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1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:05,000
Cheers is filmedbefore a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,500
(wrench clicking)
3
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,500
Oh, no!
4
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:11,600
You got some car trouble?
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,800
Oh, yeah.
6
00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:14,800
Every time it gets cold,
my stupid battery dies.
7
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:15,800
Gotta get a new one?
8
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,400
Ugh! No, that's
all right.
9
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,100
I got one
right here.
10
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,300
(grunts)
11
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:21,700
Here. Norm,
close the hood.
12
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:23,800
Start walking
real fast.
13
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,500
(theme song begins)
14
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,900
� Making your way
in the world today �
15
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,100
� Takes everything you've got �
16
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,800
� Taking a break
from all your worries �
17
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:44,300
� Sure would help a lot
18
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:48,200
� Wouldn't you like
to get away? �
19
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,700
� Sometimes you want to go
20
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:56,200
� Where everybody
knows your name �
21
00:00:57,500 --> 00:01:02,100
� And they're always
glad you came �
22
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,400
� You wanna be
where you can see �
23
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:06,900
� Our troubles
are all the same �
24
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,200
� You wanna be where
everybody knows your name �
25
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,400
� You wanna go
where people know �
26
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:17,700
� People are all the same
27
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:22,300
� You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. �
28
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,300
Hey, guys, how do I look?
29
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,700
NORM:
Ooh!
Hey!
30
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,500
Major spiffy!
31
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,200
Oh, that's right! Today's
the big day, isn't it?
32
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:50,800
Yup. Kelly's coming back
from France.
33
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:52,100
Ah! She's hopping the pond, eh?
34
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,900
The what?
35
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,500
The pond. It's a reference
to the Atlantic.
36
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,600
Uh, the Atlantic is an ocean,
not a pond, Dr. Crane.
37
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,000
How many of those
have you had?
38
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,500
Apparently, not enough.
39
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,400
Boy, I am
really nervous.
40
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,900
It seems like
Kelly's been gone a year.
41
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,200
How long has she been gone?
42
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,000
A year.
43
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,700
Can I put some ice
44
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,600
in that drink for
you, Dr. Crane?
45
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,400
Hey, guys!
46
00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,500
I just put a down payment
on immortality!
47
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,200
Oh, yeah? What are
you talking about?
48
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,500
I'm s... I'm sorry.
49
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,200
It just slipped out.
50
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:35,500
The miracle of cryogenics.
51
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:37,300
Oh, that thing
where they freeze you?
52
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,800
Yeah. Go ahead,
take a look.
53
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:41,600
You know, when my number
is up, uh, I'll be frozen
54
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,400
and preserved
in a subzero container
55
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,100
moments after a doctor
declares me legally brain dead.
56
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,200
Boy, that's a tough call.
57
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,600
You know, in this brochure,
58
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:54,100
the containers look
kind of small.
59
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,600
They don't freeze
your entire body.
60
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:56,900
No, just the brain pan.
61
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,900
They cut off your head
and freeze it?
62
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:02,400
Uh-huh.
What do they do with the rest
of your body, throw it away?
63
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,500
Well, it's a start.
64
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,200
NORM:
Cliff, uh,
65
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,300
this corporation
wouldn't be owned
66
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,400
by a dog food
company, would it?
67
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,200
SAM:
I want to get
this straight. So,
68
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:13,200
when it's time for you
to thaw out, what do they do?
69
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:14,900
They, like, uh, put your head
in a plastic bag
70
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,900
and plop you in some
boiling water for three minutes?
71
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,500
CARLA:
Sammy!
72
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,100
Sammy, this is science,
not Lean Cuisine.
73
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:23,400
Hey, Clavin on ice.
74
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,300
That's nice.
75
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,100
FRASIER:
Now, wait a minute.
76
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,700
Why is everybody
making fun of Cliff?
77
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,600
Now, I'm not saying
that I believe
78
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,200
that Cliff's severed head
will be brought back to life
79
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,300
in the year 2278 to
charm and delight
80
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,100
a new generation
of Bostonians,
81
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,400
but who knows?
82
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,300
I mean, who can
predict the future?
83
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,800
CARLA:
Hey,
84
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:45,900
look, everybody--
it's Clavin's family reunion!
85
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,800
That's it, I'm out of here.
86
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,000
I'll have real friends
in 2278!
87
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,500
NORM:
Oh, yeah.
88
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,800
You and the other severed heads
can go bowling or something.
89
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,900
(laughter)
90
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,100
Hello, Woody!
91
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,800
Kelly!
92
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:04,200
Boy, I've missed
you, Kelly!
93
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:05,800
I've missed you,
too, Woody.
Ah.
94
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,300
I brought you
a present.
95
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,300
It's a real
French beret.
96
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,100
� Tada!
Oh, wow!
97
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,400
It was between this one
98
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,000
and the one
with the arrow through it.
99
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,700
Oh, well, this
one's nice, too.
100
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,600
Surprise! I got them both!
101
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,000
Oh!
102
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,300
This is gonna be fun.
103
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,500
This is gonna be
just like old times.
104
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,300
I can't wait.
105
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,200
So what do you
feel like doing?
106
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,000
I don't know.
What do you feel like doing?
107
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,800
I don't know.
What do you feel like doing?
108
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:35,200
Gosh, this is just
like old times.
109
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:39,000
Listen, maybe Henri
will know what to do.
Who?
110
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:42,300
Henri, my new best friend
from Paris.
111
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,900
Woody, this is Henri.
112
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,000
Henri, this
is Woody.
113
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,200
Ah, Woody.
114
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:48,300
Yes, I've heard
so much about you. Yeah.
115
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,000
Give me 40 bucks,
please.
116
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000
I have to pay
for the cab.
117
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,700
Thanks.
118
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,600
I'll be right back.
119
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,800
Kelly, that guy just
take me for 40 bucks,
120
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,600
kiss you twice
and leave?
121
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:13,500
Woody, you're so American!
122
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,200
Henri is my photography teacher.
123
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,700
He's the greatest.
124
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,500
He showed me
all of Paris,
125
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,000
taught me all
about French food,
126
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,000
taught me not to be ashamed
of my body, and he...
127
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:26,100
he lectured me
in history and art.
128
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,300
Wait. Wait. Wait.
129
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,200
C-Can we go back
to that body thing?
130
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,400
Henri took some
art photographs of me.
131
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,800
They were very tasteful.
132
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,500
Now, hold on.
133
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:37,600
You-You guys aren't...
134
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,300
Ugh! No, of
course not!
135
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:41,700
He's just here on vacation.
136
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,100
Sure, he's always joking
137
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,500
about how he's gonna
steal me away from you,
138
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,500
but he's only kidding.
139
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,100
Are you sure?
140
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,900
Henri, you're
gonna love this.
141
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,600
Woody thinks
you really are...
142
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,700
(snickering):
...trying to steal me
away from him.
143
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:58,700
Oh...!
144
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,700
(laughs)
145
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,700
Oh, that's so funny.
146
00:06:04,900 --> 00:06:06,500
I am, you know.
147
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,100
Right out from
under your nose.
148
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,400
(Henri laughs)
149
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,900
See how he is, Woody?
150
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,700
He really cracks me up.
151
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,900
(laughing):
Yeah, that's a good one.
152
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,400
Now, I got one for you, Henri.
153
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,500
Get your hands off
my girlfriend.
154
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,900
Henri, if you'll
excuse us a moment.
155
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,400
Woody, I think you
were a little rude
to Henri just now.
156
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,900
Yeah, well, I think
Henri was a little rude, too.
157
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,200
He's supposed to be
rude; he's French.
158
00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:38,600
I'm, uh, Sam Malone,
by the way.
159
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,500
Oh! I've heard
about you in France.
160
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,900
Oh, yeah.
You follow baseball?
161
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:44,200
No. Stewardesses.
162
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,200
Oh.
163
00:06:48,300 --> 00:06:50,800
Uh, when I first came in,
164
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:53,200
I was afraid that
you were Woody, uh, but
165
00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,600
then when I saw the real thing,
I was most relieved.
166
00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,500
Why's that?
167
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,500
Heh. No competition.
168
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,000
I could steal Kelly
169
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,900
with both hands
tied behind my back.
170
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,800
Ooh!
171
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,200
Listen, Kelly's
Woody's girlfriend.
172
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:17,500
I'm sure you could have
any woman you wanted.
173
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:23,300
I know, but, uh, Kelly
is so innocent and naive.
174
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,100
I love to change that.
175
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,600
Boy, I'm kind
of torn here.
176
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,200
I mean, Woody's my
closest friend,
177
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,200
but that is a real
solid argument.
178
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,400
You know, Woody may surprise
you there, you know.
179
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:42,900
He's, uh... looks
like a pushover,
180
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,700
but he's got his
way with women.
181
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,800
Oh, no, I've been shot
through the head!
182
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,000
I've been shot
through the head!
183
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,900
I'll take my chances.
184
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,000
(Henri and Kelly laughing)
185
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,800
Come on, Woody.
186
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:04,400
Woody, how about
this one?
187
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,700
Knock, knock.
188
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,100
Who's there?
189
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,500
Henri, the guy who's going
to steal your girlfriend.
190
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,100
KELLY:
Now, Henri,
191
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:14,900
this is getting
a little tiresome.
192
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,100
Oh?
193
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,300
I'm kidding.
194
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,400
It's really cute.
195
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,900
Oh. Woody, why don't you
get us some drinks?
196
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,500
Three sodas, Sam.
197
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,800
You know, Woody,
I... I'd watch out
198
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,300
for that guy,
if I were you.
199
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,700
Oh, I know he's annoying, Carla,
200
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:36,700
but Kelly swears that he's just
joking around to get my goat.
201
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,800
I don't think
he's joking around there, Woody.
202
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,300
Yeah, I don't
think so, either.
203
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,200
I mean, the French
aren't exactly known
204
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:43,600
for their
sense of humor.
205
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,900
What do you mean?
206
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,700
Well, let me put
it this way:
207
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,200
Their, uh, comic hero
is Jerry Lewis.
208
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,200
What's your point?
209
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,000
Yeah.
What's your point?
210
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,900
Oh, Henri,
that's impossible!
211
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,300
No one can do that!
212
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,600
No. It's true.
213
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:07,800
I'll show you.
214
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,200
What are you guys doing?
215
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,300
Henri says he can
teach me to tie a knot
216
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,800
in a cherry stem
with my tongue.
217
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,600
Here, uh, we'll
demonstrate.
218
00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,200
I'll be the
cherry stem.
219
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,300
Hold it. Hold it.
220
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:20,400
That's it, frogman.
221
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,900
Get away
from my girlfriend!
222
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,400
I know what you're thinking.
223
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,400
You're thinking you're more
sophisticated than me,
224
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,600
and classier than me,
and smarter than me,
225
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:31,400
and that... and that you got
better hair than mine,
226
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,100
and that you're taller
than me,
227
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,100
and-and you got
that strong jaw line.
228
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,400
What was my point?
229
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,400
Oh, yeah--
you get out of here
230
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:44,400
before I kick your butt
back to the Eiffel Tower!
231
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,400
Very well.
232
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,600
But I do feel I
should be allowed
233
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,600
to say something
in my defense.
234
00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,300
Go ahead.
235
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,900
I'm going to steal
your girlfriend.
236
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,200
I can't believe
Kelly would be so mad at me
237
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,900
just 'cause
I stood up to Henri.
238
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,200
It's like
she's starting
239
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,100
to like him
better than me.
240
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,700
Hey, Sam, you don't
think that...
241
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:24,800
maybe they've
been to...
242
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,300
To the back of the barn?
243
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:30,600
I was gonna say
to bed together.
244
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,100
What-What is the
back of the barn?
245
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,100
What does that mean?
246
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:41,800
That-That's-That's where
the compost heap is.
247
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,300
I can't think of any
place less romantic.
248
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,600
I don't think they've
slept together yet, Woody,
249
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:04,600
but I-I would be concerned
about Henri.
250
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,700
I mean, I know
guys like this.
251
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,000
I mean, I am
a guy like this.
252
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:12,900
Well, what can I do, Sam?
253
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,300
Well, how's-how's
your love life?
254
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,700
I mean, the physical part?
255
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,700
Well, I can't
speak for Kelly,
256
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,300
but I'm looking
forward to it.
257
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,900
You're-You're telling me
258
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,600
that-that you and Kelly
haven't slept together?
259
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,500
Well, uh, we-we did once,
260
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,400
when we went to
see Old Gringo,
261
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,100
but the whole
row was snoring.
262
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,500
Well, I... You know,
263
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,900
I think this may be
your problem here, Wood.
264
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,900
Well, I always figured
265
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,900
we'd wait until after
we were married.
266
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:51,200
That's-That's the
way everybody in
Hanover does it.
267
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,800
Except for that couple
that teaches art at
the high school.
268
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,400
I think waiting for marriage
is a wonderful idea.
269
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,000
REBECCA:
I wish I had.
270
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,800
I also wish that I had
studied harder in college
271
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:07,700
and maybe gone
for a different career.
272
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,800
Maybe engineering.
273
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,300
And, you know,
Boston was a bad move.
274
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,200
And then, I mean, of course,
275
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,700
you can't choose
your own parents.
276
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:20,000
But if I could have,
I would have chosen two
277
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,900
that were more supportive,
you know, like Brian Keith
278
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,300
and Maureen O'Hara
in The Parent Trap.
279
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,600
Woody, is this helping you?
280
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,700
Well, even if it isn't,
281
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,200
just thinking about
The Parent Trap
282
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,900
for a moment
made me feel good.
283
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:47,400
What do you think about
premarital sex, Mr. P?
284
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,900
Well, Wood, there's an
old saying, you know, uh...
285
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,400
"Why buy the cow when you can
get the milk for free?"
286
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,100
Then of course,
you, uh, you get married,
287
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,000
you wake up one day and realize:
288
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,900
"Oh, my God.
I've married a cow."
289
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,100
Thanks, Mr. P.
290
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,900
Hey, uh, Sam,
what if we do it
291
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,500
and it becomes
like a crutch,
292
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,800
and we rely on it for
the rest of our lives?
293
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,100
Well, then you know
you did it right.
294
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,500
But you better hurry
295
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,400
or Henri's gonna
beat you to it.
296
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,200
All right.
297
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,500
I'm gonna go
through with it.
298
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,500
All right!
299
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,700
WOODY:
Yeah, right.
300
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,200
But if it's gonna happen,
301
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,900
it's gotta be wonderful.
302
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,400
Where can we go?
303
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,500
We can't go to her place,
'cause her Dad's home.
304
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,200
Well, then why don't you
go to a motel?
305
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,100
This is all second nature
to you, isn't it, Sam?
306
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,900
Look at him.
307
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,100
Walking out of here a boy,
308
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,900
and he's gonna come back...
309
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,400
a happy boy.
310
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,500
Everyone!
311
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,100
This is Dr. Eugene
Eckworth,
312
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,500
a renowned scientist
and surgeon.
313
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,600
A man who not only
believes in cryogenics,
314
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:22,000
but has just performed
the procedure
315
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:24,100
you all scorned
so zestfully.
316
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,500
Yes, I'm in the process
of transferring
317
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,700
one of our thermostatic clients
to a storage facility.
318
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,700
My good friend, Frasier, asked
me to stop by for a drink.
319
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,300
You-You telling me you brought
320
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,200
a severed head into the bar?
321
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,900
Oh, man, we gotta have a policy
against that, don't we?
322
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,600
CLIFF:
Hey.
323
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:47,000
Don't worry, it's,
uh, it's frozen.
324
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,700
It's not like it's gonna
go bad or anything.
325
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,700
Hey, a game of pool, Gene?
You can leave the head there.
326
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,200
Oh, that's just fine.
327
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,900
Ooh, weird-looking box.
328
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,400
What's in there?
329
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,100
Um, I don't know.
330
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,600
Why don't you look?
331
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,100
Okay.
No! No-no, don't do that!
332
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,100
There's a frozen severed
head in that thing.
333
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,700
Oh, give me a break, Sam.
334
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,700
She's right.
There's no head in there.
335
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,500
Then why doesn't
somebody open it?
336
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,000
Yeah, you're kind of in charge
337
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,000
of all body parts around here,
aren't you, Sam?
338
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:23,600
All right, we'll--
I'll open it up
339
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,800
take a quick look, see that
there's no head in there
340
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,200
and then I'll just shut it
up again, all right?
Okay.
341
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,300
(chuckles):
This...
342
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,800
Well?
343
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,100
I can't see anything
in there.
344
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,300
MALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Help me.
345
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,700
(all screaming)
346
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,400
CLIFF:
Ha! Ha! Hey!
347
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,900
Hey! Well, look who's
laughing now, huh?
348
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,600
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Help me... Help me...
349
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,000
(switch clicks)
350
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,200
Ha! You guys were running away
from a tape recorder!
351
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:01,500
Cliff, I must admit
that was funny.
352
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,800
Thanks a lot, Gene.
353
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,400
No problem, Fras.
FRASIER (laughing):
Take care.
354
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,000
Hey, Doc, that was great.
355
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,700
Congratulations.
356
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,300
We make a good team,
you and me.
357
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,500
Ah, we showed them.
358
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,200
Hey, how would you like
to play a trick like that
359
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,500
on somebody else
tomorrow, huh?
360
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,100
Wouldn't that be great?
361
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,200
Lot of people I'd like
to get even with.
362
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,100
Guys down at the post office.
363
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,000
All the people in
my apartment complex.
364
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,400
Ma! Ooh, I'd love to nail her!
365
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,700
Help me!
366
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,900
Well, here's your room,
Mr. and Mrs. Malone.
367
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,400
Well, thank you.
368
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,700
The wife and I really enjoy
369
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,000
getting away from the kids
for a relaxing evening.
370
00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,200
By the way, honey, shouldn't
we call the babysitter
371
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,700
and tell her there's
some chicken in the fridge?
372
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:58,200
The little woman
is a great cook.
373
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,900
Almost makes putting up
374
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,700
with the mother-in-law
worthwhile.
375
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,400
You two aren't married, are you?
376
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,600
No.
377
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,900
(flatly):
Gee, you really had me going
there for a while.
378
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,500
(door closes)
379
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:26,400
Well, this is it.
380
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:30,000
Just you and me alone together.
381
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:34,400
So, uh, what should we do first?
382
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,000
We could kiss.
383
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,600
Yeah, we've done that
lots of times.
384
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,300
Yeah.
385
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,300
Boy, I've never felt
this self-conscious
386
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:16,500
about kissing you.
387
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,300
My lips feel huge.
388
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,000
Well, they've always been full.
389
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,600
Really?
390
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,800
They feel like two
big pieces of liver
391
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,600
slapping together.
392
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,500
Oh, no, I can hardly talk.
393
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:41,300
Woody, I think we're both
a little bit nervous,
394
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:44,600
so why don't we
lie down and relax.
395
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:46,500
Okay?
396
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,800
(sighs)
397
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:08,700
Oh! Hey, this is one
of those vibrating beds.
398
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,800
I always wanted to try this.
399
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200
(coin clinks)
400
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,100
Oh, darn, I dropped the quarter.
401
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,500
I have another quarter.
402
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,600
No, no, I'll get it.
403
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,400
(coin clatters into box)
404
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,400
(electric motor
rattles and whirrs)
405
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,600
(loudly):
I'll turn it off!
406
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,100
Boy, I don't know
why people like this thing.
407
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,000
Let me kiss
your head, Woody.
408
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,400
Does that feel better?
409
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,700
Yeah, that feels a lot better.
410
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,100
(knocking)
411
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,800
Oh, no.
412
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,000
It's the manager.
413
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,600
He figured out
we're not married.
414
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,200
But, Woody, you told him
we're not married.
415
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,900
Then I guess it was easy
for him to piece together.
416
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,200
(knocking)
CARLA:
Woody, open the door!
417
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,100
Carla, what are
you doing here?
418
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,800
Oh, good,
you're still dressed.
419
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,500
Thank God I'm not too late.
420
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,100
I knew I would
find you guys here.
421
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:18,400
I gotta talk to you guys
before you make
422
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,400
what could be the worst mistake
of your lives.
423
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,500
What's she talking
about, Woody?
424
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,900
I'm talking about
you two getting together
425
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,600
in this motel room
for all the wrong reasons.
426
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,700
She's talking about
the two of us getting together
427
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,800
in this motel room
for all the wrong reasons.
428
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,100
Kids...
429
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,000
...making love...
430
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:47,400
is a very special thing
between two people.
431
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,500
You don't want
to throw that away
432
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,900
just so you can beat
some Frenchman to the punch.
433
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,500
Believe me.
434
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,900
I came to this motel
when I was 16 years old.
435
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,600
You know what happened?
436
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,000
I got knocked up.
437
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,800
And, uh, here I am,
438
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,500
eight kids later,
trying to talk you kids
439
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,300
out of making the same mistake.
440
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,200
Carla's right.
441
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,100
When it happens,
it has to be special.
442
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,700
It has to be the most
443
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,600
meaningful thing
in the whole world.
444
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,200
You know, if...
if it were up to me,
445
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,100
I... I think
we should wait.
446
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,600
You mean until
we're married?
447
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,900
No, until I can
afford a nice room
at the Four Seasons,
448
00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:39,600
instead of some
cheap motel.
449
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:40,800
No offense, Carla.
450
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,800
I know this place has
sentimental meaning to you.
451
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,600
Let's go.
452
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,400
Boy, I'm glad I could
help you guys.
453
00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:52,300
Yeah, I don't know
how to thank you, Carla.
454
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,500
Yeah, that's okay.
455
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,700
See, I told you
I could get us a vacancy.
456
00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:04,700
Come on, Frenchie.
457
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,400
Here's your big chance.
458
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:16,000
Steal me away from Woody.
459
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,700
Hey, Doc.
460
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,000
Where is everybody?
461
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,500
Have you seen Norm?
462
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,000
Well, Cliff,
Norm was pretty upset
463
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:33,000
about our little severed head
gag this afternoon.
464
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,300
He's been moping
in the pool room all day.
465
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,700
I... I don't know.
466
00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:42,100
Really? Gee, uh, it
was meant to be a joke.
467
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,200
Hey, Norm!
468
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:44,500
Come on out here, will you?
469
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,100
I didn't mean to scare you.
470
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,700
No, let me, let me
go see if he's okay.
471
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,300
Oh, my God!
472
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,700
Cliffie!
473
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,700
(screaming)
474
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:02,400
(screaming continues)
475
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,200
(both guffawing)
476
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,100
Very funny, Fras.
477
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:15,800
Hey, I go where
the thrills are.
33531
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