All language subtitles for The Moaning Of Life S01E02 Happiness DVDRip LKRG.en

NARRATOR: For centuries,
life's big questions

have challenged
some of the world's greatest minds.

The need for love, marriage
and lifelong commitment.

The yearning to reproduce
and the survival of the human race.

The search for a vocation,
the desire to find happiness

-and the inevitable, death.
- (BELL TOLLS)

But Karl Pilkington has not given
a second thought to any of these issues.

This cat's cross-eyed.
I've never seen that before.

NARRATOR: Now he's turned 40,
he thinks it's time he did.

(BURPS)

He's travelling around the world
to see how other people deal

with life's big questions.

KARL: We've had the Iron Age,
the Stone Age.

This is the Pissing-About Age.

NARRATOR: And to see if the issues
are such a big deal, anyway.

In this episode, Karl explores
how to find happiness.

What've you done to your tongue?
Have you seen that? That's like Alien!

NARRATOR: Is it achieved
by releasing stress?

Can exercise make you happy?

People shouldn't be running
the distances they're doing.

It's barmy!

NARRATOR: Or should you just
give up everything?

I mean, we've got two courses.
We're homeless.

NARRATOR: This is The Meaning of Life.

KARL: It's like,
who's the mental one here?

Is it me or everyone else?

Happiness.

I think I'm happy.

It's funny, 'cause a lot of people go,

"Karl's not happy,
he's a right miserable bastard."

But I am really happy.

It's just that I don't choose
to sort of show it.

In a way, I don't see
why you should, I don't know why

it's important to walk around
with a big grin on.

I don't think smiling
makes other people smile.

If you're a little bit pissed off,
and someone's walking around

with a big smile on,
it can annoy you more.

'Cause you're going,
"Why are they so happy?

"Why aren't I that happy?"

So you're better off knocking about with
the right load of miserable bastards

and then you go, "God, my life's
not that bad, these lot are miserable."

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(WHISTLE BLOWING)

BEN: So where are we starting, Karl?
KARL: Going off to meet a tribe.

Called the Raramuri tribe.

And they get their happiness
from running.

Get a lot of joy out of that.

BEN: Did you never do cross country
as a kid?

No, they did it at school now and again.

It wasn't really cross country,
because we didn't have any country.

It was just sort of
running through town.

And no one took it serious.

My mam used to sort of say,

"Oh, if you're passing Sale Snips
can you get me some hair lacquer?"

and stuff like that. It was basically
shopping whilst running.

BEN: So what things did you do then?

Slapsies, remember that?

I remember that got my heart going.

'Cause you'd be going,
"This is gonna work."

You had dead-arm,
that was another game you played.

It was like ticky-it, really.

But instead of just tick
you'd batter someone in the arm.

And you had kids at school
with massive bruises and stuff.

So that was exercise, urn...
Arm-wrestling.

That was really popular.

Arm-wrestling, in the '80s.

MAN: Saoul.
KARL: Saoul.

KARL: Good. Karl.

- All right?
- Okay.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, let's do it.

One, two, three.

(GRUNTS)

Fuckin' hell! Jesus Christ!

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

(ALL CHEERING)

We'll get another one for you.

He's not going.

Get down, you shit!

Yes!

(ALL BOOING)

KARL: That isn't a bog-standard
11-year-old. I can tell you.

Definitely not.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

- Lorenzo? I'm Karl.
- Hola.

Are you well? Good?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

KARL: Outfit.

I'll pop this on and come and see you.

(LAUGHING)

Do you have to film this bit?
We could just...

You know, I'm stood here in my
underpants, everyone laughing at me,

what are you filming this for?

What are these made out of?

- WOMAN: Truck tyres.
- Tyres?

So is it right then that you used to
run to get happiness in your life?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

WOMAN: Yes, that's the attraction.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

WOMAN: This is a hand-crafted
wooden ball that they kick around.

KARL: I didn't realise it was...
This is like football.

BEN: Apparently there's a stick, Karl.

I can't keep up with these rules,
I thought it was just running.

WOMAN: If you win, you get the goat.

It's useless to me.
What use is that to me?

BEN: You know what's gonna happen to it,
if they win, don't you?

(GOAT BLEATING)

Oh, they're gonna kill it?

(SIGHS)

So I'm playing to save a goat's life.

KARL: These shoes are hurting me a bit,
you know.

WOMAN: I think they're starting.

BEN: Have they started?
KARL: Has it kicked off?

BEN: It's started, Karl!

KARL: Shit!

Fucking hell, they're fast.

KARL: There's two games going...
There's two balls!

Why is there two balls?

(BLEATING)

KARL: For fuck's sake!

They just shot off,
there's no starting pistol,

no one says, "Are you ready?"

You need to know the rules.
All right, these are really aching now.

These shoes are fucking killing me.

I've cut my toes,
I've got blisters now, weeping.

BEN: Do you wanna put on my boots?
Are we the same size feet?

What size are you?

BEN: You can have Lee's socks,
as well.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

BEN: He took your stick. (LAUGHS)

I don't know what's happening.

Was he part of the game,
or have I just been mugged?

I'm gonna win this. Right, I'm going.

See you at the winning line.

I'm winning this, I'm gonna leg it,
absolutely leg it.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

(BLEATING)

Starting to feel heavy.

I've done no preparation for this,
have I?

BEN: If you keep going as long
as they do, you don't have to run it.

I can do... Oh, don't be thinking
I'm giving up.

I'm tired, but I'll do it till the end.

- BEN: Really?
- Yes.

It's the running.
It's the race bit I don't like.

I'll do it at my own pace,
like I like to do everything in life.

And that's what you should do.

You only get one go at it, don't you?

And that's what makes me happy,
doing things at my own pace.

That's the way things should be done.
That's happiness.

I'm not arsed
about what position they're in

and where the ball is.

The ball went off there earlier.

They went down trying to save it.

What are they playing at?
What are they doing?

They're living in houses
that haven't got roofs on yet.

Why aren't they sorting that out instead
of wasting energy looping around there?

They've got wife and kids.

It's gonna piss it down in a bit,
'cause it keeps thundering.

And they' re getting pissed wet through.

"Where's Dad?
Why hasn't Dad put a roof on?"

"He's chasing the wooden ball, son!"

It's barmy!

Is he smiling?

I'm not getting to see the face,
I'm only seeing backs of heads.

Can't keep up with them.

- See, look how much they run. Here.
- BEN: What?

Have you ever worn out
a trainer like that?

People shouldn't be running
the distances they're doing.

It's not normal.

BEN: When are you gonna stop?

Why do you keep asking me that?
Do you want me to stop?

BEN: I just thought you'd give up.

Stop asking me when I'm stopping.

You wanna stop,
that's what this is about. You're tired!

God knows why they're running about
when they've got this here.

I'd just be happy sat there, me.

There's another shoe!

How many shoes do they get through
in a week?

Seen that? Like a little lava lamp.

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

WOMAN: You did a really good job.
They're finishing now.

He's wondering if you could do
one lap more to win.

- I win the goat.
-5£

What will they get
if I'm getting the goat?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

- WOMAN: Happiness.
- Happiness?

KARL: All right, then, yeah.
It's a deal.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

KARL: I suppose the lesson is...

If any sort of...

Raramuris sort of...

move to England,
and they knock on your door and say,

you know, "I'm doing a sponsored walk,
will you sponsor me?"

Don't be caught out.

You'll have to take a mortgage out.

(BLEATING)

KARL: Pretty chuffed
with the distance I did.

That's about it, I'm not gonna start
saying that I feel amazing and all that.

It was quite good I did that.

KARL: Didn't give up.

Come on, come on.

Jesus, it's as strong
as that 11-year-old kid.

KARL: I don't know really,
about the happiness side,

because they have to go for so lung,
don't they, to get it.

I can do something really quick
and simple at home,

just having that lemon muffin
from a café,

that is a little bit of happiness.

It's a bit of a walk down the road,

but I can be there and back
in about eight minutes.

They've got to be running for 12 hours.

Might bolt in a minute, this.

Hmm.

“Rt. I mean, it was nice
having the goat.

You know, that was a nice little moment.

But then that started sort of...
(MIMICS BLEATING)

Didn't it, outside?
I thought "You're having a laugh!"

Been walking about for hours to save
you, now you keep me up all night.

No wonder they got shut of it.

A goat with Tourette's.

(BLEATING)

(GOAT BLEATS)

Hector, have you ever got any joy
and happiness from pain?

HECTOR: From pain?

- Pain, it hurts, you know.
- Yeah.

I don't see any happiness right there.

KARL: What's the most painful pain
you've ever had?

- My kidney stones.
- I had kidney stones.

- I had kidney stones, man.
- Bad, innit?

Painful, I can't even walk.

- No, I know. You wanna cry.
- Yeah, I wanna cry.

KARL: What did they do?
Did you have an operation or did you...

- No, no, I just...
- Pissed them out.

I just pissed it out, yeah, that's it.

Imagine pissing out a stone.

It's like your knob
turns into a little whistle.

Just a little pea in it... (WHISTLES)

Agony.

See you later.

Just looking at ya, I'm seeing that
you've messed about with your head.

What have you done to your tongue?
Have you seen that? That's like Alien!

Why? What do you mean?

Oh, that's stupid!

Are you ill? They're like tumours!

Fuck me!

Does that hurt?

So why then?

I don't understand why you want that.

KARL: Is there no other hobby
you could do? Art, painting?

There are other things to do in life.

Are you?

Do you have to turn up in court
looking like that?

Do you know when you go to,
like, supermarkets

and you need a pound for the trolley,
never got one on you?

Put them in there.

'Cause your lobes do nothing, do they?
No use for a lobe.

Suspension?

What's suspension?

KARL: I don't wanna look at it.

Ah!

Has it gone in?

Oh, my God!

He didn't even flinch.

Oi, oi, oi! (EXHALES)

Look at him, look at his face.

He's getting on... Oh, my...

His feet, he's got a foot off.

(GASPS)

Karl, you can see this?

Look at that for a family photo.

Oh, look at that, in the knee.
Right in the knee.

(EXHALES)

Knee!

We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age.
This is the Pissing-About Age.

Let's get going. Can we just leave, Ben?
I've had enough of this.

'Cause once they've all had a few
drinks and that, there's a load of them.

There's only a few of us. I can imagine.

I'll be dangling up there...

by the bollocks.

Pulling that hair there,
next to your ear, that hurts, innit?

Pulling a long hair out of your nose,

I do that now and again,
when you find it.

That's a big build-up.

I hate having to do it,
but it's gotta be done.

You can feel it moving about and you
pull it and your eyes water.

When you have a Kit Kat
and a bit of foil is left on it

and you don't know it, it hits
the filling at the back of your head.

Banging your toe
on the corner of the bed,

they're all things that I do a lot
and I never go, "Oh, that was nice."

I don't like pain.

Crazy, innit?

So if he watches, like,
Jesus of Nazareth or something,

when Jesus is getting nailed
to a cross,

does he sort of go,
"Oh, lucky bastard"?

KARL: See, the problem with trying
to make other people happy is,

you don't know if that thing
that you're doing

that is meant to make 'em happy,

is gonna make 'em happy.
It might piss 'em off.

I always remember
when Suzanne made me a fish pie.

Actually made it,
it wasn't out of a box.

But it was horrible.

So there's an act that she did

that was meant to be a nice thing,
but it wasn't.

And I told her, I said, "Jesus,
that's horrible. It's rank, that."

BEN: Did you tell her it was rank?

KARL: Yes.

I think you've gotta make someone
aware that it really is horrible,

don't make that again.

You know, I really... That is
the worst thing you've ever made.

And she still talks about it now.
It was about 15 years ago, that.

BEN: How long had she spent
making the fish pie?

Doesn't matter.

None of that matters, Ben.

It doesn't matter if it took her
three days, it was shit.

If it took her half an hour,
it was still shit.

I didn't like it.

CLOWN: Hey!

Hey!

(HIP-HOP PLAYING)

You get happiness out of it?

KARL: And what is the dance?

Yeah, let's do it.

One, two, three.

Like that?

No. I've never even heard of Krumping.

I've had crumpets.

It's like a pancake.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight.

(ALL CHEERING)

Music's going, music's going.

You got your crumpet right there.
Get your crumpet.

Oh, oh, oh!

(ALL CHEERING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

-Yes!
-Okay, okay.

Cake. It's relaxing.

KARL: You were a part of that, were you?

(ALL CHEERING)

Let's get going then.

Get dancing. Oh,Jesus!

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

KARL: Aye, it's good.
I think there's something in it.

I wasn't doing it for everyone else,
I was just doing it for myself.

BEN: The whole thing about Tommy
is that he's helping people get happy.

Well, he's helping me, though.

He is helping me get happy.

And if other people like my moves, fine.

If they don't, there's not
much I can do about it.

That's what I said to him,
I said, you know,

as well as him making people happy,

I'm sure there's some people
who get pissed off.

I tell you, my dad used to work nights.

If Tommy turned up in the avenue,
he'd go apeshit.

He used to get annoyed
with the ice cream man.

That was only there
for about two minutes.

You're never gonna please everyone.

You see, why did Suzanne get annoyed
when she made that fish pie?

She had a go at it,
but I said I didn't like it,

suddenly she's pissed off.
She should have just enjoyed

having a go at making it.

And that's what I did today,
I sort of enjoyed

having a go at, you know,
being KP the Clown.

It's the first thing I've done on this
sort of journey of finding happiness

that I thought, "I get it."
Loads of people dance.

It's been around for years.

Tribes done it. Insects do it.

- BEN: Insects?
- Yes, insects have a dance.

If you watch these
nature programmes, you see them.

Spiders do it.

Some really good moves, 'cause they
got eight legs, haven't they?

So they're kind of doing like a moonwalk
with the other one sort of

doing a bit of sort of popping.

Honestly.

YouTube it, have a look at the footage,
it's amazing.

Proper, proper dancing.

If you think of people
who love themselves,

who take care of their body,

LA is definitely up there, innit?

Everyone's after that same weird look,

that Botox thing,
with no lines in their face.

They're not happy in their own skin,
are they?

BEN: Do you feel happy in your skin?

It's all I know.
I don't wanna say, "I hate this skin,

"I want someone else's,"
and you put it on and it's all baggy.

You look like Gordon Ramsay.

It's all flaps and folds...

The only thing that's got the right

to say they're not happy in their skin
is a pug, a pug dog.

That is the only thing that you go,
"What has gone on there?"

Justin.

Hey, Karl!

KARL: So what have you had done then?

I guess I've had 120 procedures,
right along there, right now.

So I've done cheeks, lips, chin,
pec implants,

bicep implants, tricep implants,
and the delts.

The end result has really made me
a happier person, a better person.

But you must have had
a starting point, whereas with me...

What could I do, really?
I mean look at that, for...

Can you do that? Can you do that?

I can't actually,
I'm trying to do it now.

They move a little, they lift, right?
But they don't wrinkle.

Isn't that what the face is for?

Expression is a form of language.

Oh, you don't have to
paralyse everything.

Why don't you come with me today?
I'm gonna go see Nurse Jamie.

I was gonna talk to her
about some of the procedures,

maybe do a little maintenance.

Yeah, I mean, I'm probably not going
to have anything,

'cause I don't know where to start.

- You have to do something.
- Honestly.

I heard that she does something called
"ball-ironing" or something like this.

So it's like a re-surfacing
of your scrotum.

There's a call for that?

If you're worrying about the wrinkles
on your bollocks,

I'd say your life's pretty good.

I mean, I haven't even got an iron,
do you know that?

I haven't got an iron
or ironing board at home.

Who's worrying about that?

Well, I mean, I guess you figure
people do anal bleaching...

Anal bleaching?

Never heard of it. Never heard of that.

My arse, I don't know what colour it is.
I don't know if it needs bleaching.

Do you know, if you had five photos
of anuses, I could not point mine out.

KARL: Well, I just wanna know
what you recommend.

I don't want to have that sort of look.

I mean, it's good.
I was saying to him...

- I think it looks good.
- Right.

But I don't want that.

You have, like, a little bit of redness
in your skin,

so I would maybe just
tone that down a little bit.

These I don't like, because I think
they make us look sad.

KARL: I don't even know what you're
seeing there, though.

I think you're a handsome guy,
I think you got the cake,

Let's just put some icing on it.

I think you'll be fine.

So there's no pain?

There's no pain, it actually feels good.

All right,
so here's the first little one.

This is a big step, you know,
'cause this morning I was kind of like,

"I don't need any of this,
I don't need it."

- I can see a difference already.
- That looks pretty good, I think.

- I think it does too.
- Have you changed the lighting in here?

- No.
- No, honestly, there's a kind of a glow.

A fresher glow.

You definitely need something more,
but I think it looks better for sure.

If you want to add some more,
do some more...

- Let's do some more.
- Fill your boots.

KARL: How old do you think I am?

Mmm, I don't know. How old are you?

- Go on.
- No, how old are you? You tell me.

-40.
-40?

- Yeah.
- I think you're a handsome guy.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Whoa! What's that? I can smell burning.

That is... That shouldn't be...

I'll let you look.

- Now can you tell?
- Yeah.

Can you fill that line there,
'cause that looks like the Nile

or something going across my head.

- Okay, I can do that.
- Yeah?

That wrinkly head
has always bothered me.

I've said to you before,
"It looks like an elephant's knee."

There was a fancy-dress party at school

and my mam said I should have gone
as a walnut.

Serious now, this. (EXHALES)

- Are they going in now?
- Yeah.

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

Oh, is that... What was that?

BEN: This is a whole new, like,
device going on now.

- Do you even know what you're getting?
- No.

But that's what Jamie's about, innit?

- JAMIE: This is the Bloodless Vampire.
- Bloodless Vampire?

(WHIRRING)

- BEN: Do you know how much you've spent?
- How much?

£2,500.
- Fuck off!

Seriously? Two and a half grand?

I love you, Karl, you're awesome.

Welcome to the dark side.

BEN'. Do you feel a little bit happier?

Yeah, I do, actually.

I do.

I look pretty good. I think it was
all about having Jamie saying,

"Oh, yeah, you're looking pretty hot!"

JAMIE: You've got nice eyes.

That's probably my best feature, that.

I haven't had that...
No one's said that to me for years.

So that's why I enjoy it.
I don't even know if I do.

But having, like, you know,
quite a sexy woman

saying, "You're looking hot."
She was all over me.

Honestly, I think that's what I enjoyed.

Is that bad?

I don't know, I don't look
any fucking different, honestly I don't.

At least not that much,

but I quite enjoyed having her
rubbing my face.

Let's get back in.

I'm gonna go and get my arse done.

At the moment I feel quite good
about stuff.

The weather's nice, my face
is looking better than it's ever done.

Soto go in here and get angry
doesn't feel real,

do you know what I mean?
I've got nothing to worry about.

I don't lash out. I like to moan.

Happens all the time at home,
but Suzanne just puts up with it.

I might be sat on the toilet
and I turn around and see that

she has bought a bottle of bleach
that's ecu-friendly.

And I go down and I moan to her.

I go, Like, "Eco-friendly bleach,
it don't do anything, it's weak.

"It's like mouthwash."

I left a stain, you moan at me
that I shouldn't leave stains,

I've left a stain.

And then she goes on
about saving the planet,

it's like, it's bollocks.
She's not saving any planet.

You've been ripped off.
"Oh, it's better for dolphins."

It doesn't matter,
we haven't got dolphins in London,

stop worming about dolphins. It's shit!

And then that's it, it's gone!
It's gone!

That's been that little release
and I've forgot about the bleach

30 seconds later. It doesn't matter.
I've moved on.

-(GRUNTING)
- MAN: Yeah!

MAN: Get it out! Get it out!
Yeah, tear it up!

You're almost there.

(WOMAN WHOOPS)

-(GRUNTING)
- MAN: Yeah!

Hi, Karl. How are you?

- Welcome to Anger World.
- Nice to see you.

-(STRAINING)
- MAN: Yeah!

So what's her problem?
What's wrong with her?

Looks like she has a problem
with printers and office equipment.

(STRAINING)

Seriously, is that what it is?
That's her problem?

She doesn't like office...

Yeah, she doesn't like office equipment.

KARL: Bit of an extreme
reaction, though.

It's normally just
a paper jam, isn't it?

WOMAN: Well, our goal here is to tear
it up since we can't use it any more.

So do you think she's really
getting rid of anger at the moment?

I really believe she is, because
a lot of people pent up their anger

and stress so they may
go home after work

and you think that they forgot about it
but they really didn't,

because it's in the back of their mind.

Do you have something
that you don't like?

- MAN: There you go!
- Um...

Not like that.

MAN: Let it out.

So what are you two here for?
What's been winding you up?

I would say just life in general,
right now.

And what would you do if you didn't have
this place to come and smash shit up?

How would you get rid of that?

You know,just bottle it up.

There's nothing you can do like this
to get it out, really.

Without getting in trouble, anyways.

Let's have a look.

- KARL: It's like a really shit raffle.
- Yeah.

Do you have raffles there?
You've kind of got a coffeemaker.

- Yeah, we just have a... Yeah.
- Wifi.

What else is there? I'm a big fan of
watching Bullseye with Jim Bowen.

That was like prizes.

They were all right.
They had a DVD player,

coffee machine,

satellite box.

"And here's what you could
have won! A car."

The problem I've got with
smashing it up,

it's a nice looking car, that.

WOMAN: Put the hammer straight through
the window. Just knock it out.

Just bust it through.

I really wish I was really annoyed
about something.

MAN: Oh, Karl, hit the bloody mirror.

- No, I could, I could just hit it.
- MAN: Yeah.

But I think you have to really get into

the zone for this to work.
There's no point just going apeshit.

Do you have people calling you
over here,

asking if you want your PPI back?

Right when you're eating dinner with
family is when they wanna call.

- Yeah.
- That's the car they drive.

WOMAN 1: Yes, that's their car.
WOMAN 2: They drive that car.

It's some sort of payment
protection plan.

WK.

Pro...

What is it? Uh...

- PP[. Stop calling me...
-MAN: Yeah!

-'Cause I don't want my PPI.
-(CRACKING)

- BEN: Payment protection insurance.
- Payment protection insurance.

Yeah, payment protection insurance.

That's what it is.

KARL: All right, got my mates here.

I think they want their PPI back.

Why don't you ask them?

Why don't you ask them if they
want their PPI back?

Eh?

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

KARL: It's not for me.

I didn't get happiness.

When I'm annoyed,

I have to release it at that point.

I can't sort of go,
"I won't get annoyed now,

"I'll save it till later
and I'll smash a gnome up

"when I'm at home in the garden."

It doesn't work like that.

I moan a lot, I do moan.

That's, you know, but that's my release.

And people listen to you
when you complain?

KARL: I don't think that's important.

I'm almost not bothered about them
hearing it as long as I can...

release it.

Have a moan.

Have a moan. It's good for you.

Release it at that moment.

Get it out.

It's like gas, innit? Fart. Let it out.

KARL: I'm meeting a bloke
called Daniel Suelo,

'cause he thinks that money
doesn't make you happy.

It just gives you,
you know, more stress.

It's a nice idea, but I don't think
it's possible.

BEN: And if you decided to do it,
would Suzanne join you?

(SCOFFS) Not a chance.

Not a chance.

She gets pissed off
if we stay in, like, a B&B

and there isn't a hair dryer
in the drawer.

That's roughin' it for her.

KARL: I'm just keen to see how
he does it and haw happy he is.

I can't imagine enjoying life

because I'd constantly be worried
about the next meal.

Ah, here he is.

Daniel?

- Hi.
- Hello.

Did we say 2:00 or 1:00?

Uh, Ben told me it was meant
to be 1:00.

- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought it was 2:00.
- All right. Not a problem.

DANIEL: There's some granola
and this is kind of a trail mix.

KARL: I only got into granola about...

About a year ago. Never had it before.

- Oh yeah? Hmm.
- Yeah.

So what is the plan?
What are we gonna do today?

We could go check out where I get food.

All the food I have, I find.

Or somebody gives it to me.

KARL: Where did you find granola?

It was a dumpster.

KARL: So...

Do you want to just explain to me
what you're playing at?

DANIEL: I gave up money 13 years ago
because I was tired of the rat race.

It was about finding balance
and living in the present,

which is about being content and happy.

- KARL: What is this, a pizza place?
- Yeah.

Seriously, have you put them there?

No, this is the way it is.

There's more in there too.

KARL: That is mad!

I don't understand, though,
Daniel, why they're in boxes

and they've got paper on them.
It seems too convenient...

I think what happens is when people,

they order pizzas
and then they're not home,

so they throw 'em out.

That happens all the time.

- KARL: Is that a pineapple one I saw?
- Yeah.

Can I have a piece of that?
- Yeah.

BEN: Are you sure, Karl?

KARL: I mean, that's even
my choice of pizza, that.

- Oh yeah? Really.
- Yeah.

It's not bad.

Does it have any pudding?

I can't believe how much is in there.

I thought you meant there'd be,
like, bits of food half eaten.

DANIEL: No, that's the way it is
all over the country.

Did you need sleeping gear?

KARL: Yeah, I was relying on you,
to be honest.

You know, there's a three-piece suite,
do you need one of them?

(DANIEL CHUCKLES)

KARL: So this is how you find
blankets, sleeping bags?

DANIEL: Clothes, yeah.

It's amazing, I find really good
clothes in here.

Oh, yeah. You need a sport coat?

I've not got one of them.

DANIEL: Oh, there's another.

That's wool.

It's not...
Hey, Dan, look at that for a fitting.

Yeah, yeah, looks great.
Wow, you look sharp!

I tell you what,
I mean, I was pretty cold.

- This is all right.
- It looks good on you.

KARL: Any money in the pockets?

DANIEL: And there's a whole turkey.

KARL: If you can find a pudding,
I'll be amazed.

KARL: How long have I been out?

- BEN: Probably less than an hour.
- Less than an hour?

I've got a new jacket
and three 12-inch pizzas.

That's pretty impressive!

Innit?

I just don't believe it.

I don't know why Bear Grylls
is on the telly

telling me how to stab
a camel in the head.

And what bits to eat. What's he doing?

Why isn't Bear Grylls just wandering
round the back of Tesco?

What's he found now?

I did find a Dutch apple pie.

- No, you haven't.
-(CHUCKLES)

- Yeah, I got a pie.
-(LAUGHS)

Let's have a little bit of the crust.

Ben, there's nothing wrong with that.
Have a bit of that.

Ben, have a bit of that.
There's nothing wrong with it.

DANIEL: Mmm.

I mean, we've got two courses.
We're homeless.

DANIEL: See, sometimes I find people
leave clothes like this.

Straight leg, waist 34, length 32.

They're a little wide,
but with a belt...

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it,
'cause that's my size.

Oh yeah? (CHUCKLES)

- KARL: I mean, that's never happened.
-(DANIEL CHUCKLES)

KARL: They're pretty tasty.
DANIEL: Yeah.

If you see a homeless person,

do you see yourself
in a different light than that?

Um, sometimes I look at them and think,
“Oh, there's a homeless person,"

and I have to remind myself, oh yeah,

I'm a homeless person.

KARL: Been an all right experience.

Living a day without
having to spend any money.

- What's that?
- This is a blanket.

I suppose there's a little
bit of me that is like Dan,

in a way, anyway. I used to do
a lot of that when I was a kid.

I used to go out round the back of
Achenbach's bakery.

Eat cakes. Fill my face.

DANIEL: Do you want a pillow?
KARL: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Got a blanket and a pillow.

Ready for home.

BEN: So what are you gonna
do tonight? You gonna stick it out?

Yeah.

I don't know though,
it seems quite like

a place bears would hang out, this.

What is it? Black bears are dangerous,
brown aren't?

It's one or the other.

I mean, as if anyway. Brown and black.

I mean, you couldn't get closer colours.

You're not just gonna sit there and go,
"Is it brown? Is it black?"

just fucking leg it.

KARL: Well, that rain's started
to come, hasn't it?

It's been threatening all day.

(THUNDER CRACKING)

God, this is mad!

It's not even a proper tent.

Surely though,

I've enjoyed today,

but when the weather's like this,

you must sort of lie in here
at night if it's raining,

and think, "What am I doing?"

I actually love it in here,
like, when it's raining.

I find it comforting.

Sleeping in the rain.

KARL: Do you?
DANIEL: Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, I don't know, I don't know now.

This has just swung it a bit for me.

Have you got any more of this stuff
that can go over the gaps?

- No...
- Come on.

(THUNDER CRASHING)

Not gonna work, is it?

KARL: Where are you sleeping?

BEN: The crew are going back
to that four star hotel.

KARL: I'm trying to work out
what I'm meant

to be getting out of this programme.

You know, this whole trip,

this journey, what's it all about?

It's about me

looking at happiness and what
makes different people happy.

I could do it.
I could easily sleep here.

We've been in worse places.

BEN: Hell of a lot worse, yeah.

KARL: In fact, if you look
at most of it, it's all about

comfort for me, isn't it?

The shoes, the running shoes,

that the Raramuris gave me.
They weren't comfy.

KARL: Look, my trainers are wet.

Pain party, definitely not comfort.

DANIEL: They'll dry out.

KARL: And now you know,
staying in a tent.

And I think that's what makes me happy,

at the end of the day, simple as that.

Bit of comfort.

Look, I'm just as comfortable
as Bill Gates.

No, you're not. Honestly.

I hate that thing, when people say,

"Oh, you know, he's got loads of money,
money doesn't make you happy."

Honestly, I bet he's
happier than us now.

- I bet you he is.
- No.

KARL: So tonight,
I will go back to the hotel

and I'll really be over
the moon with it.

In fact, I probably won't go to sleep
straight away, I'm gonna lie in it,

thinking how good it is.
I'm not gonna take it for granted.

I might even order room service.

(STUTTERS) I've given in.

Oh, yeah? (CHUCKLES)

just sit in it.
Ah! (CHUCKLES)

It's just making me happy
thinking about it.

Big comfy pillows and that. (LAUGHS)

How good is that? Oh!

See that? That means it's right,
doesn't it? I can't wait.

(CHUCKLES) Honestly.

I can't wait.

Are you sure that you don't want me
to get you a room there for a night?

Just think about it. Nice comfy bed.
Honestly, you haven't seen it.

Really soft linen sheets.

(LAUGHS) No, actually,
I'm happy with this.

Well, if by some chance you're in
the hotel room and you're like,

"I want to go camp,"

-you're welcome here. (LAUGHS)
- Yeah.

- All right, well, don't wait up.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

Cheers, Dan. All right, nice to see you.

Back to the hotel.

Have a good shit,
all that granola I've had.

(DOOR BEEPS)

BEN: Karl?

-Are you happy?
-I'm well happy.

See you later.

(BRING ME SUNSHINE PLAYING)

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