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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,570 ♪ You must remember this 2 00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:13,490 ♪ A kiss is still a kiss 3 00:00:13,940 --> 00:00:16,659 ♪ A sigh is just a sigh 4 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:22,810 ♪ The fundamental things apply 5 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:26,449 ♪ As time goes by ♪ 6 00:00:31,340 --> 00:00:33,092 - Go! - Come on! 7 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,290 - Nippy, isn't it? - Just a bit, yes. 8 00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:56,690 - You wearing thermals? - No, I'm not wearing thermals. 9 00:00:56,780 --> 00:01:00,090 You ought to. "Hello, boys" they're not, but they do the job. 10 00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:03,450 - Which one's yours? - That one. 11 00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:08,539 Mmm, dishy. 12 00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,975 He's mine. The Neanderthal one. 13 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,293 Oh, he's very... Very... 14 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,098 Neanderthal. 15 00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:19,898 But he's a sweetie. 16 00:01:24,540 --> 00:01:26,735 (Whistle blowing) 17 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,254 - Ah, all over. - Thank goodness. 18 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:32,889 Absolutely. Another five minutes and we'd have lost. 19 00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:36,450 Well played, lads, well played. 20 00:01:38,940 --> 00:01:41,818 - Great game, wasn't it? - Terrific. 21 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:45,131 - I'll see you in the bar. - Yeah, see you in the bar. 22 00:01:58,260 --> 00:01:59,773 Harry! 23 00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:07,853 (Steve Ryder on TV) The England captain very satisfied, 24 00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,931 but, Gavin Hastings, that score line somewhat cruel... 25 00:02:10,020 --> 00:02:12,739 (Hastings) Cruel, but I think the last half an hour, 26 00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:16,176 all the pressure that was building the whole game took its toll. 27 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,251 There's only so much defending... 28 00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:20,410 I love rugby. 29 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,855 (Laughs) The match finished five minutes ago. 30 00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:24,851 I didn't mean that sort of rugby. 31 00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:28,296 More champagne or shall I explain to you what a maul is again? 32 00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,735 No, I think I got the hang already. 33 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,617 Oi! Except for the tickling. 34 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,656 Well, you're bigger than I am. 35 00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,535 Right. 36 00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:42,048 - Where are you going? - To run a shower. 37 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:44,936 It's a post-match tradition. 38 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:53,055 They're good at rucking, good at upsetting the opposition... 39 00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:56,177 They just need to be able to control for longer periods... 40 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,216 (Jean) Hello! 41 00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:03,213 Oh, who won the rugby? 42 00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,211 Yes, it's just finished. 43 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,169 What? 44 00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:08,739 (Laughs) 45 00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:12,260 - What? - What do you mean, "It's just finished"? 46 00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:15,013 You asked if I watched the rugby, I said, "It's just finished." 47 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,931 I said, "Who won the rugby?" 48 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,658 Oh. 49 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,298 Oh, we did. 50 00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:23,213 - Oh, who is we? - Us, England. 51 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:26,337 This sceptred isle set in a silver sea, all that. 52 00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:28,331 Oh, good. 53 00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:31,571 - Well, don't get too excited. - Well, it's only a game. 54 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,218 I hate it when women say that. 55 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,131 Yes! Yes! Yes! 56 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,612 - Is that better? - A bit excessive, isn't it? 57 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,453 Look, when we lost to France last season, 58 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:45,249 for a month you wouldn't buy anything French from Marks & Spencer's. 59 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,695 That was different. That was France. 60 00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:49,418 Who was it today, the Isle of Man? 61 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:52,060 - Italy, if you must know. - Thank goodness we won. 62 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,370 We're having pasta tonight. 63 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,213 Sandy's watching Harry play rugby this afternoon. 64 00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:00,451 Yes, I know. I think a police team has an unfair advantage. 65 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,371 - Why? - Well... 66 00:04:02,460 --> 00:04:06,009 Think of the impact as all those pointed helmets go down in the scrum. 67 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:09,858 He's so nice. I wish you'd stop making police jokes. 68 00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:11,134 I don't do it to his face. 69 00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:13,780 Just as well. Your road tax is out of date. 70 00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:15,498 (Laughs) 71 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:17,299 Very funny. 72 00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:19,450 Do you want lasagne or cannelloni? 73 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,929 - Yes, that's fine. - Which? 74 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,818 - Which what? - Cos really I don't mind. 75 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:28,575 - What don't you mind? - If we have lasagne or cannelloni. 76 00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,857 Why suddenly introduce lasagne into the conversation? 77 00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:36,411 I didn't suddenly introduce it. I asked if you'd prefer lasagne or cannelloni, 78 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:39,094 you said, "That's fine." You did hear what I said? 79 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:42,411 - Of course I heard you. - So why do you say, "Yes, that's fine"? 80 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,377 - Well, because... - Yes? 81 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:49,488 I have faith in your culinary skills. Whatever you cook will be delicious. 82 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,652 As opposed to not having heard what I said in the first place. 83 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,571 - Yes. - Hmm. 84 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,252 What does "Hmm" mean? 85 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,615 I hope we don't lose to France this season. 86 00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,770 God forbid. 87 00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,695 (Ryder) A verdict on England's performance... 88 00:05:03,780 --> 00:05:06,135 (# Romantic classical music) 89 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:12,371 I thought we'd eat in. Saves getting dressed, doesn't it? 90 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:15,975 - I love subtlety. - So do I. What did you have in mind? 91 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,733 Erm, something to eat actually. 92 00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:20,572 As you wish. 93 00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:24,448 - Oh, what is it about men? - Hey, modesty forbids. 94 00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:27,259 As a general rule, when a woman says she's hungry 95 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:29,695 the man expects her to cook something. 96 00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:32,931 Judy, I have never been the general rule. 97 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,170 So, you're going to cook dinner? 98 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:38,536 I've sent out for something. There's a very decent local caff. 99 00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:42,613 You're right. You never have been the general rule. 100 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,895 Mm, thanks. 101 00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:47,619 - What were you just thinking about? - Mm? 102 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,894 Sandy. 103 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:54,610 Not that sort of thought. Sandy's a mate. 104 00:05:54,700 --> 00:06:00,218 No, I was just thinking that guy-wise she doesn't seem to have a lot of luck. 105 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,177 What's her new one like? 106 00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:04,376 Harry? He's nice. 107 00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,132 He's a policeman. 108 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:09,018 Where does a girl go with a policeman? 109 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,058 This afternoon she's gone to see him play rugby. 110 00:06:12,140 --> 00:06:13,892 No, I meant long term. 111 00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:17,177 Since when have you ever thought long term? 112 00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:20,538 A guy gets older, Judy... Even me. 113 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:24,856 Anyway, you shouldn't judge someone by what they do 114 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:27,613 or where they live or how much money they've got. 115 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,292 (Doorbell rings) 116 00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:30,779 No, of course not. 117 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,689 It doesn't hurt though, does it? 118 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:39,089 This will be dinner. 119 00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:44,449 Enrico! Meraviglioso! Come stai? Va bene. 120 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,420 Enrico, a prince among caff owners. 121 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,492 For you, Signor Deacon, it's always a pleasure. 122 00:06:51,580 --> 00:06:53,218 - Yeah. - Avanti, avanti. 123 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:54,335 Avanti. 124 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:04,728 Some beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. 125 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,492 Oh, thank you. 126 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:10,329 No, it doesn't hurt. 127 00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:20,928 Hello, I was just gonna make coffee. Want some? 128 00:07:21,020 --> 00:07:22,976 Oh, yes, please. 129 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:27,171 - I've been to a rugby match. - Yes, I did. England won. 130 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:35,654 - Hello, Sandy. - Oh, there you are. 131 00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:38,732 - What are you doing down there? - I'm looking for an eye. 132 00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:41,254 - An eye? - Yes, that chap's. 133 00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:44,332 There are only a few pieces left. There's no eye amongst them. 134 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,092 I think jigsaw manufacturers 135 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:50,378 leave one piece out deliberately just to drive you crackers. 136 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,132 No, just a tick... 137 00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,258 There it is. 138 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,892 I thought that was a flower. 139 00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,414 No, look. 140 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,536 Oh, I need new glasses. 141 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,295 Pardon? 142 00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:06,090 The eye was there. Sandy found it. 143 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:07,738 You said that was a flower. 144 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,970 Don't be so cocky, you agreed with me. 145 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:12,415 - (Scoffs) - No, not on the jigsaw! 146 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,616 - I'm not gonna stand here holding it. - Just push... 147 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,578 - No, it'll break! - It won't, not if we do it carefully. 148 00:08:17,660 --> 00:08:19,093 The trick is... 149 00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:21,171 Oh, oh! Sandy! 150 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,332 - Oh, I'm sorry. - Can I put this down now? 151 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,658 If you'd just brought the mugs in the first place... 152 00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,459 - What? - Never mind. 153 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:35,852 So, where did you and Harry go this afternoon? 154 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:39,410 I watched him play rugby. I told you. 155 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,092 - When? - When I came in. 156 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,932 So you did, of course you did. 157 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,575 - Who were they playing? - I don't know. 158 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:50,130 - Another lot of policemen. - Did the referee make any arrests? 159 00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:52,176 - Lionel! - Sorry. 160 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,170 I watched Lionel play rugby once. 161 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:57,615 Of course it was a square ball in those days. 162 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:01,018 I don't even like rugby. 163 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:04,172 Nor did I, but you have to watch when your chap's playing. 164 00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,249 Apparently. 165 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,214 You must have had a nice meal after the match. 166 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,575 Baked beans and sausages in the club bar. 167 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,413 Ooh! I could go that now. 168 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,491 - I'm not cooking it. - Neither am I. 169 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:20,050 It was just a thought. I don't think we've got any baked beans anyway. 170 00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:23,815 I mean, Harry loves sport, I do know that. 171 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,653 But it's all we do. 172 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:30,130 Either I watch him play sport or we watch somebody else play sport. 173 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:32,051 What, no sport of your own? 174 00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:34,654 Unless you count stumbling around on an ice rink 175 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,492 and getting a sore behind. 176 00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:40,175 It might be worth a look. We might have some somewhere. 177 00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:43,539 Baked beans! 178 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:46,453 I'd hardly gone into any spicy details. 179 00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,770 - Had I? - Are there any spicy details? 180 00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:50,259 None. 181 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,854 I sat with the girls, that's what they call us, 182 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,692 while the chaps stood at the bar, 183 00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:59,092 sang rugby songs and did silly tricks with pints of beer. 184 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,296 Oh, whatever happened to romance? 185 00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,098 It is still around. 186 00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:06,217 Yes, I know. Look at you and Lionel. 187 00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,733 - Us? - Yes. 188 00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:11,096 Lionel's still very romantic at heart. 189 00:10:11,180 --> 00:10:13,535 He still says romantic things. 190 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:16,339 Typical. We did have some baked beans after all, 191 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,411 but there isn't a sausage in the house! 192 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,333 (Jean and Sandy laugh) 193 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,058 Well, what... what's funny? 194 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,529 We were just saying romance isn't dead. 195 00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,259 - Who's dead? - (Shouts) No, nobody's dead! 196 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:31,415 We're just saying romance isn't dead! 197 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,650 There's no need to shout. I'm not deaf! 198 00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:37,770 - There you go, sir. - Thank you very much. 199 00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:39,054 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 200 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,856 (Man) Thinking of buying? 201 00:10:56,940 --> 00:11:00,979 They're really very good. Very good indeed. 202 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:04,689 Mine's developed a high-pitched whistle 203 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,010 but I'm sure they'll sort it out. 204 00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,619 - Li? - Yes. 205 00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:19,810 - Going deaf? - Yes. 206 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:24,330 - Li? - No, Beethoven. 207 00:11:24,420 --> 00:11:28,095 I'm sorry, just that it's a major thing to take in. 208 00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,729 I mean, Li is my main man, my best mate. 209 00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:34,015 He might not accept the term, but he is. 210 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,169 You are sure? 211 00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:37,216 Yes, it's been going on for weeks now. 212 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,256 Lots of "Pardons?" and "What's?", 213 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:42,935 all irritable and if you're over ten feet away he can't hear you at all. 214 00:11:43,020 --> 00:11:45,250 Has my lovely lady Jean noticed anything? 215 00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:48,730 You can't miss it, but she hasn't said anything to him. 216 00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:50,572 Somebody's got to say something. 217 00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,173 Yeah... 218 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,211 Like his best mate? 219 00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,774 It's a horrible expression, isn't it? 220 00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:04,693 - "Losing one's faculties." - I didn't say that. 221 00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:08,932 I know. It's just a horrible expression. I just wish that Lionel would own up. 222 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:13,411 If he doesn't, we're all going to have to start talking very loudly, aren't we? 223 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,252 Lionel's very fond of you, Sandy. 224 00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:18,093 Ah, and I'm very... Oh, no! 225 00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,136 No, no! He really is very fond of you. 226 00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,051 He won't be if I tell him, will he? 227 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:23,653 He's very fond of Judy too. 228 00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:25,935 Yes, but he loves you. 229 00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,056 I know, but what do I say? 230 00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:30,859 - Use your diplomatic skills. - What skills? 231 00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:33,773 Those that come with age... maturity. 232 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:36,454 - And wisdom. - Mine haven't arrived yet. 233 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:39,373 - Nemesis! - You'll stay? 234 00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,178 - Have I ever let you down? - No. 235 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,773 - There's always a first time. - Sandy! 236 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,611 - Hello, Lionel. - What's the hurry? 237 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:47,292 Cowardice. 238 00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:50,058 Did she say cowardice? 239 00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:52,017 - Yes. - What's she talking about? 240 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,091 Cowardice, I suppose. 241 00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:56,819 - (Lionel) Why? - Just making conversation. 242 00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:01,052 I don't know why I bother asking questions in this house sometimes. 243 00:13:01,140 --> 00:13:02,858 Oh, I got some sausages. 244 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,453 That's nice. 245 00:13:04,540 --> 00:13:07,816 - You haven't looked at them yet. - No, I said, "That's nice." 246 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:08,855 Oh. 247 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:12,538 Lionel, I think you're getting a bit deaf. 248 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:15,179 Pardon? 249 00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:19,379 - Shall we sit down? - Yes, all right. 250 00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:23,455 - He makes them himself. - Who does? 251 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,338 - The butcher, the sausages. - Oh. 252 00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:28,775 - Erm... - Have you got something to say to me? 253 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:31,249 - Yes, I have. - Go on, then. 254 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:33,729 The thing is, that eye, 255 00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:36,380 I really did think it was a flower. 256 00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:41,772 (Loudly) I think I might need a stronger prescription for my glasses. 257 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:43,452 Oh, I see. 258 00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:46,373 I mean, it's common sense. There's no shame attached. 259 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:49,611 - Of course not. - No. Opticians are there, aren't they? 260 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,897 They make glasses. Well, I don't know that they make them, 261 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,211 but they prescribe lenses for frames made by somebody else, 262 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:59,098 and if there is a deterioration in one's eyesight, 263 00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:01,933 then they prescribe different lenses. 264 00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:03,897 There's nothing wrong in that. 265 00:14:03,980 --> 00:14:07,529 No, it's a flawless description of an optician's job. 266 00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:10,737 There's nothing wrong in my wanting to go to an optician. 267 00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,050 - Of course not. - I'm facing up to the facts. 268 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,290 - (Doorbell rings) - That's the doorbell. 269 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,052 - I'll get it. - I haven't finished. 270 00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,256 Let me take in the first bit first. 271 00:14:21,340 --> 00:14:24,730 - (Doorbell ringing) - What happened to patience? 272 00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:27,774 - Hello. - Hi, Li! 273 00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:31,091 - Sorry. I forgot my key. - That's all right. Hello, Alistair. 274 00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:33,136 Li, could we have a word? 275 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:36,417 Yes, if we must. Come through. 276 00:14:39,820 --> 00:14:41,697 Is Mum in the kitchen? 277 00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,332 Sit down, Alistair. 278 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,018 (Mouths) 279 00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,778 Thanks. 280 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:53,533 Well? This word? 281 00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,418 Oh. Right. 282 00:14:57,180 --> 00:15:00,058 First of all, Li, I love you. 283 00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:04,379 I do wish you wouldn't say things like that. 284 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,573 (Loudly) OK, but it's said and it was meant. 285 00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:11,458 Is there something wrong with your mouth? 286 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,450 No. Why? 287 00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:18,969 Because when you talk, your jaw wobbles, and you're shouting as well. 288 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:22,094 - Am I? - Mmm. 289 00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:25,331 Sorry. Is that better? 290 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,650 Yes, that's fine. 291 00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,856 But we are sitting quite close together. 292 00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:33,171 As long as we don't sit unnaturally close, I don't mind. 293 00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,171 OK. Good. 294 00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:39,210 Right, here goes. 295 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,975 Li, I am aware of a problem. 296 00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,897 You've noticed then? 297 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:48,256 I can't say I have because I haven't been around too much lately, 298 00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:51,571 but Judy has and she tells me that Sandy has too. 299 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,730 She's worried about her eyes. 300 00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,013 - Who, Sandy? - No, Jean! 301 00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,456 - Is she? - You said you were aware of a problem. 302 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,929 - I know I did. - Well, that is the problem! 303 00:16:04,020 --> 00:16:07,092 Jean is worried about her eyesight. 304 00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:10,976 Did you hear what I said? 305 00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:15,488 - Yes. - It only struck me this morning. 306 00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:17,377 She's worried about her eyesight. 307 00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:20,975 I mean, she says a "slight" change in prescription, 308 00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:24,735 but I'm sure she's worried that it's more serious than that. 309 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:26,173 Li, I'm so sorry. 310 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:29,570 Thank you, but let's not get it out of proportion. 311 00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,855 I love Jean dearly, but she is a worrier, 312 00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,774 and the chances are that a slight change in prescription is all she needs. 313 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,976 Let's hope so. 314 00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,778 Excuse me. 315 00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:45,569 - Who are you phoning? - A guy I know. 316 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,298 - Hi, Guy. - Hi, who's that? 317 00:16:49,380 --> 00:16:50,938 It's Alistair. 318 00:16:51,020 --> 00:16:52,772 Comment ça va? Ah, tres bien. 319 00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,215 Listen, Guy, I know it's Sunday 320 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,768 but I wonder if you could do me a little favour. 321 00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:00,090 This is very noble of Alistair. 322 00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:02,648 Lionel's not going to kill him, is he? 323 00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:06,210 It's gone very quiet. Perhaps he's done it already. 324 00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:09,610 - He will break it gently, won't he? - Of course he will. 325 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,498 You know Alistair's really a very caring person. 326 00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,013 How did you get on? 327 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,295 I might not tell you, running off like that. 328 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:18,450 Oh, go on and I'll finish off the ironing. 329 00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:21,134 Well, there's actually nothing to tell. 330 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:24,815 I was getting round to it and Alistair arrived, thank goodness. 331 00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:29,257 - That only postpones the inevitable. - No, he's breaking the news to Lionel. 332 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,252 Brave man. Shh! 333 00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:35,298 Jean, might we have a word with you, please? 334 00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:43,129 You don't have to go. 335 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:46,178 No, Li. We've had our guy-to-guy thing. 336 00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:48,057 Now it's a guy-to-girl thing. 337 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:52,213 When you've wagged chins, come across the road, I'll buy you a half. 338 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:54,416 - Ciao! - I'll see you later. 339 00:17:56,620 --> 00:17:58,292 How did it go? 340 00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:01,577 Well, he thought it was a personal matter, I suppose. 341 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,094 No, I said, "How did it go?" 342 00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:07,252 Oh, very well indeed. 343 00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:09,570 Oh, good. 344 00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:11,139 And you're all right? 345 00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,810 Yes, I'm fine. 346 00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,137 Why didn't you tell me? 347 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:18,290 I was trying to lead up to it. 348 00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:19,972 Yes, I realise that, 349 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:23,450 but all that babble in the kitchen about eye tests and lenses. 350 00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,371 It's a difficult subject to broach. 351 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:27,052 Yes, I suppose it is. 352 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:31,258 Despite the babble, I realised what you were talking about as I let Alistair in. 353 00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:35,299 - I'm glad you talked it over with him. - He can listen when he wants to. 354 00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,610 There's no shame in any of this. 355 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,692 No! I don't know why you keep using the word. 356 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,533 The important thing is, what's the next step? 357 00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,099 - It's been taken. - Oh? 358 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:48,968 That's another thing about Alistair, he always knows the right people. 359 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,370 Anyway, he's arranged an appointment for tomorrow morning 360 00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,371 with one of the top men in the field. 361 00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:57,179 Oh, that is a relief. 362 00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,615 (Both) An appointment which has to be kept. 363 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,099 Absolutely. 364 00:19:02,020 --> 00:19:04,898 I think we can both draw a lesson from this. 365 00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:06,971 If something like this comes up again, 366 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:11,338 we can save ourselves a lot of worry if we just come straight to the point 367 00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,058 and don't go round the houses. 368 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:16,496 - It would certainly make life simpler. - It certainly would. 369 00:19:17,020 --> 00:19:20,251 I think I'll pop over and have that swift half with Alistair now. 370 00:19:20,340 --> 00:19:22,058 Off you go, then. 371 00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:23,619 - Lionel? - Mm? 372 00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,293 I'm only going to the pub. 373 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,052 I'm just proud of you, that's all. 374 00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:31,212 - You wouldn't expect me to do nothing? - No. 375 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:34,736 Don't worry, Alistair assures me that this guy... man, 376 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:40,292 is one of the top eye specialists in the land. You couldn't be in better hands. 377 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,211 How did it go? 378 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,019 I think you could say, "Not exactly as planned." 379 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:52,615 Lionel hasn't backed out of having his ears tested? 380 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:55,533 No, he's arranged for me to have my eyes tested. 381 00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:00,294 You know, something just occurred to me. 382 00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,257 What's that? 383 00:20:02,340 --> 00:20:05,616 When you came in with Judy, you said you wanted a word with me, 384 00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:10,137 then I introduced the subject of Jean's eyesight and we talked about that. 385 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:13,815 What I'm saying is that you never got around to having your word. 386 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,609 Ah. No one else has brought the subject up then? 387 00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:21,613 Why do I find myself becoming suspicious? 388 00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:24,692 - Not angry? - I don't know yet. 389 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,614 Come on, spit it out. What is it you want to say to me? 390 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:31,260 Judy and I had a little talk this morning. 391 00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:33,251 Oh? Where did you go? 392 00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,614 No, not a little walk... 393 00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,692 a little talk. 394 00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:39,691 And? 395 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,978 Li, Judy is worried you might be getting a bit deaf. 396 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,372 What? 397 00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,257 - I said... - I heard what you said! 398 00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:52,650 I've never heard so much nonsense in all my life! 399 00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:56,130 Next Saturday will be better, with the club dance after the match. 400 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:59,257 Assuming the chaps dance with the girls and not each other. 401 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,535 - (Phone) - Oh! 402 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,450 - (Ringing stops) - Oh. 403 00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:08,053 Judy must have taken it. 404 00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:12,497 We had a rugby club dance once, I think it was called a ball in those days. 405 00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:14,775 - Lionel wouldn't take me. - That was mean. 406 00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:16,373 No, he was being protective. 407 00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:19,896 Why would he need to be protective about a rugby club dance? 408 00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:22,892 Well, he said they tended to get a bit boisterous. 409 00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,698 That doesn't bode well, does it? 410 00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:26,930 - I expect things have changed. - Really? 411 00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,534 I think we might be needing this. 412 00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:33,329 That was Alistair on the phone. He finally got around to telling Lionel. 413 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:37,379 - And he's just stormed out of the pub. - Oh! 414 00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:39,576 Look, come on, he's not violent, is he? 415 00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,458 - Not so far, no. - Look, you two go. 416 00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:44,656 No point three of us getting bashed up. 417 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:47,698 No, we'll stay. Have you never heard of girl power? 418 00:21:47,780 --> 00:21:49,850 In our days it was called flirting. 419 00:21:49,940 --> 00:21:50,975 (Door slams) 420 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:54,416 He doesn't sound in a very flirty mood. 421 00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:55,933 Hello, Lionel. 422 00:22:02,060 --> 00:22:04,255 D'you know what that fool in the pub told me? 423 00:22:04,340 --> 00:22:08,219 - (All) No. - You do! You're all in on it, aren't you? 424 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,452 Let me tell you. I am not a boy! 425 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,371 - Nobody said... - May I finish? 426 00:22:13,460 --> 00:22:16,258 And because I am not a boy, 427 00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:18,729 my knees crack if I stand up too quickly, 428 00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:21,618 I have been known to doze off in front of the television 429 00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:25,454 and, believe it or not, I admit to missing the odd word in a conversation. 430 00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:28,293 But I am not ready for an ear trumpet yet! 431 00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:31,611 - Have you finished? - For the moment, yes. 432 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:34,009 Firstly, no one mentioned an ear trumpet. 433 00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,568 Secondly, you are not missing the odd word, 434 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,697 you are missing more and more words all the time. 435 00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:42,089 - Rubbish! - No, Mum's right, Lionel. 436 00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:45,536 When I asked you if Mum was in the kitchen you didn't even answer. 437 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:47,576 That's because I didn't know. 438 00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,810 What about when I came in last night? 439 00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:53,449 I said, "I've been to a rugby match" and you said, "I did. England won." 440 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,974 - Well, they did. - Oh, really! 441 00:22:56,060 --> 00:22:59,894 Look, before we start "Oh, really-ing," consider this. 442 00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:03,939 I think that all three of you have got unnaturally soft voices. 443 00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:05,533 - (Laughs) - For God's sake. 444 00:23:05,620 --> 00:23:07,099 Yes, you have. 445 00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:11,575 It's a wonder I hear anything at all with you whispering all the time! 446 00:23:11,660 --> 00:23:13,571 - Oh, really! - You're doing it again. 447 00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:17,369 - Well, really! - How about when you're watching telly? 448 00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:19,291 You have the sound up full blast. 449 00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:23,339 It's the BBC's fault. The sound level's never the same between programmes. 450 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:26,332 (Jean) Stop making silly excuses and face up to facts. 451 00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:28,570 You make it sound like an accusation. 452 00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:31,254 We all care about you and we want to help. 453 00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:33,934 You can't turn a blind eye to your hearing. 454 00:23:34,020 --> 00:23:35,658 Is that a mixed metaphor? 455 00:23:37,340 --> 00:23:39,535 I know what it is. You know and I know. 456 00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:42,939 - Consider this. - (Groans) 457 00:23:43,020 --> 00:23:46,854 Consider this. If I'm supposed to be getting deaf, 458 00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:49,090 why, despite your soft voices, 459 00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:51,853 have I heard every word that you've said? 460 00:23:51,940 --> 00:23:56,775 It could because not one of us is more than four feet away! 461 00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:59,328 Exactly! Judy, stand over there. 462 00:23:59,420 --> 00:24:00,933 Sandy, stand over here! 463 00:24:01,020 --> 00:24:03,090 - Oh, really! - Don't you start. 464 00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,534 - Now Judy, say something. - Say what? 465 00:24:06,620 --> 00:24:08,292 I don't know, anything! 466 00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:12,539 (Whispers) I think it might rain this afternoon. 467 00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:15,970 - All right, I didn't hear it. - Nor did I. 468 00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:21,376 - This afternoon? - I think it might rain this afternoon. 469 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,416 Normally. I didn't ask you to whisper. 470 00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:26,492 - I think it might rain... - No, you already said that! 471 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:28,059 Get Sandy to say something. 472 00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:31,496 Erm... why do rugby club dances get boisterous? 473 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,291 Well? 474 00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:37,291 Something about oysters? 475 00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:40,288 Boisterous! 476 00:24:40,380 --> 00:24:42,689 - She whispered as well! - I did not. 477 00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:44,418 I heard every word she said. 478 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,730 - Oysters! - Oh, very well, then. 479 00:24:46,820 --> 00:24:50,415 - You sit there. Just sit down there! - All right, all right. 480 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,695 Now, no glasses. 481 00:24:52,780 --> 00:24:55,931 Now, what card am I holding up? 482 00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,053 I don't know, it's facing you. 483 00:25:00,140 --> 00:25:03,132 Sorry. Right, go on then. 484 00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:04,573 Er... 485 00:25:04,660 --> 00:25:06,855 the eight of... 486 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,338 Right! This one! 487 00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:11,729 - Queen of hearts. - Wrong! The king of hearts. 488 00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:13,731 But she did get the right suit. 489 00:25:13,820 --> 00:25:16,493 Right. Which is clearer, the black or the red? 490 00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:19,253 - Oh, this is absurd! - Of course it's absurd. 491 00:25:19,340 --> 00:25:22,093 You don't test hearing by whispering in a corner 492 00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:25,695 any more than you test someone's eyesight by waving playing cards! 493 00:25:25,780 --> 00:25:28,419 Which is why, although I didn't volunteer for it, 494 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:33,096 I shall keep my appointment with the eye specialist in the morning. 495 00:25:33,180 --> 00:25:36,092 Now come on, Lionel, see sense. 496 00:25:37,860 --> 00:25:39,816 I'm not having an ear trumpet! 497 00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:44,131 No, really, love, it's fine. 498 00:25:44,220 --> 00:25:46,939 It's just a minor alteration to the prescription. 499 00:25:47,020 --> 00:25:50,171 - (Judy) Where's Lionel? - Lionel? No, he's still out. 500 00:25:50,260 --> 00:25:55,015 If he didn't get his hearing tested I shall really shout at him when he gets home. 501 00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:59,059 That's right, yes. Whispering at him would be better. 502 00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:02,894 Well, I'll see you and Sandy tonight. Right, bye. 503 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,018 (Door slams) 504 00:26:07,540 --> 00:26:09,132 Oh! 505 00:26:12,820 --> 00:26:14,538 - Hello. - Hello. 506 00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:18,730 Why are you chopping one carrot? 507 00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:22,290 - Well, I just thought I would. - Oh. 508 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:25,690 - How did it go? - Oh! How did it go for you? 509 00:26:25,780 --> 00:26:28,374 Fine, apart from paying his fee. 510 00:26:28,460 --> 00:26:30,815 Just a minor alteration to the prescription. 511 00:26:30,900 --> 00:26:33,812 - Otherwise, my eyesight's fine. - Good. 512 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,333 So is my hearing. 513 00:26:35,420 --> 00:26:37,172 You did have your ears tested? 514 00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:40,252 Yes. There was a small problem, but it's fixed. 515 00:26:40,340 --> 00:26:42,570 Oh, thank goodness. 516 00:26:50,420 --> 00:26:52,456 It's remarkable, isn't it? 517 00:26:52,540 --> 00:26:53,893 You can't see it at all. 518 00:26:53,980 --> 00:26:56,050 - See what? - Your hearing aid. 519 00:26:56,140 --> 00:26:59,450 - I'm not wearing a hearing aid. - What was the small problem? 520 00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:02,289 Wax. 521 00:27:02,380 --> 00:27:03,972 A build-up of wax in the ears. 522 00:27:04,060 --> 00:27:06,699 I had it syringed, now everything's fine. 523 00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:09,010 - Did it hurt? - No. 524 00:27:09,100 --> 00:27:13,218 A bit like having a head full of water, but it worked, that's all that matters. 525 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,450 - I was worried. - Yes, I know. 526 00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:18,418 I'm sorry I wasn't my usual grown-up self about it. 527 00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:20,809 - Was there a lot of wax? - Quite a lot. 528 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:24,256 - They gave it to me as a souvenir. - Ugghh! Oh! Oh! 529 00:27:26,740 --> 00:27:30,619 And I got some more of those nice sausages as well. 530 00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:33,890 - They're in here. - Oh! 531 00:27:33,980 --> 00:27:36,540 Oh, Li... Oh, Lionel! 532 00:27:41,580 --> 00:27:44,333 ♪ You must remember this 533 00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:46,934 ♪ A kiss is still a kiss 534 00:27:47,020 --> 00:27:50,171 ♪ A sigh is just a sigh 535 00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:56,009 ♪ The fundamental things apply 536 00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,809 ♪ As time goes by 537 00:28:03,140 --> 00:28:05,973 ♪ And when two lovers woo 538 00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:08,654 ♪ They still say I love you 539 00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:11,573 ♪ On that you can rely 540 00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:18,418 ♪ The world will always welcome lovers 541 00:28:19,980 --> 00:28:28,376 ♪ As time goes by ♪ 542 00:28:28,426 --> 00:28:32,976 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41941

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