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1
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Spring had finally sprung in Boyle,
2
00:00:02,493 --> 00:00:04,382
bringing with it slightly lighter rain,
3
00:00:04,453 --> 00:00:07,582
off-grey clouds and a tiny reduction
Lemsip usage.
4
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,782
But to fill the gap,
the whole Moone house
5
00:00:11,853 --> 00:00:14,174
was infected with matrimonial fever
6
00:00:14,333 --> 00:00:17,542
Is this wedding not over yet?
When do we get cake?
7
00:00:17,653 --> 00:00:19,542
Fidelma's big day was a week away
8
00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:22,344
and the bride-to-be was a sprightly
eight months pregnant.
9
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:25,257
Although, judging by her appetite,
Martin suspected that this baby
10
00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:27,813
was, in fact some kind of
giant tapeworm...
11
00:00:29,293 --> 00:00:31,580
Which would soon emerge
to wreak havoc on them all
12
00:00:33,413 --> 00:00:36,576
Stop feeding me pasta!
I'm intolerant to gluten!
13
00:00:37,893 --> 00:00:39,099
Perfect!
14
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,743
- What's this for?
- A hen party.
15
00:00:40,813 --> 00:00:43,339
Pink tops. Mad. We'll all wear them.
It'll be gas.
16
00:00:43,453 --> 00:00:44,739
We're having a hen party?
17
00:00:44,853 --> 00:00:47,697
- But I kind of have plans.
- Eating isn't plans, love.
18
00:00:47,893 --> 00:00:51,864
I think you're right, Delma. There's no
need for all these silly old rituals.
19
00:00:51,973 --> 00:00:53,577
Hen parties, weddings...
20
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,098
Will you stop? I'm marrying Dessie.
21
00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:56,937
I just want you to know
there's no pressure.
22
00:00:57,013 --> 00:01:01,462
Ireland's changing. It's the '90s.
Nobody cares if you're married or not.
23
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:05,943
There's no prejudices, no stigmatas.
We're an enlightened people now.
24
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,976
A bunch of travellers moved next door.
Just had a big friendly fight with them.
25
00:01:10,053 --> 00:01:11,782
- What?
- Travellers!
26
00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:14,342
- Travellers?
- Tractors!
27
00:01:15,373 --> 00:01:19,344
Sorry, it was hard to hear down there.
Is the big tapeworm gone?
28
00:01:20,573 --> 00:01:21,938
Travellers!
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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
30
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Wow. Real travellers.
31
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,580
I wonder what faraway lands
they've travelled from.
32
00:01:48,653 --> 00:01:51,975
Yeah.
Oh, they're license plate says Limerick.
33
00:01:52,293 --> 00:01:54,022
Do you think they speak English?
34
00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:55,658
Um...
35
00:01:59,373 --> 00:02:00,454
Kind of.
36
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,860
Do you want a lift, girls?
I've remixed the drive-to-school album.
37
00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:09,297
Added a 10-minute tambourine solo
that will blow your mind.
38
00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:12,184
Oh, actually, uh, smoking.
39
00:02:12,253 --> 00:02:13,937
Don't wanna hurt the baby.
40
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:16,261
Good thinking. How about you, Sinead?
41
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:20,099
I'm, uh, second-hand smoking
which could also hurt the baby.
42
00:02:20,533 --> 00:02:22,501
You're the best aunties ever.
43
00:02:22,573 --> 00:02:24,701
So long, dudes.
44
00:02:26,253 --> 00:02:28,096
Everyone, this is Majella,
45
00:02:28,213 --> 00:02:31,456
who's joining us
from the traveller community.
46
00:02:31,813 --> 00:02:35,340
So, please make her feel very welcome,
all right?
47
00:02:35,413 --> 00:02:36,983
Yes, Sister.
48
00:02:37,053 --> 00:02:39,215
Not a gypsy.
49
00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:44,939
Now, everyone sit quietly until
Ms Tansey returns from the water closet.
50
00:02:45,013 --> 00:02:46,697
I really like her earrings.
51
00:02:49,493 --> 00:02:50,904
She's got attitude.
52
00:02:50,973 --> 00:02:53,260
I like it. She looks dangerous.
53
00:02:54,573 --> 00:02:55,853
So, where are you travelling to?
54
00:02:55,973 --> 00:02:58,453
- Huh?
- Like, what's your final destination?
55
00:02:58,573 --> 00:03:01,622
- Don't have one.
- Now, that's real freedom, buddy.
56
00:03:01,893 --> 00:03:04,658
Look at her. She's like a wild boar.
57
00:03:05,013 --> 00:03:08,381
Just running free, snuffling truffles.
58
00:03:09,053 --> 00:03:11,738
Actually, I think
those are Padraic's Rancheros.
59
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:13,942
Thanks for the crisps.
60
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,942
What's mine is yours.
61
00:03:22,293 --> 00:03:24,216
Sorry, I'm late for rehearsals, dudes.
62
00:03:24,293 --> 00:03:27,581
Had to drop the old mother and child
off at school. I'm like Joseph.
63
00:03:27,973 --> 00:03:29,737
Except, I did actually impregnate her.
64
00:03:30,013 --> 00:03:32,175
- Morning, Dessie.
- Ah! Morning, Father.
65
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:35,382
Listen. Just a quick query about next
week regarding the wedding party.
66
00:03:35,453 --> 00:03:36,659
It's going to be some party, all right.
67
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:39,816
Yes. But just in terms
of the people involved.
68
00:03:39,893 --> 00:03:42,021
Now, Delma's sister, Trish,
is maid of honour,
69
00:03:42,093 --> 00:03:44,300
but I've no details for your side.
70
00:03:44,373 --> 00:03:47,104
Eh, do you have anybody in mind
for best man?
71
00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:49,854
Well, actually, I was kind of hoping
72
00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:52,015
you might do me the honour yourself,
Father.
73
00:03:54,293 --> 00:03:55,533
Excuse me?
74
00:03:55,893 --> 00:03:57,224
Will you be my best man?
75
00:03:58,773 --> 00:04:00,821
- Me?
- Well, we are best buds.
76
00:04:01,813 --> 00:04:02,894
Are we?
77
00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:04,508
You didn't know we were best friends?
78
00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:08,663
What, no, no...
I knew that we were best friends.
79
00:04:09,173 --> 00:04:10,618
It's just...
80
00:04:11,053 --> 00:04:13,260
We've never actually met
outside of the church.
81
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:15,256
We've had some good times in here,
all right.
82
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:18,462
We have. Mad, mad times.
83
00:04:18,573 --> 00:04:22,373
The thing is... I'm doing the Mass.
84
00:04:22,453 --> 00:04:24,660
I'm marrying you. I can't be best man...
85
00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:26,861
Ah, Father,
it's just a bit of multi-tasking.
86
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,423
You're well able for it.
87
00:04:28,493 --> 00:04:31,178
Sure, Jesus was a leader.
But he was also a carpenter, wasn't he?
88
00:04:31,253 --> 00:04:32,982
I know my best man won't let me down.
89
00:04:33,453 --> 00:04:34,659
Or my priest.
90
00:04:35,053 --> 00:04:36,578
Or my best-man-priest.
91
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,144
All right, peeps. Let's hit it.
92
00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:44,300
♪ Your own, personal Jesus ♪
93
00:04:47,573 --> 00:04:50,224
Look, I'm sure this will
all work out fine.
94
00:04:50,773 --> 00:04:51,979
Right!
95
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,976
Nice to have a bit
of multi-culturalism in the area.
96
00:04:56,053 --> 00:04:58,454
The main thing is not to make
a big hoo-ha out of it.
97
00:04:58,533 --> 00:05:01,013
I mean, we're not those kind
of stuck up people.
98
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,219
Exactly.
99
00:05:02,893 --> 00:05:04,702
What's Martin's bike doing inside?
100
00:05:04,933 --> 00:05:07,334
Oh, that's just in case it rains.
101
00:05:09,053 --> 00:05:11,977
Yeah, good idea. It's not rust-proof.
102
00:05:12,053 --> 00:05:13,134
Hmm.
103
00:05:15,093 --> 00:05:18,415
- Is the lawn mower rust-proof?
- No. I'll bring that in, too.
104
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:23,021
No, Majella, we talked about this.
The dog can't come in the school.
105
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:24,499
Tato goes everywhere with me.
106
00:05:24,573 --> 00:05:28,817
Yes. But, not to school, Majella.
Tato will have to stay at your house.
107
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:31,578
- Don't have a house.
- Um, that's right.
108
00:05:32,253 --> 00:05:34,574
Well, whatever you have, then.
109
00:05:35,773 --> 00:05:37,616
Ha-ha! You've no house.
110
00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:39,735
No. But, I have a gun.
111
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,578
Ah, don't mind them, Majella.
112
00:05:42,653 --> 00:05:45,623
Travellers have always had to deal
with the ignorance of laypeople.
113
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,900
- That's right.
- I bet Columbus got teased a lot,
114
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,213
before he discovered Australia.
115
00:05:49,253 --> 00:05:50,493
Africa!
116
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:52,459
Thanks, Moone.
117
00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:56,139
That's some good groundwork, big shot.
118
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,095
Of all the useless fields in Roscommon,
119
00:05:59,173 --> 00:06:01,494
they end up picking the one
next to your house.
120
00:06:01,573 --> 00:06:03,018
- This is it.
- In a way, it's flattering.
121
00:06:03,093 --> 00:06:05,699
- Aye, in a way. Yeah.
- Such a rich history.
122
00:06:05,773 --> 00:06:08,663
- The travelling community.
- Such a rich history, you're right.
123
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:12,055
Their traditions and their language
and stuff.
124
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,101
I mean, I respect it all so much.
125
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:16,460
- So much.
- I almost respect it too much.
126
00:06:16,533 --> 00:06:18,695
- Me, too.
- Me, too. Yeah.
127
00:06:19,973 --> 00:06:22,973
So, are you going to wait until they're
out and then burn down the caravans?
128
00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:25,814
What?
129
00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:27,895
- No!
- Bet that's what ends up happening.
130
00:06:28,028 --> 00:06:29,428
- He's right.
- They burn them down.
131
00:06:29,453 --> 00:06:32,297
No, no, no, lads.
I'm really fine with them being there.
132
00:06:32,573 --> 00:06:34,940
I mean, who cares
if it's not their land?
133
00:06:35,013 --> 00:06:36,538
Free land is for the free.
134
00:06:36,893 --> 00:06:39,499
Who am I to stop the travelling man
from sowing his seed?
135
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:42,543
- Yeah. He's right.
- Yeah. Yeah.
136
00:06:44,507 --> 00:06:46,348
Are you going to call the cops
on them, though?
137
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,263
Oh, God, I'd love to, but I'm just
afraid they'd find out it was me.
138
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:50,414
Jesus Christ.
139
00:06:52,773 --> 00:06:54,935
Hello. Is that the Guards? Yeah. Listen.
140
00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:57,254
A bunch of travellers
are after moving into a field
141
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,381
beside Liam Moone's house,
142
00:06:59,613 --> 00:07:02,423
who I'm unacquainted with,
but something has to be done about it.
143
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,988
- That's right, Liam. Put your foot down.
- Is that you, Liam?
144
00:07:05,013 --> 00:07:07,300
No, this is an anonymous caller.
145
00:07:07,573 --> 00:07:09,177
I haven't talked to you in yonks.
146
00:07:09,253 --> 00:07:11,733
How's things?
Are you still playing the handball?
147
00:07:11,813 --> 00:07:13,338
You had such a natural talent for it.
148
00:07:13,413 --> 00:07:15,256
Oh, thanks, Pat. No!
149
00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:19,022
- He nearly gave it away.
- No, this isn't Mr Moone.
150
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:22,257
This is a concerned citizen.
151
00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:24,495
- I don't even...
- Man of a thousand voices, isn't he?
152
00:07:24,573 --> 00:07:26,780
- I'm foreign person.
- Oh, you're from Galway or something?
153
00:07:26,853 --> 00:07:28,264
Hey, Liam.
154
00:07:28,693 --> 00:07:31,264
No, I'm Portuguese.
155
00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:33,142
- How we doing, Father?
- Ah, good, good.
156
00:07:33,213 --> 00:07:34,863
Just seeing if Liam's free
tomorrow night.
157
00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:36,458
I can't tell you my name
'cause it's an anonymous call.
158
00:07:36,533 --> 00:07:39,980
I'm doing a "stags" party for Dessie.
We're a bit short on stags.
159
00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:41,418
I'm sure he'd be well up for that.
160
00:07:41,493 --> 00:07:42,733
Oh, really? Oh, great.
161
00:07:42,813 --> 00:07:44,895
- Okay, my name is Julio.
- Oh, Julio, that's a nice name.
162
00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:47,055
What about yourselves?
Will you come, too?
163
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,544
Will there be free drink?
164
00:07:48,613 --> 00:07:51,742
There will be a certain amount
of free drink, yes.
165
00:07:51,813 --> 00:07:53,815
- There with bells on, Father.
- God bless you.
166
00:07:53,893 --> 00:07:56,333
Well, just get rid of the fecking
travellers, then, all right?
167
00:07:59,373 --> 00:08:02,183
Making prank calls, Liam?
168
00:08:02,253 --> 00:08:05,063
No, Father. We were just calling the...
169
00:08:05,493 --> 00:08:07,621
Yeah, he was just calling the...
170
00:08:07,693 --> 00:08:09,775
Some, eh, some sex lines.
171
00:08:11,653 --> 00:08:16,659
Oh, right. Anyway, I'd better go.
See you tomorrow, stags.
172
00:08:16,733 --> 00:08:18,098
All right, see you then, Father.
173
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,298
Wait, what?
174
00:08:22,093 --> 00:08:25,063
So, the priest is going to be
his best man.
175
00:08:25,533 --> 00:08:28,298
So, bridesmaids, beware.
176
00:08:28,453 --> 00:08:31,582
- Where's the sugar?
- The hen night is going to be a hoot.
177
00:08:31,653 --> 00:08:33,417
Linda's hired The Chicken Dales.
178
00:08:33,653 --> 00:08:36,224
- You mean, The Chippendales.
- Nah. We can't afford them.
179
00:08:36,293 --> 00:08:38,094
The Chicken Dales
are some part-time strippers
180
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:40,101
from the slaughter house in Castlerea.
181
00:08:41,893 --> 00:08:43,657
Why is there a wheel barrow
in my bedroom?
182
00:08:45,613 --> 00:08:47,024
Was that not always there?
183
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:50,097
Wait. This whole place is filled
with stuff from outside.
184
00:08:50,173 --> 00:08:52,983
Well, we're just trying
a new laundry system.
185
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,216
Ever since the travellers moved in,
you've been emptying out the garden.
186
00:08:56,293 --> 00:08:57,897
Yeah...
187
00:08:57,973 --> 00:09:00,419
Because tornado season has started.
188
00:09:00,493 --> 00:09:03,303
- It's a temperate climate, old man.
- Bloody school.
189
00:09:03,373 --> 00:09:05,774
So, why is our back garden
completely empty?
190
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:08,784
- OMFG.
- OMFG?
191
00:09:08,853 --> 00:09:11,982
Open my flipping guts!
There's a donkey in our back garden.
192
00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:13,293
What?
193
00:09:16,173 --> 00:09:18,540
Why is there a lawn mower
in my wardrobe?
194
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:26,178
Now, you listen to me, mister.
My garden is not a bloody petting zoo.
195
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:30,577
I know my rights, and they include
not living next to a fecking dump!
196
00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:33,053
Who's mumbling out here?
197
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:38,413
Holy... Uh, I'm Liam Moone, uh...
This is my place next door.
198
00:09:38,493 --> 00:09:39,904
- Signs fellow?
- Yeah.
199
00:09:39,973 --> 00:09:43,261
- That's your employee there?
- Oh, yeah.
200
00:09:43,773 --> 00:09:46,174
No, he's all fingers and thumbs.
201
00:09:46,573 --> 00:09:50,498
I found him in my back garden
and I thought I'd bring him back to you.
202
00:09:50,573 --> 00:09:51,654
Fair dos.
203
00:09:51,773 --> 00:09:53,263
- She's not ours, though.
- She's not?
204
00:09:54,613 --> 00:09:56,695
- Are you sure?
- That's our donkey there.
205
00:09:57,613 --> 00:09:58,899
Who needs two donkeys?
206
00:09:59,213 --> 00:10:01,898
Especially a boy and a girl,
they'd always be at it, huh.
207
00:10:01,973 --> 00:10:03,702
Right.
208
00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,619
Pigs are here, John-Joe!
209
00:10:07,293 --> 00:10:09,022
No, no, no.
210
00:10:11,173 --> 00:10:13,699
- How are you, Guard?
- Oh, yeah, Mr Moone.
211
00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:17,422
Did you not hear? The Village People
gang bang is next week.
212
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,696
- Always funny, John-Joe.
- Who's joking?
213
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:27,575
We've had a call about an illegal
land occupancy in this field.
214
00:10:27,773 --> 00:10:28,899
A call from who?
215
00:10:29,493 --> 00:10:33,339
Oh, an anonymous Iberian.
216
00:10:33,413 --> 00:10:34,699
Bloody snitches!
217
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,784
Who's the owner of the land?
218
00:10:37,173 --> 00:10:40,177
- James Reid.
- Reid-o the Paedo called from San Diego?
219
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,622
- That seems unlikely.
- Well...
220
00:10:42,693 --> 00:10:45,378
You have no problem with us being here,
do you, Mr Poster-man.
221
00:10:45,893 --> 00:10:48,897
Me? Not in the least!
222
00:10:49,613 --> 00:10:52,457
- Well, that's fine then.
- Great. I'll see you soon.
223
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:55,855
And there's no problems from your side,
no?
224
00:10:56,493 --> 00:11:01,420
No, not really. To be honest, we're no
huge fans of Reid-o the Paedo, either.
225
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:02,699
Great. Great.
226
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:06,335
That's bloody brilliant then. Yeah.
All sorted.
227
00:11:06,653 --> 00:11:09,543
See you next week, so.
Don't forget your Red Indian friend.
228
00:11:09,613 --> 00:11:14,460
Oh, the gang bang thing, yeah,
that's a good one.
229
00:11:15,653 --> 00:11:16,859
All sorted.
230
00:11:20,773 --> 00:11:24,858
This is your life line,
and this is your fortune line.
231
00:11:25,413 --> 00:11:28,542
I thought that was from when Sinead
cut me for pinching her fig roll.
232
00:11:29,813 --> 00:11:32,054
And this is your love line.
233
00:11:32,773 --> 00:11:35,856
- How's that looking?
- Well, it's barely started, has it?
234
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,981
From the tiniest acorns
grow the biggest...
235
00:11:40,053 --> 00:11:41,862
- Is that snot?
- Uh...
236
00:11:42,213 --> 00:11:44,614
- No, I'm sure that's not.
- It looks like snot.
237
00:11:45,493 --> 00:11:48,940
- Yes, it certainly does.
- Lunch is almost over.
238
00:11:49,213 --> 00:11:52,535
I, uh... I got to go get Tato
from the canteen.
239
00:11:54,453 --> 00:11:55,978
Do something, Martin!
240
00:11:56,893 --> 00:11:58,383
Majella, wait!
241
00:11:59,213 --> 00:12:00,897
It's not my snot.
242
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:07,218
Oh, wait, that's more disgusting,
isn't it?
243
00:12:10,413 --> 00:12:15,055
Well, this must be the most original
place to ever start a stag night, huh?
244
00:12:15,173 --> 00:12:16,618
I beg to differ.
245
00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:18,855
H Block, Strangeways, 1974.
246
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:21,974
A prison stag? What was that like?
247
00:12:22,173 --> 00:12:23,220
The fight was brilliant.
248
00:12:23,293 --> 00:12:25,182
- The strippers were ropey, though.
- Right.
249
00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:28,177
The very men! Shh! Follow me, lads.
250
00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:31,783
He thinks I'm still in there.
251
00:12:31,853 --> 00:12:35,300
Last night, when I messed up
the flower dress.
252
00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:39,659
And Tuesday, I took the Lord's name
in vain when I stalled the greener.
253
00:12:39,813 --> 00:12:43,215
And, well, because of Fidelma's situ,
254
00:12:43,773 --> 00:12:45,104
and my urges,
255
00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:48,262
last night when I was alone,
I took advantage of meself.
256
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,176
Surprise!
257
00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:53,258
Oh, my word!
I thought you were still in...
258
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,939
I left ages ago.
259
00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:58,664
- That's unsettling.
- This is your stag party.
260
00:12:58,733 --> 00:13:01,384
We'll give you five Hail Marys
and 10 Bloody Marys.
261
00:13:01,453 --> 00:13:03,979
Oh, yeah!
262
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,860
- Who are you?
- Oh, sorry. Gerry Bonner.
263
00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:08,981
That's Jim Manion and Frank Fahen.
264
00:13:09,053 --> 00:13:11,215
I'll give you 20 Our Fathers
for the cheeky wank.
265
00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:12,579
All right, Frank, all right.
266
00:13:12,653 --> 00:13:15,020
So, you're my stags?
267
00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:19,619
Oh, well... Oh, God, I feel like
the most popular man in Boyle.
268
00:13:19,693 --> 00:13:23,061
Listen, I thought we'd kick things off
with a quick Mass.
269
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,977
- A Mass?
- Yeah.
270
00:13:26,053 --> 00:13:28,101
A stag Mass. Men only!
271
00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:32,094
Better get started, lads.
Padraic's on the clock.
272
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:38,101
Jail stag's a lot better
than this shite.
273
00:13:41,573 --> 00:13:44,816
I'll be up in a minute.
Waiting for this carrot cake to kick in.
274
00:13:44,893 --> 00:13:46,657
Speaking of carrot,
how big is Dessie's?
275
00:13:46,733 --> 00:13:49,304
- Don't answer that, Delma.
- I wasn't going to.
276
00:13:49,373 --> 00:13:52,582
- What time are The Chicken Dales due?
- Oh, I'd say about ten minutes, ladies.
277
00:13:52,653 --> 00:13:56,021
Right. Whose turn is it to go
under the party pants?
278
00:13:56,213 --> 00:13:59,057
I think it's Fidelma's,
but maybe she needs a minute.
279
00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:04,816
That was a reading
from the jolly Book of Judges.
280
00:14:05,173 --> 00:14:07,221
- Thanks be to God.
- Thanks be to God.
281
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:11,378
That piece of scripture,
where the tale of Samson is described
282
00:14:11,453 --> 00:14:15,060
reminds me
of when a certain young man...
283
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:16,373
Here we go!
284
00:14:16,453 --> 00:14:19,184
...got a particularly
bad haircut one time.
285
00:14:19,253 --> 00:14:20,903
Sweet Lord! What's happening now?
286
00:14:21,573 --> 00:14:23,940
I think he's giving us
his best man sermon.
287
00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:28,257
It wasn't so much his strength
that he lost, as his sense of style.
288
00:14:28,613 --> 00:14:32,663
I know exactly, though,
what he means.
289
00:14:37,173 --> 00:14:39,221
I mean,
you could just go over there, buddy.
290
00:14:39,293 --> 00:14:40,499
Say what?
291
00:14:40,573 --> 00:14:43,179
"Hi, I'm Martin.
Does anyone need any snot?"
292
00:14:43,253 --> 00:14:46,621
No, no.
Look, they're having a bonfire.
293
00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:49,016
Do you have marshmallows?
294
00:14:49,093 --> 00:14:51,221
You know I always have marshmallows.
295
00:14:51,293 --> 00:14:54,376
Well, go spread your sugar love,
little fella.
296
00:14:55,933 --> 00:14:58,061
♪ Know where you got the notion ♪
297
00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,259
Oh, yeah, baby.
298
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,576
- All right, lads. Bit of bad news.
- You're putting this song on, again?
299
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:05,304
- The Chicken Dales cancelled.
- Shut the up!
300
00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:06,784
There was a bad accident
at the slaughter house.
301
00:15:06,853 --> 00:15:08,343
One of the lads was choking the chicken.
302
00:15:08,413 --> 00:15:11,064
- I'm going to kill myself.
- Look! Maybe, we could go into town.
303
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:12,817
I bet there's a bouncer
at Rockin' Robin's.
304
00:15:12,893 --> 00:15:14,497
We could all get dolled up and go disco.
305
00:15:14,573 --> 00:15:15,699
Dolled up?
306
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,579
Would your brother strip for cash?
307
00:15:26,453 --> 00:15:28,501
So, we're doing homework.
308
00:15:28,733 --> 00:15:30,815
I'm behind in geography.
I'm really sorry.
309
00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:32,895
- You can head home if you want to.
- No, no, it's just...
310
00:15:32,973 --> 00:15:34,543
I saw the bonfire, and I thought...
311
00:15:34,613 --> 00:15:36,263
There's bonfire every fecking night.
312
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,574
I'm surprised I haven't turned
into a bloody marshmallow.
313
00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:44,984
Do you not like being a traveller?
314
00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:47,375
Yeah, it can be a bit lonely, sometimes.
315
00:15:47,453 --> 00:15:50,821
I'm worried Tato will get lost
and won't be able to find his way home.
316
00:15:51,253 --> 00:15:55,383
But you're like one of those explorers
looking for the Spice Islands.
317
00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:57,740
Like some sort of Spice Girl!
318
00:15:58,173 --> 00:15:59,902
If you can imagine such a thing.
319
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,382
Majella, you're like a lady version
of Marco Polo.
320
00:16:03,853 --> 00:16:04,854
Like Magellan.
321
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,864
Who?
322
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:11,255
Come on, lads!
The marshmallows are on!
323
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:12,937
Feck's sake.
324
00:16:22,693 --> 00:16:24,377
Oh, good times.
325
00:16:27,748 --> 00:16:29,708
Means a lot to me that you
came out tonight, Liam.
326
00:16:29,733 --> 00:16:32,100
I, uh, wouldn't have missed it.
327
00:16:32,173 --> 00:16:34,779
And you, too, Liam's friends.
328
00:16:34,853 --> 00:16:37,333
I didn't think I was allowed inside
a priest's house since the fire.
329
00:16:37,493 --> 00:16:41,862
Tea and biscuits. The works.
330
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:44,823
Where's the housekeeper?
I thought all priests had housekeepers.
331
00:16:44,893 --> 00:16:46,463
Maybe in Dallas, they do.
332
00:16:46,733 --> 00:16:49,384
I was thinking we could watch a video.
333
00:16:49,693 --> 00:16:52,583
And there's an old copy
of Grease 2 floating around out there.
334
00:16:52,653 --> 00:16:54,143
What do you think of that, lads?
335
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:59,188
I'll tell you what, Father,
how about a drinking game?
336
00:16:59,213 --> 00:17:00,942
All right.
337
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:04,813
I'm sure you have a bottle of something,
left over from a funeral, or...
338
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:07,464
I think there's a bottle of Cinzano
in the freezer, all right.
339
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:08,773
Now, we're talking!
340
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,537
- Dessie, grab my Bible.
- Aw...
341
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,820
There's a super drinking game
we used to play in the seminaries.
342
00:17:12,893 --> 00:17:14,418
No, no, no, no, no.
343
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:17,383
You have to take a shot,
every time the word "begat" is used
344
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,421
and Chronicles is a whore for the begat!
345
00:17:33,893 --> 00:17:35,383
♪ In touch... ♪
346
00:17:35,453 --> 00:17:36,864
You know, I've been thinking.
347
00:17:36,933 --> 00:17:40,654
If you decide to leave this field,
which would be a pity,
348
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,414
I'd like to come with you,
so you won't get lonely.
349
00:17:43,493 --> 00:17:45,780
- You wanna be a traveller?
- Yes!
350
00:17:45,853 --> 00:17:47,821
Wait, can you get carsick on a trailer?
351
00:17:47,893 --> 00:17:50,419
That's a nice thing to say, Martin.
352
00:17:51,013 --> 00:17:58,864
♪ Smell like I sound, I'm lost... ♪
353
00:17:58,933 --> 00:18:01,095
Oh, I've lost him surely.
354
00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:05,141
I've lost the only playboy
in the Western world.
355
00:18:05,213 --> 00:18:09,104
# And I'm hungry
356
00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:15,375
♪ Like the wolf ♪
357
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,903
How are you getting on, Delma?
It's gone past midnight, love.
358
00:18:23,053 --> 00:18:26,057
Here is a lipstick tip, Sinead. Okay.
Boys-wise.
359
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,535
Pink for wink. Red for the bed.
Did you get me?
360
00:18:28,613 --> 00:18:30,263
Taxi's here!
361
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,823
Okay, we're gonna get in the first car,
362
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,895
so I can grease the wheels
with Amy's brother,
363
00:18:33,973 --> 00:18:36,579
and you can follow
with the bride and baby.
364
00:18:45,413 --> 00:18:46,983
Maybe we should stay in.
365
00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:49,101
Yeah. I'll go cut some ham.
366
00:18:49,173 --> 00:18:51,619
She'll be peckish when she wakes.
367
00:18:55,053 --> 00:18:57,659
"And Lamech lived 182 years,
368
00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:00,498
- "And begat..."
- Begat!
369
00:19:04,653 --> 00:19:06,735
"A son and he called his name Noah."
370
00:19:09,093 --> 00:19:10,424
It mentioned Noah.
371
00:19:10,493 --> 00:19:12,939
That means you have to finish
the bottle of wine like it's water.
372
00:19:13,013 --> 00:19:16,142
Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's if the Lord performs a miracle.
373
00:19:16,213 --> 00:19:17,624
What does Noah mean then?
374
00:19:17,693 --> 00:19:19,138
You have to drown your drink,
375
00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:20,738
and then the next time an animal
is next mentioned
376
00:19:20,813 --> 00:19:23,339
you have to go and get two of them
and bring them back to the house!
377
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:25,256
Whose turn is it?
378
00:19:25,493 --> 00:19:26,733
I think it's Frank's turn.
379
00:19:26,813 --> 00:19:28,861
Frank! Frank! Frank!
380
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,421
Animals! Animals! Go!
381
00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:34,982
I did that one an hour ago.
382
00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:39,215
Liam, I believe it's you.
383
00:19:39,453 --> 00:19:41,342
All right, Gerry. Hit me with it.
384
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,700
Right. "And so that
he may have an opportunity
385
00:19:43,773 --> 00:19:46,458
"to fall upon us to make slaves
of those... are donkeys!"
386
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:49,377
- Donkeys!
- Donkeys! Donkeys!
387
00:19:49,453 --> 00:19:50,579
Oh, wait, lads.
388
00:19:51,653 --> 00:19:53,940
I know exactly where I can find
two donkeys.
389
00:19:56,973 --> 00:20:00,420
Mind you, he's a lucky man 'cause he's
just missed out on the locusts.
390
00:20:07,093 --> 00:20:08,254
Intruders!
391
00:20:09,453 --> 00:20:12,218
Call the pigs, Bernadette.
Someone's on our land!
392
00:20:16,053 --> 00:20:19,375
Call them on what?
393
00:20:19,453 --> 00:20:22,343
They're coming from over there!
394
00:20:30,373 --> 00:20:34,901
I heard there might be rain
and these donkeys aren't rust-proof.
395
00:20:39,093 --> 00:20:40,697
It's a very serious matter, Liam.
396
00:20:41,253 --> 00:20:42,743
Listen, uh...
397
00:20:43,253 --> 00:20:44,698
- John-Joe.
- John-Joe!
398
00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:46,944
I feel terrible.
399
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:50,415
We were just playing a silly stag game
400
00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,780
where you have to find two animals.
401
00:20:52,853 --> 00:20:54,264
Uh, Noah's Ark, isn't it?
402
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,017
Yeah! It was actually.
403
00:20:56,093 --> 00:20:58,824
Don't worry, poster boy.
I won't be pressing charges.
404
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,293
- Really?
- Wouldn't be very neighbourly, would it?
405
00:21:02,853 --> 00:21:05,459
Treat thy neighbour as you wish to be
treated yourself, huh?
406
00:21:06,213 --> 00:21:07,374
That's very good of you.
407
00:21:07,453 --> 00:21:09,979
So, uh, you can head home
to your husband, Pat.
408
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:12,253
Though it's probably past bedtime,
isn't it?
409
00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:14,774
It is, actually.
410
00:21:18,413 --> 00:21:20,700
Listen, John-Joe,
I really appreciate this...
411
00:21:20,773 --> 00:21:23,014
You can let yourself out, Moone!
412
00:21:45,213 --> 00:21:46,374
Oh, you got me, lads.
413
00:21:46,453 --> 00:21:48,376
I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep,
414
00:21:48,453 --> 00:21:51,024
but seriously, though, will you...
Will you take me down?
415
00:21:51,093 --> 00:21:53,414
I, I think this is
kind of sacrilegious.
416
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:56,175
Now, this is more like jail stag.
417
00:21:58,253 --> 00:22:28,587
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