALLOON. 217 00:09:21,877 --> 00:09:23,676 CHARLEY DIDN'T BELIEVE HE WAS ALL RIGHT 218 00:09:23,712 --> 00:09:25,345 UNTIL I GAVE HIM A COMPLETE CHECK-UP. 219 00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,980 HE WANTED EVERYTHING. 220 00:09:27,015 --> 00:09:29,791 TOOK ME 20 MINUTES TO TALK HIM OUT OF THE STIRRUPS. 221 00:09:38,226 --> 00:09:39,811 - YOU KNOW, I HATE TO ADMIT IT, 222 00:09:39,890 --> 00:09:41,593 BUT I FEEL BADLY FOR THE BOOB. 223 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:42,996 - [sighs] 224 00:09:43,565 --> 00:09:45,814 CHARLEY, HEY. HOW YOU DOING, PAL? 225 00:09:46,701 --> 00:09:48,902 OH, HOW WAS YOUR COUSIN'S FUNERAL? 226 00:09:48,937 --> 00:09:50,848 - BOY, WHAT A DOWNER. 227 00:09:51,439 --> 00:09:54,287 - THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT "FUNERAL" AND NOT "MARDI GRAS." 228 00:09:55,477 --> 00:09:57,043 - IT WAS REALLY DEPRESSING. 229 00:09:57,078 --> 00:09:58,378 LISTENING TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE 230 00:09:58,413 --> 00:10:00,179 TALK ABOUT WHAT A GREAT GUY MAX WAS, 231 00:10:00,215 --> 00:10:02,148 MADE ME REALIZE THAT WHEN I DIE... 232 00:10:02,183 --> 00:10:03,750 NOBODY'LL CARE. 233 00:10:03,785 --> 00:10:05,518 - CHARLIE, THAT'S NOT TRUE. 234 00:10:05,553 --> 00:10:06,853 - OF COURSE IT'S NOT. 235 00:10:06,888 --> 00:10:09,555 - OH, SURE. LIKE YOU'RE GONNA MISS ME. 236 00:10:09,591 --> 00:10:10,957 - WELL, CHARLEY, JUST BECAUSE 237 00:10:10,992 --> 00:10:12,926 WE'VE HAD A DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP IN THE PAST 238 00:10:12,961 --> 00:10:14,207 DOESN'T MEAN THAT... 239 00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:16,064 DADDY WON'T MISS YOU. 240 00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:20,867 RIGHT, DADDY? 241 00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:22,196 - ABSOLUTELY. 242 00:10:22,228 --> 00:10:23,987 - A-A-AND SOPHIA WILL MISS YOU. 243 00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:25,128 WON'T YOU, SOPHIA? 244 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,847 - YEAH, YEAH, PASS THE KETCHUP. 245 00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:33,279 - COME ON NOW, SOPHIA. 246 00:10:33,315 --> 00:10:35,014 YOU'D REMEMBER CHARLEY IF HE DIED. 247 00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,159 - ARE YOU KIDDING? 248 00:10:36,190 --> 00:10:38,269 I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY I NEEDED THE KETCHUP. 249 00:10:42,023 --> 00:10:44,424 - NO, CAROL. SHE'S RIGHT. 250 00:10:44,459 --> 00:10:46,410 I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WORTH REMEMBERING. 251 00:10:46,436 --> 00:10:48,035 I'M A PURSER ON THE SHIP. 252 00:10:48,071 --> 00:10:49,773 THE MOST I'VE EVER DONE IS... 253 00:10:50,607 --> 00:10:51,880 PURSE. 254 00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:55,743 - CHARLEY, HERE'S A KOOKY THOUGHT. 255 00:10:55,778 --> 00:10:57,745 WHY NOT DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE? 256 00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:59,614 - YEAH, CHARLEY, MAYBE YOUR COUSIN'S DEATH 257 00:10:59,649 --> 00:11:00,681 IS A WAKE-UP CALL. 258 00:11:00,717 --> 00:11:02,216 MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING 259 00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:04,018 MEANINGFUL WITH YOUR LIFE. 260 00:11:04,053 --> 00:11:05,219 - I KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. 261 00:11:05,255 --> 00:11:07,240 - WHAT? - PLAY CANASTA. 262 00:11:08,124 --> 00:11:10,191 - HOW WILL THAT MAKE MY LIFE MORE MEANINGFUL? 263 00:11:10,226 --> 00:11:11,259 - IT WON'T. 264 00:11:11,294 --> 00:11:13,210 I JUST FEEL LIKE PLAYING CANASTA. 265 00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:14,863 - WAIT. 266 00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:16,597 I KNOW HOW TO MAKE MY MARK ON THE WORLD. 267 00:11:16,633 --> 00:11:17,765 - HOW'S THAT, CHARLES? 268 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,906 - I'M GONNA WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE. 269 00:11:21,104 --> 00:11:23,738 - CHARLEY, THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE. 270 00:11:23,773 --> 00:11:25,539 - HARRY, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. 271 00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:28,276 THE MORE TIMES I ENTER, THE MORE CHANCES I HAVE TO WIN. 272 00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:35,431 - GOD, I HOPE SHE KEEPS THIS SHORT. 273 00:11:35,466 --> 00:11:39,735 - FRIENDS, MOURNERS, MIAMIANS... 274 00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:42,204 LEND ME YOUR EARS. 275 00:11:42,239 --> 00:11:44,369 - THAT ANSWERS THAT QUESTION. 276 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:49,138 - I COME TO PRAISE CHARLEY, NOT TO BURY HIM. 277 00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:51,404 BUT FIRST... 278 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:55,376 LET ME TELL YOU HOW I CAME TO BE HERE. 279 00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:59,137 I WAS BORN ON A STEAMY SUMMER NIGHT. 280 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,317 TO A STRUGGLING YOUNG MEDICAL STUDENT 281 00:12:02,349 --> 00:12:03,826 AND HIS WINSOME WIFE. 282 00:12:03,861 --> 00:12:06,553 - OH, WE'RE GONNA BE HERE FOR A WHILE. 283 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:09,498 - HERE. I GOT SOME AIRLINE PEANUTS. 284 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,860 SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? 285 00:12:12,404 --> 00:12:13,708 - CHARLEY DECIDED HE NEEDED 286 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:15,707 TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL WITH HIS LIFE, 287 00:12:15,742 --> 00:12:18,677 SO HE QUIT HIS JOB, CASHED IN HIS SAVINGS, 288 00:12:18,712 --> 00:12:20,500 PUT HIS HOUSE UP FOR SALE, 289 00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:22,902 WHICH REALLY IRRITATED HIS LANDLORD. 290 00:12:24,184 --> 00:12:27,852 - HARRY, THIS IS THE WEIRDEST STORY I EVER HEARD. 291 00:12:28,435 --> 00:12:30,472 - YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING YET. 292 00:12:36,859 --> 00:12:40,953 - A COOKIE SALES RECORD THAT STANDS TO THIS DAY, 293 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,267 ACCORDING TO THE MIAMI COUNCIL 294 00:12:43,303 --> 00:12:45,169 OF CAMPFIRE GIRLS. 295 00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:48,706 THEN--THEN BEGAN A TIME OF GROWTH AND DISCOVERY. 296 00:12:48,742 --> 00:12:51,109 SEVENTH GRADE, MS. WILKIE'S HOMEROOM, 297 00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:53,225 A CRISP, FALL MORNING... 298 00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:55,671 I BECAME A WOMAN. 299 00:12:57,484 --> 00:12:58,750 - SO DID CHARLEY COME UP 300 00:12:58,785 --> 00:13:01,352 WITH ANYTHING MEANINGFUL TO DO WITH HIS LIFE? 301 00:13:01,387 --> 00:13:04,822 - HE TRIED, BUT HE ENDED UP EVEN MORE DEPRESSED THAN EVER. 302 00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:06,157 - AND THEN I THOUGHT, "I KNOW, 303 00:13:06,192 --> 00:13:08,412 I'LL FIND A CURE FOR CANCER." 304 00:13:09,395 --> 00:13:11,856 THEN I REALIZED YOU NEED MATH FOR THAT. 305 00:13:12,432 --> 00:13:14,632 - IT'S ALL RIGHT, CHARLEY. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 306 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,400 EASY. EASY, EASY. 307 00:13:16,436 --> 00:13:19,170 - IT'S NO USE, HARRY. I'LL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING. 308 00:13:19,205 --> 00:13:21,873 I MIGHT AS WELL JUST SIT HERE AND WAIT TO DIE. 309 00:13:22,642 --> 00:13:23,708 - CHARLEY, IT SEEMS TO ME 310 00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:26,511 THAT YOU COULD USE SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP. 311 00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:28,346 - WHAT? A SHRINK? 312 00:13:28,381 --> 00:13:31,082 - CHARLEY, A THERAPIST IS MERELY SOMEONE 313 00:13:31,117 --> 00:13:33,084 WHO HELPS PEOPLE SOLVE THEIR PROBLEMS. 314 00:13:33,119 --> 00:13:34,719 - HEY, JUST BECAUSE I SIT AROUND ALL DAY 315 00:13:34,754 --> 00:13:36,187 IN MY PAJAMAS WAITING TO DIE 316 00:13:36,222 --> 00:13:37,867 DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE PROBLEMS. 317 00:13:38,558 --> 00:13:40,625 - CHARLEY, YOU CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS. 318 00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:42,813 - WHY NOT? NOBODY CARES. 319 00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:45,589 THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL SHOW UP AT MY FUNERAL WILL BE ME. 320 00:13:46,466 --> 00:13:48,900 - WAIT A MINUTE. I'M HAVING A BRAINSTORM. 321 00:13:48,935 --> 00:13:50,468 - YEAH, I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING ONE OF THOSE TOO, 322 00:13:50,503 --> 00:13:52,812 BUT THE CAT SCAN SHOWED NOTHING. 323 00:13:54,474 --> 00:13:56,440 - CHARLEY, YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF DYING. 324 00:13:56,476 --> 00:13:58,109 YOU'RE JUST AFRAID THAT NO ONE WILL CARE. 325 00:13:58,144 --> 00:14:00,778 - SO? - SO, HAVE YOUR FUNERAL NOW. 326 00:14:00,814 --> 00:14:02,146 GO THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE, 327 00:14:02,182 --> 00:14:04,282 AND FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT YOUR FEARS ARE FOUNDED. 328 00:14:04,317 --> 00:14:06,918 - CAROL, THAT'S RIDICULOUS! - WHY, DADDY? 329 00:14:06,953 --> 00:14:09,320 IT BUILDS ON SOUND PSYCHIATRIC THEORY-- 330 00:14:09,355 --> 00:14:10,988 CONFRONTING ONE'S FEARS DIRECTLY. 331 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:12,990 MUCH AS I CONFRONTED MY OWN FEAR 332 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,780 OF NEVER FINDING THE RIGHT MAN. 333 00:14:19,098 --> 00:14:21,584 DADDY, I WILL FIND THE RIGHT MAN, WON'T I? 334 00:14:22,702 --> 00:14:24,646 - I'M LOOKING FOR HIM TOO. 335 00:14:26,706 --> 00:14:28,973 - REALLY? DADDY, HAVE YOU LOOKED-- 336 00:14:29,008 --> 00:14:31,315 - HEY, HEY. I'M DYING HERE. 337 00:14:31,711 --> 00:14:34,011 - I'M SORRY. LOOK, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO, 338 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,047 CHARLEY, IS HAVE YOUR FUNERAL. 339 00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:37,114 - I DON'T LIKE THIS. 340 00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:38,516 I REALLY DON'T LIKE THIS, CAROL. 341 00:14:38,551 --> 00:14:40,433 - A FUNERAL. 342 00:14:40,887 --> 00:14:42,286 THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO. 343 00:14:42,322 --> 00:14:44,522 THERE'S ARRANGEMENTS TO BE MADE AND FLOWERS TO ORDER. 344 00:14:44,557 --> 00:14:46,180 HARRY, WOULD YOU HELP ME? 345 00:14:48,228 --> 00:14:50,767 - SURE. I'LL PERFORM THE AUTOPSY. 346 00:14:56,269 --> 00:14:57,704 - OKAY, CHARLEY. 347 00:14:57,941 --> 00:15:00,486 I AM SO IN THIS MOMENT. 348 00:15:01,741 --> 00:15:04,974 WE ARE GOING TO THROW THE BEST FUNERAL EVER. 349 00:15:07,249 --> 00:15:08,837 - PLACE IS KINDA CREEPY. 350 00:15:10,116 --> 00:15:12,465 IT'S LIKE BEING IN PENNSYLVANIA. 351 00:15:13,804 --> 00:15:15,486 - YOU MEAN TRANSYLVANIA. 352 00:15:15,521 --> 00:15:17,482 - NUH-UH, PENNSYLVANIA. 353 00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:20,782 ALL MY RELATIVES DIED IN PITTSBURGH. 354 00:15:21,425 --> 00:15:23,791 YOU THINK DRACULA'S IN HERE TAKING A NAP? 355 00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:25,846 AH! - [gasps] 356 00:15:25,878 --> 00:15:26,998 WHAT'S IN THERE? 357 00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:28,549 - THE PRICE TAG. 358 00:15:33,506 --> 00:15:36,492 - I CAN SEE THE GRIEF WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACES. 359 00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:37,974 HOW CAN I HELP YOU? 360 00:15:38,022 --> 00:15:40,077 - UH, WE'D LIKE TO ARRANGE A FUNERAL. 361 00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,812 - CERTAINLY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A CHAIR? 362 00:15:41,848 --> 00:15:44,338 - I KINDA HAD MY HEART SET ON A COFFIN. 363 00:15:45,187 --> 00:15:46,587 - [chuckles] 364 00:15:46,624 --> 00:15:49,481 THIS ONE JUST CAME IN. IT'S THE '95 MODEL. 365 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,207 SHE'S A BEAUTY, ISN'T SHE? 366 00:15:51,249 --> 00:15:52,924 - IT SEEMS KIND OF EXPENSIVE. 367 00:15:52,959 --> 00:15:54,659 - IT'S ONLY PENNIES A DAY WHEN YOU CONSIDER 368 00:15:54,694 --> 00:15:56,446 HOW LONG THE DECEASED WILL SPEND IN THERE. 369 00:15:57,897 --> 00:15:59,139 - WELL, IN OUR CASE, 370 00:15:59,178 --> 00:16:01,791 THE DECEASED WILL ONLY BE IN THERE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR. 371 00:16:02,602 --> 00:16:05,384 - YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ARE YOUR OWN AFFAIR, SIR. 372 00:16:05,946 --> 00:16:08,406 MAY I ASK WHO IS THE DECEASED? 373 00:16:08,441 --> 00:16:09,596 - I AM. 374 00:16:09,776 --> 00:16:11,769 - YOU'RE A BRAVE MAN, SIR. 375 00:16:12,979 --> 00:16:15,112 - OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU THINK HE'S DYING. 376 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,781 HE'S NOT DYING. - HE'S NOT? 377 00:16:16,816 --> 00:16:19,150 - NO, NO. THIS IS MERELY AN ATTEMPT 378 00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:22,453 TO ASSUAGE CHARLEY'S FEAR OF HIS OWN DEATH AND INSIGNIFICANCE 379 00:16:22,488 --> 00:16:24,188 BY THROWING HIM A FUNERAL. 380 00:16:24,435 --> 00:16:26,090 OH, YOU MUST GET THIS ALL THE TIME. 381 00:16:26,125 --> 00:16:27,493 - NO. 382 00:16:29,395 --> 00:16:32,596 BUT I DON'T SEE ANY REASON WHY WE CAN'T ACCOMMODATE YOU. 383 00:16:32,632 --> 00:16:34,424 NOW, UH... 384 00:16:36,515 --> 00:16:39,437 HOW MUCH WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT SPENDING FOR THE CASKET? 385 00:16:39,472 --> 00:16:41,274 - WELL, WE WERE THINKING... 386 00:16:41,305 --> 00:16:43,708 SOMEWHERE AROUND THIS NEIGHBORHOOD. 387 00:16:44,199 --> 00:16:45,946 - [chuckles] NO. 388 00:16:45,977 --> 00:16:48,019 NOT UNLESS WE'RE THINKING CREMATION. 389 00:16:50,883 --> 00:16:52,402 - OKAY, TALK TO ME. 390 00:16:57,074 --> 00:16:58,169 - EW. 391 00:16:59,092 --> 00:17:00,580 HOW 'BOUT A USED ONE? 392 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:03,743 - CHARLEY! 393 00:17:03,928 --> 00:17:06,964 - NOW, ACTUALLY, I DO HAVE SOMETHING. 394 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,632 IT'S NOT EXACTLY USED. 395 00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:10,701 WE SOLD IT, BUT THE DEAL FELL THROUGH. 396 00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:13,288 THE GOVERNOR GRANTED HIM A STAY. 397 00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:17,061 - CHARLEY, IT'S YOU. 398 00:17:17,205 --> 00:17:20,324 - HEY, STILL HAS THAT NEW BOX SMELL. 399 00:17:21,634 --> 00:17:23,767 - I'LL KNOCK OFF 10%. 400 00:17:23,903 --> 00:17:26,027 - MAKE IT 20. - YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL. 401 00:17:26,056 --> 00:17:28,082 - GREAT! - CONGRATULATIONS. 402 00:17:28,118 --> 00:17:29,830 USE IT IN GOOD HEALTH. 403 00:17:31,721 --> 00:17:34,589 - WOW, SOUNDS LIKE CAROL CUT SOME DEAL. 404 00:17:34,624 --> 00:17:37,091 - THE WAY SHE TELLS IT, SHE WAS THIS CLOSE 405 00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:40,762 TO GETTING HIM TO THROW IN A CD PLAYER AND A SUNROOF. 406 00:17:43,581 --> 00:17:45,936 - I'D LIKE TO START WITH JUST A LITTLE PRAYER. 407 00:17:50,039 --> 00:17:51,347 DEAR LORD... 408 00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:54,809 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THIS UNHOLY GATHERIN' 409 00:17:54,844 --> 00:17:56,331 WAS NOT MY IDEA. 410 00:17:56,930 --> 00:17:58,913 I'M ONLY DOIN' THIS BECAUSE I'M TOLD, 411 00:17:58,948 --> 00:18:01,682 IN SOME DEMENTED WAY, IT'LL HELP CHARLEY 412 00:18:01,718 --> 00:18:03,406 GET OVER HIS DEPRESSION. 413 00:18:07,857 --> 00:18:09,524 AND EVEN THOUGH WE ALL KNOW 414 00:18:09,559 --> 00:18:11,856 HE'S A COUPLE OF PECKS SHY OF A BUSHEL, 415 00:18:12,929 --> 00:18:15,532 HE IS SWEET, AND I DO WANT HIM TO KNOW 416 00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:16,958 THAT I WOULD MISS HIM. 417 00:18:17,438 --> 00:18:18,990 [beer can pops open] 418 00:18:21,795 --> 00:18:24,305 NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO INTRODUCE THE NEXT SPEAKER, 419 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,374 DR. HARRY WESTON, WHO I SUSPECT 420 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,710 WAS IN ON THIS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. 421 00:18:29,099 --> 00:18:30,166 AMEN. 422 00:18:32,747 --> 00:18:34,313 - [clears throat] 423 00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:36,109 LAVERNE... 424 00:18:36,352 --> 00:18:38,778 THANK YOU FOR THOSE HEARTFELT WORDS. 425 00:18:39,235 --> 00:18:41,315 AND I WAS NEVER IN ON THIS. 426 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,159 IN FACT, I NEVER WANTED TO BE HERE. 427 00:18:45,195 --> 00:18:46,886 BUT NOW THAT I AM-- 428 00:18:47,964 --> 00:18:49,897 [sighs] CHARLEY, LOOK. 429 00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:51,499 WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE, 430 00:18:51,534 --> 00:18:52,934 YOU GO TO ENOUGH OF THESE THINGS, 431 00:18:52,969 --> 00:18:55,591 SO FORGIVE ME IF I WAS NOT ANXIOUS TO COME TO THIS ONE. 432 00:18:57,106 --> 00:19:00,268 YOU KNOW, SITTING HERE IN THESE SURROUNDINGS, 433 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,311 I COULDN'T HELP THINKING THAT I'M GLAD 434 00:19:03,346 --> 00:19:05,413 THAT THIS IS NOT FOR REAL. 435 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,364 BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU... 436 00:19:09,185 --> 00:19:10,847 IT MAKES ME REAL SAD. 437 00:19:12,207 --> 00:19:14,079 - I'M SAD TOO, HARRY. 438 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,337 - YEAH, OH. 439 00:19:16,826 --> 00:19:19,756 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT CONCLUDES OUR SERVICE. 440 00:19:20,189 --> 00:19:22,526 NOW YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO COME UP AND... 441 00:19:23,135 --> 00:19:24,966 PAY YOUR LAST RESPECTS. 442 00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:27,676 - COME ON. LET GO OF ME. 443 00:19:28,371 --> 00:19:29,695 - THANKS, LAVERNE. 444 00:19:30,006 --> 00:19:32,391 SOPHIA, FLOWERS WERE GREAT. THANKS. 445 00:19:32,896 --> 00:19:34,957 THIS WAS NEAT. YEAH. 446 00:19:36,379 --> 00:19:38,409 HEY, YOU--IT'S A FUNERAL. 447 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,531 WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO WEAR BLACK? 448 00:19:48,213 --> 00:19:51,053 - YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE WHEN IDA NARTINO DIED. 449 00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:52,727 THREE KINDS OF COFFEE CAKE. 450 00:19:52,762 --> 00:19:55,013 NOW THAT WAS A FUNERAL. 451 00:19:57,634 --> 00:20:00,568 - HEY, MAXINE. LET ME GET YOU A BEVERAGE. 452 00:20:13,149 --> 00:20:15,249 CHECK IT OUT. IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY. 453 00:20:15,285 --> 00:20:17,337 MY NAILS AND HAIR ARE STILL GROWING. 454 00:20:18,543 --> 00:20:19,797 - VERY NICE. 455 00:20:19,824 --> 00:20:21,821 UH, LISTEN, CHARLEY, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, 456 00:20:21,852 --> 00:20:23,254 I THINK I MAY HAVE A BUYER. 457 00:20:23,285 --> 00:20:24,750 YOU KNOW THE ORIGINAL OWNER? 458 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,850 SUPREME COURT JUST TURNED DOWN HIS APPEAL. 459 00:20:26,901 --> 00:20:28,072 - OH. 460 00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:32,199 - I'M NEXT TO GO. I CAN FEEL IT. 461 00:20:32,235 --> 00:20:34,468 - SOPHIA, DON'T BE MORBID. 462 00:20:34,504 --> 00:20:35,636 - WHAT MORBID? 463 00:20:35,672 --> 00:20:37,428 I'M NEXT IN LINE FOR THE BATHROOM. 464 00:20:42,345 --> 00:20:44,845 - DOCTOR, DID YOU EVER REALLY WONDER 465 00:20:44,881 --> 00:20:48,373 WHAT HAPPENS TO A BODY WHEN IT PASSES TO THE GREAT BEYOND? 466 00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:50,318 - WELL, IN CHARLEY'S CASE, 467 00:20:50,353 --> 00:20:52,772 IT'LL PROBABLY END UP IN MY KITCHEN. 468 00:20:54,257 --> 00:20:55,680 [clinging glass] 469 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,089 - ATTENTION, ATTENTION, GRIEVING FAMILY AND FRIENDS. 470 00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:02,137 THE DECEASED WOULD LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS. 471 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,745 - THANK YOU, CAROL. 472 00:21:06,357 --> 00:21:08,993 "DEAR PENTHOUSE, I'M A HEALTH--" 473 00:21:14,057 --> 00:21:15,427 [clears throat] 474 00:21:15,792 --> 00:21:17,559 "I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING. 475 00:21:17,594 --> 00:21:20,095 "AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY COUSIN, MAX, 476 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:22,854 "WHO GAVE HIS LIFE TO MAKE THIS DAY POSSIBLE. 477 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,533 "I ALSO WANNA THANK MY GOOD FRIEND, HARRY, 478 00:21:25,569 --> 00:21:26,901 FOR THE USE OF HIS HOUSE." 479 00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:28,436 THAT REMINDS ME. 480 00:21:28,472 --> 00:21:31,042 HARRY, CAN WE USE YOUR HOUSE? 481 00:21:33,477 --> 00:21:34,776 AND BY THE WAY, 482 00:21:34,811 --> 00:21:36,945 IF ANYBODY HAS ANY BOOKSHELVES OR STUFF TO MOVE, 483 00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:39,293 I STILL HAVE THE HEARSE FOR ANOTHER COUPLE HOURS. 484 00:21:40,817 --> 00:21:42,083 - MS. WESTON, I GOTTA TELL YOU, 485 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,152 THIS WAS REALLY A GREAT IDEA. 486 00:21:44,187 --> 00:21:46,588 MAYBE WE SHOULD DISCUSS A BUSINESS PROPOSITION. 487 00:21:46,623 --> 00:21:48,289 - I'M WAY AHEAD OF YOU, STU. 488 00:21:48,325 --> 00:21:51,726 HOW'S THIS? "FUNERALS... 489 00:21:51,762 --> 00:21:54,706 THEY'RE NOT JUST FOR DEAD PEOPLE ANYMORE." 490 00:22:02,063 --> 00:22:04,547 - WELL, NOT THAT I'M TOO SUPERSTITIOUS, DOCTOR. 491 00:22:04,586 --> 00:22:07,420 BUT BACK IN HICKORY, WE HAD A MAN--I SWEAR-- 492 00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:10,297 COME BACK FROM THE DEAD. ORVILLE FITCH. 493 00:22:10,425 --> 00:22:12,563 HE WAS THE LOCAL BRAIN SURGEON. 494 00:22:13,061 --> 00:22:14,842 HE WENT OUT A-RIDIN' ONE NIGHT, 495 00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:16,890 AND HIS HORSE GOT SPOOKED AND RUN OFF. 496 00:22:16,926 --> 00:22:19,793 AND POOR ORVILLE WONDERED AIMLESSLY FOR DAYS 497 00:22:19,829 --> 00:22:21,605 TRYIN' TO FIND HIS WAY HOME. 498 00:22:21,639 --> 00:22:23,397 THEY SAY HE DIED OUT THERE. 499 00:22:23,432 --> 00:22:26,066 AND TO THIS DAY, WHEN YOU'RE OUT THERE ON A MOONLIT NIGHT, 500 00:22:26,102 --> 00:22:28,802 PEOPLE SWEAR YOU CAN STILL HEAR THE PLAINTIVE CRIES 501 00:22:28,838 --> 00:22:31,039 OF THE HORSELESS HEADMAN. 502 00:22:31,841 --> 00:22:34,842 [laughing] 503 00:22:39,949 --> 00:22:41,782 NOW, COME ON, ADMIT IT, DOCTOR. 504 00:22:41,817 --> 00:22:43,350 I REALLY HAD YOU GOIN' THERE, DIDN'T I? 505 00:22:43,385 --> 00:22:44,684 DIDN'T I? 506 00:22:45,254 --> 00:22:48,288 - NO, BUT I'M A-GOIN' RIGHT NOW. 507 00:22:48,338 --> 00:22:52,888 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36464

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