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1
00:00:00,792 --> 00:00:05,213
So Dan's sex doll's
been living with me. Um...
2
00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:07,215
After he threw her away last
week, I-I went and I got her
3
00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:09,551
and I took her home,
so she's living with me.
4
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,345
And, um, she talks to me.
5
00:00:12,345 --> 00:00:14,097
- You hear the
voice in your head
6
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,099
when you're looking at the doll
or is the doll...?
7
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,435
- The sound comes
from her, um, head.
8
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,936
From her face. You know.
9
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,147
Like, she can move her face.
10
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,231
Like, she... opens
her mouth and stuff
11
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,524
and she can, like, move her eyes
12
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,901
and make expressions and stuff.
13
00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,528
But she can't move
her, uh, head.
14
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,655
Like the-the head part
of her head. You know.
15
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,990
- The skull?
- The skull.
16
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,408
The-- Well,
the cranium or whatever.
17
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,201
It's, like, kind of frustrating,
18
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,786
'cause I have to do
everything for her.
19
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,997
- What kind of stuff
do you have to do for her?
20
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,665
- Um, she made me buy her
one of those T-shirts
21
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,500
that says "The
Future is Female."
22
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,544
- [laughs softly]
- And she wants a new vagina.
23
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,464
She wants, like,
a Cherry Blossom 7 series?
24
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:48,923
You know these...
25
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,051
Well, they're expensive,
26
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,886
and I told her I couldn't
afford it, and she was like,
27
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,054
"Well, you're a fucking dick."
28
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,638
[laughs]:
So...
29
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,892
- You know, we see this
a lot in children.
30
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,518
The invention of an
imaginary friend?
31
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,937
It's a very common
coping mechanism.
32
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:05,106
- Right. Like Drop Dead
Fred. - I haven't seen that
one.
33
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:06,983
- Well, eh, it's just okay.
I mean...
34
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,610
I kind of kept hoping
that they would hook up.
35
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,154
- Anyway, imaginary
friends usually pop up
36
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,782
during a time of transition,
a time of growth.
37
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:16,326
- Oh, no. They kissed, I think.
38
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,786
I can't remember.
- It's less common in adults,
39
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,080
sure, but I think this...
40
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,082
Does she have a name?
41
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,917
- Barbara.
42
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,420
- I think this Barbara
43
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:32,175
represents a part of you that
really wants to help heal you.
44
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,219
- Really?
- Yes.
45
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:37,305
So, as long as
she's not suggesting
46
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:39,432
you cause physical harm
to yourself or others,
47
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:43,228
I say embrace her.
48
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,105
BARBARA: I've been
doing some thinking.
49
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,524
We should kill Dan.
- What?
50
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,735
[dramatic organ music plays]
51
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:51,569
We're not, we're not
talking about this.
52
00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:52,987
We're not doing that.
- Cody.
53
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,115
Dan stole the best
years of my life,
54
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,493
and he literally threw me
out like I was fucking garbage.
55
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,995
He ravaged my vagina
like all men do.
56
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,331
- Okay, we're not killing
Dan. - Why?
57
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,583
- And I'm sorry that he,
like, ravaged your pussy...
58
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,294
- Thank you.
- ...but here's the thing, babe.
59
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,130
You can't say stuff like that.
60
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,422
- Why not?
- 'Cause my therapist told me
61
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,341
that if you did, I
had to get rid of you.
62
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,926
- Well, you can tell your
therapist to go fucking shove
63
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,053
up a-- I love her.
64
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:20,598
Because I was joking.
65
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,850
- I know you're just saying that
so that I won't get rid of you.
66
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,852
You're me. I know.
67
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:26,062
And, like... this week
has been fun or whatever,
68
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:29,149
but, like, I mean, you're really
mean to me all the time,
69
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,734
and we haven't actually done any
work on the tooth fairy pilot.
70
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,611
- Cody, I have to be
totally honest with you.
71
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:37,949
[whispers]: Like... your
pilot's a piece of shit.
72
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,826
- What are you--
what are you talking about?
73
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,661
In the dumpster the other night,
you were, like, excited.
74
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:42,912
You were pitching
me all this stuff.
75
00:02:42,912 --> 00:02:44,122
- We put lipstick on a pig.
76
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,832
Like, it's really bad, honey.
77
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,042
If it was on TV, I'd literally
rather kill myself.
78
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,460
- Okay, well, I have
to write a pilot.
79
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,045
I have to write something.
80
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,547
My agent told me that it...
[chuckles]
81
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,757
doesn't have to be anything.
- [gasps] Us.
82
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:57,218
- What-- Us what?
- The pilot's us.
83
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,179
A quirky, fun-loving sex doll
and her chunky human friend
84
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,722
taking on the world together.
85
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,932
I mean, it's,
like, aspirational.
86
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,684
- Okay, I just want to go back,
'cause when you say chunky,
87
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,394
you say it as though,
like, it's obvious.
88
00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:07,604
- Dude. It's, like,
female empowerment.
89
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,897
I mean, it's literally
got everything.
90
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,565
It could be, like, a
feminist masterpiece
91
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:13,860
or some shit.
- Like, but how's it feminist?
92
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,486
- What do you mean? All of it.
93
00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,363
Just, it's there. You know?
94
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:19,407
- I don't know, it's kind of
like a broad concept
95
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,658
to, like, try and say
something super important.
96
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:22,285
- Oh, my God, you
are being so stupid.
97
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,370
Trust me, it's such a good
idea, I swear. [phone vibrates]
98
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,080
- Okay. Oh, shit, I got to go.
99
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,498
- What?
100
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,917
Is it Dan?
- No.
101
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,335
- Ugh, you're
leaving me for Dan's?
102
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,878
Why? We just started riffing.
103
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,963
Cody. Cody, if you
leave right now,
104
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:35,882
I am not helping
you with your pilot.
105
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,760
And it's basically already
written in my head. Ha, ha, ha!
106
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,638
I'm laughing at a joke on
page nine right now! [chuckles]
107
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,139
[dramatic music playing over TV]
108
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,312
WOMAN [on TV]: He just
told me, "Stay away.
109
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,856
I've smelled this
smell before."
110
00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,775
I said, "What are
you talking about?"
111
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:58,071
And he goes, "It smells
like somebody's dead."
112
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,114
- What's up?
- Oh, uh, nothing,
113
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,616
I thought I-- never mind.
114
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,867
- Hmm?
- Are you okay?
115
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,535
I'm great.
116
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,746
Just collecting alloys.
- Yeah.
117
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,872
- You okay?
118
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,999
- Yeah. I'm okay.
119
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,251
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
120
00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,716
Um...
121
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,803
Okay, so...
122
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,723
Wh...
123
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:28,142
What if...
124
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:31,854
after you threw out
125
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:36,192
the sex doll, um...
126
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,778
what if I went into the garbage
and I took her out
127
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,698
and I took her home with me
128
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:46,953
and we became roommates and...
129
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,747
she was, like, talking to me?
130
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,502
- That's fucking brilliant!
131
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,298
- Um...
132
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,592
- That's your new pilot?
133
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,720
Oh, my God, and you were scared
134
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,138
I'd be mad because
it's about us?
135
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,932
- I guess I was, yeah.
136
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:11,894
- Baby, this is so much fucking
better than that tooth fairy
thing.
137
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:15,023
This is insane. It's, like, a
modern feminist Mister
Ed.
138
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,859
- Totally. Yeah.
139
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,073
Barbara, I missed
you while I was gone
140
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,868
and I was thinking about
that idea that we...
141
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,247
No, I haven't talked
to Dan about it.
142
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,124
[laughs]: Like, why would I
even bring it up to him?
143
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,418
It's...
144
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,503
Are we, like, in a fight?
Come on. Like, we're adults.
145
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,005
We're not gonna...
146
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:44,135
Barbara, that outfit is dope!
147
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,178
[quietly]:
Fuck.
148
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,388
[exhales]
149
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,140
["If You Were Here"
by Thompson Twins plays]
150
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:56,022
♪
151
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,690
[tires screeching]
152
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:07,658
Barbara... you're right.
153
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:11,079
I didn't trust you because
I didn't trust myself.
154
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,747
♪ If you were here ♪
155
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,666
♪ I could deceive you ♪
156
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,878
But now that you're
in my life...
157
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,547
♪ And if you were here ♪
158
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:23,841
♪ You would believe... ♪
159
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:27,428
...something's been
changing inside me.
160
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,305
♪ But would you suspect ♪
161
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:32,350
♪ My emotion... ♪
162
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,144
I've been thinking about what
it means to be a woman in this
world,
163
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,397
and I don't want to do it
like that anymore.
164
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:41,609
♪ A part of this anymore... ♪
165
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:44,278
The time has come for us
to lift each other up.
166
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:46,447
And heal each other.
167
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,664
It's time for a
new beginning.
168
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,589
♪ If you were here ♪
169
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,385
♪ I could deceive you ♪
170
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,054
♪ And if you
were here... ♪
12661
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