All language subtitles for VL1938

I beg your pardon, I'm looking for Mr. Keith Morgan, have you seen him?

We haven't seen anything but Morgan since Monday, this way sir.

Well Keith, I hope I'm not troubling you too much.

Why, professor, you sound a little bitter.

Now, we have very little time. Come on, you'll have to hurry.

Sit down Peter.

Can't sit there, that's her chair.

Now Keith, you realize what time it is? You have to go to hotel and pack.

You realize we have to catch a train for Old Sharon?

- No, don't you worry. - This is the, excuse me.

It's the last time I'm going to act as nursemaid...

for you when you come to New York on one of these semiannual frolics of yours.

I'm not going to budge from this chair...

until the girl I've just fallen in love with says she'll marry me.

Well, it's a good thing I found, excuse me.

I've sat here for 4 nights and I'll sit here 40 more.

Oh Peter, she's the most beautiful, exciting...

What? You aren't serious?

I am serious, you haven't any monopoly on seriousness.

Now Keith, the 4 AM train leaves at exactly 4 AM and I'm going to be on it and so are you.

Waiter, give this man his check. I'm going to get his hat, excuse me.

That's Old Sharon 242 and I want...

And reverse the charges on that.

I want to speak to Mr. Mr. Peter Morgan senior.

Yes sir, you don't find him at this number, try the university.

- He's president, you know. - Then what's Roosevelt do?

- ??Never dreams will loot at me ??- Hello, hello?

- Dad? Dad? - ??my life was struck with tragedy ??

- There's a number going on. - Well, I can't hear ma'am. Dad.

- ??You'd never guess... ??- Hello, I found him.

Oh, if you shout any louder you won't need that phone.

And what? No, I'm in a nightclub dad.

No, just don't get excited, I'm leaving soon.

What?

- No, it's a girl this time. - How is the mother doing?

Well, she's fine. What? Alright, alright, goodbye dad.

??It's a lonely memory ??

??So I'm forgotten and I'm all alone ??

??But when you dance with someone else ??

??And try romance with someone else... ??

??You'll be reminded of me. ??

??And when you look in somebody's eyes... ??

??The way you looked into mine... ??

??The memory of those little white lies... ??

??Will haunt you all of the time. ??

??So you've forgotten all the thrills we knew... ??

??But wait, the day will come to you... ??

??And when your heart is broken too... ??

??You'll be reminded of me. ??

??If you should ever think of New York after dark... ??

??And remember how we rode the hurdy-gurdy in the park... ??

??And later, as we strolled along you kissed my friendly hand... ??

??And on my finger slipped an 18 karat cigar band... ??

??You'll be reminded of me. ??

??And when you look in somebody's eyes... ??

??The way you looked into mine... ??

??The memory of those little white lies... ??

??Will haunt you all of the time. ??

??Go on forgetting all the thrills we ever knew. ??

??But wait-a, the day-a will-a come-a to you-a... ??

??And when-a your heart-a is-a broken-a too, you'll be reminded of me. ??

??And I'll be laughing, you'll be reminded of me. ??

Hey Charlie...

tell the fella at my table I've gone to my hotel to pack.

I want to put one over on him.

Let me know when he leaves, I'll be in here.

- Hello. - How you do?

- Where's Keith? - Oh, I wish I knew I...

Oh, you're, you're...

- What's the matter? - Nothing, nothing.

Say, what were you trying to do? Break me up?

Oh, when you were singing. Well, I fell over a cooler over there.

- I'm exceedingly sorry, I... - Well, don't be.

Some drunk does it every night. Oh, I don't mean that I think you're swacked.

I beg your pardon?

I said, I don't mean that I think you're tight.

Well, I'm not intoxicated.

- No kidding? - No, no. I'm just, just...

Well, the only way I can explain it...

When I was a small boy, we had one of the first automobiles in Old Sharon...

- and... - Oh, you live there too?

Oh yes, yes.

And one morning, my father was driving along and he didn't see me in the street.

He's rather absent minded about small details and he ran over me.

- It wasn't serious but it was quite a blow. - Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's just the way I feel right now.

We say it a little different, we say we feel like we've been hit by a truck.

- Oh, it's the same idea. - Yeah.

- Have a cigarette? - No thanks.

- Well here, something to drink? - No, I never use it.

- I couldn't get you anything to eat? - Yes, I believe I'd like something to eat.

- Oh, fine. - No, no, not in here.

- Food is terrible. - Well, then we, I mean, you, we...

Well, do you want to take me out or don't you?

Yes, I do, I want to take you out very much.

- Well, how about it? - Alright.

If you don't have to hurry home we might see some of New York.

Alright. Goodnight Charlie, I'm going to see New York.

- Has he gone? - Yes, he's gone but...

Oh boy, oh boy, did I give him the runaround. Boy, will he be sore.

Boy, did we get rid of him.

Say, where's Francey?

Say Oh, boy, did we get rid of him, but Francey went with him.

Oh boy.

He's showing her New York.

Oh boy.

- And it's so quiet too. - What?

- I said it's so quiet. - What did you say?

The only sound there is at night is just the wind in the trees.

- What did you say? - I said it's so quiet in Old Sharon.

Oh, I'd like that.

Did you ever stop to think how important the university really is?

Now that you asked me, I don't believe I have.

Well we, we worry about industry and business.

Oh, few people realize that it's really the schools that are responsible...

for the degree of civilization people attain.

- Say, what are you? - I, I'm a professor.

Well, not quite. Associate professor.

So when I see something like that university, it gives me quite a thrill because...

Because why?

Well, I'd like to tell you.

But I'm afraid you'll just think I'm bragging.

Well no, I like people who think they're good.

Well you see, my grandfather was president of Old Sharon university.

- Good night. - My father is president now.

And someday I'm going to be.

Oh, I assure you I've never talked this much before.

But I just realized...

I'm trying to make an impression.

Well, you could let me say something.

- I'd like to make an impression too. - Oh well, you don't have to say anything.

- No? - No.

You, you speak for yourself and very eloquently too.

Besides, wasn't I at the cafe tonight?

- Did you like my dance? - Well, you were singing when I came in.

Oh, you didn't see my dance, where I wear the little thing with the sequins?

- No. - Oh, I'm sorry, that's the best number I do.

- Well, I want you to see it. - Why?

- It's a great number. - Oh, is that so?

It's terrific.

- Sure you're good? - Sure, I'm good.

Now who's bragging?

You got me.

Well, I've missed the train.

- It's too bad. - Oh, that's alright.

One runs up there every day.

Goodbye.

- Goodbye? Well, why? - I live here.

Goodbye.

Hear, do you, do you think things out carefully?

- Things? Well, what things? - Just things.

- You mean small things or important things? - Oh, everything.

Well, if they're small things, I never do but...

if they're important things, I never do either.

Oh, I think you ought to think them out, don't you?

Because, because lots of times the small things develop into very important things.

Yes, but you just think things out and they happen anyhow.

Well, what, you mean there's some things you just can't control.

I don't think you can control anything.

- Hello. - Good morning.

Well how, good morning.

Well, if you aren't doing anything, would you have breakfast with me?

- Sure, where are you? - Right down at the corner drugstore.

- Would you give me 15 minutes? - Could you make it 5?

Alright 5, goodbye.

Where are my shoes? My brown shoes?

Good morning friend, we're having a little special we're pushing today.

A toothbrush free, all you have to do is buy a bottle of mouthwash.

Just taste this, no iron, no tin, no irritants, no...

He's brown hair, blue eyes, about 6 feet one inch tall.

- In his shoes or stocking feet? - Stocking feet.

I haven't seen him.

Beg your pardon sir.

Never mind, I found him.

- That's alright, thank you. - Keith, Keith, wake up now.

May I have the tickets?

Keith, may I use your drawing room?

- I'll buy you first... - Sorry, there's no more space.

- It's quite alright, I'll sleep right here. - Drawing room A, car 71.

Thank you. Would you...

Keith I, listen...

The most wonderful thing is happened.

I, some people would say it's just a miracle...

something that just happens once in a lifetime.

No one should care what people say, it's just small talk.

But there's nothing particularly miraculous about it Keith.

It's just a matter of chemistry, see?

- The anodes attract cathodes... - I know, don't tell me.

- You're in love. - No, no, I'm married.

You married a cathode?

- That's a funny name for a girl. - Take care of him.

- Her name is Francey. - Oh Francey? That's a very pretty name.

Francey.

- Hey, that's my girl. - Wait a minute boss, take it easy.

Hey, what you trying to do? Lose me?

Oh, no.

No, I'm never going to lose you.

You better not, only took a day to happen, I'm in love with you for always.

- Think you can stand it? - Well, I'll try.

You, you can move in.

What did Keith say?

- A little startled at finding me married. - I don't doubt that. Oh, do you mind?

You see, he and I, well, you mind if we go in alone?

- She has claustrophobia, afraid of crowds. - Yes, that's it, that's it.

Now I know I've heard everything.

Gee Pete, I've never been married before and...

- Frightened? - Frightened? No.

As a matter of fact I'm never going to be frightened again.

Now I have you, you're my wall to lean against.

Well, I've always tried to be a strong man, in a conservative sort of way.

Well, my big, strong and conservative man, you can get your shoulders ready...

- and carry me across our first threshold. - Oh no, Francey.

No, that's that's, people did that a thousand years ago, that's old stuff.

Beg your pardon.

Oh that's, that's alright buddy, I, I know just how it is.

- Well, just how is it? - Would you be quiet?

- Can't a man make a mistake? - Well, at least he could knock.

- Please I got to get out. - Isn't this drawing room A, car 71?

This is drawing room A, car 71, here's our ticket.

- But you see, we have one for this room. - What you're going to do about this traffic?

- I think... - Why don't you throw them out?

Will you shut up? Can't you see they're going?

No wait, we'd rather stay if you don't mind, so you see...

- we sort of plan using this room. - Then I'll get the conductor to do...

- what my husband is suppose to do. - Oh no, this is our drawing room...

and I won't budge, sit down Peter.

Good, good, I was wondering what we were going to do all night.

Right here, every time I take a trip with you something always happens.

- Oh, that's so. - And I guess when I don't...

take a trip with you something happens.

- You don't say? - Oh, you needn't smirk.

I know what I'm married to. You haven't fooled me, not for a minute.

- And I don't care. - Now look dear...

why can't you be a nice baby and keep quiet before I pin your big ears back?

You heard him, you're witnesses.

- I wish you had a mother to go back to. - I wish I had another husband to go back to.

Alright, alright, I'll get you one at the next station.

I bet when you grow up you're going to be a nasty old man.

Come on Peter.

There's plenty of room in the observation car.

- I guess she got frightened. - Frightened of what?

Another peep out of you and you'll sleep in the observation car.

- Old Sharon. - Yes, I know.

Francey, you better hurry.

Eh Peter...

Peter, what is a professor's wife have to do? I meant to ask you yesterday.

Oh, mostly just keep the professor happy, that's all. You ready?

Yeah.

Oh, you're going to like Old Sharon Francey, you're going to like my family too.

- And they're going to love you. - I hope so.

Never having had a family of my own I sort of have an illusion about one.

- Good morning Peter, hello Francey, - Keith...

what are you doing here? Oh, I remember, I married you.

- Ah no, wait now, she married me. - Ah that's alright, then we're cousins.

You and your cousins can use that drawing room now, if you want to.

Don't get fresh.

Hey, the old man looks kind of calm.

I thought he'd be pretty excited when he heard you were married.

I haven't told him.

- Oh, you haven't told him? - No.

Then save me 2 good seats on the 50 yard line.

And I'm going to tell him, tell him right away.

After all, I'm old enough to know what I'm doing.

It isn't as though I just ran off and got married or anything like that.

I, I thought this thing out very carefully.

If he has anything to say, let him say it to my face.

Peter, maybe I'd better go someplace and wait...

until you've had a chance to straighten things out.

You can come to my place, I have a very lovely place.

Then you could tell them how wonderful I am and I'd come over later.

- You know, I don't like that. - Don't you think I ought to?

- Maybe you better. - Come along, cousin Francey.

Oh, Francey, Francey, come here.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Goodbye? Goodbye? Wait. I'm going to be seeing you in a minute.

We'll be at my cozy little apartment, call us up sometime.

- Bring those 3. - Why Keith, is that phone of yours connected?

- Hi uncle. - Who is that blonde thing with Keith?

There he is. Hello darling, how are you?

- Who's that? - That's Helen, just the girl he's engaged to.

- Why, he's a bigamist. - Only in the second degree.

She's something the old man whipped up, you know, blue blood, black tongue, a thoroughbred.

- Come on Francey. - No, no.

Wait a minute, I got to give her the once over.

After all, I can't have my husband engaged just anybody.

Didn't know you were going to, hold dad, dad, I...

Don't tell me, I can see it with my own eyes.

I don't know why it is but every time I send someone to do something for me nothing happens.

- I sent you to New York to bring Keith home. - Yes. Well, I brought him...

Well, I didn't think you'd be weak enough to to allow him to bring that blonde with him.

Isn't that the girl you spoke to me about on the phone?

Yes, that's the girl, but that was before I...

- She's a very nice girl, dad. - You're 26 years old Peter.

When you were twelve I informed you and you still don't know one woman from another.

Well, this is a subject which doesn't bear discussing just now.

You may use the car and take Helen home. I have a board meeting at the university.

- Well dad... - Come on Peter, I know it isn't your fault.

I wonder if Keith's predatory instincts are inherited or acquired.

- Why? What do you mean Helen? - Well, he is allergic to blondes.

Every time he gets near one, he breaks out in a rash.

I'm afraid the only way to cure Keith is to send him back to the African bush.

Well, I trust him.

Oh Mr. Morgan, I want to thank you for everything you've done.

I've had such a wonderful time, I just break out in goose flesh all over.

- Did you ever break out? - Not lately.

I'll always think of you as my cousin Mr. Morgan.

Thank you again.

- Directly home sir? - Yeah.

Here, wipe your mouth before Joseph kisses you.

Goodbye.

Later, get some fluffy drapes for the windows there out of the cedar chest and get the...

bedspread for that bed there, get something to put over here.

You know, I want it to look very feminine, you know, very feminine.

- Oh hello. - Hello, Francey?

Oh, are you alright? What's Keith doing?

He's gone out for a few minutes. No, here he is now.

Oh Keith, you're wonderful.

Oh, you're a darling.

- Hey? - Oh hello.

- What's going on there? - Keith just brought a cake.

- Well now, what's all that noise? - Well, it's a wedding cake, listen to it.

- Oh, don't cut it before I get over. - No, we won't.

Say, you told your mother and father?

I say, you told your mother and father?

Oh, no, not yet, but I'm sure they'll take a reasonable attitude.

Really Mrs. Jones, your baby is no trouble at all.

She can stay here just as long as she wants to.

Look darling, couldn't you send Keith off on an errand for you or something?

Don't listen, come here.

Come on up a little closer.

Thank you dear.

Oh, just a minute Keith.

- Dad, I... - Finish your conversation.

- I had. - He hung up.

Helen probably popped in. I wouldn't worry about it, much.

You know Peter, the student council meets this afternoon.

As a member of the advisory committee you're going to be there of course.

Furthermore, we're having the usual spring difficulties...

between our male and female students a little early this season.

Too much fraternizing in the lockers.

And there's the prom tonight.

Dad, I want to explain to you about that girl.

I'm sure you'll be happy to know...

that I've decided to give it no more thought, as far as you're concerned.

- I'll take care of Keith in my own fashion. - Yes. Well dad, you don't quite understand.

- I insist on talking... - The subject is close.

The subject is not close, it can't be closed.

Well really, this whole matter is most distasteful.

Yes. Well, at the risk of proving myself a boor...

- I insist on talking about it. - I insist that you respect my wishes.

- I will... - I don't...

Father, Peter?

Your voices.

- Well, I refuse to be treated like an infant. - Don't shout.

Shouting is the effort of a limited mind to express itself.

Get her over to the bed. See what you've done?

Get the smelling salts, you know perfectly well that your mother can't stand excitement.

- I know, I'll get them right away. - Get them right alright.

- Get the smelling salts. - I thought so.

Here.

Oh mother, I'm so sorry.

- I didn't mean to upset you. - Oh, I'm alright dear.

- Sooner or later dad, I'll... - Haven't you done enough damage?

- I'm alright. - There we go.

Well, it...

Hello. Hey, hello.

Hello, Francey?

Darling, I haven't quite got this thing straightened out yet, but I have an idea.

Now, I want you to get all dressed up.

Be as beautiful as you are and get Keith to take you to the prom tonight.

Yeah, my folks will be there.

He wants you to take me to the prom tonight.

Why bore Francey her first night in Old Sharon?

Now Keith, now listen. I want her to be there to meet them when I tell them, you see?

That way it'll be much easier with all the music and the atmosphere...

and all that sort of thing, they're sure to love her.

I'll meet you in the locker room. Alright thanks, you stay out of the locker room.

Just a moment Mr. Morgan.

Oh, that's alright sir, who's the young lady?

She's my guest.

I'm sorry Mr. Morgan but you know this is a closed affair, students and faculty only.

Oh well, that's alright. She's a student Miss Francey Brent.

Oh yes, a student, yes, she's a student in my class.

- Botany, class 40. - Alright.

Yes, but what happen if they find out I'm not a student?

Keith and you are going to get in trouble.

I don't mind, one more in the WPA won't break the government.

Now, don't worry. Everything is going to be explained tonight,

- As soon as dad and mother get here. - Do you think I'll like them?

I mean, do you think they'll like me?

There's nothing like you ever happened to the Morgans before.

That's what I'm afraid of.

- Oh darling. - Oh Francey.

- Oh, but now Francey, sit right down here. - Yeah.

Take your coat off, mother and dad will come right through that door.

- Where did you disappear to? - Oh, hello Helen.

Helen I, this is, I'd like you to meet miss Francey Brent, yes.

Yes, she's with us now, she's a student in my class.

- Taking a postgraduate course. - How do you do?

Oh yes, I recognize you by your goose flesh.

Yes, it is nice having something that makes you stand out from the crowd.

Your platonic friendships are becoming a little irksome.

- Come sweet. - Yeah.

- Look, I'll be right back, excuse me Keith. - While you drown her.

Come sweet, who does she think she is? Why, I'll mow her down.

Not now.

- Hello Mr. Morgan. - How do you do?

Mrs. Morgan.

Good evening uncle Pete.

- Good evening aunt Martha. - Good evening Keith.

Keith.

Oh, I certainly made a fine impression, I think I'd better go home.

- Ah, it could've been worse. - Yeah, I might've hit him.

I hope he likes a spirited girl.

- Come on, we'll get this thing over with. - No, no, no, wait a minute. How do I look?

Where is Peter? I think I'd better go fix my face, Here, find this.

- The little girls room is right over there. - Alright, I'll be back.

- Oh Helen, excuse me I want to speak to dad. - No.

- No? No what? - No, I won't excuse you.

Well, why not?

Well because it's my dance.

And I think I'll start breaking you of any high heartedness you inherited from your father.

- Now listen, my dad is alright. - Louder, I didn't hear you.

Well, he's still alright. Excuse me, her fault.

Oh, what lovely sheer hose, where you get them?

I buy all my hose at Livingston's, fifth Avenue.

They handle only the best and I think in the long run it pays, don't you?

- Naturally. - To buy the best, I mean.

I wish we could get them here in town.

Or, why don't you send away for them? I do when I go to the south for the winter.

Have you a cigarette, eh?

- May I have a cigarette? - Oh, cigarette?

Oh yes. I have a cigarette.

- Oh no, I couldn't take your last one. - Go ahead, I can take them or leave them.

How is that?

Thank you.

Now, about those hose, I wouldn't send away for them if I were you.

You can buy them almost anyplace for at least 50 cents cheaper.

Really?

But just because they come from Livingston's, 5th Avenue you have to pay at least 25% more.

Besides, they run.

- We haven't met before. - No.

- Are you going to be with us? - I am.

- You're a new student. - That's right.

- Mrs. Morgan. - Yes?

Mr. Morgan, your husband says to tell you he's waiting.

Thank you Hattie.

And Mrs. Morgan, you better snuff out that snipe.

Oh, of course. Thank you. Goodnight my dear.

- I hope you're going to like us. - I was just going to say the same thing.

If my husband wouldn't let me smoke, I'd find me a way to get me a husband that would.

Depends upon which you enjoy the most.

- Keith, I just met Peter's mother. - Did you tell her who you were?

I didn't get a chance to but I think she's wonderful.

She is, she was my favorite aunt before she married my uncle.

Let's find Pete.

Yes, let's find him in a hurry because I've got the shakes.

My, it's conservative.

If she gets any closer to him, she'll be behind him.

Keith Morgan, what do you think you're doing?

Oh, don't you know honey? It's been with me for years, I'm mad about you.

Darling, give me a hunk of your neck to bite into, preferably around the jugular vein.

Peter, I don't mean to be prudish but the way you were holding that girl, is that the word?

Prudish? Well, as a matter of fact, she was holding me.

Darling...

would I be too much of a boor if I suggested you break off your engagement to that girl?

Well now Francey dear, the engagement is broken, there's no question about that.

Just she doesn't know anything about it but I just want to take one thing at a time.

Did you get your ring back?

- I never gave her a ring. - You don't have to bite my head off about it.

Oh no sweetheart, here we are quarreling in public and nobody even knows we're married.

We can't even quarrel in public just you won't tell them we're married.

On the other hand, if we want to quarrel in public why shouldn't we quarrel in public?

All married people quarrel in public, it's one of the nice things about being married.

- Well certainly. - Certainly.

Alright now, you sit here, I'm going to tell them.

- Oh, Francey I'm sorry. - Well then, why don't you tell them?

Well I, I just didn't mean to upset you.

I'm not upset about that. It's just, got the shakes.

I know I'm going to make a mess out of things, my mascara is running.

Well darling, you are shaking. Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.

They're just my mother and father, they'll understand.

- Then why are you shaking? - Eh? Sympathetic action.

Hold your breath and count 10.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, no use.

Alright, now...

go get them.

Alright, hold your head up a little there, there. Now don't move.

Till I'm coming back.

I wouldn't try that in a high wind, you might take off.

Keith, get mother, will you? And bring her right over there, I'll get dad.

I wonder if you could stand the shock of my saying that I dislike you intensely.

- Want me to go away? - Not before I had a few words with you.

You know Peter and I are planning to be married.

Oh, is that so?

Not that I think knowing that would make any difference to you.

Well, no.

You see Peter needs protection against a certain type of woman.

I could work on that.

Now, are you going to mind your own business or must I really give you a piece of my mind?

Oh, I couldn't take the last piece.

Now, what did you do that for? I'm only going to have to hit you right back.

Why, you contemptible little blonde, how dare you slap me?

You can't get away with that, who do you think you are?

There and that's not the only one.

It's plenty more where that came from and I won't be still, I won't, I won't, I wont.

How dare you? How dare you? You can't do that to me.

I won't keep still, I won't, I wont.

I just told you you can't do that to me.

Stop shushing me, I don't care who hears me, I don't care if the whole club hears me.

Alright, put them up.

So, you want to talk to the old man, eh?

Strong and healthy and yet he has to come to the old man.

Chip off the old block. Now, what is it son?

Is he too big for you?

Well, he can't lick both of us, can he, eh?

- You don't mind, do you? - Excuse me.

Now, don't tell me you got something up your sleeve, I can tell by that look in your eye.

Come on, out with it, out with it, give me up the truth.

Oh no, no, a surprise. I've sent Keith for mother, I want you both to be right here.

- Now, it better be good. - Dad, this is good.

- Well, it's, it's good Peter. - Yeah, yeah.

- Don't you think it's a little too rough? - Too rough, isn't it?

Now wait a minute, wait Francey, now wait. Wait, please.

Let me at her.

- No, no, tight... - Let me at her, let me at her.

Oh, take it easy with mother.

So Helen fouled you with a pin, eh?

Yes and behind my back.

Boy, oh boy, that fight had only gone another round.

- I've certainly made a mess of things. - Oh, don't be silly.

Helen was a mess long before you ever got to her.

Keith, what will happen to you if they find out I'm not a student?

- You'll probably lose your job. - We'll worry about that tomorrow.

I'll think something, in the meantime we'll just worry about tonight.

Make yourself comfortable Francey.

And anything you can't find you'll just have to do without it.

I'll kiss your husband goodnight for you.

- Jenny, is Peter in his room? - Yes, he is, I guess.

- Are you the guest he was expecting? - Yeah, sure.

He could've fool me.

You want to make something of it?

Of course, I know you don't want to be disturb but you forgot something.

Move over.

Bless you, my children.

- Now, what about that girl? - Good morning Mr. Morgan.

In regard to that young woman...

- Come in Keith. - What about that girl?

In regard to that young woman...

Now, what about that girl?

Oh, I lose, I bet me you'd say it the other way.

I'm not in a playful mood young man...

and I resent your customary procedure of beating around the bush.

I always get to the point immediately.

I accept that as a tradition of the Morgan but I'd like to make another bet, I'll...

- I'll bet you lose a lot of fun. - Now, don't evade the issue.

I sent for you because I wanted to discuss that girl.

Uncle, that girl happens to be...

Well, she happens to be a very good friend of mine.

I won't stand it, bringing your fling home with you.

- You must get her out of town. - I can't uncle, she's here because...

Well, because she heard that Old Sharon gave a great course in botany.

Keith Morgan...

I've watched you go to perdition in your own inimitable dipso-maniacal way at least...

twice during the present semester and I've made no issue of it.

I'm even willing to overlook the present situation.

But if that girl makes one more misstep, as she did last night...

it'll go hard with everyone concerned.

Now get out.

What a hotshot he would've been during the French revolution.

How he treat you?

Like I trained you for the fight, here's your registration card.

Now, you duck into papa's classroom and he'll watch out for you.

And remember dear, this is your first day in school.

I want you to be a good little girl and make mother very proud.

Yes mama, I'll be home as soon as papa learns me all about the flowers.

- You see it? - See what?

- See that right there, don't you see it? - No.

Now look, it's right in the center there. Don't you see the tentacles?

Just a minute, just a minute now.

Now, this is the lowest form of plant life.

- See? - Hello.

Hello, they're perfect as far as they go.

- Now, if we take... - I love you.

- You were just about to take something. - No, well, leave it.

- Are you professor Morgan? - Yes.

- Well, I'm supposed to report to you. - Oh yes, that's...

- I'll take her to her place professor. - Never mind Culpepper, I'll take her myself.

There are a lot of things I have to catch up on professor.

- Do you think you could help me? - Yes dear.

Oh, we're studying the lowest form of vegetable life, see?

The protococcus, now...

now we'll take a drop of water and put it on the slide here.

This water is from the gutter of the roof, it's standing for some time.

I didn't know you were this wonderful.

Now you use these and get the focus...

and you'll notice a sort of a green coloring.

Sort of a green coloring and that is a multitude of very small green bodies...

See?

So I want you to examine that and examine it very carefully.

And if you run into difficulties, why just ask me or one of the instructors.

- Well hurry back, will you dear? - Alright darling.

Alright class, now, anyone having any more questions about tomorrow's quiz...

see Mr. Culpepper, that's all.

Hey Morgan, I was just thinking, that new student...

Probably not a thing up here except blonde hair, but...

Now, wait a minute. Now, you take it easy.

Well, I just don't like to have the new students maligned.

After all, she hasn't had the benefit of the earlier lectures.

Well, I'm sorry about that, I'll bring her up to date.

Won't you sit down? I'll try and explain some of these things to you.

Now, botany is really the romance of life and before you're through with this class...

you'll never again want to walk on a blade of grass.

- Is that so? - Oh yeah honey, plants are just like us.

At first, they're playfully young and...

then they grow up and become a little more serious, you know what I mean.

Culpepper, run down the hall and get tomorrow's slides or something.

Yes sir. Excuse me.

I'll be back.

Oh darling, I've been so anxious to talk to you.

- Can't we ever be alone? - Well?

Here.

Well, are you alright, Francey? How you feel? Helen hurt you very much?

No, not much. I was so frightened last night, I just picked up my scripts and ran.

If Keith hadn't had the wind behind him he'd never have caught me. Oh I was so lonesome.

I worried about you all night. You know, for a man of dad's intelligence, he was pretty...

primitive about the whole thing. He insisted on remaining upset.

So I just thought the best thing to do was just let him sleep it off.

I hope I ruined everything for us.

Oh no, just try not to worry too much about it, I know it's enough to drive you crazy but...

well, just remember, bad beginning, good finish.

- I must be due a lot of happiness. - We.

- Oh, Keith said about tonight... - Keith, Keith. Well no, look now...

We've imposed on his good nature long enough.

I want you to leave Keith's apartment right away and find an apartment for us.

You see?

Oh, we're having a quiz here tomorrow and a lot of visiting professors and I...

you don't know anything about botany or do you?

Well, if it's anything like us, I do.

No, no, it's a little different.

Well, I sort of thought maybe I could...

come around tonight and give you the questions and answers.

Good.

Alright.

Alright, now you go over to the Martha...

Gregory apartments, it's nice and quiet over there and...

- it'd be much better for our lesson. - Alright teacher.

Thank you teacher.

And don't expect any consideration for your late entrance into the class Miss Brent.

It just means that you'll have to work twice as hard, just twice as hard.

- Alright teacher. - Yes.

Cute, isn't he?

There you are deary, I've given you an extra quilt.

Our young ladies are always complaining about the chilly nights.

Now, if there's anything else you want, just call me.

Thank you Mrs. Wickett.

Oh, there's Walter again. Always falling down, just like him.

What do you mean Walter?

Oh, Walter was the gentleman to whom I was married, but he was so unreliable.

You never could depend upon him.

- You sir, where you think you're going? - Miss Francey Brent's apartment.

I beg your pardon, but this hotel is for ladies exclusively.

- I know, that's the reason I sent her... - Sir, if you...

- Look, I'm her botany professor... - Read, read.

- Books... - Absolutely no exceptions.

Botany professor, eh? You fellas can figure the silliest excuses.

Will you call her and tell her I'm down here please?

I will.

Will you sit down please?

Alone at last.

Say professor, we don't mind that you use the front seat but will you kindly settle down?

Put that light out.

If that thing had been on a boat it never would've started.

Anybody would think I wasn't your husband, including me.

If ever a girl felt unmarried, I do.

Peter, you think your father might be cool enough now so you could tell him about us?

Well, hot or cool, we're going to tell him right now.

He's over at the university making a speech.

Well, I'd better wait outside, it'd just be my luck to sneeze and kill his point.

And all for what? For nothing.

Applause.

What is applause to him or he to applause...

that he should weep for it?

- Why aren't you with the faculty? - Dad, will you sit down for a minute?

Mr. Noble is endowing a new library for us.

The least we can do is to honor him with our presence.

Please get your cap and gown.

Well, it just happens that this is much more important to me than Mr. Noble.

At the moment, your problems are secondary.

Dad, you know that girl that you think is Keith's girl?

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute now, she's my wife.

And now our president.

We are gathered here this evening...

to pay homage to a man...

who has, this day...

I'm not feeling very well.

I'll have to ask you to excuse me for a few moments.

- What was it you said? - I said that that girl is my wife.

And Dad I might add that she's the finest wife that any man could ever hope to have.

- Peter, are you mad? - I think I am sir...

- and I hope it's a permanent condition. - I won't allow you to toss your life away.

Well, it's my life and I'd like you to let me do as I please with it.

After all, it's a courtesy that you must concede to any ordinary human being.

Aren't you confusing courtesy and license? Now, you're a professor in this university.

With a future that might ultimately lead to its presidency, mind you, I said might.

Father, are you alright? What happened?

I'm alright, it's this boy.

I, I'm so frightened, I...

- Mother, I'm glad you're here, you too Helen. - Be quiet Peter.

- You know your mother is got a weak heart. - Quiet? I've been quiet long enough, now...

- Get some water for her. - Oh, mother, I'm sorry. I didn't...

Go and get some water.

- Are you alright dear? - I'm alright.

Here, give it to me.

- You'll kill your mother. - But dad, this is something...

Until we can discuss this further I wish you wouldn't say anything about it to her.

Well, I've got to...

If you don't care anything about her welfare, I do.

I'm sorry about your mother Peter, really I am..

But why should I be a shock?

Oh, you wouldn't be darling, it's just that...

Dad was afraid that on top of her...

breaking down over his muffing that acceptance speech of his, that she...

Oh, I don't know.

Gosh and Mr. Noble, I hope he isn't offended, I...

I'd hate to see the university lose that endowment over me.

- Over me, you mean. - No.

You didn't have anything to do with it darling.

- Well, what's that? - Goodbye.

Oh, but Francey...

- Francey please, will you please listen? - Look here, you.

- What? - Remember our house rules.

Now listen, don't you start anything rough. Besides, I wear glasses. I haven't...

got them on now, I always wear them though, but they're being fix.

And besides, it's against the law to hit a man with glasses on.

Hello. Will you reserve a compartment on the 1 AM train for New York?

Yes and send somebody up for my bags, I'm leaving.

Francey, I know that you ought to be angry with me and leave...

- but please don't go. - I'm not angry.

Well, you ought to be.

I know that if you were me and I were you, I'd be angry and leave you.

- But don't leave me. - Oh darling, please don't.

It's darn difficult as it is. Now, go on back down the fire escape...

- before somebody finds out... - Now Francey, if you don't stop this,

I'm going out there and I'm going to yell at the top of my lungs...

and let everybody know that I'm here, I have a right to be here.

- Now come on now, let's talk this over. - No, no.

I can talk much more lucidly from here...

with you over there.

Well alright, but I'm going to say no to everything you have to say about leaving.

I've made up my mind.

But what about our minds?

- We're not supposed to have separate... - I told you to stay over there.

Say, one ticket to New York and you just have time to make it.

Well, couldn't I just...

Couldn't I just sit down and watch you while you leave? I...

I promise I won't say anything or argue, I...

I'll just sit here.

Alright.

Oh darling, please kiss me goodbye.

- Yeah. - Goodbye darling.

- Goodbye darling. - Goodbye.

- Oh Walter, there he goes again. - Who's Walter?

The maid calls it Walter because is like her husband who's...

always falling down unexpectedly.

Here, wait a minute. I'll, I'll help it.

Once, I just opened the desk drawer and it fell down.

Comes down easy, eh?

I'd better hurry.

I don't hurry I'll miss my train.

You, you be careful going down the fire escape, won't you?

Oh, that?

Of course, there was a policeman there when I came up, but I'll take a chance.

Oh, but he might mistake you for a burglar and shoot you.

Oh sure, it's alright.

Think maybe I better stay here until he goes though.

Well, I have a few minutes before train time, I'll just stay here too.

Why don't you? There's no sense in...

- waiting at that station for your train. - No, silly to wait there.

You know how they are in hotels, they always send up a maid who...

looks over things to see that you haven't stolen any towels or anything.

And if she'd find you here...

and it got around that you were found in a woman's room...

- And without a woman. - Yes, they, they never believe you.

No, never believe me.

You're all packed? Do you think you have everything?

I'm quite sure.

You know, I always forget things when I go to hotel, leave them in drawers.

Nothing in there.

Try the, I left some books in the desk drawer, would you mind returning them for me?

- These? - The university has so many books...

would it be alright if I kept one book just to remember everything by?

- They wouldn't miss one little book. - Sure, I'll make it good.

- Will you autograph it for me? - Alright, I'm not the author.

Oh, but you're much better than the author.

- Oh, the ink, in the kitchen. - Alright.

Close this.

Francey darling, I love you.

Never read beyond this page. Oh darling, I can't go, don't let me go.

Oh, it makes sense.

- Oh, who's there? - The clerk, have your tickets for New York.

The train leaves in 15 minutes.

Yeah? Well, never mind, she's not going, and you can turn back the tickets.

- Who's that in there with you? - Turn back the tickets.

- Well, do I have to go now? - Yes, you got to go darling.

Goodbye sweet, see you tomorrow.

Open the door, you know this is against the rules.

Will you open the door? Where is he? Where is he?

What he? What do you mean he?

What's the matter with you?

Oh I've, I've got a cold and it makes me very hoarse.

Well now, you take some hot tea and a little lemon and molasses and...

some honey and some butter, and then you put them all...

- together... - And it spells mother.

Oh, good evening Helen.

If miss Brent were a lady she'd at least show you to the ladder.

I was giving her some homework.

Right?

Oh, left my car over here.

- How is Mrs. Morgan? - Fine.

- I'm going to read to her. - That's very considerate of you Helen.

Doctor says she must've rest and quiet.

- I said quiet. - I didn't say nothing.

Did I?

Hello.

- Hello Francey. - Oh, hello darling.

- Hey, you're late. - Where are you?

I'm just beginning class.

Well, I'll be over just as soon as I get up, take my bath, eat my breakfast...

and tell you how much I love you.

Oh. Walter's lumpy.

- Well, do you love me? - Yes.

- Yes what? - I do.

You do what?

I love you. There's a whole lot of people in here.

Well, who do you love? Come on, tell me.

I, if you'll submit a sample...

I would love to make a test of it for you.

- You get it? - I got it.

Piety that blossoms into character making it August and lovely.

These attributes...

- Helen. - Oh Mrs. Morgan.

What's the matter dear?

It's that girl, the girl that we thought was Keith's, she's not Keith's, she's Peter's.

Probably nothing, silly flirtation.

Would you call leaving a woman's apartment in the middle of the night a silly flirtation?

Gossip. I wouldn't pay any attention to what I hear.

I saw him sneaking out of her apartment early this morning with my own eyes.

Well, there's only one way to handle a woman like that.

Helen, I'm getting up.

- Hello. - May I come in?

Why yes, please do.

- Won't you sit down? - Do you mind if I remain standing?

Why, not at all Mrs. Morgan.

Since you know who I am it simplifies what I have to say to you.

Young lady, I know all about you and Peter.

Mother, I'm so glad you know.

We've been so frightened as to how to go about telling you we were married...

and now it all seems so simple, I was so worried for fear I might lose him.

Oh, I know it sounds silly to fall in love with anybody so quickly...

but I just took one look at him and I said, that's the guy.

But, it's the first I've heard. I think I will take that chair.

- Oh, you... - You mean they didn't tell you?

Oh my dear, I wouldn't have done this to you for the world, your heart.

Would you like a glass of water? How do you feel?

You know...

I think I'm going to feel fine.

Oh, I start out by half scaring you to death when I intended to begin so differently.

I wanted to ask you all about Peter, what he likes and what to do when he's mad...

- mainly how to make him happy. - I think you'll manage that.

May I have a cigarette?

Your heart.

- Oh, nonsense. - Peter told me you have heart trouble.

Oh well...

Maybe I do have heart trouble, when it's convenient.

Whenever my husband raises his voice. Oh my dear...

it saves so much wear and tear and you don't have to listen to a lot of boring details...

about running a university.

They bring you your meals in bed, and it's quiet and lovely, it's lovely.

Why, I've spent the best years of my married life in bed with heart trouble.

Good morning Francey.

Oh, aunt Martha, I, I just came to drive miss Brent to school.

Keith, our troubles are all over. Mrs. Morgan knows all about our marriage.

- Well, how do you feel auntie? - Better than that.

My dear, I don't mean to be one of these inquiring relatives but tell me...

what did you do before you married Peter?

What, you haven't heard of miss Francey Brent.

The scintillating singing dancing darling of Broadway, N.Y.? That's a fine thing.

Auntie, do you know the big apple?

I know it's a fruit but I don't know any particular one.

Oh, come on Francey, give. We'll give her a chunk, eh?

Here, come on, here we go. Get into this thing. 1, 2, 3.

Come on Francey, get in it. 1, 2, 3, swing out.

- Swing low. - What am I going to do with him?

Swing high and stomp, come on.

- Young man I want to see miss Francey Brent. - The 307.

We prefer our young ladies meet their boyfriends down in the lobby.

I'm Peter Morgan, President of the university.

That doesn't make you any exception and besides, why aren't you in school?

- I'm playing hooky. - Shame,

And a truck. 1, 2, 3, turn.

- Rise up. - Come on, get in.

- 2, 3, 4, praise Allah. - Praise Allah.

Come on Mrs. Morgan, don't you want to learn to do this?

Oh, I couldn't. No, I really I couldn't.

I've never done a dance of this kind in all my life.

1, 2, very good, really do it.

1, 2, 3, 4.

- Oh, this is fun. - 1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, drop the apple.

- Lower auntie. - You're killing me.

- 1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, Suzie Q. - Suzie Q.

- Going town. - 1, 2, 3, 4.

Jump. 2, 3, 4. Jump. 2, 3, 4.

- Jump, 2, 3, 4. Jump, 2, 3, 4. - A-1, A-2, A-3, A-4.

Praise Allah, hey sunshine.

- Shine, shine, everybody shine. - Do what you want to.

Come on auntie, strut your stuff, Don't you stop till you've had enough.

- How am I doing? - 1A a 2A, strut on down.

- Stomp it out. - 1, A2, A3, A4.

Don't stop now.

Praise Allah, praise Allah, praise Allah.

Praise Al...

- Have you quite finished? - Oh, my heart.

My heart.

Just one surprise after another.

Mr. Morgan, there'll be no more surprises.

You came in just as we were celebrating mother knowing about Peter and me.

Mother? How very domestic. I think you'd better sit down my dear.

- You look like a very practical young lady. - Peter, please...

- Peter, please... - Please don't interrupt.

I'm practical enough to see you don't approve of me.

Did you expect to be approved of?

But Mr. Morgan, you don't know anything about me.

I know my son met you in your dance hall, before he had a chance to catch his breath...

Well, I'll put it so that you'll understand it...

- you hooked him. - I hooked him.

For that very desirable and very underpaid job of his?

Or his social position, I don't remember which. That's what you mean, isn't it?

Exactly. A simple solution for a difficult situation like this is quiet divorce.

Mr. Morgan, you're not grading papers or dismissing classes.

He's my husband.

Very well, if you insist upon being unreasonable...

I shall be obliged to ask Peter for his resignation.

Oh, you can't do that.

Come my dear, I must be off to the university.

Come along.

Come on, come on. Come here and go there.

30 years I've had of it, all for Old Sharon.

Our Alma Mater, laugh when you want to cry,

And if you want to laugh, don't laugh too loudly.

Don't wear a red dress. You love red, but red is too conspicuous.

Our Alma Mater. Alma Mater.

Your sons and daughters are true-blue and we love you through and through.

And even though you're breaking my son's heart I'm...

still supposed to love you through and through?

Well, you can have your Alma Mater.

But here's one of her daughters that isn't true-blue...

and who won't love her through and through anymore.

- Coming my dear? - Coming? I'm going.

- And I'm going too Mr. Morgan. - Thanks.

Lepto, delicate, spora, seed, angiate, means case or vessel.

Leptosporangiate, having a seedcase formed from a single delicate cell.

Clear now?

Yes professor, but I still don't understand, in the reproduction of ferns...

which matures first, the male or the female?

Keith, what are you doing here like this?

Drowning your sorrows.

Will you get out of here? Will you go home, do anything?

Dad is showing Mr. Noble around the school with his million dollars.

He'll be here any minute, now beat it.

- Professor? - Yes Miss Barton.

Repeat the question please.

I'd like to know, in the reproduction of a fern...

What's the idea Keith? It's the first time you've ever done this.

This is the first time your wife's ever left you.

- What you say? - I said, in the reproduction of a fern...

That your wife is leaving you on the 4 o'clock train.

Culpepper, take the class.

- What do I do? - Talk.

- Francey. - Tell her I'll see her in New York.

Francey listen, Keith just told me.

No, but listen, you can't do this Francey.

No darling, I'm, I'm leaving this time. There's nothing you can do.

No darling, listen.

Alright, alright, you go ahead and catch the 4 o'clock train.

If I don't have everything straightened out by 4 o'clock...

you just go right ahead and catch the 4 o'clock train.

But I'm going to have everything straightened out before the 4 o'clock train.

- I'm not going to say goodbye Francey. - I love you darling, goodbye.

Well boy, don't toss away everything you've worked...

for on a girl who will only succeed in blackening your good name of Morgan.

As if I couldn't blacken my own name.

- Hey, don't break that. - Just a second here.

Before I get through he'll think Francey is too good for me.

Alright.

About a quarter liter there pal.

- It's as good as name blackener as any. - Hey, hey, take it easy.

Shades and merciful saints preserve us, today you are a man.

I don't feel a thing, don't feel a thing...

Do you have any more?

- I'll get some. - No, no, we don't have any time.

I'll make it myself.

Hold that.

I saved this one for the last, this is my son's class, you know.

- Pardonable brag. - Well, he's a chip off the old block.

But even if it was somebody else son, it would still be the best conducted class.

Listen Morgan, I know you, you probably tipped the boy off we were coming.

Come in, gentlemen.

You know, moments of ecstasy and moments of depression.

- Go right ahead Mr. Culpepper. - Yes sir.

Just do me a little favor, will you? Divorce Francey so she can marry me.

What you say?

I told Francey that if she'd divorce you, I'd marry her.

What do you say?

So, in the contemplation of plant life...

So, in the contemplation of plant life, one is incline to give...

credence to the legend of Jack and the beanstalk.

After all, the bean hasn't been the enemy of man, has it?

Or has it?

I'll take the class, thank you.

Open discussion, any questions?

I know I have, I know Culpepper has, haven't you Culpepper?

You, well, speak up man, speak up.

Well yes, I have but I don't believe I'd be able to make myself very clear right now.

- You come from Texas, don't you? - Yes I do, bless her.

Texas, bless her...

Chip off the old block.

Excuse me Peter, class is dismissed.

Excuse me, but Peter isn't feeling very well.

Isn't feeling well? Never felt better in his life.

Goodbye.

Oh, don't take this so seriously Pete. There's nothing like a liberal education.

Anyway, you'll get your library.

- Peter, what are you trying to do? - Sir, I am a blackguard, how am I doing?

In front of your class, it's unpardonable. What explanation can we make for it?

Well sir, I figured that if I could do a pretty good job...

of blackening that good old Morgan name, she might fit right in.

- So that's it, is it? - That is it sir.

Which convinces me all the more that you don't know what's good for you.

Well, dad, one of us must be wrong.

While you're a member of my faculty you must do as I say.

Then consider me no longer a member of the faculty.

- Now Peter, you don't have to resign. - Surprised, surprised, eh?

Surprised that any Morgan would...

put anything above the university. Now dad, you listen to me.

I love it here.

There's nothing in this whole world that I would rather be than a professor right here.

Except, a good husband to my wife.

Now dad, you may not understand that and if you don't understand I feel sorry for you Dad.

But I refuse to sacrifice one second of...

my wife's happiness for this university, as much as I love it.

All aboard.

- Oh, I got 5 minutes to get to the station. - I'm not going to let you go Peter.

You're not responsible...

- for what you're saying. - I have no time to talk.

Are you alright Peter?

There, there, take it easy boy. Take it easy, you'll be alright.

You've just had one too many, that's all.

Come in.

Here you is ma'am, nice cold ham sandwich.

Just caught the cook before they closed the kitchen up, had I been a minute later...

that ham would've spent the night in the cold icebox.

- Is everything alright? - It's very nice.

Thank you.

Come in.

Here you is ma'am, nice cold ham sandwich.

Just caught the cook going out the door.

I said, there's a nice hungry lady who craves ham.

Would you prefer whole wheat bread?

Oh, no. No, this is really very nice.

I know how you feel lady.

- Here's your mustard please. - Oh, I don't want it now.

- I can't eat anything. - Right now, I couldn't eat nothing either.

Oh, would you get me some cigarettes please?

Oh, I'm sorry lady, but the bar is closed.

But I'll get you some, if I have to steal them.

Mister, would you give me a cigarette please?

Here you go.

- Porter, porter... - Yes, ma'am?

Will you please get me a package of cigarettes?

I just borrowed the last cigarette the gentleman had for the lady next-door.

She seems to be awfully low.

But you look like you're lower in misery, so you'd better take it.

Oh, no, I couldn't take the last.

Well...

That's awfully sweet of you ma'am.

I just borrowed the last cigarette the gentleman had...

and the lady next door, she's awfully low in misery...

and she take the one end of the snipe and sent you the other end.

Oh mother...

- Hello mother. - Why, Francey.

Oh my dear, sit down.

- I've just left my husband, you know. - Me too, I've just left my husband you know.

Oh, I'm so glad to see you. I was so hungry, I just had to have a bite to eat.

Here, have part of my sandwich.

Oh, how lovely.

All of this for me? I'm as hungry as a wolf.

Me too, I guess it must be this freedom.

I, I feel so free.

Yes, doesn't one feel free?

Oh, New York will be so much fun.

- So many gay places. - We can go where we want to.

Yes, ma'am.

And do what we want to.

And wear what we want to without any husbands to...

Watch out after us.

Bother us.

Oh mother, you know you don't feel good about leaving.

I know I don't Francey.

Oh, it's all my fault.

You were married so long and I had to come along and cause all this trouble.

- But don't you worry about me. - Here's your mustard ma'am.

- You got troubles of your own. - But it doesn't matter about Peter and me.

I hardly knew him.

Porter, will you make up our berths please?

- Good night dear. - Good night.

Pard me, in case anybody is hurt.

- What is it? What happened? - Hit a car.

- Oh, was anybody hurt? - Nobody in.

Oh, thank goodness.

We'll be on our way as soon as the track is clear.

That's good.

- Good night dear. - Good night mother.

I don't see the necessity of placing the car across the track and having it wrecked.

There must be a more sane and less expensive way of stopping a train.

Alright dad, the next time your wife leaves you, I'll...

just let you figure one out for yourself.

I was going to trade that car in. The blue book values it at $200.

Yeah? Well, the blue book value on my wife is a little more than $200...

and I'm not going to trade her in either.

Boy, I'm looking for a young girl. I'll describe her, she's a blonde...

- Who left her husband? - Yeah, yeah.

In compartment B sir.

- Porter, there's a lady on this train... - In compartment C sir.

Thank you.

Who is it?

It's I. Open the door and let me in mother.

Mother, open the door and let me in.

I've come to take you home my dear, this nonsense must stop.

Quiet, please.

Big shot in the French revolution.

But Dad, looks so you have a decision to make.

Well, what do you suggest?

I just suggest that you decide what you want most, your high horse or your wife.

Go away.

Oh, oh, I was in that wreck.

The train struck me. Oh my heart, oh my heart, oh.

Peter, oh my dear, why didn't you tell me?

Oh. Oh, my poor darling.

My poor dear.

Oh darling, how did you get here?

Honeymoon without a husband is sort of silly, don't you think?

Look out, Walter.