All language subtitles for The Simpsons - 35x08 - Ae Bonny Romance.BAE.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,800 Hustle up, snot rockets. 2 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,343 Today we start a unit 3 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,805 that will test your physical and emotional endurance. 4 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:17,266 It will make men of you, if you survive. 5 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,271 I speak of social dancing. 6 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,902 If we dance with girls, that means 7 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,280 we'll have to touch them. 8 00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:33,323 My mom says only sheeple wear masks, 9 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:34,366 but I don't care. 10 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:38,162 Cooties aren't a hoax. They're real. 11 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:40,164 Grow up. Maturity. 12 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,832 - Rite of passage. - Ow! 13 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:42,958 - Change is beautiful. - Ow! 14 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,669 You will learn the touchiest version 15 00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,296 of the Texas two-step. 16 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,756 Like so. 17 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,177 Get real close, boys! 18 00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:55,095 Body to body. No daylight. 19 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,181 We're gonna get cooties for sure. 20 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:58,974 I'm gonna find a way to protect us. 21 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,685 Everyone solo dance till I get back. 22 00:01:06,128 --> 00:01:07,879 _ 23 00:01:09,023 --> 00:01:10,120 _ 24 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,904 Perfect. 25 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,698 Quick, put these band-aids on your hands. 26 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,992 They'll block any and all girl contact. 27 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,494 Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 28 00:01:21,598 --> 00:01:23,807 Oh, I don't feel so good. 29 00:01:23,809 --> 00:01:28,103 Oh, these band-aids smell like my uncle Claude. 30 00:01:28,105 --> 00:01:29,938 Uh-oh. 31 00:01:29,940 --> 00:01:32,149 Transdermal 32 00:01:32,151 --> 00:01:36,027 nic... o... tine! 33 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:56,506 Well, Bart, you've really wet the mogwai this time. 34 00:01:56,508 --> 00:01:58,884 This wasn't my fault. I didn't know those band-aids 35 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:00,343 would make everyone crazy. 36 00:02:00,345 --> 00:02:02,262 You expect me to believe that? 37 00:02:02,264 --> 00:02:04,306 Bart Simpson, the prank king? 38 00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:06,600 The boy who live streamed my colonoscopy 39 00:02:06,602 --> 00:02:08,143 to the second graders? 40 00:02:08,145 --> 00:02:09,895 Hey, Ralph did find that polyp. 41 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,354 It was benign. 42 00:02:11,356 --> 00:02:13,315 Unlike your punishment. 43 00:02:13,317 --> 00:02:15,942 Fine, don't believe me. No one ever believes me. 44 00:02:15,944 --> 00:02:17,444 Do your worst. 45 00:02:17,446 --> 00:02:20,864 Welcome to supermax detention. 46 00:02:23,327 --> 00:02:25,118 Your worst was did. 47 00:02:27,071 --> 00:02:30,290 Did you see that video with the dancing Canadian boy? 48 00:02:30,292 --> 00:02:32,083 Yeah. Cute. 49 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:35,504 Did you see the "unlikely animal friends" video with the... 50 00:02:35,506 --> 00:02:37,964 Raccoon and horse riding around. Good for them. 51 00:02:37,966 --> 00:02:41,092 Mm-hmm, they'll do that. 52 00:02:41,719 --> 00:02:42,719 Oh. 53 00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:45,430 Homer, we just got invited to a wedding... 54 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,557 én the Poconos. 55 00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,935 It's a destination wedding. 56 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,312 - Oh, God, no. - What? 57 00:02:52,314 --> 00:02:55,607 Let me educate you about destination weddings. 58 00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:59,694 Or, as I like to call them, forced vacations. 59 00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:01,655 You fly halfway across the country 60 00:03:01,657 --> 00:03:04,783 to sit in a boring church, not on Sunday. 61 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,826 Then you're stuck in a lousy hotel 62 00:03:06,828 --> 00:03:09,037 for a whole weekend with a bunch of people 63 00:03:09,039 --> 00:03:12,249 you don't know, or you do know and you hate. 64 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:14,292 And that's just the beginning. 65 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:16,127 First there's the "welcome drinks," 66 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:19,005 where the "signature cocktail" has a... 67 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,007 cucumber in it. 68 00:03:21,009 --> 00:03:23,009 And this one's in the Poconos, 69 00:03:23,011 --> 00:03:27,180 which sounds like islands, but it's just Pennsylvania. 70 00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:29,516 And you're forced to do all these 71 00:03:29,518 --> 00:03:31,309 preplanned activities, 72 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,895 like a zipline you're too fat to use. 73 00:03:33,897 --> 00:03:36,690 And they have to bring in a telephone bucket truck 74 00:03:36,692 --> 00:03:38,525 to get you down! 75 00:03:38,527 --> 00:03:40,527 And at the after-wedding brunch, 76 00:03:40,529 --> 00:03:44,489 everyone calls you Johnny Zipline. 77 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:47,367 And they open the presents in front of everybody, 78 00:03:47,369 --> 00:03:50,120 so they all know from the online registry 79 00:03:50,122 --> 00:03:51,454 yours is the cheapest. 80 00:03:51,456 --> 00:03:54,416 And it's all super expensive, so you have to waste 81 00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:56,543 all the airline miles you got 82 00:03:56,545 --> 00:03:59,462 when your credit card was stolen by scammers, 83 00:03:59,464 --> 00:04:02,549 who bought $50,000 of printer toner! 84 00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:05,760 Of course. Yes. The toner miles. 85 00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:08,013 We can use them to fly to the wedding. 86 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,640 Oh... but my rant. 87 00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:13,602 Homer Simpson, I can't think of anything more romantic 88 00:04:13,604 --> 00:04:16,980 than transporting ourselves to a magical setting 89 00:04:16,982 --> 00:04:19,190 to celebrate a new love. 90 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,610 We are going. 91 00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:27,907 There. Done. 92 00:04:27,909 --> 00:04:29,492 Clean it again. 93 00:04:29,494 --> 00:04:31,411 Ugh! This isn't fair. 94 00:04:31,413 --> 00:04:32,704 I didn't do anything wrong. 95 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,331 My only crime is I didn't want to do dancing 96 00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:36,124 with some stupid girls! 97 00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:38,293 Girls? That's why you're here? 98 00:04:39,118 --> 00:04:40,712 Be a man, boy. 99 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:44,257 Don't fall apart over some lassie 100 00:04:44,259 --> 00:04:48,345 with silky hair and a dimple you could get lost in 101 00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:51,348 like a bottomless pit of sweetness that... 102 00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,317 Oh, that feels better. 103 00:04:58,352 --> 00:05:01,816 So, you want to tell me about this girl? 104 00:05:02,724 --> 00:05:03,902 Take a seat. 105 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,491 It all happened in Scotland, in me youth. 106 00:05:09,493 --> 00:05:13,078 There was this girl that I loved. Maisie. 107 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,121 I thought she loved me back. 108 00:05:15,123 --> 00:05:17,082 But she broke my heart. 109 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,167 That's why I came to America, 110 00:05:19,169 --> 00:05:21,378 blighted land of barbenheimmering 111 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,754 wrestling believers. 112 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:26,007 To forget the fickle lass who let Willie down. 113 00:05:26,009 --> 00:05:29,177 And all women! 114 00:05:29,179 --> 00:05:30,887 I'm with you, brother. 115 00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,182 Who needs girls? 116 00:05:34,184 --> 00:05:36,476 Now we're rage-bonding. 117 00:05:38,143 --> 00:05:40,230 Men don't let men down. 118 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:45,068 This is how we express emotion! 119 00:05:46,571 --> 00:05:47,946 ♪ We're gonna have a good day ♪ 120 00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,781 - ♪ And all my homies gonna ride today ♪ - _ 121 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:53,451 - ♪ And all these mommies look fly today ♪ - _ 122 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,203 - ♪ And all we wanna do is get by today ♪ - _ 123 00:05:55,205 --> 00:05:56,538 ♪ Hey ♪ 124 00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:57,872 - ♪ We're gonna have a good day. ♪ - _ 125 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,540 Willie, get your wheelbarrow. 126 00:05:59,542 --> 00:06:02,752 You won't believe what they threw out at the hospital. 127 00:06:02,754 --> 00:06:06,589 Huh? Willie? Willie? 128 00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:08,466 Seymour, Willie's gone. 129 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,051 I can't find him anywhere. 130 00:06:10,053 --> 00:06:12,428 Ha. Willie disappears all the time. 131 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:16,224 He's probably drunk in a ditch on the outskirts of town. 132 00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:20,228 Oh, my God. Willie? 133 00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:23,564 And then there's all the creepy wedding weekend hook-ups, 134 00:06:23,566 --> 00:06:26,192 which lead to the next destination wedding. 135 00:06:26,194 --> 00:06:27,902 Dad, snap out of it. 136 00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,362 Something's happened to Willie. 137 00:06:29,364 --> 00:06:32,281 Someone trashed his shack, and I can't find him anywhere. 138 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:37,161 - It's him. - Bart, my wee bestie. 139 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:41,249 I'm in Edinburgh. I need you. Help! 140 00:06:46,381 --> 00:06:47,922 Somebody kidnapped Willie. 141 00:06:47,924 --> 00:06:50,133 We've got to go to Scotland and help him. 142 00:06:50,135 --> 00:06:53,469 I'm the only person who cares about him in the world. 143 00:06:54,403 --> 00:06:56,764 Homie, Bart's begged us for a lot of things, 144 00:06:56,766 --> 00:06:59,726 but I've never seen this look in his eye before. 145 00:06:59,728 --> 00:07:02,687 Not even when he begged us for that neck tattoo 146 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,398 of a rattlesnake with a hand grenade tail. 147 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,776 But we can't just fly to Scotland. 148 00:07:08,778 --> 00:07:11,779 Marge, there is one way. 149 00:07:11,781 --> 00:07:13,489 No, don't say it. 150 00:07:13,491 --> 00:07:15,283 I have to say it. 151 00:07:15,285 --> 00:07:17,452 - No. - The miles. 152 00:07:17,454 --> 00:07:19,996 But-but the Poconos. 153 00:07:19,998 --> 00:07:23,666 The miles, Marge. They're transferable. 154 00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:27,420 I know. I know they are. 155 00:07:27,422 --> 00:07:31,207 Ugh, I guess we're not going to that destination wedding 156 00:07:31,209 --> 00:07:32,800 after all. 157 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,982 That's the building from Willie's call. 158 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,569 Willie, where are you? 159 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,821 Bart, is that you? 160 00:07:53,823 --> 00:07:55,656 I'll save you, Willie! 161 00:07:55,658 --> 00:07:58,242 I won't let those bastards... 162 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,072 pass you appetizers? 163 00:08:00,107 --> 00:08:03,790 Oh, Bart, you came. And just in time. 164 00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:06,209 - In time for what? - My wedding. 165 00:08:06,211 --> 00:08:08,377 Willie's getting married! 166 00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:09,545 Married?! 167 00:08:10,715 --> 00:08:12,757 Welcome bags, schedule of events. 168 00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,593 Losers from home, new people I already hate. 169 00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:16,677 This is a... 170 00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:18,971 Destination wedding. 171 00:08:18,973 --> 00:08:23,017 No...! 172 00:08:29,025 --> 00:08:31,734 What the hell, boy? A destination wedding? 173 00:08:31,736 --> 00:08:34,320 You promised me a kidnapping, or murder. 174 00:08:34,322 --> 00:08:35,780 Yeah, Willie, what the hell? 175 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:38,241 On that call, it sounded like someone was killing you. 176 00:08:38,493 --> 00:08:42,244 Oh, that was just Ìaisie coming in for a snog. 177 00:08:42,246 --> 00:08:45,873 Give us a smooch, you big, ugly bawbag. 178 00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:49,168 Aw haud yer weesht 'fore I boke. 179 00:08:56,010 --> 00:08:59,470 Maisie? Isn't that the girl that betrayed you? 180 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,349 Well, there is a bit of a story there. 181 00:09:03,351 --> 00:09:07,353 A love story. Ooh, please say it's long. 182 00:09:07,355 --> 00:09:10,564 It's all in the welcome-cocktail slide show. 183 00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:12,233 Oh! 184 00:09:16,239 --> 00:09:19,198 I was working for Ìaisie's da, 185 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,617 harvesting peat in the peat bogs. 186 00:09:21,619 --> 00:09:25,037 Burning peat is what gives whiskey its distinctive flavor. 187 00:09:25,039 --> 00:09:28,582 And Willie could sniff out the best bogs of them all. 188 00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:30,292 And that's how we met. 189 00:09:30,294 --> 00:09:33,129 It was a "peat cute." 190 00:09:33,131 --> 00:09:37,216 I was the happiest mud smeller in the world. 191 00:09:37,218 --> 00:09:39,760 But her family disapproved of me. 192 00:09:39,762 --> 00:09:41,637 They tried to shovel us apart, 193 00:09:41,639 --> 00:09:45,182 so we made plans to elope and sail away together. 194 00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,017 But when I waited at the docks, 195 00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:48,811 she did nae show. 196 00:09:48,813 --> 00:09:52,481 So I left for America, alone and bitter. 197 00:09:52,483 --> 00:09:55,234 The reason I didn't show was my family told me 198 00:09:55,236 --> 00:09:57,233 Willie was eaten by a sheep. 199 00:09:57,268 --> 00:10:01,824 But when I saw your TikTok, I knew my love was alive. 200 00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:05,035 She slid right into my DMs. 201 00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:08,080 We started sexting right away. 202 00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,709 So I dropped everything and came back, 203 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,210 where the whole family was waiting 204 00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:16,255 with open arms and an apology haggis. 205 00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:21,177 Oh, Willie, we cannot wait to shove that wonderful 206 00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:24,138 nose of yours in the bogs again and take our whiskey 207 00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:26,974 right back to the top. 208 00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:30,060 Willie was the one person who understood my anger. 209 00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,855 Now it's like all our screaming meant nothing. 210 00:10:32,857 --> 00:10:34,857 Yeah, well, everything I hate about these things 211 00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:36,066 is coming true. 212 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:37,985 We just got here, and the weird hook-ups 213 00:10:37,987 --> 00:10:39,987 have already started. 214 00:10:39,989 --> 00:10:43,657 So, is there a lunch Mr. Dora? 215 00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:46,535 Ew. 216 00:10:47,955 --> 00:10:50,080 Mom, how come Lisa doesn't have to do 217 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,291 all this lovey-dovey wedding crap? 218 00:10:52,293 --> 00:10:53,834 Well, your sister isn't best friends 219 00:10:53,836 --> 00:10:55,211 with the school janitor, 220 00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:58,047 so she went off to tour Edinburgh on her own. 221 00:10:58,049 --> 00:11:01,008 Okay, I rubbed the toe of David Hume's statue. 222 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:03,135 I climbed the Walter Scott monument. 223 00:11:03,137 --> 00:11:05,679 I ate something called a scotch egg, 224 00:11:05,681 --> 00:11:07,681 which I very much regret. 225 00:11:08,137 --> 00:11:09,725 The fringe festival. 226 00:11:09,727 --> 00:11:11,769 A celebration of theatrical irony 227 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,188 and self-awareness. 228 00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:17,233 One for Musical: The Play, please. 229 00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:20,694 Sorry, darling, this ticket booth is Ticket Booth, 230 00:11:20,696 --> 00:11:22,363 a one-man show about a ticket booth. 231 00:11:22,365 --> 00:11:24,198 If you want to buy a ticket for Ticket Booth, 232 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,116 the Ticket Booth ticket booth is over there. 233 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:29,036 It's so clever without being good. 234 00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:30,382 _ 235 00:11:31,207 --> 00:11:34,241 Thanks for joining us on our love hike 236 00:11:34,243 --> 00:11:37,336 from Moorland heath to Heathland moor. 237 00:11:37,338 --> 00:11:39,088 And now, a gentle stroll 238 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:42,091 through the seven hills of Edinburgh. 239 00:11:42,927 --> 00:11:46,053 Aw, why can't all hills go down? 240 00:11:48,237 --> 00:11:50,057 And look at all this cutesy romantic crap 241 00:11:50,059 --> 00:11:51,850 they're forcing us to do. 242 00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:55,271 When am I gonna get some free time?! 243 00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,982 Listen, mister, you're the one who dragged us here, 244 00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,776 spending a lifetime of frequent-flier miles, 245 00:12:00,778 --> 00:12:03,028 and I'm not gonna let you ruin this for me. 246 00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:05,739 So how about you just suck it up 247 00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:07,825 and do the cute activities? 248 00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,911 - ♪ If you find yourself caught in love ♪ - _ 249 00:12:10,913 --> 00:12:14,915 ♪ Say a prayer to the man above ♪ 250 00:12:14,917 --> 00:12:17,626 ♪ Thank him for everything you know ♪ 251 00:12:17,628 --> 00:12:20,879 - ♪ You should thank him for every breath you blow ♪ - _ 252 00:12:22,383 --> 00:12:25,301 ♪ If you find yourself caught in love ♪ 253 00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:28,387 ♪ Say a prayer to the man above ♪ 254 00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:31,724 - ♪ Thank him for every day you pass ♪ - _ 255 00:12:31,726 --> 00:12:34,852 ♪ You should thank him for saving your sorry ass. ♪ 256 00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,979 Look, Lis, I'm gonna ask you for something 257 00:12:36,981 --> 00:12:39,440 I've never asked before. Your opinion. 258 00:12:39,442 --> 00:12:41,567 You literally haven't said a word to me 259 00:12:41,569 --> 00:12:42,860 this entire trip. 260 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:44,820 Well, now I am, okay? 261 00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:46,447 Oh... 262 00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:48,907 Hanging out with Willie was the one time 263 00:12:48,909 --> 00:12:52,119 I ever felt I wasn't the only crazy one, 264 00:12:52,121 --> 00:12:53,912 that someone understood me. 265 00:12:53,914 --> 00:12:56,206 And now he's gone goo-goo for this girl 266 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,250 whose family screwed him over. 267 00:12:58,252 --> 00:12:59,585 What do I do? 268 00:12:59,587 --> 00:13:01,337 Well, when someone gets a chance 269 00:13:01,339 --> 00:13:03,047 to put an end to their loneliness, 270 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,423 they gotta take it. 271 00:13:04,425 --> 00:13:06,759 Have you ever seen Willie this happy? 272 00:13:09,847 --> 00:13:11,847 Not even when Skinner got kicked in the face 273 00:13:11,849 --> 00:13:13,766 at the Krav Maga assembly. 274 00:13:13,768 --> 00:13:17,019 So be happy for his happiness. 275 00:13:22,971 --> 00:13:24,196 So, Maisie, 276 00:13:24,231 --> 00:13:26,737 tell me more about your fairy-tale romance. 277 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,448 You're like two shreks in a swamp. 278 00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,158 Aw, it's the same old story. 279 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,702 Numpty meets bird, they start to doggin', 280 00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:35,871 get told each is deid, then reunite 281 00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:38,457 and pick right up again with the hochmagandy. 282 00:13:39,197 --> 00:13:40,918 That's so romantic. 283 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,711 Unlike... ugh. 284 00:13:42,713 --> 00:13:44,296 Hmm? Mmm. 285 00:13:44,298 --> 00:13:47,299 You know what, I'm making a toast. 286 00:13:47,301 --> 00:13:49,009 Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. 287 00:13:49,011 --> 00:13:50,761 - Shut up, everybody. - Ah! 288 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:54,682 Look at these kids, so in love. 289 00:13:54,684 --> 00:13:56,600 When Homer and I first got together, 290 00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:57,768 we were the same. 291 00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:00,270 We couldn't keep our hands off each other. 292 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:04,400 Now we just spend every night doom-scrolling our life away, 293 00:14:04,402 --> 00:14:08,487 and watching a squirrel surf on the back of an alligator. 294 00:14:08,489 --> 00:14:11,115 Marge! Trashing our marriage is something that should 295 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:13,325 only be done in the privacy of our home. 296 00:14:13,327 --> 00:14:16,328 And that's our romance for the ages. 297 00:14:16,330 --> 00:14:20,457 It began with a wild night in a mini-golf windmill, 298 00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:23,585 and now... 299 00:14:23,587 --> 00:14:25,087 How can you say that?! 300 00:14:25,089 --> 00:14:27,047 This is the worst thing that's ever happened 301 00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:29,550 in the beheading room of this castle. 302 00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:37,683 Bart, I want to thank you for bringing me back to Maisie. 303 00:14:37,685 --> 00:14:39,977 I've never been so happy. 304 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,979 You know, I think I get it. 305 00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,106 Good lad. That's why I'm giving you 306 00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:46,692 a very important role in the wedding. 307 00:14:46,694 --> 00:14:49,528 You're going to lead the dance. 308 00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:51,697 Ooh, a spikey American. 309 00:14:55,675 --> 00:14:59,246 No! Men don't let men down! 310 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,543 Our cake. 311 00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:07,838 Now what will you shove in my gob? 312 00:15:11,594 --> 00:15:14,386 You wee bastard. 313 00:15:14,388 --> 00:15:16,346 You ruined my wedding. 314 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:17,389 Good. 315 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,098 That's the only friend that you made in America? 316 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,135 Aye. 317 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,734 Oh, my head. Homie, what do you take 318 00:15:28,736 --> 00:15:31,570 for a hangover? Huh? 319 00:15:32,823 --> 00:15:34,281 Oh, fine, be that way. 320 00:15:34,283 --> 00:15:37,284 For once, I'm the one who spoke truth while drunk. 321 00:15:38,366 --> 00:15:41,747 Oh-oh. Running away from a fight, huh?! 322 00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:44,416 Well, I'm still mad at you! 323 00:15:44,418 --> 00:15:46,043 Well, I'm still mad at you! 324 00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:48,921 You told everyone that I don't care about romance, 325 00:15:48,923 --> 00:15:52,433 and now they think Homer Simpson is vanilla 326 00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:53,527 in the sack! 327 00:15:53,562 --> 00:15:56,512 Homer Simpson is vanilla in the sack! 328 00:15:56,514 --> 00:15:57,930 Vanilla in the sack! 329 00:15:57,932 --> 00:15:59,556 Vanilla in the sack! 330 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:01,225 Vanilla in the sack! 331 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,310 Bad at sex! 332 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,191 I can't believe I ever looked up to that guy. 333 00:16:09,193 --> 00:16:10,859 Stupid Willie. 334 00:16:13,197 --> 00:16:14,946 Stupid Willie. 335 00:16:14,948 --> 00:16:17,574 That nobody thinks he can be a macweldon? 336 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:20,077 Ha! All he's good for is his nose. 337 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,746 Once they're married, Willie will sniff out 338 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:25,540 a mother lode of good peat. 339 00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,250 And then he's out! 340 00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:28,960 And then Maisie can find a proper husband, 341 00:16:28,962 --> 00:16:30,879 not some floor-waxing puke-mopper. 342 00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:35,217 This whole thing was a setup to use Willie? 343 00:16:35,219 --> 00:16:37,511 That girl doesn't even love him? 344 00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:40,430 Why would you do that to my friend? 345 00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:43,100 Wee sleekit cowerin' timerous beasties 346 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:48,063 shouldn't stick their nebs in other people's bizzo. 347 00:16:48,065 --> 00:16:51,108 I have no idea what you just said. 348 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,692 B-But I get the context. 349 00:16:54,571 --> 00:16:57,697 - Let me out! - Oh, no, you're staying right here 350 00:16:57,699 --> 00:17:01,535 with your only entertainment, this cribbage board. 351 00:17:05,707 --> 00:17:08,333 Hey, where are the pegs? 352 00:17:08,335 --> 00:17:11,002 Oh, they're in this little drawer. 353 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,222 Homer would never get how sweet this is. 354 00:17:20,257 --> 00:17:23,473 How'd I wind up with the most unromantic man on earth? 355 00:17:25,269 --> 00:17:28,353 - _ - Why is he texting me during a wedding? 356 00:17:29,773 --> 00:17:31,189 - _ - Hmm? 357 00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:39,865 They shouldn't be together, but they are. 358 00:17:41,535 --> 00:17:43,368 Oh... 359 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,041 Homer! 360 00:17:50,043 --> 00:17:51,543 Marge! 361 00:17:51,545 --> 00:17:55,172 Did you get my gorilla-dolphin video? 362 00:17:55,174 --> 00:17:58,884 It was so unlikely, just like us. 363 00:17:58,886 --> 00:18:01,303 That's why I sent it to you! 364 00:18:01,305 --> 00:18:03,805 I'm sorry I trashed our marriage 365 00:18:03,807 --> 00:18:05,807 in a rehearsal dinner toast. 366 00:18:05,809 --> 00:18:10,103 I'm sorry I was such a downer about this destination wedding. 367 00:18:10,105 --> 00:18:12,689 I should have just pretended to go along with it, 368 00:18:12,691 --> 00:18:15,984 like I do with everything else in our marriage. 369 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,657 I don't care if our romance began 370 00:18:22,659 --> 00:18:25,452 when we did it on a mini-golf course. 371 00:18:25,454 --> 00:18:27,204 It's still epic. 372 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:29,915 How epic would it be if we did it on 373 00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:33,543 the best golf course in the world? 374 00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:37,005 You are so romantic. 375 00:18:37,007 --> 00:18:40,425 Fore... play. 376 00:18:45,307 --> 00:18:47,098 I gotta get out of here and warn Willie 377 00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,601 that girl's just marrying him for his nose. 378 00:18:54,608 --> 00:18:57,734 Birdseed bags, soap with Willie's face on it, 379 00:18:57,736 --> 00:18:58,985 sleep masks. 380 00:18:58,987 --> 00:19:00,570 Aha. 381 00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:04,950 I, groundskeeper Willie, take you, booze-maker Maisie... 382 00:19:04,952 --> 00:19:06,034 Stop the wedding. 383 00:19:06,036 --> 00:19:07,285 Stop the wedding! 384 00:19:07,585 --> 00:19:09,204 What are you doing, boy? 385 00:19:09,206 --> 00:19:11,456 Why don't you want Willie to be happy? 386 00:19:12,488 --> 00:19:13,533 I do! 387 00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:15,001 This girl doesn't love you. 388 00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:17,087 Her family only brought you here 389 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,964 for your peat sniffing. 390 00:19:19,621 --> 00:19:22,801 Pa, Hamish, Owen, can this be true? 391 00:19:22,803 --> 00:19:24,386 Of course it's true. 392 00:19:24,388 --> 00:19:26,263 You're just a nose to us. 393 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,098 We've got to compete with 394 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,558 all these celebrity booze brands. 395 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,645 From your tall, dark Clooneys to your wee Danny DeVitos, 396 00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:37,315 there's no room for a passable entry-level scotch. 397 00:19:37,317 --> 00:19:40,360 William, I didn't know about any of this. 398 00:19:40,362 --> 00:19:44,030 I swear, I'd love you even if you never sniffed 399 00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:46,366 another bog as long as you lived. 400 00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:48,952 I wish I could believe you. 401 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,662 I'll prove it. 402 00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:57,919 Ah, you broke my sniffer. 403 00:19:57,921 --> 00:19:59,713 You do love me. 404 00:19:59,715 --> 00:20:02,799 - Forever and a day. Ugh! - Ow. 405 00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,719 I'll never smell nothing again. 406 00:20:05,721 --> 00:20:07,095 Aww. 407 00:20:07,097 --> 00:20:09,222 I think I get it, Lisa. 408 00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:11,182 I understand love now. 409 00:20:26,371 --> 00:20:29,409 ♪ Willie was a lonely guy ♪ 410 00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:31,077 ♪ Cleaning out toilets ♪ 411 00:20:31,079 --> 00:20:33,121 ♪ And sawdusting puke ♪ 412 00:20:33,123 --> 00:20:36,207 ♪ Watching as his life went by ♪ 413 00:20:36,209 --> 00:20:39,961 ♪ His only friend was a ten-year-old boy ♪ 414 00:20:39,963 --> 00:20:42,422 ♪ Maisie was a Scottish lass ♪ 415 00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:46,426 ♪ Thinking that her love was killed by a sheep ♪ 416 00:20:46,428 --> 00:20:49,804 ♪ 20 long years did pass ♪ 417 00:20:49,806 --> 00:20:53,725 ♪ Then she saw him on a Chinese social media app ♪ 418 00:20:53,727 --> 00:20:57,312 ♪ Willie raced to Scotland, Simpsons had to follow ♪ 419 00:20:57,314 --> 00:21:01,062 ♪ Destination wedding, Homer full of sorrow ♪ 420 00:21:01,097 --> 00:21:03,985 ♪ Bart was total raging, Marge got mad at Homer ♪ 421 00:21:03,987 --> 00:21:07,739 ♪ Marge got really steaming, not affect the wedding ♪ 422 00:21:07,741 --> 00:21:09,157 ♪ Made a drunken toast ♪ 423 00:21:09,159 --> 00:21:11,326 ♪ Lisa loved the festival ♪ 424 00:21:11,328 --> 00:21:12,994 ♪ And you just saw it in this show ♪ 425 00:21:12,996 --> 00:21:14,621 ♪ And we all love the musical ♪ 426 00:21:14,623 --> 00:21:16,373 ♪ The wedding day turned out triumphant ♪ 427 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,124 ♪ This love song is redundant ♪ 428 00:21:18,126 --> 00:21:21,480 ♪ Remember how it used to be ♪ 429 00:21:21,515 --> 00:21:25,757 ♪ When our love was young, many golden memories. ♪ 430 00:21:29,763 --> 00:21:31,179 Shh! 431 00:21:34,046 --> 00:21:37,042 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 31621

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