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1
00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:04,085
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,887
Well, where the hell
is this guy?
3
00:00:06,922 --> 00:00:08,623
He said he'd be here
in 15 minutes.
4
00:00:08,657 --> 00:00:09,824
It's been nearly 20.
5
00:00:09,825 --> 00:00:11,460
Doesn't he realize
this is an emergency?
6
00:00:11,461 --> 00:00:13,762
Hey, calm down, will you Norm?
He'll be here.
7
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,963
Well, it's a hell
of a world we live in, Sam.
8
00:00:15,998 --> 00:00:17,799
We can put a man
on the moon okay,
9
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,734
but we can't get a beer tap
repairman here
10
00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:21,169
in a reasonable amount of time.
11
00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:22,937
Norm, sit down!
12
00:00:22,972 --> 00:00:24,956
Just relax.
13
00:00:24,957 --> 00:00:27,175
Why, why don't you have a,
have a bottle of beer?
14
00:00:27,176 --> 00:00:29,577
Yeah, right, a bottle.
15
00:00:31,113 --> 00:00:34,081
It's just not the same, Sam.
16
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:37,536
Well, I'm sure Mr. Clavin would
let you have some of his beer.
17
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,286
Well, I'm afraid not, Woody.
18
00:00:39,287 --> 00:00:42,890
No, no, you see, we,
we knew that the taps
19
00:00:42,891 --> 00:00:45,059
were gonna be out
of service for a while,
20
00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:46,528
Sam made an announcement.
21
00:00:46,562 --> 00:00:50,465
So I took a moment to figure out
that if I take just a little sip
22
00:00:50,499 --> 00:00:51,733
every now and again,
23
00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:54,636
it would last until the
repairman fixes yon tap.
24
00:00:54,670 --> 00:00:55,937
But, when I suggested
25
00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:59,257
the strategy to Mr. Peterson,
26
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,160
he called me... well, what was
it you called me again, Norm?
27
00:01:02,211 --> 00:01:03,495
Bozo.
28
00:01:03,529 --> 00:01:04,796
Right.
29
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:07,048
I'm a bozo.
30
00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:10,352
I'm, uh, gonna go to
the men's room now, okay.
31
00:01:10,353 --> 00:01:11,569
Excuse me.
32
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,772
Oh, right, and you're gonna
take your beer with you?
33
00:01:13,773 --> 00:01:15,840
Come on, Cliff.
34
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:17,608
We've been friends
for 15 years.
35
00:01:17,643 --> 00:01:18,994
I'm so pathetic,
36
00:01:19,028 --> 00:01:22,697
you think I'm gonna steal
my best friend's beer, huh?
37
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:25,166
Yeah, you're right, Normie.
38
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,250
I trust you.
39
00:01:34,143 --> 00:01:35,911
Bozo.
40
00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:40,548
(theme song begins)
41
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,519
♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪
42
00:01:44,553 --> 00:01:48,989
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
43
00:01:50,292 --> 00:01:54,395
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
44
00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:57,064
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
45
00:01:57,099 --> 00:01:59,767
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
46
00:01:59,801 --> 00:02:04,071
♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name ♪
47
00:02:25,127 --> 00:02:27,695
Yo, someone call for
a beer tap repair?
48
00:02:27,697 --> 00:02:28,980
Yeah...
About an hour ago!
49
00:02:28,981 --> 00:02:30,314
Hey, hey, Norm...
Where in the hell have you been?
50
00:02:30,315 --> 00:02:31,683
Hey, hey, sit!
Whoops.
51
00:02:31,717 --> 00:02:32,984
Sit!
52
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,635
Excuse me.
53
00:02:34,669 --> 00:02:36,771
Yeah, right over here.
54
00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:39,006
Hi.
55
00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:40,642
My name is Carla.
56
00:02:40,644 --> 00:02:42,460
Hi. Don.
Yeah, I know,
57
00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:44,278
I read it off your left pec.
58
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,698
If you, uh,
59
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,151
have anything else
written on your body,
60
00:02:50,152 --> 00:02:52,087
I'm looking for
something to read in bed.
61
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,272
Will you let the man
do his job please, Carla?
62
00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:57,392
I know Braille.
63
00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:59,561
No, no, no, go on.
64
00:02:59,562 --> 00:03:03,648
Oh, hey, look who's back
from vacation.- Miss Howe!
65
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:05,550
Hi, Rebecca. How
was your cruise?
66
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:07,802
Well, I can honestly say
that it was the most painful,
67
00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:09,971
excruciating, depressing
experience of my life.
68
00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,405
There was not one single
69
00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:13,157
eligible bachelor
on that whole trip.
70
00:03:13,158 --> 00:03:14,558
You know what?
71
00:03:14,559 --> 00:03:16,594
The very first day
I stepped on a poison blowfish,
72
00:03:16,595 --> 00:03:19,130
my leg swelled up like
a bloated corpse.
73
00:03:19,131 --> 00:03:21,784
A bloated corpse without
unsightly stubble I hope.
74
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,835
Oh shut up, Cliff.
75
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,069
FRASIER:
Oh, say, Rebecca,
76
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,603
maybe I misunderstood
you earlier.
77
00:03:25,604 --> 00:03:29,323
I thought the purpose of your
trip wasn't to snare a husband.
78
00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:30,792
Well, of course it wasn't.
79
00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:32,360
Why'd you go?
80
00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:34,862
Woody, I was very clear about
why I went before I left.
81
00:03:34,863 --> 00:03:36,130
Don't you remember?
82
00:03:36,165 --> 00:03:37,699
No.
83
00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:39,668
I said that I went
to find myself,
84
00:03:39,669 --> 00:03:41,235
to look myself
square in the eye
85
00:03:41,236 --> 00:03:43,371
and find out who I really
was, yada, yada, yada.
86
00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:46,240
Oh, yeah. I remember
the yada, yada, yada part.
87
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:48,426
Half way through the trip,
88
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:50,662
I realized something-
that my life is doo-doo.
89
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:51,996
WOODY:
Please, Miss Howe.
90
00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:54,348
You may have used that
kind of language at sea,
91
00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:56,818
but we're not in the
boiler rooms among sailors.
92
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,187
You know, the problem is
that I'm always looking
93
00:03:59,188 --> 00:04:00,188
for some, for some
94
00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:02,891
rich, powerful man,
but not anymore.
95
00:04:02,925 --> 00:04:04,759
Now I want a sweet,
honest guy...
96
00:04:04,794 --> 00:04:05,894
excuse me...
97
00:04:05,928 --> 00:04:07,996
you know,
a nice, hard-working,
98
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:10,431
decent kind of fellow,
with a great smile...
99
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,984
Excuse me.
100
00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:15,320
But I mean, where are you
gonna find a guy like that?
101
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,555
It's not like they just
pop up out of thin air.
102
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:22,260
Hey, lady, your
problem's solved.
103
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,595
Good. Bill me.
104
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,163
I'm talking to my friends here.
105
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:26,765
Thank you so much, Don.
106
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:28,667
If only we lived in a culture
107
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,991
where men could kiss
other men without shame.
108
00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:35,106
Uh, excuse me.
109
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,974
Uh, I'm Don.
110
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:39,577
I'm happy for you, Don.
111
00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:44,148
You know, I'm really sorry
about your vacation
112
00:04:44,182 --> 00:04:46,584
and, uh, while I was
working down there,
113
00:04:46,585 --> 00:04:49,454
I couldn't help but notice how
nicely your leg has recovered.
114
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,122
Anyway, I was wondering
115
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:53,992
if, uh, maybe you'd
want to go out
116
00:04:54,026 --> 00:04:57,395
and have a cup of coffee,
maybe a movie, something.
117
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,330
(laughing)
118
00:04:59,364 --> 00:05:00,731
Excuse me.
119
00:05:00,766 --> 00:05:02,667
Aren't you a plumber?
120
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,988
Well, a service technician.
121
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,674
Oh, can you ever forgive me?
122
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:15,262
Rebecca, excuse me
for interrupting,
123
00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:16,898
but may I ask you a question?
124
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,566
Do you listen to yourself?
125
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:19,634
Well, sometimes.
126
00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:20,968
All right, not two minutes ago,
127
00:05:20,969 --> 00:05:22,871
you announced to the bar that
you were opening yourself up
128
00:05:22,872 --> 00:05:24,272
to men from any walk of life.
129
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,707
Now, that man seems
attractive, decent,
130
00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:29,210
and most of all,
interested in you.
131
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,678
You're lonely, desperate,
132
00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:32,413
and if the bloom isn't
off the rose just yet,
133
00:05:32,414 --> 00:05:34,749
you can certainly hear
pruning shears approaching.
134
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:38,670
He is kind of cute, isn't he?
135
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,138
Actually, he's just
what I was describing.
136
00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,439
Can you belie... Is that
just like me or what?
137
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,941
It's like, I'm
just standing here
138
00:05:43,942 --> 00:05:45,992
blathering on and on
and on and on and on,
139
00:05:45,993 --> 00:05:47,212
while opportunity
is just passing
140
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:48,662
me by- it's like
life is a parade.
141
00:05:48,663 --> 00:05:49,983
Rebecca! Rebecca, fetch!
142
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,934
Oh, sorry, yoo-hoo,
Mr. Burley Working Type Guy,
143
00:05:52,968 --> 00:05:54,268
Hold up a second.
144
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:06,964
I had a great time.
145
00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:08,599
So did I.
146
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:18,826
I'll see you
tonight at 7:00? 7:00.
147
00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:20,828
And, uh, oh, I almost forgot.
148
00:06:20,863 --> 00:06:23,097
I, I, I got a little
something for you,
149
00:06:23,131 --> 00:06:24,832
um, just so you
wouldn't be late.
150
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,050
What is it?
151
00:06:26,084 --> 00:06:27,318
(gasps)
152
00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,420
Don!
153
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:32,257
Oh, what a beautiful
antique watch!
154
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,259
Yeah.
Oh, I can't accept this, Don.
155
00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:35,627
It's much too expensive.
156
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,118
No, no, I want you to have it.
157
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,579
It was my mother's.
158
00:06:38,597 --> 00:06:40,815
Oh, when did she die?
159
00:06:40,816 --> 00:06:41,783
She didn't.
160
00:06:41,784 --> 00:06:43,484
She just dozes off a lot.
161
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,169
(both laughing)
162
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:46,737
Oh, Don, you're so goofy!
163
00:06:46,772 --> 00:06:48,922
REBECCA:
And this is so sweet.
164
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,676
No, Rebecca, nothing's
too good for you.
165
00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,479
Maybe you are.
166
00:06:57,116 --> 00:07:01,418
Look at her,
throwing herself at him.
167
00:07:01,453 --> 00:07:02,954
No class.
168
00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:04,455
No class at all.
169
00:07:08,126 --> 00:07:11,228
I just went on a
service call with Don.
170
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:17,552
He was unplugging a drain.
171
00:07:17,586 --> 00:07:22,256
We got to... we got to... we got
to eat out of his lunch pail,
172
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:25,960
and then I got to hand him his
tools out of his tool belt.
173
00:07:25,994 --> 00:07:30,130
He wears a tool belt?
174
00:07:30,165 --> 00:07:34,334
Oh, man, why don't you
just spit on my grave.
175
00:07:34,336 --> 00:07:37,321
Well, it's nice seeing you
guys have fun like that.
176
00:07:37,355 --> 00:07:38,639
Oh, yeah.
177
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,725
And you know what's
different about Don?
178
00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:43,494
It's like I'm not always
thinking about my next move.
179
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:46,547
You know, the less I work at it,
the better it seems to get.
180
00:07:46,581 --> 00:07:50,184
So I'm just gonna take
it nice and easy, nice and slow,
181
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,886
you know, one step at a time,
182
00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:54,121
I'm not gonna fall
too hard or too fast.
183
00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:56,390
God, I love him!
184
00:07:57,476 --> 00:08:01,195
I love him so much!
185
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:05,065
Do you know what I'm saying?
186
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,336
(falsetto):
Yes, you love him! Yes!
187
00:08:09,855 --> 00:08:12,589
There's even talk of marriage.
188
00:08:12,608 --> 00:08:14,275
Marriage?!
REBECCA: Yeah.
189
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,777
He, he talked about marriage?
190
00:08:15,778 --> 00:08:18,479
Well, he says it with his eyes.
191
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:22,016
And you know what, I, I
just have to say that
192
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:24,351
if, if he did ask me
to marry him right now,
193
00:08:24,386 --> 00:08:26,387
I think that I would
have to say yes.
194
00:08:26,389 --> 00:08:29,674
Honey, don't...
195
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,610
You want to step into my
office just for a second? Sure, Sam.
196
00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:34,211
Looky! Looky! Looky! Looky!
197
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:41,318
You know the idea
of romantic love
198
00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:45,557
is a relatively
new phenomenon. Yeah.
199
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:49,360
In olden cultures, wives
were no more than chattel.
200
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,647
They'd parade the women
through the marketplace
201
00:08:52,681 --> 00:08:56,584
dressed in nothing but flimsy,
tight-fitting animal skins
202
00:08:56,618 --> 00:08:59,654
with their breasts heaving
and undulating in the...
203
00:08:59,655 --> 00:09:01,539
Cliff, I don't want to hear
anymore of this, okay?
204
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:04,124
Anybody who wants to hear
the rest of the story,
205
00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:06,089
uh, follow me in the pool room,
please.
206
00:09:10,833 --> 00:09:13,067
Go ahead, Paul.
You know you want to.
207
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,639
I think you're
rushing into this.
208
00:09:18,674 --> 00:09:20,808
You know, I mean,
it's been two weeks.
209
00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:22,643
What do you know about the guy?
210
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:25,113
I know he's good, he's decent,
211
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:28,349
and he thinks that I'm the best
thing that ever happened to him.
212
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,734
He said that?
213
00:09:29,768 --> 00:09:32,970
He says it with his eyes.
214
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,389
Does this guy's eyes
shut up long enough
215
00:09:35,424 --> 00:09:37,792
for his mouth
to ever say anything?
216
00:09:37,826 --> 00:09:41,228
Now, Sam, I appreciate
this but I'm a big girl.
217
00:09:41,262 --> 00:09:43,230
And you know what?
218
00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:44,682
I think I'm gonna go for it.
219
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,284
All right, okay, but
you're settling.
220
00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:48,720
Settling?
221
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,954
No way.
222
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,138
Honey, come on.
223
00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:53,641
Look, you've had bad luck
with men all your life.
224
00:09:53,642 --> 00:09:55,210
You're afraid you're never
gonna get married,
225
00:09:55,211 --> 00:09:57,095
so you're latching
onto the first guy
226
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,430
that gives you the time of day.
227
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,099
That is absolutely,
categorically not true!
228
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,334
Yes, it is.
229
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,036
So what?
230
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:07,571
Is it not better
231
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,690
that I settle and I have someone
232
00:10:09,691 --> 00:10:10,958
than stick to my high standards
233
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:13,160
and have no one
and end up an old maid?
234
00:10:13,228 --> 00:10:15,863
Honey, that smells
of desperation.
235
00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:18,366
You don't... you
don't need that.
236
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,835
You deserve the
greatest guy in the world.
237
00:10:21,870 --> 00:10:25,173
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I don't believe I'm about to say this.
238
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,574
Sit down, sit down.
239
00:10:26,608 --> 00:10:32,680
Listen, I've been doing a...
doing a lot of thinking recently
240
00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:38,519
about marriage and
settling down and stuff.
241
00:10:38,587 --> 00:10:40,855
Yeah?
242
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,890
(chuckles)
243
00:10:42,891 --> 00:10:45,059
I can't believe this-
my hands are sweating.
244
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:47,027
Come on, Sam, go on
with what you were saying.
245
00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:52,299
Oh... I, I just think
that... you and I...
246
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:55,168
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
wait a minute.
247
00:10:55,169 --> 00:10:57,638
You're not saying what I think
you're saying, are you?
248
00:10:57,639 --> 00:11:00,574
You know, I think there's a
chance for you and me if...
249
00:11:00,609 --> 00:11:03,210
If, if what?
250
00:11:03,244 --> 00:11:06,046
All right, all right,
here goes...
251
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,500
If, in the next
couple of years,
252
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,302
the right woman
doesn't come along,
253
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:13,571
you're on the top of
a very short list.
254
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:20,128
I know, I can't believe
I'm saying this, either!
255
00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:25,683
God, this is incredible.
256
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:28,452
This... y-you are saying that
257
00:11:28,486 --> 00:11:32,523
you will marry me if someone
better doesn't come along?
258
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,625
Is it mind-blowing or what?
259
00:11:37,896 --> 00:11:39,747
Oh, just wait, just one second.
260
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,083
I-I-I just want to be
crystal clear on this.
261
00:11:42,117 --> 00:11:48,039
Y-You, you sort of, look at me
like your safety net?
262
00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:50,691
Okay...
263
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:54,428
You stupid jackass!
264
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,013
What?
How...? What, what?!
265
00:11:56,081 --> 00:11:58,148
How can you be so insensitive?
266
00:11:58,149 --> 00:11:59,667
Oh, oh, now,
now, wait a second.
267
00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:01,936
Listen, all right, maybe the
words didn't come out right,
268
00:12:01,937 --> 00:12:04,404
but all I'm saying is
that you don't have to
269
00:12:04,439 --> 00:12:06,941
settle for this...
this plumber.
270
00:12:06,975 --> 00:12:08,058
Settle? Me?!
271
00:12:08,059 --> 00:12:09,877
Wait a minute, I will
tell you something!
272
00:12:09,878 --> 00:12:11,411
The woman that
marries you will be
273
00:12:11,412 --> 00:12:14,214
the all-time
four-star settler.
274
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,817
What's that
supposed to mean? What does it mean?
275
00:12:16,852 --> 00:12:19,187
Take a look at yourself.
Look at you, I mean,
276
00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:21,189
the only thing you ever
think about is sex.
277
00:12:21,190 --> 00:12:23,257
You think you're going to
make some woman feel special
278
00:12:23,258 --> 00:12:24,592
just because she's
just another notch
279
00:12:24,593 --> 00:12:26,894
in your sliver of a headboard?
280
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:30,697
Sam, I mean wise up!
281
00:12:30,732 --> 00:12:33,133
Do you ever hear women
talk about you anymore?
282
00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:35,669
You're a cliché.
You are pathetic!
283
00:12:35,670 --> 00:12:37,471
Women talk about you
out there and they,
284
00:12:37,472 --> 00:12:39,342
they laugh at you
like you're a joke!
285
00:12:41,877 --> 00:12:44,811
I have work to do.
286
00:12:46,581 --> 00:12:48,582
God, Sam, I'm-I'm sorry.
287
00:12:48,616 --> 00:12:51,018
I didn't mean to
hurt your feelings.
288
00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:53,487
I-I-I think that I just
was upset because you were
289
00:12:53,488 --> 00:12:56,423
just so inconsiderate and I...
290
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:05,516
So, the, uh, part
about me being a joke.
291
00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,152
You were just making up
that stuff, right?
292
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:12,339
Oh, yeah, 'cause, you know, you
hurt me, so I wanted to hurt you
293
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:16,977
and... no, I mean, in fact,
you would, you would make
294
00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:20,614
any woman a real good husband.
295
00:13:20,648 --> 00:13:22,583
You're a catch.
296
00:13:25,087 --> 00:13:26,687
Oh, yeah, that's better.
297
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:39,000
Have you noticed that,
uh, someone in this bar
298
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:41,536
is getting a little looney?
299
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,504
Sam...
300
00:13:43,505 --> 00:13:45,655
everyone in this bar
is on a connecting flight
301
00:13:45,656 --> 00:13:47,391
to beyond looney.
302
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,527
Yeah, I'm talking
about Rebecca.
303
00:13:50,528 --> 00:13:51,746
You know, I'm a little
worried about her.
304
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,964
Well, how so?
Well...
305
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,667
She made up this
weird story about how
306
00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:59,337
no one would want to
marry me because, you know,
307
00:13:59,371 --> 00:14:01,405
I've had a lot of
women in my day.
308
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,741
What exactly do you
find weird about that?
309
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:07,077
Don't say you agree with her?
310
00:14:07,079 --> 00:14:08,745
Well, she has a point, Sam.
311
00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:12,449
Having a prolific sexual past
can be very intimidating
312
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:15,319
and even unattractive
to a potential mate.
313
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:18,222
Well, you're as crazy
as she is, Frasier!
314
00:14:18,223 --> 00:14:20,157
Come on, man, you know,
the woman I choose
315
00:14:20,158 --> 00:14:21,892
is going to feel very special.
316
00:14:21,926 --> 00:14:26,129
You know, like when a great chef
picks the perfect pork chop?
317
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:27,982
That's beautiful, Sam.
318
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:32,069
But listen, if this is
really bothering you...
319
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,170
I didn't say it
was bothering me.
320
00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:34,771
Well, all right, okay, okay.
321
00:14:34,806 --> 00:14:39,076
But if it does bother you, you're
perfectly capable of making a change.
322
00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:42,279
You can reinvent Sam Malone.
323
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,298
You know, this could be
a turning point for you in your life.
324
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:46,450
Listen, I'm going to write
down the number of a man.
325
00:14:46,451 --> 00:14:51,388
His name is Dr. Robert Sutton.
326
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:56,427
And he has a therapy group
for sexual compulsives.
327
00:14:56,461 --> 00:14:58,362
Well, what are-
what are you saying?
328
00:14:58,396 --> 00:14:59,963
I'm hooked on sex?
329
00:14:59,964 --> 00:15:02,500
(chuckling):
Well, let's face it Sam. It consumes you.
330
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,502
Look, be honest.
How long do you think
331
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:06,237
you could go without
thinking about sex?
332
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,438
As long as I want.
333
00:15:08,957 --> 00:15:11,959
Fine, go ahead.
Time me.
334
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,060
All right, start now.
335
00:15:13,061 --> 00:15:16,964
How long was that?
336
00:15:16,998 --> 00:15:19,132
About a second.
337
00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:20,201
Well, is, is that normal?
338
00:15:20,202 --> 00:15:22,669
For a rabbit!
339
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:26,307
You know something, I don't,
I don't care what you think.
340
00:15:26,308 --> 00:15:28,876
You know, I am leading
the life that I want to lead.
341
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:31,145
And if I, if I choose
to settle down someday,
342
00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:33,047
I won't have any problem
finding someone to do it with.
343
00:15:33,048 --> 00:15:35,115
Okay, okay.
I'll tell you what.
344
00:15:35,116 --> 00:15:36,750
Let's get a woman's opinion.
Carla will suffice.
345
00:15:36,751 --> 00:15:38,018
Carla...
346
00:15:38,052 --> 00:15:39,687
What...?
347
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:43,657
Sam here has a question
he'd like to pop.
348
00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:44,758
Shoot.
349
00:15:44,793 --> 00:15:46,794
Yeah, all right, fine.
350
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:52,132
Carla, strictly hypothetically,
would you marry me?
351
00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:55,885
Sammy, that's a
stupid question.
352
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,487
Well, I know it is.
353
00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,123
Not in a million years!
354
00:16:00,158 --> 00:16:02,259
What?
Oh, Sammy.
355
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:03,860
Nobody loves you
as much as I do.
356
00:16:03,861 --> 00:16:05,262
But I know you!
357
00:16:05,263 --> 00:16:07,230
You know, we'd be
taking our wedding vows,
358
00:16:07,231 --> 00:16:09,600
and you'd be checking out
the bridesmaids.
359
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:12,402
You're a hound.
I can't marry a hound.
360
00:16:14,372 --> 00:16:17,541
Hey, I thought we had something
special going on between us.
361
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:18,709
Definitely, we do.
362
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:20,978
I just always thought
that I'd be the woman
363
00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:23,414
you cheated on your wife with.
364
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,883
Call me a hopeless romantic.
365
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:33,124
Well, Sam, uh,
when you're ready.
366
00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:38,078
Norman.
Hey, Fras.
367
00:16:38,079 --> 00:16:39,113
Oh, hey, hey, Norm.
368
00:16:39,114 --> 00:16:40,881
Hmm? Yeah?
369
00:16:40,915 --> 00:16:42,349
Can I talk to you a second?
370
00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:43,683
Sure.
371
00:16:43,685 --> 00:16:46,270
I've been doing a lot of
thinking about my life.
372
00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:48,872
You know, and I think
I need a little advice.
373
00:16:48,873 --> 00:16:49,939
Well, well, hold on a second.
374
00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:51,608
Is this going to be
one of those conversations
375
00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:52,876
where you're feeling
sort of vulnerable
376
00:16:52,877 --> 00:16:55,011
and you really need a
good friend to talk to
377
00:16:55,012 --> 00:16:57,515
'cause you're thinking
about changing the direction of your life?
378
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,216
Yeah.
379
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:02,019
Could you just hang on
a second, then? Just...
380
00:17:04,306 --> 00:17:07,291
Norm said you
wanted to talk to me?
381
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:14,047
So, that's when I gave
Dr. Sutton a call.
382
00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:22,823
SAM:
Uh, excuse me.
383
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:26,760
Is this the meeting
for the... sex thing?
384
00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:28,095
Yes...
385
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,130
the sexual compulsives group.
386
00:17:30,165 --> 00:17:32,499
Yes, I'm Doctor Sutton.
387
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,567
Hi.
388
00:17:33,568 --> 00:17:35,069
Have a seat.
Thank you.
389
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,271
We've just been going
around the room,
390
00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:39,373
telling a little bit
about ourselves.
391
00:17:39,374 --> 00:17:40,858
And why don't we
continue with you?
392
00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:44,060
Let's start with your name.
First name only, please.
393
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:47,013
All right, uh, (clears throat)
394
00:17:47,048 --> 00:17:50,116
My name is...
395
00:17:50,151 --> 00:17:51,885
Steve.
396
00:17:51,953 --> 00:17:55,171
ALL:
Hi, Steve.
397
00:17:55,240 --> 00:18:00,411
Uh, well, uh,
398
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,063
I'm, I'm starting off
on the wrong foot, here.
399
00:18:03,097 --> 00:18:05,899
Uh, my real name is not Steve.
400
00:18:05,934 --> 00:18:08,635
It's... Bob.
401
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,390
ALL:
Hi, Bob.
402
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,428
I can't believe I'm doing this.
403
00:18:17,462 --> 00:18:20,297
I, uh, I'm really embarrassed.
404
00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:22,700
My name isn't Bob, either.
405
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,602
It's, uh, it's Sam.
406
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:28,539
No, really, it is.
It's Sam.
407
00:18:28,573 --> 00:18:32,543
ALL:
Hi...Sam.
408
00:18:32,577 --> 00:18:36,997
Well, uh, where to begin?
409
00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,883
See, I-I don't, I don't really
have a problem, you know.
410
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:42,752
It's just that, uh,
my friends think I do.
411
00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:47,391
Uh, see, I've, I've, had
a lot of sex in my life.
412
00:18:47,425 --> 00:18:49,526
We all have.
413
00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,278
No, No.
414
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:56,884
You see, I-I mean a lot.
415
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,852
So do I.
416
00:18:58,854 --> 00:19:00,187
Yeah, all right, wise guy.
417
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,722
I'm writing down a number here.
418
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,327
Sam, I think you're
missing the point.
419
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,030
Sorry.
420
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:13,517
Uh, well, you know, I don't,
421
00:19:13,518 --> 00:19:15,452
I don't know why they
think I have a problem.
422
00:19:15,453 --> 00:19:17,921
You know, so I have a healthy
sex drive. Big deal.
423
00:19:17,956 --> 00:19:20,606
I mean, what's, what's the big
deal about that, huh?
424
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:26,246
I mean, uh, you know, granted
it's a big part of my life.
425
00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:30,384
You know, when I'm not having
sex, I'm-I'm thinking about it.
426
00:19:30,385 --> 00:19:33,921
I-I don't want you
to think that I'm, uh,
427
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,522
you know, that I'm, uh,
(clears throat) you know,
428
00:19:35,523 --> 00:19:37,258
that I'm shallow, 'cause I
have other interests, too.
429
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,160
You know, like,
like, like my hair.
430
00:19:43,648 --> 00:19:47,367
The, uh... the babes
really love my hair.
431
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:53,007
Yeah, I don't know
what the big deal is.
432
00:19:53,008 --> 00:19:54,474
You know, when I was growing up,
433
00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:59,579
it was a sign of-of manhood
how many women you shagged.
434
00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:02,983
I guess I just, uh,
missed the announcement
435
00:20:03,018 --> 00:20:04,968
when they changed the rule.
436
00:20:05,002 --> 00:20:09,223
So, I just kept on doing it.
437
00:20:09,225 --> 00:20:11,441
I- I suppose if
I'm really honest,
438
00:20:11,509 --> 00:20:12,559
that I...
439
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,045
I'm not that happy anymore.
440
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:21,001
Um, I suppose I'm, I'm, you
know, beginning to realize
441
00:20:21,035 --> 00:20:24,771
that, uh, all that
skirt chasing kept me from
442
00:20:24,805 --> 00:20:27,674
experiencing some of the
good things in life.
443
00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:34,214
Some of the... important things.
444
00:20:34,248 --> 00:20:38,185
Phew. Uh, maybe, uh...
445
00:20:38,186 --> 00:20:39,652
Maybe I'm not here
for my friends.
446
00:20:39,653 --> 00:20:44,757
M-Maybe I am here for myself.
447
00:20:48,296 --> 00:20:50,898
Thank you, Sam. I know
that was difficult for you,
448
00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:53,333
but we're glad you're here.
449
00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:54,668
Uh, who's next?
450
00:20:54,702 --> 00:20:56,170
How about you?
451
00:20:56,254 --> 00:21:01,508
Uh, well, I guess I've had
this problem for a long time.
452
00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:03,159
Excuse me, your name?
453
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:05,912
Oh, sorry. Rachel.
454
00:21:05,930 --> 00:21:08,565
ALL:
Hi, Rachel.
455
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,386
I guess the root
of my behaviour,
456
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:15,806
like everybody's, is
my low self-esteem.
457
00:21:15,857 --> 00:21:18,075
I never thought
I was very pretty
458
00:21:18,109 --> 00:21:21,344
or had any particular talent.
459
00:21:21,379 --> 00:21:24,248
The only time I felt
special was when
460
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:26,016
men were attracted
to me sexually.
461
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:29,870
And it started out
innocently enough, you know.
462
00:21:29,904 --> 00:21:33,073
I would sleep with a guy on the
first date, every now and then.
463
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:39,079
But it wasn't long before I was
having a first date every night.
464
00:21:39,113 --> 00:21:43,483
And soon, sex was all
I could think about.
465
00:21:43,518 --> 00:21:46,986
Morning, noon and night.
Seven days a week.
466
00:21:46,988 --> 00:21:49,506
It wasn't enough
467
00:21:49,607 --> 00:21:52,692
as far as quantity,
it had to be dangerous, too.
468
00:21:52,727 --> 00:21:56,830
I would duck into an alleyway
with a guy on the way to work.
469
00:21:56,865 --> 00:21:59,833
Or I'd stop an elevator
between floors.
470
00:21:59,868 --> 00:22:02,769
Sneak a guy into a department
store dressing room.
471
00:22:04,706 --> 00:22:07,307
I would love to put a stop to
this,
472
00:22:07,341 --> 00:22:10,610
because I... I feel like my
appetites are out of control.
473
00:22:10,644 --> 00:22:12,394
I mean, I hunger
for it constantly.
474
00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:17,184
And there is no limit
to how low I'll go.
475
00:22:17,218 --> 00:22:19,986
There's no chance I won't take.
476
00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:24,491
No fantasy I won't fulfill.
477
00:22:24,525 --> 00:22:28,795
My lust controls me
and that's why I'm here.
478
00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:39,873
So, you like Chinese food?
35092
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