Original subtitles

- [whistling]

AHOY, CAPTAIN DADDY!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- I THINK IF A SAILOR COMES DOWN THOSE STAIRS

WEARING YOUR DRESS, YOU'RE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.

- SILLY DADDY.

ALL THE MOMS FROM THE QUALITY TIME CLUB

ARE TOTING THEIR TOTS DISNEY WORLD FOR AN OVERNIGHT.

SO I GOT SCOTTY AND ME MATCHING OUTFITS.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WON'T JOIN US?

THEY HAVE THIS IN YOUR SIZE.

- OH, NO, THEY DON'T.

- HARRY, I GOTTA TALK TO YOU.

HEY, CAROL'S COPYIN' ME.

- I AM NOT. - ARE TOO.

- AM NOT! - ARE TOO!

- BUH-DUH-BUH! PLEASE.

CHARLEY, COME ON, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

- IT'S NOT MY MIND, HARRY. IT'S MY HEART.

I MET THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS.

HARRY, I'M SMUT.

- TRUE.

BUT I THINK THE WORD YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS SMITTEN.

- WHATEVER.

HER NAME'S REBECCA AND WE MET ON THE SHIP,

AND WE DID SOMETHING I'VE NEVER DONE WITH A WOMAN BEFORE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WE TALKED.

SAT ON THE DECK UNDER THE STARS

AND TALKED FOR HOURS.

SHE SAID SHE'D DONE IT BEFORE, BUT...

IT WAS MY FIRST TIME.

- CHARLEY, THIS IS SO UNLIKE YOU.

- THIS IS ONE HIGH-CLASS BABE.

HARRY, CAN I INVITE HER OVER FOR DINNER?

I REALLY WANT TO IMPRESS HER.

- OH, GOOD MOVE, CHARLEY.

DAZZLE HER WITH YOUR FREELOADING SKILLS.

- TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE,

MISS "STILL LIVES AT HOME WITH DADDY."

AND I KNOW YOU COPIED ME.

- I DID NOT! - WILL YOU PLEASE?

THE BOTH OF YOU, JUST STOP, ALL RIGHT?

CHARLEY, WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER

TO TAKE HER TO A NICE RESTAURANT?

- WELL, I FIGURED IF SHE MEETS

MY REFINED, SOPHISTICATED FRIENDS,

SHE'LL THINK I'M LIKE THAT TOO.

- HA!

I'M GLAD I WON'T BE HERE.

I'LL BE AT THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH.

- IF THIS DINNER WORKS, SO WILL I.

[upbeat music]

- LIFE GOES ON

AND SO DO WE

JUST HOW WE DO IT

IS NO MYSTERY

ONE BY ONE

WE FILL THE DAYS

WE FIND A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAY

SOMETIMES THE ANSWER CAN BE HARD TO FIND

THAT'S SOMETHING I WILL NEVER BE

I'M ALWAYS HERE

FOR ANYTHING YOU NEED

RAIN OR SHINE

I'LL BE THE ONE

TO SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

WE SHARE IT ALL

AS LIFE GOES ON

- YEAH, HE'S RUGGED AND STRONG

AND QUIET AND...

I JUST START TO TINGLE WHENEVER I STAND NEXT TO HIM.

BUT ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END,

SO I'VE DECIDED TO SELL HIM.

NOW, THE AD MUST SAY,

"NEW TIRES, NEW BRAKES,

RUNS EXCELLENT."

AND SPELL THAT "X-L-N-T."

EVERY PENNY COUNTS.

ESPECIALLY ON MY SALARY.

UH-HUH. THANK YOU.

- LAVERNE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SELLING YOUR TRUCK.

- OH, YOU WOULD IF YOU SAW THE HOT LITTLE RAGTOP

I JUST PUT A DEPOSIT ON.

WE ARE TALKIN' DELUXE SPORTY.

- SO, UM, HOW MUCH YOU ASKING FOR YOUR TRUCK?

- WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D WANT TO KNOW,

UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU WAS INTERESTED

IN BUYING THE VEHICLE,

WHICH IS ACADEMIC, BECAUSE THEY AIN'T NO WAY

I WOULD EVER SELL A USED CAR TO A FRIEND.

- WOULD YOU SELL IT TO ME?

- THAT'S WORSE.

- COME ON, LAVERNE.

ALWAYS WANTED A TRUCK,

AND NEVER GONNA FIND ONE

THAT'S BEEN BETTER CARED FOR THAN YOURS.

- ALL RIGHT, DOCTOR, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

BUT FIRST, LET'S TAKE IT ON A TEST DRIVE.

- LAVERNE, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.

I KNOW THE TRUCK DRIVES FINE.

- IT AIN'T THE TRUCK I'M TESTIN', DOCTOR.

- COMBED MY HAIR.

BRUSHED MY TEETH.

OH, MY GOD.

MY FACE GOT ALL FAT.

- GIVE ME THAT. YOU'RE SCARING THE BOWL.

- HARRY, I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING.

WE NEED A CODE WORD.

- A CODE WORD?

- WELL, IN CASE I FORGET MY MANNERS IN FRONT OF REBECCA.

I KNOW, IF I DO SOMETHING UNCOUTH,

YOU SAY...

SNICKERDOODLE.

- AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK THAT

INTO A CONVERSATION?

- I DON'T KNOW.

"ANYBODY SEEN MY SNICKERDOODLE?"

- HEY, HEY, HEY, I GOT AN EMERGENCY HERE.

- OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- IT'S YOUR GARBAGE DISPOSAL.

IT'S CLOGGED WITH SCHMUTZ.

- LET ME TAKE A LOOK HERE.

PUH! NOW, THAT'S SCHMUTZ, ALL RIGHT.

LET ME SEE IF I CAN DO SOMETHING.

CHARLEY, HAND ME THAT BROOM, WILL YOU?

- COOL.

THIS IS LIKE THE OPERATING ROOM, AND I'M YOUR NURSE.

- WILL YOU STOP THAT?

[knock on door]

- THAT'S REBECCA. ISN'T SHE GREAT?

- YUTZ, LET HER IN

BEFORE HER ARM FALLS OFF.

- HI, CHARLEY. - HI, HI.

REBECCA KIMBALL, THIS IS SOPHIA PETRILLO.

SOPHIA PETRILLO, THIS IS REBECCA KIMBALL.

REBECCA KIMBALL, THIS IS HARRY WESTON.

HARRY WESTON, THIS IS REBECCA KIMBALL.

- AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY YOU BET YOUR LIFE.

- SOPHIA, THAT WAS THE BEST ITALIAN FOOD

I'VE HAD IN YEARS.

- OH, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S THE BEST ITALIAN FOOD YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE.

- DREYF, DREYF, STOP THAT.

- OH, IT'S OKAY.

I LOVE THIS GUY. WHAT IS HE?

- A DOG.

- AND WHAT A PRETTY DOG YOU ARE.

YOU KNOW, CHARLEY, IF I HAD NEIGHBORS LIKE THIS,

I DON'T THINK I'D EVER GO HOME.

- WELL, I DON'T LIKE TO IMPOSE.

- YEAH, AND I DON'T NEED A PHONE BOOK TO DRIVE.

- SO, UH, REBECCA,

WE'VE SPENT ALL THIS TIME TALKING ABOUT US.

UH, WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT...LINE OF WORK ARE YOU IN?

- ACTUALLY, I'M A LITTLE RELUCTANT TO SAY.

SOMETIMES IT MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

- SHE'S A HOOKER!

- SOPHIA!

REBECCA, WHATEVER YOU DO

COULD NEVER MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

- THANKS, CHARLEY.

I'M A MINISTER.

- [forced laugh]

NO KIDDING?

A MINSTER. WELL...

THAT'S JUST WHAT I WAS GONNA GUESS.

EXCUSE ME.

HARRY, SHOULDN'T WE CHECK ON THE SNICKERDOODLES?

- UM, PLEASE.

EX-EXCUSE US.

SO SORRY.

- [hyperventilating]

HARRY, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

I'M WITH A HOLY CHICK.

- CHARLEY, JUST RELAX.

- BUT SHE SPENDS SUNDAY MORNING IN CHURCH!

TO ME, SUNDAY MORNING IS JUST LIKE...

REALLY LATE SATURDAY NIGHT.

- CHARLEY, COME ON.

MINISTERS ARE PEOPLE TOO.

I MEAN, THEY CAN DATE. THEY CAN HAVE RELATIONSHIPS.

I MEAN, THEY DO EVERYTHING THAT WE DO.

WELL, THAT I DO.

- WHAT IF I SCREW UP?

SHE'S SO GOOD, AND I'M--

WELL, HOW CAN I PUT THIS IN RELIGIOUS TERMS?

THE ANTI-GOOD.

- CHARLEY, COME ON, LOOK.

SHE LIKES YOU.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

BUT SHE DOES.

SO COME ON, JUST GO AND BE YOURSELF.

- RIGHT, GOTCHA. - OKAY.

- BE MYSELF.

SO WE PROBABLY SHOULD GIVE THE EXTRA SNICKERDOODLES

TO THE ORPHANAGE.

YOU KNOW WHAT SISTER MARY SAYS:

"SHARING IS GOOD.

AMEN."

- SO, UH, REBECCA,

WHERE IS YOUR CHURCH?

- IT'S ON THE CORNER OF CITRUS AND CANAL.

- IS THAT YOUR CHURCH?

I--I--I PASS IT EVERY DAY ON MY WAY TO WORK.

- WELL, STOP IN SOMETIME.

HAVE A PRAYER ON ME.

- I KNOW WHERE THAT IS.

HEY, WHO COMES UP WITH ALL THOSE CATCHY SAYINGS

ON YOUR SIGN?

- OH, A BUNCH OF GUYS.

MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE, JOHN.

- THE BEATLES?

- [giggles]

ANYWAY, IT'S A GREAT CONGREGATION.

WE DO A LOT OF WORK IN THE COMMUNITY.

THAT REMINDS ME, I'VE GOT AN EARLY MORNING.

WE'RE STARING OUR ANNUAL CLOTHING DRIVE.

- OH I'LL WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR.

- WELL, IT WAS LOVELY TO MEET YOU,

AND I HOPE WET WAS SEE YOU AGAIN SOMETIME.

- I HOPE SO.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, ALL. THANKS FOR A LOVELY EVENING.

- HEY, DID YOU SEE THIS ONE?

HERE'S THE CHURCH...

HERE'S THE STEEPLE...

OPEN THE DOORS AND...

HEY, WHERE'S ALL THE PEOPLE?

MUST BE SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.

- HEH.

- HARRY! SOMEBODY STOLE MY TRUCK.

- WHAT? ARE YOU SURE?

WAIT A MINUTE, HAVE YOU LOOKED EVERYWHERE?

- WELL...

I HAVEN'T CHECKED THE MEN'S ROOM.

OF COURSE I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE.

DAMN, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I ONLY HAD IT TWO DAYS.

- BOY, LAVERNE'S GONNA KILL YOU.

- WHY? IT'S MY TRUCK.

IT WAS LOCKED. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

- NO, YOU DIDN'T, AND LAVERNE'S GONNA KILL YOU.

- SORRY TO DUCK OUT ON YOU LIKE THAT, DOCTOR,

BUT I NOTICED THE TRUCK WAS PINGIN'

SO I RUN IT DOWN TO THE AUTO SUPPLY

AND GOT YOU A SPARK PLUG GAPPER.

- YOU TOOK MY TRUCK?

- YEP. READJUSTED THE SPACIN' FOR YOU

RIGHT THERE IN THE PARKIN' LOT-- NO CHARGE.

- LAVERNE...

WHEN I DROVE MY TRUCK IN THIS MORNING,

WHICH IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL IT,

SINCE I WROTE YOU THAT BIG, FAT CHECK,

I DIDN'T NOTICE ANY PINGING.

- DOCTOR, BELIEVE ME,

I PERFORMED A VALUABLE ADJUSTMENT ON THAT ENGINE.

NOW, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE GOIN' DOWN THE ROAD

AND HAVE YOUR FUEL INJECTORS CLUNK OUT, WOULD YOU?

- WELL, NO, I WOULDN'T.

- YOU DON'T HAVE FUEL INJECTORS.

YOU GOT DUAL CARBS.

AIN'T YOU READ THE MANUAL?

- LAVERNE, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SELL THE TRUCK BACK TO YOU?

- DON'T BE SILLY, DOCTOR.

IT'S YOUR TRUCK.

ALTHOUGH I PERSONALLY WOULD NOT PARK IT

UNDER THEM GEORGIA PINES ON ACCOUNT OF BIRD DROPPIN'S

AND THE OCCASIONAL SPLAT OF SAP.

- LAVERNE, IT'S A TRUCK.

IT'S A BIG, METAL MACHINE.

IT GETS YOU FROM POINT "A" TO POINT "B"!

THAT'S IT.

- NOT TO ME.

I WORKED ON THAT TRUCK.

I LAUGHED IN THAT TRUCK.

I CRIED IN THAT TRUCK.

COUPLE OF TIMES I EVEN...

OKAY. YOU'RE RIGHT.

FROM THIS POINT FORWARD,

I AM OFFICIALLY DISENGAGIN' MYSELF FROM THAT TRUCK,

MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY.

- GOOD.

- UM, THERE'S JUST ONE LITTLE THING

ABOUT THE TRUCK, DOCTOR.

UM, THIS SATURDAY'S HIS BIRTHDAY.

- HEH HEH, WHOA...

THIS IS GETTIN' SCARY.

- HEY, I'M NOT ASKIN' TO COME TO THE PARTY.

- [shudders]

- THOU SHALT NOT SAND AGAINST THE GRAIN.

- HARRY! - HI.

I BROUGHT YOU SOME STUFF FOR YOUR CLOTHING DRIVE.

- WELL, THANK YOU. EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS.

BESIDES, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH MONEY

WE FIND IN THE POCKETS.

- HEH, $1.33.

I ALREADY WENT THROUGH THEM.

HERE, COME HERE. LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.

- OH, THANKS.

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD YOU CAME BY.

I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT CHARLEY.

I THINK HE HAS A LITTLE CRUSH ON ME.

- AH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE A LITTLE.

- I DIDN'T MEAN TO MISLEAD HIM.

WHEN I MET CHARLEY, THOUGHT HE COULD USE A FRIEND.

HE SEEMED LIKE SUCH A LOST SOUL.

- YEAH, WELL , CHARLEY, HE'S KIND OF...

- HARRY, I KNOW WHO CHARLEY IS.

ON THE CRUISE, I ASKED HIM IF HE BELIEVED IN GOD.

HE SAID HE WOULD IF HE EVER WOKE UP

NEXT TO CHRISTIE BRINKLEY.

- SOUNDS LIKE CHARLEY, BUT REMEMBER,

HE DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A MINISTER.

- OH, HARRY, THAT'S SWEET, STANDING UP FOR YOUR FRIEND.

- YEAH, WELL... THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.

- WELL, CHARLEY HAS GREAT TASTE IN PEOPLE.

I'M REALLY GLAD I MET YOU.

- ME TOO.

I MEAN, HOW OFTEN DOES A GUY

GET A CHANCE TO SAND A PEW, YOU KNOW?

- HARRY...

- [grunts]

- YOU'RE SANDING MY HAND.

- OH! I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

I'M--I'M--YOU KNOW, I...

YOU PROBABLY NEED THAT TO--

TO BLESS WITH.

- [laughs]

YEAH, WELL, I REALLY SHOULD GET TO CHOIR PRACTICE.

- WELL, THEN, I SHOULD PROBABLY GIVE YOU YOUR HAND BACK.

- RIGHT.

AHEM. - WELL...

- DO YOU WANT TO GET COFFEE LATER?

- UM, YEAH, I'D-- I'D LIKE THAT.

- GREAT.

WELL, I REALLY SHOULD GO, OR...

THEY'LL START CHOIR PRACTICE WITHOUT ME.

- WELL...

- HARRY...

UM, I NEVER THANKED YOU FOR THE CLOTHES.

- AH, IT'S NOTHING.

- [choir singing]

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH

HALL-E-LUJAH

HALLELUJAH...

- CAROL?

[sighs] I NEED SOME ADVICE.

- DID I HEAR CORRECTLY?

ME? ADVICE?

OH, THAT THE DAY HAS DAWNED WHEN YOU,

THE WISEST DADDY I KNOW,

WOULD COME TO ME FOR COUNSEL.

I AM TRULY HUMBLED.

- IT'LL KEEP. IT'S NOT A BIG PROBLEM.

- NO, NO. STOP RIGHT THERE.

IF IT IS ADVICE YOU SEEK, SEEK NO FURTHER.

REMEMBER, DADDY: PROBLEMS ARE MY LIFE.

- THIS IS TRUE. UM...

WELL, IT'S--IT'S ABOUT CHARLEY'S FRIEND REBECCA.

I HAVE A TERRIBLE CONFESSION. IT'S...

WE WENT OUT FOR COFFEE.

- SO?

- SO? SO I WENT OUT ON A DATE WITH REBECCA.

HOW COULD I DO THIS TO CHARLEY?

- WELL, IS SHE INTERESTED IN HIM?

- WELL...NO.

- DADDY, PLEASE.

WITH CHARLEY'S ATTENTION SPAN,

HE'S PROBABLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT HER ALREADY.

- HEY, HARRY, LOOK AT THE GIFT I GOT FOR REBECCA.

- JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT THE BOOB FIGURED OUT.

[speaking French]

- LOOK, IT'S A RELIGIOUS GIFT.

- CHARLEY, UH, SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

PLEASE.

CHARLEY, YOU KNOW HOW, UM,

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU--

YOU FIND A WOMAN VERY ATTRACTIVE,

AND SHE LIKES YOU, BUT...

SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR YOU?

- HARRY, SAY NO MORE.

I HAVE THE ANSWER TO YOUR PAIN.

SUZY KRAMER. SHE'LL DO IT WITH ANYBODY.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. CHA-CHARLEY, UM...

UH, YESTERDAY, I SAW REBECCA.

- OH, WHERE?

- UH, AT THE CHURCH.

I-I BROUGHT SOME STUFF BY FOR HER, YOU KNOW,

CLOTHING DRIVE.

- YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, HARRY.

YOU KNOW, YOU AND REBECCA

ARE PROBABLY THE TWO BEST PEOPLE I KNOW.

- [sighs]

AH, THANKS, CHARLEY.

UM...LOOK, I-I DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO PUT THIS.

BUT...REBECCA DOESN'T HAVE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR YOU.

- WHAT? WELL, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

- WELL, YOU KNOW, WE WERE TALKING,

AND, NATURALLY, YOUR NAME CAME UP.

- DID YOU SAY I WAS AN IDIOT?

- NO, WE JUST TALKED ABOUT YOU.

- THAT'S THAT SAME THING.

OH, WELL, THIS IS JUST GREAT.

WHAT ELSE DID YOU TALK ABOUT?

- AH, YOU KNOW, SANDING AND CLOTHING AND...

I DON'T KNOW, LOTS OF STUFF.

WE JUST SORT OF... HIT IT OFF.

- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HITTING IT OFF WITH MY GIRL?

- CHARLEY, SHE-- SHE'S NOT YOUR GIRL.

AND SHE IS A MINISTER.

I MEAN, SHE PRAYS, CHARLEY.

SHE--SHE LEADS A GOOD, CLEAN LIFE.

THINK ABOUT IT.

- PEOPLE CAN CONVERT.

HARRY, YOU STOLE MY GIRL.

I'M GONNA GET A SHIRT FOR YOU.

THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS.

GET IT?

- MORNING.

- UH, DOCTOR, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

I'VE BEEN THINKIN' ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID

ABOUT THE TRUCK BEING A MACHINE AND...

I SHOULDN'T BE EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED.

- GOOD, I'M GLAD YOU'VE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT.

- ME TOO, AND THE LIGHT IS: YOU'RE WRONG,

AND I WANT MY TRUCK BACK.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK IT IS?

I THINK YOU CAN'T STAND TO SEE

SOMEBODY ELSE DRIVING THAT TRUCK.

- NOW, DOCTOR, THAT IS NOT IT AT ALL.

- THEN WHAT IS IT?

- OKAY, WELL, MAYBE THAT'S IT A LITTLE BIT.

- A LITTLE BIT?

- ALL RIGHT, DOCTOR, I RECKON YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.

- GOOD, I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

BECAUSE I SOLD THE TRUCK LAST NIGHT.

- WHAT?

- LAVERNE, YOU WERE DRIVING ME CRAZY.

- OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S YOUR TRUCK.

DO WHAT YOU WANT TO.

I HOPE YOU GOT A GOOD PRICE ON IT.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA ASK YOU

HOW MUCH YOU GOT-- IT'S YOUR TRUCK.

HOW MUCH DID YOU GET FOR IT?

- LAVERNE.

- SORRY.

- YOU KNOW, JUST TO SHOW YOU I'M NOT TOTALLY INSENSITIVE...

GOT YOU A LITTLE MEMENTO.

- OH, MY TRUCK.

OH, DOCTOR, THAT IS SO SWEET.

WHAT IS THAT ON THE HOOD? THAT LOOKS LIKE SAP.

NO, NOW, WHO'D YOU SELL IT TO?

DID--DID--I'LL CALL 'EM.

I'LL TELL 'EM HOW TO BUFF THAT OUT.

- LAVERNE, DON'T BOTHER.

I SOLD IT TO A MOVIE COMPANY.

THEY GONNA BLOW IT UP.

[laughs]

[soft organ music]

- HARRY, WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.

- WOW, REBECCA, YOU LOOK SO, UH, OFFICIAL.

- OH, WELL, IT HELPS THE WEDDING COUPLE FEEL MARRIED.

- UM, LISTEN, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

BUT I SEE YOU'RE RATHER BUSY.

I CAN COME BACK LATER.

- DON'T BE SILLY. STAY.

THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.

AND THEN, AFTERWARDS, WE CAN HAVE A FREE DINNER.

[organ playing Wagner's Bridal Chorus]

[whispering] THERE'S MY CUE.

- CHARLEY.

- [sarcastically] EXCUSE ME.

I'M A FRIEND OF THE MINISTER'S.

- [whispering] YEAH, CHARLEY, BE QUIET.

- EXCUSE ME, I DON'T SPEAK TO STRANGERS.

- SHH!

- [whispering] SORRY. - YOU SHOULD BE SORRY.

BACKSTABBER, BIRD DOG.

- WELL, JUST, WE'LL-- WE'LL TALK LATER.

- WOULD YOU MIND?

MY DAUGHTER IS GETTING MARRIED UP THERE.

- HE'S SO RUDE.

- CHARLEY, THERE'S A WEDDING GOING ON.

PLEASE, JUST BE QUIET.

- NO, I WON'T BE QUIET, HARRY.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE IS JUST NOT RIGHT!

- IT MAY NOT BE RIGHT, BUT SHE'S FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT!

GIVE ME A BREAK!

- I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU MADE A PERFECT FOOL OF YOURSELF.

- AT LEAST I'M NOT A SINNER, HARRY.

DON'T YOU EVER READ THE BIBLE?

THOU SHALT NOT COVER THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE.

- SHE'S NOT YOUR WIFE.

AND IT'S COVET, NOT COVER.

- WELL, THANK YOU, "VERBAL ROBERTS."

- IT'S "ORAL ROBERTS."

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I CAME HERE TODAY

TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO REBECCA.

- YOU DID?

- YEAH, SHE'S A TERRIFIC LADY,

BUT I--I--

I JUST-- I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU.

- WAIT, I DON'T GET IT.

YOU'RE GIVING UP REBECCA BECAUSE...

OF...ME?

- WELL, BASICALLY, YES.

- WOW.

- LOOK, CHARLEY,

EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE A MOOCH,

A PAIN IN THE NECK,

AND HAVE SINGLE-HANDEDLY LOWERED THE PROPERTY VALUES

OF THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD...

YOU'RE STILL MY FRIEND.

- AH, HARRY, THAT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING

ONE MAN CAN SAY TO ANOTHER.

WITHOUT IT BEING WEIRD.

- CHARLEY, YOU'RE CRYING.

- YEAH. [sniffles]

I GOT A SPLINTER IN MY BUTT.

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

HALLELUJAH

[music stops]

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