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1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,000
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,900
Hey, guys,
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,200
guess what followed me home.
4
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,600
A slime trail?
5
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,800
This cute little
fellow right here.
6
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:14,900
Huh?
7
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,600
Isn't he sweet?
8
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,700
The cutest little dog
you've ever seen, huh?
9
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,000
What you gonna do
with him, Cliff?
10
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,500
Oh, I, I thought we'd just keep
him in the bar here, Sam,
11
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,900
you know, kind of like
a bar mascot.
12
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,300
Guys, I kind of thought
I was the bar mascot.
13
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,100
I don't think so, Cliffy.
14
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,800
All right, Sammy.
15
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,200
Come on, Spotty.
16
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,000
Bye-bye, Spotty.
17
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:44,400
Oh, how cute.
18
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,000
Hi, little fellow.
19
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:48,200
Ah.
20
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,800
What's his name?
21
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:53,200
Well, this is,
this is Spotty, huh?
22
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:55,700
Isn't he cute?
23
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,300
Yeah, he's kind of like
the-the bar mascot.
24
00:00:58,300 --> 00:00:59,500
Hey, you know,
25
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,400
he and I are about
to take a bath.
26
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,500
Would you like to join us?
27
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,800
(theme song begins)
28
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,600
� Making your way
in the world today �
29
00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:14,800
� Takes everything you've got �
30
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,500
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
31
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,000
� Sure would help a lot
32
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,900
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
33
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,400
� Sometimes you want to go
34
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:32,900
� Where everybody
knows your name �
35
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:38,800
� And they're always
glad you came �
36
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:41,100
� You wanna be
where you can see �
37
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,700
� Our troubles
are all the same �
38
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:48,000
� You wanna be where
everybody knows your name �
39
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,100
� You wanna go
where people know �
40
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,400
� People are all the same
41
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:59,000
� You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. �
42
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,500
Hey, Mr. Clavin,
43
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,700
if you're looking for
a home for the dog there,
44
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,200
I'd be happy
to take him.
45
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,300
Ah, no, Woody.
46
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,200
You see, Spotty here is
a thoroughbred puppy.
47
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:29,200
Needs a lot of attention, a lot
of care, needs a lot of space.
48
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,800
I'll give you five bucks
for him.
49
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:31,900
Here you go.
50
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,700
Hello. Any messages?
51
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,200
Oh, yeah.
52
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,900
One of your old baseball
buddies called, Dutch Kincaid.
53
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,800
I'll be damned.
Wonder what he wants?
54
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:44,600
Probably another home run.
55
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,100
I think you served him up
something like 27 in his career.
56
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,800
What did that
work out to, Sam?
57
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:55,100
Oh, yeah, uh, one
for every time he faced you.
58
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,800
That was a long time ago.
Yeah.
59
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,400
Poor guy's probably
down and out--
60
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,400
wants to borrow a few bucks
from me.
61
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,100
No. He wants you to show up
62
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,600
for Dutch Kincaid Day
at Yankee Stadium.
63
00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,400
They're having a Dutch Kincaid
Day at Yankee Stadium?
64
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,900
Yeah. They're bringing him back
for one more time at bat
65
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
before the game.
66
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,700
He wants you to pitch to him.
67
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,900
Smart guy, that Dutch.
68
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,000
He's gotta be kidding.
69
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,700
Why the hell should
I want to help him?
70
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,100
I, I'm gonna get on a plane
and fly down to New York
71
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,600
just to give him
some free publicity?
72
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,000
What are you worried about?
73
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,900
You afraid he's
gonna pop one out
74
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:30,800
and you're going to have to see
the old Dutch Windmill again?
75
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,600
What is the Dutch Windmill?
76
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,200
Oh, every time
Dutch hit a homer,
77
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,000
he used to do this little dance
while he ran around the bases.
78
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,400
It's kind of his trademark.
79
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,500
Yeah, if memory serves,
80
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:40,700
it was something like this.
81
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:41,800
He'd have that
left arm pumping,
82
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,300
and the right arm
like a windmill,
83
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,900
and wiggle his fanny
back and forth.
84
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,600
NORM:
No, no, no,
85
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,100
more like this.
86
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:49,300
No, Norm, less jiggle.
87
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,200
I haven't started
dancing yet.
88
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,700
Hey, this is fun.
89
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,000
Did you have
a trademark, Sam?
90
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,700
Shut up and
leave me alone.
91
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,400
Actually, Sam, that's
more of a motto.
92
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,600
No, come on, man, don't
let him lick your... Ew!
93
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,400
Don't let him lick
your lips like that.
94
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,500
Oh, it's okay.
95
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,300
You know, it's an
interesting fact
96
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,900
that that dog's mouth
is probably cleaner
97
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:19,200
than anybody's in this bar.
98
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,500
There's a shock.
99
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,800
Fras, how about you?
You want to play
with the puppy?
100
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:27,400
I don't know.
101
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,800
Uh, my mother never allowed me
102
00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:30,900
to have a puppy
when I was a boy.
103
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:36,100
Consequently, she instilled
in me a slight fear of animals.
104
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,700
I'd say it's about time
you got over that.
105
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,000
Come on, now, Spotty.
106
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,100
I want you to say hello
to your Uncle Frasier.
107
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,800
Well, hello, Spotty.
108
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,700
Norm, I, I think Spotty
wants to go away now.
109
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,200
No. He feels pretty
comfortable there, doesn't he?
110
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:58,400
Well, did I mention to
you that, uh, Spotty
wants to buy you a beer?
111
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,300
Good boy, Scotty.
112
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,700
Can I help you?
113
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:07,300
Yeah. I'm looking for
a yellow-bellied,
114
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,600
runny-nosed has-been.
115
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,500
Hmm, can't make
one of those.
116
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:13,000
I'm out of cassis.
117
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,400
Hello, Dutch.
118
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,200
Mayday.
119
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,700
What are you doing here?
120
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:25,400
I hear you're too chicken
to pitch to me, Fluffy.
121
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,100
What's the matter,
122
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,500
afraid I'll make you
look bad again?
123
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,800
I'm not afraid
of anything, Dutch.
124
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,700
And I don't have anything
to prove, either.
125
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,200
Hey, you know, Malone,
if word gets out
126
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,500
that you're pitching
to me again,
127
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:38,200
it might give the guy
the kind of publicity
128
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,400
that would put him back
in the public eye.
129
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,600
Maybe even in the Hall of Fame.
130
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,400
Oh, get out.
131
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,500
I could never get
into the Hall of Fame.
132
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,800
Not you, you pantywaist.
133
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,500
It's Dutch Kincaid Day,
not Sam Malone Day.
134
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:56,600
Man, what an ego.
135
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:00,800
Find yourself another
sucker, will you?
136
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,000
Okay.
137
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,100
Have you got a men's room
in here?
138
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,600
Oh, what am I asking you for?
139
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,500
It's in the back.
140
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,400
Yeah, thanks.
141
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:15,500
Oh, uh, I gave my neighbor's kid
a Sam Malone baseball card
142
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,700
to stick in his spokes
of his bike.
143
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:21,700
Now, when he rides it, it goes
"wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp."
144
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:24,800
Come on, Sammy,
let's go.
145
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,600
It would be great to
see you pitch again.
146
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:28,400
No way. I told him "no"
and I meant it.
147
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,500
Come on, the guy is a jerk.
148
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:31,900
You've got to nail him.
No.
149
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,100
Knock him down a few pegs.
150
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,200
No. No-no-no.
151
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,500
Oh, no.
152
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,700
You're afraid he's still
gonna be able to hit you.
153
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,100
Oh, are you kidding me?
154
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,100
The guy's a washed-up
old has-been.
155
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,600
I mean, he hasn't
played for years.
156
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,200
I can strike him out with one
hand tied behind my back.
157
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,300
Worth a try, Sammy.
158
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,300
The other way never worked.
159
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,200
That was then, you know.
160
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:54,200
Now I've got the edge on him.
161
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,800
I'm young. You know,
I'm in good shape.
162
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:58,400
Aw, shoot.
163
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:02,100
I've got to remember
to warm up before I do that.
164
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,000
So why don't you
just go out there
165
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,700
and humiliate him
for a change?
Yeah.
166
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:09,500
Come on, Sammy.
Yeah, Sammy.
167
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:10,900
Listen to yourselves, will ya?
168
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,200
Have some class.
169
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:13,400
The guy's an old man.
170
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,500
FRASIER:
Good for you, Sam.
171
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,200
I'm impressed by your stand.
172
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,900
It shows real maturity.
173
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000
Yeah, well, it's gonna take a
lot more than a stupid insult
174
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,100
to get me to go all the way
to New York.
175
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,300
I'll see you later, Underpants.
176
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,000
That does it!
177
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,500
All right, I'll
see you Saturday.
178
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:29,900
Yankee Stadium.
179
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:31,200
That's the spirit.
180
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,400
Listen, and don't worry about
getting into the stadium.
181
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,100
Saturday is Ladies Day.
182
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,100
�
183
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,200
�
184
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:04,600
That'll teach you to pinch a
lady's butt in a locker room.
185
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,800
Guys giving
you trouble?
186
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,500
No.
187
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,200
I was teaching them how to pinch
a lady's butt in a locker room.
188
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,300
Ah, look at this.
189
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:19,400
I'm focused, I'm
psyched, I'm sober.
190
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,400
Hey, Dutch doesn't stand
a chance today?
191
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,700
Yeah.
192
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,400
Only one thing
missing, huh?
193
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,000
I know, Sam.
194
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,700
Yeah, I wish
Coach were here.
195
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:33,400
He is.
196
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:37,600
ANNOUNCER:
Attention, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to...
197
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:41,000
Call me sentimental, but doesn't
this bring back the old days?
198
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,600
Yeah.
199
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,000
I want you to get
out there, Sammy,
200
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,900
grind him into a raw,
meaty pulp,
201
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:52,400
spread him on home plate
and slide into his guts.
202
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,000
(sobbing):
I've got to get a Kleenex.
203
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,300
Hey, Sam Malone.
204
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,200
Yeah.
205
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,500
Cap Richards.
206
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,100
I'm Dutch's
personal manager.
207
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,700
I cooked up this
whole thing.
208
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,400
Glad I got a chance
to talk to you.
209
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,900
Uh, here's how
it's gonna work.
210
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,200
Throw the first two pitches
however you want.
211
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:13,100
The third one, though,
just float it across home
plate, nice and easy.
212
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,500
Oh, what?
Yeah, I thought the home run
would be more dramatic
213
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:16,600
on the third pitch.
214
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,700
But if you want to do it
on the first pitch,
215
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:19,900
like you used to, go ahead.
216
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,500
You've gotta be kidding.
217
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,200
Sam Malone does not take a dive.
218
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,300
Yeah, I came down here
to strike this guy out
and that's what I'm gonna do.
219
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,200
You know, if he wants to get a
hit, he's gonna have to earn it.
220
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,000
Whoa, this is not good.
221
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,300
We have a special ceremony
in honor of...
222
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,100
You ready, Sammy?
Yeah.
223
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:41,400
...Dutch Kincaid.
224
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,600
I can strike this
guy out, can't I?
225
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,800
Of course you can.
226
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,700
Listen,
227
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,600
this is your chance
to make up for the old days.
228
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:52,100
It's the last thing
anyone's ever gonna remember
229
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,900
about Sammy Mayday Malone-- that
he struck out Dutch Kincaid.
230
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,600
Now go on out there
and smoke three fast ones
231
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,700
past that lousy
flat-headed bastard.
232
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:04,300
(sobbing):
I need to get another Kleenex.
233
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,400
Yeah? Huh?
234
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,500
Oh.
235
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,600
Excuse me,
236
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:18,900
are you Sam Malone?
237
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,100
Yeah.
238
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:21,500
Yeah. Wh-wh-what's your name?
239
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,400
Billy Kincaid.
How do you do, Billy?
240
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:27,100
Oh, now you wouldn't,
you wouldn't be a relation
241
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,400
to Dutch Kincaid would you?
242
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,800
He's my grandpa.
243
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,700
I've heard all his
neat stories about
244
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:34,500
how you used to help him
hit those long home runs.
245
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,300
I never got
to see one, though.
246
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,200
I sure hope I can see one today.
247
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:45,100
I may have to
disappoint you there.
248
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:48,000
This is the last time
Grandpa's ever going to play.
249
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:52,300
It's today or never.
250
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,900
Go away, will you?
Go on.
251
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,900
My two brothers and my baby
sister are all watching at home.
252
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,500
None of us ever saw him
hit a home run.
253
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,100
Give me a break, will you?
254
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,800
Grandpa told us he wants
to hit a ball so hard,
255
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:14,200
it'll go up to heaven,
so Grandma can say hello.
256
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:24,200
ANNOUNCER (over PA):
Now pitching, Sam Malone.
257
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,500
Yeah, all right.
258
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,400
Hey, how'd it go?
259
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,000
Great.
260
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,400
Need me to scalp
any tickets?
261
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,500
No, no, you've done
enough for today.
262
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,000
Thanks, Vinnie.
263
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,300
Hey, you guys aren't
supposed to be in here.
264
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,100
That's all right,
we're with Sam Malone.
265
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,200
Mm-hmm.
266
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,500
We're his personal trainers.
267
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:01,500
So you're okay down here?
268
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,300
(chuckles)
269
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,000
We know our way
around a dugout, pally.
270
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,400
Look out, Cliffy.
Incoming.
271
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:14,700
Boy, that ball girl's
really got an arm, huh?
272
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:17,400
Here you go, Toots.
273
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,600
Aw, Norm.
What?
274
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,600
Barbecue sauce got
all over the nachos.
275
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,400
Hey...
Hey...
276
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,300
Hey, guys, did I
miss anything?
277
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,000
Sam hasn't started yet.
Oh.
278
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:45,200
Where you been?
279
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,900
Oh, I've been visiting
the other team.
280
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,500
I ran into somebody I used
to get hot and sweaty with.
281
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:50,200
Who's that?
282
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,500
The other team.
283
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:56,800
And now, stepping to the plate
to face Sam Malone,
284
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,100
the man we all turned out today
to honor...
285
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,100
Dutch Kincaid.
286
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,100
(applause)
287
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,000
Boo-o-o-o!
Boo-o-o-o!
Boo-o-o-o!
288
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,900
Hey, you guys, come on.
The first pitch.
289
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:17,200
Okay, Sammy go!
Go-go!
290
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,100
Come on, Sammy.
291
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,900
(ball thuds in mitt)
Oh, yeah!
Strike one!
292
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,700
Go, Sammy!
293
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,800
All right, Sammy.
294
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,100
Look at him out there.
295
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,300
Doesn't he look
cool on the mound?
296
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:29,500
Oh, I've got
goose bumps.
297
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,900
Yeah, all right,
here comes the stretch.
298
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,800
Hey, ram it down his throat,
Sammy!
299
00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:34,000
Sammy, oh!
Come on, Sammy!
300
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,900
(ball thuds in mitt)
Oh, yeah!
Strike two!
301
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,700
(wild cheering)
Oh, yeah!
302
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,500
Bring on the
heat, Sammy!
303
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:44,300
He can't hit
what he can't see!
304
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,700
(loud crack)
305
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:48,400
Apparently,
he saw that one.
306
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,000
ANNOUNCER:
Look at that ball go.
307
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,600
It may clear
the center field fence.
308
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:54,500
It's going, going,
it's out of here!
309
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,200
(crowd cheering)
310
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,200
Poor Sammy.
311
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:09,700
Wow, he must feel lousy, huh?
312
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,300
Yeah, he's really gonna
need our support.
313
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,000
Well, we'll just have
to be really nice to him.
314
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,700
We can sneak out of here.
315
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,700
I know a shortcut
through the showers.
316
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,700
Better yet.
317
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,100
Too late.
318
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,500
He's seen us.
319
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,800
Okay.
320
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:26,800
I know what you're thinking.
321
00:15:26,900 --> 00:15:28,600
But I can explain it.
322
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:30,600
I know it looked
like a home run.
323
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,700
Yeah, our first clue
was when the ball
324
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,700
actually left the stadium.
325
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,200
Yeah, but it doesn't count
'cause I did it on purpose.
326
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,200
All right.
327
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:40,500
Oh, sure, Sam.
328
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,800
You let him get a home run
off you on purpose.
329
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:43,500
No, no.
330
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,600
I did it for Kincaid's grandkid.
331
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:49,000
He wanted to see his grandfather
hit a home run, so...
332
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,300
Well, hell, he can
explain it to you.
333
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,300
Billy.
334
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,800
Yo, hey, Billy!
335
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,500
Oh, right, Sam.
336
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,100
Whatever you say.
337
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,400
We believe you.
338
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,500
Why are you
using that voice?
339
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,000
That's your "I don't
believe you" voice.
340
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,700
No it's not, Sam.
I do believe you.
341
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,600
Then why are you
still talking...
342
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,400
Oh, come on, listen,
Billy'll tell you everything.
343
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,400
Hey, Billy!
344
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,800
Come on, Billy!
Sam, Sam.
345
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,100
Come on.
Let's go home.
346
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,400
We get to go on
an airplane ride.
347
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:17,000
And maybe when we're up there,
348
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,300
we'll get to see that pitch
you served Dutch.
349
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,800
I'm telling you,
I did it on purpose.
350
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,800
I swear to God.
351
00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:25,000
There was this kid...
352
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,500
Come on, Billy!
353
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,900
This isn't funny!
354
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:35,900
...78, 79...
355
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,000
If you keep moving
around, Spotty,
356
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,300
I'm not gonna be able
to get an accurate count.
357
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:48,500
One, two, three, four...
358
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:49,900
Woody.
five...
359
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,700
I guess you've given up
on finding his owner, huh?
360
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,400
Well, why don't you want me
to have this dog, Ms. Howe?
361
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:58,300
It's not that I don't want you
to have the dog, Woody,
362
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,200
it's just that
I have this... this thing
363
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:04,600
about being completely honest
when it comes to lost pets.
364
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,800
Okay, when I was
ten years old,
365
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,500
I had this beautiful
Persian cat named Princess.
366
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:10,600
She only loved me.
367
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,400
She didn't like anybody
else in my family.
368
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,900
One day I woke up,
Princess was gone.
369
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,500
My mom and dad said
that she got out
370
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,800
through the bedroom window.
371
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,100
The weird thing is,
372
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,200
I could have sworn
that bedroom window
373
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,500
was painted shut.
374
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,000
It bothered me for years.
375
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:30,100
Then as you matured,
you came to accept the fact
376
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,400
that it was your parents who,
in fact, got rid of the cat.
377
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,200
What?!
378
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,700
My Princess?!
379
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,100
They took my Princess?!
380
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,400
Oh, boy, me and my big mouth.
381
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,200
Why don't I just go down
to the park
382
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:01,500
and tell the little kids
about Santa Claus?
383
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,100
What about Santa?
384
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,800
But we do
believe you, Sam.
385
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:17,100
I'm getting tired
of that voice.
386
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,200
You know, I don't care
what you guys think.
387
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,400
In my heart,
I know I did this...
388
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,300
ALL:
...for a little boy
and his dead grandmother.
389
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,800
Oh, guys, look.
390
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,300
Spotty fell asleep
on my shoe.
391
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,600
He's so sweet.
392
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,400
I just wish
I was wearing sandals
393
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,300
so I could feel
his little puppy breath.
394
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,400
Hi, gentlemen.
What can I get you?
395
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,000
Just coffee.
We're on duty.
396
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,700
What's the matter?
397
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,000
Well, two weeks ago
our dog ran away.
398
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,500
Cutest little puppy
you ever saw.
399
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,700
He's just about so big.
400
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,200
Today, Chief made us
give up our search.
401
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,600
Oh.
402
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:09,500
Woody, I think they're
talking about Spotty.
403
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,700
Do you want
to say something?
404
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,800
No.
405
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,600
Make them go away.
406
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:16,600
Come on, Woody.
407
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,700
It is obvious that
it is their dog.
408
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,100
And give me a break,
a Dalmatian,
409
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,200
the fire department.
410
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,200
It's a different
dog, ratfink.
411
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,900
Just 'cause you lost
your stupid cat.
412
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,800
Remember when
he was born?
413
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:31,900
Oh-h-h-h.
414
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,600
We each took hour-long shifts
415
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,300
feeding him warm milk
through an eyedropper.
416
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,800
Remember how he used to
fall asleep on my shoe?
417
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,000
Yeah.
418
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,900
I can still feel his
warm little puppy breath.
419
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:44,000
(cries)
420
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,200
What is it?
421
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,700
Nothing.
422
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,300
Go away.
Isn't there a fire somewhere?
423
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,500
Oh, the heck with it.
424
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,400
I didn't want him anyway.
425
00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,900
He's all covered with spots.
426
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,100
Hey-hey-hey...
427
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,200
Take him, I didn't know
he was yours, honest.
428
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,300
Thanks, kid.
429
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,100
Looks like you took
real good care of him.
430
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,000
Yeah.
You know, we had
a reward posted--
431
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,100
a hundred bucks.
432
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,900
Oh, I don't care
about the money.
433
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,100
I just want what's
best for Spotty.
434
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,300
Gee, I'm, sorry, kid.
435
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:21,800
Now, a ride on a real
fire engine might help.
436
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,100
We can't let you do that.
437
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,500
(cries):
I miss him so much!
438
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,200
All right, come on.
439
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,400
But don't tell anybody.
440
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,400
Yeah!
441
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,200
Hey, can I, can I
run the siren?
442
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:36,500
No, that would be illegal.
443
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,600
(cries):
Oh, geez, Spotty meant
everything to me!
444
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:41,800
All right, you can
turn on the siren.
445
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,300
Well, can I wear your hat?
446
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,000
It's part of the uniform.
447
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:46,300
Well, can I drive,
448
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,300
please, please?!
449
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,900
Here, take the dog.
450
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,000
Take the dog.
451
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,700
(crying)
452
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,700
We snowed 'em, dude.
453
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,800
Where's little Miss Malone?
454
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:06,800
In the office?
455
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:08,800
Haven't you humiliated him
enough?
456
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,800
Hey, not as much
as he humiliated me.
457
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,600
Hey, Malone...!
458
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,100
Pull on your pantyhose
and get out here.
459
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,800
We've got a score to settle.
460
00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:18,900
Come on, Dutch.
461
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,100
You had your home run.
462
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,800
Why don't we just
leave it at that?
463
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,100
I'm not gonna leave it at that.
464
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,400
You deliberately
threw me a cream puff.
465
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,200
I don't need your
charity pitches.
466
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,500
I didn't do it for you.
467
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:30,900
I did it for your grandkid.
468
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,800
I don't have any grandkid.
469
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,600
What do you mean, you
don't have any grandkid?
470
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:37,100
Naw, my personal
manager and his kid
471
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:38,900
are always pulling
that scam.
472
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,800
That's how I got
Dutch Kincaid Day.
473
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,700
This was a setup?
474
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,500
I had a chance finally
475
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,500
to strike you out in front
of a stadium full of people
476
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,200
and I had to let it go
for a stupid, lousy setup?
477
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:53,200
You never had
a chance, Malone.
478
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,400
I can hit anything
you can serve up.
479
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:56,900
Oh, come on.
Give me a break.
480
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,700
My first two pitches
went right by you.
481
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,100
Well, I let them go by
for the drama.
482
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:04,000
Drama?
483
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
You let them go by
for the drama?
484
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,100
You want drama?
485
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:08,500
I'll give you drama.
486
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:10,600
Come with me, you, you,
come on, right now.
487
00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:11,800
All right.
488
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,500
There's still plenty
of daylight out there.
489
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:14,600
Let's do it.
490
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:15,700
Yeah, well, I'll be back
491
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,900
in about three pitches, fellas.
492
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Two grown men
settling a rivalry
493
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,900
by throwing a little white ball
at a wooden stick.
494
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,800
How pathetic.
495
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,200
Now, boxing...
496
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:28,300
that's a man's sport.
497
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,700
Punch a guy in the face
and scramble his brains.
498
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:32,700
That proves something.
499
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,900
Fras, you're coming
around, buddy.
500
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,500
Thank you.
501
00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:42,800
Hey, shut up, you guys,
Sammy's pitching.
502
00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:44,300
(crack)
503
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:47,100
Oh, my God,
there's two moons in the sky.
504
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,100
SAM:
All right, lucky hit.
505
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,000
Let's go again.
506
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,300
(crack)
507
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:55,400
Gee, he almost hit
a helicopter.
508
00:22:58,500 --> 00:22:59,900
(crack)
509
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,300
SAM:
Okay, 226 lucky hits.
510
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,300
CARLA:
Hang in there, Sammy.
511
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,800
He's old.
He can't live forever.
35782
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