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1
00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:04,103
(theme music plays)
2
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,301
♪ ♪
3
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I just passed
Latka on my way in.
4
00:01:25,852 --> 00:01:27,786
Guess who he is today?
5
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,621
Poor Latka.
6
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:30,689
I'll give you a hint.
7
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,658
He's wearing Savage
Leather cologne.
8
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Oh, no, not him.
9
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,227
(humming)
10
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,670
(as Vic): Hey,
beautiful co-workers.
11
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,773
What a day it is to be
young, gifted and Vic.
12
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,045
You know, I'm
getting used to Latka
13
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,679
with these multiple
personalities,
14
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:58,116
but when he's Vic, he's
such a slimy lounge lizard.
15
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,784
Hiya, gorgeous.
16
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,687
With exquisite taste.
17
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:03,955
What?
18
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:08,193
Oh, wow, bum me out again, man.
19
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:10,896
Oh-oh. Oh, look at this, I'm
not touching this machine.
20
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,530
Latka? I mean, Vic?
21
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,531
Yeah?
22
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:14,733
Something wrong?
23
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,267
Look at this. I mean, look.
24
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,536
I'm sorry to lose my
mellow, but I mean,
25
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:19,938
I'm just getting sick and tired
26
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,175
of that little foreign
wimp, Latka Gravas.
27
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,442
Pardon me?
28
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,645
Look, I know you two are
tight, but look at this engine!
29
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,248
Look at this. It's
filthy, it's a disgrace.
30
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:31,750
I'm not touching that.
31
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,763
Well, I wouldn't dress a
wound in there, but... Hey, look,
32
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,988
is it fair that I have to do
both his work and mine?
33
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:38,256
Well, offhand, I would
say no, but, uh, I, I...
34
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:40,091
Would you please
do me a favor? What?
35
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,627
Why don't you take little
Captain Crud aside sometime
36
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,696
and teach him how
to operate a rag, okay?
37
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,464
You want me to
talk to him for you?
38
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,966
Yeah, I mean I
would do it myself...
39
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,879
No, say no more, say no
more. I'm confused enough.
40
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,036
I'll talk to him.
41
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:54,172
Hey, thanks, man.
You're a guy and a half.
42
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,775
And you're at least that.
43
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,611
Hey, guys, guess what?
I got a great new job!
44
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:00,946
Congratulations.
45
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,315
What are you going to be,
a door-to-door simpleton?
46
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,817
Listen to this. I went to
the employment agency
47
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,919
just to see what
they had... Uh-huh?
48
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,088
The guy sends me on an
interview, and I get the job!
49
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,657
Oh, you're leaving us?
50
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,403
Oh, no, no, no, I'm gonna
work here, too. It's just part-time.
51
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,560
A couple nights a week.
52
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,005
Yeah, a little extra
money can't hurt.
53
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,869
Oh, no, I'm not doing
this for the money, Alex.
54
00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:19,164
I need a change in my life.
55
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,731
I'm getting tired
of driving a cab,
56
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,867
sitting all day in a cab,
driving people all day,
57
00:03:22,902 --> 00:03:24,536
every day, day after day.
58
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,503
So what's the new job?
59
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,838
I'm gonna be a chauffeur.
60
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,742
Talk about the
Renaissance man. (chuckles)
61
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,011
Great, Tony, go for
it and don't look back.
62
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,012
Who hired you?
63
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,480
Oh, I haven't met her yet,
64
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,593
but it's supposed to be some
rich lady named Longworth.
65
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,851
That's great, Banta.
You be nice to her,
66
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,686
and maybe she'll let
you walk her poodles.
67
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,689
Be real nice to her, maybe
she'll let you eat with them.
68
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:55,167
(as Latka): Time to put my
nose back on the grindstone.
69
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,202
A-okay.
70
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,339
Oh, uh, Latka?
71
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:02,540
Yes, what is it, Alex?
72
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:03,942
Good. Uh...
73
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:07,712
I uh, I'm really not sure
how to say this, Latka,
74
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:11,683
uh, but, uh, I promised Vic
that I would mention to you
75
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,952
that he thinks that
your engine is dirty.
76
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:18,323
Oh, well, then, uh, let's
take a look and see, all right?
77
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:22,027
Eh, what do you see?
78
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,062
I see a lot of grease and oil.
79
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,964
Oh, my! What a surprise.
80
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,303
Grease and oil in an engine?
Are my eyes deceiving me?
81
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:36,007
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
82
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,375
Oh, oh, oh!
83
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:43,649
Listen, Vic is a fussbudget
and a pain in the yaktabe.
84
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,285
Like I said, I promised
him that I'd mention it to you.
85
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,754
Oh, well I understand,
and I appreciate it.
86
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,722
And now you mention
this to him for me.
87
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:55,228
I can't say that.
88
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:57,829
All right. Well, then
mention this to him.
89
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,998
Ah, better.
90
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,900
That's more to
the point, better.
91
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,276
I can't wait to drive this car.
92
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,444
Wow. Look at it.
93
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:13,612
(whistles)
94
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,979
Beautiful.
95
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,315
Oh, yeah.
96
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,716
Oh, I've got the door.
97
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,518
Don't bother.
98
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,320
Mrs. Longworth?
99
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:22,554
Miss.
100
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,122
Oh, you can call me Christina.
101
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,290
And you're?
102
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,559
Very grateful.
103
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:28,794
Oh, you mean my name.
104
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,228
My name... My name is, uh...
105
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,663
My name. My name is Anthony.
106
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,632
Anthony.
107
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:42,107
Anthony, is something wrong?
108
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,442
If there is, I can't
see it from here.
109
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:47,445
Uh, I mean, nothing's
wrong, ma'am, nothing.
110
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,813
Everything is fine.
111
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:52,284
And it was nice of you to ask.
112
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:55,253
And if there is anything
wrong, don't be afraid to tell me,
113
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:58,089
because I'm new at this, and
you know, I might screw up.
114
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,535
(sotto voce): "Screw
up." I don't believe it.
115
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:02,027
Well, there is something.
116
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,329
Oh, no. The hat.
I'm sorry, ma'am.
117
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,175
I know I should have
taken it off before you got in.
118
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,332
Where are my manners? Damn!
119
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,500
Oh, I'm sorry about "damn."
120
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,667
Anthony,
121
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,503
the only thing I was
going to suggest
122
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,738
is that you just
relax a little bit.
123
00:06:13,773 --> 00:06:16,107
I mean, I realize
you're new at this job,
124
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,675
but, really, you're
doing just fine.
125
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,978
Well... thank you.
126
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:23,314
In fact, I think
you could so far
127
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,183
as to pull away
from the curb now.
128
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,586
TONY: Yes, ma'am.
129
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,290
Now, then, tell me.
130
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,692
Which do you prefer,
Anthony or Tony?
131
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,894
I guess I prefer Tony, ma'am.
132
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:42,434
And which do you prefer,
uh, Christina or Peggy?
133
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:46,504
Tony, Peggy is a
nickname for Margaret.
134
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:47,939
My nickname is Tina.
135
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,308
Oh. I'm always getting
those two mixed. I'm sorry...
136
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:51,977
Actually, everyone
calls me Christina.
137
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,144
Yeah.
138
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,546
Except my brother...
who calls me collect.
139
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,315
(laughing)
140
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:58,483
(sighs)
141
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:00,585
Am I still doing
good as a chauffeur?
142
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,420
Oh I think you're
doing very well.
143
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,655
Oh. I think so, too.
144
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,092
I mean, it's, it's sort
of like driving a cab.
145
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,926
I mean, a lot
classier, you know.
146
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:11,529
But I feel right at home
here in this limousine.
147
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,064
(horn blaring, tires screeching)
148
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,033
Hey, you, suck eggs!
149
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,869
I'm sorry.
150
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,737
I mean, uh... I mean, uh...
151
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:23,008
I mean, exercise some
caution, will you, fellow?
152
00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,284
Yeah, Alex. I'm outside the
governor's mansion right now.
153
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:35,453
It's the classiest
party I ever heard.
154
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,355
(band playing slow
jazz in distance)
155
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,457
No, no, I can't see
nothing from here.
156
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,659
Yeah, but I met some
real important people.
157
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,628
Well, I don't want
to brag, Alex.
158
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,563
Well, but just to
mention a few...
159
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:48,065
The governor's chauffeur,
the mayor's chauffeur.
160
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,301
Yeah, it's a regular who's who.
161
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:51,803
Hey, Alex, I got to go.
162
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,037
I'll talk to you later.
163
00:07:53,072 --> 00:07:54,205
CHRISTINA: Tony, we're going
164
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,374
to drop Mr. Blakeley
off on the way home.
165
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:57,542
Certainly.
166
00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,710
115 Central Park West.
167
00:07:58,745 --> 00:07:59,878
Right.
168
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,846
(clears throat)
169
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,017
(humming)
170
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,620
Doug, I promised
you a ride home.
171
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,821
Nothing else, okay?
172
00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,223
Okay.
173
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,028
Doug!
174
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,263
Christina, don't
be so unfriendly.
175
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,465
Doug, please stop.
176
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,666
(Tony clears his throat)
177
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,134
(clearing throat loudly)
178
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,705
You're making
an ass of yourself.
179
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,606
She's right, Doug.
180
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,776
Who are you?
181
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,311
I'm Tony.
182
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,046
Tony, mind your own business.
183
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,382
Just drive the car.
184
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,450
I will if you stop being rude.
185
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,920
Christina and I are having
a little disagreement.
186
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,390
You had better keep
your nose out of it.
187
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,958
Okay.
188
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,927
As long as you stop being rude.
189
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,930
What if I don't stop being rude?
190
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,599
Well, I guess I'll have
to ask you to leave.
191
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:56,034
Tell me something, Tony.
192
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:59,504
What will you do when you
ask me to leave and I don't?
193
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,107
What, then, jerk?
194
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,075
I don't know.
195
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,078
I guess I'd break your face.
196
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,582
All right, big talker,
just stop this car.
197
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,584
We'll see who breaks whose face.
198
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,953
Guys, please.
199
00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:17,455
(brakes screeching)
200
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,857
You want to step outside
and settle this, right?
201
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,159
You bet. You got it.
202
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,327
You got it.
203
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,296
Yeah? Well, get out.
204
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,499
(tires screeching)
205
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,168
That settled it. (laughs)
206
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,770
Just what would you have
done if that hadn't worked?
207
00:09:32,805 --> 00:09:34,940
I mean, he was a
lot bigger than you.
208
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,241
Oh, I wasn't worried.
209
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,776
I mean, size isn't nearly
as important as ability.
210
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,845
You know, I was a
professional boxer.
211
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,314
I've been beat up
by guys half his size.
212
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,523
So anyway, everyone said
it was a terrible mismatch.
213
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,258
I mean, Manzo was
nationally ranked,
214
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:55,760
and I was a young unknown.
215
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:58,195
See, his manager took
the fight for a sure win.
216
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,897
You know, make
his record look good.
217
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,599
Yes. All right,
so the fight starts.
218
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:03,802
First round, Manzo
breaks my nose.
219
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,404
For the next four rounds,
he keeps going for it,
220
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,506
hitting me in the face,
bloodying my nose.
221
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,475
Somehow I managed to stay
on my feet round after round.
222
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,577
The sixth round, they
finally stopped the fight.
223
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,879
I win on a TKO.
224
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,714
Manzo can't come
out of his corner
225
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:19,016
'cause I'm making him nauseous.
226
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,720
That was a joke.
227
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,222
Oh. (laughs)
228
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,302
You know, like, a sportswriter
wrote that about the fight
229
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,537
'cause that's the way it looked.
230
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:29,427
But the fact was,
I wore Manzo out.
231
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,562
Was that the biggest
fight you ever had?
232
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:32,730
Oh, no.
233
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:34,298
I once fought Ron Thomas.
234
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,234
You know, in his prime,
he was considered
235
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,169
one of the best
middleweights of all time.
236
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,605
But by the time I
fought him, he was 43.
237
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,674
I mean, his reflexes were off,
238
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,676
his timing was bad,
his punches were weak.
239
00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,778
With a couple of breaks,
I might have beat him.
240
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,813
(laughs)
241
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,248
That one was serious.
242
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,517
Oh. I'm sorry.
243
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:53,684
No, no, no, that's okay.
244
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,953
Now that I think about
it, it is kind of funny.
245
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,489
You want to hear
another one? Yes.
246
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:58,890
How about that?
247
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,992
All these years of
boxing finally paid off.
248
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,594
I have amusing anecdotes.
249
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,990
Vic!
250
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,427
Oh, look at this.
251
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,396
My sandwich.
252
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,902
It was almost ruined.
253
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:46,705
Oh...
254
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:49,006
Are you still moping
over Christina?
255
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,108
I'm not moping.
256
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,788
It's just hard to chauffeur
somebody around
257
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,479
you're nuts about.
258
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,081
I mean, we go to so
many great places together.
259
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,852
These could've been the greatest
260
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,854
dates of my life if
they had been dates.
261
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,733
I'm never going to have
better dates than these,
262
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:06,057
and I never had these.
263
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,559
Aw, Tony...
264
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,561
"Aw, Tony"? You understood that?
265
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:10,895
No.
266
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,364
But he looks so sad.
267
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,267
I'm obsessed with her, Alex.
268
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,036
I can't get her out of my mind.
269
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,171
She's the classiest
lady I ever met.
270
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,540
She's like a princess,
she's like a goddess,
271
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,610
she's like a Vegas showgirl.
272
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:29,080
Tony, Tony, why don't,
why don't you ask her out?
273
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,182
I can't do that, Alex,
I'm just a chauffeur.
274
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,184
I mean, she's nice to
me, but she's nice to me
275
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:34,430
the way she's nice
to the gardener,
276
00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,086
the way she's nice
to the housekeeper,
277
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,955
the way she's nice to the cook.
278
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,125
She's so nice.
279
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,962
But I'll bet that she thinks of
you as more than help, too.
280
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:45,129
Oh, yeah.
281
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,998
When was the last time
you ended an evening
282
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,734
by telling your
date to wax the car?
283
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:55,173
Tony, give it time.
284
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,777
Love has a way of
creeping up on folks.
285
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:01,312
I once lived with a woman
286
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:05,149
for three years before
I realized I loved her.
287
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:10,888
In fact, I lived with her
288
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,859
for three years before I
realized I lived with her.
289
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,130
What a woman.
290
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,567
I might have married her.
291
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,835
Why didn't you?
292
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,770
I said I might have.
293
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,174
I don't remember.
294
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,109
Tony, Tony, listen
to me, listen to me.
295
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,844
Don't wait.
296
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,146
I mean, the longer you wait,
297
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,314
the harder it is for her
298
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,316
to think of you as not the help.
299
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,750
You know, he's absolutely right.
300
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,419
You have got to
ask her out right now.
301
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,554
I can't do that, man. ALEX: Why?
302
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:46,191
I want her so bad but
she's out of my league.
303
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,793
And I'm not going after
no more pipe dreams.
304
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,261
I can't take that again.
305
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,429
What do you mean, again?
306
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,030
Oh, you guys
know, I was a boxer.
307
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,766
I wanted to be
champion of the world.
308
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,267
So, I spent 13 years of my life
309
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,946
wanting and chasing
something that I'd never get.
310
00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,837
All I get is an
empty feeling for it.
311
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,206
No more longshots.
312
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,140
Tony, you're not
a quitter, are you?
313
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,343
No, I'm no quitter, Alex, but
what am I supposed to do?
314
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,588
Well, we'll help you, all right?
315
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,079
We'll show you, I
mean, if need be,
316
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,558
we'll go over
everything step by step.
317
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,527
But you're going to get the
girl of your dreams, Tony.
318
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:12,950
That's right.
319
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:14,797
Oh, come on guys, I mean,
she goes out with guys
320
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,487
that take her to
Broadway openings.
321
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,222
You know, the 21, the Met.
322
00:14:18,257 --> 00:14:19,635
How am I supposed
to compete with that?
323
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,192
So, you don't compete.
324
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,594
Tony, you do something better.
325
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:24,128
You do something
that is uniquely you.
326
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:25,630
That's right. Like what?
327
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:26,776
Well, wait a minute, wait, wait,
328
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,899
let's just think about it.
329
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,700
Let's just think about it.
330
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,035
I got it!
331
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,236
How about boxing?
332
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,304
Great! Good!
333
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:34,872
That's unique, Tony.
334
00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:37,241
But for God's sake,
go easy on her.
335
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,425
Tony, I got a great
idea for a date.
336
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,360
And it won't even cost you much.
337
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,130
Oh, one of my most
romantic memories
338
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,531
was the time when
my date showed up
339
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,599
with a large picnic
basket and a bottle of wine,
340
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:06,737
and he took me on the Circle
Line cruise around Manhattan.
341
00:15:06,772 --> 00:15:10,007
Oh, it was a
beautiful spring day.
342
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,243
I fell in love with
him that afternoon.
343
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:13,878
Yeah? How'd it turn out?
344
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,779
Oh, not so good.
345
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,949
I married him.
346
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,450
Great.
347
00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:20,617
Boxing's out.
348
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,353
A picnic basket
and a cruise is in.
349
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,588
Hey, you know what
would be fun to do after that?
350
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:25,856
Take her ice-skating.
351
00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,925
Oh, I don't know, Alex, I mean,
352
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,894
I've never been ice
skating, I might fall down.
353
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,896
Oh, that's cute as
hell. ALEX: Yeah.
354
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,865
I could, I could fall.
355
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:39,737
Banta, this is touching
a chord in my heart.
356
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,005
I've been through this,
357
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,774
and I want to pass
something on to you.
358
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:45,409
I was once in love with a woman
359
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:49,747
who was so sophisticated
and so refined
360
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,216
that it seemed to make
her unattainable to me.
361
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:55,252
Oh, yeah, the prison guard.
362
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,389
No, no, no, not her.
363
00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:02,926
This was a ballerina.
364
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,128
She was gorgeous.
365
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,197
And classy.
366
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:11,435
When she did a grand
jete, it could make you cry.
367
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,771
But I persevered
and I won her heart.
368
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,939
Really? How, Louie?
369
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,444
I know a spot on a woman's body
370
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,546
that turns her to jelly.
371
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:31,222
Well, if that works so
great for you, Louie,
372
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,791
why aren't you constantly
surrounded by beautiful women?
373
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,493
Because it's not an
easy spot to get to.
374
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,471
Take off your right shoe, Nardo.
375
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,507
Drop dead.
376
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:53,478
See, I told you it was
a tough spot to get to.
377
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,580
Come by later and I'll,
uh, tell you some secrets.
378
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,683
You too, Casanova.
379
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,086
Hey, come on, so, so, what
do I do after ice-skating?
380
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,432
You know, to sort of
cap off the evening.
381
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,489
Right.
382
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,757
Uh, drop by my place.
383
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,694
I'm having a luau.
384
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,195
Thanks, Jim, but, uh,
385
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,841
you wouldn't know when
we'd be dropping by.
386
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,233
It doesn't matter, I'm
always having a luau.
387
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:18,169
Now, look, Tony, I think
you're pretty well set now.
388
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,437
What do you mean set, Alex?
389
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,649
You guys said you
were going to tell me
390
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,206
what to say and how to say it.
391
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,243
(as Vic): ♪ Here I
come to save the date. ♪
392
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:28,879
(chuckling)
393
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:32,316
Okay, Tony, I
got a line for you.
394
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:34,485
You use this little
goodie, and I promise
395
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,288
it'll be full speed ahead
from "Can I buy you a drink?"
396
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,323
To "How do you like your eggs?"
397
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,092
I'll write it down for you.
398
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:43,727
No, no, no, Tony, you
don't need any lines.
399
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:44,962
I don't have any lines.
400
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,031
Or any women,
either, eh, Mahatma?
401
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:50,667
Here, Tony.
402
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,637
Read your lady
this poem I wrote.
403
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:57,274
Hey, a poem is a good idea.
404
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:01,279
"How much love I gave
to those I never loved.
405
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:07,117
"How, hoping for
what I never knew
406
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:12,222
and finding it with
my heart, Christina."
407
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:15,693
Yikes! This don't even rhyme.
408
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:19,130
That's right, I
was hoping it did.
409
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:23,267
Tony, the very things that
you've told us about Christina
410
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,236
are the very things
that you should tell her.
411
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,604
That's right, that's right.
412
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,139
Aw, yeah, sure. No, Tony, it is.
413
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,942
I mean like, like, like that I
can't stop thinking about her?
414
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,743
You want to go out
with Christina? Yeah!
415
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,523
Then all you have to
do is go to her and say,
416
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,557
"I want to go out with you."
417
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,147
I want to go out with you.
418
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,316
Yeah. I like it.
419
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:40,484
I'll do it.
420
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,052
Oh, but I'm going
to chicken out, Alex.
421
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,321
Don't chicken out.
422
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,789
Don't.
423
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,490
Got that covered,
too, huh, Alex?
424
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:47,725
All right.
425
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,327
I'll do it, I won't
let you guys down.
426
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,028
We can't miss. Okay, go to it.
427
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:54,097
Oh, yeah, how's this?
428
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,501
I fixed the poem.
429
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,971
It rhymes.
430
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:04,909
"How much love I gave
to those I never loved.
431
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:10,882
"How cold is your hand
when not properly gloved.
432
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:13,618
"Hoping for what I never knew,
433
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,888
"The sky is blue,
434
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,356
and finding it with my heart...
435
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:23,528
And here comes the hardest part,
436
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:29,600
"Christina, which I like
even better than Wheatina."
437
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:34,338
Well, it's a start, Jim.
438
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,706
Okey-doke.
439
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,675
Thanks, guys. ALEX: Okay, okay.
440
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,547
TONY (sotto voce): Ask her.
441
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,148
I just want to go out with you.
442
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,417
I want to go out with you.
443
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:47,484
Oh, that's easy.
444
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,654
I want to go out with you.
445
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,754
Oh, let me help you.
446
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,625
Here.
447
00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,197
Thank you.
448
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:02,766
(takes deep breath)
449
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:04,368
Christina, here it is.
450
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:06,570
Well, I think they
liked your designs.
451
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,172
Congratulations. Thanks.
452
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,474
I'll have Accounting send
them a material cost breakdown.
453
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:13,043
Tell them I'm working on
a new design for spring.
454
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:14,478
Fine, but could
you do me a favor?
455
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,947
Could you try to keep
material cost down this time?
456
00:20:16,982 --> 00:20:18,882
The cost is your
department, isn't it?
457
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,717
Yeah, but it would
be easier for us both
458
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,353
if you'd just consider
the cost up front.
459
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,522
I'll do that.
460
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,723
See you later.
461
00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:28,959
See you later. Bye.
462
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,167
Christina, I...
463
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:39,336
Christina, I can't go on
with this charade anymore.
464
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:41,205
I was wrong about
everything, I'm sorry.
465
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:43,774
I love you.
466
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,142
I need you.
467
00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:46,178
Marry me.
468
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,613
Oh, yes, Nick.
469
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:52,249
Yes.
470
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:12,202
Christina, will you
go out with me?
471
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,450
Oh, guys, don't be
so hard on yourselves.
472
00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:28,786
I mean, you meant well.
473
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,554
And you were right,
I had to go for it.
474
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:32,355
You can't give up
on your dreams.
475
00:21:32,391 --> 00:21:34,391
Romance never works out.
476
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:36,393
Only in fiction.
477
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:39,429
I want to live in fiction.
478
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:42,032
It wouldn't even have to
be "Wuthering Heights."
479
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:45,369
I'd settle for
"Nancy and Sluggo."
480
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:47,638
I'll get over this.
481
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:49,473
We'll all get over this.
482
00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:51,775
This is not my first
disappointment.
483
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,988
The first time my heart was
broken was in the ninth grade,
484
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,846
and I got over it.
485
00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:58,048
A couple of years ago.
486
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:01,485
Ah, the worst part of it is, I
feel like I let everybody down.
487
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,153
No, it's not your fault,
488
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:04,855
No. It's nobody's fault.
489
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,190
We're just depressed because
490
00:22:06,225 --> 00:22:08,392
there's no romance
left in the world.
491
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:13,097
Don't be too sure.
492
00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:19,737
I've got a date with an angel.
493
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:30,280
Funny thing... I've
known her for years.
494
00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:35,853
She didn't know I was
alive until last night.
495
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:39,322
I tried the stuff we've
been telling Tony.
496
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,291
Worked like a charm.
497
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:55,573
Well, we're going out tonight
498
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:58,442
collecting aluminum cans.
499
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:04,948
Crazy world.
500
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,551
♪ Oh, love always... ♪
501
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,000
(theme song playing)
502
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:48,859
WOMAN: Good night, Mr. Walters!
503
00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:49,894
(man grumbling)
35597
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