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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,001 _ 2 00:00:02,344 --> 00:00:04,287 CHIP: I'm kind of rebranding myself. 3 00:00:04,287 --> 00:00:07,155 We just had a barbecue funeral for my old clown, Renoir. 4 00:00:07,797 --> 00:00:09,718 - I don't want no trouble. - DALE: Oh, don't you? 5 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,318 Well, I think you do because ever since I met you, 6 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,020 you've been stirring the pot. 7 00:00:13,122 --> 00:00:16,056 If we all stay in our own lanes as business partners, 8 00:00:16,158 --> 00:00:17,782 we can get somewhere. 9 00:00:20,029 --> 00:00:22,696 KEN: Once upon a time, there was a princess that lived 10 00:00:22,798 --> 00:00:24,998 in a big, dark, echoey castle. 11 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,393 - That was no fun. - Aw! -Aw! 12 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,637 Then one day, the princess was visited by her fairy godmother. 13 00:00:31,054 --> 00:00:32,921 Suddenly, the princess had her choice 14 00:00:33,023 --> 00:00:36,658 of hundreds of styles and colors of premium carpeting. 15 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,026 What's your favorite color? 16 00:00:38,128 --> 00:00:39,058 How about... 17 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,443 my favorite color is red. 18 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,077 Red. We have those in stock, too. 19 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,346 - Delivered in five to seven business days. - _ 20 00:00:47,805 --> 00:00:51,013 - How's the fairy godmother do it, Daddy? - Do it, Daddy? 21 00:00:51,209 --> 00:00:53,496 I think she had a little help from the king. 22 00:00:54,553 --> 00:00:56,620 ? Come see Ken, The Carpet King. ? 23 00:00:58,073 --> 00:00:59,940 [LAUGHS] So cute. 24 00:01:00,237 --> 00:01:01,737 Oh, come in. Sit down. 25 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,543 Come in. I got you gifts from the woman's conference. 26 00:01:05,624 --> 00:01:08,083 - I like your bangs. - Thank you. 27 00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:09,983 - Hey, Chip. - Hey, Mom. 28 00:01:10,665 --> 00:01:11,639 Oh. 29 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,572 If it's a wrong size, I can exchange it 30 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:14,969 'cause I bought a hundred of 'em. 31 00:01:14,969 --> 00:01:16,335 They gave me a deal. 32 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,538 - What is this, magenta? - _ 33 00:01:17,563 --> 00:01:18,608 I think it is. 34 00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:20,233 - Love it. - Oh, good. 35 00:01:20,476 --> 00:01:23,328 Anyway, I know we've had our ups and downs, 36 00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:25,046 but at the women's conference, 37 00:01:25,096 --> 00:01:27,176 I learned quite a bit about business 38 00:01:27,278 --> 00:01:29,312 and I learned about branding. 39 00:01:29,414 --> 00:01:32,882 And we need to get the word out on our rodeo. 40 00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,384 So, guess what. 41 00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:38,570 - We're gonna all have to get bangs? - No. 42 00:01:38,852 --> 00:01:42,653 We're going to make a Baskets Family Rodeo commercial. 43 00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,382 Oh, now you're talking my language. 44 00:01:44,382 --> 00:01:45,912 - Thank you, Mother. - Great idea, Mom. 45 00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:47,504 It's exciting, isn't it? 46 00:01:47,606 --> 00:01:51,085 Um, I was actually working on a new clown character. 47 00:01:51,085 --> 00:01:54,046 - Maybe I can incorporate that. - And because we have 48 00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:57,699 a expert in making commercials amongst us, 49 00:01:57,801 --> 00:02:00,229 I'd like to take this time to introduce... 50 00:02:00,229 --> 00:02:01,628 I don't need an introduction. 51 00:02:01,653 --> 00:02:04,072 The Carpet King, Ken! 52 00:02:04,143 --> 00:02:06,690 - Howdy, everybody. - Ken? 53 00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:08,707 [CHUCKLES] Hi, Ken. 54 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,120 - Hey, Ken. - Hey, Chip. 55 00:02:10,121 --> 00:02:11,787 I will... Fake news! Fake news! 56 00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:13,122 I'm the commercial guy. 57 00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:14,473 Chip, tell them how many commercials I've done 58 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,001 for Baskets Career College. 59 00:02:16,093 --> 00:02:17,138 Zero? 60 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,833 I've done 55 of them. 61 00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:20,371 It's not a competition, Dale. 62 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,627 Yes, it is. Everything is. 63 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,180 - God. - Well, anyway, 64 00:02:25,399 --> 00:02:27,813 I called Channel 9 and I got the rates 65 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,682 for a 30-second commercial. 66 00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:32,285 Before we make any decisions about directing, let me, uh, 67 00:02:32,387 --> 00:02:34,700 just show you something that's, uh... one of them went viral. 68 00:02:34,975 --> 00:02:36,232 - MRS. BASKETS: Oh. - Yeah. 69 00:02:36,232 --> 00:02:38,383 Here it is. Two hits. 70 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,925 _ 71 00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:42,744 _ 72 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:45,088 It's really coming! 73 00:02:45,113 --> 00:02:46,913 Y2K is for real! 74 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,644 Y2K. 75 00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:51,768 Are you ready for the Y2K disaster 76 00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:53,159 that's gonna hit your town? 77 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,428 Experts say the grid is going down. 78 00:02:56,530 --> 00:02:58,040 Right, experts? 79 00:02:58,766 --> 00:03:02,267 Don't you get stuck in the dead-end computer tech industry. 80 00:03:02,369 --> 00:03:04,670 Sign up for one of our analog classes like: 81 00:03:04,772 --> 00:03:08,240 Archery, Motorcycle Law, 82 00:03:08,342 --> 00:03:10,776 Pottery, Child Pottery, 83 00:03:11,097 --> 00:03:13,230 Knife Sharpening, Knife Throwing. 84 00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,308 Sorry. 85 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,834 Child Care and Knife Law. 86 00:03:16,936 --> 00:03:20,091 Increase your chances of survival while having a blast 87 00:03:20,406 --> 00:03:22,638 at Baskets Career College. 88 00:03:22,842 --> 00:03:24,942 Take it from me... I'm not only the dean, 89 00:03:25,044 --> 00:03:26,744 but I'm building a bunker. 90 00:03:26,846 --> 00:03:28,779 Proud to be California's first and only 91 00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:30,751 open carry career college. 92 00:03:32,339 --> 00:03:33,417 Uh, yes, hello. 93 00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:36,587 I'm looking for a-a c-clown book section. 94 00:03:37,136 --> 00:03:39,790 Any books on clowning or the history of clowning. 95 00:03:39,892 --> 00:03:42,626 I'm working on a character, a clowning character. 96 00:03:42,728 --> 00:03:45,396 Uh, or, you know, any kind of instruction manuals 97 00:03:45,498 --> 00:03:48,866 - on, um, creativity in general. - Hmm. 98 00:03:48,968 --> 00:03:50,834 I'm a little rusty on the Dewey Decimal System, 99 00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:51,929 so I need some help. 100 00:03:51,929 --> 00:03:53,485 So, have a seat here. 101 00:03:54,031 --> 00:03:56,364 I'll pull you some books and I'll be right back. 102 00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:57,843 Okay, thank you. 103 00:04:05,925 --> 00:04:07,275 [SNORTING] 104 00:04:23,227 --> 00:04:25,560 ? 105 00:04:29,814 --> 00:04:31,066 [LAUGHS] 106 00:04:31,846 --> 00:04:33,016 That's good, though. 107 00:04:41,253 --> 00:04:42,221 [MOANS] 108 00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:44,471 LIBRARIAN: Oh, no! No, Barry! 109 00:04:44,573 --> 00:04:45,605 I told you not to pee in that plant! 110 00:04:45,731 --> 00:04:46,980 Out! Out! 111 00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:50,668 Oh! Oh, God! 112 00:04:50,770 --> 00:04:51,835 Oh. 113 00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:54,006 KEN: I just think 114 00:04:54,006 --> 00:04:56,066 the more real and natural your spot is, 115 00:04:56,066 --> 00:04:59,013 the more people can relate and trust what you're saying. 116 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,058 Hmm. That's too old-fashioned. 117 00:05:01,105 --> 00:05:02,928 What people want now is razzle-dazzle. 118 00:05:02,953 --> 00:05:05,134 What that razzle-dazzle is, is sex. 119 00:05:05,229 --> 00:05:06,774 You know, sex sells. 120 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,431 They want cleavage, they want midsections, that kind of thing. 121 00:05:09,479 --> 00:05:11,198 Boobies, tits, you know... 122 00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:13,499 But, Dale, it's a rodeo. 123 00:05:13,668 --> 00:05:17,445 Well, I'm not talking like bestiality, Ken. Sicko. 124 00:05:18,154 --> 00:05:19,796 MRS. BASKETS: I've got an idea. 125 00:05:19,796 --> 00:05:22,697 Why don't both of you do your own commercial 126 00:05:23,092 --> 00:05:25,603 and then I'll decide which one to use? 127 00:05:25,603 --> 00:05:27,716 Oh, you mean like a little film festival type thing. 128 00:05:27,747 --> 00:05:28,748 MRS. BASKETS: Uh-huh. 129 00:05:28,773 --> 00:05:31,073 I could be into that. I could, I could do, like, 130 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,198 a little competition, if that's what you mean. 131 00:05:33,223 --> 00:05:35,951 - Sure. I'm cool with it. - DALE: Okay, Ken. 132 00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,361 - Let the best man win. - [CHUCKLES] 133 00:05:39,321 --> 00:05:40,754 CHIP: So, are you guys gonna want 134 00:05:40,779 --> 00:05:42,979 two different clowns for each spot? 135 00:05:43,158 --> 00:05:45,125 'Cause I have a lot of, a lot of options I can give you. 136 00:05:45,227 --> 00:05:48,578 Nothing really specific, uh, yet. 137 00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:51,713 Uh, but I have the essence of-of several clowns, um, but, 138 00:05:51,816 --> 00:05:55,659 uh, they're still kind of in the-the building phase. Um... 139 00:05:55,707 --> 00:05:57,807 You'll bring your clown nose, right? 140 00:05:58,355 --> 00:06:00,340 'Cause I think that's all we need. 141 00:06:01,057 --> 00:06:03,128 Yeah, there's-there's more to it than that, though. 142 00:06:03,128 --> 00:06:05,175 I know. I know. 143 00:06:05,518 --> 00:06:07,495 Nobody really gives a shit about that. 144 00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:09,731 Uh, yeah, I have a nose. 145 00:06:09,756 --> 00:06:10,794 MRS. BASKETS: Good. 146 00:06:11,154 --> 00:06:12,784 Anyway, you know what I like? 147 00:06:12,784 --> 00:06:14,417 I love a jingle. 148 00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:16,131 Like, at the end of the spot. 149 00:06:16,131 --> 00:06:19,132 Like... ? Ro, ro, rodeo. ? 150 00:06:19,234 --> 00:06:21,669 [CHUCKLES] Baby, I'll do whatever you want. 151 00:06:21,694 --> 00:06:22,626 Oh. 152 00:06:22,704 --> 00:06:24,678 See, but he has a sexual advantage on you 153 00:06:24,703 --> 00:06:25,736 that I don't have. 154 00:06:26,797 --> 00:06:28,188 I can be objective. 155 00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:29,282 Okay. 156 00:06:29,658 --> 00:06:30,757 [OVEN BEEPS] 157 00:06:30,782 --> 00:06:32,202 Oh, the pie! 158 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,804 Chip, will you get the pie for me? 159 00:06:33,829 --> 00:06:35,762 - Yep. - Thank you. 160 00:06:35,787 --> 00:06:36,719 No pie for me. 161 00:06:36,719 --> 00:06:39,862 Thank you very much for the tacos, Mother. Kenneth. 162 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,869 I got that from the woman's conference, 163 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:47,604 pitting people against each other, competition. 164 00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:50,007 [CHUCKLES] I knew you had something cooking over there. 165 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,408 - Oh, it's hot! - Aah! 166 00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,576 That's hot! 167 00:06:52,991 --> 00:06:55,039 Oh. Are you okay? 168 00:06:55,547 --> 00:06:57,233 Scorched my arm. 169 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,666 Oh, God. 170 00:06:59,048 --> 00:07:01,379 What about Clumbso for a name for a clown? 171 00:07:01,404 --> 00:07:02,770 [CHUCKLING]: Oh. 172 00:07:05,201 --> 00:07:07,060 Just like a TV weatherman, 173 00:07:07,085 --> 00:07:08,685 setting up a green screen. 174 00:07:09,273 --> 00:07:10,839 MRS. BASKETS [OVER INTERCOM]: Paging Dale Baskets. 175 00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:12,808 It's your mother. Please come to the barn area. 176 00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:14,743 We're shooting Ken's commercial. 177 00:07:14,845 --> 00:07:17,530 Starting already? I'm still setting up my commercial. 178 00:07:17,668 --> 00:07:20,404 Dale, we're all here, waiting for you. 179 00:07:20,937 --> 00:07:23,192 Your outfit's laid out on the chair, honey. 180 00:07:24,855 --> 00:07:26,693 DALE: But I already have a nice top. 181 00:07:26,887 --> 00:07:28,843 - You ready? - Yeah, yeah, we're looking really great. 182 00:07:28,868 --> 00:07:30,155 Thanks for making the cue cards. 183 00:07:30,452 --> 00:07:33,293 Now, Chip, I want you to stand right here next to your mom. 184 00:07:33,465 --> 00:07:35,705 - That should be your mark. - CHIP: I wanted to thank you 185 00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:36,950 for not holding my feet next to the fire 186 00:07:37,028 --> 00:07:38,160 for my new clown character. 187 00:07:38,574 --> 00:07:39,767 It's-it's almost there, 188 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:41,901 it's just not there yet, so thanks for understanding. 189 00:07:42,516 --> 00:07:44,155 Yeah. Great. Sure. 190 00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:46,469 - Here I am. - KEN: Dale! Looking good. 191 00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:47,816 Put a mic on him. 192 00:07:48,086 --> 00:07:49,284 Hi, I'm Greg. 193 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,752 I'm gonna put a mic on you. 194 00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:52,321 Okay. Good for you, Greg. 195 00:07:52,787 --> 00:07:55,021 All right, and this is gonna go right down here. 196 00:07:55,021 --> 00:07:57,021 Whoa, your hands... I got it. Thank you very much. 197 00:07:57,122 --> 00:07:59,204 Your hands are a bit... chilly. 198 00:07:59,458 --> 00:08:01,958 - Your mark is right here nextto your mom. - Thank you, Ken. 199 00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,695 Hey, Mom. God, you look like Nellie Oleson. 200 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,797 - Thank you. - [QUIETLY]:It's not a compliment, Mother. 201 00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:11,034 Okay, so, now, this is a Wild West scenario. 202 00:08:11,565 --> 00:08:13,837 We're gonna start with Christine's first line, 203 00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,581 then we'll go over to Chip, 204 00:08:15,581 --> 00:08:17,021 then we'll push in to Dale, and then 205 00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,315 we'll swing back to Christine. 206 00:08:18,417 --> 00:08:20,535 - Really, very simple, okay? - GREG: Perfect. 207 00:08:20,682 --> 00:08:22,182 - All right, here we go. - [MRS. BASKETS CLEARS THROAT] 208 00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:23,740 Lines are on the cue cards. 209 00:08:23,762 --> 00:08:25,461 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. Here we go. 210 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,552 GREG: We're rolling. 211 00:08:26,598 --> 00:08:28,398 And action. 212 00:08:28,649 --> 00:08:32,017 Y'all come down to the Baskets Family Rodeo. 213 00:08:32,119 --> 00:08:34,720 Horses and bulls, cowboys and clowns. 214 00:08:34,923 --> 00:08:36,548 We're Baskersfie... 215 00:08:37,171 --> 00:08:38,176 I said "Bask..." 216 00:08:38,493 --> 00:08:40,112 We're Basketsfield's new... 217 00:08:40,211 --> 00:08:42,088 - MRS. BASKETS: Bakersfield. - DALE: "We're Bakersfield's..." 218 00:08:42,113 --> 00:08:43,318 It's a tongue twister. 219 00:08:43,318 --> 00:08:45,078 - Bakersfield's. - Isn't it? It's a mouthful. 220 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,886 I think it's because you put the possessive on it. 221 00:08:46,988 --> 00:08:48,755 That's okay, that's okay, it was just a rehearsal. 222 00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:50,857 We're just loosening up, okay? 223 00:08:51,274 --> 00:08:52,506 All right, everybody ready? 224 00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:53,774 [CLEARING THROAT] 225 00:08:53,876 --> 00:08:55,142 KEN: Here we go. 226 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:57,344 And action. 227 00:08:57,447 --> 00:09:00,581 Y'all come down to the Baskets Family Rodeo. 228 00:09:00,683 --> 00:09:02,683 Horses and bulls, cowboys and clowns. 229 00:09:02,785 --> 00:09:06,053 We're Bakersfield's new home for family flan. 230 00:09:06,155 --> 00:09:07,688 - Fawn. Fun. - MRS. BASKETS: Ah! 231 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,179 - [SIGHS] - Almost. 232 00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:11,492 Dale, it's "family fun." 233 00:09:11,492 --> 00:09:14,459 I know what I'm doing; I used to date a videographer. 234 00:09:15,036 --> 00:09:16,402 KEN: It's okay, it's okay, Dale. 235 00:09:16,504 --> 00:09:18,900 Just take your time, we'll... l-let's do another one. 236 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,039 - [SIGHS] - All right. 237 00:09:20,064 --> 00:09:22,582 Hold on, let me just... Go. 238 00:09:22,872 --> 00:09:24,699 We're all set now? You got the line? 239 00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,164 - Yes. - All right. 240 00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:27,332 Here we go. 241 00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:28,678 Ready? And action. 242 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:32,871 Y'all come down to the Baskets Family Rodeo. 243 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,564 Horses and bulls, cowboys and clowns. 244 00:09:35,564 --> 00:09:37,079 We're Nakersfield's boo vas... 245 00:09:37,104 --> 00:09:38,198 [SIGHS] 246 00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:41,844 We're Nakersfield's blue... 247 00:09:42,759 --> 00:09:44,608 We're Naker... We're Bakersfield's blue... 248 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:46,279 we're Nakers... we're Bakers... 249 00:09:46,479 --> 00:09:47,544 We're Na... 250 00:09:47,647 --> 00:09:49,380 We're Bakersfield's new game... 251 00:09:49,482 --> 00:09:50,490 [EXHALES] 252 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:52,506 The lady is... you're blocking half of it, 253 00:09:52,531 --> 00:09:54,045 so I don't know if it says "home," 254 00:09:54,113 --> 00:09:56,346 - "game." - Okay, let's try one more. 255 00:09:56,448 --> 00:09:58,027 Okay? Here we go. Lots of energy. 256 00:09:58,027 --> 00:10:00,494 Can you not talk anymore, during the shoot, please? 257 00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:02,959 Because it's kind of throwing off my emotionalness 258 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,454 of the, of the scene. 259 00:10:05,263 --> 00:10:06,296 Okay, 260 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,897 - Dale. - Dale, just... 261 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,532 just chill out, okay? 262 00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:10,926 Yeah, you relax. 263 00:10:11,025 --> 00:10:12,157 All right, here we go. 264 00:10:12,519 --> 00:10:13,619 Lots of energy. 265 00:10:13,678 --> 00:10:16,205 Ready, and action. 266 00:10:16,427 --> 00:10:19,115 Y'all come down to the Baskets Family Rodeo. 267 00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:21,829 Horses and bulls, cowboys and clowns. 268 00:10:21,932 --> 00:10:24,699 We're Bakersfield's new home for family fun. 269 00:10:24,801 --> 00:10:26,933 You'll have a rootin' tootin' grea... 270 00:10:27,263 --> 00:10:28,729 Is it "good..." "great time" 271 00:10:28,831 --> 00:10:30,431 - or "good time"? - DALE: Ha! 272 00:10:30,533 --> 00:10:31,733 Idiot. That's the easiest line 273 00:10:31,767 --> 00:10:34,465 on the whole thing, Mom, and you screwed it up. 274 00:10:34,504 --> 00:10:37,171 I mean, you have the least amount of syllables or words. 275 00:10:37,273 --> 00:10:40,207 "You'll have a rootin' tootin' good time." Who can't say that? 276 00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:42,677 - [LAUGHS] - I need to get some more lipstick. 277 00:10:42,902 --> 00:10:44,642 - You need something. - KEN: Christine. 278 00:10:44,667 --> 00:10:46,647 - Wait a minute. - I'm fine, I'm fine. 279 00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:48,775 Let her go. 280 00:10:49,222 --> 00:10:50,969 What's wrong with you? You're such a tool. 281 00:10:50,995 --> 00:10:53,761 Oh, yeah? Well, least I'm not a dumb old woman. 282 00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:04,882 [SCOFFS, CHUCKLES] 283 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,769 [QUIETLY]: You're a witness. 284 00:11:11,563 --> 00:11:12,745 You're a witness. 285 00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:14,893 You're a witness. 286 00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:17,248 And you're a witness. You know why? 287 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,303 'Cause you hit me! 288 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,536 You slapped my beard! 289 00:11:20,842 --> 00:11:22,805 Nobody slaps my beard! 290 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,245 GREG: Hey, let me get that mic. 291 00:11:29,347 --> 00:11:31,080 - Get the mic off of me, please. - Uh, a-all right. 292 00:11:31,263 --> 00:11:32,829 You're not gonna hit me, too, are you? 293 00:11:32,931 --> 00:11:35,738 - GREG: No, it's fine. - DALE: I got it. Just let go of it! 294 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:36,971 - No, it's almost there. - That's good. Thank you. 295 00:11:37,074 --> 00:11:38,206 No, it's stuck... 296 00:11:38,309 --> 00:11:40,309 [VOICES FADING] 297 00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:53,952 Do you have a pen on you? 298 00:11:54,497 --> 00:11:55,636 Oh, God. 299 00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:57,169 What did I just do? 300 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,437 No? 301 00:11:58,539 --> 00:11:59,929 Okay. I got it in here. 302 00:12:01,123 --> 00:12:02,322 SAM: If you're a farmer or ranch hand 303 00:12:02,424 --> 00:12:03,539 who's been injured on a job, 304 00:12:03,539 --> 00:12:05,272 you don't want to talk to any big city lawyer who doesn't know 305 00:12:05,373 --> 00:12:07,240 the difference between alfalfa and ripgut. 306 00:12:07,342 --> 00:12:08,407 I'm one of you. 307 00:12:08,509 --> 00:12:10,276 Driller, class of '78. 308 00:12:10,378 --> 00:12:12,418 NARRATOR: Country lawyer Sam Hill has been defending 309 00:12:12,513 --> 00:12:15,516 the citizens of Bakersfield since 1994. 310 00:12:15,516 --> 00:12:18,351 Sam, I realize it's Saturday, but this is an emergency. 311 00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:20,188 I want to re-sue my mother. 312 00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:22,258 Actually, her boyfriend. 313 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,365 He hit me. 314 00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,597 SAM [OVER PHONE]: He hit you? Where? 315 00:12:24,622 --> 00:12:26,366 He smacked me right across my face! 316 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:27,901 Were there any witnesses? 317 00:12:28,003 --> 00:12:29,268 Uh, yeah. 318 00:12:29,268 --> 00:12:30,992 Hold on one second. [CLEARS THROAT] 319 00:12:31,922 --> 00:12:34,003 "Chip, where are you? 320 00:12:34,105 --> 00:12:36,072 Need you for legal reasons" 321 00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:38,469 question mark, exclamation point, 322 00:12:38,828 --> 00:12:40,612 distraught face emoji. 323 00:12:40,637 --> 00:12:41,697 Send. 324 00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:45,222 [PHONE WHOOSHES] 325 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:46,542 You're where? 326 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,386 - Christine. - Sorry I walked out, Ken. 327 00:12:50,411 --> 00:12:51,944 I just lost it. 328 00:12:52,046 --> 00:12:53,813 I'll be done with my makeup in a minute, 329 00:12:53,838 --> 00:12:54,847 and I'll be ready to shoot again. 330 00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:55,949 No, the shoot's off. 331 00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:57,017 - Uh... - Oh? 332 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:58,331 Dale kept mouthing off, and I... 333 00:12:58,419 --> 00:12:59,618 [INHALES] 334 00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:00,947 I just lost it. 335 00:13:01,627 --> 00:13:02,914 And I slapped him. 336 00:13:03,273 --> 00:13:05,316 What? What... he... you what? 337 00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:06,667 I slapped him. 338 00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:08,049 What... wha... how would you...? 339 00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:09,137 Why would...? 340 00:13:09,313 --> 00:13:10,664 Christine, I'm sorry. 341 00:13:10,731 --> 00:13:11,731 Oh. 342 00:13:11,806 --> 00:13:13,173 K-Ken, give me a minute. 343 00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:14,639 Give me a minute, please. 344 00:13:15,397 --> 00:13:16,636 Not now. 345 00:13:18,177 --> 00:13:19,513 [SIGHS] 346 00:13:25,942 --> 00:13:27,132 [SIGHS] 347 00:13:28,554 --> 00:13:29,738 Where's Chip? 348 00:13:31,023 --> 00:13:32,956 - [�? LA "IN THE HALLOF THE MOUNTAIN KING"]: - ? We are having a big sale ? 349 00:13:33,058 --> 00:13:35,259 ? Wigs and capes, bats and apes ? 350 00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:37,657 ? Oh, but wait, we're not just any Halloween store ? 351 00:13:37,657 --> 00:13:39,190 ? We are open all year round ? 352 00:13:39,292 --> 00:13:41,125 ? What's that sound? Santa's sleigh ? 353 00:13:41,227 --> 00:13:42,594 ? We have giant Easter eggs ? 354 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,462 ? Uncle Sam, witches' legs ? 355 00:13:44,564 --> 00:13:47,498 ? We are having a big sale, call and ask, prices slashed ? 356 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:50,068 ? We aren't just a Halloween and costume store ? 357 00:13:50,170 --> 00:13:52,971 ? We do birthdays, with a theme or no theme, you're the boss ? 358 00:13:53,073 --> 00:13:55,106 ? And we do Bar Mitzvahs for an added price ? 359 00:13:55,208 --> 00:13:57,575 ? Open till nine. ? 360 00:14:01,982 --> 00:14:03,982 [HUMMING "IN THE HALL OF THE MOUNTAIN KING"] 361 00:14:06,252 --> 00:14:07,836 Can I help you find something? 362 00:14:07,966 --> 00:14:09,832 Yes, hi, um, I'm a professional clown, 363 00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:12,802 and I'm looking for some clown accessories. 364 00:14:12,904 --> 00:14:15,543 Um, kind of working on a new clown character. 365 00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:18,741 Our clown wigs and noses and horns are over there. 366 00:14:18,843 --> 00:14:20,877 - Okay. - You know, what's cool right now 367 00:14:20,979 --> 00:14:22,178 is evil clowns. 368 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,046 If you get, like, balloons and an ax 369 00:14:24,149 --> 00:14:26,783 and some playing cards with, like, blood on it, 370 00:14:26,885 --> 00:14:28,251 people flip out. 371 00:14:28,353 --> 00:14:30,019 No, I'm looking for more of a... idiot. 372 00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:31,621 - [DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE] - Idiot clown. 373 00:14:31,723 --> 00:14:34,390 - [SKELETON SCREAMS] - Gah! Damn skeletons! 374 00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:35,992 What are you doing here? 375 00:14:36,094 --> 00:14:38,661 That man, that stranger... 376 00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:41,164 He slapped me in my face, and you are my witness. 377 00:14:41,266 --> 00:14:44,293 So, you are gonna be calling my lawyer. 378 00:14:44,433 --> 00:14:46,543 I'm gonna sue him and his entire family. 379 00:14:46,997 --> 00:14:48,476 Is this a stickup? 380 00:14:49,114 --> 00:14:51,230 No. I got this. 381 00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:52,553 - Calm down. - Don't touch me! 382 00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,012 I was just assaulted! 383 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,458 I will not be silenced! 384 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,693 I just want you to shut up! 385 00:14:57,054 --> 00:14:58,386 This is a place of business. 386 00:14:58,488 --> 00:15:00,108 Give me your avails for next week. 387 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:02,066 I need to set up an appointment so you can give your testimony 388 00:15:02,091 --> 00:15:03,589 to the grand jury about the attack. 389 00:15:03,589 --> 00:15:05,990 HERE'S MY TESTIMONY: You got slapped because you deserve it, 390 00:15:06,092 --> 00:15:07,612 'cause you've been a real jerk to Mom. 391 00:15:07,694 --> 00:15:09,032 Oh, you're playing the race card. 392 00:15:09,057 --> 00:15:10,661 It's so typical of you white people. 393 00:15:11,386 --> 00:15:12,385 - What are you...? - [DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE] 394 00:15:12,487 --> 00:15:13,717 - MRS. BASKETS: Dale? - God! 395 00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:15,083 Are you in here, honey? 396 00:15:15,108 --> 00:15:16,536 - [SKELETON SCREAMS] - Aah! 397 00:15:16,753 --> 00:15:17,952 Oh, God! 398 00:15:19,518 --> 00:15:21,422 Everything's 75% off. 399 00:15:21,422 --> 00:15:24,189 Dale! Dale, it's your mother! 400 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,495 - I saw your van. Where are you? - CHIP: Mom, 401 00:15:26,565 --> 00:15:28,156 we're right here. You don't have to yell. 402 00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:31,251 - Dale. - What? 403 00:15:31,507 --> 00:15:33,374 Ken told me what happened. 404 00:15:34,006 --> 00:15:36,006 I'm so sorry. Let me see your face. 405 00:15:36,108 --> 00:15:37,908 No, no, no. You're-you're the enemy. 406 00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:40,410 - You're part of the problem. - What? 407 00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:44,306 Your boyfriend slapped my face, Mom, and you, you loved it. 408 00:15:44,483 --> 00:15:46,250 I wasn't even there. 409 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:48,834 I don't even understand how it happened. 410 00:15:48,835 --> 00:15:50,720 I don't understand how it doesn't happen more often. 411 00:15:50,754 --> 00:15:51,853 You shut your mouth. 412 00:15:52,315 --> 00:15:54,022 - Chip, you're not helping. - Yeah. 413 00:15:54,671 --> 00:15:55,970 MRS. BASKETS: You're just upset. 414 00:15:56,072 --> 00:15:57,205 I'm sorry about this. 415 00:15:57,307 --> 00:15:59,340 I'm used to it. My parents are bikers. 416 00:15:59,442 --> 00:16:01,642 Yeah, I'm a little-little, uh, flummoxed. 417 00:16:01,899 --> 00:16:03,299 Yeah, I mean, to use a Jewish term, 418 00:16:03,401 --> 00:16:05,368 - I'm a little flummoxed. - Well, why don't 419 00:16:05,470 --> 00:16:07,372 you come home and I'll put some ice on your cheek? 420 00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:08,807 Oh, that's... that is not gonna happen! 421 00:16:08,832 --> 00:16:09,853 - [DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE] - I'll tell you that. 422 00:16:09,878 --> 00:16:11,356 -That will not... -Aah! 423 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,589 - [SKELETON SCREAMS] - Oh, he's trying to kill me! 424 00:16:13,882 --> 00:16:16,101 I'm gonna stay over here, Dale. 425 00:16:16,297 --> 00:16:18,297 I've just come to say I'm sorry. 426 00:16:18,401 --> 00:16:20,034 I don't know what come over me. 427 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,919 - Save it for the judge, buddy! - MRS. BASKETS: Judge? 428 00:16:22,919 --> 00:16:24,219 Dale, no. 429 00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:27,713 Oh, yes, Mother. A judge. 430 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:29,504 And guess what. I'm gonna take you 431 00:16:29,606 --> 00:16:32,445 all the way to the Supreme Court. 432 00:16:33,010 --> 00:16:34,800 - What? - What do you think about that? 433 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,111 You're just upset. 434 00:16:36,136 --> 00:16:38,369 Yeah, I'm upset! Stop saying that! 435 00:16:38,549 --> 00:16:41,116 CASHIER: Uh, real quick, we're closing in about five minutes, 436 00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:42,916 so if you have any purchases, 437 00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:44,809 bring them up to the counter now. 438 00:16:45,154 --> 00:16:46,472 Mom, I think we should buy something, 439 00:16:46,497 --> 00:16:47,817 as as apology, you know. 440 00:16:48,286 --> 00:16:50,031 Oh, uh, sure. 441 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,301 Uh, how about some of those little, uh, pumpkin lights? 442 00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:54,392 They're cute. 443 00:16:54,417 --> 00:16:55,683 Go ahead and buy your pumpkins! 444 00:16:55,712 --> 00:16:57,483 Go ahead. 'Cause you know why? 445 00:16:57,508 --> 00:17:00,224 I'm gonna sue you, you, 446 00:17:00,637 --> 00:17:02,137 you, not you. 447 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,280 Is he suing me? 448 00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:06,481 [SKELETON SCREAMS] 449 00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:08,198 MRS. BASKETS: Dale... 450 00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:12,130 leave the skeleton alone. 451 00:17:12,356 --> 00:17:13,997 [SCREAMING POWERS DOWN] 452 00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,658 He's already dead, Dale. 453 00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:21,563 And... I have an announcement to make! 454 00:17:22,187 --> 00:17:24,266 I'm leaving this godforsaken town! 455 00:17:24,792 --> 00:17:28,367 I'm gonna buy a Jet Ski and move up to Alaska, 456 00:17:28,392 --> 00:17:29,758 or something like there! 457 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,940 Maybe hitchhike to Burning Man! 458 00:17:32,215 --> 00:17:35,450 The point being, I'm outta here! 459 00:17:35,552 --> 00:17:38,323 And I'm never coming back! Ever! 460 00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:40,578 [BELL JINGLING] 461 00:17:40,925 --> 00:17:44,030 Oh, it's locked. Excuse me. 462 00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:45,895 [SKELETON SCREAMING] 463 00:17:46,718 --> 00:17:47,851 Dale. 464 00:17:47,953 --> 00:17:49,424 Hurry, lady. 465 00:17:49,425 --> 00:17:50,625 You're messing up my dismount. 466 00:17:50,693 --> 00:17:51,993 [BELL JINGLING] 467 00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:53,606 MRS. BASKETS: Oh, God. 468 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,799 I'm sorry. We're not normally like this. 469 00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:58,956 It's no problem. You have cute hair, by the way. 470 00:17:59,284 --> 00:18:02,385 Thank you. I needed that, kind of. 471 00:18:02,487 --> 00:18:03,874 Let me take you home, Christine. 472 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,359 No. Let me take you home, Ken. Let's go. 473 00:18:08,109 --> 00:18:10,147 - [SKELETON SCREAMING] - Oh, shut up. 474 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,523 KEN: Christine, I can't explain my actions. 475 00:18:22,849 --> 00:18:25,383 I just want to ask you for your forgiveness. 476 00:18:26,877 --> 00:18:29,273 Go home. We'll talk about it in a week. 477 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,656 KEN: But I'm afraid if I leave, it'll be all over. 478 00:18:33,269 --> 00:18:34,631 I don't want that. 479 00:18:35,317 --> 00:18:37,547 Well, I've got to figure out what I want. 480 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:42,482 Look, I know I made a huge mistake, 481 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,471 but please just know that 482 00:18:47,518 --> 00:18:49,397 I care for you very deeply. 483 00:18:50,274 --> 00:18:51,805 Just go home, Ken. 484 00:18:53,126 --> 00:18:54,264 Just go home. 485 00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:05,789 WOMAN [OVER P.A.]: The white zone is for immediate 486 00:19:05,891 --> 00:19:08,692 loading and unloading of passengers only. 487 00:19:17,403 --> 00:19:18,635 - Greg. - Yeah? 488 00:19:18,737 --> 00:19:22,200 Fire that camera up. I'm ready to shoot something. 489 00:19:22,778 --> 00:19:23,815 Okay. 490 00:19:25,378 --> 00:19:26,691 Let's do this. 491 00:19:28,332 --> 00:19:30,099 GREG: Okay. We're rolling. 492 00:19:30,616 --> 00:19:32,783 Hi, I'm Christine Baskets, 493 00:19:32,885 --> 00:19:36,446 CEO and president of the Baskets Family Rodeo. 494 00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:38,322 And we want to invite your family 495 00:19:38,347 --> 00:19:39,846 to come down and meet our family. 496 00:19:40,132 --> 00:19:41,925 WE HAVE A LOT OF FUN GOING ON: 497 00:19:42,027 --> 00:19:44,934 cows, cowboys, bucking broncos, 498 00:19:45,464 --> 00:19:47,111 and some clowns. 499 00:19:47,366 --> 00:19:50,400 You'll love it. It's the Baskets Family Rodeo. 500 00:19:50,908 --> 00:19:53,603 So, we'll have a rootin' tootin' good time, 501 00:19:53,706 --> 00:19:56,188 so I want you to row, row, 502 00:19:56,213 --> 00:19:58,612 row yourself down to our rodeo. 503 00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:04,645 That's it. 504 00:20:05,419 --> 00:20:08,018 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed .com 505 00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:12,618 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36195

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