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1
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♪ You must remember this
2
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:13,490
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:16,659
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:22,810
♪ The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:26,449
♪ As time goes by ♪
6
00:00:31,340 --> 00:00:33,092
- Go!
- Come on!
7
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,290
- Nippy, isn't it?
- Just a bit, yes.
8
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:56,690
- You wearing thermals?
- No, I'm not wearing thermals.
9
00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,090
You ought to. "Hello, boys" they're not,
but they do the job.
10
00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:03,450
- Which one's yours?
- That one.
11
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,539
Mmm, dishy.
12
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,975
He's mine. The Neanderthal one.
13
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,293
Oh, he's very... Very...
14
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,098
Neanderthal.
15
00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:19,898
But he's a sweetie.
16
00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,735
(Whistle blowing)
17
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,254
- Ah, all over.
- Thank goodness.
18
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:32,889
Absolutely. Another five minutes
and we'd have lost.
19
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:36,450
Well played, lads, well played.
20
00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:41,818
- Great game, wasn't it?
- Terrific.
21
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:45,131
- I'll see you in the bar.
- Yeah, see you in the bar.
22
00:01:58,260 --> 00:01:59,773
Harry!
23
00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:07,853
(Steve Ryder on TV)The England captain very satisfied,
24
00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,931
but, Gavin Hastings,that score line somewhat cruel...
25
00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:12,739
(Hastings) Cruel, but I thinkthe last half an hour,
26
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:16,176
all the pressure that was buildingthe whole game took its toll.
27
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,251
There's only so much defending...
28
00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:20,410
I love rugby.
29
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,855
(Laughs) The match finished
five minutes ago.
30
00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:24,851
I didn't mean that sort of rugby.
31
00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:28,296
More champagne or shall I explain
to you what a maul is again?
32
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,735
No, I think I got the hang already.
33
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,617
Oi! Except for the tickling.
34
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,656
Well, you're bigger than I am.
35
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,535
Right.
36
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:42,048
- Where are you going?
- To run a shower.
37
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:44,936
It's a post-match tradition.
38
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:53,055
They're good at rucking,good at upsetting the opposition...
39
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:56,177
They just need to be able to controlfor longer periods...
40
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,216
(Jean) Hello!
41
00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:03,213
Oh, who won the rugby?
42
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,211
Yes, it's just finished.
43
00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,169
What?
44
00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:08,739
(Laughs)
45
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,260
- What?
- What do you mean, "It's just finished"?
46
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:15,013
You asked if I watched the rugby,
I said, "It's just finished."
47
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,931
I said, "Who won the rugby?"
48
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,658
Oh.
49
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,298
Oh, we did.
50
00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:23,213
- Oh, who is we?
- Us, England.
51
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,337
This sceptred isle
set in a silver sea, all that.
52
00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:28,331
Oh, good.
53
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:31,571
- Well, don't get too excited.
- Well, it's only a game.
54
00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,218
I hate it when women say that.
55
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,131
Yes! Yes! Yes!
56
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,612
- Is that better?
- A bit excessive, isn't it?
57
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,453
Look, when we lost
to France last season,
58
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:45,249
for a month you wouldn't buy anything
French from Marks & Spencer's.
59
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,695
That was different. That was France.
60
00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:49,418
Who was it today, the Isle of Man?
61
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,060
- Italy, if you must know.
- Thank goodness we won.
62
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,370
We're having pasta tonight.
63
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,213
Sandy's watching Harry
play rugby this afternoon.
64
00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:00,451
Yes, I know. I think a police team
has an unfair advantage.
65
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,371
- Why?
- Well...
66
00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:06,009
Think of the impact as all those pointed
helmets go down in the scrum.
67
00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:09,858
He's so nice. I wish you'd stop
making police jokes.
68
00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:11,134
I don't do it to his face.
69
00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:13,780
Just as well. Your road tax is out of date.
70
00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:15,498
(Laughs)
71
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:17,299
Very funny.
72
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:19,450
Do you want lasagne or cannelloni?
73
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,929
- Yes, that's fine.
- Which?
74
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,818
- Which what?
- Cos really I don't mind.
75
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:28,575
- What don't you mind?
- If we have lasagne or cannelloni.
76
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,857
Why suddenly introduce
lasagne into the conversation?
77
00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:36,411
I didn't suddenly introduce it. I asked
if you'd prefer lasagne or cannelloni,
78
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:39,094
you said, "That's fine."
You did hear what I said?
79
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:42,411
- Of course I heard you.
- So why do you say, "Yes, that's fine"?
80
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,377
- Well, because...
- Yes?
81
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:49,488
I have faith in your culinary skills.
Whatever you cook will be delicious.
82
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,652
As opposed to not having heard
what I said in the first place.
83
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,571
- Yes.
- Hmm.
84
00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,252
What does "Hmm" mean?
85
00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,615
I hope we don't
lose to France this season.
86
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,770
God forbid.
87
00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,695
(Ryder) A verdict on England'sperformance...
88
00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:06,135
(# Romantic classical music)
89
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:12,371
I thought we'd eat in.
Saves getting dressed, doesn't it?
90
00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:15,975
- I love subtlety.
- So do I. What did you have in mind?
91
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,733
Erm, something to eat actually.
92
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:20,572
As you wish.
93
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:24,448
- Oh, what is it about men?
- Hey, modesty forbids.
94
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:27,259
As a general rule,
when a woman says she's hungry
95
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:29,695
the man expects her to cook something.
96
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:32,931
Judy, I have never been the general rule.
97
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,170
So, you're going to cook dinner?
98
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:38,536
I've sent out for something.
There's a very decent local caff.
99
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:42,613
You're right. You never have been
the general rule.
100
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,895
Mm, thanks.
101
00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:47,619
- What were you just thinking about?
- Mm?
102
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,894
Sandy.
103
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:54,610
Not that sort of thought.
Sandy's a mate.
104
00:05:54,700 --> 00:06:00,218
No, I was just thinking that guy-wise
she doesn't seem to have a lot of luck.
105
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,177
What's her new one like?
106
00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:04,376
Harry? He's nice.
107
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,132
He's a policeman.
108
00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:09,018
Where does a girl go with a policeman?
109
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,058
This afternoon she's gone
to see him play rugby.
110
00:06:12,140 --> 00:06:13,892
No, I meant long term.
111
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:17,177
Since when have you
ever thought long term?
112
00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:20,538
A guy gets older, Judy... Even me.
113
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:24,856
Anyway, you shouldn't judge
someone by what they do
114
00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:27,613
or where they live
or how much money they've got.
115
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,292
(Doorbell rings)
116
00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:30,779
No, of course not.
117
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,689
It doesn't hurt though, does it?
118
00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:39,089
This will be dinner.
119
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:44,449
Enrico! Meraviglioso! Come stai?
Va bene.
120
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,420
Enrico, a prince among caff owners.
121
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,492
For you, Signor Deacon,
it's always a pleasure.
122
00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:53,218
- Yeah.
- Avanti, avanti.
123
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,335
Avanti.
124
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:04,728
Some beautiful flowers
for a beautiful lady.
125
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,492
Oh, thank you.
126
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:10,329
No, it doesn't hurt.
127
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:20,928
Hello, I was just gonna make coffee.
Want some?
128
00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,976
Oh, yes, please.
129
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:27,171
- I've been to a rugby match.
- Yes, I did. England won.
130
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:35,654
- Hello, Sandy.
- Oh, there you are.
131
00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:38,732
- What are you doing down there?
- I'm looking for an eye.
132
00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:41,254
- An eye?
- Yes, that chap's.
133
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:44,332
There are only a few pieces left.
There's no eye amongst them.
134
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,092
I think jigsaw manufacturers
135
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:50,378
leave one piece out deliberately
just to drive you crackers.
136
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,132
No, just a tick...
137
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,258
There it is.
138
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,892
I thought that was a flower.
139
00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,414
No, look.
140
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,536
Oh, I need new glasses.
141
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,295
Pardon?
142
00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:06,090
The eye was there. Sandy found it.
143
00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:07,738
You said that was a flower.
144
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,970
Don't be so cocky, you agreed with me.
145
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:12,415
- (Scoffs)
- No, not on the jigsaw!
146
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,616
- I'm not gonna stand here holding it.
- Just push...
147
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,578
- No, it'll break!
- It won't, not if we do it carefully.
148
00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:19,093
The trick is...
149
00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:21,171
Oh, oh! Sandy!
150
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,332
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Can I put this down now?
151
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,658
If you'd just brought the mugs
in the first place...
152
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,459
- What?
- Never mind.
153
00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:35,852
So, where did you and Harry
go this afternoon?
154
00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:39,410
I watched him play rugby. I told you.
155
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,092
- When?
- When I came in.
156
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,932
So you did, of course you did.
157
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,575
- Who were they playing?
- I don't know.
158
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:50,130
- Another lot of policemen.
- Did the referee make any arrests?
159
00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:52,176
- Lionel!
- Sorry.
160
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,170
I watched Lionel play rugby once.
161
00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,615
Of course it was
a square ball in those days.
162
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,018
I don't even like rugby.
163
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:04,172
Nor did I, but you have to watch
when your chap's playing.
164
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,249
Apparently.
165
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,214
You must have had a nice meal
after the match.
166
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,575
Baked beans and sausages
in the club bar.
167
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,413
Ooh! I could go that now.
168
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,491
- I'm not cooking it.
- Neither am I.
169
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:20,050
It was just a thought. I don't think
we've got any baked beans anyway.
170
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,815
I mean, Harry loves sport,
I do know that.
171
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,653
But it's all we do.
172
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:30,130
Either I watch him play sport
or we watch somebody else play sport.
173
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:32,051
What, no sport of your own?
174
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:34,654
Unless you count
stumbling around on an ice rink
175
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,492
and getting a sore behind.
176
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:40,175
It might be worth a look.
We might have some somewhere.
177
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:43,539
Baked beans!
178
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,453
I'd hardly gone into any spicy details.
179
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,770
- Had I?
- Are there any spicy details?
180
00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:50,259
None.
181
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,854
I sat with the girls,
that's what they call us,
182
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,692
while the chaps stood at the bar,
183
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:59,092
sang rugby songs and did silly tricks
with pints of beer.
184
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,296
Oh, whatever happened to romance?
185
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,098
It is still around.
186
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:06,217
Yes, I know. Look at you and Lionel.
187
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,733
- Us?
- Yes.
188
00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:11,096
Lionel's still very romantic at heart.
189
00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:13,535
He still says romantic things.
190
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:16,339
Typical. We did have
some baked beans after all,
191
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,411
but there isn't a sausage in the house!
192
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,333
(Jean and Sandy laugh)
193
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,058
Well, what... what's funny?
194
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,529
We were just saying romance isn't dead.
195
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,259
- Who's dead?
- (Shouts) No, nobody's dead!
196
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:31,415
We're just saying
romance isn't dead!
197
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,650
There's no need to shout. I'm not deaf!
198
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:37,770
- There you go, sir.
- Thank you very much.
199
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:39,054
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
200
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,856
(Man) Thinking of buying?
201
00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:00,979
They're really very good.
Very good indeed.
202
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:04,689
Mine's developed
a high-pitched whistle
203
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,010
but I'm sure they'll sort it out.
204
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,619
- Li?
- Yes.
205
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,810
- Going deaf?
- Yes.
206
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:24,330
- Li?
- No, Beethoven.
207
00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:28,095
I'm sorry, just that
it's a major thing to take in.
208
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,729
I mean, Li is
my main man, my best mate.
209
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:34,015
He might not accept the term, but he is.
210
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,169
You are sure?
211
00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:37,216
Yes, it's been going on for weeks now.
212
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,256
Lots of "Pardons?" and "What's?",
213
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:42,935
all irritable and if you're over ten feet
away he can't hear you at all.
214
00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:45,250
Has my lovely lady Jean
noticed anything?
215
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,730
You can't miss it,
but she hasn't said anything to him.
216
00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:50,572
Somebody's got to say something.
217
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,173
Yeah...
218
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,211
Like his best mate?
219
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,774
It's a horrible expression, isn't it?
220
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,693
- "Losing one's faculties."
- I didn't say that.
221
00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:08,932
I know. It's just a horrible expression.
I just wish that Lionel would own up.
222
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:13,411
If he doesn't, we're all going to have to
start talking very loudly, aren't we?
223
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,252
Lionel's very fond of you, Sandy.
224
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:18,093
Ah, and I'm very... Oh, no!
225
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,136
No, no! He really is very fond of you.
226
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,051
He won't be if I tell him, will he?
227
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:23,653
He's very fond of Judy too.
228
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:25,935
Yes, but he loves you.
229
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,056
I know, but what do I say?
230
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:30,859
- Use your diplomatic skills.
- What skills?
231
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,773
Those that come with age...
maturity.
232
00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:36,454
- And wisdom.
- Mine haven't arrived yet.
233
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,373
- Nemesis!
- You'll stay?
234
00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,178
- Have I ever let you down?
- No.
235
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,773
- There's always a first time.
- Sandy!
236
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,611
- Hello, Lionel.
- What's the hurry?
237
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,292
Cowardice.
238
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:50,058
Did she say cowardice?
239
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,017
- Yes.
- What's she talking about?
240
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,091
Cowardice, I suppose.
241
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:56,819
- (Lionel) Why?
- Just making conversation.
242
00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:01,052
I don't know why I bother asking
questions in this house sometimes.
243
00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:02,858
Oh, I got some sausages.
244
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,453
That's nice.
245
00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:07,816
- You haven't looked at them yet.
- No, I said, "That's nice."
246
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:08,855
Oh.
247
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,538
Lionel, I think you're getting a bit deaf.
248
00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,179
Pardon?
249
00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:19,379
- Shall we sit down?
- Yes, all right.
250
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:23,455
- He makes them himself.
- Who does?
251
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,338
- The butcher, the sausages.
- Oh.
252
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:28,775
- Erm...
- Have you got something to say to me?
253
00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:31,249
- Yes, I have.
- Go on, then.
254
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:33,729
The thing is, that eye,
255
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:36,380
I really did think it was a flower.
256
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:41,772
(Loudly) I think I might need
a stronger prescription for my glasses.
257
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:43,452
Oh, I see.
258
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:46,373
I mean, it's common sense.
There's no shame attached.
259
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:49,611
- Of course not.
- No. Opticians are there, aren't they?
260
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,897
They make glasses.
Well, I don't know that they make them,
261
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,211
but they prescribe lenses for frames
made by somebody else,
262
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,098
and if there is a deterioration
in one's eyesight,
263
00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:01,933
then they prescribe different lenses.
264
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,897
There's nothing wrong in that.
265
00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:07,529
No, it's a flawless description
of an optician's job.
266
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,737
There's nothing wrong
in my wanting to go to an optician.
267
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,050
- Of course not.
- I'm facing up to the facts.
268
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,290
- (Doorbell rings)
- That's the doorbell.
269
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,052
- I'll get it.
- I haven't finished.
270
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,256
Let me take in the first bit first.
271
00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:24,730
- (Doorbell ringing)
- What happened to patience?
272
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:27,774
- Hello.
- Hi, Li!
273
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:31,091
- Sorry. I forgot my key.
- That's all right. Hello, Alistair.
274
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:33,136
Li, could we have a word?
275
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:36,417
Yes, if we must. Come through.
276
00:14:39,820 --> 00:14:41,697
Is Mum in the kitchen?
277
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,332
Sit down, Alistair.
278
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,018
(Mouths)
279
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,778
Thanks.
280
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:53,533
Well? This word?
281
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,418
Oh. Right.
282
00:14:57,180 --> 00:15:00,058
First of all, Li, I love you.
283
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:04,379
I do wish you wouldn't
say things like that.
284
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,573
(Loudly) OK, but it's said
and it was meant.
285
00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:11,458
Is there something
wrong with your mouth?
286
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,450
No. Why?
287
00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:18,969
Because when you talk, your jaw
wobbles, and you're shouting as well.
288
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:22,094
- Am I?
- Mmm.
289
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:25,331
Sorry. Is that better?
290
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,650
Yes, that's fine.
291
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,856
But we are sitting quite close together.
292
00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:33,171
As long as we don't sit
unnaturally close, I don't mind.
293
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,171
OK. Good.
294
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:39,210
Right, here goes.
295
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,975
Li, I am aware of a problem.
296
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,897
You've noticed then?
297
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:48,256
I can't say I have because I haven't been
around too much lately,
298
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:51,571
but Judy has and she tells me
that Sandy has too.
299
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,730
She's worried about her eyes.
300
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,013
- Who, Sandy?
- No, Jean!
301
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,456
- Is she?
- You said you were aware of a problem.
302
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,929
- I know I did.
- Well, that is the problem!
303
00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:07,092
Jean is worried about her eyesight.
304
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:10,976
Did you hear what I said?
305
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:15,488
- Yes.
- It only struck me this morning.
306
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:17,377
She's worried about her eyesight.
307
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:20,975
I mean, she says a "slight" change
in prescription,
308
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:24,735
but I'm sure she's worried
that it's more serious than that.
309
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,173
Li, I'm so sorry.
310
00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:29,570
Thank you, but let's not
get it out of proportion.
311
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,855
I love Jean dearly,
but she is a worrier,
312
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,774
and the chances are that a slight change
in prescription is all she needs.
313
00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,976
Let's hope so.
314
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,778
Excuse me.
315
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:45,569
- Who are you phoning?
- A guy I know.
316
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,298
- Hi, Guy.
- Hi, who's that?
317
00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:50,938
It's Alistair.
318
00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,772
Comment ça va? Ah, tres bien.
319
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,215
Listen, Guy, I know it's Sunday
320
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,768
but I wonder if you
could do me a little favour.
321
00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:00,090
This is very noble of Alistair.
322
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:02,648
Lionel's not going to kill him, is he?
323
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:06,210
It's gone very quiet.
Perhaps he's done it already.
324
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:09,610
- He will break it gently, won't he?
- Of course he will.
325
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,498
You know Alistair's
really a very caring person.
326
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,013
How did you get on?
327
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,295
I might not tell you, running off like that.
328
00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:18,450
Oh, go on and I'll finish off the ironing.
329
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:21,134
Well, there's actually nothing to tell.
330
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:24,815
I was getting round to it
and Alistair arrived, thank goodness.
331
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:29,257
- That only postpones the inevitable.
- No, he's breaking the news to Lionel.
332
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,252
Brave man. Shh!
333
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:35,298
Jean, might we have
a word with you, please?
334
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,129
You don't have to go.
335
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:46,178
No, Li. We've had our guy-to-guy thing.
336
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,057
Now it's a guy-to-girl thing.
337
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:52,213
When you've wagged chins,
come across the road, I'll buy you a half.
338
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,416
- Ciao!
- I'll see you later.
339
00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,292
How did it go?
340
00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:01,577
Well, he thought it was
a personal matter, I suppose.
341
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,094
No, I said, "How did it go?"
342
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:07,252
Oh, very well indeed.
343
00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:09,570
Oh, good.
344
00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:11,139
And you're all right?
345
00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,810
Yes, I'm fine.
346
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,137
Why didn't you tell me?
347
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,290
I was trying to lead up to it.
348
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:19,972
Yes, I realise that,
349
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:23,450
but all that babble in the kitchen
about eye tests and lenses.
350
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,371
It's a difficult subject to broach.
351
00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:27,052
Yes, I suppose it is.
352
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:31,258
Despite the babble, I realised what
you were talking about as I let Alistair in.
353
00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:35,299
- I'm glad you talked it over with him.
- He can listen when he wants to.
354
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,610
There's no shame in any of this.
355
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,692
No! I don't know
why you keep using the word.
356
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,533
The important thing is,
what's the next step?
357
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,099
- It's been taken.
- Oh?
358
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:48,968
That's another thing about Alistair,
he always knows the right people.
359
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,370
Anyway, he's arranged
an appointment for tomorrow morning
360
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,371
with one of the top men in the field.
361
00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:57,179
Oh, that is a relief.
362
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,615
(Both) An appointment
which has to be kept.
363
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,099
Absolutely.
364
00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:04,898
I think we can both
draw a lesson from this.
365
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,971
If something like this comes up again,
366
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:11,338
we can save ourselves a lot of worry
if we just come straight to the point
367
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,058
and don't go round the houses.
368
00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:16,496
- It would certainly make life simpler.
- It certainly would.
369
00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:20,251
I think I'll pop over and have
that swift half with Alistair now.
370
00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,058
Off you go, then.
371
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:23,619
- Lionel?
- Mm?
372
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,293
I'm only going to the pub.
373
00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,052
I'm just proud of you, that's all.
374
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:31,212
- You wouldn't expect me to do nothing?
- No.
375
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:34,736
Don't worry, Alistair assures me
that this guy... man,
376
00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:40,292
is one of the top eye specialists in
the land. You couldn't be in better hands.
377
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,211
How did it go?
378
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,019
I think you could say,
"Not exactly as planned."
379
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:52,615
Lionel hasn't backed out
of having his ears tested?
380
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,533
No, he's arranged for me
to have my eyes tested.
381
00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:00,294
You know, something
just occurred to me.
382
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,257
What's that?
383
00:20:02,340 --> 00:20:05,616
When you came in with Judy,
you said you wanted a word with me,
384
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:10,137
then I introduced the subject of
Jean's eyesight and we talked about that.
385
00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:13,815
What I'm saying is that you never got
around to having your word.
386
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,609
Ah. No one else has
brought the subject up then?
387
00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:21,613
Why do I find myself
becoming suspicious?
388
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:24,692
- Not angry?
- I don't know yet.
389
00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,614
Come on, spit it out. What is it
you want to say to me?
390
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:31,260
Judy and I had
a little talk this morning.
391
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:33,251
Oh? Where did you go?
392
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,614
No, not a little walk...
393
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,692
a little talk.
394
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:39,691
And?
395
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,978
Li, Judy is worried
you might be getting a bit deaf.
396
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,372
What?
397
00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,257
- I said...
- I heard what you said!
398
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:52,650
I've never heard so much
nonsense in all my life!
399
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:56,130
Next Saturday will be better,
with the club dance after the match.
400
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:59,257
Assuming the chaps dance
with the girls and not each other.
401
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,535
- (Phone)
- Oh!
402
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,450
- (Ringing stops)
- Oh.
403
00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:08,053
Judy must have taken it.
404
00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:12,497
We had a rugby club dance once,
I think it was called a ball in those days.
405
00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:14,775
- Lionel wouldn't take me.
- That was mean.
406
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:16,373
No, he was being protective.
407
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:19,896
Why would he need to be protective
about a rugby club dance?
408
00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:22,892
Well, he said they tended
to get a bit boisterous.
409
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,698
That doesn't bode well, does it?
410
00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:26,930
- I expect things have changed.
- Really?
411
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,534
I think we might be needing this.
412
00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:33,329
That was Alistair on the phone.
He finally got around to telling Lionel.
413
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:37,379
- And he's just stormed out of the pub.
- Oh!
414
00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:39,576
Look, come on, he's not violent, is he?
415
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,458
- Not so far, no.
- Look, you two go.
416
00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:44,656
No point three of us getting bashed up.
417
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:47,698
No, we'll stay. Have you never heard
of girl power?
418
00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:49,850
In our days it was called flirting.
419
00:21:49,940 --> 00:21:50,975
(Door slams)
420
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,416
He doesn't sound
in a very flirty mood.
421
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:55,933
Hello, Lionel.
422
00:22:02,060 --> 00:22:04,255
D'you know what that fool
in the pub told me?
423
00:22:04,340 --> 00:22:08,219
- (All) No.
- You do! You're all in on it, aren't you?
424
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,452
Let me tell you. I am not a boy!
425
00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,371
- Nobody said...
- May I finish?
426
00:22:13,460 --> 00:22:16,258
And because I am not a boy,
427
00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:18,729
my knees crack if I stand up too quickly,
428
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:21,618
I have been known to doze off
in front of the television
429
00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:25,454
and, believe it or not, I admit to missing
the odd word in a conversation.
430
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:28,293
But I am not ready
for an ear trumpet yet!
431
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:31,611
- Have you finished?
- For the moment, yes.
432
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:34,009
Firstly, no one mentioned
an ear trumpet.
433
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,568
Secondly, you are
not missing the odd word,
434
00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,697
you are missing more
and more words all the time.
435
00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,089
- Rubbish!
- No, Mum's right, Lionel.
436
00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:45,536
When I asked you if Mum was
in the kitchen you didn't even answer.
437
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,576
That's because I didn't know.
438
00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,810
What about when I came in last night?
439
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:53,449
I said, "I've been to a rugby match"
and you said, "I did. England won."
440
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,974
- Well, they did.
- Oh, really!
441
00:22:56,060 --> 00:22:59,894
Look, before we start
"Oh, really-ing," consider this.
442
00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:03,939
I think that all three of you have got
unnaturally soft voices.
443
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:05,533
- (Laughs)
- For God's sake.
444
00:23:05,620 --> 00:23:07,099
Yes, you have.
445
00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:11,575
It's a wonder I hear anything at all
with you whispering all the time!
446
00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:13,571
- Oh, really!
- You're doing it again.
447
00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:17,369
- Well, really!
- How about when you're watching telly?
448
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:19,291
You have the sound up full blast.
449
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:23,339
It's the BBC's fault. The sound level's
never the same between programmes.
450
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:26,332
(Jean) Stop making silly excuses
and face up to facts.
451
00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:28,570
You make it sound like an accusation.
452
00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:31,254
We all care about you
and we want to help.
453
00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:33,934
You can't turn a blind eye
to your hearing.
454
00:23:34,020 --> 00:23:35,658
Is that a mixed metaphor?
455
00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:39,535
I know what it is.
You know and I know.
456
00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:42,939
- Consider this.
- (Groans)
457
00:23:43,020 --> 00:23:46,854
Consider this.
If I'm supposed to be getting deaf,
458
00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:49,090
why, despite your soft voices,
459
00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:51,853
have I heard every
word that you've said?
460
00:23:51,940 --> 00:23:56,775
It could because not one of us
is more than four feet away!
461
00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:59,328
Exactly! Judy, stand over there.
462
00:23:59,420 --> 00:24:00,933
Sandy, stand over here!
463
00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:03,090
- Oh, really!
- Don't you start.
464
00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,534
- Now Judy, say something.
- Say what?
465
00:24:06,620 --> 00:24:08,292
I don't know, anything!
466
00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:12,539
(Whispers) I think it might
rain this afternoon.
467
00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:15,970
- All right, I didn't hear it.
- Nor did I.
468
00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:21,376
- This afternoon?
- I think it might rain this afternoon.
469
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,416
Normally. I didn't ask you to whisper.
470
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:26,492
- I think it might rain...
- No, you already said that!
471
00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,059
Get Sandy to say something.
472
00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:31,496
Erm... why do rugby club dances
get boisterous?
473
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,291
Well?
474
00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:37,291
Something about oysters?
475
00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:40,288
Boisterous!
476
00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:42,689
- She whispered as well!
- I did not.
477
00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:44,418
I heard every word she said.
478
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,730
- Oysters!
- Oh, very well, then.
479
00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:50,415
- You sit there. Just sit down there!
- All right, all right.
480
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,695
Now, no glasses.
481
00:24:52,780 --> 00:24:55,931
Now, what card am I holding up?
482
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,053
I don't know, it's facing you.
483
00:25:00,140 --> 00:25:03,132
Sorry. Right, go on then.
484
00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:04,573
Er...
485
00:25:04,660 --> 00:25:06,855
the eight of...
486
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,338
Right! This one!
487
00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:11,729
- Queen of hearts.
- Wrong! The king of hearts.
488
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:13,731
But she did get the right suit.
489
00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:16,493
Right. Which is clearer,
the black or the red?
490
00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:19,253
- Oh, this is absurd!
- Of course it's absurd.
491
00:25:19,340 --> 00:25:22,093
You don't test hearing
by whispering in a corner
492
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:25,695
any more than you test someone's
eyesight by waving playing cards!
493
00:25:25,780 --> 00:25:28,419
Which is why,
although I didn't volunteer for it,
494
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:33,096
I shall keep my appointment
with the eye specialist in the morning.
495
00:25:33,180 --> 00:25:36,092
Now come on, Lionel, see sense.
496
00:25:37,860 --> 00:25:39,816
I'm not having an ear trumpet!
497
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:44,131
No, really, love, it's fine.
498
00:25:44,220 --> 00:25:46,939
It's just a minor alteration
to the prescription.
499
00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:50,171
- (Judy) Where's Lionel?
- Lionel? No, he's still out.
500
00:25:50,260 --> 00:25:55,015
If he didn't get his hearing tested I shall
really shout at him when he gets home.
501
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:59,059
That's right, yes. Whispering
at him would be better.
502
00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:02,894
Well, I'll see you and Sandy tonight.
Right, bye.
503
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,018
(Door slams)
504
00:26:07,540 --> 00:26:09,132
Oh!
505
00:26:12,820 --> 00:26:14,538
- Hello.
- Hello.
506
00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:18,730
Why are you chopping one carrot?
507
00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:22,290
- Well, I just thought I would.
- Oh.
508
00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:25,690
- How did it go?
- Oh! How did it go for you?
509
00:26:25,780 --> 00:26:28,374
Fine, apart from paying his fee.
510
00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:30,815
Just a minor alteration
to the prescription.
511
00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:33,812
- Otherwise, my eyesight's fine.
- Good.
512
00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,333
So is my hearing.
513
00:26:35,420 --> 00:26:37,172
You did have your ears tested?
514
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:40,252
Yes. There was a small
problem, but it's fixed.
515
00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:42,570
Oh, thank goodness.
516
00:26:50,420 --> 00:26:52,456
It's remarkable, isn't it?
517
00:26:52,540 --> 00:26:53,893
You can't see it at all.
518
00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:56,050
- See what?
- Your hearing aid.
519
00:26:56,140 --> 00:26:59,450
- I'm not wearing a hearing aid.
- What was the small problem?
520
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:02,289
Wax.
521
00:27:02,380 --> 00:27:03,972
A build-up of wax in the ears.
522
00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:06,699
I had it syringed,
now everything's fine.
523
00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:09,010
- Did it hurt?
- No.
524
00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:13,218
A bit like having a head full of water,
but it worked, that's all that matters.
525
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,450
- I was worried.
- Yes, I know.
526
00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:18,418
I'm sorry I wasn't
my usual grown-up self about it.
527
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:20,809
- Was there a lot of wax?
- Quite a lot.
528
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:24,256
- They gave it to me as a souvenir.
- Ugghh! Oh! Oh!
529
00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,619
And I got some more of
those nice sausages as well.
530
00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:33,890
- They're in here.
- Oh!
531
00:27:33,980 --> 00:27:36,540
Oh, Li... Oh, Lionel!
532
00:27:41,580 --> 00:27:44,333
♪ You must remember this
533
00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:46,934
♪ A kiss is still a kiss
534
00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:50,171
♪ A sigh is just a sigh
535
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:56,009
♪ The fundamental things apply
536
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,809
♪ As time goes by
537
00:28:03,140 --> 00:28:05,973
♪ And when two lovers woo
538
00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:08,654
♪ They still say I love you
539
00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:11,573
♪ On that you can rely
540
00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:18,418
♪ The world will always welcome lovers
541
00:28:19,980 --> 00:28:28,376
♪ As time goes by ♪
542
00:28:28,426 --> 00:28:32,976
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