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1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:05,137
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,750
MAN (on TV): Mrs. Carson, I
don't think we have a lot of time.
3
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,120
WOMAN (crying): No.
No, Val, no. Please.
4
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,689
Please don't go, Val.
5
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:34,926
(enormous thud)
6
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,928
(indistinct conversation on TV)
7
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,901
(enormous thud)
8
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:45,237
(debris falling)
9
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,374
(enormous thud)
10
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,679
(vehicles passing)
11
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:09,261
Jim!
12
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,297
Hey, hey, Jim, what
in the world happened?
13
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:18,236
Well, did you ever have
one of those mornings?
14
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:23,008
You know, the kind
when a big steel ball
15
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:26,110
comes crashing
through your apartment?
16
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,412
You mean a wrecking ball?
17
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,881
Yeah, yeah, I'll say.
18
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,283
It demolished the place.
19
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,187
They tore down your building
without even warning you?
20
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,656
Well,
21
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,859
you put up with a
few inconveniences
22
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:44,629
when you live in a
condemned building.
23
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,465
ALEX: Hey, Jim,
24
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,132
you look exhausted.
25
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,501
Why don't you go some
place and get some sleep?
26
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,371
Ah, good idea, Alex.
27
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,547
Good night, Alex.
28
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,316
LOUIE: Forget it, Iggy.
29
00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,451
You can't stay here.
30
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,453
What-what kind of a guy
are you? LOUIE: No way!
31
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,065
No way! No way! The
guy wants some rest.
32
00:03:10,089 --> 00:03:12,324
Come on, boss, help me out!
33
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,092
He can't sleep in the garage.
34
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,260
Oh. Oh, great,
great. Boy, you...
35
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,729
You-you want it from him, huh?
36
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,365
He's the last person in the
world that'd help you out.
37
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,866
I don't want him staying here.
38
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,601
Let him stay at your
apartment, Reiger.
39
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,571
Yeah.
40
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:31,143
Well, what are friends for?
41
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:32,678
Yeah.
42
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,079
(laughs)
43
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,147
Why not?
44
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,982
Why not let him stay with you?
45
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,384
Or you?
46
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,552
Or you?
47
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:43,521
LOUIE: Or you?
48
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,959
Well, now, you're a
great bunch of pals.
49
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,894
ALEX: One of us
would love to have him.
50
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,061
Yeah. LOUIE: Oh.
51
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,329
Wouldn't one of us?
52
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,497
Yeah. To have him?
53
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,199
Sure, one of us would.
54
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,234
So, who's it gonna be?
55
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,636
(wry chuckle)
56
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,282
Hey, Iggy, you'd be a
good guest, wouldn't you?
57
00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:03,342
Well, sometimes I leave
the cap off the toothpaste.
58
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,609
Oh.
59
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:06,712
I forget to wipe my feet,
60
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,714
and I usually scream
61
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,049
for several hours in my sleep.
62
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,654
I don't mind a little screaming
63
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,490
in the middle of
the night. Do you?
64
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,125
What else are friends for?
65
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:24,228
So... who's taking Iggy home?
66
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,364
Well, I, you know...
67
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,066
Well, um...
68
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,668
You-you want to draw lots?
69
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,003
ALEX: No. No, no, no, no.
70
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,170
That's not the problem.
71
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,438
That's not the problem, Jim.
72
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,206
The problem is, we'd
all love to have you.
73
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,786
Yeah. That's right, all
of us. That's the problem
74
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:40,178
Well, look, let me
make it easy for you.
75
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:43,215
Iggy, if you had
your choice... Uh-huh.
76
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,716
Of all your friends,
77
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:49,554
which one would
you like to stay with?
78
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,857
JIM (sighing): Uh...
79
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:57,429
promise there won't
be any hurt feelings
80
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,766
if I pick my best buddy?
81
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:04,702
Oy... Oh, that sounds fair.
82
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,371
That couldn't be fairer. Yeah.
83
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,939
Then it's settled.
84
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:09,340
I'll be the perfect guest.
85
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,508
It's you, boss.
86
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,510
(funny groan)
87
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,815
Well, that sounds
like a good choice.
88
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,083
Yeah. (Louie grumbling)
89
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,051
TONY: See you, Louie.
Wait, wait. Wait, wait.
90
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,620
Wait. See you later now.
91
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,088
See you, guys.
92
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:26,791
Thanks for bailing me out, boss.
93
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,527
Hey, dirt face, I'm
not your best friend.
94
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,495
Oh, yes, you are. No.
95
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,198
Look who just
came through for me.
96
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,399
No, no, no, no, no.
97
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:37,168
If we didn't live in a society
98
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:40,472
that got hung up on the fear
99
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,641
of members of the same sex
100
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:45,477
sharing mutual
affection for each other,
101
00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,113
I'd kiss you full on the mouth.
102
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,114
Yuck!
103
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:55,586
Apparently, the thought
makes you uncomfortable.
104
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:58,856
Well, let's forget it and
go home. No, no, no.
105
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,236
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
106
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,537
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
107
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,239
Come on, come on, come
on. No, no, no, no, no, no.
108
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,407
Relax. Come on. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
109
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,063
No, no, no. Come on.
110
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,766
Hey, get your hands off of me!
111
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,501
Okay. Get out!
112
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,542
How's married life, Latka?
113
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:18,709
Oh, it's fine.
114
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,011
I like it very much.
115
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:23,314
I like the frequent sex, and
116
00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:27,551
Sim-Simka is a very good cook.
117
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,020
She wants me to...
118
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:33,525
to ask you all you can
come to dinner on June 15?
119
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,493
Why June 15?
120
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,996
Okay, well, how about tonight?
121
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,598
(Louie grunts)
122
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,971
It wasn't so bad.
123
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,740
We played pool.
124
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,208
We went to sleep.
125
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:51,375
He screamed.
126
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,377
We went back to sleep.
127
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:56,547
Uh, what's going on?
128
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:57,949
Oh, nothing much.
129
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:00,718
Latka invited everybody to
his house for dinner tonight
130
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,386
with him and his wife.
131
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,123
Oh, boy.
132
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,558
Latka's in really good
spirits lately, ain't he?
133
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,327
Yeah, he sure looks happy.
134
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,495
(Jeff chuckles) (whistling)
135
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,165
You know, I don't,
uh, feel out of line
136
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:16,067
saying this, uh, Jeff, because,
137
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:18,169
uh, well, we-we, uh, you know,
138
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:21,005
we worked side by side,
you know, for a long time.
139
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,373
You become pretty close?
140
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,675
Yeah. Pals?
141
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,143
Um, I think, uh,
you ought to think
142
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:28,780
about getting married
and settling down.
143
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,515
I am married, Louie.
144
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:34,452
Well, hey, congratulations!
145
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,753
When did this happen?
146
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,856
About 11 years ago.
147
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,325
Congratulations again.
148
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,759
And, uh, uh... and, uh,
149
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,362
pass that along to missus, uh...
150
00:07:44,431 --> 00:07:47,799
Bennett. My last
name is Bennett, Louie.
151
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,868
I knew that. I knew that.
152
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,102
Phew!
153
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,237
Hey, Alex, it's for you.
154
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,106
Who is it? I don't know.
155
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,295
The guy's screaming and
sobbing so loud, I can't tell.
156
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,845
Hello?
157
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:02,947
No, no, no, come on.
158
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,916
Come on, Jim. Nothing
could be that bad.
159
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,084
What is it?
160
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,552
No. Just-just tell
me what happened.
161
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:11,322
Ji... Jim, you're
at Louie's, right?
162
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,324
All-all right, I'll,
I'll be right there.
163
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,634
(knocking)
164
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,071
Who is it?
165
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,572
It's me, Alex.
166
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,642
Oh!
167
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,010
Hi, Alex.
168
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:37,916
Hi, Ji... Oh, my God!
169
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,953
Then it's noticeable!
170
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,155
I knew it!
171
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,158
Jim! Jim! Jim!
172
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:50,861
What the hell happened here?
173
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,096
Well, it's the old story.
174
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,297
I was smoking in bed.
175
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,699
And you fell asleep?
176
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,701
No. I didn't notice the flames
177
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,203
consuming the apartment.
178
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,472
Jim!
179
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,207
I left something
burning on the stove.
180
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:03,608
Oh, my God!
181
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,711
Oh, my God in heaven,
look at this place!
182
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,713
Oh, I-I don't...
183
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,948
What do you think is
gonna happen, Alex?
184
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:14,285
Do you think Louie's
gonna be upset?
185
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:17,355
The question is, is whether
he'll kill you or not. Oh...
186
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,390
Holy mackerel!
187
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,225
Everything Louie owns
has been destroyed!
188
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,695
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
189
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:25,396
That's not true.
190
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,631
I'll fix it up.
191
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,799
I'll work hard.
192
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,033
You'll help me. Huh?
193
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,502
There's a lot we can
do in a few hours.
194
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,671
What are you talking about?
195
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,573
Uh, some paint,
uh, some wallpaper,
196
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,176
a few flowers
discreetly placed about.
197
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,311
Jim.
198
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,013
It's gonna be okay.
199
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,648
Yeah, well, all-all
right. Right, Alex?
200
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:44,927
Alex, isn't it gonna be
okay? Yeah, yeah, okay.
201
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,095
Right, Alex, tell me
it's gonna be fine.
202
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,496
No, no, no, no. Jim, Jim,
calm down, calm down.
203
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,032
Isn't it gonna be okay,
Alex? Calm down, calm down.
204
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,000
Alex, please, is it gonna
be okay? Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim...
205
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,823
Alex. Calm... calm... calm...
206
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:55,426
calm... Now, don't panic.
207
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,628
You hear me?
208
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,630
Don't panic!
209
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,702
You're right, Alex.
210
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,743
The thing to do is to calm down
211
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:15,380
and rationally
assess the situation.
212
00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:21,819
Everything's gonna be okay.
213
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,056
(screaming)
214
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,291
No, no, Jim, Jim,
Jim, please. Jim.
215
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,293
Easy, easy, easy, easy.
216
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,066
(man whistling)
217
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,635
JIM: I think I hear him coming.
218
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:38,870
(whistling continues)
219
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,338
Oh, my God.
220
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,740
(door opening) LOUIE:
Oh, Iggy, I'm home!
221
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,108
What are you cooking?
222
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,376
(groans)
223
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,116
Uh...
224
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,421
Uh, boss... (clears throat)
225
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,290
I owe you an apology.
226
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:07,332
Just keep in mind that material
227
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,501
possessions are
simply excess baggage
228
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,569
on the journey of life.
229
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:18,910
Everything I own is destroyed!
230
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:21,713
(hollow note plays)
231
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,715
(clack)
232
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,186
Louie, Louie, Louie, Jim
had a horrible accident.
233
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,889
I mean, I-I know it's
a terrible loss for you,
234
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:33,324
but, uh, thank God
nobody was hurt.
235
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,326
What?
236
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:40,498
Thank God nobody was hurt?
237
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,833
Thank God that this man
238
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:44,869
who just destroyed
everything I ever owned...
239
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,437
No, no, no, no, no...
240
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,351
in my life was not killed!
Was not killed! Louie! Louie!
241
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,408
Was not killed. Not
everything was destroyed, boss.
242
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,243
Not everything.
243
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,646
Louie... (growling)
244
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:59,683
I saved your most
prized possession.
245
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,491
See, boss?
246
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,862
Your beloved violin.
247
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:18,069
JIM: The only irreplaceable
thing in your life.
248
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,072
I risked my life...
249
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,242
to see that it wasn't hurt.
250
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,280
My violin.
251
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:36,754
He treasures that more
than anything in the world.
252
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:48,566
Good thing I didn't
save the piano.
253
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,472
Look what you've done!
254
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,309
My apartment...
255
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,845
my life... everything's gone.
256
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,816
My bumper pool table!
257
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,819
(crying): My... my rug.
258
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,756
My TV.
259
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,058
(switch clicks)
260
00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,228
(switch clicks)
261
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:27,771
My Time Life books
on the great lizards.
262
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,911
Ma's needlepoint pillow.
263
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,947
(crying)
264
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,752
LOUIE: Oh...
265
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:45,756
My photographs.
266
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,761
My piano, my-my photographs,
267
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,931
my TV, my books.
268
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,800
My-my bumper
pool set is destroyed!
269
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,801
Not all of it, boss.
270
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,804
These two pool balls are okay.
271
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,306
Don't cry, boss.
272
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,308
Please, don't cry.
273
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,609
Here.
274
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,613
(screams) Oh!
275
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,682
Out!
276
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,684
Get out! Out! Get out!
277
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,686
I never want to see
your face again. Boss...
278
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,021
You're fired!
279
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,023
You're fired!
280
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,798
Hey, Lou, Lou...
281
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,177
I mean, Lord knows,
this is a terrible...
282
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,467
You get out, too!
283
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,469
Hey, Louie... Out,
out, out, out, out!
284
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,246
I can't believe this happened.
285
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:55,192
Louie, Louie... Leave me alone!
286
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,705
♪ ♪
287
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,249
Boss...
288
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:25,089
I feel terrible about
what happened.
289
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,794
I came here to give you this.
290
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,366
Nothing is gonna change my mind.
291
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,700
Nothing, you understand?
292
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,102
Now get out of here!
293
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,309
Guess I'll go and get my things.
294
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,080
Boy...
295
00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:53,083
I'm really gonna
miss this place.
296
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,889
It was wonderful
working with you guys.
297
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,458
Okay, Jim.
298
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,593
Hey, Jim... Huh?
299
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,595
We'll try to find something
for you, you know,
300
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,463
like a-a another job
or, uh... TONY: Yeah.
301
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,501
Well... nah.
302
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,504
It's back in the streets for me.
303
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,506
Don't you see?
304
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:21,278
I was a success here
not because of the job,
305
00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,714
but because of
that man over there.
306
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,684
He yelled at me.
307
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:30,821
He abused me, but
he made me work!
308
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:35,793
Where else am I gonna
find a guy like Louie?
309
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:39,296
Try Amityville.
310
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,535
Louie, aren't you even
gonna look at this?
311
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,036
No!
312
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,038
JIM: If you won't read it,
313
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,040
at least let Alex
read it to you.
314
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,477
If it touches you, good.
315
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,479
If it doesn't, not another word.
316
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,648
I'll just disappear.
317
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:01,752
"Dear Boss"...
(harmonica playing)
318
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:05,957
"Dear Boss.
319
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,959
"I always..."
320
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:12,429
"I always swore I'd never
ask my father for money,"
321
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,431
"even though he has a lot..."
322
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,170
"But I hoped in some way,
323
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,338
"money might make
up for your loss.
324
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,340
"So, even if you
never forgive me,"
325
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:26,043
"I hope you'll accept
the enclosed check."
326
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:28,479
"With all best wishes for you,"
327
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,682
"dictated but not read,
James Ignatowski."
328
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,751
Hey, look at this,
there's a check...
329
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,754
Hey, Jim, I don't want
to criticize your old man,
330
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,255
but what good is this check?
331
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,605
I mean, he signed it, but
he forgot to fill in the amount.
332
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,093
A blank check?
333
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:44,228
(thump)
334
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,230
Let me see that!
335
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,432
You can't give a blank
check to Louie! Give me that.
336
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,434
That's okay, Elaine.
337
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,437
Dad said Louie
338
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:56,541
could make it out
for whatever amount
339
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,576
he thought was fair.
340
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:03,080
I told dad he could
trust your sense of honor.
341
00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:08,085
That he can.
342
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,092
Would you believe it?
343
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,528
I'm salivating.
344
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,064
Ha, I'm actually salivating.
345
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,035
Boss? Yeah.
346
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,037
Does that mean you forgive me?
347
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,372
I forgive you, Iggy.
348
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,706
Can I have my job back?
349
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,208
You can have your job back.
350
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,710
Does it mean you love me again?
351
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,278
I didn't love you before.
352
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:36,080
It's like old times.
353
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:41,519
Boss, you just
make out that check
354
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,521
for whatever amount you want.
355
00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,856
Except... Except? What except?
356
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:46,925
How come except?
357
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,560
Except that I have
to call my dad,
358
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,230
and tell him the amount
so he can cover it.
359
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,231
Mmm.
360
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,233
Yeah.
361
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,402
All right.
362
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,906
Ah, now I want complete silence
363
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:07,778
while I figure
out... the amount.
364
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:10,447
(growling)
365
00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,484
(growling)
366
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,820
Jim! Are you crazy?
367
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,189
He's gonna fill that
out for a million dollars!
368
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:22,192
That's why you're
a cabdriver, Reiger.
369
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:25,195
If I fill this check out
for a million bucks,
370
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,465
his dad would never cover it.
371
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,367
But there is a figure,
372
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:35,372
an exact figure,
one that's big enough
373
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:39,076
so that he'll go... (shudders)
374
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:45,382
But not so big that
he won't say, "Well!"
375
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,787
Why don't you try the real
figure, $8,000 or $9,000?
376
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,789
(laughs hysterically)
377
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,131
ELAINE: Look at him.
378
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,467
Eight or nine, eight or nine...
379
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,703
Jim, why are you laughing?
380
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,972
'Cause the boss is so happy.
381
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,973
Yeah, yeah!
382
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,909
Let's see what
we got here, Iggy.
383
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:12,910
Come on.
384
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,912
(mumbling)
385
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,714
All right.
386
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:17,782
All right, now.
387
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,249
$50,000.
388
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:20,851
No, no, no,
389
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,719
that's too high,
that's too high.
390
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,655
He'll never go for that. Never.
391
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,989
40... 48.
392
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,326
If I say 48, he'll think 50,
393
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,160
and he won't go for it. Uh-huh.
394
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,495
If I say 47,
395
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,030
he'll think 48, he'll think 50,
396
00:20:33,099 --> 00:20:34,265
he won't go for it.
397
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,600
If I say 46, he'll think 47,
398
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,268
he'll think 48, he'll think 50,
399
00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,603
he won't go for it.
400
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:40,838
If I say 45,
401
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,907
he'll say 46... Louie!
402
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,908
So, we rule out the 40s.
403
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:50,914
39,999.
404
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,249
No!
405
00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,084
It's no good! It's too high.
406
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,252
He'll go nuts.
407
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,321
He won't pay it.
408
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:57,355
All right.
409
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,589
Now, let's see.
410
00:20:59,658 --> 00:21:02,626
$24,000.
411
00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,129
$8,000.
412
00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:11,235
In there, somewhere
in there, 24... eight.
413
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,770
You know, in its own way,
this is kind of spellbinding.
414
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:22,145
All right, $20,000...
20,000... $26,000.
415
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,847
Oh, wait a minute!
416
00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:24,916
14,000!
417
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:28,318
And here, 24.
418
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:29,387
Wait!
419
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,687
27,000!
420
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,423
27,000, that's it!
421
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,557
Call your father.
422
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,592
$27,000. That's it!
423
00:21:35,662 --> 00:21:36,761
TONY: Are you sure, Louie?
424
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,763
I-I gotta see it on paper.
425
00:21:39,832 --> 00:21:42,767
$27,000.
426
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,769
What's that look
like to you, Banta?
427
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:47,772
I've never seen that much
money in one place before.
428
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,040
It's too much.
429
00:21:49,108 --> 00:21:50,674
He'll never pay
that. Wait! Wait!
430
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:51,976
Wait! Wait.
431
00:21:52,045 --> 00:22:00,045
24,000... 23,000...
22,000... 20... 20...
432
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,753
27,000! 27!
433
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,755
It's what I said
the first time! 27.
434
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,256
Tell him 27.
435
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,125
27,000.
436
00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:11,828
29,000.
437
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:14,665
29,000.
438
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,834
540.
439
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,837
540.
440
00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:22,139
That's right.
441
00:22:22,207 --> 00:22:24,174
Twenty-nine thousand...
442
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,743
five hundred and forty.
443
00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:26,811
Two! Two!
444
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:30,947
Uh, twenty-nine
thousand five hundred
445
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,450
and forty-two.
446
00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:36,887
Okeydoke.
447
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:38,154
Bye, Dad.
448
00:22:38,223 --> 00:22:41,157
Uh, Dad, I love you.
449
00:22:41,226 --> 00:22:42,325
(phone clicks)
450
00:22:42,394 --> 00:22:44,327
Hello?
451
00:22:45,397 --> 00:22:47,330
Hello?
452
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:50,334
Huh? Did he okay it?
453
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:52,335
He sure did, boss. He okayed it!
454
00:22:52,405 --> 00:22:53,837
He okayed it! Congratulations!
455
00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,872
He okayed it!
456
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:58,876
Let's have three cheers
for the human torch!
457
00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:00,544
(three puffs)
458
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:02,780
Phew!
459
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:04,782
Boy, dad was relieved!
460
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,951
He said he was afraid
461
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:09,553
it was gonna be
something like $200,000.
462
00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,054
(grunts)
463
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,991
Look at him.
464
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,829
He's overcome with
emotion, just like I am.
465
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,331
Damn it!
466
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,667
That kiss is gonna happen
sometimes, and you know it.
467
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:27,104
Get over here.
468
00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:29,707
Come on, come on.
469
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:30,775
Come on, come on.
470
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:32,843
Come on. (mumbles) ...2,000.
471
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:34,845
Let the world talk.
472
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,446
Come on.
473
00:23:36,515 --> 00:23:38,448
Get away from me!
474
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,728
(theme song playing)
475
00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:15,318
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!
476
00:24:15,388 --> 00:24:16,388
(man grumbling)
30994
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