Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:03,086
["Bad Girls"
by Donna Summer playing]
2
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:23,481
♪
3
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:26,192
♪ Toot, toot, hey, beep, beep ♪
4
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:31,906
♪ Toot, toot, hey, beep, beep ♪
5
00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:35,410
♪ Toot, toot,
hey, beep, beep... ♪
6
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,871
Hey, babe, are these expired?
7
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,622
♪ Beep, beep ♪
8
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:42,167
♪ Bad girls ♪
9
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,668
♪ Talkin' 'bout... ♪
10
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,211
Still got it, you fucking slut.
11
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:50,842
♪ Sad girls... ♪
12
00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:54,929
Okay, so, what if I'm,
like, a flight attendant,
13
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,724
and we're on this
long-haul international flight,
14
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,684
and you're, like...
you're, like, this, like,
15
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,978
handsy, entitled
first-class passenger?
16
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,230
- Oh, yeah. So, wait.
17
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,816
So, I'm grabbing you, like,
in front of everyone, or...?
18
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:09,819
- Um... No. Okay, good point.
Maybe it's like, you know, uh...
19
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,821
Like, "Sir, you can't be
back here in the cockpit.
20
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,448
"Or the vestibule thing
21
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,949
"where the flight
attendants hang out.
22
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,159
Whatever that's called."
- So it's kind of like,
23
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,702
"Uh, excuse me, miss.
24
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,163
I'm gonna need you to
warm up these nuts."
25
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,165
- [exhales] Oh, I hated that.
- Ooh.
26
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,084
- I'm never gonna
fuck you again.
27
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,086
How do you have two
Emmys for writing?
28
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,420
- What are you talking about?
We both know
29
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,922
you wouldn't date me
if I didn't have those Emmys.
30
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,091
- That is not true.
That's so mean.
31
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,550
I am not dating you for Emmys.
32
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:35,178
I am dating you because...
33
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:38,640
you have a really nice house
and I really hate my apartment.
34
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,017
["Next to You"
by Sam Evian playing]
35
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,233
♪ I can feel your shadow ♪
36
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,819
♪ I just wanna be
next to you... ♪
37
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,654
What is this, like...
38
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,614
sequin glitter thing?
- Uh... it's probably
39
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,199
from one of your, uh...
- Where'd this even come from?
40
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,244
I don't fuck with glitter, man.
What? Like...
41
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,912
Oh, did you go to a strip club
or something?
42
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,789
- What? No!
- No, I-I...
43
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,957
We've been to strip clubs.
I have no problem
44
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,083
with strip clubs.
- Yeah, I know, I know.
45
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,459
No, I haven't been
to a strip club.
46
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,002
I haven't been to any...
- Okay.
47
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,838
Then are you cheating on me?
48
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,215
- No. Oh, my God. I'm not
cheating on you. - [laughs]
49
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,091
Okay, well, this is weird.
Where did this...?
- I have a sex doll.
50
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,262
- You what?
51
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,597
- I have a sex doll.
52
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:23,768
That I barely ever even...
53
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:26,437
use, and, uh...
- Oh.
54
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,356
- There's this one
dress with sparkles.
55
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,024
- Yeah, okay.
56
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:31,734
- That probably one
fell off, maybe.
57
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:32,902
- Yeah.
- And, um...
58
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,195
- No, that's totally fine. Um...
59
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,989
- Well, it-it...
60
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,158
it doesn't seem like
it's fine with you.
61
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,077
- No. No. I'm just, uh...
I'm-I'm just processing.
62
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,121
- I didn't tell you about it,
I didn't think
63
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,998
to tell you about it
'cause it's... it's no big deal.
64
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,499
I mean, it's like porn or
something. - Yeah.
65
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:47,917
No. [chuckles]
- It's a Fleshlight with boobs
66
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,210
that I got off of
a Japanese website.
67
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,296
- Ooh. She's from Japan.
68
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,006
Very international woman.
69
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,132
- [exhales]
- Is her name Kimiko?
70
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,092
- Oh, my God.
- Is she hotter than me?
71
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:56,885
Like, be honest. Like, if she's
hot... - Cody. Cody.
72
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,052
- If Kimiko's hotter than me...
73
00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,971
- Now you're mocking me.
- [chuckles]
74
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,307
Sorry. I'm not trying to
kink-shame you. I'm sorry
75
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,641
if that's what it felt like.
- No, no, no.
76
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,310
- I have a million fetishes.
77
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:08,188
I love this part of
our relationship.
78
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,565
I love that we do
all this weird shit together.
79
00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,691
[laughs]
Really.
80
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,068
I love that.
81
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,362
Can I just see her?
82
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,615
- No.
- Why not?
83
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:21,659
- It's my private gross thing.
84
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:24,287
Like the shit you
took this morning.
85
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,581
And I know you took a shit this
morning because we have honesty.
86
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,458
I don't know what
color it was...
87
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,293
because of privacy.
88
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,836
- Okay.
89
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,296
I mean, obviously, brown.
90
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:35,673
- You...
91
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,509
- I hear you.
This is a boundary.
92
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,471
It's all good. We're all good.
93
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,514
[exhales]
We're good.
94
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:46,059
♪ Guns are pointed at everyone ♪
95
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,895
♪ But together we're
better off... ♪
96
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,688
- You still want to, uh...?
97
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:52,941
- Um...
98
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,734
I don't know, I'm kind of tired.
99
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,155
- Tired enough for...
100
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:02,492
sexy autopsy?
101
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,036
- Yeah, okay.
102
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,205
So, am I, like, a pretty corpse,
or am I, like, all fucked-up?
103
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,414
- You're fucked-up.
- Okay.
104
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,124
- [snoring]
105
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,544
- Baby.
106
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,338
Dan.
107
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:19,676
Dan? You're snoring.
108
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,511
Can you roll on
your side, please?
109
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,137
- [snoring continues]
110
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,557
- [exhales]
111
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,938
[groans]
112
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,982
[urinating]
113
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,817
[farts]
114
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,449
[toilet flushes]
115
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,578
[intriguing music playing]
116
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,110
[music stops]
117
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,653
WOMAN [whispers]:
Hey!
118
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,371
- Hello?
119
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,581
WOMAN:
Psst!
120
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,208
I'm in here.
121
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:35,710
I can hear you.
122
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,795
I know you're out there.
123
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,922
You breathe, like, really heavy.
124
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,263
Hey!
125
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,850
Sup?
126
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,643
[intriguing music playing]
127
00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,645
- Um...
128
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,939
Kimiko?
129
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,441
- Who's Kimiko?
130
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,818
- Holy shit. Oh, um...
131
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:04,113
Well, I mean, I...
132
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:07,200
I, like, jokingly named
you Kimi... Kimiko
133
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,576
'cause you were made in Japan.
134
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,578
- Oh, my God.
135
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,705
That's, like, really
fucking racist.
136
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,166
- Oh, n... I mean...
137
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,543
Like, I only said it
in front of Dan, so...
138
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,337
- Okay. Well,
that doesn't make it any better.
139
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,005
Uh, anyway, hi.
140
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,632
[laughs]
Hello. I'm Barbara.
141
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:23,925
Barbara Himmelbaum-Harmon.
142
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,259
- Barbara. Okay.
143
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,095
Barbara, sorry. I'm so sorry.
144
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,388
- It's okay. It's fine.
145
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,098
It's fine, girl.
146
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:33,726
Actually, you know what?
147
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,853
There is something you could do
that would really help me out.
148
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,313
Just so that you can make it up
to me because you're racist
149
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,689
and that was really offensive.
150
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:41,317
So, I have, like, a
ton of Dan's splooge
151
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:42,318
dried up inside of me.
- What?
152
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,736
- Yeah.
[laughs]
153
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,489
It's so cute.
Dan comes inside of me
154
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,990
a lot, and then, like, I think
155
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,283
he gets so caught
up in the passion
156
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:51,202
that he actually
forgets to wash me.
157
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,413
Like, he'll wipe the outside
of me with a T-shirt sometimes,
158
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,956
- but he doesn't even always do
that. - What? Oh, my God.
159
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,874
- Look. Girl, look
how crusty it is.
160
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,256
- Fuck, gross!
- I know, right?
161
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,258
You would do me, like,
a huge favor if you'd wash me.
162
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,218
- No! No. Dude, absolutely not.
163
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,262
I... I can't move you.
164
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,514
He can't even know that
I saw you. Like, fuck.
165
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,141
Our whole, like,
mission statement as a couple
166
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,976
is, like, honesty and no lies,
167
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,395
and I've totally invaded
his privacy already. Fuck!
168
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,397
- Right. Like, I hear you,
but do you really want him
169
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,606
to fuck you with his dick
after it's been inside
170
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,191
this crusty pussy?
171
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:25,361
- Oh, Jesus Christ, Barbara!
I don't know.
172
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:28,489
Like, he takes
showers or whatever.
173
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,700
- Yeah, but you can't shower an
infection out of the dickhole,
dumbass.
174
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,285
This has happened
to friends of mine.
175
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,911
He's gonna get a
disease from fucking
176
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,080
his own dried-up jizz flakes.
- Oh, my God.
177
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,291
- And then he's gonna pass that
disease on to your vibrant,
living pussy.
178
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,709
You're gonna have to
go to your doctor.
179
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,836
You're gonna have to explain
what happened.
180
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,838
- Okay. Barbara?
- Yeah.
181
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,673
- Barbara?
Here's what's happening.
182
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,509
I'm a little fucked-up right now
'cause I took, like, expired...
183
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:51,888
um, these homeopathic,
like, melatonin gummies,
184
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,473
and I've h... I've
smoked a lot of weed.
185
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,683
But clearly I'm having, like,
a hallucinatory episode
186
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,602
where you came to life
and, like, beckoned me in here
187
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,479
'cause I just needed to see you,
188
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480
and I didn't want to
take responsibility
189
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,440
for snooping, you know?
190
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,567
So here we are, and, like,
you're super fucking hot.
191
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,985
- Thank you. I know.
- I feel
192
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,403
really insecure about it,
193
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:08,821
and there's nothing we can do
about that now.
194
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:09,989
- No, no, no, no,
no, there are things!
195
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,407
There is! Babe.
196
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,159
Babe, there's Botox.
There's Juvéderm.
197
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,162
You would benefit so much
198
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,663
from a forehead enlargement.
199
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,290
I don't know if it's a thing.
200
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,167
- Okay, Barbara?
201
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,336
- I'm gonna go ahead
and say your forehead's stocky.
202
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,129
- I'm gonna go back
to bed right now,
203
00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:28,090
and when I wake up,
you're gonna be inanimate again,
204
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,884
and I'm gonna buy a new bottle
of melatonin,
205
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,344
and we never have
to do this again.
206
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,012
It was so nice meeting you.
207
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,680
- No, no, no, no.
Cody, please, please, please.
208
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:35,890
Cody, let's just talk
about this, girl.
209
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,767
I like you so much.
210
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,685
Cody, you're being such
a dumb cunt right now!
15214
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
