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1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,502
Dwight: Previously
on Dwight in Shining Armor.
2
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:06,873
Hexela: She comes from a lake
shaped like a crescent.
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,308
This is a map.
4
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,076
- In particular,
of the dark realm,
5
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:14,414
where dark forces dwell,
and should not be disturbed.
6
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,383
Osric's army defeated
the Tovenaars
7
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:17,617
and then buried their bones
8
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,719
in secret regions
throughout the world.
9
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,088
Every place a Tovenaar's bones
were buried
10
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,324
they made dark realms.
11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:25,825
Gretta: We found the dark realm.
12
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:26,593
Baldric: Where?
13
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:27,494
Gretta: Here.
14
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:29,863
This village was built
on its bones.
15
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:32,198
- W- Winnie!
16
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,700
[swoosh]
17
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,301
[splash]
18
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:36,603
[school bell ringing]
19
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,671
Dwight: There's more to life
than school, Gretta.
20
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:39,906
Gretta: Indeed, there is.
21
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:43,243
- There's also
extra-curriculars.
22
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:47,247
Stuff you do for school,
outside of school.
23
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,314
- More school?
24
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:49,549
- And this one also
gives you extra credit
25
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,650
in English.
26
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:51,251
Huh?
27
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:51,985
Huh?
28
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:53,420
- [groans]
29
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:55,288
What exactly goes on here?
30
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,123
- The Daily Woodchuck.
31
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:57,857
- Hm.
32
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:58,858
A news chronicle.
33
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,461
- The best investigative
journalism in Woodside.
34
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:03,663
You remember
the, uh, expired True Moo
35
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:04,697
in the vending machine?
36
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:05,665
- Uuuch.
37
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:06,933
- These are the guys
that broke that story.
38
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:07,667
- Oh.
39
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:08,601
- Right?
40
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,304
- I still think the news
is best when sung.
41
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,372
- Unngh.
42
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,677
- Unless... no.
43
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,881
Follow up on cafeteria worker,
Bergerman.
44
00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:25,618
What or who is behind
no more Pizza Friday?
45
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,687
[sigh]
46
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,023
Happy Friday, Woodchuckians!
47
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:31,424
Gann, Rosenfeld,
48
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,094
kudos on breaking
the upstairs leaky faucet story.
49
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,062
Yes.
50
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,698
Principal Shoemaker was left
with no choice
51
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:42,202
but to allocate funds
for a new valve.
52
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:45,805
And we've had 31 hits
on our website
53
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,508
in the last hour alone!
54
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,008
Yes!
55
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,176
[clapping]
56
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:54,581
That, people, is the kind
of hard-charging journalism
57
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,950
we're striving for
at The Daily Woodchuck.
58
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:57,951
Am I right? Or am I right?
59
00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:58,585
Huh?
60
00:01:58,586 --> 00:01:59,519
Am I right? Or am I right?
61
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,787
- He's right, he's right.
62
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,556
Zeke: Okay, time is story.
63
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:07,393
'Boy's Lacrosse Wins
First Game in Two Years.'
64
00:02:07,394 --> 00:02:08,528
Who has that one?
65
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,564
Parker, Gillespie, kill it.
66
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:14,501
Has anyone actually seen
a woodchuck in Woodside?
67
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,803
Anybody?
68
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:20,540
Keep the streak alive, guys,
keep the streak alive.
69
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,510
Principal Shoemaker
addresses controversy
70
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:27,547
of slow reaction time
to leaky faucet.
71
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:31,684
McCollis, McCollis,
the truth must prevail.
72
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:35,021
Hey, and work together
this time!
73
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,723
[sigh]
74
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:37,891
Dwight.
75
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:41,394
What brings you to
Woodside High's beacon of truth?
76
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,796
Dwight: Hey, well Gretta and I
thought we'd try our hand
77
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,065
at some student journalism.
78
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:48,902
And one of us really needs
the extra credit help.
79
00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:50,103
- Whoof.
80
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:52,772
Zeke: My sources tell me
you're preparing for a role
81
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:57,877
in an as yet unannounced
Lord of the Rings reboot.
82
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:01,548
- We can neither confirm
nor deny.
83
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:08,087
♪♪
84
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:10,623
- Total committment.
85
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,258
Love that.
86
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:15,628
- So, yeah,
you got anything for us, Zeke?
87
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,663
- Maybe.
88
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,132
I could use some more
eyes and ears on a lead
89
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,567
that just came in.
90
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:21,234
- We've got eyes.
91
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,035
- And ears.
92
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:22,936
- What's the lead?
93
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:25,505
- Two guys reported
seeing a monster
94
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:30,243
in Woodside Lake.
95
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:33,546
- Sounds... kooky.
96
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,581
Zeke: Probably,
97
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:38,284
but I've seen things
that will blow your mind.
98
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,919
- At The Daily Woodchuck?
99
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,655
- Enough to teach me
that anything is possible.
100
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,158
- But, a lake monster?
101
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:46,693
I, uh.
102
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,328
Zeke: And we have a picture.
103
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,395
- We do?
104
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:49,963
[chuckles]
105
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,064
Nah, there's nothing
106
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:54,968
that a blurry, grainy
surveillance photo would...
107
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,271
oh, that is crystal clear.
108
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:02,208
But I mean, that's,
that's still pretty far away,
109
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,076
wouldn't you say?
110
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:05,812
I mean, that, that, I, uh,
111
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,414
oh, and now we're up its nose.
112
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,216
Gretta: Pff,
that could be anything,
113
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,017
a mermaid?
114
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:11,651
Dwight: Not a mermaid.
115
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:12,719
- An aquatic elf?
116
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,586
- What?
117
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,387
Huh?
118
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:17,190
- If not a monster,
what is it?
119
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:21,828
Let's go talk
to Drone #99, shall we?
120
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,098
Dwight: [groan]
121
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:26,199
- If the Wyvern is discovered,
122
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,301
it will create a panic
among the peasants.
123
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,103
- It's not the panic
I'm worried about.
124
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,271
- Nothing incites a panic
among the peasants
125
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,807
like a dragon.
126
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,042
- Well, what's more likely
127
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,245
is that Woodside
would be overrun with tourists.
128
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,346
- Hm?
129
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:42,649
- Look what happened
at Loch Ness!
130
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:44,584
We have to stop Zeke.
131
00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,025
♪♪
132
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,459
Dwight: Okay, so about
a thousand years ago,
133
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,328
there was this princess, Gretta
134
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,396
and she was in big trouble
135
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,597
because she had lots of enemies
136
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:00,266
and not a lot of friends.
137
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:04,804
So her court magician, Baldric
cast the champion spell.
138
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,139
It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
139
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,306
until a champion would come,
140
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,341
break the spell with his kiss,
141
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,410
and deal with
Gretta's big, scary enemies.
142
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,545
But that guy never showed up.
143
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,079
Aah!
144
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,514
Instead...
145
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,248
[kiss]
146
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,816
they got me.
147
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:18,551
Ah!
148
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:22,922
♪♪
149
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,023
Ow!
150
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:37,704
♪♪
151
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,473
Dwight: I mean, it really
could be anything.
152
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,008
A submerged tree,
153
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,844
a really large turtle.
154
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,379
- The helmet of an ogress.
155
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,313
- Not helping.
156
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,948
- Hm, keeping all options
on the table,
157
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,550
I like it.
158
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,386
Day one of the monster
in the lake investigation,
159
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,887
Zeke Pickering here.
160
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:55,655
Dronelover 98: We got it!
161
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:57,890
We got the monster!
162
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:58,658
Zoom out.
163
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,026
You're too close, zoom out!
164
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,894
- What does it look like
I'm doing?
165
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,331
- Nooo!
166
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,099
Oh.
167
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:06,666
[quacking]
168
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,102
Nooo.
169
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,971
It's not the monster.
170
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,172
Ah, man.
171
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,174
That's... bummer.
172
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,008
- A duck.
173
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,310
You were freaking out
over a duck.
174
00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:17,944
Give me that.
175
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,079
- It's still my turn.
176
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,715
- You must be Dronelover 99!
177
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,818
- Well, I'm 98, he's 99.
178
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,253
- Oh.
179
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,421
Tell me about the monster.
180
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,457
Dwight: Uh, alleged
monster/probable turtle.
181
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,726
- We've been filming
for like an hour.
182
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,894
- Thirty-eight minutes.
183
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,062
- Filming what?
184
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,797
Dronelover 98: Part of the
kayaking adventure package.
185
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,265
Dronelover 99:
We do paddleboats too.
186
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:41,200
Zeke: Okay, so
you were filming a kayaker--
187
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,370
Dronelover 98:
When this head, creature thing,
188
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:46,038
suddenly broke the surface.
189
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,173
Dronelover 99: It was fantastic.
190
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,574
My greatest discovery yet.
191
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,476
Dronelover 98: Oh, so now
it's your discovery?
192
00:06:50,477 --> 00:06:52,645
- And it already has
831 views.
193
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,880
Dronelover 99: Well,
if somebody hadn't forgot
194
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,014
to charge the drone,
195
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,150
we could have gotten more
than one good shot of it.
196
00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,251
- Well, maybe if somebody knew
197
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,720
how to operate the zoom button,
then this--
198
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:01,821
Gretta: Did the Wyv--
199
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:02,688
Dwight: [coughing purposefully]
200
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,724
Gretta: Uh, uh, the,
201
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:11,230
the uh, mysterious
dragon-like creature
202
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,099
linger above the surface
for very long?
203
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,201
- Long enough to eat a raccoon.
204
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:15,835
Zeke: Ha!
205
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,436
Rules out submerged tree.
206
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,471
- Yeah, probably.
207
00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:19,605
[clicking]
208
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,173
- The drone!
209
00:07:20,174 --> 00:07:22,008
[high-pitched whirring]
210
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,609
Dronelover 98 & 99: Ah!
211
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:27,213
Drone, drone, drone.
212
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,148
- Could Woodside actually
have a monster swimming
213
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,284
in its lake
or are we just dealing
214
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,619
with two
attention-starved weirdies,
215
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,254
and their elaborate hoax.
216
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:35,922
Dwight: Hoax!
217
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:36,355
Yes!
218
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,089
Yes, hoax,
219
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,960
that's, it's so obvious.
220
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,765
- Reconvene tomorrow
at 8 a.m.
221
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:47,967
Dwight: Yeah.
222
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,305
- The peasant is good.
223
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,840
- Too good.
224
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:58,477
[birds chirping]
225
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:02,648
♪♪
226
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:03,950
- Good, Zeke's not here.
227
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,184
We have to find out
what he knows,
228
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,719
knock him off the trail.
229
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,987
- [sighs]
230
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:13,226
- I don't usually advocate
this type of invasion of privacy
231
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:16,195
but, in this case...
232
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,069
It's just a little trick
I learned on YouTube.
233
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:25,004
It's all in the wrist action.
234
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,773
[bang]
235
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,941
- 'Kay.
236
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:29,842
He'll be here any minute.
237
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,144
Look for anything
out of the ordinary.
238
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:35,381
- Would that be
out of the ordinary?
239
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:38,618
[ominous music]
240
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,953
- He did all that
in one night?
241
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,922
What kind
of obsessed, crazed person
242
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,624
are we dealing with?
243
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:45,625
[roar]
244
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,525
- Algae!
245
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,426
Gretta and Dwight: [scream]
246
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,995
- [scream]
247
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,731
What are you doing in my office?
248
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,498
Dwight and Gretta:
[stammering]
249
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:56,903
- It's... 8:03.
250
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,037
- Oh.
251
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,507
Yeah, must have fallen asleep,
252
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:07,813
but I did make some headway
last night.
253
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:11,150
[muttering]
Give me a second here.
254
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,721
- You just...
255
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,758
- [gargling]
256
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,360
- Ah.
257
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,695
- [smacking lips]
258
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,497
[chuckles softly]
259
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:28,834
Okay, what if the sun reflecting
off the south rock,
260
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:31,237
hit the yellow algae
on the west side of the lake
261
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,473
at the exact moment
the kayaker paddled
262
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:35,942
through the east cove,
263
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:40,880
creating a one-in-a-million
optical illusion?
264
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:45,318
I.e. Woodside's lake monster.
265
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,787
- Of course!
- I love it!
266
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:51,991
- I loved it too,
until the video came in.
267
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,126
- The video?
268
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,428
Wedding Planner:
So, I was standing here
269
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,363
ordering a case
of buttermints.
270
00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,464
- Color?
271
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,532
- Pink.
272
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:04,770
And I look up and I see this,
on the monitor.
273
00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:09,775
♪♪
274
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,079
It's from our outside
security cameras.
275
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,881
Dwight: You can barely tell
that it's her.
276
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:17,683
That it, that it's,
277
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,618
it's an it, it's an it.
278
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,486
It.
279
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:23,990
Okay, yeah.
280
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:28,260
That's a little better,
but you can't,
281
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,028
yup, yup,
282
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,831
that's absolutely
immaculate.
283
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,566
Zeke: Uh,
was there anything else?
284
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,302
- And no is a perfectly
acceptable answer.
285
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,803
Wedding Planner: There was a
song that it sang,
286
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:41,007
like a Taylor Swift
revenge song.
287
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:45,077
If Taylor Swift ate raccoons
and had scales.
288
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:48,147
Dwight: Now, now, now see,
if you had audio,
289
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,216
then maybe this
would be helpful,
290
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,984
but, oh, you got it.
291
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,020
Okay.
292
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,321
Um.
293
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,423
[Wyvernese playing]
294
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,225
No, no, I,
295
00:10:59,226 --> 00:11:00,926
you still can't really
hear anything,
296
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,294
but it might be muffled.
297
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,329
[Wyvernese amplified]
298
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,096
Yeah, there it is...
299
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,265
[Wyvernese amplified]
300
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,101
- Most unsettling.
301
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,336
- Yeah,
I would say more Lady Gaga,
302
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,237
than Taylor Swift,
303
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,304
but I see
where she was going with it.
304
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,707
- What does this
exasperating wyvern want now?
305
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,775
- I don't know,
306
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,043
but we've gotta put a lid on it
before it gets...
307
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:22,415
[excited crowd noises]
308
00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:26,652
Crowd: [chanting]
Free the lake monster!
309
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,354
- ...out of control.
310
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,388
[crowd clamors]
311
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,990
- [sighs]
312
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:34,560
- He's just misunderstood,
313
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:37,363
like, he just wants love,
you know.
314
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,298
- There's nothing
to be afraid of, monster,
315
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,800
we love you!
316
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,134
Both: We love you!
317
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:46,972
We love you!
[squealing]
318
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:49,475
Dronelover 98:
Get your monster shirts here!
319
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,409
Buy three,
320
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,845
get one "I heart the beast" hat
half off.
321
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:53,312
[pneumatic pop]
322
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:53,679
[thunk]
323
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,180
- Oh.
324
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,781
- Today only!
325
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,016
- [grunts]
326
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,153
Oh.
327
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,388
So cheesy.
328
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,255
You know, it--
329
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,390
it's this kind
of gross commercialism
330
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,959
that destroys nice little towns
every day.
331
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,528
- This is not
the panicked frenzy I expected.
332
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:13,899
What kind of peasants
aren't afraid of a dragon?
333
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,135
Make for the hills!
334
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,737
She'll eat your young ones!
335
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:22,908
[crowd clamor
continues unabated]
336
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,110
Nothing.
337
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,711
- Well, she's just
minding her own business,
338
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,113
just swimming around.
339
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:32,451
I mean, she's not gonna eat
anybody, she's just...
340
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:36,889
She's trying to tell us
something.
341
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,291
- But what?
342
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,994
- [soft gasp]
343
00:12:44,563 --> 00:12:45,564
Mm.
344
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,233
Baldric: Hm.
345
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,034
- Unicorn tail.
346
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,836
Baldric: Yes.
347
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,012
You think this will work?
348
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,914
- Sh.
349
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,683
Griffin milk.
350
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:09,221
- [exhales softly]
351
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:09,822
[clink]
352
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,491
Yeah, oo.
353
00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:18,497
Careful.
354
00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,101
[small sizzles]
355
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,905
Oh, oh.
356
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,072
- Mm.
357
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:28,207
- Huh.
358
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:33,913
[tentative chuckle]
359
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,315
Ha, ha, ha.
360
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,584
I do believe it worked.
361
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,451
- Hm.
362
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,221
- Hexela.
363
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,924
You are the woman of my--
364
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:45,491
[explosion]
365
00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:46,592
Both: [scream]
366
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,527
[hissing steam]
367
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:49,461
Baldric: Evacuate!
368
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:57,570
Both: [coughing]
369
00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:59,438
Baldric: Hexie,
are you all right?
370
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,006
- [huge cough]
371
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:01,440
Ah.
372
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,541
- What's amiss?
373
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,610
- Not griffin milk.
374
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,212
- Obviously.
375
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,079
[cough]
376
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,115
Gretta: I'm afraid
we have dire news.
377
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:11,650
Dwight: Maybe dire,
we don't really know.
378
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:16,388
- The wyvern has surfaced
in Crescent Lake.
379
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,022
- What?
380
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:17,656
- Why?
381
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,825
- Perhaps to beckon us.
382
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,427
Dwight: Yeah,
I have the audio drop
383
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:22,962
from the wedding planner.
384
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,863
Hexela: Hm.
385
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,764
[Wyvernese playing]
386
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:26,665
Mm-hm.
387
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:31,637
[Wyvernese playing]
388
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:32,571
Oh.
389
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:33,939
[gasp]
390
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,140
[Wyvernese playing]
391
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,010
Oh my.
392
00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:40,446
[click]
393
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:43,849
There's a half off sale
at Bernwick's Ale and Cheese.
394
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,684
Gretta, Baldric and Hexela: Ooo.
395
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,253
Hexela: Yes.
396
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,587
Wait, no.
397
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,622
Play that last part again.
398
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:50,322
The, the, the...
399
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,590
- Uh.
400
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:55,494
[Wyvernese playing]
401
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,030
- [snorting laughter]
402
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:58,831
Forgive me.
403
00:14:58,832 --> 00:14:59,898
All: [laugh]
404
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:04,903
Hexela: Um, ruin, desolation,
dark times return.
405
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,306
- And that sounded
like half off at Bernbob's?
406
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,474
- Bernwick's.
407
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,677
Wyvernese is
a very complex dialect.
408
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:12,845
- Huh.
409
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:15,347
Baldric: Dark times return.
410
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,216
- Wh-what does that mean?
411
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:18,417
Dark times.
412
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,185
- If it means what I fear--
413
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:21,420
Gretta: We must find out
for certain.
414
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,021
Hexela: Mm-hm.
415
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:22,688
- Yes.
416
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,956
- I'll speak to the wyvern.
417
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:24,623
Baldric: Mm.
418
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:25,858
Dwight: But how?
419
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,226
I mean,
there's tourists everywhere
420
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,694
and Zeke's
all over the story.
421
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:29,428
- Well, don't worry,
422
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,130
I'll turn them
into parsnips.
423
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,464
[small laugh]
424
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:33,632
Dwight: No.
425
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,534
- I understand your objection.
426
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:36,302
Cabbages, then.
427
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:36,869
Baldric: Ah, yes.
428
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:37,803
Gretta: Ah.
429
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,605
- You think I think
cabbages are better?
430
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,806
- I know I do.
431
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,941
Baldric: Wouldn't you rather
be a cabbage than a parsnip?
432
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,575
Hm?
433
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:44,443
- Who wouldn't?
434
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,045
Baldric: I've been a parsnip.
435
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:46,745
[chuckle]
436
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,180
- When have you been a pars--
437
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,782
you, you, know, no.
438
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:50,949
Never mind.
439
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,583
No!
440
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,419
No cabbages, no parsnips.
441
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:57,589
We'll just-- we'll just go
out to the south bank.
442
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,692
No one's ever on that side
of the lake.
443
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:03,128
[loon calls]
444
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,900
Hexela: Mm.
445
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,768
Mm.
446
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:11,770
[spritz]
447
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,372
Mm.
448
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:14,306
Mm, delicious.
449
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,476
[clears throat]
450
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:21,013
[very melodic] Mi-i-i-.
451
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:32,091
[Wyvernese]
452
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:37,229
Fangirls: [squealing]
453
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,430
Fangirl 2: Where is it?
454
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,998
Fangirl: We're here for you!
455
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:43,035
Fangirl 2: Run away
with me, lake beast.
456
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:51,410
[crowd clamoring]
457
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,978
Gretta: So many peasants.
458
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,647
- Uh, false alarm everybody!
459
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,716
There's no lake monster here.
460
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:58,584
Sorry.
461
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,720
Maybe go check
by the paddle boats.
462
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,055
Yeah.
463
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,993
At least Zeke's not here.
464
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:09,561
[thump]
465
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,095
- Huh.
466
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:10,829
- And there you are.
467
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:11,997
- Putting in the overtime.
468
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:15,401
Love the hustle, Woodchuckians.
469
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:20,672
- [loud whisper] Diversion. Now.
470
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,374
Something, anything.
471
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,677
- Leave it to me.
472
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,747
Behold, the creature!
473
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:36,488
Crowd:
[squealing and yelling]
474
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,890
Baldric: Ha, ha.
475
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:38,323
Ah.
476
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:40,192
[thump]
477
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:40,893
Ha, ha.
478
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,628
[thump]
479
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,296
Wah!
480
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,398
Dwight: There's
the real story, Zeke.
481
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,599
See right there?
482
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,204
This, this lake monster mania
is a danger to the public.
483
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,373
Pandemonium at Woodside Lake.
484
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:57,676
Grown man tripped three times
in three seconds.
485
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,077
- [rough gasps]
486
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,880
Follow me, peasants!
487
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:02,514
Quickly.
488
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:03,048
- [screams]
489
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:03,816
[thud]
490
00:18:03,817 --> 00:18:05,117
Dwight: Oh, girl sprains ankle.
491
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,686
Another drops her phone.
492
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,921
- Public safety message.
493
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,255
- Let's go interview
the survivors.
494
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,024
Yeah?
495
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,328
[bubbling]
496
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,930
[spurt]
497
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:24,636
[splashing]
498
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,737
- [sigh]
499
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:32,911
- [Wyvernese]
500
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:37,349
- Oh, well met,
child of a thief.
501
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,118
- [Wyvernese]
502
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,054
Hexela: Where is my champion?
503
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:42,988
- [Wyvernese]
504
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,056
- Your champion?
505
00:18:44,057 --> 00:18:45,858
- [Wyvernese]
506
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:48,627
Hexela:
My message is for him.
507
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,128
- He had to run off.
508
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,332
- [Wyvernese]
509
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,901
Hexela: I owe him
a debt of gratitude.
510
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:57,436
- I'll give him the message.
511
00:18:57,437 --> 00:19:00,372
- [Wyvernese]
512
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,373
- [Wyvernese]
513
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:02,808
I'll wait.
514
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:03,942
- [Wyvernese]
515
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:07,713
Zeke: I don't believe it!
516
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,215
It's the... it's the...
517
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,583
- [Wyvernese snort]
518
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,285
Dwight: [panting] Okay.
519
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,653
I think I lost Zeke.
520
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,356
Oh, great, I thought I lost you.
521
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,558
- The lake monster.
522
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:26,365
- Uh, there is a,
a really simple explanation, um,
523
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,966
[groans in defeat]
524
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:30,669
Gretta, you want to take
this one?
525
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,971
- It's coming!
526
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,707
Crowd: [squealing]
527
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,809
He's here!
528
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:44,349
Crowd: [clamoring]
529
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,151
- Uh, guys.
530
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,287
Crowd: [clamoring]
531
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:51,089
Zeke: New York Times
eat your heart out.
532
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:57,930
[crowd noise continues]
533
00:19:57,931 --> 00:19:59,765
Dronelover 99: I told you
this was a stupid idea.
534
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:06,305
[distant indistinct arguing]
535
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:08,006
Winnie: [Wyvernese snark]
536
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,641
- [scream]
537
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:15,414
Crowd: [disappointed sounds]
538
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,316
- Huh.
539
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,218
Fangirl 3: It's a hoax.
540
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,753
- Nooo!
541
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:32,664
[disappointed crowd noises]
542
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,767
Dronelover 98: Wait! Wait!
543
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,837
The video, it was real.
544
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:39,938
We just,
545
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:43,575
we just wanted to give the crowd
a little excitement.
546
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,044
Sell, sell some shirts.
547
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,179
Dronelover 99: Her idea.
548
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,047
I'll go on record.
549
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,149
Dronelover 98: Please!
550
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,352
- [disappointedly] Hoax.
551
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:54,886
Just a hoax?
552
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:56,922
For just a second, I thought...
553
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,125
but it still feels
like I'm missing something.
554
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:00,759
- [Wyvernese snort]
555
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,361
Zeke: Something obvious.
556
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:05,397
Right in front of my face,
but what?
557
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,098
Winnie: [quiet Wyvernese]
558
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:06,632
- [desperate whisper] Winnie!
559
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:07,499
- What am I missing?
560
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,835
- [quiet Wyvernese snort]
561
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,304
Dwight: Probably
just a little sleep, man.
562
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,172
- [quiet Wyvernese]
563
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:16,208
Dwight: Ah, come on,
don't take it so hard.
564
00:21:16,209 --> 00:21:18,977
At least you solved
the leaky fountain mystery.
565
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,178
I mean, that was great.
566
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:20,545
Right?
567
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:20,979
- Yeah.
568
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:21,813
- Right?
569
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:22,748
Okay.
570
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:23,849
See you at school.
571
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:26,818
Baldric: [panting]
572
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:29,521
- Well, the lake monster story
has deflated
573
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,423
as fast as it arrived.
574
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,825
Just a couple
of sad, lonely geeks
575
00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:35,427
looking for a little attention.
576
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,461
Baldric: Oh, oh.
577
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,596
- Baldric!
578
00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,231
- Oh, oh.
579
00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:44,703
I have kindling
in my crevices.
580
00:21:44,704 --> 00:21:46,238
Hexela: Oh.
581
00:21:46,239 --> 00:21:48,140
- You really took one
for the team, man.
582
00:21:49,307 --> 00:21:50,542
- Ah!
583
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,943
My Lady Wyvern.
584
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:58,150
- [Wyvernese]
585
00:21:58,151 --> 00:22:01,019
- The evil that was buried
here long ago is unearthed.
586
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,854
Winnie: [Wyvernese]
587
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:03,989
- It rises.
588
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,558
- [Wyvernese]
589
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:07,926
Hexela: It gathers strength.
590
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:09,961
- [Wyvernese]
591
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:12,764
Hexela: If you desire to save
your own life, run.
592
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:17,769
- [Wyvernese]
593
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:20,372
Hexela: If you desire
to save this land, stay...
594
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,873
-[Wyvernese]
595
00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,643
- And fight.
596
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:26,878
- Got it.
597
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:29,281
- [Wyvernese]
598
00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:30,982
- I will stand with you.
599
00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:32,684
- [Wyvernese]
600
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,186
Dwight: I appreciate that.
601
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:36,888
Winnie and Hexela:
[Wyvernese]
602
00:22:40,726 --> 00:22:43,395
[magical noise]
603
00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:45,630
[splash]
604
00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:52,170
♪♪
605
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:54,372
So, let's hope week two
of our journalism career
606
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,408
is a little less eventful.
607
00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:57,309
[sigh]
608
00:22:57,310 --> 00:22:58,610
- Afternoon, people.
609
00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:00,712
McCollis, McCollis, well done
610
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,148
on the Principal Shoemaker
response piece.
611
00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:04,583
Fair, but unwavering.
612
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:07,285
Parker, Gillespie,
nice Woodchuck pics.
613
00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:09,788
And Dwight, Gretta,
the three of us
614
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,389
are teaming up
on a new lead.
615
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,524
- Bring it.
616
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:15,994
- Mysterious holes are
turning up all over Woodside.
617
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:22,134
[ominous music]
618
00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:37,082
♪♪
619
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:52,030
♪♪
620
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:57,102
♪♪
621
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:57,636
♪♪
39272
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