All language subtitles for Laies.of.the.80s.A.Divas.Christmas.202.720p.WEB.h264-BAE

♪ December comes ♪

♪ it brings a joy
I can't explain ♪

♪ though years may change

♪ the christmas spirit
always stays the same ♪

♪ it's christmastime
(christmastime) ♪

♪ and the magic
is in the air ♪

♪ oh, it's christmastime
whoa, whoa ♪

♪ you can feel it
everywhere ♪

♪ oh, it feels so right
(it feels so right) ♪

[alex] more snow. A little bit
over here, please.

Yep. Keep going.
We need--

We need lots of snow. Think
winter in like, michigan, okay?

What's happening?
Where did it go?

You're standing on the hose.

Oh. [laughs]
problem solved.

And this tree,
I'm just not a fan of it.

Maybe we just move
it a little bit.

And then we--
yep. Okay.

Just, can you deal
with that please?

Christmas tree is ready!

Careful!
This is a rental property.

Unfortunately, the network
budget doesn't allow us

To pay for damages.
It comes out of my salary.

And as a writer/producer,
it's not much.

Fascinating. Tree?

Looks great.

Canceled long-time, popular
daytime soap opera,

The great lakes, is getting
a little holiday reprieve.

Known for their annual
family yuletide episodes,

Tgl will air live for one
episode on christmas day,

Reuniting some of the show's
lake family characters.

And who could forget
moments like these?

How dare you? [slaps]

How could you go? [slaps]

Go to hell! [slaps]

And you, too. [slaps]

Hawk is my man!

Well, he wasn't last night.

[slaps]
[screams]

[slaps]

[screaming]

[water splashing]

[screaming]

Oh, yes. Oh.

That last one
packed quite a punch.

No wonder rumor has it that one
of the stars won't be returning

Due to her long-running feud
with her former costar.

Hmm, well, next up,
we'll meet the creators

Of an a.I. Christmas.

[phone ringing]

Oh, jeffrey, why couldn't
we film in new york

Where we shot the series?

'cause alex said
it would be cheaper

Since most of the ladies
live in southern california.

I swear, if it wasn't him,
I would never spend christmas

In this wretched town.

All this sunshine,
it's unnatural.

But what would the finale
be without you?

The stepmother of
the lake sisters.

Stepmother, please.
I look as young as they do.

Well, maybe not dana.

I mean, what is she doing?
Monkey glands.

Listen, you are more
than just the stepmother.

You are the center
of the series,

The very foundation.

Oh, I love the ears,
but you need to make them

Less pointy, more elfy.

-Excuse me.
-Oh, I'm sorry.

I was talking to an elf. I'm
setting up for my holiday party.

Where were we? Continue.

"the great lakes" and how I am
the center of the show.

Mm-hmm. And you have the
five emmys to prove it.

Baby, I earned
every one of those.

You know, people love to put
down soap acting,

But learning all those pages of
dialogue every day

And no retakes.

I mean, it's like putting on a
whole new live play every day.

Which is why you went on
to win two tonys on broadway.

It would have been three
if patti lupone had just

-Kept her promise and retired.
-All right, you know what?

I bet it's gonna be a lot of fun
seeing the old gang again.

I just hope they haven't heard
any rumors about my situation.

Not a chance. I squashed
all of the internet chatter

And kept the press out of it.

Besides, the only thing anyone
will be gossiping about

Is the feud between
dana and juliette.

[chloe] mom, nobody still cares
about your silly squabble.

It's ancient history.

It wasn't silly.
And believe me,

It was more than
just a squabble.

I know. I've seen the
barbara walters interview

About a zillion times.

I didn't tell barbara
everything. I couldn't.

And there--there were
certain things that even

Juliette doesn't know.

[chloe] it's really too bad

She's not gonna be there
this weekend.

This would have been the
perfect opportunity for you two

To finally bury the hatchet.

Oh, that's unlikely.
She won't even speak to me.

[chloe] I thought you were
the one not speaking to her.

In the beginning. Yeah,
but then when I thought the

World was going to end in y2k,
I reached out to her.

And she never called me back.

I hope people don't
think I'm the reason

She's not doing the show.

Come on, mom. You're america's
sweetheart from a hit sitcom

Who in real life
adopted five children

From war-torn countries.

You're practically
mother theresa.

Mother teresa.
I love it.

Me as mother teresa.

Do you think we should pitch it
as a biopic to lifetime?

It's not too late to change
your mind and do the finale.

Honey, we have been over this.

We have too much on
our plate this week.

We've got the launch
of the new shoes

And the handbag collection.

Mom, you know I can
handle the launch.

And we both know you're
not going because

You're scared of seeing dana.

That is not true.
I am past it.

I have nothing more
to say about it.

But come on.

I mean, we started
on the show together.

She took me under her wing.

She was like a--a mother to me,
a sister. We were--

We were roommates. I mean, we
were practically inseparable.

Then you know what she did?

She left me for la.

She just disappeared, without
as much as an explanation.

Glad to see you're
past all that.

Just because you are my son does
not mean that I won't fire you.

Hmm.

[computer ringing]
oh, saved by the zoom.

Konnichiwa mina-san.

Oh, I like those prop cookies.

Here, take that for me.
Thank you.

Excuse me!
You can't park there!

[sighs]
I didn't order a food truck.

-Alex!
-Nell?

Are we hugging?

Yeah. Hugs.
Come here.

You look good!
You smell great.

Cinnamon rolls and coffee.
My uncle offered me his wheels

Since he's not working
during holidays.

You know, and I'm kind of
in-between cars and jobs,

-And boyfriends.
-Oh, hmm.

That was too much information.
You did not need to know that.

Sorry, I'm talking so much.

Nervous habit,
not that I'm nervous.

No, no, it's an awesome habit.

It's one of the many things
I've always loved about you.

I'm stoked you're doing so well
now as a writer and producer.

And I'm stoked that you're
available to direct this.

And to be honest,
I'm surprised that you

Actually accepted my offer
since you had that latest buzz

From your short film
at sundance.

You knew my film
went to sundance?

I may have googled
you once or twice.

-Hmm.
-Yeah.

Well, let's just say that
I was happy to direct this

And make some magic
with you again.

Yeah. I was hoping so.

Man, it is so good to see you.
What's it been like?

Five years, three months
and four days to be exact.

Not that I should remember
or that I confirmed the

History on my icloud.

Ah, you look--you look the same,
older, but um, the same.

I'll take that as a compliment,
I think.

No, no, I just meant
that you matched the vision

That I had of you. You know,
from our heydays in college,

When you were my
handsome leading man

In my widely-acclaimed
student film.

You likely have that vision
because we watched it like,

A million times in the edit bay.

Well, that too.

I also have clips of it
in my director's reel.

But you know, it's not every day
that someone gets a child actor

To star in their movie.

A soap star child actor,
a little better.

Okay, but honestly,
you are really talented, alex.

Like, really talented.

You know, I was shocked
that you just quit acting

And left school like that.

Sorry. Look at me,
talking too much again.

[sighs]

This is awkward.

Awkward, awkward nice.

No, more like awkward
that I downed an entire

Pumpkin spice coffee on the way
here, and I really have to pee.

Oh, dear. Straight
through to the left. Yep.

Hmm.

[music]

Are you checking me out?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm not. No, no.
I'm not looking at your butt.

No. I just mean, um.
Oh, my gosh. Wait, wait, wait.

So I remember how you used
to decorate that

Little christmas tree in
your dorm room

And the little star
you put on top.

The one that my
mom made me, yeah.

So I figured since you're
away from her and your dad

For the holiday and making
your hit christmas tv special.

Well, it would be a nod to
your mom as watched from home.

-You made this?
-I did.

I equally thought it
would illustrate the

Thematic five points
of the christmas star,

Representing the five
ladies reuniting.

You hate it?

No, not at all.

It's--it's beautiful.
Trust me, it's beautiful.

My mom would love it.

But about the thematic parts,
um, I meant to email you.

Unfortunately,
juliette isn't coming.

Yeah, yeah. Business commitment
she can't get out of.

Oh, that's a bummer.

Well, are the other women here?

Any minute. After working with
them for many years on the soap,

I know their every need.

I strategically scheduled
them in 22-minute intervals.

Alex, darling.

Let the dames begin.

[music]

[bell dings]

Lily...
You're here.

Oh, sorry.
I came directly from borneo.

You building another acting
school for impoverished girls?

Major philanthropist, this one.

Actually, it was
"celebrity survivor".

But trust me, helping
lisa vanderplum

Use a bamboo outhouse is the
definition of charity.

Lily, I'd like you
to meet our director,

One of my old college friends,
nell.

-Oh, a female director?
-Mm-hmm.

Fabulous.

I promise the shoot will
go easier than "survivor".

That must have been grueling.

Bad news, lisa got dysentery.
Good news, I got a private hut.

Now I'm gonna take
a look around the house

Because the first rule of
reality tv is whoever shows up

First snags the best bedroom.

And you know what? I know that
the shoot is only this weekend,

But I bought a couple
of extra outfits.

[whistling loudly]

[music]

A girl has to have options.

Oh, and text me
when it's cocktail hour.

I will.

Good times.

[music]

[phone chimes]

[phone ringing]

Hi, honey. Everything okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a call that you left your
credit card at a restaurant.

Oh, no. How silly of me.

Well, I should go back
and get it.

No, no need. I canceled it for
you, but it was at place called

Burgers and fries.
Is that you?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.
I had to use the restroom.

And they don't let you
use the restroom unless

-You're a customer.
-Well, it was for $25.

Oh, yeah. I uh--
I bought coffee for the crew.

Um, honey I gotta go.
45 seconds left for my call.

Okay. I know how prompt
you like to be.

I don't wanna be a troublemaker,
especially after I sent him

That long list of
dietary restrictions.

I mean, you know
it is christmas.

You could have a cheat weekend.

I couldn't. I have to look
good for keto con in January.

Honey, I really have to go.

Okay, okay. Bye. Love you.

Love you. Bye.

[music]

[music]

Thank you so much for doing
this. I really appreciate it.

Oh, please. I'd do anything
for my wayward son who was

Carried by my conniving sister,

And then abducted by an evil
cartel and held for ransom.

And don't forget the six months
I was possessed by the devil.

How could I? I won one of my
emmys for that exorcism arc.

Yes.

Boy, I am so proud of you.

Really, mr. Big-time producer.

More like
mr. First-time producer.

Well...

Once this is over I'm gonna
introduce you to some of my

-Prime-time contacts.
-Oh.

But in the meantime,
you have to do something about

Your social media presence. I
mean, you have three followers.

You gotta do something about
that. Come here. Come on.

Smile.

No, it's wonderful.

-The ladies.
-Oh, step-mummy, is that you?

Oh, my god.

The ghost of christmas past.
Look at you.

You haven't aged a bit.

What about the two of you?
You look as glorious as ever.

How is harry and the kids?

Oh, how many do you have now?

Are you in angelina jolie
and mia farrow territory yet?

Five. Same number
as your husbands.

-Shrew.
-Slut.

-Hag.
-Cow.

Oh, I've missed you so much.

Oh, we're gonna
have so much fun.

Not without your
long lost sister.

You always do know
how to make an entrance.

-Look at you.
-Oh, stop.

Nell!

Coming. Coming.

Ladies, now that
you're all here,

I want to introduce you
to our director, nell.

Hi.

-Lovely bone structure.
-She seems perky.

Terrible wardrobe.

Female forward of him
to hire her.

Okay, ladies, nell is incredibly
talented, and honestly,

We are very excited to
have her on this project.

Oh, actually, I'm the lucky one
to be working with you ladies,

All legends in your own right.

And, of course, alex,
whose writing really pops.

It's so witty and smart,
and yet relatable.

Are you two an item?

-No.
-No. No.

Um, friends from college.
Best friends from college.

Well, I mean, back then.

Best friends with benefits?

No, no, no, no,
nothing like--

It is a strictly a professional
engagement, ladies.

No, I've hired nell because
she's amazingly talented.

-You said that.
-I did. Right.

I-I-I mean, uh, she-she is
wonderful and awesome.

And I trust her. And, you know,
I really like working with her.

-We do well together.
-We gel. Gel well.

Is he blushing?

I think he's blushing.

Anyhow, I'm very excited
to work with all of you,

So please let me know if you'd
like to chat about anything

Regarding the direction
I see for the special.

Yeah. In the meantime,
have a look at the first draft

Of the script and I'll go over
the schedule for the weekend.

You have a couple of hours to
relax, and then we will be doing

The people magazine photoshoot,
break for dinner,

And then the rest of the night
is all yours.

Rehearsals tomorrow morning,
followed by lunch,

-Vegan options available.
-Thank you.

And then we'll have about an
hour break while we set up for

Hollywood tonight interview.

Rest, recupe, regroup.
And that brings us to our

Christmas morning
live broadcast.

This is gonna be great,
the four of us together.

Oh, yes.
Give me a second. What?

[music]

Nell! Nell!

Um, can you show these women the
rest of the house for me, now?

[juliette] knock, knock.

[sighs]

She's back.

Fasten your facelifts, ladies.
It's gonna be a bumpy weekend.

-What is juliette doing here?
-I don't know.

Really? This isn't some kind of
ambush to boost the ratings?

No, it's not.
I wouldn't do that to you.

Then who did?

Dana, dana, wait.
Juliette, hi. I'll be back.

Wheel over the liquor cart.

Christmas tea ain't
gonna cut it today.

Dana, wait. Please.

Look, I had no idea
she was coming, honestly.

Well, then what the hell
is she doing here?

She had a change of heart.

That's odd.
I didn't think she had one.

Do you really want
to get into this now?

Honey, I wanted to get
into this 20 years ago,

But you wouldn't speak to me,
remember?

Why was I worried about
missing the holidays

When we have boxing day
right here?

Maybe we should all
get some fresh air.

I'll lead you all
on a gratitude walk.

Or not.

Okay, ladies.

I know juliette being here
is a surprise to all of us,

But the good news is the
viewers are gonna love to see

The famous five reunited.

Well, that's exactly why
I wanted to do the show

For our fans.

Oh, really? For the fans?
It has nothing to do with

The money you're gonna make
from your product placement?

Please tell me
they're not leather.

-Of course not.
-Oh, thank god.

-Alligator.
-No.

Alex, I really hate to hit
you with this right now,

But if she's doing the show,
I'm not.

Well, I'm doing it.

I'm gonna go upstairs and pack
my suitcase and call my car.

Hasta la vista , bitch.

You know, if dana's
not doing the show,

Could I have her lines?

Oh, it isn't enough that you
take the biggest bedroom?

Well, if you want it,
you can have it.

Age before beauty.

Or let's just say
who has the most emmys.

Oh, that would be me.

I'm afraid I'm going
to have to go too.

This entire environment
is too toxic for me.

Well, I didn't go off
and leave my family alone

For the holidays to hang
out with a nest of vipers

With substandard accommodations.

So I'm sorry. I'm going to
have to call my agent.

I postponed business meetings
for this.

What a waste of time.

Juliette.

You know, how about
if you rewrite the script

And my character suffers from
multiple personality disorder?

And I play all the parts?

It was worth a shot. Lily out.

[doors slamming]

[music]

[music]

Are you telling me there's no
one in the office until January?

No, no. This is an emergency.

I have a photoshoot
that's happening today.

[dial tone]

I am so disappointed.

I thought this was going to be a
fabulous few days of camaraderie

And female empowerment

Like the ayahuasca retreat
michele lee took me to.

Are you doing your
deep breathing?

Yes.

How about your tapping?

Of course.

All right.
How about your chakras?

Unblocked and aligned.

Oh, pete, I need to come home
once I'm charged up.

Well, you sound like you're
pretty charged up already.

Not for another 10 minutes.

You know, while you wait,
why don't you chill?

They must have a steam room or
something there. Right, honey?

Okay. Good idea.

Oh, I thought I had instilled
some values in these ladies,

But they are fighting
like children.

[sighs] jeffrey, is this
what happens to people

When they move to hollywood?

Okay, bottom line it for me,
margaux.

What do you want me to do?

First flight out, first class,
first row.

How about the red eye, coach?

You can wear a big hat
and sunglasses.

No one will recognize you.

Is that the best
you can do for me?

Well, sadly, on your budget?
Yes.

You know, if sebastian
weren't already dead,

I would strangle him for
draining my bank account.

And how could I
have been so blind?

You were in love.
Next time, just shack up.

You know, don't get married. Oh,
and keep separate bank accounts.

Do you want my two cents?

Yeah, apparently
I could use them.

Just do this for the paycheck.

Oh, and to spend the
holiday with your pals.

They could be good to lean on
through all this mishegas .

No, no, no, no. They can never
know. The girls can never know.

No one can ever know this.

That would destroy
my reputation.

What if I use my miles and
upgrade you to an exit row?

Oh, jeffrey, that's so sweet
of you. Thank you. Thank you.

This is why I have stayed
with you all these years.

That and the fact
you're the only one

-Who would work pro bono.
-Who's working pro bono?

Hey julie, do you have a sec
to talk? It's really important.

Oh, hi hun. No, I'm about
to about ready to go in

For a dress rehearsal
for tonight's show.

Do you need to book some time
for your christmas reunion show?

Actually, I don't think
there's gonna be a show.

Oh, hun. What happened?

Five divas, one mansion.
You do the math.

Oh, I thought this was
gonna be my shot.

You know, finally prove to the
world that I can really act.

I mean, I took an under five
secretary role

Into replacing dana before
and after her vampire bite.

And what do I have
to show for it?

An arc on for the people.

For the people?
I don't remember that series.

Nobody does.
Shonda rhimes' only flop.

Is this about not
winning an emmy?

No.

Yes.

Why am I the only woman in our
group who hasn't been recognized

By the academy?

You have 15 nominations.
Honey, more than any other

-Daytime actor ever .
-But no wins.

[julie] what about
the time you were--

Being slimed on the
nickelodeon awards

Doesn't count!

Really, honey, we have talked
about this. An acting career...

It's not a competition.
It's not about winning awards.

It's not about hair or makeup,
or wardrobe.

It's about doing the work.

And you have crushed that
nonstop for years.

You're right.
I have.

Thank you, julie for always
keeping my priorities straight,

Even when I'm whining.

Oh, but do I have to give
juliette's shoes back?

Oh, my gosh. My calves
have never looked better.

It was insane that I came
here in the first place.

And I thought maybe in
the spirit of the holidays,

That she would let
bygones be bygones.

Okay, did you tell her that?

What's the point? I mean,
if she could leave me when

I needed her most, then how
could I ever trust her?

I mean, I was so young.
I was newly engaged.

I should have been the
happiest in my life.

And you know what she did?
She stole it from me.

Not a bad icebreaker, but maybe
a little less accusatory.

Point is,
just start the conversation.

Yeah, well,
that's not gonna happen.

Not this christmas anyway.

[music]

[sigh]

[chloe] I know that sigh.

There are just no words.

[chloe] that's the problem.

You two are both too proud
to have a real heart-to-heart.

Ouch.

Sorry, I know losing
that series still stings.

Well, hart to hart was the
best series I was never in.

And it really is too bad. Rj and
I had such great chemistry.

But if I had gotten that role,
I wouldn't have had the success

That I had with the aarons,
spelling and sorkin.

Or your success at
avoiding the subject.

Why can't you just stop
juliette before she leaves?

You may never get an
opportunity like this again.

[music]

Okay. Bye.
Love you.

Maybe we just cut our losses
before this turns into

-An even bigger fiasco.
-Alex, this is your baby.

You were the one that
convinced the network

To film the reunion
show in the first place.

Exactly. So I need to
take full responsibility.

I'm just sorry how
this is gonna affect you.

Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine.

But how will it affect you?

It will probably end my
writing/producing career.

[chuckles] I forgot how easy
it was to talk to you.

Well, I mean, you could
have gotten a refresher

If you called.

I didn't think you
wanted to hear from me.

-Because you ghosted me.
-I didn't ghost you.

[phone chimes]

It's the publicist asking
me how the ladies are doing.

And if they arrived.

Look, I know I owe
you an explanation,

But now's not really the time.

Okay, let's just focus
on the show and how to fix it.

You're right. Okay.

Well, all I know for certain
is that you aren't letting

The ladies of the 80s down.

I mean, if anything,
they're letting you down.

I mean, arguing about
a fight that happened

A million years ago.
It's ridiculous.

What do I do? Are you gonna
cancel the photoshoot?

Tell the network that
the christmas reunion show

Is a bust?

The ladies aren't
speaking to each other.

They're making plans
to go back home.

Look, let's just go check out
the rest of the house.

The ladies, are they
always that dramatic?

[alex] oh, yeah.
I should have expected it.

[music]

[music]

Everybody, just take a seat.

No, no, no.
Leave it open a crack

Just in case I have to make a
quick escape.

-You're good at that.
-Okay, this is not helping.

And could make
this fast, please?

My car is gonna
be here any minute.

Fine. I called us all
together to have this meeting

Because when I was
in the steam room--

Wait, there's a steam room?

I guess I could leave
a half hour later.

I accidentally overheard
alex and nell.

-Making love?
-No.

Well, they should be. I mean,
those two belong together.

Anybody can see that.

Aren't they the cutest?

They were not making love.

They were talking about us.

-Oh.
-And not in a good way.

Oh.

Alex doesn't like what
we are doing to the show

Or to his career,
whatever is left of it.

It was alex's idea
to bring us back

For a live christmas finale.

He put his job
on the line for us,

And then us leaving is
gonna ruin the show

And ruin his career
at the same time.

So...
Now what?

I've been thinking.

Ladies, I think we're about
to be roped into something.

[margaux] oh, here we go again.

I'm still paying for that
circus elephant rescue mission.

Like you were saying.

I was thinking maybe we
could pretend to get along

Through christmas day. Do you
think that we can manage that?

Of course, it's possible.
We are actresses after all.

No problem for me.
I once sold being romantic

With rodney dangerfield
in a tour of love letters .

[laughing]

[recording] your call is
important to us.

Thanks so much for holding
and merry christmas.

You are not going to believe
what the ladies are doing.

-A quintuple homicide?
-Scarier. Come see.

The girl on the phone in the
office said there's no one

In the office until January,
but she was in there and

I heard a guy in the background
coughing, so there's definitely

Someone in there. I think she
was telling little fibs to me.

You're never gonna believe this.

[laughing]

Wow!

-I'm gonna go tell him.
-Okay.

[instrumental
deck the halls ]

[turns to rock intro]

♪ oh, oh

♪ yeah ♪

♪ the past is in
the rearview mirror tonight ♪

♪ livin' like the best
is still to come ♪

♪ group's back together
and they know what they like ♪

♪ 'cause ladies just
wanna have fun ♪

♪ wanna have fun

♪ sassy when they talk,
sexy when they walk ♪

♪ they're younger than
they've ever been ♪

♪ they're gonna strike a pose
so everybody knows ♪

Merry christmas.

♪ divas making history ♪

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ livin' it large
minute by minute ♪

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ it's their world
and we're just livin' in it ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ all eyes on them
no matter where they go ♪

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ always putting on a show

[electric guitar solo]

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ and they're always
putting on a show ♪

Well, it looks they're
all getting along

-And we got a show.
-Yeah.

Now, I just need to rewrite
the script to reflect that.

You got this.
You write the scene,

And I'll coordinate the
hollywood tonight interview.

Okay. Yeah.
You're the best, buddy.

[laughing] hmm.

And he just called me buddy.

I guess we're staying
in the friend zone.

[keyboard clacking]

[margaux] and on the next
episode of the great lakes.

-I just can't do it, girls.
-Oh mom, you must.

You can't put it off any longer.

We're only thinking
of your happiness.

You missed so much
of your life

While you were
recovering from that.

No! What am I thinking?

One lady can't have all of the
lines. This--there'll be mutiny.

There will be mutiny.

I know.

Let's go with...

I just can't do it, girls.
Oh, mommy, you must.

You can't put it off any longer.

You know we're just thinking
of your happiness.

You missed so much
of your life

While you were recovering
from amnesia.

No! Amnesia?

It's too overdone.

Okay.

You missed so much of your
life while you were recovering

From that brain tumor.

That's too serious
for christmas.

You missed so much of your life
while you were recovering

From that vampire bite.

Come on!

[music]

[music]

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were in here.

-I couldn't sleep.
-Oh, me either.

I thought you'd be happy since
I gave you the master bedroom.

-I thought so too.
-But?

But at the end, it's still
just a big empty room.

Oh, it must be so hard
since sebastian died.

Yes, things have been very hard.
I didn't realize how difficult

It would be being away from
my family this time of year.

What are you doing?

I always make sure my kids
wake up to the smell

Of their favorite traditional
english fruit cake

Wafting through the house,
just like my mom made for me.

So I thought alex
and nell would like it too.

Is there something I can do?

Sure. What are you doing up?

Well, I'm just a little
nervous about all of us working

Together again, so I came down
for a little liquid courage.

Oh, don't let those
ladies get to you.

You can hold your own
against any of them.

Well, it's not them
I'm really worried about.

-It's you.
-Me?

Do you know how intimidating
it was to work with you?

I mean, I was new on the show,
and you were already a legend.

So in every scene
we got to do together,

When it came up,
I was just so excited.

And at the same time,
incredibly terrified.

Well, it never showed.

You were the consummate
professional.

-How nice of you to say that.
-Nice? Me? [laughs]

Hardly. No, you would never
have lasted on the soap

As long as you did if you
didn't have what it takes.

-Really?
-Believe me.

I would have made sure of it.

I thought I heard
voices down here.

Are there any more of those
gingerbread cookies left?

I've been craving
a midnight snack.

Oh no, don't eat those.
Those are the prop cookies.

You'll break a veneer.

Do you remember how we used to
love to come to set and meet up

With the craft service table,
swapping war stories?

Especially at christmas.
Everything was so delicious.

We didn't have to pay for it.

Yeah. Back in those days,
we could eat anything we wanted

And not worry about
gaining weight.

Thank god for
intermittent fasting.

Paleo here.

Mediterranean diet for me

In-between bouts of
rare tropical diseases.

You want me to whip you
something up?

Oh no, that's all right.
Thank you.

I'll have some fresh fruit in
the guise of brandy, oranges

-And cinnamon.
-Cinnamon, here it is.

Just for you.
There you go.

Oh, how I have missed
the beautiful

Mulled holiday wine of yours.

You know, I'm so glad that
you came back for the finale.

The only time I get to see you
anymore is on your infomercials.

I know.
They really keep me busy.

Oh, and they should.
I'm totally addicted.

I bought three pair
of the wedge sandals.

They're like walking on a cloud.

Okay, well, just us girls here.

Tell us why you
decided to show up.

I mean, given all the bad blood
between you

And the other blonde
who shall remain nameless.

I really don't wanna
go there right now.

Well, um...

You could twist my arm.

-Okay.
-Dish.

Here we go.

[bells jingling]

Well, it was my son who
talked me into coming.

He wouldn't let it go. He just
kept coming at me with it.

It was even worse than
the 12 hours of labor

That he put me through.

-He thinks I'm a workaholic.
-Darling, you are.

Well, I know, but I wasn't
always that way.

You know, back in the day,
I was a bit of a party girl.

And when I wasn't at home
learning my lines and,

You know, I liked to go dancing.

Like at studio 54 with
andy warhol and diana ross?

No, that was a little
before my time,

But dana and I used to love to
go to limelight and the area.

I mean, we went absolutely
everywhere together

Until she went awol.

You know, it was really hurtful.
I...

I shut down and just put
all of my energies and emotions

Into my work, but there was
always something missing.

I'm sorry, this is not
a festive conversation,

But I hope that you
both keep it private,

Especially from the blonde
who shall remain nameless.

I think we're gonna
need another bottle.

Way ahead of you.

I can't tell you how
nice it is to be here

With old friends again,
and especially girlfriends.

I couldn't agree more.

This is exactly
what I was visualizing.

Nightcap?

What are the ingredients?

It's 100% booze, honey.
That's all you need to know.

And way too much sugar content.

I'll just stick
with my bubbly water.

What shall we toast to?

How about the fabulous
acting job we all did

Today at that photoshoot?

Wonderful acting because
it actually looked as if

We were all still very close.

Especially juliette. You know,
if I hadn't known better,

I would have thought that you
and dana were still besties.

Yeah, well, that's where
my method acting training

Came into play.

[laughing]

To my three fabulous daughters!

Oh god, more like
sisters really.

And not just because we're so
close in age, but because...

No toasts without the
other blonde

Who shall remain nameless.

The kitchen vent goes
right up to my room.

Would all of you mind if I
filmed this little gathering

And then posted it to my story?

When did you become
so media savvy?

These days you have to be.

Because of social media,
I have a whole new fan base.

I have more
friends and followers.

You couldn't even imagine.

Real friends or online friends?

Does it matter?

I'm happy.
They make me happy.

Isn't that what friends are for?

No comment. And on that note,
I think I will be off to bed.

Goodnight, ladies.

Oh, don't go. We have to figure
out how we can all be together

In the same room.

Sort of look at it as a
rehearsal for the grand finale.

Oh, that'll make great content.

Okay. Oh, and don't worry. I'll
put on a very flattering filter.

Okay. Go ahead. Toast. Action.

Yes. To my four
fabulous daughters.

To the girls you were
and the women you have become.

Aww.

♪ o christmas tree
o christmas tree ♪

[nutcracker slams]

♪ how lovely are your branches

[nutcracker slams]

♪ o christmas tree
o christmas tree ♪

[nutcracker slams]

♪ how lovely are your branches

[nutcracker slams]
nell!

Are you all right?

Yeah, I am. I'm okay.

Did I wake you?

Do we look like we just woke up?

Seems like someone
needs our help.

This is about alex, isn't it?

Uh, why would you think that?

Something about the way
you cracked that nut.

-And how you look at him.
-And how he looks at you.

-Alex looks at me?
-Oh, dear god.

We don't have time for this.
Let's just cut to the chase.

There is more between you
two than this history of being

Best friends in college.
Am I right?

Yes. No. I really--
um...

I really shouldn't be talking
to you ladies about this.

You have to make it happen.

Oh, give her a break.

Affairs of the heart
can be complicated.

-Give us the back story.
-The back story?

You know, you, him,
an affair, an argument.

No, I mean nothing like that.
No.

Seriously, sweetheart,
we don't have all night.

Okay. Story short.
We made movies together.

We became inseparable.
And he finally kissed me.

It wasn't just any kiss.

It was like romeo and juliet
style kiss.

And then the next day,
he dropped out of college.

He quit acting, and he texted me
once to say that he was sorry.

So let's just say that the kiss
was much better for me

Than it was for him.

And this all happened when
he dropped out of college?

The bottom line is
there's nothing. Okay?

I mean, he's just a colleague.
That's the end of the story.

I am just going to
let these feelings go

And take back falling for him.

Oh, honey, that is not
how l'amour works.

You don't always get to
choose who you fall for.

Listen to her.
She's had five husbands.

And I wouldn't trade
any one of them.

Well, maybe that last one.

That is another story
for another night,

And another bottle of wine.

We all know alex.
He likes you,

But he's a little closed.

And when men are closed,
they need a little nudge.

Yeah, to get past
that friend zone.

Ladies...

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

That exterior is not working.

And the interior,
not working.

Sweetheart,

You need some diva.

Ladies, let's spell it
out for her.

Determination.

Integrity.

Vitality.

And aspiration.

And tomorrow, honey,
you belong to us again.

[music]

[music]

Alex, you need to sleep.
No, you need to write a scene.

You need to finish the scene.

You...

You need caffeine.

Yes. No. You need nell.
I need nell.

[breathes deeply]

Okay. Hey nell,

I'm in my office writing.

Can you come and find me
when you have a minute?

[music]

No.

They've gotta go.

Waiting.

That's it? You have to give
it more of an effort.

And since we're not
on the slopes of aspen,

You could start by getting
rid of that ski cap.

-No, no--
-I'm concerned with

What might be
growing under there!

Ooh, wow. I can see that you
like to play with color.

That's good.

Think I should
add another shade?

Uh, no.

I can't hear you.

I said I'm not an actress.
I don't need to talk all fancy.

No, you said
[speaking gibberish].

-What?
-Exactly.

It's not about talking fast,
it's about making yourself

Understood and getting
your point across.

And does alex have a clue
how you really feel about him?

I don't know.
Whatever.

Okay, well, I think we're
gonna have to approach that

From a different angle.

No, no, no, no, no. Forget it.

If you think you can do it,
then you can.

You sound just like your books.

-You read my books?
-I did my homework.

[music]

What is it that you really want?
A, casual fling.

B, serious dating.

C, traditional trajectory
leading to marriage.

It all just sounds
so calculated.

Can't it just happen naturally?

Yeah!
No.

Thank goodness.

Okay, let's talk makeup.

Project from the diaphragm.

Mah, may, me, mo, moo.

Just use your inner voice.

Inner voice is saying
to take a nap.

I can't say this to alex.
It reads like a spreadsheet.

That is why you are going to
put it in your own words.

[music]

Nell, where are you?

Oh, very nice.

Better.

Very nice.

[blowing kiss] exquisite.

Amazing.

Bravo, bravo!

Aww.

Our work here is done.

Stunning.

Hey alex, can you talk?

[music]

I, uh...

[music]

Sorry. Um...

What was I saying?

I'm not sure.
You didn't say anything yet.

Right. Yes. Um...

Oh, I was looking for you.

Um, and I wanted to brainstorm.

With--us brainstorm to--later.

And then maybe
we can get dinner.

And-and then we could eat.
And maybe brainstorm.

And-and...

Go through the script together.

-I'd love to.
-Great.

But I can't.

Remember, you wanted me to do
that interview with tommy.

Tommy?

From "hollywood tonight".

You arranged it earlier.

Right. [clears throat]

He asked if we could
grab a bite and do it.

You know, so we can talk
freely and be out of the house

And not bother the ladies.

Yeah, of course.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I just wanted to
tell you before that--

[glass shattering]

Oh, no.
That's our hero ornament.

That's an exact match
from the original show

That the daughter gave to her.
What am I going to do now?

Just rewrite everything
because that's broken?

I won't have time for that.
And what are you doing?

You're eating that.
This is set decorations.

-That's him.
-For the movie.

Do you understand that?
Set decoration. Cannot eat.

He was eating out of this before
and it was on the ground.

And guys, I told you.

Do you know how many hands have
been in there? It's disgusting.

[sighs]

[music]

All right, you ready?
Let's do this.

Mr. Chow's, here we come.
[laughing]

[music]

[music]

Oh no, performing live
isn't scary at all.

On the contrary,
it's quite exhilarating.

After all, we've all done
theater.

And in this case, we'll actually
get to the see the audience's

Response as it happens
in the chat rooms.

Speaking of online,
we've got one last question.

And this one is
from fayealtman338.

She wants to know what your
favorite christmas memory is.

I have one.

Our first christmas in new york.

It's when we first
met for the show.

Remember that huge snowstorm?
The city was shut down.

It was a winter wonderland.

There was a three-month
garbage strike.

All those bags covered in snow.

[laughing]

And then margaux invited us
to her apartment

On central park west.

Well, I was not gonna
let you ladies be alone

And away from your families
on such a special day.

Well, it was the first time I
ever tasted british fruitcake.

I mean, my mother never made
anything like that in texas.

Everything was deep fried,
including the butter.

And dana and I were living
together in that uh,

Fourth floor walk-up
in the east village.

With the bathtub in the kitchen.

Oh, my god.
It was frightening.

[dana] oh, lord. We were just
you know, starting out.

We were totally broke.

Yep, pinching pennies.

And wondering if we were gonna
last on the soap opera.

You did way more than last.

I mean, you all turned humble
beginnings into epic careers.

And you're more than just family
to each other, right?

It's all of us,
the audience as well.

And we are so fortunate to have
you all for one last christmas.

Tomorrow live.
I'm gonna be there.

I know you're
gonna be there, too.

All right, cut. Let's get back
to the studio and get this cut

For tonight's show.
Ladies, thank you so much.

It's been a pleasure.

And as they say in the theater,
break legs.

Amazing performance, ladies.
You were all incredible.

Thank you so much.
It's gonna be stellar pr.

-Great job.
-Thank you.

-You always do.
-Now, listen--

Oh, just look at
the two of them.

The reflection of the light.

Some chemistry.

You think they have chemistry?

Mm.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

Yeah. [laughing]

-Can we talk, privately?
-Can you give me a second?

No, no, no. It's important.
It's about the show.

Okay. I'm sorry.

It's all right. It's all right.
I'll text you later.

Okay.

And good luck with
the show tomorrow, buddy.

It should be a good one.

Hmm.

-What's going on?
-You and tommy.

What are you two
like, dating now?

Look, I don't think
it's appropriate to

Mix business and pleasure.

First of all,
we're just friends.

And second of all,
what's not appropriate is

You telling me how to behave.

-I'm your boss.
-Not of my life.

No, no.
I didn't mean it that way.

Okay. What way did
you mean it then?

Nell, come on. I just meant that
we have a lot of work to do.

And you should maybe focus on
the job and me, and not him.

Focus on you and not him?

Has anyone ever told you
that you're the most confusing

Person on the planet?

[music]

And maybe you should
ask yourself

Why you care so much, anyhow.

[music]

Men, so predictable.
Jealousy works every time.

[laughing]

[music]

[nell] okay, why don't we
take it from the top of

The scene again?
Here we go.

And...
Action on rehearsal.

Decorating the house together
after having a wonderful meal

Really brings back such
great memories, doesn't it?

It certainly does. How I have
missed this annual tradition

While I developing our
company's products in

Underdeveloped countries.

Well, thankfully, helping
those less fortunate

Is part of our mission
statement.

Mother, be careful up there.

Remember your fatal
fear of heights? Acrophobia.

Oh...

[screaming]

Oh!

Are you okay?

Well, I could use another
cinnamon stick for my tea.

Great work, lou.
I'm good if you are.

Back to one.
Fantastic rehearsal, ladies.

You now have time to rest
and go over your lines

For the dinner scene.

Nell and I are going to do a
quick casting for the houseboy,

Which doesn't involve
any of you.

-Very considerate.
-I think I'll go for a walk.

[man] background's here.

[music]

♪ santa, I'll be waiting
by the christmas tree ♪

♪ santa, I'll be waiting,
what you got for me? ♪

♪ I've been about as good
as I can be ♪

On second thought...

You could probably use our
expertise in casting.

Wait for mommy.

I'll join you.

[ding]

Yes, but wouldn't you
like a drink first?

Mm, perfect.

I'd expect nothing
less from this family.

That's so sweet.
Could I serve you some salad?

The tomatoes are
from our garden.

I can't tell you how much joy
it brings me to see you girls

Welcome your sister into
our home on christmas.

And why wouldn't we?
She is one of the great lakes.

In the spirit of saint nick,
welcome to our long lost sister.

Thank you, larissa.

I'm so happy you're able
to stay through new years.

That'll give us time to catch up
on each other's lives.

I know.
I missed you so much.

We really should get
together more often

Than just the holidays.

Can we just hold up a minute?

Is something wrong?

No, no, everything's fine.

Why don't you ladies
just take a break.

Yeah, I may need to
adjust some words.

But you haven't even
heard the whole scene.

Um...

Let us talk.
We'll be right back.

You don't think the
lines are working?

No. They're not working.

Well, we've got to find
a way to make them realize

That deep down they really
care for one another.

I mean, the audience totally
wants them to get together.

They do.

They do.

It's just hard sometimes
going through one's baggage,

And then sharing it.

Sometimes it's good
to unload the baggage

And clear up miscommunication.

So you can follow your heart
and take it where it leads you.

Exactly.

I know what to do.

-You do?
-Yes. It's so obvious.

I should have done
it a long time ago.

Then go for it.

A reconciliation scene
between dana and juliette.

You know, if we can have
them make up on the show,

Maybe it'll help them
to make up in real life.

Thank you so much
for the inspiration.

I'll go write a few pages. And
I'll be back in, like, an hour.

Good luck.

Who needs luck when I have you?

[music]

[sighs]

[music]

[christmassy music]

Maybe we should just stay out
of it and trust the universe.

-Oh, screw the universe.
-Margaux's right.

We have to do something.
Those two belong together.

-I can feel it in my bones.
-Then take some calcium.

Oh, I'm sorry. Whenever I'm in
soap-acting mode, I get bitchy.

There's got to be a way we can
put alex and nell together.

It has to be fast.
We don't have much time.

Well, a lot can happen
in 24 hours.

Or less. I met francisco
getting on an elevator.

And by the time we got
to the top of the eiffel tower,

I had my fourth husband.

[laughing]
that's my girl.

-Of course, you did.
-Of course, I did.

Alex better still be awake.

[woman] if you love someone,
let them know and let them go.

[knocking on door]

Who is it?

Your work moms.

Yep.

Are we disturbing you?

We hate to bother you,
but can we talk?

Is there a problem
about tomorrow?

The wardrobe?
The dinner scene?

You already approved
the special lighting.

This isn't about us.

It's about you and nell.

Okay.

We made you some
hot mulled cider.

-Oh.
-And I made you some brownies.

-Mm. Wow!
-There was a little rum in it.

You don't say?

Honey, we thought you needed it.

You seemed a little tense, so we
thought this would relax you.

Yes. In case you wanted
to talk about anything.

What would you like me
to talk about?

You and nell.

What about us?

Alex, please. You know, at some
point, you're gonna have to

Let those walls come down.

And we think that nell might be
the perfect person to help you.

Look, I hurt her.

We had something special back in
the day, and then my mom died.

And then everything changed.

Yeah, it did.

We still connect, but I just
think I'm a little too late.

And did you see the way
she was looking at tommy?

Uh-uh.

Looks like you've given up
on the game

Before you've been
dealt your hand.

What do you mean?

She means that collectively
we have had numerous lovers,

Boyfriends and husbands.

I kissed a girl in college once.
I'm an ally.

And therefore, we know a little
bit about relationships.

Okay. I feel like I'm going
to get advice

-Whether I like it or not.
-Have we met?

All right, fine.

Let me have it.

Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

♪ go wild in the night time

♪ go crazy
so crazy ♪

♪ go wild when the moon shines

♪ go crazy
so crazy ♪

♪ blow out like a hurricane

♪ you can't stop me
you can't stop me ♪

[loud indistinct chatter]

[music]

♪ on the twelfth day of
christmas ♪

♪ my true love gave to me

♪ twelve drummers drumming
eleven pipers piping ♪

♪ ten lords a-leaping
nine ladies dancing ♪

♪ eight maids a-milking
seven swans a-swimming ♪

♪ six geese a-laying

♪ five golden rings

♪ four calling birds
three french hens ♪

♪ two turtle doves and
a partridge in a pear tree ♪

Oh, the best quasi-moms a
child actor all grown up

Could ever ask for.
I love you ladies!

[music]

[music]

Lauren?

My name was on the box.

Well, I know it is because
those are my gifts to everybody.

I thought we'd open
them together later.

Sorry.

You're just like a little kid
on christmas morning.

Here, let me get
these crumbs off of you.

Is there something
you wanna tell me?

What is it?

What's going on?

I'm ready.

I love junk food.
I can't help myself.

-I am a total fraud.
-No, you're not.

You're just a normal
human being

Who's being way too
hard on herself.

You have no idea
how exhausting it is

Living up to the image that I
created by myself.

Everyone thinks that I'm just
so damn good all the time.

I don't know how
gwyneth paltrow does it.

Chasing an impossible ideal?
I hear you.

I mean, is it not our flaws
that make us beautiful?

Says the woman who is never seen
without full hair and makeup.

That's exactly why I've been
toying with the idea

-Of doing a completely new look.
-And what would that be?

-I can't tell you.
-Sure you can.

No. Then I'd have to show you.

Well...

Oh, my god.

All right.
Hit me with your best shot.

No, no, no.
You look radiant.

Oh, you should wear it
on the show that way.

-Really?
-Yes.

Oh, just think about what kind
of statement you could make.

Just freeing yourself
from the color bottle.

Or the billions I could make
from launching my new line of

Hair care products.

Over fifty, in shades of gray.

How would you feel about
being my spokesmodel?

Honored.

Merry christmas, everyone.

[all] merry christmas!

Not you. I'm doing the christmas
cameo. Shh! Do it all again.

Merry christmas, everyone.
Especially you, cindy lou.

I know you're a big fan of my
show, so I'm going to sign off

Exactly the way maggie
signs off each week.

I wish you good night
and good news.

Whoo, okay that's done.
What'd I miss?

[gasps] oh my. Wow!
That's fabulous. I love it.

Thank you. You're just
in time for gifts.

-Oh, swag from the network?
-No. Snacks from me.

I found these fabulous chocolate
covered pretzels in solvang when

I was doing "celebrity chef."
and I thought of all you guys

Because they're really sweet,
but a little bit salty.

[laughing]

I feel terrible.

Oh, that's because you
ate all yours already.

-What?
-She did?

Yes, I ate them.
Just don't hate me.

I don't hate you.
I love you.

And I love you even more now
that you're not miss perfect

All the time.

Yes, you've made us
all feel like heathens.

Finally, we can relax. We don't
have to worry about what we eat.

No, thank all of you
for making me realize

That perfection isn't necessary.
Moderation is.

The title of my next book:
Mindful moderation.

-Since we're giving gifts--
-whoa.

I want you to be the first
to receive

My new cashmere
christmas scarves.

-Oh.
-What do you think?

Do you like them?

-Ooh.
-Wow.

-Nice.
-Thank you.

And no goat was harmed in the
making of this apparel.

Oh, thank you.

Okay, well, my turn.

I want each of you to have
something from me.

What are you doing?

Ooh, what?

Something important to me.
Well, to the old me.

-Margaux, what are you doing?
-What are you--

That's too extravagant.

I can't accept this!

Oh, I can't either.
I mean, it's way too expensive.

Actually, actually, they are not
expensive at all.

They're all costume jewelry.

What?

Yes. I haven't worn the real
thing since sebastian died.

Aww.

Because I had to sell
all my priceless pieces

To save our house.

Oh, no.

Because...

He embezzled all my money.

Oh.

[margaux] oh, please.
You're all sworn to secrecy.

I mean, you're the only people
I've told besides my team.

Even my kids don't know.

-Margaux, you poor thing.
-Yes, literally.

Is there anything
we can do to help?

You already have.

You know, you ladies have been
with me through thick

And trying to stay thin.

And now I don't have to
pretend to keep up appearances

With you anymore. And there's
such a relief in that.

-Oh, honey.
-Oh.

Dana...

Come on. Join us.

Uh, there's something...

I want to get off of my chest.
It's a--

It's a gift, sort of.
It's for juliette.

The rest of you might benefit
from what I have to say.

Is everything okay?
Can I check your tongue?

I'm fine physically.
Emotionally, maybe not so much.

Uh...

Harboring a secret
like this for so long,

-It takes its toll.
-Well, spill it, honey.

We can handle it.

[dana] well, you all know
that I left the show,

But you don't know why.

The real reason.

Well, you all know that I left
the show suddenly, but juliette,

I know you think I gave up our
friendship for my career.

But the truth is, I gave up
my career for our friendship.

I'm not sure I understand.

I left new york.

I said I was going off
because hollywood was calling.

Well, hollywood was not calling.
Nobody was calling.

I had to basically start
my career all over again

From scratch,
pounding the pavement,

Knocking on doors,
going on under five auditions

With every blonde in town.
It was...

It was humiliating.

Why'd you leave?

I made a mistake.

A big mistake.

And I didn't know
how to tell you,

So I just took the
coward's way out and...

I skipped.

Just say it.

I slept with your fiancee.

-What?
-When?

Why?

Because I was young and stupid.
And drunk.

It was the party after we shot
the christmas episode. Joe...

Then...

[sighs] I'm sorry.

That's um...

-Oh, wow.
-[dana] I know. I know.

If you want to slap me or punch
me, or whatever you want,

Just do it.

Actually, I'm glad
you never told me.

You are?

Yeah, I would've
never married joe.

Or given birth to
the love of my life.

I was young and stupid, too.

I was blind to his faults,
his affairs,

Which there were many of.

And that's why
we ended up getting a divorce.

I'm so sorry you had
to go through all that.

Don't be.

I don't regret it at all.

[crying] my only regret is that
I didn't have my best friend

For all those years.

[music]

[both crying]

Wait a minute.
I think I slept with him, too!

[laughing]

Wait a minute.
No, it was on the show.

I was given such silly
storylines that

It all began to blur.

[alex] ladies of the 80s,
half an hour till showtime!

-Half hour!
-What do you say, ladies?

Let's go out there
and kill this.

Yes.
And not each other.

[laughing]

"the great lakes".

[cheering]

[music]

All right, ladies.
Are we ready?

We're live in five,
four, three...

Once again, you have created
a wonderful holiday, mother.

It is amazing that you found
time in your busy schedule

Running the company to prepare
all of this beautiful food.

You've really outdone
yourself with this, mummy.

I wanted to make sure
today was extra special

Because it's our last
christmas together.

Is there something
you need to tell us?

You have been acting a bit odd.

Are you feeling all right?

Have you had some unsettling
news from dr. Maroney?

On the contrary, dr. Maroney
gave me a stupendously clean

Bill of health, so I decided to
spend less time in the office

And more time
traveling the world.

And I have decided to step down
as ceo of the company.

So I'm divvying up all
my shares four ways.

Four?

But you have
three stepdaughters.

Who's the fourth?

It's your long lost
twin sister

Who I had cloned
and then gave up for adoption.

I was gonna tell you
all about it on our

Family vacation to the maldives,
but that was before we were

Kidnapped and held captive

By that evil clan of cannibals.

Delilah, would you come in?

Oh, well.

And cut!
Great job, everyone!

[laughing]

Why the face?

-The comments in the chat rooms.
-Not good?

No. People think they're being
too nice to each other.

Some say boring.

Apparently, they want insults,
fighting, a bitch fest.

Thank you.

[sighs]

-All right.
-What's wrong?

-We're bombing.
-What?

-The audience is not happy.
-How do you know?

I learned to read lips when
I replaced anne bancroft

On broadway in
the miracle worker .

You know, if the audience
isn't happy, it's over.

So is alex's career.

I thought we were doing great.
We were bonding together.

Well, apparently
that's the problem.

They don't want a love fest.
They want a bitch fest.

It's our job to give the
audience what it wants.

And I can't think
of five bigger bitches.

-I'm game if you are.
-Let's do it for alex.

-What are we gonna do?
-There's nothing we can do.

We're on in a minute.

Yeah, have more like 45 seconds.

[clears throat]

[nell] places.

We're back in five,
four, three, two...

Delilah, come in
and meet your sisters.

Oh, well. Hmm.

Well, it looks like I've arrived
just in time for dinner.

Yes, but wouldn't you
like a drink first?

[music]

It has a cheap aftertaste

Just like all of you.

Oh.

Don't you dare talk
about us like that!

Well, I don't think that she was
referring to the rest of us.

Just you, my dear sister.

[music]

Oh, my god.

Girls, girls, girls.
Now just because your long lost

New found sister is a vulgar,
deceitful gold digger,

Does not mean you get to behave
this way on christmas day.

Oh, mother, please.
We all know about the affair.

The alien son that you birthed
who's also in hiding.

Now we have just had
enough of these secrets.

[music]

[laughing]

Are you okay? Or would you
like a little whipped cream

To go with that pie?

Oh, you ungrateful little
wretched stepdaughter!

-Ha!
-Ooh.

[laughing]

No!

[music]

No!

[screaming]

[music]

[music]

[cheering]

They liked us?
I mean, really, really liked us?

It was better and bigger than
anyone could have expected.

I don't know how you
ladies turned it around.

Well, you don't
achieve diva status

Without knowing exactly
what your fans want.

Well, whatever you did, it
worked. The viewers loved it.

The sponsors are thrilled, and
the network is over the moon.

Oh, and thank you, alex,

For bringing all of us
together again.

-Yes.
-Right?

And thank you for giving us
the best christmas show ever.

Not to mention the
best christmas ever.

Aww.

I'm gonna miss you all so much.

Please, it won't be long
before we're together

In the virgin islands on our
valentine's day girls' trip.

Yes. Having our poolside board
meetings for our new nonprofit.

Your what?

Well, you know how
we're all involved in

Entrepreneurial activities?

Yes. Well, we decided to create
our own nonprofit together.

Mm-hmm.
It's our way of giving back.

We are going to call it
the diva's foundation.

Focusing on underserved women
of a certain age

Who could use a little help from
women who know what it's like.

Hey, you know what?

Let's take a picture for
our new social media site.

-Oh, good idea.
-All right.

Okay, um...
Red carpet poses?

Oh, yeah.

[alex] ready?

All right.

Three, two, one.

[all] merry christmas!

[laughing]

I think I got it.

Now, go get her.

[music]

-Hey.
-Hey.

[music]

This is for you.

-Oh.
-For a keepsake.

Thanks for the gig, alex.

Maybe we'll do this again
in another five years.

Yeah.

Nell, wait.

-I want to tell you something.
-I'm listening.

Come here, please.

[music]

Alex.

Come on. Follow me.

That kiss...

Five years, three months...

Six days.

Our kiss.

It was epic.

Romeo and juliet epic.

-It was.
-Yeah.

You know, I didn't leave
and ghost you

Because I didn't like you, nell.

I left because [sighs]...

I left because my mom died.

I'm so sorry, alex.

I didn't tell you she was sick

Because it was just too hard to
imagine the unimaginable.

And when she died...

Part of me died.

Regardless of the reasons why--

I hurt you.

And it's been the
biggest regret of my life.

Oh.

I've loved you since the very
first moment I saw you.

I loved your purple hair,
your blonde hair,

Whether it was short or long.

Sneakers, heels, whatever.

Just you and me.
We fit.

I don't know what to say.

Except...

O romeo, romeo, wherefore art
thou my christmas day romeo?

[music]

Ladies, we did it.

Aww.

[music]

[music]

After the incredible ratings
for the live

Christmas episode
of the great lakes,

The network has
reversed its decision.

And not only isn't
canceling the show,

But will now stream it live

Making it the first
reality soap opera.

And get this,

All five of the popular
actresses will be returning.

We are so happy for them,
especially for lily marlowe

Who's a shoo-in to nab a
well-deserved daytime emmy

For her brave
gray-haired performance.

Now, I can't think of a better
way to start the new year,

Can you?

[music]

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ livin' large
minute by minute ♪

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ it's their world
and we're just livin' in it ♪

♪ ooh, ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ all eyes on them
no matter where they go ♪

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ always puttin' on a show

[electric guitar solo]

♪ they're the ladies
of the eighties ♪

♪ and they're always
puttin' on a show ♪

[music]