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1
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,800
The guy pressing the crack whore
up against the wall,
2
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,120
frisking her, groping her ass,
3
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,840
and whispering into her ear
that he'll bang her up...
4
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,200
...if I catch you again,
you little whore.
5
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,520
...is Boom Boom Bruno.
6
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:55,240
Boom Boom Bruno's real name
is Bruno Klöpel.
7
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,680
Not "Klöppel", but with a long "ö".
8
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,680
He got the nickname
for making things go boom.
9
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,600
He thinks he's the top dog
in department 73.
10
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,920
He's a ladykiller,
at least in his own mind,
11
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,640
and occasionally he'll treat himself
at the "Fliegenden Ferkel".
12
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,360
That's a disco. A bar.
13
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:19,400
It smells like piss, but the beer keeps
refilling and the women are willing.
14
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,680
He loves that joke.
15
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,000
Whenever he tells it,
he grins to himself,
16
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,280
knowing he's the king of the club,
17
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,840
tamer of pussies.
18
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,000
Bruno is a cop,
19
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,440
which you can tell
from his blue uniform.
20
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,920
Not that that worries him.
21
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,680
Who would rat on him?
22
00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:43,920
A whore?
23
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,479
Besides, nobody here cares anyway.
24
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,800
Don't take my meth.
25
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,840
Come on, give it back.
I paid for it!
26
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,200
That's my meth!
27
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,920
It's my meth!
28
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,680
Always a pleasure, Cindy.
29
00:01:56,759 --> 00:01:58,479
Fuck you, Bruno!
30
00:01:59,479 --> 00:02:01,440
Go fuck yourself, asshole!
31
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,920
No shooting up or dealing in my hood.
32
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,680
We keep things clean.
33
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,520
Bruno likes riding through
the neighborhood.
34
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,040
When dusk slowly settles in
and the street lights go on,
35
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,360
that's when he feels free.
36
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,280
The sheriff of the open road.
37
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,000
What he doesn't like?
38
00:02:31,079 --> 00:02:33,960
Pussies, fags, sissies,
39
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,320
lazy bastards, dumbasses, freeloaders,
40
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,960
lesbians with short hair.
41
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,600
Lesbians in porn are okay.
42
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,800
This is Mark, Bruno's new partner.
43
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,160
Fresh from the police academy.
44
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,000
It's his first day today.
45
00:02:49,079 --> 00:02:50,640
Always keep under cover.
46
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,920
And aim for the kidneys or the nose.
47
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,880
Check out my biceps.
Go on, touch.
48
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,120
Go on, touch.
49
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,200
Bruno likes to keep beating
until blood sprays and bones break.
50
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:04,920
But he's never killed anyone.
51
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,560
I'm not a pig.
52
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,400
Be careful you don't catch something.
53
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,520
The ladies aren't all clean.
54
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,960
And be careful they don't rob you.
55
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,920
Some try. Just ignore them.
56
00:03:21,079 --> 00:03:23,360
No money for the ladies.
57
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,520
Show them who's boss.
58
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,640
You're the man.
59
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,960
Hey, baby.
60
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,000
Look. Here's some real tits.
61
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,680
Oh, Rosalita,
62
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,160
as long as your dick's bigger than mine,
those fake tits won't help.
63
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,560
Come on, Bruno.
64
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,160
Be careful they're not
hiding a dick down there.
65
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,560
There's more and more fags.
66
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,280
If they'd lick a proper oyster,
67
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,520
then they'd keep
their back doors closed.
68
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,640
Evenin', ma'am.
69
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,200
Evenin', cowboy. How are you?
70
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,240
I'm fine, Conny.
Business is booming?
71
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,880
There's no time to get bored.
72
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,600
Currywurst, red-and-white?
73
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:40,040
It's the best, no casing, perfect
curry ketchup and chili for the bang.
74
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,280
Rudi, two times number three
for Bruno and his deputy.
75
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,480
What's your name?
76
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,520
Inspector Solowski.
77
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:54,240
Alright, Inspector Solowski,
you want fries with red-and-white sauce?
78
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,200
Ketchup, mayo?
79
00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,040
Yes, please.
I mean, both together.
80
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,040
Well then.
81
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,680
This is their chance.
82
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,880
The Adlers won a close victory by 23-20.
83
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,520
Now they just need to win the last match
of the season to win the league.
84
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,680
Right on, you sons-of-bitches!
85
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,440
Hold these.
86
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,120
Klöpel, Solowski?
87
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,240
You're called to Kolonie, number 8.
88
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,360
Copy that. We're on it.
89
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,360
That goddamn son-of-a-bitch.
90
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,080
You're about to learn something.
91
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,400
You hear that? That's an American siren.
I had it especially built in.
92
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,760
Open up, police.
93
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,040
Where is he, Jenny?
94
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,480
He's not here.
95
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,880
Ronny!
96
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,040
It's my fault, I...
97
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,600
I promised I'd take out the trash,
but I didn't.
98
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,520
I know Ronny can't stand that.
99
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,640
Jenny, where is he?
100
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,000
Chief?
101
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,760
What in the hell...
102
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,960
Goddammit!
103
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,120
Jenny!
104
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,680
Jenny, you whore! I told you
not to park the car that far away!
105
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,040
I had to walk forever.
106
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,040
If you ever go near her
or her kid again,
107
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,960
I will kill you, you rat!
108
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,160
I swear to God I'll kill you!
109
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,240
Did you hear me, Ronny?
110
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,240
Did you hear me?
111
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,720
Yeah, man!
112
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,200
Should I...
113
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,280
Should I write a report?
114
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,880
Let me tell you something, kid.
115
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,360
Forget everything you learned
at girls' school.
116
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,640
Welcome to the streets.
117
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,160
Let me give you another lecture
about my district.
118
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,680
Sometimes you can't follow the law.
119
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,960
Assholes like him never stop.
They only understand fists.
120
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,440
Wasn't that a great day?
121
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,559
See you tomorrow, partner.
122
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,440
Shit.
123
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,800
Mark likes Barbra Streisand,
124
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,880
ice cream sundaes with sprinkles,
125
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,960
fruity chewing gum,
and sparkly clothes.
126
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,080
Police, freeze.
127
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,000
Freeze, I said.
128
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,320
What?
129
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,360
Yes, I do like to stick
my baton up my ass.
130
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,440
Okay.
131
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,600
Have a nice day.
132
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,400
Now he'll have to spend five days a week
with a guy
133
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:42,080
who talked about pussies, brown temples
and wet oysters on his first day,
134
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,960
and who definitely farts
in the patrol car
135
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,560
and then says stupid things like...
136
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,720
Get everything out
that does not pay rent.
137
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,680
Damn it.
138
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,920
I can't even pee next to other men.
139
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,240
You're in a good mood.
140
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,360
-I have a new partner.
-Really?
141
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,760
Mark. Nice kid.
142
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,960
He'll make a good cop one day.
143
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:31,000
He could grow some muscle,
but we'll get there.
144
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,920
Well, why don't you bring
the young man here?
145
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,560
I'm sure he'll like it here.
146
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:27,600
Happy birthday to you
147
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:33,080
Happy birthday to you
148
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:39,440
Happy birthday dear Bruno
149
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:45,680
Happy birthday to you
150
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,840
Bourbon, please.
151
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,880
Already have a crush on the new one?
152
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,200
Oh yeah.
153
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,800
I'm in love with her melonas frutas .
154
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,040
Sure thing.
155
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,440
Her name is Alice.
156
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,360
Alice?
157
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,880
Baby?
158
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,760
My baby!
159
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,720
Hi, Mom.
160
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,880
Hello, baby.
161
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,720
How was your day?
162
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:51,840
My sweet,
163
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:54,880
little boy.
164
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,520
Okay, Mom.
165
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,400
Come on.
166
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,000
You'll have to help a little.
167
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,640
Mom, please.
168
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,120
Sharry!
169
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:19,640
I really thought it would be
something serious this time.
170
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,800
How often do I have to tell you not
to date random men from the internet?
171
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:26,920
They're never serious.
172
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,720
Here you go.
173
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,120
There's no-one like your father.
174
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,200
He would have been so proud of you.
175
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:52,080
To see his little Mark
follow in his giant footsteps.
176
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,440
He was...
177
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,680
-...a hero.
-A hero.
178
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,200
You know what, Mom?
179
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,320
My first day was...
180
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,520
really great.
181
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,120
I've got a great partner.
182
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,880
And we make a really good team.
183
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,160
We actually even...
184
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:36,080
We even arrested a man
who beat up his girlfriend.
185
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,120
Thank God it's you, Mr. Klöpel.
186
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:07,680
There's so many con men about,
trying to rob old folks.
187
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,200
It's really scary.
188
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:12,240
As long as I'm keeping watch,
you have nothing to fear.
189
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,079
Thank you so much.
190
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:22,240
What would our city do
if it weren't for policemen like you?
191
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,560
At your service, ma'am.
192
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,160
Wait one moment.
193
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,240
This isn't for me. It's for you.
194
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,560
What a glorious day!
195
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,080
Time for a beer,
put the feet up on the table,
196
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,000
and let it all hang out.
197
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,120
Bruno is single by choice.
198
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,720
At least that's what he says.
199
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,000
No woman to chat his ears off
200
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,040
or worry about his liver
or cholesterol levels.
201
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,040
After all, he's not a wuss.
202
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,160
What a sissy.
203
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,960
Shit.
204
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,800
Happy birthday, you old champ.
205
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:22,360
Give every day a chance
to become the best day of your life.
206
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
What does it take
to be a good policeman?
207
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,240
A good policeman is a real man.
208
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,480
A real man knows what he wants.
209
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,240
He has no emotions, is not afraid,
never complains,
210
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,800
and makes decisions.
211
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,520
These stars...
212
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,800
You have to earn them, kid.
213
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,680
You have to work for them.
214
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,200
And when the time comes,
you wear them with pride.
215
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,280
A good policeman uses his fists
and never hesitates.
216
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,000
It can save lives.
217
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,680
Never hesitate.
218
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,400
Write that down.
219
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,240
"Never hesitate."
220
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,760
HOW TO BE A GOOD POLICE OFFICER?
221
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,560
NEVER HESITATE
222
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,560
We are the sheriffs of the street.
223
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,360
The keepers of the city.
224
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,240
We deserve respect.
225
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,880
-Fucking pigs!
-Hey!
226
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,840
Try that again, asshole,
and I'll put you behind bars.
227
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,080
POLICE DEPARTMENT 73
228
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,440
-Mornin'.
-Morning.
229
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,280
Survived your first day with Klöpel?
230
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,160
Sure, Dan.
231
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,480
The kid's learning how to be a good cop.
Of course he likes that.
232
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,280
Am I right, kid?
233
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,480
Berliner doughnut, anyone?
234
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,600
-Go on now.
-Thank you.
235
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,320
Bruno, you've been called
to Christopherstrasse.
236
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,800
Peter is already there.
237
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,760
What did you do this weekend, Susi?
238
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,920
It was my friend's birthday,
so we went out drinking.
239
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,200
-Just us girls.
-So you had a little dance?
240
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,840
-Shook your melons?
-Of course!
241
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,320
I'm glad I'm on patrol today,
so I don't have to listen to this.
242
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,320
-Wouldn't throw you out my bed, Nancy.
-Sure.
243
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,240
Inspector Vogel is right.
244
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,320
I won't tolerate sexism in my station.
245
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,840
Or I'll have to issue a warning.
Is that clear?
246
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,280
Fine. Let's go then.
247
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,480
Ciao, Bruno.
248
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,520
Bruno...
249
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,560
Look, www.thai-brides.com.
250
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,120
A marriage agency.
251
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,600
They take care
of all that visa business.
252
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,920
So, you get to try her first,
see if she's a good cleaner,
253
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,480
and other things,
if you know what I mean.
254
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,680
Of course you have to see
if she can handle the winter.
255
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,440
-And if it doesn't work?
-You get a guarantee.
256
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,440
You can swap.
257
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,600
With those mini-titties, I'd check
258
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,560
that she didn't bring a souvenir
in her panties.
259
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,240
You might've bought yourself a ladyboy.
260
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,400
I don't want to nag, but you need to go.
261
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,000
Sure, sure. We're off.
262
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,080
Chief. Come on, let's go, kid.
263
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,560
Thanks.
264
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:09,640
-We want to know what's going on here.
-Hello, Mister Cop? Hello?
265
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,240
Is it carnival?
What's with those colorful characters?
266
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,000
Follow me.
One of them's lying back there.
267
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,440
What a mess.
268
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:46,320
A garbage man found him.
269
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,560
He thought it was a mannequin
someone had thrown out.
270
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,880
-Beaten to death?
-I'd say a neck fracture.
271
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,960
This cut might look bad,
272
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,680
but it's not the cause of death.
273
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,480
I won't be able to say more
until after the autopsy.
274
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,160
Aren't you Jürgen's little boy?
275
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,320
Me? Yes, I am.
276
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,640
I knew your father well.
He was a decent guy.
277
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,480
Don't disgrace him.
278
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,280
Kid! Come look.
279
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,480
You can learn something.
280
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Here, dragging tracks.
281
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,240
Mr. Titties wasn't murdered here.
282
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,560
Someone dropped the body here.
283
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,600
Right. We're done here.
284
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,600
Already?
285
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,320
-Paws off!
-What's going on here?
286
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,640
Right on!
287
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,480
What's going on here?
288
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,320
Who's in charge here?
289
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,120
That's me,
290
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,080
ma'am.
291
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,560
-Can I help you?
-Absolutely.
292
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,600
I'm Lady Lovelyn and this is my club.
293
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,520
I demand to know what happened here.
294
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,240
Let's calm down first, young lady.
295
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,560
Is Sugar Candy back there?
Is this about Sugar Candy?
296
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:22,320
You know him?
297
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,600
Of course.
298
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,400
Sugar's one of my girls.
299
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,840
She performed here last night.
300
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,040
What happened? Was she...
301
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:34,480
...murdered? Presumably.
302
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,760
Tell me...
303
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,080
ma'am,
304
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,000
are you always dressed like this?
305
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:48,000
No, we don't always dress like this.
306
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,840
We met for a rehearsal.
307
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,120
Sugar didn't show up, and...
308
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,120
suddenly the police were everywhere.
309
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,480
You know what,
310
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,080
Lady Lovelyn?
311
00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:05,320
I think you'd better go home now,
312
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,680
make yourself a nice, calming tea,
313
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,440
and let us do our work.
314
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:11,920
We'll take care of it.
315
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,960
And you should look after your...
316
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,360
girls.
317
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,880
Thank you for all your effort, Mr...
318
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:24,040
Klöpel.
319
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,040
Police chief Klöpel.
320
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,720
How do we proceed now?
321
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,800
Should I make a witness list?
322
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:47,800
Why?
323
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,800
Our job is done here.
324
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,800
Oh, okay.
325
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,080
But won't the boss
expect us to investigate?
326
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,000
Firstly, the boss
isn't interested in sissies.
327
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,960
Secondly, murder is for those jerks
from the city.
328
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,520
I think what you need right now
is a lap.
329
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,160
A lap?
330
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,680
To cheer you up.
331
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,400
But first, we'll enjoy
a nice, cold beer.
332
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,120
We've earned it.
333
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,960
Neutral, kid. That's best.
334
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,640
Just smell of nothing.
335
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,280
Shower, clean your bells and whistles,
336
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:39,440
clean your toes and ears
with a washcloth,
337
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,360
brush your teeth, floss, mouthwash...
338
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,520
a glob of cream.
339
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,040
That's all.
340
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,320
And leave your hands alone
after you piss. Don't wash them.
341
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,040
You're a man.
342
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,440
Women go crazy when they smell
your big gun on your hands.
343
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,960
POLICE AWARD FOR
POLICE CHIEF BRUNO KLÖPEL
344
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,600
You need to be really subtle
with the chicks.
345
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,960
Their hormones will run wild.
346
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,480
Shit.
347
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,000
After all, we're all just animals.
348
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,800
Sometimes it helps me to sing.
349
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,040
Come on.
350
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,600
Joy, thou beauteous godly lightning
351
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,760
Daughter of Elysium
352
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:23,120
Fire drunken we are ent'ring
353
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:28,040
Heavenly, thy holy home!
354
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,200
When I can't...
355
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,240
I had a girlfriend once,
"Banging Tamara".
356
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,280
She was a hot devil.
357
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:44,120
She used to wear those pointy bras that
look like pyramids and drive me wild.
358
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,720
You know what I mean.
359
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,520
Right. Anyway...
360
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,840
After riding my joystick
she'd run to the bathroom
361
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,000
and scream something like, "My bladder
burns like the fires of hell!"
362
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,600
Now, 30 years later,
I know what she meant.
363
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,080
Chief, do you have a urinary infection?
364
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,320
Shouldn't you see a doctor about that?
365
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,080
Nowadays, chemotherapy
is really tolerable.
366
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,440
Of course it will be hard work.
367
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,160
You will lose your hair,
368
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,600
you may have problems with potency.
369
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,200
You will lose your appetite
and lose weight.
370
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:39,040
But your chances of recovering
from this type of cancer are good.
371
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,520
Did you hear me, Mr. Klöpel?
372
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:47,560
Mr. Klöpel?
373
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,000
You have prostate cancer.
374
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:53,600
Mr. Klöpel?
375
00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:00,440
This gorgeous head of hair
isn't going anywhere.
376
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,680
Dick cancer is for pussies.
377
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,240
Do I look like a pussy?
378
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:09,560
Nope.
379
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,200
So...
380
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,760
I won't die.
381
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,040
Not from dumbass dick cancer.
382
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,600
Chief, is everything okay?
383
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,080
I'm fine, kid.
384
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,440
Now let's go check out the ladies.
385
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,040
So you are the illustrious Mark.
386
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,360
What'll it be?
387
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,880
A piña colada , perhaps?
388
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,240
A bottle of bourbon for me
and my young friend.
389
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:06,720
So?
390
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,880
Which one's your favorite?
391
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,640
What?
392
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,440
Which lady do you want to mount,
young stallion?
393
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:18,800
Don't take too long.
394
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,240
Wait too long
and they grab all the best ones.
395
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:22,440
So...
396
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,360
Good choice.
397
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,520
I wouldn't mind smearing
some jam on those dumplings myself.
398
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,000
-What?
-Go on then.
399
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,960
Go saddle up that horse.
400
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,520
Right. Okay.
401
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,160
And you?
402
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,720
-Is Alice in?
-No.
403
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,720
I'll leave the boy to it then.
404
00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:15,480
You wear gorgeous lingerie.
405
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,080
Claret would look great on you too,
or lilac.
406
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,080
Are we really going to talk
about my panties?
407
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,199
No, sorry.
408
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,480
Honey, you know that you're
as gay as a picnic basket?
409
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:31,920
So what are you doing here?
410
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:38,880
Ah, I see.
411
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,719
Well then, grab my ass.
412
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,920
-What?
-Go on, grab it.
413
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,680
That's my boy.
414
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,560
Hey, asshole.
415
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,160
Wanna lose more teeth?
416
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:10,400
Because of you jerks, Jenny left me.
417
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:11,800
And she took the kid.
418
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,040
If I were her,
I'd have cut off your little pecker too,
419
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,120
so you can't make more brats.
420
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,480
Take it easy now.
421
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,760
Leave it.
422
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:27,720
Hey, stop it!
423
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,880
Shut up! This is between me
and this sack of shit.
424
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:35,600
Listen, I just want to drink my bourbon
in peace and admire some fine asses.
425
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:36,760
Understood?
426
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:41,640
Really?
427
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,200
-Aren't you going to do something?
-Me?
428
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,840
He's your colleague.
429
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,720
Sure, but I...
430
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,120
Okay, don't hesitate.
431
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:56,320
Don't hesitate.
432
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,040
Police, put that knife down.
433
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,560
Put the knife down.
434
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:09,400
Put the damn knife down!
435
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,800
What do you want, kid?
436
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:14,840
Go on, get out of here!
437
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,600
Have fun in prison.
438
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,920
Don't drop the soap!
439
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:33,560
Asshole.
440
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:36,960
Thanks, kid.
441
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,160
You'll be a fine cop one day.
442
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,720
-Me?
-Sure thing.
443
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,600
You saved my ass.
444
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,200
Hi, baby.
445
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,040
How was your day?
446
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:30,440
Good.
447
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,600
-Do you know...
-...how hot I look?
448
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,840
I have a date.
449
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,800
With James McDolphin.
450
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,160
James McDolphin?
451
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,280
I know what you're going to say.
452
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,520
I know, but this time he's the one.
453
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,000
And where did you meet him?
454
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,600
We talked on the phone for hours.
455
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,440
So from the internet again.
456
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,800
Baby, trust me.
457
00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:00,800
I feel it. He's my soulmate.
458
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,280
Grab a bite to eat.
459
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:07,640
I tried something new.
460
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:09,560
Colombian.
461
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,200
Corn soup.
462
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,960
Bye, baby! See you later.
463
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,640
There's a heat wave coming.
464
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,040
Tomorrow, expect 36 degrees Celsius.
465
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,760
We might even break 40...
466
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:40,240
-Good evening.
-Yep.
467
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,800
He almost didn't recognize her.
468
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,360
In all those clothes.
469
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:02,320
With her hair pinned up
and without make-up.
470
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,200
And he finds her beautiful. Like...
471
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:08,760
-Like...
-Like morning dew on a blade of grass.
472
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:10,920
Excuse me?
473
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,080
Alice.
474
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:15,480
We met at the club.
475
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,200
I'm Bruno.
476
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,800
Bruno Klöpel, the police officer.
477
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,920
How about we go
have a drink together sometime?
478
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,400
I mean, not at the club.
479
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:29,600
Here.
480
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,160
My phone number is on it.
481
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,160
I really don't have much time.
482
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,000
Kasper?
483
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,520
Hello, kid.
484
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,480
-Kids...
-Don't touch him. He hates men.
485
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:53,080
Aren't they cute?
486
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:57,640
Let go of me!
487
00:39:57,720 --> 00:39:59,600
-Stop! Kasper!
-Let go!
488
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:00,840
Kasper, stop!
489
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,240
I'm so sorry.
490
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,920
Kasper, how often do I have to tell you
that you can't just bite people?
491
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,080
I'm really sorry.
492
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:12,720
How about we...
493
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,200
have a drink together to make up for it?
494
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:23,160
Okay. I'll call you.
495
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,520
Great.
496
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,160
I can't wait!
497
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:48,600
Good morning, you jerks!
498
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,640
This little devil
saved my posterior yesterday.
499
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,560
I'm buying a round.
How about we go bowling tonight?
500
00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,200
Bruno...
501
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:01,720
What's wrong with you?
502
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,000
You should go see the boss.
503
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:19,600
Where's the boss?
504
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,800
Sit down.
505
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,880
-What the hell is this?
-Klöpel, am I right?
506
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,840
Bo Henschemeier,
police instructor in Afghanistan,
507
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,960
currently with the domestic police.
508
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,400
Let me tell you where your boss went.
509
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:43,840
Please sit down.
510
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:56,040
Commissioner Hohlbein
was hospitalized after a heart attack.
511
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,480
A heart attack that struck him
in a delicate situation
512
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,280
while in bed with a young Thai woman.
513
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:08,840
They also found cocaine on him,
so he was suspended from duty.
514
00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:15,360
I've done my homework
on you and your colleagues.
515
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,200
I know exactly what goes on
in this department.
516
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,560
I know guys like you.
517
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:27,360
Always know just what to say, right?
518
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:30,560
Whistle at a woman here,
grab an ass there.
519
00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:32,960
But it's really nothing.
520
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,800
She should be happy with the attention.
521
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,440
Let me promise you one thing.
522
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,200
I will clean this place up.
523
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,840
Does that amuse you, Klöpel?
524
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,040
-Absolutely.
-I never joke.
525
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:48,800
I eat guys like you for breakfast.
526
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,560
I'm hard to digest, ma'am.
527
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,480
70 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
528
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,240
I don't chew, I gulp.
529
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,760
Give me one good reason
why I shouldn't suspend you too.
530
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,960
I know that your methods
are beyond good and evil.
531
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,560
Let me tell you
how things work around here.
532
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,480
We work things out ourselves.
533
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,160
Like real men.
534
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,560
And one other thing...
535
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:22,520
I know every critter here,
from the garbage man to the mayor.
536
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,840
This hood has been under my control
for 20 years now.
537
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:30,600
If someone as much as farts too loudly,
I'm the first to find out.
538
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,280
I'm the sheriff here.
539
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,720
Just try and get rid of me.
540
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,880
Good luck.
541
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,360
Come on, kid. Let's go.
542
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,720
Just a moment, Klöpel.
543
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:49,320
I actually just remembered something.
544
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:56,280
If you really are such a great cowboy,
here's your chance to prove it.
545
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:58,720
You...
546
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,480
are taking over the case
of the murdered drag queen.
547
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:12,520
I'm afraid I'm not responsible for that.
548
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,560
That's for Homicide, from the city.
549
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:22,440
What a pity. I would have enjoyed
spending more time with those peacocks.
550
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,920
You know,
the thing about those Berliners...
551
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:28,320
They've got their hands full
with their own shit.
552
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:32,960
Until they get here, you will show me
how real men handle things.
553
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:38,280
If I catch you making
even the smallest misstep,
554
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,960
if there's even the slightest hiccup,
555
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:45,400
I will kick you out so hard
there will be nothing left of you.
556
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,040
I won't even leave a trace
of the memory of Bruno Klöpel.
557
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,840
Or are you refusing the job?
38425
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