All language subtitles for Moone Boy - 02x03 - Ghost Raft

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,073 It was the summer of 1990. and Martin and Padraic... 2 00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:09,472 ...had decided to build a river raft. 3 00:00:09,527 --> 00:00:12,114 It was their most exciting construction project yet. 4 00:00:12,115 --> 00:00:13,656 A bold, brilliant idea. 5 00:00:13,657 --> 00:00:16,692 Although neither of them could remember what had actually inspired it. 6 00:00:16,721 --> 00:00:20,161 "We said there warn't no home like a raft, after all." 7 00:00:20,162 --> 00:00:24,611 "Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, 8 00:00:24,612 --> 00:00:29,420 ...but a raft don't. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft." 9 00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:32,555 - Raft - Smotherly butter. 10 00:00:33,817 --> 00:00:37,788 Their plan was simple. As simple as two young simpletons. 11 00:00:37,888 --> 00:00:40,197 We'll sail into town on a boasting hot day... 12 00:00:40,198 --> 00:00:41,216 and eat ice creams. 13 00:00:41,217 --> 00:00:43,346 And all of our friends can go swimming off it! 14 00:00:43,446 --> 00:00:46,272 Yeah! We'll be the most popular lads in town. 15 00:00:46,273 --> 00:00:49,640 Two virile young fellas rockin' the waves...like Wham! 16 00:00:52,967 --> 00:00:57,022 But following some construction setbacks including Padraic's biscuit based stripe... 17 00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:59,902 ...it was nearly November by the time the raft was finished. 18 00:00:59,903 --> 00:01:02,781 So our silly little seaman made a new plan. 19 00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:06,468 We'll turn it into a halloween ghost ship! 20 00:01:06,469 --> 00:01:09,718 A ghost raft! And sail into town, and freak everyone out. 21 00:01:09,818 --> 00:01:12,139 Yeah! We'll be the most popular lads in town. 22 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,028 Like Erasure! 23 00:01:13,128 --> 00:01:17,300 No Padraic. We'll be the scariest, most frightening, terrifying lads in town. 24 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,237 Who are also loved by everyone! Like the Culture Club! 25 00:01:21,052 --> 00:01:24,143 So when we throw Padraic overboard how do we make it look like an accident? 26 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,421 ♪ Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper 27 00:01:32,421 --> 00:01:35,129 ♪ Wait a minute, where's me jumper? 28 00:01:35,234 --> 00:01:36,712 ♪ Where's me jumper? 29 00:01:36,712 --> 00:01:37,855 ♪ Where's me jumper? 30 00:01:37,855 --> 00:01:39,583 ♪ Where's me jumper? 31 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:42,624 ♪ Where's me jumper? Oh, no ♪ 32 00:01:43,696 --> 00:01:46,786 And on this Sunday, the eve of all hallows... 33 00:01:46,803 --> 00:01:51,159 ...I'd like to extend a very special hallow and welcome back Father Roche... 34 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,251 ...from his missionary work in the depths of the Amazon. 35 00:01:54,275 --> 00:01:58,039 Sounds like he had an absolutely lovely time. 36 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:02,382 and the rumors of him "Going Native" are grossly exaggerated. 37 00:02:07,134 --> 00:02:10,585 No, really, they are. So let's put a stop to that gossip now. 38 00:02:11,573 --> 00:02:13,701 Now let's have a reading from St. Paul. 39 00:02:17,482 --> 00:02:20,649 A reading of the letter of St. Paul to the Colossians. 40 00:02:20,650 --> 00:02:25,169 Brothers and sisters, put on as God's chosen ones... 41 00:02:25,243 --> 00:02:27,434 I'm not sure about your choice of reader Father. 42 00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:31,338 Fidelma? Oh, she's one of the best readers in her school. 43 00:02:31,339 --> 00:02:35,292 Lovely diction. Always, always puts the pauses in the right places. 44 00:02:35,392 --> 00:02:37,043 Pregnant pauses, are they? 45 00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:42,539 I, I suppose that Del there might be a bit pregnant, Yes Sir. 46 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:46,980 But listen to her. She makes those Colosians come alive. 47 00:02:46,981 --> 00:02:49,625 I don't think that being a pregnant unmarried teenager 48 00:02:49,626 --> 00:02:52,571 ...has any affect on the quality of her reading. 49 00:02:53,147 --> 00:02:55,729 This is the... Oo, Jesus. 50 00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:58,598 Sorry. He gave a little kick. 51 00:02:59,573 --> 00:03:03,187 Where was I? End of Bible? 52 00:03:03,578 --> 00:03:05,112 Thanks be to God. 53 00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:08,200 Thank you, see you now. Thank you. Thank you. 54 00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:10,939 Oh, Fidelma? Lovely, lovely, lovely reading. 55 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,101 I wondered, could I have a quick word? 56 00:03:13,201 --> 00:03:16,119 It'll have to be quick Father. I haven't had a wee in 9 minutes. 57 00:03:16,219 --> 00:03:19,190 It, it's a little bit of a delicate matter you could say but... 58 00:03:21,072 --> 00:03:22,906 Looking good, buddy. 59 00:03:22,907 --> 00:03:26,150 We're going to be the best plumbers in all of Boyle. 60 00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:29,228 We're not plumbers, we're ghost busters. 61 00:03:29,319 --> 00:03:32,136 What? No. I thought we were the Super Mario Brothers. 62 00:03:32,958 --> 00:03:35,352 Don't I look like I could bust a ghost? 63 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,787 Uuh, You look like you could bust a clogged drain. 64 00:03:37,887 --> 00:03:41,094 Wait, wait. If I'm not a Mario Brother why does this keep happening? 65 00:03:41,926 --> 00:03:44,069 Oh, that's an imaginary friend fart. 66 00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:45,694 What you doin' out there Martin? 67 00:03:48,892 --> 00:03:50,595 Um, going trick or treating. 68 00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:51,708 It's 1PM. 69 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,588 Got to start early to get the best sweets. 70 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,691 Aren't you a bit old for trick or treating? 71 00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:58,358 Ah Trisha, let Martin cling on to his childhood if he wants. 72 00:03:58,442 --> 00:04:01,268 Soon enough, he'll be stuck in some dead end job where his only treat... 73 00:04:01,269 --> 00:04:04,156 ...is a bit of peace and quiet, and his whole life will be... 74 00:04:04,157 --> 00:04:06,061 ...like some sad bad trick. 75 00:04:08,477 --> 00:04:11,601 But that's if the Astronaut thing doesn't work out pal. 76 00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:12,982 Or the jockey thing. 77 00:04:13,025 --> 00:04:16,635 - I thought you were afraid of horses. - Not afraid Trisha. Allergic. 78 00:04:16,738 --> 00:04:18,344 Are you goin' trick or treating Sinead? 79 00:04:18,444 --> 00:04:19,913 - No. - You're usually mad for sweets. 80 00:04:20,013 --> 00:04:22,249 Shut up talking about sweets! You're all obsessed! 81 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:26,173 - Huh, She's chirpy, for a Sunday. - I think some bitch at school... 82 00:04:26,273 --> 00:04:27,570 Trisha, language. 83 00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:32,520 Some girl in Sinead's class has been teasing her about being a little bit, fat. 84 00:04:33,179 --> 00:04:35,266 - Bitch! - That's what I was saying. 85 00:04:35,425 --> 00:04:37,061 - We should talk to her. - Sinead isn't fat. 86 00:04:37,161 --> 00:04:38,235 I know. 87 00:04:38,335 --> 00:04:41,246 I mean, she might be a little bit plump, but that's just puppy fat. 88 00:04:41,247 --> 00:04:44,183 I mean she's like a little plump, dog. 89 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,849 Maybe I'll talk to her alone. 90 00:04:47,932 --> 00:04:49,513 Ahoy Moones! 91 00:04:49,676 --> 00:04:53,181 Aww, look at his little face. Are you some sort of bear, Padraic? 92 00:04:53,281 --> 00:04:54,902 - Well, a Beaver Mrs. M. - Beaver? 93 00:04:55,022 --> 00:04:56,484 The bears of the river! 94 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:59,745 Not that there's any reason to mention a river. 95 00:04:59,819 --> 00:05:04,279 But, bears go into rivers. Aren't bears the bears of the river? 96 00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:09,114 Trisha, always with the jokes. Ah, you're a gas when all together. 97 00:05:09,397 --> 00:05:10,896 Heh, we should go. 98 00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:13,031 Time to set sail on the ghost raft. 99 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:19,440 Sometimes we call trick or treating setting sail on the ghost raft... 100 00:05:19,441 --> 00:05:21,177 cause it's so exciting. 101 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:23,079 Well, that's not confusing at all. 102 00:05:23,534 --> 00:05:27,341 There she goes again. The Irish Jim Davidson, ye are. 103 00:05:30,653 --> 00:05:33,175 If you're here to talk about, sweets... 104 00:05:33,176 --> 00:05:35,823 ...chips or some nonsense. 105 00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:37,559 I don't care. I'm not interested. 106 00:05:37,967 --> 00:05:39,875 Not unless you have a Cornetto. Do you have a Cornetto? 107 00:05:39,954 --> 00:05:41,665 - No. - Then what do you want? 108 00:05:41,895 --> 00:05:45,106 Are you feeling a little self-conscious about your body, Pet? 109 00:05:45,149 --> 00:05:46,860 Hah. No, I look amazing. 110 00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:48,993 It's just that Trisha said... 111 00:05:48,999 --> 00:05:51,961 Ruth Connolly told Ailish O'Rourke that I stole her lunch. 112 00:05:51,962 --> 00:05:54,291 Ailish O'Rourke said that I could do with... 113 00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:55,893 ...skipping a meal now and then. 114 00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:59,106 - Now that's just mean. Why would Ruth... - I did steal her lunch. 115 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,603 Why did you steal her lunch? 116 00:06:01,757 --> 00:06:03,512 Cause I was hungry. 117 00:06:03,551 --> 00:06:06,872 's I'm always hungry cause I'm a big fat whale. 118 00:06:06,987 --> 00:06:10,113 I'm slipping out to the shops. Does anyone fancy a Cornetto? 119 00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:17,625 This way Crunchie Haystacks! 120 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,374 I'm the undertaking wrestler! 121 00:06:20,637 --> 00:06:24,906 An undertaker and a plumber. Like a low rent village people. 122 00:06:24,907 --> 00:06:25,915 What's with the bottle? 123 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:30,020 - It's embalming fluid, for embalming. - Oh yeah? 124 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,044 Padraic really pays attention to detail. We'll see you down there. 125 00:06:36,588 --> 00:06:40,444 A coffin boffin and a gutter nutter. The werewolves must be shittin' themselves. 126 00:06:49,248 --> 00:06:52,028 This is going to be so great. Everyone is going to be so freaked out... 127 00:06:52,029 --> 00:06:54,157 ...when we sail into town on the ghost raft. 128 00:06:54,257 --> 00:06:57,460 Yeah, big time. Although, call me crazy, aren't... 129 00:06:57,461 --> 00:07:00,880 ...ghost rafts supposed to have nobody on them? 130 00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:02,454 Isn't that what a ghost ship is? 131 00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:04,655 Well imagine how freaky it will be... 132 00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:06,365 ...when people see us on it! 133 00:07:06,476 --> 00:07:07,777 Yeahh! 134 00:07:07,816 --> 00:07:09,310 All aboard, Martin! 135 00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:11,298 Freaky and confused. 136 00:07:11,734 --> 00:07:13,428 Keep'em guessing. 137 00:07:15,074 --> 00:07:17,773 It isn't sinking. We actually built a raft! 138 00:07:17,873 --> 00:07:19,103 We're the bears of the river! 139 00:07:22,781 --> 00:07:26,059 Just one Cornetto 140 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,470 Yeah. 141 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,071 give it to me 142 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:31,636 Lovely voice. 143 00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,891 So what was Father Linehan chatting to you about earlier? 144 00:07:39,991 --> 00:07:41,003 Oh nothing really. 145 00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,546 Just saying he doesn't want me to read at Mass anymore. 146 00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:43,667 Really? 147 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,082 Said he was worried all the reading might hurt the baby. 148 00:07:45,182 --> 00:07:49,440 Well, like that makes sense. Priests really know their stuff. 149 00:07:49,540 --> 00:07:52,171 When you were pregnant you said that washing the dishes might hurt the baby. 150 00:07:53,657 --> 00:07:57,003 - Yeah. Because of the... - Soapy sores, I think you said? 151 00:07:58,663 --> 00:08:00,665 - Mm-hm, That's right. - Anyway, I don't care. 152 00:08:00,765 --> 00:08:02,266 One less thing to worry about if you ask me. 153 00:08:05,286 --> 00:08:08,471 That's weird, isn't it? I mean she's the best reader in Boyle. 154 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,110 Oh, hands down. Especially since that nun died. 155 00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:13,880 - So they don't want her to read just because she's... - Up the pole? 156 00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:16,310 With child. Is what I was going to say. 157 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,749 Suppose they just don't want, an unmarried teenage reader whose, you know... 158 00:08:19,849 --> 00:08:21,303 - Got a trout in the well? - Trisha. 159 00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:24,525 What? What are you barking at me for? She's the one who... 160 00:08:24,625 --> 00:08:26,144 - Stop right there! - Go on, let me do one more. 161 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,342 No. 162 00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:29,969 Soapy sores, Mom? 163 00:08:30,917 --> 00:08:32,101 Last one. 164 00:08:32,201 --> 00:08:34,298 She's the one who's shittin' for two. 165 00:08:37,524 --> 00:08:40,153 - That was worth the wait, I think. - It was, actually. 166 00:08:42,702 --> 00:08:45,103 This is the life. 167 00:08:45,203 --> 00:08:48,203 All the excitement of the sea with the dependable assurance of the river. 168 00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:51,030 I haven't felt this relaxed since I broke Pretty Pete Dixon's collar bone 169 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,500 ...in the Salford smack-down of '82. 170 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,826 Maybe we should sing a sea shanty. 171 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,542 We should totally sing a sea shanty. 172 00:08:57,642 --> 00:09:00,298 - I love shanting! - Alright Crunchie, alright. 173 00:09:00,392 --> 00:09:02,592 Wait. Do we know any sea shanties? 174 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,378 Eh, Hello? Biggest nautical hit of 1988. 175 00:09:06,469 --> 00:09:10,712 Let me sail, let me sail, let the Orinoco flow. 176 00:09:10,713 --> 00:09:14,398 Let me beach, let me reach far beyond the yellow sea. 177 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,282 Oh, Yeah! 178 00:09:37,974 --> 00:09:40,999 Sail away, sail away sail away 179 00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:45,131 Sail away, sail away sail away 180 00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:49,275 Sail away, sail away sail away 181 00:09:49,452 --> 00:09:50,670 Sail away 182 00:09:50,671 --> 00:09:53,240 Sail away, sail away sail away 183 00:09:54,738 --> 00:09:57,837 Wait. This isn't town. 184 00:09:57,838 --> 00:09:59,193 Where the hell are we? 185 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,513 The river went the wrong way! 186 00:10:01,613 --> 00:10:03,017 Stupid feckin' river! 187 00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,825 Padraic, swim back to shore and get help, will you!? 188 00:10:05,925 --> 00:10:08,209 - Me? - You're a beaver aren't you? 189 00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:11,592 Martin! This is an 84% wool to nylon blend. 190 00:10:11,692 --> 00:10:13,855 - Oh not this nonsense again. - I'm fairly sure I'd drown. 191 00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:15,820 So, only fairly sure? 192 00:10:16,055 --> 00:10:17,569 It's good enough for me. 193 00:10:18,654 --> 00:10:20,341 Was that a wolf? 194 00:10:20,391 --> 00:10:22,440 Martin, aren't you allergic to wolves? 195 00:10:22,799 --> 00:10:25,813 Not allergic Sean, afraid. 196 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,440 Oh, Hello Mrs. Moone. 197 00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:38,658 You asked Fidelma not to read anymore. 198 00:10:38,758 --> 00:10:40,876 - What? Well, I... - It's not fair to fire her, 199 00:10:40,976 --> 00:10:44,224 just because she's got a trout... cause she's, with child. 200 00:10:47,455 --> 00:10:49,356 You think I wanted to let Fidelma go? 201 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,542 It was like ripping off a limb. She's the best reader in Boyle. 202 00:10:52,642 --> 00:10:54,410 Since Sister Ann slipped on that step anyway. 203 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,975 Or was pushed. Let's not go into that now. 204 00:10:57,075 --> 00:11:00,078 The thing is, Father Roche is the senior priest... 205 00:11:00,079 --> 00:11:02,795 ...and he feels, it's just not appropriate. 206 00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:04,521 - What do you think? - It doesn't matter. 207 00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:05,813 He's the head of the parish. 208 00:11:05,814 --> 00:11:07,833 In priest terms he's Paul Simon. 209 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,805 I'm just big stupid Garfunkel. 210 00:11:09,905 --> 00:11:12,046 Maybe it's time for you to go solo. 211 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,840 You mean finally start my own religion? 212 00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:17,650 I mean...maybe it's time for you to break the sound of 213 00:11:17,651 --> 00:11:21,245 silence Father and face that troubled bridge head on. 214 00:11:21,901 --> 00:11:25,288 You're right Debra. I'll talk to Father Roche. 215 00:11:25,288 --> 00:11:28,347 And not just because I'm impressed by your S and G knowledge. 216 00:11:29,076 --> 00:11:30,482 Howareya. 217 00:11:31,127 --> 00:11:32,312 Howareya. 218 00:11:32,788 --> 00:11:35,876 Well, He's right there. Why don't you talk to him now? 219 00:11:35,876 --> 00:11:36,894 - Now? - Yeah. 220 00:11:38,179 --> 00:11:39,215 - Now? - Ah for Fu... 221 00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:41,397 Wait, wait, wait. I'll do something. 222 00:11:41,398 --> 00:11:42,329 I will. 223 00:11:42,383 --> 00:11:45,566 - When? - Tonight, at Mass. 224 00:11:45,614 --> 00:11:47,210 See you there. 225 00:11:48,255 --> 00:11:50,308 We've already been to mass today. 226 00:12:01,474 --> 00:12:03,306 I think I want to live on the raft. 227 00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:07,486 Boy up, Beaver. Let's just call in to this big creepy house. 228 00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:17,657 Happy Halloween! 229 00:12:18,547 --> 00:12:22,364 Hi Mister. We got marooned on your island and we kinda need some help. 230 00:12:23,518 --> 00:12:25,269 Are you not going to sing a song or anything? 231 00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:28,943 Uh No, we're not trick or treating. Do you have a phone? 232 00:12:29,239 --> 00:12:32,525 - Or a hover craft? - I'm still not hearing the song, lads. 233 00:12:32,525 --> 00:12:35,140 - No, no, we're actually here to... - Ah lads... 234 00:12:35,141 --> 00:12:37,234 ...no song, no sweets. 235 00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:43,913 You wake me up, before you go go. 236 00:12:43,914 --> 00:12:47,036 Don't leave me hanging on like a Yo-Yo 237 00:12:47,136 --> 00:12:50,000 You wake me up, before you go go 238 00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:54,644 Don't leave me hanging on, baby toniiiight, hah 239 00:12:55,654 --> 00:12:57,359 - Come on in lads. - Right. 240 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,216 Listen Sinead. I've been thinking about your little problem. 241 00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:03,972 - Martin? - No, no, the weight thing. 242 00:13:04,072 --> 00:13:05,206 I know what I'm going to do. 243 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,848 Because, you know I run the weight watchers class and I could work... 244 00:13:07,848 --> 00:13:10,728 ...a regime for you based on your body mass index, ya know. 245 00:13:10,729 --> 00:13:13,007 a reduction of glucose, cut out the white wine, basically. 246 00:13:13,107 --> 00:13:15,970 Look mom, I'm already bored of this conversation. 247 00:13:15,971 --> 00:13:18,892 I'm just going to lay low, stay out of the public eye. Just hide, basically. 248 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:26,188 Ah, Father Roche, about that Fidelma Moone situation... 249 00:13:26,285 --> 00:13:29,522 Did you happen to find a little pin cushion in here anywhere, Father? 250 00:13:29,962 --> 00:13:31,695 Eh, What does it look like? 251 00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:34,859 It looks like a little person. 252 00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,057 Em, No. 253 00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,045 Listen. I know you've been away, Father. 254 00:13:42,145 --> 00:13:45,927 But I think it is important that this is an inclusive, progressive church. 255 00:13:46,027 --> 00:13:48,969 - You think that that's important? - I really do. 256 00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:51,180 I don't know when I told you to think that. 257 00:13:52,197 --> 00:13:55,027 It would be more in your interest to clean your bloody room. 258 00:13:55,155 --> 00:13:57,508 Then I might be able to find my things. 259 00:13:57,639 --> 00:13:59,219 Yes, Father. 260 00:14:00,032 --> 00:14:01,852 Here's my goats blood! 261 00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:05,691 For cooking. 262 00:14:14,106 --> 00:14:15,658 Give me Strength 263 00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:20,205 SIMON & GARFUNKEL THE SOUND OF SILENCE 264 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:26,349 Every Halloween I put out that bowl of sweets. 265 00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,784 But no one ever comes. 266 00:14:27,884 --> 00:14:30,452 Does anyone else live on this island? 267 00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:33,047 Not to me knowledge. Just me and the wolves. 268 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,328 I wasn't going to put the bowl out this year though. 269 00:14:36,428 --> 00:14:38,483 I says to meself "Why Bother"? 270 00:14:38,484 --> 00:14:39,510 "Should no one will come." 271 00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:43,519 Then I said to meself "Shut up Joe, you big stupid bastard, 272 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,678 and put out the bowl and someone will come." 273 00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:50,719 And they did come. Two persons. A plumber and an otter. 274 00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:53,303 So, you're Joe. 275 00:14:53,373 --> 00:14:57,628 That's what they call me. Island Joe. Joe of the Island. 276 00:14:57,761 --> 00:15:01,961 And I'm Martin...of the Boyle. and this is Padraic. 277 00:15:01,962 --> 00:15:04,685 of...just outside the Boyle. 278 00:15:05,489 --> 00:15:06,917 I'm a beaver. 279 00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,211 This was a beaver once. 280 00:15:10,061 --> 00:15:11,916 - What happened to it? - Island Joe. 281 00:15:12,016 --> 00:15:17,113 That's what happened to it. The bears of the river, my hole. 282 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:21,519 Quick question for you lads. 283 00:15:21,519 --> 00:15:25,199 Which one of yous can hold your breath under water the longest? 284 00:15:26,503 --> 00:15:28,180 We'll soon see. 285 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,952 - What's happened? - I think it's a protest Mass. 286 00:15:54,052 --> 00:15:54,973 A what? 287 00:15:55,073 --> 00:15:58,998 - I've never seen one in the flesh. - Seen what? Nothin's happening. 289 00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:16,423 How do you do it? 290 00:16:16,424 --> 00:16:20,013 I just imagine myself Tom Sawyer and slave Jim have money on it. 291 00:16:20,069 --> 00:16:21,401 Who are they? 292 00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:24,079 I have no idea. 293 00:16:24,257 --> 00:16:26,292 Hah, the lack of oxygen is driving you mad! 294 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,607 Hold your ground, Father. 295 00:16:43,407 --> 00:16:45,859 It's time for boy to become man. 296 00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:10,654 God, he's really coming into his own now isn't he? 297 00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:18,515 - This is great stuff, isn't it lads? - Yeah. 298 00:17:20,336 --> 00:17:24,015 - Lads, are ye real? - Whut? 299 00:17:24,115 --> 00:17:26,627 It's just sometimes when I come in and play ping pong in here with my friends... 300 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:28,764 ...they turn out not to be, real like. 301 00:17:29,539 --> 00:17:30,948 Maybe that's why I always win. 302 00:17:31,048 --> 00:17:33,258 - No. We're real. - Really? 303 00:17:33,358 --> 00:17:34,258 Yeah, really. 304 00:17:34,807 --> 00:17:36,092 Great stuff. 305 00:17:41,443 --> 00:17:41,928 Whaa? 306 00:17:42,527 --> 00:17:43,875 "Are you real?" 307 00:17:44,257 --> 00:17:45,503 What a weirdo. 308 00:17:46,651 --> 00:17:48,972 "Are you real?" 309 00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:50,267 Bizarre. 310 00:17:51,421 --> 00:17:53,509 No, were imagined. 311 00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:20,621 Holy shit. That was a rush. 312 00:18:21,389 --> 00:18:22,870 It was the best Mass ever. 313 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,072 Yeah, really made you think. 314 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:28,618 We have prevailed, Fidelma! You can read again. 315 00:18:28,949 --> 00:18:32,924 - Oh really? That's...good? - You don't seem too excited. 316 00:18:32,925 --> 00:18:33,925 Well it's just... 317 00:18:34,118 --> 00:18:36,468 I don't really like doing it. It's kinda tiring. 318 00:18:36,762 --> 00:18:38,706 Oh, that's disappointing. 319 00:18:38,706 --> 00:18:42,079 Wish you had mentioned that before I did the whole protest Mass and everything. 320 00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:45,569 Oh, sorry about that. Don't worry, I'll find someone else to read. 321 00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:49,642 OK. It's just that...I went through such a hoopla about the whole thing. 322 00:18:49,643 --> 00:18:52,550 It would be great if there were a pregnant teenager. 323 00:18:58,611 --> 00:19:00,718 This is my favorite Halloween ever. 324 00:19:00,818 --> 00:19:02,529 You're some man, Island Joe. 325 00:19:02,563 --> 00:19:04,969 I feel bad that you're marooned on your own out here. 326 00:19:05,069 --> 00:19:07,033 No, I have the wolves for company. 327 00:19:07,055 --> 00:19:08,674 Aren't you afraid they'll eat you? 328 00:19:08,971 --> 00:19:10,502 No, their a gentle creature. 329 00:19:10,503 --> 00:19:12,113 - Really? - Yeah. 330 00:19:12,243 --> 00:19:14,637 And if they get peckish, there's a graveyard on the island. 331 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,516 Hey, who's for the last bit of barmbrack? The ring's still in there. 332 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:20,555 A wife? That's all I need Joe! 333 00:19:22,302 --> 00:19:24,271 And the cats belong together an'tay. 334 00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:31,638 I'm getting a real ghoulie, spirity vibe out here. 335 00:19:32,525 --> 00:19:34,579 Hey, speaking of spirits... 336 00:19:38,932 --> 00:19:40,144 Thanks. 337 00:19:42,154 --> 00:19:43,385 What is that!? 338 00:19:43,754 --> 00:19:45,535 I had no where else to pee. 339 00:19:48,216 --> 00:19:50,219 Talk about ungrateful. 340 00:19:55,116 --> 00:19:58,310 - I suppose the sea biscuits... - No, we're not talking anymore now. 341 00:20:02,655 --> 00:20:06,426 Dad, I was talking to someone about Castle Island in Lough Key... 342 00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:07,175 While you were trick or treating? 343 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,685 - Yeah. - Yeah. 344 00:20:09,785 --> 00:20:12,865 Do you know there's a caretaker on his own out there? 345 00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:13,520 That's right. 346 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,960 The caretaker? Oh, he's long gone. 347 00:20:15,853 --> 00:20:17,603 - What? - Oh, Yeah. 348 00:20:17,603 --> 00:20:19,492 He died out on the island years ago. 349 00:20:20,164 --> 00:20:22,866 - He's Dead? - Yeah. 350 00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:25,150 - I think the wolves got him. - shut up. 351 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:26,703 Oh, he's dead years Martin. 352 00:20:26,902 --> 00:20:29,830 Ooh, that is freaky. That is messed up! 353 00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:31,407 The spirit of the ghost raft. 354 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:35,065 Well good night then, little plumber boy. 355 00:20:35,497 --> 00:20:37,267 I'm a ghost buster. 356 00:20:40,649 --> 00:20:42,795 There's a new fellow out there now though, isn't there? 357 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:45,738 Oh yeah, right, jeah, Island Joe. 358 00:20:45,838 --> 00:20:49,779 That's right. Joe of the Island. Loves the ping pong. 359 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:50,850 That's right. 360 00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:55,813 Thank you for coming to All Hallows Mass. 361 00:20:55,814 --> 00:20:59,156 How nice to see so many of you haven't been caught up in the silly old... 362 00:20:59,157 --> 00:21:01,174 ...pagan rituals of halloween. 363 00:21:02,265 --> 00:21:06,105 Not that there's anything wrong with paganism, of course. 364 00:21:06,198 --> 00:21:08,825 Anyway, we'll have a reading now, from the Colossians. 365 00:21:18,669 --> 00:21:20,393 - What's she doing? - Oh God. 366 00:21:20,522 --> 00:21:22,776 I think it's protest reading. 367 00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:24,640 Protesting about what? 368 00:21:25,614 --> 00:21:27,415 Doing the reading. 369 00:21:40,747 --> 00:21:44,499 Transcribed and synced by Cosa. 29715

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