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1
00:00:00,554 --> 00:00:02,031
(Snoozing)
2
00:00:03,633 --> 00:00:05,177
- And we're back!
- Oh my God.
3
00:00:05,738 --> 00:00:06,956
(Door closes)
4
00:00:08,265 --> 00:00:10,097
I know teething is tough on Emma's gums,
5
00:00:10,098 --> 00:00:11,148
but it's worse on my feet.
6
00:00:11,149 --> 00:00:13,378
I've been walking around the
block since 5 am to calm her down.
7
00:00:13,379 --> 00:00:15,900
If she's not moving,
she's not not screaming.
8
00:00:15,901 --> 00:00:18,783
Dude, bro, trust me, you
do not have to tell the guy
9
00:00:18,784 --> 00:00:21,126
who is using the muffin as his pillow.
10
00:00:21,953 --> 00:00:24,047
It's like living with a velociraptor.
11
00:00:24,048 --> 00:00:25,475
Just... (Screeching)
12
00:00:28,006 --> 00:00:29,295
But all is forgiven.
13
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,838
She found me the one... my perfect girl.
14
00:00:31,839 --> 00:00:33,371
She snagged some girl's
phone off the counter
15
00:00:33,372 --> 00:00:34,610
when we stopped for coffee.
16
00:00:34,611 --> 00:00:37,892
It amazes me what she
shoves into that stroller.
17
00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:40,983
I once found half a
sandwich and a bus pass.
18
00:00:41,754 --> 00:00:44,204
Look, her name's Sydney, and
we were made for each other.
19
00:00:44,205 --> 00:00:45,876
She takes tons of awesome selfies.
20
00:00:45,877 --> 00:00:47,572
I take tons of awesome selfies.
21
00:00:48,287 --> 00:00:49,749
She went to Australia on vacation.
22
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,100
I... generally know where Australia is.
23
00:00:52,841 --> 00:00:53,951
- (Mutters)
- (Exhales)
24
00:00:53,952 --> 00:00:55,385
I'm telling you, man.
She could quite possibly
25
00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:57,837
be my first soul mate.
26
00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:01,293
Ben, that is an invasion of privacy.
27
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,679
Plus, she's got a boatload of hot friends.
28
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:05,330
- Give me that.
- It's... it's...
29
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:06,085
give me... yeah. My turn.
30
00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:10,451
- (Cellphone rings)
- Oh oh! Maybe that's her.
31
00:01:10,452 --> 00:01:11,893
- Here here.
- All right, come here.
32
00:01:11,894 --> 00:01:12,850
There we go.
33
00:01:14,111 --> 00:01:16,143
Hello. Hot girl named Sydney's phone.
34
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,916
Yes yes! I did find it.
35
00:01:19,261 --> 00:01:21,269
No no, I didn't look through it.
36
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:23,922
Although, you do have a dental
appointment today at two.
37
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:26,895
(Chuckles) I wouldn't go
ahead and say "lifesaver."
38
00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:29,262
Just your everyday, average, single hero.
39
00:01:30,483 --> 00:01:31,882
Did I say single?
40
00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:35,053
(Babbles)
41
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,401
Yeah yeah, hey.
42
00:01:36,402 --> 00:01:38,546
I get half a sandwich and a bus pass?
43
00:01:38,547 --> 00:01:39,782
He gets a girl?
44
00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:41,756
You owe me, baby. I will bite...
45
00:01:43,994 --> 00:01:45,391
- (screams playfully)
- (Gobbling sounds)
46
00:01:45,956 --> 00:01:47,141
(Theme music playing)
47
00:01:47,142 --> 00:01:49,637
* It's amazing how the unexpected *
48
00:01:49,638 --> 00:01:52,512
* can take your life
and change direction. *
49
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:56,548
Synced and corrected by Nantinha
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
50
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,054
Okay, so, what do you think?
51
00:01:59,055 --> 00:02:00,518
I have to look perfect.
52
00:02:00,519 --> 00:02:01,834
You look great.
53
00:02:01,835 --> 00:02:03,129
But why do you even care?
I thought you were just
54
00:02:03,130 --> 00:02:04,752
meeting some old friend from summer camp.
55
00:02:04,753 --> 00:02:06,617
No, Danny, not just any friend.
56
00:02:06,618 --> 00:02:08,593
I mean, Heather was my best friend.
57
00:02:08,594 --> 00:02:10,583
Heather? You hated her.
58
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,342
She ruined every one of your summers
59
00:02:13,343 --> 00:02:14,666
from eight to 18,
60
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:15,900
and then you ruined every one of mine
61
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:17,485
calling home to complain about her.
62
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,847
All right, yes, we may
have had our differences.
63
00:02:20,848 --> 00:02:22,992
And yes, she may have
beaten me at field hockey
64
00:02:22,993 --> 00:02:25,591
and archery and every other
thing that I ever entered.
65
00:02:25,592 --> 00:02:27,671
And yes, she may have
stolen my boyfriend Jacob,
66
00:02:27,672 --> 00:02:29,150
even though she could
have had any other guy
67
00:02:29,151 --> 00:02:31,046
in the entire camp, you
know, because she's Heather
68
00:02:31,047 --> 00:02:32,495
and she's perfect.
69
00:02:33,496 --> 00:02:34,828
And you know what? Rumor had it,
70
00:02:34,829 --> 00:02:36,265
she'd let you touch 'em.
71
00:02:37,254 --> 00:02:38,858
Under the bra.
72
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:41,934
Why didn't I go to camp?
73
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,635
My point is, I'm a lawyer now...
74
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:52,019
Living on my own in the most
Cosmopolitan city in the world,
75
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,626
so in the game of life I have won!
76
00:02:55,955 --> 00:02:57,716
And it'll be really nice to see her.
77
00:02:59,167 --> 00:03:00,486
Whoo! Yeah!
78
00:03:02,244 --> 00:03:05,814
I just had one of the most amazing
conversations of my entire life.
79
00:03:05,815 --> 00:03:07,164
Which is kinda sad,
80
00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:09,082
because you were just
alone in there with Emma.
81
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:10,330
(Laughs) No.
82
00:03:10,331 --> 00:03:12,278
Sydney... I found her phone.
83
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,100
And when we finally
meet face-to-face,
84
00:03:14,101 --> 00:03:16,082
hopefully we'll wind up face on face,
85
00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:17,375
if you know what I mean.
86
00:03:17,996 --> 00:03:19,578
Yeah, we always know.
87
00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:20,646
(Door opens)
88
00:03:20,647 --> 00:03:22,866
It's official! I'm a bench.
89
00:03:24,554 --> 00:03:26,135
Well, I wouldn't go that far,
90
00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:27,551
but you are kinda moody.
91
00:03:29,463 --> 00:03:31,375
I said bench!
92
00:03:31,922 --> 00:03:33,051
(Door closes)
93
00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:34,903
No.
94
00:03:35,218 --> 00:03:37,052
My first realtor ad
95
00:03:37,053 --> 00:03:40,392
soon to be on bus benches across the city.
96
00:03:40,393 --> 00:03:41,839
Well, one bench.
97
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:44,256
You have no idea how much it costs
98
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,961
to have people sit on your face.
99
00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:51,989
All right, and ladies and gentlemen...
100
00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:56,749
This is the new look on
Manhattan real estate!
101
00:03:57,345 --> 00:03:59,481
- Wow, you look so good!
- Oh, my God, is that you...
102
00:03:59,482 --> 00:04:01,467
- Wow, my God, best photo ever!
- ... Or a supermodel?
103
00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:04,278
What happened?!
104
00:04:04,279 --> 00:04:06,238
Oh, that photographer was an idiot!
105
00:04:06,239 --> 00:04:09,218
I told that stupid moron
he better not screw it up.
106
00:04:10,535 --> 00:04:12,357
And I think we know what happened.
107
00:04:13,265 --> 00:04:15,587
You guys, I look like grandma!
108
00:04:17,521 --> 00:04:19,054
(Screaming)
109
00:04:19,807 --> 00:04:21,277
(Both giggling)
110
00:04:21,278 --> 00:04:23,275
Oh, my gosh, Heather,
it is so good to see you.
111
00:04:23,276 --> 00:04:24,747
You look amazing.
112
00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:26,269
And you haven't changed at all.
113
00:04:27,608 --> 00:04:29,188
Well, I lost 90 pounds,
114
00:04:29,189 --> 00:04:31,352
two feet of hair and a speech impediment.
115
00:04:32,579 --> 00:04:33,666
Well...
116
00:04:33,667 --> 00:04:35,331
You look exactly the same to me.
117
00:04:35,668 --> 00:04:37,871
So how have you been? Tell me everything!
118
00:04:37,872 --> 00:04:40,665
Uh, well, I'm a lawyer now,
119
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:43,749
so I've been pretty busy enforcing the law.
120
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,142
That is so crazy.
121
00:04:45,143 --> 00:04:46,514
So am I!
122
00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:49,421
Actually, I just made partner.
123
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,078
Youngest in the firm.
124
00:04:51,079 --> 00:04:52,784
That's why they moved me out here.
125
00:04:52,785 --> 00:04:54,498
- (Both chuckle)
- Partner?
126
00:04:54,499 --> 00:04:56,230
- Really?
- Yeah.
127
00:04:56,231 --> 00:04:58,579
God. Well, who wants to
talk about work, right?
128
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,775
Um, so, I heard through the grapevine
129
00:05:00,776 --> 00:05:02,591
that you're living with your parents again.
130
00:05:02,592 --> 00:05:03,695
(Exhales) Bummer.
131
00:05:04,067 --> 00:05:05,438
I live alone.
132
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,644
You're so lucky.
133
00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:10,876
It's gonna take like two months to
renovate the new condo I just bought.
134
00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:13,824
You bought?
135
00:05:13,825 --> 00:05:15,597
Can you... just...
can you excuse me for a second?
136
00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:16,744
I'm gonna use the ladies' room.
137
00:05:18,468 --> 00:05:19,640
Take your time.
138
00:05:20,049 --> 00:05:21,475
I'm sure you wanna fix your hair.
139
00:05:29,948 --> 00:05:32,263
Danny, get down here right now.
140
00:05:32,264 --> 00:05:34,101
I'm losing the game of life!
141
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:37,714
No, I'm not calling you about a board game.
142
00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,400
Bonnie: Okay, Tucker,
I need an expert opinion.
143
00:05:42,401 --> 00:05:45,787
Which picture should I use for my new ad?
144
00:05:45,788 --> 00:05:48,896
Oh, Mrs. Wheeler, you have
come to the right place.
145
00:05:48,897 --> 00:05:50,478
I work in TV,
146
00:05:50,479 --> 00:05:53,320
and shining up crap is
what I do for a living.
147
00:05:55,662 --> 00:05:57,655
What you need is a slogan.
148
00:05:57,656 --> 00:05:59,628
Something that will grab people's attention
149
00:05:59,629 --> 00:06:02,423
and make them say, "I must
have this Bonnie Wheeler woman".
150
00:06:02,424 --> 00:06:04,702
oh, yeah yeah. How about this?
151
00:06:04,703 --> 00:06:05,572
- Um...
- Okay.
152
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:06,949
"If I can't find you a pad,
153
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,377
oops, my bad."
154
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,111
(Mouthing)
155
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:13,967
Ohh, thank God you're here.
156
00:06:13,968 --> 00:06:15,964
I'm over an hour late
to meet my dream girl.
157
00:06:15,965 --> 00:06:18,142
Here. Emma finally just stopped crying.
158
00:06:18,143 --> 00:06:19,622
This teething thing bites.
159
00:06:20,408 --> 00:06:22,345
That's why God invented rum.
160
00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:24,852
Mom, they don't give
liquor to babies anymore.
161
00:06:24,853 --> 00:06:26,464
I wasn't talking about the baby.
162
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,352
(Cellphone rings)
163
00:06:29,353 --> 00:06:30,637
(Gasps) Oh, my God, it's her again.
164
00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:32,826
Hey, Sydney.
165
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:34,331
No no, I'll be there in 20 minutes.
166
00:06:34,332 --> 00:06:36,439
- (Sydney shouting)
- You don't mean that.
167
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,376
Or that.
168
00:06:38,377 --> 00:06:39,756
Oh, come on. That was just mean.
169
00:06:40,173 --> 00:06:41,122
(Cellphone beeps)
170
00:06:41,123 --> 00:06:42,139
Now what am I gonna do?
171
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,019
She hates me, and she
hasn't even met me yet.
172
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:47,024
Ben, I heard her screaming
from all the way over here.
173
00:06:47,025 --> 00:06:49,783
Look, if I were you, I would
go find some other Ben Wheeler
174
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,518
to go give her back her phone.
175
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,952
Oh, my God. That's such a good idea.
176
00:06:55,145 --> 00:06:57,076
You can go give her back the phone.
177
00:06:57,077 --> 00:06:58,542
And when she's done screaming at you,
178
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,409
also known as me, I'll
swoop in and be not me.
179
00:07:01,410 --> 00:07:02,633
Tucker, you're a genius.
180
00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:04,124
No no no no no.
181
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,122
Last time I heard
"Tucker, you're a genius,"
182
00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,897
I ended up in zoo jail.
183
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:10,708
But you got to hold the koala.
184
00:07:12,097 --> 00:07:13,700
That's true. (Chuckles)
185
00:07:14,488 --> 00:07:16,448
Ooh! I got it.
186
00:07:17,173 --> 00:07:18,788
"Bonnie Wheeler...
187
00:07:18,789 --> 00:07:21,778
Keepin' it real... tor."
188
00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:23,706
Yeah?
189
00:07:23,707 --> 00:07:25,528
- (Emma screams)
- Yeah! Huh?
190
00:07:26,858 --> 00:07:28,564
Okay, so, here's what's gonna happen.
191
00:07:28,565 --> 00:07:29,952
You're gonna see me from across the room,
192
00:07:29,953 --> 00:07:33,691
find me just wildly attractive
and come over and hit on me.
193
00:07:33,692 --> 00:07:35,506
Got it. What's my backstory?
194
00:07:36,845 --> 00:07:38,110
You're a hockey player...
195
00:07:38,111 --> 00:07:40,852
Ohh, that's good. I can play that.
196
00:07:41,814 --> 00:07:44,817
Okay, who really really likes me.
197
00:07:44,818 --> 00:07:46,410
I can play that too.
198
00:07:46,411 --> 00:07:47,416
Okay.
199
00:07:48,607 --> 00:07:50,047
I'm goin' in.
200
00:07:50,048 --> 00:07:53,022
And then I said, "no, you're out of order."
201
00:07:53,023 --> 00:07:54,241
(All laugh)
202
00:07:54,242 --> 00:07:55,863
All right, shoo shoo shoo
shoo, with all of you boys.
203
00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:58,531
Sorry, we're having a
conversation here. Bye bye bye bye.
204
00:07:58,532 --> 00:08:00,413
Oh, God, I am so sorry.
205
00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:03,037
Things are just crazy at the office.
206
00:08:03,038 --> 00:08:05,832
Depositions, contracts, finishing my novel.
207
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,657
Excuse me, I just saw
you from across the room
208
00:08:08,658 --> 00:08:10,525
and find you wildly attractive.
209
00:08:10,526 --> 00:08:12,518
I just had to come and hit on you.
210
00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:16,636
Oh, my gosh. That is so sweet.
211
00:08:16,637 --> 00:08:19,705
(Exhales) I'm a hockey player.
212
00:08:20,847 --> 00:08:22,704
Really? I love hockey.
213
00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:24,152
I used to play in high school.
214
00:08:24,153 --> 00:08:26,359
Seriously? That is so cool.
215
00:08:27,503 --> 00:08:29,245
Okay. No, you didn't, no, she didn't.
216
00:08:30,095 --> 00:08:33,181
Well, I bet I can score on you any day.
217
00:08:33,575 --> 00:08:35,859
Oh-ho, I don't know...
218
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,377
I'm a professional.
219
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,727
(Chuckles) I wasn't talking about skating.
220
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,041
Neither was I.
221
00:08:43,416 --> 00:08:45,105
Okay. Hey hey. Over here, let's focus.
222
00:08:46,039 --> 00:08:49,075
We probably shouldn't make my friend
over here feel like a third wheel.
223
00:08:49,076 --> 00:08:52,990
So how about you call me later?
224
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,973
Sure. What's your number?
225
00:08:56,591 --> 00:08:58,190
Oh! The card, right.
226
00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:00,596
I should probably go.
227
00:09:01,853 --> 00:09:03,670
(Exhales) Oh, my God.
228
00:09:03,671 --> 00:09:05,059
How cute was he?
229
00:09:05,633 --> 00:09:07,038
Well, thank God you liked him,
230
00:09:07,039 --> 00:09:09,049
'cause I was like, "blech!" You know?
231
00:09:11,726 --> 00:09:13,079
Ooh, there she is.
232
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,473
Okay, just a quick "here you go,"
233
00:09:14,474 --> 00:09:15,469
and then get out of my way.
234
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:16,737
Okay, cool. But after this,
235
00:09:16,738 --> 00:09:18,221
I'm gonna need you to be me at work,
236
00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:21,205
and return a stapler to
a large woman named Janet.
237
00:09:23,682 --> 00:09:26,319
Sydney? Ben. Here's your phone.
238
00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:27,983
Oh, I'd say "nice to meet you,"
239
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:31,430
but that ship sailed about
three lattes and two muffins ago.
240
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:34,710
Well, pardon me for having a life.
241
00:09:34,711 --> 00:09:37,310
Oh, do you? That's so great.
242
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:38,712
I wonder what that's like.
243
00:09:39,429 --> 00:09:42,087
Hey, girl, I came all
the way uptown for this.
244
00:09:42,088 --> 00:09:44,313
The least you could do is say "thanks."
245
00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:45,789
(Sarcastically) Thanks.
246
00:09:46,966 --> 00:09:48,688
Ooh, I do not like your tone.
247
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,783
- What is...
- Excuse me, is this guy bothering you?
248
00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:52,432
Oh, he certainly is.
249
00:09:52,433 --> 00:09:53,563
Well, then I'm gonna have to ask you
250
00:09:53,564 --> 00:09:54,759
to leave this woman alone.
251
00:09:55,474 --> 00:09:56,738
Run along now.
252
00:10:01,007 --> 00:10:02,285
(Both chuckle)
253
00:10:02,286 --> 00:10:03,327
Thank you.
254
00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:04,889
That guy was such a jerk.
255
00:10:06,263 --> 00:10:08,396
- I'm Sydney.
- Pleasure to meet you.
256
00:10:08,397 --> 00:10:09,948
I'm... Tucker.
257
00:10:10,553 --> 00:10:11,754
Tucker Dobbs.
258
00:10:15,107 --> 00:10:17,678
Tucker, you, my friend, were perfect.
259
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,076
Thank you. Sydney is amazing.
260
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,975
Yeah yeah, she's something, all right.
261
00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:25,242
Ha! Well, it doesn't really matter
what you think about her, Ben,
262
00:10:25,243 --> 00:10:28,008
because Tucker got her
number and he plans to use it.
263
00:10:28,009 --> 00:10:29,285
(Cellphone rings)
264
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:32,592
Uh-oh.
265
00:10:32,593 --> 00:10:34,721
Sydney's got Ben's number and is using it.
266
00:10:34,722 --> 00:10:37,357
To video chat. Dude, what does she want?!
267
00:10:37,358 --> 00:10:38,923
Here, you have to be me. Answer it!
268
00:10:38,924 --> 00:10:40,198
Answer it!
269
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:41,655
(Beeps)
270
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,217
Hello, Sydney.
271
00:10:45,218 --> 00:10:47,152
Ben, I'm so sorry.
272
00:10:47,153 --> 00:10:48,747
I don't know what came over me today,
273
00:10:49,154 --> 00:10:52,051
but the truth is, you're really cute.
274
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,213
And I've been thinking about you all day.
275
00:10:54,918 --> 00:10:56,785
Aw, I've been thinking about you too.
276
00:10:57,601 --> 00:10:58,946
No, you haven't.
277
00:10:58,947 --> 00:11:00,035
Ask about me!
278
00:11:00,674 --> 00:11:02,457
So, what about that other guy?
279
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,757
The Mr. "hey, is this guy bothering you?"
280
00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:06,989
(Chuckles) Tucker, he was nice.
281
00:11:07,371 --> 00:11:10,485
But he's not the guy I talked to on
the phone for two hours this morning.
282
00:11:11,163 --> 00:11:12,342
Yes, he is!
283
00:11:12,823 --> 00:11:14,069
So, I was wondering,
284
00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,889
maybe, we could try that again sometime.
285
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:18,181
Are you asking me out?
286
00:11:18,605 --> 00:11:20,398
No! She's asking me out.
287
00:11:20,399 --> 00:11:22,160
You're just the face of this operation.
288
00:11:22,161 --> 00:11:23,604
Now use it to tell her no.
289
00:11:23,605 --> 00:11:24,810
- Fine.
- Okay.
290
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:26,633
Sorry about that.
291
00:11:26,634 --> 00:11:27,900
So...
292
00:11:29,094 --> 00:11:30,661
When did you wanna get together?
293
00:11:30,662 --> 00:11:32,019
Oh, you...
294
00:11:34,307 --> 00:11:36,195
for the last time, I'm sorry.
295
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,414
What was I supposed to do? Just ignore her?
296
00:11:38,415 --> 00:11:40,000
Yes yes. You could ignore her,
297
00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:41,732
'cause that was the whole
point of the whole thing.
298
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,978
Then I am so canceling our date tonight.
299
00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:45,482
You made a date with her?
300
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:46,710
No!
301
00:11:46,711 --> 00:11:47,904
We were just gonna go out for a drink...
302
00:11:49,144 --> 00:11:50,388
And dinner.
303
00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:52,330
Danny... you know what? Go.
304
00:11:52,331 --> 00:11:53,359
I don't even care.
305
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,844
I'm sure Heather would actually implode
306
00:11:54,845 --> 00:11:56,214
if somebody canceled on her.
307
00:11:56,972 --> 00:11:57,859
You know what?
308
00:11:58,336 --> 00:12:00,317
That is actually a really good idea.
309
00:12:00,318 --> 00:12:03,385
Hey hey hey, I don't need some
girl imploding all over me.
310
00:12:03,386 --> 00:12:06,001
No no no, I think it's
time to do unto Heather
311
00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:08,225
as Heather has done unto me.
312
00:12:08,226 --> 00:12:10,197
You are so keeping that date.
313
00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:11,816
Oh, my God.
314
00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:15,798
(Reading sign) "Looking for a HOT property?
Let's go home together"?
315
00:12:15,799 --> 00:12:17,703
What exactly is your mother selling?
316
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,415
Hey, kids!
317
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,442
So, what do you think of the new bench?
318
00:12:21,443 --> 00:12:23,444
I'm getting loads of calls.
319
00:12:23,445 --> 00:12:27,171
Apparently, there are tons of men
in this city without apartments.
320
00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:28,160
(Cellphone rings)
321
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,602
And there is one now.
322
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:31,552
Yello?
323
00:12:32,314 --> 00:12:33,892
Yes, this is Bonnie.
324
00:12:34,497 --> 00:12:36,593
Yeah, well, I don't know if
the curtains match the drapes.
325
00:12:36,594 --> 00:12:37,593
It's a new listing.
326
00:12:37,594 --> 00:12:38,792
Mom! Mom! Mom.
327
00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:40,474
I think it might have been
helpful if you'd mention
328
00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:42,193
that you were selling real estate.
329
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,408
What else would I be selling?
330
00:12:46,819 --> 00:12:49,250
Oh, my God. I have to
cancel some appointments.
331
00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:50,606
(Gasps)
332
00:12:50,607 --> 00:12:53,332
How could the company logo get left off?
333
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,709
Tucker said he would
take care of everything.
334
00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:58,480
He came up with the slogan, and he
said that he would proof it for me
335
00:12:58,481 --> 00:12:59,855
and make sure that no...
336
00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:01,351
Oh, Tucker!
337
00:13:02,084 --> 00:13:02,993
Hi, guys.
338
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,315
Oh, cool, it's up.
339
00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,733
Huh. You know, now that I see it,
340
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:09,719
you kind of look like a prostitute.
341
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,260
You think?!
342
00:13:11,261 --> 00:13:12,992
Oh, my God!
343
00:13:14,364 --> 00:13:16,057
Okay, listen, you filthy old pervert,
344
00:13:16,058 --> 00:13:17,984
never call this number again!
345
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:21,880
Oh. Sorry, grandma. (Chuckles nervously)
346
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:25,214
Go like this. Emma, go like this.
347
00:13:25,215 --> 00:13:26,908
Let me see how many you got. Huh?
348
00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:29,377
Oh, my God!
349
00:13:29,378 --> 00:13:30,430
Oh, my God, Ben, you gotta help me.
350
00:13:30,431 --> 00:13:31,269
I'm not talking to you.
351
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,824
I wasn't gonna go out with her!
352
00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:35,229
(Running footsteps approaching)
353
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,216
Where is he?!
354
00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:39,684
Bedroom.
355
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:41,185
You are dead!
356
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:42,516
Aah!
357
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:43,638
Oh, my God.
358
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,578
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
359
00:13:45,579 --> 00:13:47,201
No! No!
360
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:49,600
No no! Oh, fake-out!
361
00:13:49,958 --> 00:13:51,257
Aah!
362
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,344
Ha ha ha!
363
00:13:53,345 --> 00:13:54,575
Oh, no, you don't!
364
00:13:54,576 --> 00:13:56,420
(Pounding on door)
365
00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:59,020
And why would you wanna go out with
someone who wants to go out with me?
366
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,216
She doesn't wanna go out with you,
367
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:01,402
she wants to go out with me.
368
00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:02,844
Okay? So this is what's gonna happen.
369
00:14:02,845 --> 00:14:05,463
You're gonna go out with Sydney and you're
gonna be the biggest jerk who ever lived.
370
00:14:05,464 --> 00:14:07,366
But I don't even know how to be a jerk.
371
00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:09,507
Don't worry. I do.
372
00:14:11,371 --> 00:14:14,106
Tucker, open up. I'm not mad anymore.
373
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,517
Alright, Heather should be here any minute.
374
00:14:20,518 --> 00:14:23,557
Oh, God, I can't wait to see the look
on her face when she sees us together.
375
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:24,918
I kinda feel bad about this.
376
00:14:24,919 --> 00:14:26,506
Oh, yeah yeah, whatever.
Take your shirt off.
377
00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:29,412
- Are you sure?
- Oh, my God, come on. Work with me here, Wheeler.
378
00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:30,835
We have to make this look really good.
379
00:14:33,283 --> 00:14:35,025
Now, uh, get down on the couch.
380
00:14:36,145 --> 00:14:37,668
Let's do this.
381
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:38,988
Uh...
382
00:14:38,989 --> 00:14:40,512
How long are you gonna be on top of me?
383
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,251
Oh, God, sorry. Am I too heavy?
384
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:44,353
That is so not the problem.
385
00:14:45,483 --> 00:14:47,989
- (Knocking on door)
- Hello? Danny, are you...
386
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:49,681
(gasps) Oh, my God.
387
00:14:49,682 --> 00:14:52,370
Danny? Riley?
388
00:14:52,371 --> 00:14:53,644
What is going on?
389
00:14:53,645 --> 00:14:54,678
Oh, no, Heather,
390
00:14:54,679 --> 00:14:56,844
this is so not what it looks like.
391
00:14:57,846 --> 00:15:00,846
Actually, it's exactly what it looks like.
392
00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:03,534
Oops.
393
00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:05,941
What is wrong with you?!
394
00:15:05,942 --> 00:15:07,473
I can't believe you would do this to me!
395
00:15:10,196 --> 00:15:11,673
Yes!
396
00:15:13,002 --> 00:15:17,719
That was awesome! I won! I finally won!
397
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,651
Oh, my God, it's like she couldn't
even comprehend what was happening.
398
00:15:20,652 --> 00:15:23,171
And did you see the look on her face?
399
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,402
That was the face of defeat.
400
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:29,047
That was my face. She was me!
401
00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,040
Which means...
402
00:15:31,439 --> 00:15:32,944
That I was her.
403
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,065
Oh, my God.
404
00:15:37,657 --> 00:15:40,386
Oh. Ew. God, I'm a horrible person.
405
00:15:40,387 --> 00:15:41,801
Oh, why didn't you say something?
406
00:15:43,229 --> 00:15:45,037
We have to go after her. Are you coming?
407
00:15:45,038 --> 00:15:48,309
Um, no, you go on ahead. I'm just
gonna stay here for a minute or two.
408
00:15:49,474 --> 00:15:51,001
No reason.
409
00:15:52,927 --> 00:15:55,430
Ben, this just is not going to work.
410
00:15:55,431 --> 00:15:58,345
I mean, let's face it. I
am just too darn lovable.
411
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,773
Don't worry. I'll walk you through it.
412
00:16:01,774 --> 00:16:03,185
Just do everything I say.
413
00:16:03,186 --> 00:16:04,452
Oh, here she comes. Here she comes.
414
00:16:04,453 --> 00:16:06,191
- Here you go.
- (Chuckles)
415
00:16:06,192 --> 00:16:07,294
Oh! I know exactly what to say.
416
00:16:07,781 --> 00:16:08,992
(Clears throat)
417
00:16:10,142 --> 00:16:11,706
I hope you brought a lot of cash,
418
00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:14,369
because I'm planning on getting trashed!
419
00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:15,578
(Both laughing)
420
00:16:15,579 --> 00:16:17,353
And I hope you're ready for trouble,
421
00:16:17,354 --> 00:16:19,673
'cause I'm ready to see double!
422
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:21,025
Ho ho!
423
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:25,287
Oh, my God. She really
is the perfect woman.
424
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,365
Oh, there she is.
425
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,392
Let me just talk to her alone for a second.
426
00:16:33,836 --> 00:16:35,313
Hey, you workin' or lurkin'?
427
00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:36,984
Lurkin'. Tucker's being me,
428
00:16:36,985 --> 00:16:38,154
and I'm being him.
429
00:16:38,155 --> 00:16:39,660
Fun! Who am I?
430
00:16:40,706 --> 00:16:42,725
You're just you, okay?
431
00:16:44,781 --> 00:16:46,280
I'm trying to break up
with a girl who's impervious
432
00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:47,786
to even my jerkiest moves.
433
00:16:48,088 --> 00:16:51,522
Both:
and the home of the...
434
00:16:52,113 --> 00:16:54,010
(Both belch loudly)
435
00:16:54,011 --> 00:16:55,501
(Laughs)
436
00:17:02,005 --> 00:17:03,159
(Sighs)
437
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,216
Heather.
438
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,212
I owe you a huge apology,
439
00:17:07,213 --> 00:17:08,735
because what you saw back there,
440
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,009
it wasn't even real.
441
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:11,881
The guy is a friend of mine.
442
00:17:12,709 --> 00:17:14,084
I don't understand.
443
00:17:14,085 --> 00:17:15,455
I guess I just wanted to feel like
444
00:17:15,456 --> 00:17:17,587
I'd finally won at something.
445
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:21,470
And I wanted to hurt you the way
that you hurt me when you stole Jacob.
446
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,258
Who's Jacob?
447
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,196
Jacob. (Scoffs)
448
00:17:26,197 --> 00:17:28,348
My boyfriend at summer camp.
449
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:30,439
My first kiss. My second base.
450
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:33,192
You never had a boyfriend at summer camp.
451
00:17:33,193 --> 00:17:36,800
Uh, yeah, I did until you swooped
in with your quick-release bra.
452
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:40,568
Okay, let me start over.
453
00:17:42,106 --> 00:17:44,109
Now just tell her you're
looking to scam with someone,
454
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,586
not actually date right now.
455
00:17:45,587 --> 00:17:46,897
Oh oh, I know, I know.
456
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:48,572
Tell her her hair smells nice.
457
00:17:50,225 --> 00:17:51,791
You are so bad at this.
458
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:54,107
This why I had to learn
everything I know off the streets.
459
00:17:54,108 --> 00:17:55,704
Hey! I know how to get girls.
460
00:17:55,705 --> 00:17:56,936
I'm meeting up with one right now.
461
00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:58,072
And I have to say,
462
00:17:58,073 --> 00:17:59,267
she's pretty hot.
463
00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:01,878
And in the end, I just realized
464
00:18:01,879 --> 00:18:04,222
what a horrible person I was becoming.
465
00:18:04,223 --> 00:18:06,230
And by horrible, you mean just like me?
466
00:18:06,231 --> 00:18:07,829
Oh, my God. So you do understand?
467
00:18:09,644 --> 00:18:10,963
Friends again?
468
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,948
So, are you ready to kiss and make up?
469
00:18:13,949 --> 00:18:15,296
I know I am.
470
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:19,095
Oh, good, I was hoping
you two would be here.
471
00:18:19,419 --> 00:18:20,358
I did it.
472
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,278
I made it clear what I was selling.
473
00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:26,279
And now I can go back to just
giving the other part away.
474
00:18:27,312 --> 00:18:29,116
Hey, hooker heels, hold this.
475
00:18:29,728 --> 00:18:32,295
And... (Imitates drum roll)
476
00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:35,166
Ha!
477
00:18:35,167 --> 00:18:36,266
Wheeler?
478
00:18:36,751 --> 00:18:39,297
You aren't related to
a Ben Wheeler, are you?
479
00:18:39,298 --> 00:18:40,882
Oh, yeah. He's my brother.
480
00:18:40,883 --> 00:18:42,648
Weren't you like totally
in love with that guy?
481
00:18:42,649 --> 00:18:44,984
Seriously, it was like
all you ever talked about.
482
00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:46,921
- No no, it wasn't.
- Yeah.
483
00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:49,540
Yeah, I'm pretty sure Ben
Wheeler was the name of the pillow
484
00:18:49,541 --> 00:18:50,840
you were always making out with.
485
00:18:52,826 --> 00:18:54,399
Are you guys looking for a Ben Wheeler?
486
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,050
'Cause I'm having drinks
with him over there.
487
00:18:57,109 --> 00:18:58,460
Oh.
488
00:18:58,461 --> 00:19:00,372
Oh, no, that's not Ben. That's Tucker.
489
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,375
- No, it's not.
- Oh, no.
490
00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:04,972
That's Tucker, all right.
That son of a bench.
491
00:19:06,832 --> 00:19:08,544
A word, tuck tuck?
492
00:19:08,545 --> 00:19:09,508
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!
493
00:19:09,509 --> 00:19:10,993
No! Really?
494
00:19:10,994 --> 00:19:12,090
- Yeah!
- No.
495
00:19:12,393 --> 00:19:13,914
No! Oh!
496
00:19:13,915 --> 00:19:16,025
Oh, God!
497
00:19:16,026 --> 00:19:17,117
It was lovely to meet you.
498
00:19:18,894 --> 00:19:19,868
Ben!
499
00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:21,819
No no no no no. Actually, I'm Ben.
500
00:19:23,158 --> 00:19:24,749
What the hell is going on?
501
00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:26,158
It's kind of a long story.
502
00:19:26,509 --> 00:19:28,247
- Try me.
- Okay.
503
00:19:28,248 --> 00:19:31,031
Well, I liked you and you liked me,
504
00:19:31,032 --> 00:19:33,264
but then you got mad, so
I sent him in to be me,
505
00:19:33,265 --> 00:19:34,458
but then you liked him.
506
00:19:34,459 --> 00:19:36,079
But he was just pretending to be me.
507
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,830
So I sent him in to be me
to make you not like him,
508
00:19:37,831 --> 00:19:39,090
but it turned out you liked him,
509
00:19:39,091 --> 00:19:41,642
which means you like me.
510
00:19:43,102 --> 00:19:45,212
It's actually kinda simple
when you think about it.
511
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:49,815
Well, unfortunately, I, who's also me,
512
00:19:49,816 --> 00:19:51,823
doesn't really like
either one of you anymore.
513
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:55,161
In fact, you, meaning you...
514
00:19:55,162 --> 00:19:56,836
Are kind of a jerk.
515
00:20:03,139 --> 00:20:04,773
Hey, what are you doing here?
516
00:20:04,774 --> 00:20:06,352
I don't wanna get in the way of anything.
517
00:20:06,353 --> 00:20:08,368
You know, if you have any overnight guests.
518
00:20:08,369 --> 00:20:10,145
- Riley, it's not...
- Just let me finish.
519
00:20:11,202 --> 00:20:13,620
I never should have put
you in that position.
520
00:20:13,621 --> 00:20:16,800
And if you like Heather,
then I am totally fine
521
00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:18,159
with the two of you going out.
522
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,472
We're not going out.
523
00:20:19,473 --> 00:20:21,036
She kinda disappeared right after you left.
524
00:20:21,037 --> 00:20:22,535
Oh, thank God. 'Cause
that last thing I said
525
00:20:22,536 --> 00:20:23,977
- I really didn't mean it.
- (Door opens)
526
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:27,577
Oh.
527
00:20:27,578 --> 00:20:28,814
Oh, morning, Riley.
528
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:30,976
Danny, I thought you just said that...
529
00:20:30,977 --> 00:20:32,813
don't look at me. She's not mine.
530
00:20:34,247 --> 00:20:35,649
- Good morning. Hi.
- Good morning.
531
00:20:39,176 --> 00:20:41,073
Hey, have you guys met Heather yet?
532
00:20:43,818 --> 00:20:45,199
Well played.
533
00:20:51,715 --> 00:20:53,127
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
534
00:20:53,821 --> 00:20:55,287
Hold it up, grandpa. Move along, all right?
535
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:56,916
I'm selling dreams here. Okay? Yeah.
536
00:20:56,917 --> 00:20:58,578
Shuffle along. Go go go go go go.
537
00:20:59,284 --> 00:21:02,088
Bonnie Wheeler, family realtor.
538
00:21:03,132 --> 00:21:05,175
Bonnie Wheeler, just a single mom
539
00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:06,668
trying to make a living.
540
00:21:07,444 --> 00:21:10,035
Bonnie Wheeler, hot property.
541
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:12,196
You know, just babysitting. She's not mine.
542
00:21:12,197 --> 00:21:13,790
Oh, yeah. I got all day.
543
00:21:14,194 --> 00:21:15,903
I got nowhere to be. Walk slow.
544
00:21:15,953 --> 00:21:20,503
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