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1
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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,078
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,197
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,274
♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:26,114
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,310
Oh! Oh! Oh!
7
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,919
What's the matter? Are you all right?
8
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,719
I shall never play the violin again,
that's for sure.
9
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,836
You shouldn't have carried so much.
10
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,717
We shouldn't have sent so much!
11
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,758
"A few things to be dry cleaned
for the charity shop," you said.
12
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,274
I'm not only in pain, I'm bankrupt as well.
13
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,830
- Is that all?
- Look, I'm entitled to a little moan.
14
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,638
No, I mean is that
all the dry cleaning?
15
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,030
There's one more load.
Have I got some gloves somewhere?
16
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,350
You do make a fuss. I'll go.
17
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,159
Don't try to carry it all at once!
18
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:05,389
(Sighs)
19
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,516
(Jean moaning)
20
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:32,436
Ow! Ow! Ow!
21
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,795
- Making a bit of a fuss, aren't you?
- Ow.
22
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,110
If my hands didn't hurt so much,
I'd punch you.
23
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,636
I don't know about Help The Aged,
I feel like the aged.
24
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,597
Nonsense. You're a young stag.
25
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,319
Hmm... Is it me or is it draughty in here?
26
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,119
It's you. No, it isn't.
I've left the door open.
27
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,350
You're meant to say, "I'll get it, dear".
28
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,591
I'm not sure I could grasp the
door-handle with hands like these.
29
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,716
You used to be an officer
and a gentleman.
30
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,519
I lied. I was actually
only ever a lance corporal.
31
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,635
- Good gracious!
- What?
32
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,075
- The Duncans are moving.
- Who are the Duncans?
33
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,230
- The people who live next door!
- Oh, yes.
34
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,551
- There's a For Sale sign up.
- That is the normal practice.
35
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,791
- They only moved in a few weeks ago.
- Yes, they did.
36
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,632
Why would they want to move so soon?
37
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,280
Perhaps they don't like their neighbours.
38
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,510
I don't know, do I? I'm not going to ask.
39
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,912
Nor am I. They're either in each other's
arms or at each other's throats.
40
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,151
If you found them rolling on the ground,
you mightn't know which.
41
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,150
- Oh dear.
- What?
42
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,151
I've just realised what this means.
43
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,710
Weeks and weeks of "I wonder what
the next neighbours will be like?"
44
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,916
I shouldn't worry about it if I were you.
45
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,797
- Come on.
- Where?
46
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,713
We've got to get
this stuff down to the charity shop.
47
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,155
- In the car?
- Of course in the car.
48
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,549
We're not going to take it
in a wheelbarrow.
49
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:51,555
Why did we take it out of the car
and bring it all in here in the first place?
50
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,677
- Are you ready?
- I suppose so.
51
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:59,470
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
52
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,393
- (Jean) Open the door!
- (Lionel) I can't open the door!
53
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,995
There you are. What are you doing?
54
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,469
- Working.
- It's Saturday.
55
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,437
I'm not breaking any local bylaw, am I?
56
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,115
Look, why don't you just ring Harry?
57
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,395
Why doesn't Harry ring me?
58
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,755
The last time he came round,
you told him to go away.
59
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,512
I know. And he did!
60
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,717
Now you understand that
and I understand that.
61
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,793
But men will take things literally
sometimes. Maybe that's what Harry did.
62
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,997
Or maybe he had a rugby match to go to.
63
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,390
- (Doorbell)
- If that should be Harry, tell him that...
64
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,948
If it's Harry,
I'm not gonna tell him anything.
65
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,749
If I were you, I would just sprawl
provocatively on the sofa.
66
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,512
That's game playing.
67
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,113
Of course it is.
68
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,797
I don't call that very provocative.
69
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,271
Why should Sandy want to look
provocative for me? Not that I mind.
70
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,669
I don't know why
you put up with him sometimes.
71
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,558
- Let me list a few hundred reasons.
- Please don't.
72
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,837
- You're very early. I'm not ready yet.
- That's the thing of it.
73
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,117
- Could we take a rain check on lunch?
- Why?
74
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:26,830
Because I just had a call from an old
friend who's only in town for the day.
75
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,275
- Go on.
- Carefully, if I were you.
76
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,952
Not that kind of old friend.
77
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,999
This is a guy I knew at university.
Leo Villiers, known as Nutcase.
78
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,389
Has he just been released
from somewhere?
79
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,755
Judy, please! This guy was an icon!
80
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,274
"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt."
81
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,113
He was the first!
I used to worship old Nutcase.
82
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,476
But he always made me feel so...
ordinary.
83
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:53,395
- I'd like to meet him.
- That's an idea! Come for lunch with us!
84
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,357
It was just a figure of speech.
85
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,432
Sandy could come as well, bring Har...
Harry.
86
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,829
Old Nutcase would turn it into a rave!
87
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,117
Harry and I aren't exactly raving
at present.
88
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,919
Oh, no, right. Sorry.
89
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,919
I mean, does that guy want his eyes
testing, or what?
90
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:15,753
You'll be going now, then?
91
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,035
Hmm? Oh, right.
92
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:19,994
Goodbye, beautiful.
93
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,915
Beautiful square, that is.
94
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:30,192
You know, I almost wish I had gone now.
95
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,589
(Sandy) You'd be bored out of your skull.
96
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,434
They'll be straight down memory lane.
Pubs they were thrown out of,
97
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,954
women they chased,
women they caught,
98
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:43,033
tutorials they missed, whose pants
they flew from the flagpole.
99
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,838
Yeah, I know all that.
100
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:49,630
No, I'd just like to meet the man
that can make Alistair feel ordinary.
101
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,350
- Will you shout how many?
- How many what?
102
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,670
- How many for lunch.
- Oh, all right.
103
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,036
- (Shouting) How many for lunch?
- Why is he shouting?
104
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,350
- He's just being funny.
- Right.
105
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,557
It's just you two actually.
I'm taking Sandy out for lunch.
106
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,074
- Have a chat, run down men,
cheer her up a bit.
107
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,195
(Jean) Good idea.
108
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,555
Men don't have lunches
to run down women.
109
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,035
We don't.
110
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:16,835
- Ready.
- Right.
111
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,672
- I'll see you later.
- Bye.
112
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,309
- We don't.
- Well, don't go on about it.
113
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,834
I sometimes feel outnumbered
in this house.
114
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,876
Oh, poor old thing.
115
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,954
- it's a shame about Harry and Sandy.
- I blame Sandy.
116
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,238
"Tell him I don't want to see him." Two
minutes later she's asking why he went!
117
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,073
- But she was bluffing.
- I've worked that out.
118
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,628
And it's her fault
that Harry called her bluff.
119
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,190
To a point, yes. He had a right to keep
her guessing for a bit,
120
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,635
but then he should have
come round again.
121
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,551
- As another bluff?
- No!
122
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,791
I give up. We didn't carry on
like that in our day, did we?
123
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,836
No, but then we didn't have
enough days.
124
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,674
- You mean, if you had had?
- And we were in love.
125
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,638
I prefer that answer.
126
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:05,599
- Are Sandy and Harry in love?
- I don't know.
127
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,432
They're very fond of each other.
128
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,112
- Where are you going?
- To phone.
129
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,792
Oh.
130
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,919
Put that book down.
131
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:22,955
What do you mean?
132
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:26,396
I know who you're phoning. Harry.
That's why you sneaked in here.
133
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,950
I didn't sneak anywhere.
I came in to look his phone number up.
134
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,632
You shouldn't phone him.
135
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,995
You don't even know
what I'm going to say.
136
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,469
You're not just going to pass
the time of day.
137
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:40,997
They're just two young people who've
fallen out and got on their high horses.
138
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,198
- You're going to make them dismount?
- Something like that, yes.
139
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,158
- It's nothing too arch, is it?
- It isn't arch at all.
140
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,471
I'm simply asking him to come round
so that they can sort it out.
141
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,232
I see.
142
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,153
Hello, Harry? It's Jean.
143
00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,678
Yes, I'm very well, thank you.
144
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,228
Harry, I'll come straight to the point.
145
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,151
Sandy wants to see you.
146
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,038
Yes, could you come round?
147
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,519
Oh, any time.
148
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,672
Yes, yes, an hour - that would be fine.
All right, I'll see you then.
149
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,318
Why are you looking like that?
150
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,551
- "Sandy wants to see you," you said.
- She does, deep down.
151
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,995
You made it sound like
a personal invitation!
152
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,311
- That's just an interpretation.
- It's not, it's the truth.
153
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,072
It'll be OK once they're together.
154
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,835
You're doing it again.
You're flying in the face of reason.
155
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,708
What's Sandy going to say when Harry
says "Why did you want to see me?
156
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,836
- Ah...
- Yes, "ah".
157
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:39,674
I'll tell Harry it was my idea
and let them sort it out.
158
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,833
And then if Sandy throws a wobbly, you
can go up to her room and get her out.
159
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,798
Oh no, if I try that,
she'll say she's not dressed.
160
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,313
She'd probably be bluffing.
161
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,550
Do you want me
to be the one who finds out?
162
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:55,031
I'll go up and drag her out.
That's that settled.
163
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,351
That's what Chamberlain said
when he came back from Munich.
164
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,158
- Just a minute!
- Now what?
165
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,515
"Come round in an hour," you said.
166
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,591
- It will.
- In case you've forgotten,
167
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:06,591
- Sandy's just gone out.
- I know that.
168
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,389
It will give us a chance to have a little
chat to Harry before she gets back.
169
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,799
Let's go and have lunch.
170
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,871
Suddenly I'm not very hungry.
171
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,068
(Doorbell)
172
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,072
- I'm not lecturing him.
- I'm not asking you to lecture him.
173
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:26,995
I'm asking you to get him concentrated
on Sandy and not sport. Ready?
174
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:30,959
Hello, Harry. Come in.
175
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,519
- Hello, thanks.
- Hello.
176
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,238
Hello.
177
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,799
You said that Sandy wanted...
178
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:38,110
- She does, she does.
- Cup of tea, Harry?
179
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,794
- No, thanks.
- Or coffee? Won't take long to make.
180
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,075
Lionel! Harry, do go in.
181
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,157
- Do sit down.
- Thank you.
182
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,716
How's the police force?
183
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,314
I can't speak for all of it,
but my bit's all right.
184
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,594
Good.
185
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,033
Sure you wouldn't like
a cup of something?
186
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:07,157
Lionel, sit down. Harry's come to chat.
187
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,800
- Where is Sandy?
- She's out to lunch.
188
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:13,792
- But you said she wanted to see me.
- She does.
189
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,313
Then why has she gone out?
190
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,551
Because she didn't know
you would be here.
191
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,837
- You might as well come clean.
- I'm coming clean!
192
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,758
Harry, Sandy doesn't know
that I phoned you.
193
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,558
But I know she really wants to see you,
194
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,108
- so I, well, sort of...
- Stitched me up.
195
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,428
No! Please don't go.
196
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,080
You're here now
and I know she won't walk away.
197
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,435
I mean, before,
when she asked you to go away,
198
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,988
- she didn't want you to go away.
- Why say it then?
199
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,957
- That's what I said.
- Because...
200
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,396
Never mind. Please, stay.
201
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,116
It was the trip to Jersey that did it.
202
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,988
Sandy thought it was a little break
for the two of you, not a rugby tour.
203
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,992
- She comes to watch me play.
- Because she likes you.
204
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,436
Not because she likes standing
on a cold touchline for two hours.
205
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,431
- 80 minutes.
- 80 minutes then!
206
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,398
Sandy's not asking me to give up rugby?
207
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,994
- Of course not.
- It's more than just a game.
208
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,833
You've played rugby,
haven't you, Mr Hardcastle?
209
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,310
Lionel. Yes, I did.
At school, then in the army.
210
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,311
Not once I got posted to Korea though.
211
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,709
- Were you in Korea?
- Over a year.
212
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,836
I've got an uncle who was in Korea.
213
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,673
- Not in the Middlesex regiment?
- No, Gloucesters.
214
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:30,357
A fine regiment. You know,
if I was asked to name just one thing
215
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,510
that reminded me of playing rugby,
216
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:37,071
it wouldn't be a particular match
or the smell of embrocation and sweat.
217
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,991
It would be a sound.
218
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:43,039
The sound of studs clattering
on the changing room floor.
219
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,759
- Now isn't that funny?
- What? You too?
220
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:49,549
Yes. I don't suppose
you ever forget that sound.
221
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,029
No, I don't suppose so. Clatter, clatter,
222
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,590
- (Both) Clatter, clatter, clatter!
- Have you finished?
223
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,035
- What?
- We were talking about Sandy!
224
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,553
Oh, yes, sorry.
225
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,119
- Well?
- Well what?
226
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,077
- Lionel?
- What?
227
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,720
- Oh, what's the point?
- (Door closes)
228
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,679
There! Now we're too late because
they're back. Just don't talk about sport!
229
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,671
Sandy! Harry's here.
230
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,593
(Sandy) I don't want to see...
(Jean) Yes, you do!
231
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,274
Here she is.
232
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,510
Ahem... Hello, Sandy.
233
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,555
Hello.
234
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,993
(Mouthing) Go away!
235
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,799
Oh, yes. Excuse us.
236
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,916
Harry called round.
237
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,355
- Yes, I can see that.
- Only because I was...
238
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,431
He wanted to see you! So talk to him!
239
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,593
Sor... Oh, sorry.
240
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,113
I didn't call round at all.
241
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,236
You mean you just materialised?
242
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,469
No, no, no...
243
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,830
Jean phoned.
She said you wanted to see me.
244
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,912
- I said no such thing.
- I know.
245
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,436
I do wish people would let us sort
things out for ourselves.
246
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,592
We've not been doing a good job of it,
have we?
247
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,591
No.
248
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:08,559
- I've missed you.
- Oh, I've missed you too.
249
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,432
Come on!
250
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,032
How's it going?
251
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,476
- Sir Galahad pulled me away.
- They should be left to themselves.
252
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,199
- They were!
- Without anybody listening.
253
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,397
Don't criticise me. You were a lot of help.
"Clatter, clatter!"
254
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,596
Harry and I just got talking about rugby.
255
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,910
Which we wanted to steer him
away from!
256
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,513
- (Doorbell)
- I'll go.
257
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,955
Don't listen outside the door
as you go past!
258
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,316
Poor Lionel.
It's a world full of women, isn't it?
259
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,154
If it's not me and Sandy creating
problems, it's Mum trying to solve them.
260
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,915
Don't feel too sorry for me. I know men
who'd kill to live in this house.
261
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,152
- Hi, guys!
- Hello, Alistair.
262
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,118
- You were having lunch with Leo.
- I did!
263
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,237
The way you described him,
I thought it would go on for days.
264
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,719
Who is Leo?
265
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,270
- Alistair's role model at university.
- What does he do now?
266
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,557
- What doesn't he do!
- I shouldn't have asked.
267
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:13,078
Would you mind if we slipped away
to another part of the forest to talk.
268
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,832
No, no, of course not.
269
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,833
Not the sitting room! Sandy and Harry
are getting back together.
270
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,992
- All they'd said was "hello".
- It's a start.
271
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,640
You two stay here and we'll go.
Come on, Lionel.
272
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,712
Where are we going to sit?
In the bathroom?
273
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,795
Now what?
274
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,552
I just thought we'd go for a walk.
275
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,954
That's not going for a walk.
276
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,912
I see... It's just from door
to door all day, is it?
277
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,718
Things could be afoot.
278
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,156
Us. We're supposed to be afoot.
Now will you come on!
279
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,269
Marriage?
280
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,271
That's right. The big "M".
281
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,275
That isn't what you're supposed
to do next.
282
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,830
I know. I just should have had some
warning.
283
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:12,038
What was I supposed to do? Say, "Hey,
I shall be proposing to you later today"?
284
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,317
No... I don't know. Why?
285
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,676
- What kind of a question is that?
- It's a fairly important one.
286
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,593
Because...
Can we go up to your bedroom?
287
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,679
This isn't the one about thinking more
clearly when we're lying down, is it?
288
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,797
No. This is all wrong.
289
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,950
This is a kitchen. You're making coffee.
290
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:38,989
This should be happening on a beach in
Acapulco or a ski lodge in St Moritz!
291
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,957
And would I still be making coffee?
292
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,234
Judy, I'm serious.
293
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,992
Yes, I think you are.
294
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,550
So, this is a kitchen.
You picked the time and the spot.
295
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,995
Could you at least stop making coffee?
296
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,314
Sorry.
297
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,838
As I told you before,
"impulse" is my middle name.
298
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,790
It suddenly happened to me
on the way back from lunch. Kaboom!
299
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,078
The farthest your impulses have got you
before is asking me to move in with you.
300
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:09,551
I want you to know that that offer still
stands should you say no to marriage.
301
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,189
Thank you.
302
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:17,559
But listen, Judy. Marriage is what I want.
Marriage is what I need.
303
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,235
Just try saying, "Mrs Alistair Deacon."
304
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,153
Mrs Alistair "lmpulse" Deacon.
305
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,191
This is no time for funnies, Judy!
306
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,955
I know. I just can't get over
the suddenness of it all.
307
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,749
- Hey. Rome wasn't built in a day.
- What?
308
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,953
Oh, no, that's the wrong one, isn't it?
309
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,793
Forget it, Judy. Just say yes.
310
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:51,514
Listen, Li... What would you say to me
calling you Dad from now on?
311
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,238
I'd say don't!
312
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,833
Pops?
313
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,514
I'd say don't on pain of death.
314
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,956
You're going to be my father-in-law.
I have to call you something.
315
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,600
I am not Judy's father.
316
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:06,669
Step-pops?
317
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,153
Stick with Li.
I don't like it, but I'm used to it.
318
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,595
Whatever you say... mate.
319
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:20,557
- They've been in there for hours.
- Lots to talk about. You, I suspect.
320
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,835
Do I feel comfortable with that?
321
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:23,909
I wouldn't.
322
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,229
We've been talking.
323
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,914
This is where you find out about
the wedding arrangements.
324
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,436
No, it isn't, not the honeymoon either.
No, Judy's got an idea.
325
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,954
- It's just a suggestion.
- Right.
326
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,996
If you hate the idea,
then you must say so.
327
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,274
We love it.
328
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,830
But if you hate it, Alistair,
you must say so.
329
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:42,909
Right.
330
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,629
Well, the house next door is up for sale.
331
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,952
We could buy it and live next door
to Mum and Lionel. What do you think?
332
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,952
How's Tom Brown getting on?
333
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,951
He's praying for little Arthur.
334
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,593
You hate the idea, don't you?
335
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,194
Not at all.
Tom's a very well-intentioned boy.
336
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:14,034
Don't be obtuse.
The idea of Judy living next door.
337
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:16,839
I don't hate the idea.
I just don't think it's very good.
338
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,798
- Why not?
- Well...
339
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,553
- I'll get a fair hearing on this, won't I?
- Of course.
340
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:24,551
Put it this way.
341
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,030
If you were Judy, you'd like to live next
door to you, wouldn't you?
342
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:31,590
I'd like to live...
Will you put that another way?
343
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,559
I mean, I can see the attraction for Judy,
but I can see the danger too.
344
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,428
What chance does a marriage stand
with the wife's mother living next door?
345
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,795
So I'm the wicked witch of the west,
am I?
346
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,758
Of course not, but you're a harbour.
347
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,717
That sounds very flattering.
348
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,358
A safe haven then.
349
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,112
The first spat with Alistair,
350
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,272
all Judy has to do is walk 30 feet
and she's home to Mummy.
351
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:54,998
Are you saying I'd take sides?
352
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,197
- Of course you would.
- Alistair could confide in you.
353
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,714
I don't want Alistair to confide in me!
354
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,392
Let them sort themselves out.
355
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,596
I see. So Judy's crying on the doorstep
356
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,875
and I say,
"Go away, you can't come in."?
357
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,679
- Did I say that?
- No.
358
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,308
Oh, well.
Maybe they'll change their minds.
359
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,868
I think Alistair should put his foot down.
360
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,952
So you wouldn't want
to live next to me then?
361
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,952
Not if I were your son-in-law, no.
362
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,270
Funny having Alistair for a son-in-law.
363
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,476
Hilarious.
364
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,357
Maybe Harry too.
365
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,034
- Sandy isn't your daughter.
- No, but she is almost.
366
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,918
- Don't you think you're rushing things?
- You never know.
367
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,672
I tell you what,
368
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,878
If Sandy and Harry got married, they
could buy the house on the other side
369
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,872
and then we could all live
next door to each other.
370
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,791
Pity they don't have a jukebox here.
I could put the funeral march on.
371
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,110
- Sorry, Li.
- Yeah, sorry.
372
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,397
If I were single and young
and in either of your shoes,
373
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,391
I'd be grinning all over my face.
374
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,950
It's just this living-next-door business.
375
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,396
The more I think about it,
the more the vibes say "wrong!"
376
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,755
I'm sure Sandy wants me
to give up rugby.
377
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,513
I'd feel like I was under a microscope
the whole time.
378
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,795
I've loved rugby since I was a kid.
379
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,190
- Judy wouldn't understand.
- I can't make Sandy understand.
380
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:23,910
The way you're carrying on, you should
be sitting outside with a bottle of Tizer.
381
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,719
That's not a Mr Kindness thing to say, Li.
382
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,598
Listen to yourselves whingeing on.
383
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,229
Judy wants this, Sandy wants that.
What about what you want?
384
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,834
- Yeah!
- You're talking guy power, aren't you?
385
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,836
I'm not talking about power of any kind.
386
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,480
I'm talking about the right
to express an opinion.
387
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,711
- We just have.
- Yes, but to me!
388
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,271
I'm not asking you to give up rugby,
and I'm certainly not marrying you.
389
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:52,272
There's a lot of the Che Guevara in you,
Li.
390
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,318
There is nothing of the Che Guevara
in me.
391
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:59,393
Just say what you want to say
to the people you ought to say it to.
392
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,390
Only don't say it was my idea.
393
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,078
- What are you looking for?
- Cheese. I can't find it.
394
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,991
Oh! Thank you.
395
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,472
- Do you know what Alistair's just said?
- No.
396
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,552
He doesn't want to live next door
when he and Judy get married.
397
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,675
Doesn't he?
398
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,115
Don't sound so surprised.
You know very well.
399
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,349
Why would I?
400
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,749
Because you said you wouldn't
if you were him.
401
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,311
Oh, yes. Perhaps they could buy
the house two doors away.
402
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,308
- I blame Judy.
- Judy? What has she done?
403
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,755
She let Alistair talk her round
in five minutes.
404
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,718
You're not a great one
for democracy, are you?
405
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,633
It's not a question of democracy,
it's common sense.
406
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,349
It's more important to a woman
where she lives, everyone knows that.
407
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,079
- Do they?
- Yes, ask any woman.
408
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,233
- Why are women suddenly "everyone"?
- Don't split hairs.
409
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,276
Yes, I really need to stop doing that.
410
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,194
Look, it's for the two of them
to decide and nobody else.
411
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,474
- Erm, I've been thinking...
- Oh, what?
412
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:18,839
Well, when Judy gets married
perhaps I should move out as well.
413
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,275
Oh, why? Lionel, ask her why?
414
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:23,112
You just did.
415
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,756
Because you only took me in in the first
place because I was unhappy.
416
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,193
No, we wanted you.
417
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,670
You make it sound as though we found
you in a basket on the doorstep.
418
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,113
I know you did,
419
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,714
And I can't tell you
how much I've appreciated it.
420
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,155
But with Judy gone...
421
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,596
I can't explain it... I'd feel like a lodger.
422
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,717
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You're another member of the family.
423
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,233
You're like a daughter to me.
424
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,232
Lionel, you think of Sandy
as a daughter, don't you?
425
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:54,393
I can't honestly say yes to that,
But there's no reason to go, Sandy.
426
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:59,600
Well, maybe. I don't know.
Let me think about it.
427
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:02,914
Oh!
428
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,719
- Now don't start.
- No, I'm not starting.
429
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:15,909
Why should you say we want an early
night? I'm not even tired.
430
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,673
I'm just being discreet,
for the sake of the chil...
431
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,115
You were going to say "children",
weren't you?
432
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,953
Young people.
Anyway, if you put your mind to it,
433
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,759
you can finish Tom Brown's Schooldays.
434
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,196
I'll be honest.
I find Tom better in short bursts.
435
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,272
Well, you'll have plenty of space
when the girls have gone.
436
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:36,511
- You're starting.
- No, I am not starting!
437
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,795
It will just seem funny just the two of us.
438
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:43,635
- Make it sound like a prison sentence.
- No, I don't mean that at all - just funny.
439
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:48,714
- You'd miss the girls, wouldn't you?
- Yes, I suppose so, in some ways.
440
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,678
"In some ways"?
In what ways wouldn't you miss them?
441
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,352
I don't have a secret list.
442
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,715
Oh, a list suggests quite a lot of reasons.
443
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,791
I just said I don't have a list.
444
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,791
If you had a list for not missing them,
445
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,997
would it be bigger or smaller
than the list for missing them?
446
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:09,436
- I think I'll have a bath.
- It was a perfectly simple question.
447
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:10,999
Quite a long bath.
448
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,632
Honestly, Harry,
I'm not asking you to give up rugby.
449
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,632
- Because I couldn't, you see.
- I know.
450
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,039
- Do you like cricket?
- I'm not mad about it, why?
451
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:27,918
Well, that's not till the summer anyway.
452
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,195
You know, I've been thinking.
453
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:33,431
I really appreciated
you coming round yesterday.
454
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,273
There's nothing to appreciate.
I missed you.
455
00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,591
Oh, but Saturdays are rugby days.
456
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,636
Postponed it.
457
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,188
- The whole game?
- Nothing more to do.
458
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,590
You postponed a rugby game
so that you could come and see me?
459
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,955
No, the game was postponed.
460
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,952
- Frozen pitch.
- Oh, I see.
461
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,112
- But I would have come round anyway.
- Would you really?
462
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,475
Of course I would.
463
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,312
As soon as the game was over.
464
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:07,238
If I'm honest I'm glad you put your foot
down about us living next door.
465
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,471
Really? He's a wise old bird, Li.
466
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,915
What's Lionel got to do with it?
467
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,754
Nothing. Nothing at all.
468
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,150
It was just a general observation.
469
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:25,792
You know - if our first child is a little boy,
I think we should call him Lionel.
470
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,270
It's a grown-up name.
You can't call a little baby Lionel.
471
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,838
- What about Jean then?
- I don't think a baby boy would like that.
472
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,399
I mean if we have a baby girl.
473
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,756
I know. Well, Mum would like that.
474
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,115
It's odd, isn't it?
Here we are, sitting here,
475
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,237
talking about where we're going to live
and having babies.
476
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,629
Yesterday you put off
having lunch with me,
477
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,757
- so you could see a college friend.
- And I'm glad I did, Judy,
478
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,831
that's what really made me propose.
479
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:54,876
You don't mean it was his idea?
480
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:55,995
What, Leo?
481
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,674
Leo once described marriage
as an institution
482
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,796
to which only lunatics get committed.
483
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,111
- No. It was just seeing him again.
- I don't follow.
484
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,509
Judy, the guy was a wreck.
485
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,319
A burnt-out shell of a man. A husk.
486
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:13,551
So you came home and proposed to me?
487
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,713
Well, don't you see? Leo's only a couple
of years older than I am.
488
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:21,554
A guy can't go on burning the candle
in the middle and at both ends forever.
489
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,279
If I don't do something now,
I could end up like that!
490
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,920
Which makes me the "something"?
491
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,116
Well... yes.
492
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,953
What do you think I am?
A Salvation Army hostel?
493
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,792
Judy!
494
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,916
You go and get yourself a nanny!
495
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,189
"Of course I would have come round
as soon as the game was over!"
496
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:46,872
Can you believe that?
497
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,838
He was just being a bit
too honest for his own good.
498
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,956
His own good!
What about my own good?
499
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,110
Oh, of course.
500
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:58,398
I mean, if he doesn't find me a more
attractive shape than a rugby ball,
501
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,993
then what is the point?
502
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,753
The rugby season can't go on forever,
can it?
503
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,674
It doesn't have to.
He's got the cricket season next.
504
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,478
Oh, I don't know.
505
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,391
- (Knocking)
- Come in.
506
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,198
Oh! Where's Lionel?
507
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:16,235
He's having a bath.
508
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,436
Move over.
509
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,751
Oh, what's the matter, love?
510
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,637
Alistair's the matter!
511
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,359
Do you know
what he thinks a wife is for?
512
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,752
To stop him turning into a burnt-out
shell like his ex-hero!
513
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,400
- Men!
- Men!
514
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,989
Oh, not you as well?
515
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,911
It's not our day, is it?
516
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,958
- Rugby?
- What else?
517
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,156
- I don't know.
- I don't know.
518
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,559
I don't know.
519
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:51,789
One of the bulbs in the bathroom
is flickering. I think... Oh.
520
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,279
- Hello, Lionel.
- Hello.
521
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:56,079
The girls were in need
of a little tender loving care.
522
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,832
Yes, of course.
523
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,918
- Where are you going?
- To have another bath.
524
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,070
(Theme music playing)
525
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,118
♪ You must remember this
526
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,714
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
527
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,951
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
528
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,755
♪ The fundamental things apply
529
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,389
♪ As time goes by
530
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:35,429
♪ And when two lovers woo
531
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,432
♪ They still say I love you
532
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,990
♪ On that you can rely
533
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:48,351
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
534
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:57,958
♪ As time goes by ♪
535
00:28:58,008 --> 00:29:02,558
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