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1
00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:07,897
- (Elevator dings)
- I'm up! I'm up! I'm up!
2
00:00:11,035 --> 00:00:12,936
Not funny, boys!
3
00:00:13,938 --> 00:00:15,939
It is from this side.
4
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:19,609
Think this is the first time I
woke up in an elevator landing?
5
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It's called the '90s!
6
00:00:22,546 --> 00:00:24,647
Mom, I'm sorry. It's been fun.
7
00:00:24,682 --> 00:00:26,549
- We've had some good times.
- Have we?
8
00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,320
Listen, Mrs. Wheeler,
you have got to move out.
9
00:00:30,354 --> 00:00:31,988
Go. You're finished.
10
00:00:32,022 --> 00:00:33,223
Finito ! Buh-bye.
11
00:00:34,191 --> 00:00:36,860
Trust me,
I would be out of here in two seconds
12
00:00:36,894 --> 00:00:38,762
if I could just get rid of my subletter.
13
00:00:38,796 --> 00:00:41,131
Wait, wait. Seriously? That's it?
14
00:00:41,165 --> 00:00:42,732
We'll get rid of 'em. We're experts.
15
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:44,834
Yeah. Please notice the couch
in front of the elevator.
16
00:00:46,637 --> 00:00:48,538
Great. Just grab my stuff.
17
00:00:48,572 --> 00:00:50,640
- Mm-hmm. Yes.
- Go to grandma. There you go.
18
00:00:50,674 --> 00:00:54,444
See how wonderful it is when we
just work together as a family?
19
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,614
(Lock clicks)
20
00:00:59,216 --> 00:01:01,184
And this is the part where I call the police
21
00:01:01,218 --> 00:01:03,419
and tell them I spotted two
kids trying to steal my couch.
22
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:06,322
- Yeah.
- (Theme music playing)
23
00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,392
It's amazing how the unexpected
24
00:01:09,426 --> 00:01:12,395
can take your life
and change direction
25
00:01:12,419 --> 00:01:15,977
- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -
26
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,402
Okay, so I have looked over this lease,
27
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,471
and I know exactly what we need to do.
28
00:01:22,506 --> 00:01:24,307
Find someone who can read a lease.
29
00:01:24,341 --> 00:01:27,277
(Scoffs) Well, don't look at me.
30
00:01:27,311 --> 00:01:29,245
That was the part of the real estate test
31
00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,513
where I just answered all "C's."
32
00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:33,550
- Hi.
- Hey, babe. Perfect timing.
33
00:01:33,584 --> 00:01:35,185
Can you look at this lease
34
00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:37,587
and find some sort of magic
legal words that can end it?
35
00:01:37,621 --> 00:01:40,490
First of all,
I am way too busy at work to get involved.
36
00:01:40,524 --> 00:01:42,292
And second, I hate to break it to you,
37
00:01:42,326 --> 00:01:44,460
but the law tends to favor
the person holding the lease.
38
00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:46,496
(Scoffs) God, you lawyers ruin everything
39
00:01:46,530 --> 00:01:48,631
with your rules, and your laws,
40
00:01:48,666 --> 00:01:50,600
and your penal codes.
41
00:01:51,635 --> 00:01:54,170
I just really wanted to say "penal codes."
42
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:57,574
Wait, what if the guy didn't have the lease?
43
00:01:57,608 --> 00:02:00,143
Like, what if someone loses it for him?
44
00:02:01,178 --> 00:02:02,445
So what you're saying is
45
00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:05,315
we should lure him out of my apartment
46
00:02:05,349 --> 00:02:07,317
and then steal his lease?
47
00:02:07,351 --> 00:02:08,551
Mom, that's...
48
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,354
Totally brilliant!
49
00:02:11,388 --> 00:02:12,555
Hey, that was my idea.
50
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:14,557
Tucker, we're all on the same team.
51
00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:18,161
Trying to move forward. My idea.
52
00:02:18,195 --> 00:02:21,164
Oh my God,
you're not gonna believe what happened.
53
00:02:21,198 --> 00:02:23,399
I just got offered a role
on general hospital.
54
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,335
- (Gasps)
- Oh my God, Danny! Really?
55
00:02:25,369 --> 00:02:29,138
- Yeah.
- That's amazing! G.H. Is my all-time favorite show.
56
00:02:29,173 --> 00:02:31,441
That's what real fans call it.
57
00:02:31,475 --> 00:02:34,444
Wow. Professional hockey player
58
00:02:34,478 --> 00:02:38,014
and now a famous actor. Oh.
59
00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:41,084
You're doing real good too, Benji.
60
00:02:42,786 --> 00:02:44,821
Well, apparently I'm perfect for the role.
61
00:02:44,855 --> 00:02:47,724
I play a professional hockey
player named Danny Wheeler.
62
00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:50,693
Wow. How many other guys did you beat out?
63
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,397
Hey,
do you think you could help me with my line?
64
00:02:54,431 --> 00:02:55,698
It's "Hi, I'm Danny Wheeler."
65
00:02:55,733 --> 00:02:57,533
Look, I already memorized it!
66
00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:59,269
I'm a natural!
67
00:02:59,303 --> 00:03:01,471
Maybe, but you know, just in case,
68
00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:03,373
I should probably still
go to the set with you...
69
00:03:03,407 --> 00:03:06,376
moral support, dialogue coaching,
70
00:03:06,410 --> 00:03:08,278
light entouraging.
71
00:03:08,312 --> 00:03:11,014
Thanks.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
72
00:03:11,048 --> 00:03:13,983
Oh, that's so sweet.
All right, I'd better get back to work.
73
00:03:14,018 --> 00:03:16,753
Wait, wait, wait. So this will be
74
00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:18,788
one of those priorities you
were just talking about?
75
00:03:18,822 --> 00:03:20,957
Oh, let's see. Fulfilling a lifelong fantasy
76
00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:22,892
of meeting the cast of my favorite show.
77
00:03:22,927 --> 00:03:25,628
Participating in a
borderline illegal eviction.
78
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,597
Oh yeah,
I think I got that in the right order.
79
00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:30,400
I was actually talking about the Ben,
your boyfriend,
80
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,235
versus Danny, your whatever.
81
00:03:32,269 --> 00:03:34,537
Oh. Well, if you don't want me to go,
just say so.
82
00:03:34,571 --> 00:03:37,307
- Really?
- No, because it's not 1950,
83
00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:39,275
and I'm not a housewife
who needs your permission.
84
00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:42,178
I'm going to port Charles
85
00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:49,185
And action, Kelly.
86
00:03:49,219 --> 00:03:51,654
Oh, Zane!
87
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,623
I am so sorry.
88
00:03:53,657 --> 00:03:56,426
I really thought I knew
how to pack a parachute.
89
00:03:56,460 --> 00:04:00,363
- (Sobbing)
- And cut. Perfect.
90
00:04:00,397 --> 00:04:02,198
You're a genius.
Okay, let's get ready to shoot this.
91
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,234
Hi. I'm Kelly.
92
00:04:05,269 --> 00:04:07,437
- You must be...
- I'm Riley. Riley Perrin.
93
00:04:07,471 --> 00:04:10,239
I... I can't believe I am meeting you.
You are just...
94
00:04:10,274 --> 00:04:12,108
Oh, you're so adorable.
95
00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:13,343
- (Both laugh)
- I know.
96
00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:16,879
Hi, I'm, uh...
97
00:04:16,914 --> 00:04:18,948
- I'm...
- Danny Wheeler.
98
00:04:18,983 --> 00:04:21,050
Danny Wheeler.
I'll do it better when I'm on camera.
99
00:04:21,085 --> 00:04:22,952
Mmm. Promise?
100
00:04:24,688 --> 00:04:26,956
(Angrily) Can we hire a
professional actor just once?
101
00:04:28,792 --> 00:04:32,428
Oh my God, soap opera digest was right.
102
00:04:32,463 --> 00:04:35,365
She is so much nicer in person.
103
00:04:37,368 --> 00:04:38,401
(Knocks on door)
104
00:04:38,435 --> 00:04:41,204
Okay, mom, I think your tenant is here.
105
00:04:43,273 --> 00:04:45,308
You're here! Joshua is here.
106
00:04:45,342 --> 00:04:47,043
I repeat, Josh is here!
107
00:04:48,145 --> 00:04:49,812
Yes, he is!
108
00:04:51,882 --> 00:04:53,716
He's in. I can't believe
109
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:54,984
it was so easy to get him into our place.
110
00:04:55,019 --> 00:04:56,953
Yeah, well,
it doesn't hurt that Joshua's gay
111
00:04:56,987 --> 00:04:59,889
- and Ben's a looker.
- You told him your son's gay?
112
00:04:59,923 --> 00:05:01,657
Of course not.
113
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,326
I heavily implied it.
114
00:05:04,528 --> 00:05:06,262
Ben: Hey, man,
just make yourself comfortable.
115
00:05:07,297 --> 00:05:08,498
Joshua and I are just having a beer,
116
00:05:08,532 --> 00:05:10,333
so it shouldn't take too long.
117
00:05:12,503 --> 00:05:16,105
I have a kid.
I read that it's important to talk to them...
118
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,206
it... her. I have a kid.
119
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:20,877
Really? How did that happen?
120
00:05:20,911 --> 00:05:23,713
Oh, you know, crazy party, too much liquor.
121
00:05:23,747 --> 00:05:25,014
Girl who wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
122
00:05:26,016 --> 00:05:28,718
I tried that once. Not really a fan.
123
00:05:30,554 --> 00:05:31,587
But I do love kids.
124
00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,389
Really?
'Cause most dudes don't wanna hang out
125
00:05:33,424 --> 00:05:34,357
with a guy who has a kid.
126
00:05:35,526 --> 00:05:37,260
I'm not most dudes.
127
00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:41,364
- Beer?
- My kind of guy!
128
00:05:45,335 --> 00:05:48,204
Okay, just remember: You got this. Why?
129
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:50,073
- Because I'm Danny Wheeler.
- Yeah, you are!
130
00:05:50,107 --> 00:05:51,941
- And what's your line?
- "I'm Danny Wheeler."
131
00:05:51,975 --> 00:05:53,042
Yeah, it is.
132
00:05:54,078 --> 00:05:55,812
Hey, we're thrilled to have you here, David.
133
00:05:55,846 --> 00:05:57,914
- It's Danny.
- Yeah, okay, whatever. Let's talk about the scene.
134
00:05:57,948 --> 00:06:00,450
So Samantha, played by Kelly,
135
00:06:00,484 --> 00:06:01,551
is dating Zane, who's in a coma.
136
00:06:01,585 --> 00:06:02,819
She thinks maybe there's
a way to get him out of it
137
00:06:02,853 --> 00:06:05,321
by introducing him to his
favorite hockey player.
138
00:06:05,355 --> 00:06:07,423
So you, the big guy,
you come in through this door,
139
00:06:07,458 --> 00:06:09,192
you say your line, you shake her hand,
140
00:06:09,226 --> 00:06:10,226
and you hold for camera.
141
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,328
Hold her hand or hold the camera?
142
00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:13,463
Really?
143
00:06:15,265 --> 00:06:17,266
If Wheeler doesn't get this in three takes,
144
00:06:17,301 --> 00:06:18,190
we're using my stand-in.
145
00:06:18,215 --> 00:06:20,303
All right, let's go. Let's
go from the top, please.
146
00:06:20,337 --> 00:06:22,105
All right. David, you go outside the door,
147
00:06:22,139 --> 00:06:24,040
- it's Danny.
- Nobody cares. Here we go.
148
00:06:27,111 --> 00:06:29,679
And... action.
149
00:06:29,713 --> 00:06:31,547
Oh, Zane.
150
00:06:32,549 --> 00:06:33,749
Please wake up.
151
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,718
I don't think I can live without you.
152
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,788
Please!
153
00:06:38,822 --> 00:06:40,490
(Door rattles)
154
00:06:47,164 --> 00:06:48,397
I'm sorry.
155
00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:50,900
I'm Samantha.
156
00:06:51,902 --> 00:06:54,036
Hi. I'm Danny Wheeler.
157
00:06:56,907 --> 00:06:59,075
Director: And cut! Genius!
Let's move on, gang!
158
00:06:59,109 --> 00:07:01,744
Oh, Danny Wheeler. You surprised me.
159
00:07:01,778 --> 00:07:03,546
(Giggles) Oh, thank you.
160
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,816
We... we worked on it a bunch.
161
00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:09,519
I'm kind of his coach.
162
00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:11,621
I'm kind of not sure why
you're talking to me.
163
00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:15,591
You know, I could use a new love interest.
164
00:07:15,626 --> 00:07:18,194
- Well, what about Zane?
- You mean Pete?
165
00:07:18,228 --> 00:07:19,395
I'll just have the writers kill him off.
166
00:07:21,031 --> 00:07:22,365
If this works out, you can dump your coach
167
00:07:22,399 --> 00:07:23,933
and we can rehearse at my place.
168
00:07:24,935 --> 00:07:27,770
Pete,
you need to get your things out of my place.
169
00:07:29,206 --> 00:07:30,873
Tucker: I can't find the lease anywhere.
170
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:33,709
- Ben: Hello?
- Ben, it's me,
171
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,711
but call me Vivian and ask me what I want.
172
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,548
Hello, Vivian. What do you want?
173
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:40,550
(Whispers) It's Vivian.
174
00:07:41,552 --> 00:07:43,386
I need you to find out
where he keeps his lease.
175
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:44,620
We've searched everywhere.
176
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:48,157
Oh, also, ask him what those
pills in the blue bottle were.
177
00:07:48,192 --> 00:07:49,325
I feel a little weird.
178
00:07:50,327 --> 00:07:51,961
God, I hate Vivian!
179
00:07:51,995 --> 00:07:54,163
She's... my cleaning lady.
180
00:07:54,198 --> 00:07:55,998
Yeah, she likes to go through everything,
181
00:07:56,033 --> 00:07:58,000
I gotta start hiding my important documents.
182
00:07:59,169 --> 00:08:00,970
Hey, where do you hide yours?
183
00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:03,873
I'm so bad about that.
184
00:08:03,907 --> 00:08:06,909
They're all just shoved
in a drawer somewhere.
185
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,678
Really? A drawer?
186
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,547
Did you hear that? A drawer.
187
00:08:13,684 --> 00:08:15,618
"Drawer" is Emma's word of the day.
188
00:08:18,121 --> 00:08:19,255
You seem kind of preoccupied.
189
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:23,259
- Maybe I should head home.
- Home? Now? No, no, aren't you comfortable here?
190
00:08:24,394 --> 00:08:26,028
Well, I could get more comfortable.
191
00:08:27,197 --> 00:08:29,765
Yes, yes, please,
get as comfortable as you like.
192
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,000
Mi casa es su cas...
193
00:08:33,770 --> 00:08:35,905
Riley! What's up?
194
00:08:38,609 --> 00:08:39,809
This is our new neighbor, Joshua.
195
00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,545
Uh, he didn't know any guys in the city.
196
00:08:44,581 --> 00:08:46,282
Well, he certainly does now.
197
00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:51,900
That was close.
198
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,901
We got so caught up in your love story,
199
00:08:53,935 --> 00:08:55,869
we almost ran right into your boyfriend.
200
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:58,138
It's bad enough I'm stuck living here,
201
00:08:58,173 --> 00:09:01,075
but now I have to compete
with my own son for men.
202
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:05,712
Look!
I've got tomorrow's script and schedule,
203
00:09:05,747 --> 00:09:07,681
and I've got real lines!
204
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:08,715
Oh.
205
00:09:08,783 --> 00:09:10,851
It's a funeral scene for
Samantha's boyfriend.
206
00:09:10,885 --> 00:09:12,686
Oh, that's sad.
207
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,555
Then we start making out over the casket.
208
00:09:14,589 --> 00:09:15,689
Oh, that's hot.
209
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,591
You guys are gonna come, right?
210
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,360
- Riley, will you help me rehearse again?
- Oh yeah, sure.
211
00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:23,330
Wait, hold on. The kiss?
You're gonna rehearse the kiss?
212
00:09:23,364 --> 00:09:25,399
Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.
213
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:27,968
Kissing guys is kinda your department.
You should do it.
214
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,104
- (Laughter)
- That's hilarious.
215
00:09:30,138 --> 00:09:31,939
Oh man, that's so funny.
216
00:09:31,973 --> 00:09:33,173
Now if you'll excuse me,
217
00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:34,808
I'm gonna go put my child to bed.
218
00:09:34,843 --> 00:09:36,877
You know, the one I made with a woman.
219
00:09:36,911 --> 00:09:38,745
Both: Oh.
220
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,515
Okay, you ready?
221
00:09:41,549 --> 00:09:43,517
(Clears throat, sighs)
222
00:09:43,551 --> 00:09:45,853
"I thought my heart would be broken forever,
223
00:09:45,887 --> 00:09:48,655
"but now that you're here, I'm healed.
224
00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:51,258
"You're a heart healer, Danny Wheeler."
225
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:53,460
"It's because I...
226
00:09:53,495 --> 00:09:55,162
"I love you, Samantha."
227
00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:57,464
"I love you too, Danny."
228
00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:03,036
And we'll just skip the passionate kiss.
229
00:10:03,071 --> 00:10:05,005
Yeah, totally... totally... totally skipping.
230
00:10:06,074 --> 00:10:07,841
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
231
00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:09,710
What if we put him in a drug-induced coma
232
00:10:09,744 --> 00:10:11,645
and when he wakes up,
we'll tell him it's 10 years later
233
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,980
- and that he lost his apartment?
- (Bonnie scoffs)
234
00:10:14,816 --> 00:10:15,916
I already did that once. (Clears throat)
235
00:10:17,552 --> 00:10:18,752
Okay, I know. We can get him drunk
236
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,687
and then switch the numbers
on the apartment door.
237
00:10:20,722 --> 00:10:22,456
He'll wander around for hours.
238
00:10:23,725 --> 00:10:25,526
Wait, that was you, wasn't it?
239
00:10:26,594 --> 00:10:28,562
Ben, I told you that was your mom!
240
00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:30,430
Mmm! Mmm!
241
00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:33,233
- Ben!
- What?
242
00:10:33,268 --> 00:10:35,269
Sorry,
I was just busy watching my girlfriend
243
00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:37,804
spend quality time with
my brother once again.
244
00:10:37,839 --> 00:10:39,239
Ben, Riley loves you!
245
00:10:39,274 --> 00:10:41,008
You can't freak out every time
246
00:10:41,042 --> 00:10:43,610
she almost kisses him.
247
00:10:43,645 --> 00:10:45,012
Okay, that was a bad example.
248
00:10:46,514 --> 00:10:47,881
She said she didn't have
any time to help me,
249
00:10:47,916 --> 00:10:50,450
but the second Danny needed something,
she's all ears.
250
00:10:50,485 --> 00:10:53,320
I'm going to say something.
Should I say something? I'll say something.
251
00:10:54,622 --> 00:10:56,256
- (Mockingly) Can I say something?
- No.
252
00:10:57,458 --> 00:10:59,293
Hey, Riley? I need to say something.
253
00:10:59,327 --> 00:11:01,195
Oh! Is it about the lease?
254
00:11:01,229 --> 00:11:02,629
I meant to tell you. I looked it over
255
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:06,166
and the only cause for termination
is if the original tenant dies.
256
00:11:06,201 --> 00:11:09,269
So, just to be clear,
we get to kill Mrs. Wheeler?
257
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,675
Oh my God, the power of prayer really works.
258
00:11:17,011 --> 00:11:17,911
(Knocking on door)
259
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,748
- Hello?
- Hi.
260
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,419
I'm the landlord here,
so if I look familiar to you,
261
00:11:25,453 --> 00:11:28,255
that's why. No other reason.
Stop thinking about it.
262
00:11:28,289 --> 00:11:30,357
(Chuckles) Are you Bonnie
Wheeler's subletter?
263
00:11:30,391 --> 00:11:32,359
Yeah. What's this about?
264
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:34,194
Oh. Bonnie's dead.
265
00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:36,230
Oh my God.
266
00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:39,099
That's terrible.
267
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:42,002
Oh no, poor Ben! He must be a wreck.
268
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,136
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's heartbroken.
269
00:11:43,171 --> 00:11:45,639
Anyway, your lease is null and void,
270
00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:48,909
- so you have to move out.
- Well, I'm not quite sure it works like that.
271
00:11:48,943 --> 00:11:51,578
- When's the funeral?
- I don't know. Tomorrow?
272
00:11:51,613 --> 00:11:53,714
And yeah, yeah, it does work like that.
273
00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:55,515
I'm the landlord. I should know.
274
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:56,683
I... I mean I do know.
275
00:11:58,286 --> 00:11:59,453
All right. I get it.
276
00:11:59,487 --> 00:12:01,488
If there's nothing I can do,
I guess I'll pack up
277
00:12:01,522 --> 00:12:04,157
- after I get back from the funeral.
- Okay, cool.
278
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:07,227
Wait, wait, hold up!
279
00:12:08,329 --> 00:12:10,097
Guess we are gonna have to kill her.
280
00:12:11,866 --> 00:12:13,267
Thanks, big guy.
281
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:19,640
Hey! There's my little TV star.
282
00:12:19,674 --> 00:12:21,642
And you, would you like to be in this scene?
283
00:12:21,676 --> 00:12:23,944
Oh my God! Are you sure?
284
00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:25,846
I mean, I'm not really an actress.
285
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,581
Then get the hell off my set.
286
00:12:30,518 --> 00:12:33,754
Hello, tall, dark, and dimply!
287
00:12:33,788 --> 00:12:36,390
All right, let's go, guys.
Let's go from the top of the scene.
288
00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:38,492
- You two ready?
- I have never been so ready.
289
00:12:38,526 --> 00:12:39,459
Director: Good. All right.
290
00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:42,029
Action!
291
00:12:42,063 --> 00:12:43,330
What are you doing here, Danny?
292
00:12:43,364 --> 00:12:45,999
Oh, just getting ready for my scene.
293
00:12:47,135 --> 00:12:49,169
Director: Okay, cut, please.
294
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,038
Umm, Danny, this is the scene.
295
00:12:51,072 --> 00:12:53,040
Right, sorry. I just get confused,
296
00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:55,642
'cause my character's Danny, I'm Danny.
297
00:12:55,677 --> 00:12:57,778
It's okay, you're doing great.
It happens all the time.
298
00:12:57,812 --> 00:12:58,979
Yeah, okay. This never happens.
299
00:13:01,749 --> 00:13:03,617
All right, from the top, you two!
300
00:13:03,651 --> 00:13:04,651
Action.
301
00:13:04,686 --> 00:13:06,520
What are you doing here, Danny?
302
00:13:06,554 --> 00:13:08,722
I heard Zane died...
303
00:13:09,724 --> 00:13:11,358
In your arms.
304
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,328
(Mockingly) Are you okay?
305
00:13:14,362 --> 00:13:17,364
- What's with the hands?
- Oh, it's called "acting."
306
00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:22,035
You're doing a really great job.
307
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:23,837
See, now that's called "acting."
308
00:13:25,106 --> 00:13:28,141
Pete.
You can move your things back into my place.
309
00:13:29,811 --> 00:13:31,712
Oh God. All right.
310
00:13:31,746 --> 00:13:32,746
Let's take lunch, everybody.
311
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:34,781
And you, take whatever you took yesterday
312
00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:36,483
that made you not so terrible, okay?
313
00:13:39,654 --> 00:13:41,555
Okay, it looks like they're on a break.
314
00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:43,690
Which means look alive, it's time to die.
315
00:13:43,725 --> 00:13:45,425
- Get in the box, mom.
- Yeah.
316
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:49,363
Ooh, honey, remind me to get a
picture of this for your father.
317
00:13:49,397 --> 00:13:51,298
Christmas is coming up. He'll love it.
318
00:13:54,088 --> 00:13:57,377
Okay, okay, 20 bucks for each of you
when this is done,
319
00:13:57,477 --> 00:13:59,445
but I'm gonna need to see some real tears.
320
00:14:00,814 --> 00:14:03,082
Wait. Now is this a good time to
mention that I'm claustrophobic?
321
00:14:03,116 --> 00:14:06,251
(Sneezes) And allergic to chrysanthemums?
322
00:14:06,286 --> 00:14:09,054
Oh, and I really should've gone
to the bathroom. Oh God, oh God.
323
00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:11,090
- No, it is not a good time.
- Oh! Here he comes.
324
00:14:11,124 --> 00:14:13,993
Oh! Okay, and we're paying our respects,
and we're sad.
325
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,195
- We're sad.
- Hey, Joshua. How's it going?
326
00:14:16,229 --> 00:14:18,764
Personally, I'm devastated.
327
00:14:18,798 --> 00:14:21,033
Ben, I'm so sorry. I...
328
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,035
This is a strange place for a funeral.
329
00:14:23,069 --> 00:14:25,604
Yeah, well, my mom was a makeup artist here,
330
00:14:25,639 --> 00:14:27,740
and she just wanted to be with
the people she loved the most.
331
00:14:27,774 --> 00:14:29,708
Where's the cast?
332
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:32,411
Mrs. Wheeler only did the extras' makeup,
333
00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:35,180
which is why none of these
people are very attractive.
334
00:14:36,549 --> 00:14:38,350
Well, we should probably get started.
Come on, take your seat.
335
00:14:38,385 --> 00:14:40,119
- Sure.
- Yes, thank you.
336
00:14:40,153 --> 00:14:41,353
Hey, let me get your eye drops.
337
00:14:41,388 --> 00:14:44,023
- I might need some tears to help sell this.
- All right.
338
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,958
Thanks, man. (Exhales sharply)
339
00:14:48,094 --> 00:14:51,030
- Okay. Welcome.
- (Sneezes)
340
00:14:51,064 --> 00:14:53,932
(Mimics sneeze) Excuse me.
341
00:14:55,702 --> 00:14:57,503
We are gathered here today
342
00:14:57,537 --> 00:14:58,671
to remember a life...
343
00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:01,473
A woman who loved...
344
00:15:02,609 --> 00:15:04,710
Well... herself, for one thing.
345
00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:07,646
So in conclusion...
346
00:15:09,215 --> 00:15:10,349
(Crying) I just wanna say...
347
00:15:11,351 --> 00:15:14,153
I'm sorry, guys, it's just...
348
00:15:14,187 --> 00:15:16,922
There's just so many emotions, man.
349
00:15:17,957 --> 00:15:19,291
Ow! My eye!
350
00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:21,060
These are breath drops!
351
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:24,063
- (Sneezing)
- (Mimicking sneezing)
352
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,131
So rest in peace...
353
00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:28,100
Oh! Oh!
354
00:15:28,134 --> 00:15:30,669
- Oh my God.
- Oh my God, is he okay?
355
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:32,004
- Hold me.
- Tucker: I'm bleeding.
356
00:15:32,038 --> 00:15:34,773
I can't see. Okay, as we say goodbye
357
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:36,775
- to Mrs. Wheeler...
- (Sneezes)
358
00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:38,677
- (Sneezing)
- (Mimicking sneezing)
359
00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:42,281
Goodbye. We are almost to the end.
360
00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:45,350
(Chuckles) And that's it! We made it!
361
00:15:45,385 --> 00:15:46,685
Thank you all for coming out!
362
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,221
Hey, hey, didn't anybody get the rewrite?
363
00:15:49,255 --> 00:15:50,355
We're 86-ing the coffin.
364
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:51,523
Come on, guys,
we're shooting in five minutes.
365
00:15:51,558 --> 00:15:53,092
Let's go, let's go. Lose that.
366
00:15:55,328 --> 00:15:57,262
(People gasping)
367
00:15:57,297 --> 00:16:00,265
- Oh my God!
- Praise mercy!
368
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,234
She's alive, y'all!
369
00:16:02,268 --> 00:16:04,236
Whoo! Oh.
370
00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:06,772
Man, that is definitely the last time
371
00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:08,807
I agree to test sleeping pills.
372
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:13,579
- Ben: Hello, mom.
- What the hell is going on?
373
00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:15,414
Why did you do all this?
374
00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:17,516
Okay, here's the truth:
375
00:16:17,550 --> 00:16:20,385
My mom has been living with us because
she sublet her apartment to you.
376
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:22,454
It's been a little difficult,
because she's kind of a nightmare.
377
00:16:23,623 --> 00:16:25,491
You did all this to get me to move out?
378
00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:27,259
Why didn't you just ask me?
379
00:16:28,328 --> 00:16:29,428
Oh yeah.
380
00:16:31,064 --> 00:16:32,331
Guess I kinda skipped that step.
381
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,167
Hey, could I get my apartment back?
382
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,704
Honestly, I really wanna say no,
383
00:16:38,738 --> 00:16:41,640
but I would really like
to keep dating your son
384
00:16:41,674 --> 00:16:44,009
so... I guess... sure.
385
00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:46,779
Yeah, about that.
386
00:16:46,813 --> 00:16:48,514
I'm gay like she's dead.
387
00:16:50,583 --> 00:16:53,285
Well, I'm gone like your apartment is.
388
00:16:53,319 --> 00:16:54,653
Good luck finding a place to live.
389
00:16:54,687 --> 00:16:57,422
- (Bonnie scoffs)
- Tucker: What?
390
00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:00,292
Seriously?
391
00:17:00,326 --> 00:17:02,494
You couldn't pretend to
be gay for 20 minutes?
392
00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:05,264
Your father pretended to
be straight for 20 years!
393
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:11,236
Okay, Danny,
just try to forget how badly you screwed up
394
00:17:11,271 --> 00:17:12,871
and that everybody's upset with you.
395
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,007
Just... just do it exactly like
396
00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:16,975
we did on the fire escape, okay?
397
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:18,877
You got this. Good luck.
398
00:17:20,113 --> 00:17:21,980
- Hi.
- Hi. Oh!
399
00:17:22,015 --> 00:17:23,949
I was afraid you were gonna miss his scene.
Where have you been?
400
00:17:23,983 --> 00:17:26,885
Oh, I was just playing hide-and-seek
with one of the security guards.
401
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,787
Hey, let me know if you see him,
'cause I'm it.
402
00:17:30,456 --> 00:17:32,424
Look,
I'm so sorry I got so bent out of shape
403
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:34,293
about you spending so much time with Danny.
404
00:17:34,327 --> 00:17:36,428
It's okay. Just... (Inhales sharply)
405
00:17:36,462 --> 00:17:38,197
I hope all my coaching helped.
406
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,365
Good,
so let's go from the top of the second scene.
407
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,035
Okay? Here we go, you two.
408
00:17:43,069 --> 00:17:44,203
And action!
409
00:17:45,905 --> 00:17:48,073
I thought my heart would be broken forever.
410
00:17:49,075 --> 00:17:51,043
But now that you're here, I'm healed.
411
00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:55,614
You are a heart healer, Danny Wheeler.
412
00:17:55,648 --> 00:17:57,916
I never thought that a guy like me
413
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,751
would meet a girl like you,
414
00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:01,420
much less fall in love...
415
00:18:01,454 --> 00:18:02,788
- (Mouths)
- ...So fast,
416
00:18:02,822 --> 00:18:04,556
so hard, so fully.
417
00:18:05,592 --> 00:18:07,392
I hope it's not too soon to say this, but...
418
00:18:08,394 --> 00:18:09,561
I love you, Riley.
419
00:18:09,596 --> 00:18:11,530
Oh, I... really...
420
00:18:11,564 --> 00:18:14,066
I love you really, Riley.
421
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,467
No, I love you really, Kelly...
422
00:18:15,501 --> 00:18:18,103
- no, Samantha! Cut!
- (Shrieks)
423
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,940
Nice coaching.
424
00:18:32,752 --> 00:18:33,719
Hey.
425
00:18:33,753 --> 00:18:35,587
Can I buy you a beer?
426
00:18:37,523 --> 00:18:38,790
You wanna talk about what just happened?
427
00:18:40,526 --> 00:18:43,295
You mean how the director
had a nervous breakdown?
428
00:18:43,329 --> 00:18:44,696
I'm talking about you and Danny.
429
00:18:44,731 --> 00:18:47,666
- (Clears throat)
- Something I seem to do a lot of lately.
430
00:18:49,202 --> 00:18:52,204
We rehearsed that scene a million times.
431
00:18:52,238 --> 00:18:54,473
He got confused. It could happen to anybody.
432
00:18:54,507 --> 00:18:56,008
Could it?
433
00:18:57,243 --> 00:19:00,145
I just can't help feeling that
you two have something more,
434
00:19:00,179 --> 00:19:01,980
and I don't even think that you realize it.
435
00:19:02,982 --> 00:19:05,217
- Ben, he's my...
- Your best friend. Yeah, I know.
436
00:19:05,251 --> 00:19:07,753
You say that more often than you say
"boyfriend."
437
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:10,122
- Well, it's true, he is!
- Oh, come on, Riley!
438
00:19:10,156 --> 00:19:12,090
You have to see it!
439
00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:14,927
That moment on the roof?
440
00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:17,629
The love note?
You hiding him and lying to me?
441
00:19:18,831 --> 00:19:20,666
I can't do this.
442
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,602
I can't be in a relationship where
I'm constantly questioning everything.
443
00:19:24,637 --> 00:19:26,471
I always feel like I'm in second place.
444
00:19:28,441 --> 00:19:29,408
Wait.
445
00:19:30,476 --> 00:19:31,677
Are you breaking up with me?
446
00:19:32,745 --> 00:19:35,547
Because that's not fair.
I didn't do anything wrong.
447
00:19:35,581 --> 00:19:37,316
Can you look me in the eyes right now
448
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,251
and tell me that you don't
have feelings for Danny?
449
00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:42,454
But I spent my whole life
being in love with you.
450
00:19:42,488 --> 00:19:46,358
I never even had a minute to think
about how I feel about Danny.
451
00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:47,526
(Voice breaking) Well,
maybe it's time you did.
452
00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:52,431
And maybe we take a time out while you do.
453
00:19:53,499 --> 00:19:55,367
- Ben.
- I'm sorry, Riley.
454
00:19:58,338 --> 00:19:59,338
I just...
455
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:01,473
I don't know what else to do.
456
00:20:02,575 --> 00:20:03,675
I love you, but...
457
00:20:04,711 --> 00:20:06,411
Something just doesn't feel right.
458
00:20:15,488 --> 00:20:17,356
(Crying)
459
00:20:23,292 --> 00:20:26,094
- What do you want?
- Hello, roomie.
460
00:20:26,128 --> 00:20:27,762
You're not coming in here.
461
00:20:27,797 --> 00:20:29,097
Absolutely nothing in that lease
462
00:20:29,131 --> 00:20:31,066
says that I won't be living here with you.
463
00:20:32,134 --> 00:20:33,902
Joshua: This isn't gonna get rid of me.
464
00:20:33,936 --> 00:20:36,204
Bonnie: Well, take a look at these.
465
00:20:36,238 --> 00:20:38,039
Joshua: I've seen those.
466
00:20:38,074 --> 00:20:39,808
Bonnie: How about one of these?
467
00:20:39,842 --> 00:20:40,976
Joshua: Oh my God.
468
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,244
- I'm out of here.
- Same way I got rid
469
00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:46,014
of my ex-husband! Buh-bye!
470
00:20:46,064 --> 00:20:50,614
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