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00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:04,077
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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00:00:08,424 --> 00:00:10,142
(brakes squealing)
3
00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:43,174
(theme song begins)
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00:00:44,543 --> 00:00:46,861
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
5
00:00:46,896 --> 00:00:50,264
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
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00:00:52,301 --> 00:00:56,938
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
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00:00:56,972 --> 00:00:59,473
♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
8
00:00:59,508 --> 00:01:01,609
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
9
00:01:01,643 --> 00:01:06,247
♪ You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. ♪
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00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:29,837
Hey, Cliffie, take
away that beard,
11
00:01:29,838 --> 00:01:32,073
and you know who
I'd swear that is?
12
00:01:32,108 --> 00:01:33,674
Oh, yeah,
13
00:01:33,675 --> 00:01:35,894
you took the words
right out of my mouth, Normie.
14
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:40,364
Mr. D.B. Cooper himself.
15
00:01:40,399 --> 00:01:42,000
Yeah, I've been trackin' him
16
00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:43,968
for 20 years now,
17
00:01:44,003 --> 00:01:48,272
and now he's found me;
The supreme irony.
18
00:01:48,306 --> 00:01:50,708
No, Cliff, I was going
to say Robin Colcord.
19
00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:51,976
Huh? Oh, yeah!
20
00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,144
Yeah, you're right.
21
00:01:53,178 --> 00:01:54,412
Isn't that something?
22
00:01:54,446 --> 00:01:57,314
Well, my search continues.
23
00:01:57,349 --> 00:01:58,983
A glass of ice water.
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00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:00,985
And, uh, by the way,
hello, Sam.
25
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:02,653
Hello, boys.
26
00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:04,488
I'm back.
27
00:02:04,523 --> 00:02:08,826
Robin!
Robin Colcord!
28
00:02:08,827 --> 00:02:09,728
I'll be damned.
29
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,062
How you been?
30
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:12,764
Look at you!
31
00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:15,133
Why you, uh, why are you
dressed like that?
32
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,550
Well, my friends,
I'm not the same Robin Colcord
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00:02:16,551 --> 00:02:19,286
you once knew-
I am penniless.
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00:02:19,321 --> 00:02:20,455
CARLA:
Robin!
35
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:22,424
You left here with
six million bucks!
36
00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:23,724
Remember, you had it hidden
37
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:25,377
in that money belt
in the office?
38
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,228
Yeah, well, I gave it away.
39
00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:29,730
And now I'm a drifter searching
the world without a dime
40
00:02:29,731 --> 00:02:32,300
and finally liking
what I find inside me.
41
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:35,904
Well... great.
42
00:02:37,552 --> 00:02:40,491
No, seriously, Robin, you know,
43
00:02:40,492 --> 00:02:41,993
what have you been up to?
44
00:02:42,027 --> 00:02:43,177
I've been living.
45
00:02:43,212 --> 00:02:44,829
I walked through Europe.
46
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:46,244
I worked a kibbutz in Israel.
47
00:02:46,265 --> 00:02:47,732
Joined the merchant marine.
48
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,968
Had the great honour
to be blessed by the Pope.
49
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:53,237
But listen to me
going on about myself.
50
00:02:53,272 --> 00:02:55,206
What have you fellows
been up to?
51
00:03:00,329 --> 00:03:03,097
Hitler moved into my building.
52
00:03:03,131 --> 00:03:05,050
And, uh, how's Rebecca?
53
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:06,517
Is she still luscious?
54
00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:09,154
Uh, no. Actually,
she slimmed down.
55
00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:11,789
My Rebecca.
56
00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:14,354
You know, I can't tell you
how much I've missed her.
57
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,660
And now to see her again,
58
00:03:15,694 --> 00:03:17,629
to look into those amber eyes,
59
00:03:17,663 --> 00:03:20,364
to hear that crystal bell
of a voice.
60
00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:21,499
Crap, Sam!
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00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:24,169
Your desk smells like somebody
puked in it!
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00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:28,006
Rebecca, I'm back.
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00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,741
(breathless):
Robin!
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00:03:30,776 --> 00:03:34,012
My sweet baby!
Is it really you?!?
65
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,012
Yes.
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00:03:35,013 --> 00:03:37,148
I knew you'd come back for me!
67
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,583
I quit!
68
00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:41,119
I'm out of here.
69
00:03:41,153 --> 00:03:43,188
No more petty job
for Rebecca Howe.
70
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:45,022
No more hanging out
with you poor,
71
00:03:45,023 --> 00:03:46,791
pathetic, boring
losers all day!
72
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:48,059
My prayers have been answered.
73
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:50,530
Robin's come back for me,
and I'm rich! I'm rich!
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00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,931
Why are you dressed
like that, Robin?
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00:03:53,932 --> 00:03:55,400
Well I've taken
a vow of poverty.
76
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,781
I have only what I'm wearing
77
00:03:56,782 --> 00:03:58,636
and what I'm carrying
in my rucksack.
78
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:01,439
Well, that's very sweet.
79
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:04,242
Uh, did I just call
you guys a bunch
80
00:04:04,276 --> 00:04:05,776
of names a few minutes ago?
81
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:06,911
Yeah.
82
00:04:06,912 --> 00:04:08,579
I'm sorry, I just
have these episodes
83
00:04:08,580 --> 00:04:12,450
when I'm around rich people,
sort of like a blackout.
84
00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:14,619
No harm done, 'kay?
85
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:17,371
Uh, Robin, listen.
86
00:04:17,372 --> 00:04:19,307
You know, I'm really interested
in hearing all about
87
00:04:19,308 --> 00:04:20,874
what's been happening with you,
88
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:22,843
so what say you and I
go to dinner tonight,
89
00:04:22,844 --> 00:04:24,345
just the two of us.
90
00:04:24,346 --> 00:04:26,097
Well, I'm afraid it would
have to be your treat.
91
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:27,332
Of course it would.
92
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,133
Well, splendid.
93
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:29,917
I'll, uh, just go
and wash up, eh?
94
00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:33,004
Poor guy.
95
00:04:33,038 --> 00:04:34,805
It's a real comedown, isn't it?
96
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:35,940
Seems happy though.
97
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:38,076
Of course he's happy.
98
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,111
He's lying.
99
00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:42,230
I'm afraid of the rest of this.
100
00:04:42,264 --> 00:04:44,332
Sam, don't you see it?
He's testing me.
101
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,934
Remember the last time
before he left,
102
00:04:45,935 --> 00:04:48,269
he pretended like he was poor
and I rejected him?
103
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:50,855
And then it turns out
he wasn't poor, he was rich?
104
00:04:50,856 --> 00:04:52,123
Well, he's testing me again.
105
00:04:52,124 --> 00:04:53,624
He wants to see if I've matured.
106
00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:55,059
And I'm gonna make damn sure
107
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,695
that he knows that material
wealth means nothing to me.
108
00:04:57,696 --> 00:04:59,463
And then he'll marry me
and take me away.
109
00:04:59,464 --> 00:05:01,032
And I won't have to spend
any more time
110
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,101
with you poor, pathetic,
boring losers.
111
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:06,554
Day after day after day!
112
00:05:06,588 --> 00:05:09,190
Honey, it's happening again.
113
00:05:09,224 --> 00:05:11,526
What? What's happening?
114
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:19,367
Hello, everyone!
115
00:05:19,401 --> 00:05:20,768
So, what's new?
116
00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:22,102
Hey, Doc,
you'd better settle in.
117
00:05:22,103 --> 00:05:23,654
Have we got a surprise for you.
118
00:05:23,688 --> 00:05:24,823
Really?
119
00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:27,058
Oh, yeah, yeah,
a real shockeroo.
120
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,960
You'll never guess who's back.
121
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:31,979
It's Lilith, isn't it?
122
00:05:33,665 --> 00:05:35,049
Oh, thank God!
123
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:36,917
She wants me back!
124
00:05:36,952 --> 00:05:40,188
Oh!
Everything's gonna be okay now!
125
00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:41,555
I'll fall to my knees
126
00:05:41,556 --> 00:05:43,924
and tell her what a living hell
my life has been!
127
00:05:43,925 --> 00:05:48,629
At last, the long nightmare
is finally over!
128
00:05:48,663 --> 00:05:50,398
Where is my beautiful girl?
129
00:05:50,432 --> 00:05:53,100
Well, Doc, actually,
it's Robin Colcord.
130
00:05:57,823 --> 00:06:02,192
Oh... good.
131
00:06:02,227 --> 00:06:04,517
I wouldn't take
that broad back if you paid me.
132
00:06:09,401 --> 00:06:11,202
How'd it go?
133
00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:12,303
(quietly):
He's testing me,
134
00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:14,105
but I'm passing
with flying colours.
135
00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:16,441
Sam, uh, I hate to trouble you,
136
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:19,910
but do you think I could sleep
in your storage room tonight?
137
00:06:19,945 --> 00:06:21,379
Sure.
138
00:06:21,413 --> 00:06:22,803
Oh, Robin, don't be silly!
139
00:06:22,804 --> 00:06:24,465
You're not gonna
sleep in a storage room.
140
00:06:24,466 --> 00:06:25,833
I have a perfectly good
apartment.
141
00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,001
You're gonna stay with me.
142
00:06:27,002 --> 00:06:28,236
Rebecca, you are an angel.
143
00:06:28,237 --> 00:06:29,553
So, Rob,
144
00:06:29,588 --> 00:06:33,024
tell me the truth,
you really don't miss having the big bucks?
145
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:34,308
Not a bit of it.
146
00:06:34,343 --> 00:06:37,478
Money makes people greedy,
and greed is a disease.
147
00:06:37,513 --> 00:06:38,946
I was a miser.
148
00:06:38,947 --> 00:06:41,049
A sick little squirrel
hiding money belts
149
00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:43,851
filled with millions of dollars
all over the world.
150
00:06:43,885 --> 00:06:46,704
You mean, uh,
there were other ones besides that one
151
00:06:46,738 --> 00:06:48,605
you hid in the desk
in Sam's office?
152
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,708
I-I used to hide them
in pairs, backups,
153
00:06:50,709 --> 00:06:52,377
in case someone found
the first one.
154
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,128
Well, thank God I'm no longer
155
00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:55,146
obsessed by money.
156
00:06:55,147 --> 00:06:57,497
Now all I need is happiness
and companionship.
157
00:06:57,516 --> 00:06:58,883
Uh, do you mind, darling?
158
00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:00,601
I've been walking
since Tuesday.
159
00:07:00,602 --> 00:07:02,120
Can we go home now?
160
00:07:02,154 --> 00:07:05,356
Yes. You are inspiration.
161
00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:07,174
And I, too, feel
162
00:07:07,175 --> 00:07:08,792
that money is the
root of all evil
163
00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:10,361
and that friendship
is true gold.
164
00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:15,133
That's why I value your
friendship so much, Robin.
165
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:18,302
Money! Money! Money!
Money! Money!
166
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:22,373
So, did anyone else
hear Robin say
167
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:25,476
that he hides money
belts in pairs?
168
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,194
Uh, I did.
169
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,530
Yeah, but he, uh,
only walked out of here
170
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:31,065
with one of them.
171
00:07:31,099 --> 00:07:32,149
Uh-huh.
172
00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:33,234
You don't suppose...
173
00:07:33,268 --> 00:07:35,186
Oh, come on,
give me a break, you guys.
174
00:07:35,187 --> 00:07:36,454
I know what you're thinking.
175
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,722
There's no way in hell
176
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,757
that he put another
money belt in this place.
177
00:07:39,758 --> 00:07:41,092
It's ridiculous.
178
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:42,393
Yeah.
179
00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:44,428
Yeah, you're right,
Sam, I guess.
180
00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:45,612
Damn right I am.
181
00:07:45,647 --> 00:07:48,282
Okay, closing time!
Everybody out!
182
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,677
Come on, I mean it.
We're closed. Get out.
183
00:07:59,711 --> 00:08:01,512
Sammy, it's only
ten after 8:00.
184
00:08:01,513 --> 00:08:03,381
(yawns):
Yeah, well, I'm really tired.
185
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:05,750
Come on, let's go.
Everybody out.
186
00:08:05,784 --> 00:08:08,986
Sam Malone, you know, you ought
to be ashamed of yourself.
187
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:11,321
As soon as money enters
the picture,
188
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:13,390
you try to kick out
all your friends.
189
00:08:13,424 --> 00:08:16,927
Now, who was there for you
when Diane left you, huh?
190
00:08:16,962 --> 00:08:19,697
Who was there for you
when this bar burned down?
191
00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:22,933
Us, your friends, that's who.
192
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:26,270
I'm not kidding, get out.
193
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:30,140
Don't forget, Sam,
that's not your money.
194
00:08:30,175 --> 00:08:33,344
If one of us finds it
and tries to keep it,
195
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:36,280
the others can blow
the whistle.
196
00:08:36,314 --> 00:08:40,134
You guys would really
send me to jail?
197
00:08:40,168 --> 00:08:43,437
In a heartbeat.
198
00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:47,325
Okay, then here's the deal.
199
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,359
This is my bar.
200
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,729
Whoever finds it, I get half.
201
00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,597
Huh? What do you say?
202
00:08:53,631 --> 00:08:55,532
Huh?
203
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:57,568
All right.
All right, sounds reasonable.
204
00:08:57,569 --> 00:09:00,137
And then the other half will be
divided among ourselves.
205
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:03,858
I suggest that we split into
teams to expedite the search.
206
00:09:03,892 --> 00:09:05,676
Sounds good to me.
207
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:09,363
Of course it sounds good
to him, he gets half.
208
00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:11,082
What do you think
you're doing, Sam?
209
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:14,085
I'm gonna read my paper until
one of you brings me my half.
210
00:09:14,119 --> 00:09:16,137
All right.
Let's get to work.
211
00:09:16,171 --> 00:09:18,523
Yeah.
Let's get to work.
212
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:20,425
Say, uh, Normie,
213
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:23,093
does Sammy get half
of what we find
214
00:09:23,128 --> 00:09:26,631
or, uh, half of what
we claim to find?
215
00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:28,449
Oh, what we claim to find.
216
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,018
After all, the guy's
not a mind reader.
217
00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:31,352
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
218
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,137
So, uh, we find
something that's got,
219
00:09:33,138 --> 00:09:36,974
say, $6 million in it,
we only give him $3 million.
220
00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:39,042
Yeah. We call it a
finder's fee, shall we?
221
00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:40,711
Oh, my man.
222
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,680
Yeah...
223
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:47,818
Let's just call it a
finder's fee, shall we?
224
00:09:50,956 --> 00:09:53,624
♪ ♪
225
00:09:57,612 --> 00:09:59,313
♪ I want money ♪
226
00:10:04,069 --> 00:10:06,137
♪ I want money ♪
227
00:10:07,789 --> 00:10:10,641
♪ I need cash ♪
228
00:10:10,675 --> 00:10:14,444
♪ A whole bunch of cash ♪
229
00:10:16,147 --> 00:10:18,632
♪ I want money. ♪
230
00:10:20,335 --> 00:10:23,187
(music fades)
231
00:10:25,306 --> 00:10:26,424
Here you go.
232
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,592
I'll get you a
couple more pillows
233
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,428
and then you'll be just
as comfy as you can be.
234
00:10:31,429 --> 00:10:32,530
That's good of you, Rebecca.
235
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:34,164
You know, it must be
awkward for you.
236
00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:36,099
I mean, after all,
we have a history.
237
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,218
Oh, Robin,
please don't bring up the past.
238
00:10:38,219 --> 00:10:40,855
I just feel so ashamed
of the way I used to be.
239
00:10:40,889 --> 00:10:42,573
I was so...
240
00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:44,908
so bratty and so greedy.
241
00:10:44,943 --> 00:10:46,844
I'd just rather
not talk about it.
242
00:10:46,878 --> 00:10:49,246
(phone rings)
243
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,571
Why don't you get that
and I'll be right back?
244
00:10:52,835 --> 00:10:54,501
Howe residence. Oh!
245
00:10:54,536 --> 00:10:56,070
Uh, hello, Frasier.
246
00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:58,272
I was just thinking
about how you mentioned
247
00:10:58,273 --> 00:11:00,674
that you used to use,
uh, hidden money belts,
248
00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:02,743
as financial security.
249
00:11:02,777 --> 00:11:05,113
Well, it just so happens
250
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:09,984
that I have some valuables
that I'd like to hide.
251
00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:12,953
But where?
252
00:11:12,988 --> 00:11:15,590
So I'd like to pick
your brain if I could.
253
00:11:15,624 --> 00:11:19,560
Uh, I know that you favoured
the underside of desk drawers,
254
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,530
but, uh, I thought
you might throw out some more ideas.
255
00:11:22,531 --> 00:11:24,582
Pretend that
you're the old Robin. (call waiting beeps)
256
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,084
Uh, uh, Frasier, would you just
hold for a minute?
257
00:11:27,085 --> 00:11:28,819
I have another call coming in.
258
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,220
Hello?
259
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:32,640
Oh, yeah, hey,
Robin, listen, uh...
260
00:11:32,674 --> 00:11:35,109
yeah, found some sort
of a money belt
261
00:11:35,143 --> 00:11:36,944
and I assume it's yours here,
262
00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:38,795
you know, but I hate
to cause any problems
263
00:11:38,796 --> 00:11:39,846
in case it's not.
264
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,032
So, okay I get it.
265
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,101
Why don't you tell me
where you hid yours
266
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,635
and-and I'll tell you
267
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:47,504
if that's where
I found this one.
268
00:11:47,505 --> 00:11:49,673
Well, uh, Cliff, I must admit
that I had a penchant
269
00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:51,842
for hiding them
in, uh, ductwork.
270
00:11:51,843 --> 00:11:54,011
You know, that way they'd
be easy to get to and, uh,
271
00:11:54,012 --> 00:11:55,145
impervious to damage.
272
00:11:55,146 --> 00:11:56,547
Oh, uh, great, great, great.
273
00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:58,315
Oh, uh, I guess
this isn't yours.
274
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,067
Okay.
Uh, Frasier?
275
00:12:00,101 --> 00:12:01,919
Oh, Robin. Hi.
Yeah. Oh, that's okay.
276
00:12:01,953 --> 00:12:05,956
Uh... Mm-hmm.
277
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:07,958
Ductwork, you say.
278
00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:09,260
Good-bye.
279
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:10,294
It's in the ducts.
280
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:11,895
We're rich. We're rich.
281
00:12:11,896 --> 00:12:12,730
Who was that?
282
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:13,881
Your friends.
283
00:12:13,882 --> 00:12:15,349
They're tearing apart
your place of work
284
00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:18,152
looking for one
of my money belts. Oh.
285
00:12:18,186 --> 00:12:19,756
Well, don't be
too hard on them.
286
00:12:19,787 --> 00:12:22,806
You know, the sad part
is that two years ago
287
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:24,975
I would have been right
over there with them.
288
00:12:24,976 --> 00:12:26,260
Yeah... But, you gotta admit,
289
00:12:26,261 --> 00:12:28,512
a million dollars
is pretty tempting.
290
00:12:28,513 --> 00:12:30,347
But you're not
tempted anymore, huh?
291
00:12:30,348 --> 00:12:32,616
Oh! No, no, no, not me.
292
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:34,952
Well, I mean... yes.
293
00:12:34,953 --> 00:12:36,654
It would be nice
because of the good
294
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:39,090
that you could do with it.
295
00:12:39,124 --> 00:12:41,159
I would love nothing more
296
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,294
than to be able to
spend a lot of money
297
00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:44,829
on my favourite charity.
298
00:12:44,863 --> 00:12:46,164
Which one is that?
299
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:48,316
Oh, that's the
Children's Boston...
300
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:50,618
something-something.
301
00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:52,536
You know... you're wonderful.
302
00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:54,305
You know, you really are
303
00:12:54,339 --> 00:12:55,539
a lovely woman, Rebecca.
304
00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:57,341
And, Robin, you are the most
305
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,509
handsome, charming,
306
00:12:58,543 --> 00:13:00,511
sophisticated man
I've ever met.
307
00:13:00,512 --> 00:13:01,578
Well, thank you.
308
00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:02,746
Uh, now, if you'll excuse me,
309
00:13:02,747 --> 00:13:04,248
I must go and wash
out my underwear
310
00:13:04,249 --> 00:13:05,999
in the bathroom
sink for tomorrow.
311
00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:11,188
Robin?
312
00:13:11,189 --> 00:13:12,189
Uh-huh?
313
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:13,457
You didn't by any chance
314
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:14,825
hide one of those money belts
315
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:16,026
over here, ever, did you?
316
00:13:16,027 --> 00:13:17,661
Hah. Well,
I mean, if I did,
317
00:13:17,662 --> 00:13:19,630
you-you'd be sure to
have found it by now.
318
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:21,031
I mean, you have cleaned up
319
00:13:21,032 --> 00:13:22,833
in the past two
years, haven't you?
320
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,535
(laughing):
Of course I have.
321
00:13:31,176 --> 00:13:32,443
Be cool. Be cool.
322
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:41,151
(sighs and groans)
323
00:13:41,186 --> 00:13:42,720
That's it.
324
00:13:42,754 --> 00:13:44,555
There's nothing in the ducts.
325
00:13:44,589 --> 00:13:47,975
We checked the office,
the pool room, the rest-rooms.
326
00:13:48,010 --> 00:13:49,310
I don't get it.
327
00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:54,699
Unless you two are lying.
328
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:56,651
Huh?
329
00:13:56,685 --> 00:13:59,303
Just going along
with this duct thing
330
00:13:59,337 --> 00:14:01,938
waiting for us to keel
over with exhaustion.
331
00:14:01,973 --> 00:14:04,442
Oh, yeah?
332
00:14:04,476 --> 00:14:06,711
How do we know that
you two aren't lying?
333
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,712
That's it, Clavin,
you're history, man.
334
00:14:08,713 --> 00:14:09,980
All right.
Come on, Tortelli.
335
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:11,249
Take your best shot, huh?
336
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,783
I never liked you anyway.
337
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:15,152
I only pretended to because
you liked me, obviously.
338
00:14:15,153 --> 00:14:16,804
(growling)
339
00:14:16,838 --> 00:14:19,389
No, Carla.
Carla, no! No!
340
00:14:19,424 --> 00:14:20,825
Stop it. Stop it.
341
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:23,627
Don't you see? Greed's
turning us into animals.
342
00:14:23,661 --> 00:14:27,130
We've got to behave like
civilized human beings.
343
00:14:27,165 --> 00:14:29,333
All right.
All right.
344
00:14:29,367 --> 00:14:31,935
Now...
345
00:14:31,969 --> 00:14:33,437
I've got...
346
00:14:33,471 --> 00:14:36,106
some sodium
Pentathol in my car.
347
00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:41,912
If one of you is
lying, we'll know it.
348
00:14:44,649 --> 00:14:47,084
Are you sure you've
looked in all the ducts?
349
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:48,318
Yeah, we looked in all of them.
350
00:14:48,319 --> 00:14:49,520
Unless they were in the ducts
351
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:50,787
that burned up in the fire.
352
00:14:50,788 --> 00:14:52,989
What are you saying? Six million
bucks went up in smoke?
353
00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:54,458
SAM:
Aw, it doesn't make any sense.
354
00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:56,660
I mean, I cleaned up most
of that rubble myself.
355
00:14:56,661 --> 00:14:58,329
You know, there would
have been some traces...
356
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:01,232
a buckle, some burnt
pieces of money, something.
357
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:03,534
Sam, you're...
you're certain
358
00:15:03,568 --> 00:15:07,571
you were alone
and you saw nothing?
359
00:15:07,605 --> 00:15:10,308
Now, listen, go back
in your mind's eye.
360
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:11,792
SAM:
All right. Yeah.
361
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,494
All right, I,
uh, came running in.
362
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,796
Everything was
charred and moist,
363
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,232
and I sweeped up a little bit
364
00:15:18,266 --> 00:15:22,436
and there was some wood,
some glass, some metal.
365
00:15:22,471 --> 00:15:25,272
Oh, yeah, then captain, uh...
366
00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:26,707
a fire captain came in
367
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:27,991
and asked me...
A fire captain?
368
00:15:27,992 --> 00:15:29,460
Oh, yeah.
369
00:15:29,494 --> 00:15:30,828
Captain Dobbins.
370
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:32,930
He was there when I came in
in the morning.
371
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:35,299
Yeah, well, I think
we have our answer. Hmm.
372
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:38,152
Hi.
373
00:15:38,153 --> 00:15:41,272
Let me speak to Captain Dobbins.
374
00:15:41,306 --> 00:15:43,039
Oh, he retired, did he?
375
00:15:43,074 --> 00:15:44,809
Hah!
376
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:47,278
Six months ago?!
377
00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:48,579
Thank you
378
00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:49,897
very much.
379
00:15:51,983 --> 00:15:54,885
Apparently the good captain
has come into some money.
380
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,420
That crook stole our dough.
381
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,288
Yeah. Gotta get
him down here.
382
00:15:58,289 --> 00:16:00,207
Yeah. How? We just
can't give him a call
383
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:02,142
and ask him to drop on by.
384
00:16:02,176 --> 00:16:03,893
Yeah. Yeah, what
are we gonna do?
385
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,762
Leave this
to me, Sam. Oh.
386
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:08,565
I happen to know some
people who can handle
387
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,590
this kind of thing,
no questions asked.
388
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:14,905
Might cost us a little,
but they do good work.
389
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,189
Hi. It's Mommy.
390
00:16:16,224 --> 00:16:17,858
Wake up your brothers.
391
00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:24,515
Robin,
392
00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:27,584
do you ever think about us?
393
00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:29,386
Well, I have to
admit, Rebecca, yes.
394
00:16:29,387 --> 00:16:31,221
Sometimes I do.
395
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:34,507
I have to tell you that
since we broke up...
396
00:16:34,508 --> 00:16:37,961
a day has not gone by
that I haven't regretted it.
397
00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:39,663
It-It was the biggest
mistake of my life.
398
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:40,864
Do you really feel that way?
399
00:16:40,865 --> 00:16:41,998
Yeah, I do.
400
00:16:42,033 --> 00:16:43,951
Robin, take me back.
401
00:16:43,985 --> 00:16:45,052
Please?
402
00:16:45,086 --> 00:16:46,320
I want to be with you.
403
00:16:46,354 --> 00:16:47,705
And I know you don't
404
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:48,972
have any money, and that's fine.
405
00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:50,641
Let's just go around
the world together.
406
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,809
I don't want to have
any material things.
407
00:16:52,843 --> 00:16:54,611
I'll just, I'll just pack a bag
408
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:58,815
of some, a few meagre things,
and some makeup essentials
409
00:16:58,849 --> 00:17:02,118
and... and then we'll
travel around together.
410
00:17:02,153 --> 00:17:04,588
You'd really give up
everything for me?
411
00:17:04,622 --> 00:17:06,372
Oh, yeah. You bet
your booty I would.
412
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,975
I wouldn't make
that mistake twice.
413
00:17:07,976 --> 00:17:11,228
Rebecca, I'd love to have you
share my journeys with me.
414
00:17:11,262 --> 00:17:12,896
Robin.
415
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,064
Oh.
416
00:17:14,065 --> 00:17:15,282
But, let, uh, there's, um,
417
00:17:15,283 --> 00:17:17,384
just-just one thing
I have to tell you.
418
00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:18,968
How much?
I mean, go ahead.
419
00:17:19,587 --> 00:17:22,289
You see, occasionally, I, um,
420
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:25,258
I supplement my meagre
lifestyle by stealing.
421
00:17:25,293 --> 00:17:27,260
I did some time
for that in Louisiana.
422
00:17:27,295 --> 00:17:29,129
We may have to run
from the police,
423
00:17:29,163 --> 00:17:31,465
sleep under bridges,
eat out of garbage cans.
424
00:17:31,499 --> 00:17:32,866
Oh, Robin, cut the crap.
425
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:36,120
I said I would go away with you,
yadda-yadda-yadda-yadda.
426
00:17:36,154 --> 00:17:37,721
Now, let's get real.
427
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:40,407
Uh, what are you talking about?
428
00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:41,825
I'm talking about,
you wanted to know
429
00:17:41,826 --> 00:17:43,827
if I would still love
you if you were poor,
430
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:45,595
and I would, so
we've settled that.
431
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:47,080
So how much money do you have?
432
00:17:47,081 --> 00:17:49,133
$30 million?
$40 million?
433
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,535
You mean all this time you
thought I was still wealthy
434
00:17:51,536 --> 00:17:53,453
and that's why you've
been so kind to me?
435
00:17:53,454 --> 00:17:54,871
You haven't changed
a bit, have you?
436
00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:56,340
You haven't matured.
437
00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:58,975
You're still the same selfish,
gold digger you always were.
438
00:17:58,976 --> 00:18:01,044
I'm poor.
Do you understand?
439
00:18:01,078 --> 00:18:03,547
Destitute.
I have to shoplift for food.
440
00:18:03,581 --> 00:18:06,683
Sometimes I even have
to beg for money.
441
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:08,301
Ten million?
442
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,887
Zero.
443
00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:12,422
I'm poor.
444
00:18:12,457 --> 00:18:14,658
And I have no desire
ever to be rich again.
445
00:18:14,659 --> 00:18:17,144
You're not kidding, are you?
No, I'm not kidding.
446
00:18:17,145 --> 00:18:18,585
If my prediction is correct,
447
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,897
you'll find that
your affection for me
448
00:18:20,898 --> 00:18:22,149
has suddenly disappeared.
Oh, no.
449
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:24,084
No, it has not. I
still care a great...
450
00:18:26,154 --> 00:18:27,537
(sighs)
451
00:18:27,571 --> 00:18:30,590
Who am I kidding?
452
00:18:30,624 --> 00:18:33,477
Oh, God.
453
00:18:33,511 --> 00:18:36,780
I haven't changed
one bit in two years.
454
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:39,633
Yeah, well, I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
455
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,969
Robin, I'm so
sorry. Please... Good-bye.
456
00:18:43,004 --> 00:18:44,571
Good-bye, Rebecca.
457
00:18:50,312 --> 00:18:51,912
Good-bye, Robin.
458
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,452
(grunts)
459
00:18:59,737 --> 00:19:01,071
Thanks, kids!
460
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:02,540
Now wipe down the car,
461
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:04,542
ditch it and get right to bed!
462
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,842
It's a school night!
463
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:09,547
Oh, Sam. Thank God!
464
00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:11,882
Do you know this person?
465
00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:13,984
Shut up, moneybags.
466
00:19:14,018 --> 00:19:19,105
Sammy, guess who's living
in a brand-new house.
467
00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:20,908
Oh, a new house and retirement.
468
00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,176
You've got a lot of
explaining to do, buster.
469
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,761
What are you talking about?
470
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:28,465
Maybe you would like to tell us
how you got rich six months ago.
471
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,567
Mm-hmm.
472
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:31,768
My grandmother passed away.
473
00:19:31,802 --> 00:19:33,303
Do you mind?
474
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,789
We happen to know
there was a money belt
475
00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,291
hidden in one
of those air ducts
476
00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:38,925
in that wall that burned down,
477
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,795
and that money disappeared
right around the same time
478
00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:45,131
your grandma
so conveniently checked out.
479
00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:46,767
Mm-hmm.
480
00:19:46,801 --> 00:19:48,802
So, what have you
got to say there...
481
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:51,005
Mr. Trump?
Hmm?
482
00:19:51,039 --> 00:19:52,339
This is ridiculous.
483
00:19:52,373 --> 00:19:54,474
I don't know anything
about a money belt.
484
00:19:54,509 --> 00:19:58,912
I have half a mind to call
the police on all of you.
485
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,797
Oh...
Oh... I'm terrified.
486
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:02,799
Aw, Captain, Captain.
487
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:05,268
You know, I think we can
straighten this all out.
488
00:20:05,302 --> 00:20:08,872
Why don't you and me just take
a little walk into the office?
489
00:20:08,906 --> 00:20:11,274
Oh...
What are you doing?
490
00:20:11,308 --> 00:20:12,609
Right over there.
491
00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:13,877
Go on in there with Carla.
492
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:16,747
Oh, what are you doing?
493
00:20:19,317 --> 00:20:21,685
My God.
Look at you people.
494
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,520
Robin.
495
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,289
Look at your bar, Sam.
496
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:28,191
In your greedy desire to obtain
a non existent money belt,
497
00:20:28,192 --> 00:20:30,327
you destroyed what
was most important to you.
498
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:34,614
Excuse me. What was that
word right before "money belt"?
499
00:20:34,649 --> 00:20:36,316
Non existent.
500
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,484
Fictitious.
501
00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:38,818
Uh, mythic.
502
00:20:38,853 --> 00:20:39,970
Nothing?
503
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:43,173
Not even like a small
change purse?
504
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,438
Nothing. And here
you've torn apart your bar.
505
00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,644
I'll bet you turned
on each other, too.
506
00:20:47,678 --> 00:20:50,447
How many side deals
did you have going?
507
00:20:50,481 --> 00:20:51,865
Oh.
508
00:20:51,899 --> 00:20:53,299
(all groan and mutter)
509
00:20:56,904 --> 00:21:00,139
Oh, Robin, man, how
could you do this to us?
510
00:21:00,174 --> 00:21:03,276
To show you what money
can do to a person.
511
00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,378
You all despised me
when I was wealthy.
512
00:21:05,379 --> 00:21:06,780
You didn't
understand that I was
513
00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:08,615
victim of an illness- greed.
514
00:21:08,616 --> 00:21:10,984
But now you do understand,
because all of you here tonight
515
00:21:10,985 --> 00:21:13,821
have fallen victim
to that same illness.
516
00:21:13,822 --> 00:21:15,622
Hopefully you've all
learned something.
517
00:21:15,623 --> 00:21:17,607
And that's why
I did what I did.
518
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:18,809
Uh...
519
00:21:18,843 --> 00:21:22,496
plus, uh, I never
really liked you.
520
00:21:22,530 --> 00:21:23,797
Ta.
521
00:21:27,217 --> 00:21:31,704
Yeah, I have to admit,
Robin's right.
522
00:21:31,739 --> 00:21:34,975
Look what we've
done to this place.
523
00:21:35,009 --> 00:21:38,311
To each other.
524
00:21:38,345 --> 00:21:42,315
Look what we've become.
525
00:21:42,349 --> 00:21:43,550
Yeah. Boy,
I tell you,
526
00:21:43,585 --> 00:21:46,286
money makes people do
strange things, doesn't it?
527
00:21:47,338 --> 00:21:49,540
Has anybody seen Robin?
528
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,874
Yeah, he just left.
529
00:21:50,875 --> 00:21:54,578
Honey, it turns out there
wasn't a money belt.
530
00:21:54,579 --> 00:21:55,846
He really is poor.
531
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,665
He tried to tell me that, too,
and I almost bought it.
532
00:21:58,699 --> 00:22:03,136
Well, good-bye, you poor,
pathetic, boring losers.
533
00:22:03,170 --> 00:22:04,771
I'm a-movin' on up.
534
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:12,613
Well, I suppose we should
try to clean up this mess
535
00:22:12,647 --> 00:22:14,581
and put all that
nonsense behind us.
536
00:22:14,616 --> 00:22:18,384
Well, I suppose we all
learned something, huh?
537
00:22:18,419 --> 00:22:20,621
No harm came of it,
though, I guess.
538
00:22:20,655 --> 00:22:22,823
You know...
a few things got broken,
539
00:22:22,857 --> 00:22:24,257
but no one really got hurt.
540
00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:26,609
(Captain screaming)
541
00:22:26,644 --> 00:22:29,046
That's hot!
542
00:22:32,082 --> 00:22:34,101
(horn honks)
543
00:22:35,336 --> 00:22:38,505
Robin, you are so good.
544
00:22:38,539 --> 00:22:41,774
What are we really
waiting for, a limo?
38247
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