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1
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[ominous music]
2
00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:13,313
♪♪
3
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[coughing]
4
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,122
[exhales]
5
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:26,926
- Not again.
6
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:28,428
Gretta: Did you remember
to pack your night clothes
7
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and your socks?
8
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:30,897
Baldric: Yes, yes,
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00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:31,765
yes.
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00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,933
Gretta: And your tooth
cleaning brush?
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00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:37,103
- Everything is ready,
but this is folly.
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I cannot go
and leave you unattended.
13
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,240
Gretta: Nonsense.
14
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:43,676
Prince Chlodwig and
Sir Dwight will attend to me.
15
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:44,911
Baldric: But, Highness...
16
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,813
Gretta: The assembly
of the magician's guild meets
17
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,581
once only every...
18
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,583
Baldric: Five hundred years.
19
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- You must go.
20
00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,319
- [frustrated sigh]
21
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[door squeaks]
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Dwight: Oh, hey Gretta,
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hey Baldric.
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You ready for your trip?
25
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,124
Baldric: Yes.
26
00:00:58,125 --> 00:00:59,692
I must be off.
27
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:00,627
Dwight: You guys know
about this note
28
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on the front of your door?
29
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[door shuts]
30
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:05,098
Gretta: What note?
31
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Oh, it's addressed
to you, Chlodwig.
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- Is it?
33
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,602
- Hey man, soundin' good.
34
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- My first performance
is tomorrow.
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You will attend, Sir Dwight?
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Dwight: Wouldn't miss it, buddy.
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Baldric: I take my leave
of you, Highness.
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00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,244
Gretta: Good journey, Baldric.
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- See you Thursday.
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Have fun.
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Baldric: Protect the princess
with your very life,
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nay your very soul.
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Dwight: Will do.
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[slap]
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[grunt]
46
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Chlodwig: 'Tis a challenge,
written in most rude language.
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Gretta: What manner
of challenge?
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Chlodwig: I've been called
out to defend my title
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as champion of the hammer throw.
50
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- By whom?
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Chlodwig: It doesn't say,
52
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but the contest is
at mid-day.
53
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I must be off at once.
54
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Dwight: Hey, hang on,
55
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we promised Baldric
that we'd stay with Gretta.
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Gretta: And so you shall.
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00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,080
We shall all go
to the contest.
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I do so love a hammer throw.
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Chlodwig: Brilliant.
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00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,419
Baldric couldn't possibly
object to a brief excursion
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00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,286
into the woods.
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00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,354
- Uh.
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00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,456
- Oh, don't be such
a mubble-fubble, Sir Dwight.
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[smack]
65
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We promised we'd stay together,
and so we will.
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00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,994
Let's away.
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- [sigh]
68
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[theme music]
69
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Dwight: Okay, so
about a thousand years ago,
70
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there was this princess, Gretta.
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And she was in big trouble
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00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:15,034
because she had lots of enemies
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and not a lot of friends.
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♪♪
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So her court magician, Baldric
cast the champion spell.
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It put everyone in the woods
to sleep
77
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until a champion would come,
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00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:25,879
break the spell
with his kiss,
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00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,081
and deal with Gretta's
big, scary enemies.
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00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,316
But that guy, never showed up.
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00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:30,683
Instead...
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Ah!
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[kiss]
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they got me.
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♪♪
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Ah!
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♪♪
88
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Ow!
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♪♪
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♪♪
91
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[thwacking]
92
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Dwight: Are you sure you know
where you're going?
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Chlodwig:
The challenge was clear,
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we're to meet
upon the great knoll,
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just north of the muddy peat,
96
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:17,430
two furlongs
from the brambly oak.
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00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,398
- It's almost mid-day.
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00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,866
- We must make haste.
99
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:23,870
Dwight: I can't make
much more haste, man.
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Oh.
101
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Uh.
102
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Chlodwig: There,
the brambly oaks.
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[bird calls]
104
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[crunch]
105
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,550
Dwight: Ah!
106
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[crash]
107
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[coughing]
108
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:41,888
Dwight: What?
109
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Is everybody okay?
110
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[coughing]
111
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Dwight: [screaming]
112
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Snakes!
113
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Snakes everywhere!
114
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[screaming]
115
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- They're not poisonous.
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Dwight: How do you know?
117
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That one there,
that one looks poisonous.
118
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What is it?
119
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Red touches black,
you're dead Jack,
120
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or yellow touches red,
you're dead Fred?
121
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[thwap]
122
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Ah!
123
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,278
Dwight: What?
124
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,013
Agnet: Oh, dear me.
125
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,681
Poor, hapless soul,
126
00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,483
wherefore art thou
at the bottom
127
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:13,786
of this deep pit full of snakes?
128
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,488
Chlodwig: Oh no.
129
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,823
It's her.
130
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:20,593
Dwight: Hey there,
is this your rope thing?
131
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,195
- 'Tis a braid of hair.
132
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:25,531
Agnet: Is that you,
Prince Chlodwig?
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[Dwight yelping]
134
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,702
- Agnet!
135
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,104
- Oh! My darling.
136
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,538
Chlodwig: You go too far.
137
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,773
[Dwight making
panicked noises]
138
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,774
Agnet: There are no lengths
139
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,478
I wouldn't go for you,
my love.
140
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,679
- Who is this maiden?
141
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,347
Chlodwig: The scourge
of my life,
142
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,083
the bane of my existence.
143
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,451
- I've come to rescue you.
144
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,486
Dwight: Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
145
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:47,954
Chlodwig: Absolutely no.
146
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,455
Agnet: Absolutely yes.
147
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,558
I shall save you from this pit
of deadly snakes.
148
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,761
Gretta: Deadly?
149
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,095
- Very deadly.
150
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,697
- Red touches black,
you're dead, Jack.
151
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,665
Agnet: Chlodwig, my sweet,
152
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,601
simply grab hold
of my long, luscious braid
153
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:04,370
and pull yourself out
of the pit to safety.
154
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:05,605
- I love this plan.
155
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:09,042
Agnet: That we may be married
and live happily ever after.
156
00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:12,879
Chlodwig: I will never
marry you, Agnet.
157
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:13,546
[thwap]
158
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,347
Dwight: Maybe dump the girl
159
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,516
after we get out
of this snake pit?
160
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:19,085
- But you are
my prince charming.
161
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:22,588
Gretta: The snakes
are growing restless.
162
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Stabilize your head, maiden.
163
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We are climbing up.
164
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:28,194
- Is that a girl?
165
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,196
- I am
Princess Gretta the Besieged.
166
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,798
Agnet: [gasp] Gretta?
167
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,766
Ugh, why did you bring Gretta?
168
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,102
Unhand my braid,
this is a plan for my prince,
169
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,103
not for you.
170
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,972
Dwight: Wait, you,
you planned this?
171
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,009
- See, see how much I love you?
172
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,112
Chlodwig: She is out
of her tiny mind.
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You cannot believe,
174
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:51,317
was it you who sent this
challenge of the hammer throw
175
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on the great knoll?
176
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,554
- It was.
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00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,756
Gretta: And filled this pit
with deadly snakes?
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00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,790
- Oh yes.
179
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,158
- And got us to fall into it?
180
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:02,829
- All to prove my love
for you, my darling prince.
181
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,097
Dwight: Wow.
182
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:05,498
You think about the logistics
of actually pulling this off--
183
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,566
Chlodwig: What kind
of a lunatic
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00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:11,571
would imperil someone's life
to prove their love?
185
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,339
Agnet: Chlodwig, my sweet,
start climbing,
186
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,174
we are on a schedule today.
187
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Chlodwig: I suggest instead
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00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,544
that we live out our lives
down here.
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'Tis a comfortable pit
of ample size
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and well- stocked
with snake meat.
191
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,684
- [sigh]
192
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:25,585
- Mm.
193
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,120
[exhales]
194
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,254
- Ow!
195
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,055
Ow.
196
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,390
[crash]
197
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,827
[coughing]
198
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:37,463
- This, this is all your fault.
199
00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:38,431
- My fault?
200
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:43,102
Agnet: Yes, you, and
your immense poundage.
201
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,371
[Agnet screaming]
202
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:49,542
[Agnet and Dwight screaming]
203
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:50,777
Gretta: Get off me!
204
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:51,844
Agnet: You have made
a vile mess
205
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,479
of my perfectly lovely plan.
206
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,615
Dwight: What exactly was
your perfectly lovely plan?
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00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,016
Agnet: Oh, well the handsome
prince climbs up
208
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,451
the beautiful maiden's hair.
209
00:06:58,452 --> 00:06:59,385
Dwight: Woo!
210
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:00,987
Agnet: The way it happens
in all my books.
211
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,789
Chlodwig:
Of all the potty ideas.
212
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,557
Agnet: But this ton
of princess has gone
213
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:05,491
and ruined everything
214
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,326
and now we shall all die
of snakebite.
215
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,427
Gretta: I think not!
216
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:08,961
Agnet: Oh,
217
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:09,428
ah,
218
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,330
oh.
219
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:15,067
Ah!
220
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,636
[squeals]
221
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:21,607
My hair!
222
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:27,246
Gretta: [grunt]
223
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,215
Dwight: Nice.
224
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:37,356
[grunting]
225
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,558
- Okay, I'm out.
226
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:43,529
Ah!
227
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:54,407
[grunting]
228
00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:57,910
[coughing]
229
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,779
Agnet: Chlodwig, my sweet,
230
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,848
now that we are free
from the snake pit,
231
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,884
we may move on
to the wedding plans.
232
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,219
- Agnet,
233
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:10,756
I would sooner marry
the snake named Jack!
234
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,425
Dwight: Dude, come on!
235
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:16,662
That was kinda harsh.
236
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,164
Agnet: You!
237
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,967
You spoiled my snake pit, you,
238
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,869
you mangled my hair,
239
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:26,305
do you have any idea how long
it took me to grow this braid?
240
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,540
Gretta: Lay a hand on me,
you lunatic,
241
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,674
and I'll chop it off.
242
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:29,842
Dwight: No, no, she won't.
243
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:30,409
- [growls]
244
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,644
Dwight: No, you won't.
245
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,914
Agnet: Why does Chlodwig love
you so, you horrid princess.
246
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,650
Gretta: He doesn't love me.
247
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,384
- He doesn't?
248
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:41,420
- No, no, he doesn't.
249
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,589
Listen, Agnet.
250
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,992
Chlodwig is
a complicated guy,
251
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:46,926
with a lot of deep feelings
252
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,829
that are sometimes hard
to express.
253
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,131
- [sighs]
254
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,766
Oh, do keep talking
about Chlodwig.
255
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,668
He is my favorite subject.
256
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,905
Dwight: Well, here's the thing
about Chlodwig.
257
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,073
He just sees you as a friend.
258
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,041
- A friend?
259
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,776
Dwight: Yeah.
260
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:04,977
Hey, there will come a time
when you realize
261
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,313
that this was for the best.
262
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,881
- So, my prince--
263
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,683
Dwight:
Is still out there, Agnet.
264
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:11,651
He's waiting for you
to find him
265
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,487
and he's hoping you
won't give up on him.
266
00:09:14,488 --> 00:09:18,424
[bird call]
267
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,892
- I understand.
268
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,493
Dwight: Good.
269
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:21,661
Yeah, great.
270
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,295
Great.
271
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,930
Chin up, off you go!
272
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:24,664
Best of luck.
273
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,731
Best foot forward,
274
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,066
go get 'em tiger.
275
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,134
Gretta: Goodbye.
276
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:28,668
Dwight: Oh!
277
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,670
Bye.
278
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,871
- [giggles]
279
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:38,377
Gretta: Oh.
280
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,346
Dwight: Hey man.
281
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,048
Chlodwig: You are just
in time.
282
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,215
I believe I follow the man
283
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:46,252
with the embarrassingly
puny mandolin.
284
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,455
[ukulele plays]
285
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,823
M. C.: Let's give Liam
here a big hand.
286
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:55,728
[applause]
287
00:09:55,729 --> 00:10:00,199
- All right, next up,
please welcome Chodwedge.
288
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,636
Chlodwig: Ah, 'tis my moment.
289
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:07,606
Gretta: Hm.
290
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,643
- I dedicate this song
to Princess Gretta,
291
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,278
my former betrothed,
292
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,080
and to Sir Dwight,
293
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,650
my brother in the order
of Guy Club.
294
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,486
Dwight: Woo!
295
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:26,292
[mandolin plays]
296
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:30,229
- ♪ Mommy promised you to me, ♪
297
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:34,100
♪ but I had to set you free, ♪
298
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,801
♪ so I did, ♪
299
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:39,839
♪ and wrote this poem
to sing to other girls ♪
300
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:44,443
♪ once I know 'em. ♪
301
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,046
♪ Gretta, Gretta,
you were my love, ♪
302
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,581
♪ my cousin, my quest. ♪
303
00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:50,182
♪ Gretta, Gretta,
Gretta, ♪
304
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,818
♪ it's over now and
for the best. ♪
305
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:56,088
♪ Gretta, Gretta,
Gretta, Gretta, ♪
306
00:10:56,089 --> 00:11:02,862
♪ you were my looooooooove. ♪
307
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:04,263
[exhales]
308
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:07,833
Thank you.
309
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:08,534
[applause]
310
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,069
Dwight: Yeah.
311
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,504
Yeah, come on.
312
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,273
M.C.: Okay, awesome.
313
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:27,520
Uh, uh, next up
let's welcome Agnet.
314
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:32,691
[blasting on bagpipe]
315
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:36,228
- ♪ I was a beautiful
maiden in a tower ♪
316
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:39,665
♪ that was guarded
by a troll. ♪
317
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:42,268
[bagpipe blast]
318
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:46,172
♪ The troll did not let me leave
the tower, never. ♪
319
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:51,744
♪ Not once in my entire life,
just me by myself in a tower. ♪
320
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:54,346
♪ It was exceedingly boring. ♪
321
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:58,217
[bagpipe blast]
322
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,319
♪ Until one day
my prince came ♪
323
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:05,791
♪ and left the troll unconscious
and set me free. ♪
324
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,760
[bagpipe blast]
325
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:11,597
♪ Chlodwig, I will never give up
on our love, never, ♪
326
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:15,468
♪ never, never, never, never. ♪
327
00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:19,505
[bagpipe blast]
328
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:20,539
Thank you.
329
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,173
[tepid applause]
330
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:26,278
[slap]
331
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,413
M. C.: Uh, uh--
332
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,481
[bagpipe moaning]
333
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,550
That's uh, that's gonna be
a tough act to follow.
334
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:31,917
Agnet: Did you--
335
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:32,952
[all gasp]
336
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,188
love the love song
I wrote for you, my prince?
337
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,924
Would you like
to get married now?
338
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,894
- Not now,
not ever Agnet.
339
00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:44,029
Agnet: Oh, fluffy stuff.
340
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,365
If there is one thing a maiden
in a tower must learn
341
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,633
it is patience.
342
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,034
You have to kiss
a lot of frogs
343
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,137
before the frog you want
wants to marry
344
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,271
[slap] you.
345
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,973
- You kiss frogs?
346
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:58,611
Agnet: A maiden must do
what a maiden must do.
347
00:12:58,612 --> 00:12:59,044
[gasp]
348
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:01,780
[magical sounds]
349
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:02,982
Gretta: Chlodwig!
350
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,350
Dwight: He's a frog!
351
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,785
[ribbit]
352
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:07,887
- One kiss from me
353
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:11,023
and he will be back
to his handsome self,
354
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,992
and much more ready
to get married.
355
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,261
[ribbit]
356
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,529
[ribbit]
357
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:19,732
Agnet: [gasp] No,
no, no, no, no.
358
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:20,766
- Chlodwig!
359
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:21,467
Agnet: No! No!
360
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,635
He's my prince!
361
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:27,506
No! No!
362
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,041
He's mine.
363
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:31,076
[ribbit]
364
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,645
Chlodwig!
365
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:33,812
My love!
366
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,615
Gretta: Chlodwig!
367
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,484
[thump]
368
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,051
[ribbit]
369
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,152
Dwight: I am so sorry.
370
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,387
Are you okay?
371
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,522
[girls fighting]
372
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:47,993
Mr. Dale?
373
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:48,928
[crow caws]
374
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,796
Mr. Dale: Do you see that crow?
375
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:51,897
Gretta: Chlodwig!
376
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,332
Dwight: Yeah.
377
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,235
Mr. Dale: So,
you would say it's real.
378
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,237
It's a real crow!
379
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,905
Dwight: Mr. Dale, are you okay?
380
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:04,176
- It's following me,
everywhere I go.
381
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,611
I have to get home.
382
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,279
It's almost dark.
383
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,449
And I have no idea what
happens when it's dark.
384
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,650
[cawing]
385
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,819
Dwight: Uh- huh.
386
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,454
Mr. Dale: We have tampered
with dark forces
387
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:21,427
that will be our undoing.
388
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:21,961
[ribbit]
389
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,229
Agnet: Oh! Dang it!
390
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,863
Give me my Frogwig back.
391
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,266
Gretta: You do not seriously
intend to kiss this?
392
00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:29,501
[ribbit]
393
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,803
- Ew.
394
00:14:30,804 --> 00:14:32,905
Chlodwig:
Off with your foul lips!
395
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:33,572
- But I--
396
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:34,506
Dwight: Look,
397
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:35,341
I think what Chlodwig is
trying to say is--
398
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,909
Chlodwig: I find you hideous.
399
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:37,710
Dwight: It's not you.
400
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,978
Chlodwig: It is you.
401
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,379
Dwight: He's just not looking
for a relationship right now.
402
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,947
Chlodwig: Because
you are grotesque.
403
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,249
Dwight: If he's being
completely honest,
404
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,950
he's not into girls
that put his life in danger.
405
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:45,818
Chlodwig: Especially
406
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,186
when they are
heinously disgusting.
407
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:47,686
Dwight: Stop.
408
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:48,721
Close your mouth.
409
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:54,159
Chlodwig: Honestly,
I tried to be nice.
410
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,263
Dwight: I hope
that makes sense, Agnet.
411
00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:01,900
Agnet: Of course.
412
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,603
My prince wants
to be the hunter,
413
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,171
not the prey.
414
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:09,675
[door opens]
415
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:13,679
Dwight: [clears throat]
416
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,913
- What's amiss?
417
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,450
- Note.
418
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,785
My darling Chlodwig,
419
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:23,756
I have gone to orc territory
to meet certain death.
420
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,924
Chlodwig: Orc territory.
421
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,192
Dwight:
That's a bad place, right?
422
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,260
- Mm-hm.
423
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,963
Dwight: Know that
my final thoughts are of you,
424
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:32,931
Agnet.
425
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,135
Ouch.
426
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,070
Chlodwig: Orc territory is vast.
427
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,938
Who knows
where she could have gone.
428
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:43,409
Dwight: Oh, it looks like
she drew you a little map.
429
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,149
Dwight: How will we know
we're in orc territory?
430
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,351
Maybe a sign or something?
431
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:53,619
[a man singing]
432
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:54,853
Gretta: Sh.
433
00:15:54,854 --> 00:16:08,600
[man continues
to sing in Italian]
434
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,169
[thwa-a-ang]
435
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,036
- Who goes there?
436
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,038
[birds calling]
437
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:16,942
Principessa,
and the champion boy.
438
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,410
Could it be fate?
439
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:18,911
Gretta: Uh!
440
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,379
Dwight: Hey, hey,
441
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,680
hey.
442
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,482
Jacopo, how you been man?
443
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,917
Chlodwig: You know this villain?
444
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,285
- Who do you call villain?
445
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,786
Gretta: You did try
to steal my throne.
446
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:28,954
Dwight: That was
a long time ago.
447
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:32,891
- I admit I tried and I failed.
448
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:35,160
I am bound by the rules
of chivalry.
449
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:36,962
Chlodwig: And by the rules
of chivalry,
450
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:40,232
release me from this tree,
I am a prince.
451
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:43,602
- Oh, why such a rush, eh?
452
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,903
You are too tense.
453
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,773
Your face is squished
like an angry little pig.
454
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,908
- How dare you, peasant!
455
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,944
- Fortune smiles
on the patient soul,
456
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:53,812
does she not?
457
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:58,751
Now, here we are,
together once more,
458
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:02,821
but this time, I am ready!
459
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:08,494
Ha!
460
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,661
Dwight: Dude.
461
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,130
You've been practicing.
462
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:15,167
- Sì.
463
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:16,735
Grazie.
464
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:20,239
Chlodwig: Enough tomfoolery,
out of the way, juggling jester.
465
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:27,446
Jacopo: I do not jest,
piggy little prince.
466
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,147
Chlodwig: Ha!
467
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:28,614
[metal clanking]
468
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:35,721
[grunting]
469
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:39,458
Jacopo: I demand a rematch.
470
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,592
Dwight: Can he do that?
471
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,794
Gretta: By the rules
of chivalry,
472
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,896
Jacopo can demand
a single rematch.
473
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,464
Agnet: Help me!
474
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,665
Jacopo: What was that?
475
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,868
Chlodwig: With any luck,
a maiden being roasted by orcs.
476
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,636
Dwight: Dude!
477
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:51,637
- What maiden?
478
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,572
Agnet: Hello! Anybody?!
479
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,740
- The little blister,
480
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,942
I have half a mind
to let the orcs do their worst.
481
00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:59,178
Jacopo: What kind
of prince are you?
482
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,313
A damsel cries out
in distress.
483
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,047
- Pfft.
484
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:02,881
- [sound of shock]
485
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:03,682
Dwight: So...
486
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,683
Agnet: Anybody?
487
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,585
Dwight: Jacopo,
are there any rules of chivalry
488
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,720
about a damsel in distress?
489
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:09,688
- Hundreds.
490
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,056
- There's no higher
expression of chivalry
491
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:14,426
than to give aid
to a damsel in distress.
492
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:14,960
- Sì.
493
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:15,828
Agnet: Anyone!
494
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,162
Help me!
495
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:19,665
Gretta: But Prince Chlodwig
could easily save her.
496
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:20,599
Chlodwig: Ugh.
497
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,433
Dwight: Yeah, we're right
in the middle
498
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,202
of this bottle flip
rematch thing,
499
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,203
it's kind of important.
500
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,037
Gretta: Very important.
501
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:25,437
Dwight: Yeah.
502
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,473
Agnet: Help!
503
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:28,774
Help!
504
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:29,508
Help me!
505
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,410
- [grunt] The bottles can wait!
506
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,412
I will save the damsel,
507
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,647
you may go home,
pig-faced prince.
508
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,615
[Agnet screams]
509
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,383
Chlodwig: Pig- faced prince,
halt at once,
510
00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,953
that is my damsel
and my rescue!
511
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,187
Jacopo: No, she is mine!
512
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,256
I call the dibs!
513
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,092
Agnet: Somebody help me!
514
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:49,995
[grunts]
515
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,063
Chlodwig: [growls] Agnet!
516
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:52,865
- Chlodwig!
517
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:56,535
Jacopo: Have no fear, maiden,
I have come to rescue you.
518
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:57,236
Agnet: Hurry!
519
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:58,437
The orcs are on their way.
520
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,005
Chlodwig: And the earth
is a big blue ball
521
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,940
circling a big yellow ball.
522
00:19:01,941 --> 00:19:02,908
Dwight: Uh, Chlodwig--
523
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:05,344
Jacopo: I will have you free
in but a moment.
524
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,945
Chlodwig: I was here first,
you scully.
525
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,614
- You are a brute,
526
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:12,284
not worthy to rescue a maiden
so beautiful as she.
527
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,920
- [chuckles] Thank you.
528
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:16,855
- I will rescue
whatever maiden I choose,
529
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,258
beautiful or otherwise.
530
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,260
- Oh, I would like
to see you try.
531
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,262
- How in the world
did you hoist yourself up
532
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,463
in this net?
533
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:25,898
- I didn't.
534
00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:26,965
- What do you mean?
535
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:29,268
Agnet: Well, I intended to tie
myself to yon tree
536
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,737
and wait for my prince
to come rescue me.
537
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,938
Jacopo: [background] your
squealing voice.
538
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,740
Chlodwig: [background] Oh
yes, he--
539
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:35,674
- Of course you did.
540
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,809
Agnet: But then I stepped
in this trap.
541
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:38,977
Gretta: Orcs.
542
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,580
- Let a real man save
the fair damsel.
543
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:45,551
Chlodwig: No one saves
the fair damsel but I.
544
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,186
[grunts]
545
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,256
- But how can you
when your nose is bleeding?
546
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,691
- My nose is not
bleeding, I don't--
547
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:53,458
Ah!
548
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:57,763
[thump]
549
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:58,497
[metal ringing]
550
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,065
Chlodwig: You blaggard!
551
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:03,268
Jacopo: Beautiful maiden,
behold your rescuer!
552
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:06,505
[fighting noises]
553
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,975
Agnet: Oh kind sirs,
I pray you do not fight over me.
554
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:10,742
[metal ringing]
555
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,277
Stop it.
556
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:13,579
Stop it, I say.
557
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:14,580
[fighting noises continue]
558
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,983
Stop it.
559
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,552
Stop it.
560
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,119
Stop,
561
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:21,620
stop,
562
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:23,221
stop it, I say.
563
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,158
[laughing]
564
00:20:26,159 --> 00:20:27,359
[thump]
565
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,996
Jacopo: Here is a squeal.
566
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:36,468
- Oo.
567
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,605
Jacopo: Signorina bella,
you are safe now.
568
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,340
Dwight: I don't know
about safe.
569
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,874
Gretta: The orcs that set
this trap will be here
570
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,409
at any moment.
571
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:48,313
Jacopo: Then, fly away with me,
572
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:48,880
[kiss]
573
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,116
dolcezza.
574
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:58,223
- Anywhere, my prince.
575
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,891
- Come marry me.
576
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,628
Agnet: Oh, you are so noble,
577
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:03,996
so chivalrous,
578
00:21:03,997 --> 00:21:04,896
and that accent.
579
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,565
- Oh, what about my accent?
580
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,899
Cara mia.
581
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,134
- [squeal and giggle]
582
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:12,471
Hurry my prince,
we are on a schedule today.
583
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,339
Jacopo: Goodbye
baby-faced monkey,
584
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:17,309
say hello to the fat man
and my favorite wrinkly lady.
585
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,678
Dwight: Will do!
586
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,279
Gretta: They are perfect
for each other.
587
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:21,980
Dwight: Right?
588
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:27,386
Chlodwig: I give it six months.
589
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:28,253
[laughing]
590
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,222
Chlodwig: My next song
will be a ballad
591
00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:32,557
about my many deeds of valor.
592
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:35,861
I've just written
the first verse.
593
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:37,596
Dwight: Oh, no, no!
594
00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:43,669
Um, don't spoil it for us.
595
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,170
Baldric: [sigh of exhaustion]
596
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:46,872
Gretta: Oh! Baldric!
597
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:47,706
Dwight: Hey.
598
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,807
[Baldric grunts]
599
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,376
Dwight: How did your
magician's guild assembly go?
600
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:54,212
Baldric: I know now
why they only hold it
601
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:57,683
once every five hundred years.
602
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:58,684
Oh.
603
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:04,423
Oh, ah.
604
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:09,327
Mm.
605
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:12,230
[crow cawing]
606
00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:27,179
[spooky music]
607
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:30,816
[spooky music]
608
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,017
[metal ringing]
609
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:36,221
- Show yourself, pretender.
610
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:46,898
[footsteps]
611
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:49,968
Aldred: I am bound
to obey a tovenaar summons,
612
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:53,638
but you are no tovenaar.
613
00:22:53,639 --> 00:23:07,552
I am the only remaining.
614
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,187
- No more.
615
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:10,188
♪♪
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