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Dwight: Here's pretty much
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everything you need to know.
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- Fly away with me.
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- Anywhere.
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Dwight: Whatever happened
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with you and Agnet?
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- She was eaten
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by a rampaging giant.
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A deal.
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- Not a soul
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to be seen within.
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Dwight: And there it is.
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Health code violation.
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- For one case
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of the plague?
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[stuttering]
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Who is this hysterical
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health inspector?
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Hm?
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Chlodwig: What ho, Barkeep?
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- The tavern is closed.
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And Hellibad is fled.
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Chlodwig: Fled?
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- From the health inspector?
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- From the IRS.
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- Oh.
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Chlodwig: What the devil
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is that?
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- The guys who make sure
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you pay your taxes.
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Chlodwig: No, not the IRF.
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That!
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Oh no!
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It's her!
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Barkeep: Who?
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[horn honking]
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- Agnet.
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Agnet: Sweet heaven!
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Dwight: Agnet.
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What happened?
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- Where's my true love?!
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Dwight: Uh.
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Chlodwig: For the last time,
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Agnet.
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I will never marry you.
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- Ugh, not you, Chlodwig.
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Where is my sweet Jacopo?
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'Twas my good fortune
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that the giant was old
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and all but toothless.
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[chuckles]
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I suffered
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an unpleasant gumming.
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Dwight: Ew.
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So there is a super old giant
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out here,
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chomping on people
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with his toothless old gums?
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Agnet: I managed to leap
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from his jaws for my life,
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oh and now I wish
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only to find my prince.
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Chlodwig: Prince, hm.
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Dwight: Well, the last time
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we saw Jacopo,
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he was running off
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trying to find a cave
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to hide out in
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from the Tovenaars.
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Well, the only caves out here
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are right up this way.
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[whirling]
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[thuds]
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- Ah!
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Ah!
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Ah!
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Jacopo: Who goes there?
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Chlodwig: 'Tis I,
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Prince Chlodwig the Unstable.
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Gretta: And I,
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Princess Gretta the Besieged.
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- And Dwight.
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Jacopo: How shall I know that
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you are truly the Principessa,
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the Piggy Prince
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and the Champion Monkey Boy?
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Gretta/Dwight/Chlodwig: Jacopo?
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Agnet: Jacopo?
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My Jacopo?
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- Cara mia?
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- Jacopo!
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- Yah!
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[romantic music]
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Agnet: [squeals]
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[thoink]
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Jacopo: Oh my lost love.
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Agnet: My darling.
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Jacopo: Quickly to the cave
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before the undead
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skeleton demon finds us.
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Gretta: Never fear, Jacopo.
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The Tovenaars are no more.
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Chlodwig: Sir Dwight
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vanquished them.
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- Oh.
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- Oh, who cares,
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now that I have finally found
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my handsome prince
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we may move on
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to the wedding plans.
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- Ah si, bella.
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Agnet: [giggles]
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♪
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Dwight: Okay, so about
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a thousand years ago
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there was this princess, Gretta,
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and she was in big trouble
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'cause she had lots of enemies
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and not a lot of friends.
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♪
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So, her court magician, Baldric
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cast the champion spell.
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It put everyone in the woods
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to sleep
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until a champion would come
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break the spell with his kiss
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and deal with Gretta's
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big scary enemies.
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But that guy never showed up.
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Instead,
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Ahhh!
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[kiss]
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they got me.
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Ahh!
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♪
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Ow!
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♪
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♪
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Agnet: Play the fanfare
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Prince Chlodwig!
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[fanfare plays loudly]
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Agnet: [squeals]
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Read the scroll.
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- Hear ye, one and all.
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The joyous pronouncement
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of the wedding
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betwixt Agnet of the Troll Tower
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and her chosen betrothed,
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Jacopo the Troubador.
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The blessed ceremony
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will take place
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at noon day tomorrow.
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Jacopo: Tomorrow?
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Dwight: Tomorrow?
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Agnet: The invitation.
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Chlodwig: You are all invited
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to the happy occasion.
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- The gifts.
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- Bring a gift.
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Agnet: Now play the trumpet,
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you oaf!
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- [plays two notes]
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- It's official my love,
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we are engaged to be married!
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Jacopo: Ah yes, my dream,
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but uh, tomorrow?
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- Isn't that only
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a day away?
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- A long engagement
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leads to nothing but misfortune.
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Jacopo: Si, but tomorrow?
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- It gives the evil spirits
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more time
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to curse the beautiful bride.
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Gretta: She does have a point.
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Agnet: Speaking of, Gretta.
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[slap]
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Agnet: Gretta,
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will you be my bridesmaid?
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- I suppose someone must.
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- [squeal]
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So Sir Dwight, you must be
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Jacopo's groomsman.
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- Wow, oh, okay, sure,
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but I still think one day
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is rushing things.
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- Si.
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Is much too much of a rush.
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- There is no such thing
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as rushing into a marriage.
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Okay, should we get changed?
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- Changed?
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- Between the engagement
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and the wedding--
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Agnet: [screams]
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Don't say that.
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- Wedding?
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- [screams]
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It is bad luck to say that word
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during an engagement.
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Instead one should say
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day of joys,
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or blissful occasion
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or an answer
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to a maiden's prayer.
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[chuckle]
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- Between the engagement
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and the
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[stuttering] the day of joys,
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the bridesmaid wears
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the bride's clothes
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and the bride wears
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the bridesmaid's clothes.
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- Oh.
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Why?
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Gretta: To confuse
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the evil spirits
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who are bent on cursing
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the bride and her
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[stuttering] marriage.
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Agnet: And the groom will wear
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the groomsman's clothes
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and the groomsman will wear
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the groom's clothes.
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- So that I get cursed
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instead of this guy?
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- Esattamente.
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Dwight: Ah.
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[coughing]
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Agnet: [squeal]
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- You okay?
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Gretta: To ensure good fortune,
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the groom must carry the bride
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over every threshold.
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- Oh, that sounds...
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exhausting.
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Gretta: Just from the day
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of the engagement
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to the day of their wedding.
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Agnet: [screams]
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- Ugh.
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Day of joys.
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Dwight: Is nobody else concerned
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that we are hosting a wedding--
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Agnet: [screams]
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Dwight: --a husband and wife
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creating ceremony tomorrow,
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and we don't even have a venue?
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Chlodwig: I know of
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an inescapable pit.
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Dwight: Come on, Gretta.
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You're the bridesmaid
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and I'm the...
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I'm the groomsman,
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so we have to pull
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this thing together.
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Gretta: I have it!
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Dwight: This place has...
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a lot of character, right?
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Jacopo/Agnet: [grunting]
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Agnet: You can set me down,
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my darling.
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No, no, no!
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Not here.
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Um, over there is fine.
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Yes, thank you.
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[grunt]
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Dwight: So, I worked a miracle
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with the landlord
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and we're good
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as long as nobody crosses
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the quarantine tape
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to the kitchen.
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Agnet: [gasps]
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Elves!
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It's good luck to have elves
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at a wedding.
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[screams]
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Blissful occasion.
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Nathan: Hi there.
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You must be the bride and groom.
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Congratulations.
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We are Edenberry and the Elves.
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[soft off key strum]
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Dwight: They play Ren fairs
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and LARPing events.
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Nathan: And medieval-themed
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weddings.
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Agnet: [screams]
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Nathan: Okay...
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Dwight: Try not to say wedding.
292
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:51,784
Agnet: [screams]
293
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,283
Dwight: [yelp]
294
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,750
Lucky for us,
295
00:07:53,351 --> 00:07:55,750
they're available tomorrow.
296
00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:56,417
Nathan: Mm-hm.
297
00:07:56,483 --> 00:07:58,550
Agnet: That is lucky indeed.
298
00:07:58,617 --> 00:07:59,583
Dwight: Okay.
299
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:01,550
Guys, we just have to settle
300
00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:01,550
on a catering menu
301
00:08:01,617 --> 00:08:02,583
and the bouquets.
302
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,417
Also, we have all the dresses
303
00:08:02,651 --> 00:08:05,417
in your size
304
00:08:05,483 --> 00:08:07,450
available to rent
305
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,450
from the bridal shop.
306
00:08:07,517 --> 00:08:10,116
Agnet: I will leave
307
00:08:07,518 --> 00:08:10,116
the trivial decisions to you.
308
00:08:10,183 --> 00:08:13,316
I'm far too busy choosing
309
00:08:10,184 --> 00:08:13,316
a suitable cheese wheel.
310
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:14,483
Gretta: [whispering] Ah.
311
00:08:14,550 --> 00:08:15,450
- Translation?
312
00:08:15,517 --> 00:08:17,350
Gretta: The bridesmaid
313
00:08:15,518 --> 00:08:17,350
rolls a cheese wheel
314
00:08:17,417 --> 00:08:21,350
down the aisle before the bride
315
00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:21,350
for good luck.
316
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:21,984
- Fine.
317
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:22,617
It's your wedding.
318
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:23,116
Agnet: [screams]
319
00:08:23,183 --> 00:08:24,750
- Mmh, sorry.
320
00:08:24,817 --> 00:08:28,917
♪
321
00:08:28,984 --> 00:08:29,850
Agnet: Oh-ho-ho!
322
00:08:29,917 --> 00:08:31,517
I love this song.
323
00:08:31,583 --> 00:08:33,250
Dance with me, my Prince.
324
00:08:33,316 --> 00:08:38,183
♪
325
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:39,850
So tell me, my Prince.
326
00:08:39,917 --> 00:08:43,450
After we are married, what next?
327
00:08:43,517 --> 00:08:45,183
- Never fear, dolcezza.
328
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,050
I am a man of ambition.
329
00:08:47,116 --> 00:08:48,150
[clap, clap, clap]
330
00:08:48,216 --> 00:08:50,950
I have a little money set aside
331
00:08:48,217 --> 00:08:50,950
for the right
332
00:08:51,016 --> 00:08:51,917
[clap, clap, clap]
333
00:08:51,984 --> 00:08:53,483
business venture.
334
00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,517
Agnet: Oh, no, no, no,
335
00:08:53,551 --> 00:08:55,517
my darling.
336
00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:58,550
I was hoping to have a future
337
00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:58,550
with no cares,
338
00:08:58,617 --> 00:09:00,717
only focusing on each other.
339
00:09:00,784 --> 00:09:01,216
Jacopo: Oh.
340
00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:01,850
[clap, clap, clap]
341
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,517
How nice that will be.
342
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:05,817
[clap, clap, clap]
343
00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:08,216
- The Troll Tower
344
00:09:05,885 --> 00:09:08,216
where I grew up
345
00:09:08,283 --> 00:09:10,116
is standing vacant.
346
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,684
- Troll... Tower?
347
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,183
Agnet: Deep in the most
348
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,183
uncharted woods
349
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,517
where never a soul ventures.
350
00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:17,517
[clap, clap, clap]
351
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,950
- Never?
352
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,083
Not a soul?
353
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:20,617
Agnet: No.
354
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:21,717
[clap, clap, clap]
355
00:09:21,784 --> 00:09:24,617
Oh, I have thousands of ideas
356
00:09:21,785 --> 00:09:24,617
on how to fix it up.
357
00:09:24,684 --> 00:09:26,684
We can make it into
358
00:09:24,685 --> 00:09:26,684
our little love nest.
359
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:29,917
Just you, me,
360
00:09:26,751 --> 00:09:29,917
and a flock of children.
361
00:09:29,984 --> 00:09:30,750
[clap, clap, clap]
362
00:09:30,817 --> 00:09:32,517
- Flock?
363
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:34,684
[clap]
364
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,450
Agnet: Oh.
365
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:37,550
- Thank you.
366
00:09:37,617 --> 00:09:41,550
Forgive me but a moment, my...
367
00:09:41,617 --> 00:09:43,617
[stuttering] adored one.
368
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:47,817
Agnet: [giggle]
369
00:09:47,884 --> 00:09:50,483
Nathan: So, how did
370
00:09:47,885 --> 00:09:50,483
you two meet?
371
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:55,316
- He rescued me from
372
00:09:50,551 --> 00:09:55,316
getting roasted by the orcs.
373
00:09:55,383 --> 00:09:56,183
- Wow.
374
00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:57,417
Agnet: And after tomorrow,
375
00:09:57,483 --> 00:10:00,183
we shall run away
376
00:09:57,484 --> 00:10:00,183
to my Troll Tower in the woods
377
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:04,216
and never, ever, ever return.
378
00:10:04,283 --> 00:10:05,083
[sigh]
379
00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:07,016
- That sounds amazing.
380
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,050
- Well, we have each other.
381
00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:10,684
What more do we need?
382
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:12,717
Dwight: Okay, people.
383
00:10:12,784 --> 00:10:15,116
Since we are actually
384
00:10:12,785 --> 00:10:15,116
going through with this thing,
385
00:10:15,183 --> 00:10:16,817
I have a florist delivering
386
00:10:15,184 --> 00:10:16,817
the bouquets
387
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,483
and the centerpieces
388
00:10:16,885 --> 00:10:18,483
tomorrow morning.
389
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:19,183
Gretta: And,
390
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,517
Popeyes [popeez] fried chicken
391
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,417
will provide the chicken strips.
392
00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:25,183
- 'Tis the cheese wheel
393
00:10:22,484 --> 00:10:25,183
we must find.
394
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,917
Gretta, come, come.
395
00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:27,984
We must.
396
00:10:28,050 --> 00:10:29,483
As my bridesmaid,
397
00:10:28,051 --> 00:10:29,483
you must come.
398
00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:30,684
You must.
399
00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:38,316
Jacopo: [crying]
400
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:40,483
- Jacopo?
401
00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:42,116
You okay, man?
402
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,617
Jacopo: Certamente.
403
00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:47,617
I am bound by the rules
404
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:47,617
of chivalry.
405
00:10:47,684 --> 00:10:50,116
Yeah.
406
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:54,717
[muttering]
407
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:58,083
♪
408
00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:01,150
Male singer: ♪ You're singin'
409
00:10:58,151 --> 00:11:01,150
our song, yeah. ♪
410
00:11:01,216 --> 00:11:04,016
♪ La la la laaa. ♪
411
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:08,950
♪ Your voice always carries
412
00:11:04,084 --> 00:11:08,950
to me. ♪
413
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:15,116
♪ So I'll listen
414
00:11:09,017 --> 00:11:15,116
as the days go by. ♪
415
00:11:15,183 --> 00:11:21,183
♪ I'll listen
416
00:11:15,184 --> 00:11:21,183
as the days go by. ♪
417
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:26,917
♪ I'll listen
418
00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:26,917
as the years go by. ♪
419
00:11:26,984 --> 00:11:29,483
♪ I'll listen as the years... ♪
420
00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:30,183
Dwight: Thank you.
421
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:33,483
Male singer: ♪ ...go by. ♪
422
00:11:33,550 --> 00:11:43,517
♪
423
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:45,617
Dwight: [sighs]
424
00:11:45,684 --> 00:11:47,617
Gretta: [grunts]
425
00:11:47,684 --> 00:11:52,917
[thumping]
426
00:11:52,984 --> 00:11:54,450
- Hey there, Jacopo.
427
00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:56,350
How you feelin'?
428
00:11:56,417 --> 00:12:00,617
- Like a condemned man
429
00:11:56,418 --> 00:12:00,617
at the gallows.
430
00:12:00,684 --> 00:12:02,650
- Uhhh...
431
00:12:02,717 --> 00:12:07,884
Well, weddings put a lot
432
00:12:02,718 --> 00:12:07,884
of strain on relationships.
433
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:09,784
But after today
434
00:12:07,951 --> 00:12:09,784
it'll just be you and--
435
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:11,116
- The crazy woman.
436
00:12:11,183 --> 00:12:12,450
- Oh.
437
00:12:12,517 --> 00:12:21,016
Jacopo: I'm trapped like a rat
438
00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:21,016
in the rat trap.
439
00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:22,717
But the rules of chivalry.
440
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,150
I cannot break an engagement.
441
00:12:25,216 --> 00:12:31,383
Dwight: Dude, it's not too late
442
00:12:25,217 --> 00:12:31,383
to put the brakes on.
443
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,750
- No.
444
00:12:33,817 --> 00:12:43,617
I am a man of my honor.
445
00:12:43,684 --> 00:12:45,150
Gretta: [indistinct whispering]
446
00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:47,016
♪
447
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:50,050
Baldric: Step forward,
448
00:12:47,084 --> 00:12:50,050
bridegroom.
449
00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:55,550
♪
450
00:12:55,617 --> 00:13:00,483
[shoes thudding]
451
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:01,550
Dwight: What are you doing?!
452
00:13:01,617 --> 00:13:04,283
- Throwing a shoe
453
00:13:01,618 --> 00:13:04,283
at the groom for good luck.
454
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:08,784
Gretta: Time to roll the cheese.
455
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:12,717
[grunts]
456
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:17,350
♪
457
00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:24,116
[panting]
458
00:13:24,183 --> 00:13:28,417
- Step forward, bride.
459
00:13:28,483 --> 00:13:31,750
Female singers: ♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
460
00:13:31,817 --> 00:13:35,750
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
461
00:13:31,818 --> 00:13:35,750
sha-la-la-la-la ♪
462
00:13:35,817 --> 00:13:39,116
♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
463
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:43,450
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
464
00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:43,450
sha-la-la-la-la ♪
465
00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:48,250
♪ Oooooh. ♪
466
00:13:48,316 --> 00:13:51,383
Baldric: We gather
467
00:13:48,317 --> 00:13:51,383
on this day of joys
468
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:55,817
to marry this man...
469
00:13:55,884 --> 00:13:59,316
and this woman.
470
00:13:59,383 --> 00:14:02,116
If anyone here objects
471
00:13:59,384 --> 00:14:02,116
to this marriage,
472
00:14:02,183 --> 00:14:04,517
let them speak now.
473
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:11,350
♪
474
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,717
Dwight: Sorry,
475
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,717
I gotta say something.
476
00:14:12,784 --> 00:14:13,450
Audience/Agnet: [gasp]
477
00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:14,016
Baldric: What?
478
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:14,817
No.
479
00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:16,050
Gretta: What are you doing?
480
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:17,417
Chlodwig: Sit down this instant.
481
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:18,283
Dwight: I just think
482
00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:18,283
this whole thing
483
00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:20,817
was maybe a little bit rushed.
484
00:14:20,884 --> 00:14:21,917
Baldric: Oh.
485
00:14:21,984 --> 00:14:22,817
Dwight: You'd known each other
486
00:14:21,985 --> 00:14:22,817
for less than a day
487
00:14:22,884 --> 00:14:24,517
when the giant gummed you,
488
00:14:22,885 --> 00:14:24,517
right?
489
00:14:24,583 --> 00:14:26,283
And then you'd only been
490
00:14:24,584 --> 00:14:26,283
back together a few hours
491
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,316
when you got engaged.
492
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:28,583
And that was yesterday.
493
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:31,250
I mean, what is the big hurry?
494
00:14:31,316 --> 00:14:34,216
Agnet: Sir Dwight,
495
00:14:31,317 --> 00:14:34,216
I am terribly flattered.
496
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:36,050
You know I've always
497
00:14:34,284 --> 00:14:36,050
been fond of you.
498
00:14:36,116 --> 00:14:38,050
But I am sworn to Jacopo.
499
00:14:38,116 --> 00:14:39,316
Jacopo: [deranged laughing]
500
00:14:39,383 --> 00:14:42,350
No more, signorina.
501
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:47,617
I am a gentleman
502
00:14:42,418 --> 00:14:47,617
in that I step aside.
503
00:14:47,684 --> 00:14:51,483
You are free, bella.
504
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:55,517
[continues deranged laughing]
505
00:14:55,583 --> 00:14:57,216
I wish you all the joy!
506
00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:59,083
[laughing]
507
00:14:59,150 --> 00:14:59,517
Oh!
508
00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:00,617
Here I come!
509
00:15:00,684 --> 00:15:04,250
Ohh, this day is mine!
510
00:15:04,316 --> 00:15:06,417
- Huh?
511
00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:07,150
Wha--
512
00:15:07,216 --> 00:15:07,784
I-I--
513
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,784
He's still got my clothes.
514
00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:11,517
Gretta: What have you done?
515
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,483
- I couldn't let the guy
516
00:15:11,584 --> 00:15:13,483
marry a girl he doesn't love.
517
00:15:13,550 --> 00:15:17,216
Chlodwig: And you would rather
518
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:17,216
marry the girl yourself?
519
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,283
- What?
520
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,750
Gretta: If a man objects
521
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,750
to the wedding,
522
00:15:19,817 --> 00:15:22,283
he must take the place
523
00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:22,283
of the groom
524
00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:25,316
if the groom has stepped aside.
525
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,817
- No way.
526
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:35,350
Chlodwig: Or face
527
00:15:26,885 --> 00:15:35,350
the consequences.
528
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,050
- [scared groan]
529
00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:41,016
♪
530
00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:44,917
Baldric: Step forward,
531
00:15:41,084 --> 00:15:44,917
bridegroom.
532
00:15:44,984 --> 00:15:53,517
♪
533
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:54,884
Dwight: I...
534
00:15:54,950 --> 00:16:01,350
♪
535
00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:02,784
It turns out this is--
536
00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:03,316
[shoes thudding]
537
00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:05,050
Oh, ow, ow, ouch!
538
00:16:05,116 --> 00:16:07,784
--a big misunderstanding.
539
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:10,316
Oh!
540
00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:11,250
Baldric: Okay, just breathe.
541
00:16:11,316 --> 00:16:13,183
Breathe, breathe.
542
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:23,216
♪
543
00:16:27,383 --> 00:16:33,050
Step forward, bride.
544
00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:36,083
Female singers: ♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
545
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:40,350
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
546
00:16:36,151 --> 00:16:40,350
sha-la-la-la-la ♪
547
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,717
♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
548
00:16:43,784 --> 00:16:46,750
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
549
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,750
sha-la-la-la-la. ♪
550
00:16:46,817 --> 00:16:48,250
Gretta: We must do something.
551
00:16:48,316 --> 00:16:52,050
Female singers: ♪ Oooooh. ♪
552
00:16:52,116 --> 00:16:53,250
Chlodwig: I have it!
553
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,417
I'll set fire
554
00:16:53,317 --> 00:16:55,417
to the window dressings.
555
00:16:55,483 --> 00:16:58,350
In the commotion we shall escape
556
00:16:55,484 --> 00:16:58,350
through the quarantined kitchen
557
00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,884
and start a new life
558
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,884
in a far away land.
559
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:02,316
Gretta: Ugh.
560
00:17:02,383 --> 00:17:06,950
Baldric: We are gathered
561
00:17:02,384 --> 00:17:06,950
on this day of joys...
562
00:17:07,016 --> 00:17:11,850
to marry this thunder-headed
563
00:17:07,017 --> 00:17:11,850
poop-noddy
564
00:17:11,917 --> 00:17:16,750
and this fluffy-headed dingbat.
565
00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:20,450
If anyone here present
566
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:20,450
objects to this marriage,
567
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:23,083
let them speak now.
568
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,684
[tense music]
569
00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:26,917
- Listen, Agnet.
570
00:17:26,984 --> 00:17:28,083
This is what happened.
571
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:28,650
I--
572
00:17:28,717 --> 00:17:29,684
Chlodwig: I object!
573
00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,917
Dwight: [gasping]
574
00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:34,150
- Chlodwig!
575
00:17:34,216 --> 00:17:36,917
Chlodwig: I cannot stand by
576
00:17:34,217 --> 00:17:36,917
and watch my guy club brother
577
00:17:36,984 --> 00:17:39,417
set a torch to his life.
578
00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:41,183
- Oh, Chlodwig.
579
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,383
I didn't think
580
00:17:41,251 --> 00:17:43,383
you still had feelings.
581
00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:44,350
[chuckle]
582
00:17:44,417 --> 00:17:46,750
But I've already given my heart
583
00:17:44,418 --> 00:17:46,750
to Sir Dwight.
584
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:48,483
Baldric: All of two minutes ago.
585
00:17:48,550 --> 00:17:50,316
Agnet: Oh, but I would hate
586
00:17:48,551 --> 00:17:50,316
to disappoint him.
587
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:51,517
Dwight: No, no, no, we're cool.
588
00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:52,116
I'm over it.
589
00:17:52,183 --> 00:17:53,116
I'm, we're good.
590
00:17:53,183 --> 00:17:55,784
- [squealing]
591
00:17:55,850 --> 00:17:58,417
Baldric: He he he!
592
00:17:58,483 --> 00:18:03,850
- I seriously owe you, man.
593
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,917
♪
594
00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:09,950
Baldric: Step forward,
595
00:18:06,985 --> 00:18:09,950
bridegroom.
596
00:18:10,016 --> 00:18:19,984
♪
597
00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:22,583
Gretta: We must save Chlodwig.
598
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,550
Dwight: How?
599
00:18:23,617 --> 00:18:25,684
The guy with the axe
600
00:18:23,618 --> 00:18:25,684
is still standing there.
601
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,684
Gretta: We shall set
602
00:18:25,751 --> 00:18:27,684
the window dressings on fire
603
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:28,950
and during the ensuing panic
604
00:18:29,016 --> 00:18:30,717
we shall flee
605
00:18:29,017 --> 00:18:30,717
through the quarantined kitchen
606
00:18:30,784 --> 00:18:35,283
and start a new life
607
00:18:30,785 --> 00:18:35,283
for ourselves in a distant land.
608
00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:38,350
Ugh, I must roll
609
00:18:35,351 --> 00:18:38,350
the cheese again.
610
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:41,350
Baldric: You have the valor
611
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,350
of a thousand men,
612
00:18:41,417 --> 00:18:43,216
Prince Chlodwig.
613
00:18:43,283 --> 00:18:45,884
I salute you.
614
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:49,083
♪
615
00:18:49,150 --> 00:18:50,650
Here comes the cheese.
616
00:18:50,717 --> 00:19:00,750
♪
617
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,550
Step forward, bride.
618
00:19:05,617 --> 00:19:09,116
Female singers: ♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
619
00:19:09,183 --> 00:19:13,350
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
620
00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:13,350
sha-la-la-la-la. ♪
621
00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:17,016
♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
622
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:19,517
Agnet: Chlodwig, my prince.
623
00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:22,150
How long I have dreamed
624
00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:22,150
of this moment.
625
00:19:22,216 --> 00:19:24,850
Baldric: We... are gathered
626
00:19:22,217 --> 00:19:24,850
here today
627
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:29,016
to witness an act of nobility
628
00:19:24,918 --> 00:19:29,016
and self sacrifice
629
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:33,750
the likes of which have never
630
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:33,750
been seen before in this realm.
631
00:19:33,817 --> 00:19:42,316
To marry this saintly man
632
00:19:33,818 --> 00:19:42,316
to this batty woman.
633
00:19:42,383 --> 00:19:46,750
If anyone here present
634
00:19:42,384 --> 00:19:46,750
objects to this marriage,
635
00:19:46,817 --> 00:19:50,216
let them speak.
636
00:19:50,283 --> 00:19:51,250
Dwight: Stop it Gretta!
637
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:54,016
No, you're not burning
638
00:19:51,317 --> 00:19:54,016
the building down.
639
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:54,817
Nathan: I object.
640
00:19:54,884 --> 00:19:55,850
Audience: [gasps]
641
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:56,817
Chlodwig: Ohh.
642
00:19:56,884 --> 00:19:57,850
[thump]
643
00:19:57,917 --> 00:19:58,817
Baldric: Chlodwig?
644
00:19:58,884 --> 00:20:01,884
- Edenberry Elf?
645
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:02,884
Baldric: Who?
646
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,684
Nathan: Look, I know
647
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,684
this is crazy
648
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:05,817
'cause we've only known
649
00:20:04,751 --> 00:20:05,817
each other
650
00:20:05,884 --> 00:20:07,450
for like a day,
651
00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:13,450
but you are the most amazing,
652
00:20:07,518 --> 00:20:13,450
authentic, and alive person
653
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:15,050
I have ever known.
654
00:20:15,116 --> 00:20:17,717
And I feel like I understand you
655
00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:17,717
better than anyone
656
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,950
because you, you don't want
657
00:20:17,785 --> 00:20:20,950
real life.
658
00:20:21,016 --> 00:20:23,784
Real life is just
659
00:20:21,017 --> 00:20:23,784
a day after day horror show
660
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:26,250
of alarm clocks and cubicles
661
00:20:23,851 --> 00:20:26,250
and emails
662
00:20:26,316 --> 00:20:28,250
and conference calls
663
00:20:26,317 --> 00:20:28,250
and half-hour lunches
664
00:20:28,316 --> 00:20:30,083
and twelve dollars
665
00:20:28,317 --> 00:20:30,083
for a bad sandwich
666
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:31,083
and mandatory overtime
667
00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:32,216
and then you do it again
668
00:20:31,151 --> 00:20:32,216
tomorrow
669
00:20:32,283 --> 00:20:33,650
and the next day
670
00:20:32,284 --> 00:20:33,650
and the next day
671
00:20:33,717 --> 00:20:34,483
until you're old
672
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:35,216
and you have nothing
673
00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:35,216
to show for it
674
00:20:35,283 --> 00:20:36,183
but a bunch of pay stubs
675
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:39,450
that add up to just like
676
00:20:36,251 --> 00:20:39,450
a very small number.
677
00:20:39,517 --> 00:20:42,750
But you don't want that.
678
00:20:42,817 --> 00:20:45,617
And neither do I.
679
00:20:45,684 --> 00:20:48,216
- Twelve dollar sandwiches?
680
00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:52,650
- Let us flee from it all,
681
00:20:48,284 --> 00:20:52,650
my queen.
682
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:55,750
Disappear into the great
683
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:55,750
wilderness of the world,
684
00:20:55,817 --> 00:21:03,183
never to return.
685
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:07,183
- Step forward, bridegroom.
686
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:10,617
Female singers: ♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
687
00:21:10,684 --> 00:21:14,950
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
688
00:21:10,685 --> 00:21:14,950
sha-la-la-la-la ♪
689
00:21:15,016 --> 00:21:16,617
- Oh.
690
00:21:16,684 --> 00:21:17,583
Uh-- Let's go.
691
00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:18,517
Female singers: ♪ ...ooh ♪
692
00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:22,984
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la,
693
00:21:18,584 --> 00:21:22,984
sha-la-la-la-la. ♪
694
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:25,283
- And the cheese.
695
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:34,684
♪
696
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:36,917
Step forward, bride.
697
00:21:36,984 --> 00:21:38,517
Female singers:
698
00:21:36,985 --> 00:21:38,517
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la, ♪
699
00:21:38,583 --> 00:21:41,016
♪ sha-la-la-la-la ♪
700
00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:44,717
♪ Oooooh, ooh ♪
701
00:21:44,784 --> 00:21:45,617
- Mm-kay.
702
00:21:45,684 --> 00:21:46,316
[clears throat]
703
00:21:46,383 --> 00:21:50,083
And here we are, again.
704
00:21:50,150 --> 00:21:53,517
This odd little elf
705
00:21:50,151 --> 00:21:53,517
wants to marry
706
00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:56,650
this pea-brained woman.
707
00:21:56,717 --> 00:21:59,684
Anyone object?
708
00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:01,550
Audience: [indistinct mumbling]
709
00:22:01,617 --> 00:22:02,917
- Anyone?
710
00:22:02,984 --> 00:22:09,784
No?
711
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,216
Ah.
712
00:22:11,283 --> 00:22:13,850
Do you, Edenberry Elf...
713
00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,550
Nathan: Nathan Murray.
714
00:22:15,617 --> 00:22:16,550
- Whatever.
715
00:22:16,617 --> 00:22:20,750
...take Agnet of the Troll Tower
716
00:22:16,618 --> 00:22:20,750
as your wife?
717
00:22:20,817 --> 00:22:22,984
Answer yea or nay.
718
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,350
Nathan: Yea.
719
00:22:24,417 --> 00:22:26,684
Baldric: And do you,
720
00:22:24,418 --> 00:22:26,684
Agnet of the Troll Tower,
721
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,350
take Edenberry Elf--
722
00:22:28,417 --> 00:22:29,183
Nathan: Nathan Murray.
723
00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:30,283
- Eh.
724
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,483
...to be your husband?
725
00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:33,583
- Yea.
726
00:22:33,650 --> 00:22:34,583
Verily.
727
00:22:34,650 --> 00:22:35,583
[giggle]
728
00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:39,717
- I now pronounce you,
729
00:22:35,651 --> 00:22:39,717
uh, elf and wife.
730
00:22:39,784 --> 00:22:41,583
Nathan/Agnet:
731
00:22:39,785 --> 00:22:41,583
[squealing excitedly]
732
00:22:41,650 --> 00:22:43,517
[audience applause]
733
00:22:43,583 --> 00:22:47,116
Nathan/Agnet:
734
00:22:43,584 --> 00:22:47,116
[joyful laughter]
735
00:22:47,183 --> 00:22:53,383
Nathan: Bye!
736
00:22:53,450 --> 00:22:55,750
Dwight: And no more plague.
737
00:22:55,817 --> 00:22:57,083
That's good news.
738
00:22:57,150 --> 00:23:00,283
Chlodwig: What about Hellibad
739
00:22:57,151 --> 00:23:00,283
fleeing the knights of the IRF?
740
00:23:00,350 --> 00:23:02,116
Dwight: IRS.
741
00:23:02,183 --> 00:23:10,016
Gretta: Who's running
742
00:23:02,184 --> 00:23:10,016
the tavern now?
743
00:23:10,083 --> 00:23:13,316
[chatter]
744
00:23:13,383 --> 00:23:14,917
Jacopo: Ahhh.
745
00:23:14,984 --> 00:23:20,350
Principessa, Champion Boy,
746
00:23:14,985 --> 00:23:20,350
Piggy Brains.
747
00:23:20,417 --> 00:23:25,350
Welcome to my Tavern!
748
00:23:25,417 --> 00:23:26,917
♪
43809
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