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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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[HEART BEATING]
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This is the heartbeat of
an average American male,
4
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,390
ages 16 to 38.
5
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:23,800
[HEARTBEAT ACCELERATES]
And this is the heartbeat
6
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,190
of an average American male
when placed in close proximity
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00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:29,680
to the average American female.
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00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:30,850
Now, we're going
to be seeing a lot
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00:00:30,850 --> 00:00:33,580
of this in the next hour or two,
so please pay close attention.
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[MUSIC - THE FABULOUS CHECKS,
"TEARING UP THE TOWN"]
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00:00:35,350 --> 00:00:36,780
(SINGING) Kick it in.
12
00:00:42,950 --> 00:00:46,480
I've been thinking
about my older days.
13
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,180
And I'm wondering if I'm
wasting my life away.
14
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:54,460
Will I get anywhere with you?
15
00:00:54,460 --> 00:00:55,440
What will I do?
16
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,410
Oh, well.
17
00:00:56,410 --> 00:00:59,210
So I'm trying
harder every night.
18
00:00:59,210 --> 00:00:59,910
I've been working.
19
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,190
I've been practicing.
20
00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:04,680
I've been putting overtime.
21
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:06,670
But I gotta know.
22
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:18,000
And I've been thinking about
you with your hair hanging down.
23
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:23,670
And I've been thinking about
how I want to tear up the town.
24
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,130
Whoa, oh, oh.
25
00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:27,070
Tear up the town.
26
00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:28,530
Whoa, oh, oh.
27
00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:31,930
Tear up the town.
28
00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:33,390
Tear up the town.
29
00:01:36,310 --> 00:01:39,980
So I'm saying it
straight on to you girl.
30
00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:44,770
And I'm hoping you're
gonna tell me what to do.
31
00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:46,770
Because I gotta know.
32
00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,510
So I'm trying
harder every night.
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00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:53,500
I've been working.
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00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:54,610
I've been practicing.
35
00:01:54,610 --> 00:01:58,000
I've been putting overtime.
36
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,000
And I gotta know.
37
00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:11,220
And I've been thinking about
you with your hair hanging down.
38
00:02:11,220 --> 00:02:16,720
And I've been thinking about
how I want to tear up the town.
39
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,670
Whoa, oh, oh.
40
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,620
Tear up the town.
41
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,090
Whoa, oh, oh.
42
00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:25,500
Tear up the town.
43
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,430
Tear up the town.
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00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:29,410
Tear it up.
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00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:39,990
WOMAN (ON TV): --and
sometimes forgets himself.
46
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If you'll behave yourselves,
he'll not hurt you.
47
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MAN 1 (ON TV): Well, what
are you going to with us?
48
00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:47,380
BOTH: Huh?
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00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:50,020
WOMAN (ON TV): I'll first
answer your other question.
50
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:52,210
We've taken care of your
boat, and none of you
51
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:52,910
will leave here.
52
00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:53,860
BOTH: Hm.
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00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,990
WOMAN (ON TV):
Instead, you will help
54
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:59,020
me in some very important work.
55
00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:00,640
No one asked you here.
56
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:05,140
But your curious nature will,
in turn, aid me very much.
57
00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:09,460
Another average night in
the lives of Brad and Janet,
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00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:12,670
two swell kids without a
thought in their minds,
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00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:17,800
each living a dishwater life
of mediocrity without laughter,
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00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:23,090
without passion, without danger.
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00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:26,020
Every day is just as
the day before that,
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00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:32,530
as is the day before that,
every day until today.
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00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:35,370
MAN 1 (ON TV): Well, what
kind of a creep joint is this?
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00:03:35,370 --> 00:03:38,700
WOMAN (ON TV): A place of
research and discovery, a place
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00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,620
where science is free
from the interference
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00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,360
of stupid politicians.
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00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,950
MAN 1 (ON TV): Oh, yeah?
68
00:03:43,950 --> 00:03:45,880
[BIRDS SQUAWKING]
69
00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:58,650
What time did Brad say
he was going to be here?
70
00:03:58,650 --> 00:03:59,350
I don't remember.
71
00:03:59,350 --> 00:04:00,980
I know he was supposed
to go to the airport
72
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,990
and pick up a new
shipment of swimwear.
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00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:03,690
Great.
74
00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:06,210
With traffic, he'll be
here, like, tomorrow.
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00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:06,910
If we're lucky.
76
00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:11,870
I can't wait to
see the new styles.
77
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:12,580
That's right.
78
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:13,360
It's a new company.
79
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,140
Isn't it?
80
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:15,070
Exactly.
81
00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:16,780
I hope they have
awesome swimwear.
82
00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:17,710
I need a change.
83
00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:18,870
Me too.
84
00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:21,240
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
85
00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:28,140
Good morning, everyone.
86
00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:30,150
Brad, that was quick.
87
00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,450
Where do you want this?
88
00:04:31,450 --> 00:04:32,820
Um, just put it
on the counter.
89
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:40,580
Great, Hawaiian shirts.
90
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:41,800
Put these on the rack, please.
91
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:42,500
OK.
92
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,100
Wow, look at this.
93
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:45,800
Fabbo.
94
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,370
Check this one out.
95
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,590
Let's go try these on.
96
00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:49,370
You've got it.
97
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:50,870
Brad, watch the store.
98
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:51,570
We're going in back.
99
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,700
OK, untie me.
100
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,400
OK.
101
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:10,130
OK, me too.
102
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:18,380
Wow, great tan.
103
00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:21,330
[MELLOW SURF GUITAR]
104
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,570
[ELECTRIC HUMMING]
105
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,490
[PHONE RINGING]
106
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:49,540
Bikini A Go-Go,
may I help you?
107
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:50,240
Hi, Brad.
108
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,230
It's Janet.
109
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:53,690
Can we have lunch today?
110
00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:55,370
Let me see.
111
00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:56,810
Well, business is slow anyway.
112
00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:58,010
And the girls are
in the back having
113
00:05:58,010 --> 00:06:00,810
a tizzy over their new bikinis.
114
00:06:00,810 --> 00:06:03,710
OK, so the cafe at 12:30?
115
00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:05,210
I'll be there, snuggles.
116
00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:09,830
Brad, don't talk to me
like that on the phone.
117
00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:10,610
Sorry, Janet.
118
00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:12,650
You know how I get carried away.
119
00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:15,980
OK, bye.
120
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:16,680
Hm.
121
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:29,160
[GIRLS MOANING]
122
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:34,150
[GIGGLING]
123
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:05,410
Janet?
124
00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:07,810
Ooh, Mr. Rogers.
125
00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:09,060
You got a minute?
126
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,400
Sure.
127
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,060
You know, I've been
watching you work today.
128
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:15,700
And I really think it
shows a lot of potential.
129
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,720
Thank you.
130
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,730
I know I've only
been here a few days,
131
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,190
but I'm trying really
hard to fit in.
132
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,350
Yeah, me too.
133
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,910
And I wanted to ask
you about this dress.
134
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,160
It's very, uh, kinky.
135
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,710
Kinky, Mr. Rogers?
136
00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:31,140
My mother gave this to
me for my 16th birthday.
137
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,700
I don't think there's
anything kinky about that.
138
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:34,770
Oh, whoa, whoa.
139
00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:36,360
You're not 16 now.
140
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,220
Are you?
141
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:40,560
No.
142
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,630
Good.
143
00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:42,980
I guess what I'm
trying to say, Janet,
144
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:45,200
is I'd like to
see just how kinky
145
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,870
a little girl you really are.
146
00:07:46,870 --> 00:07:48,150
Mr. Rogers!
147
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:48,850
Come on, Janet.
148
00:07:48,850 --> 00:07:50,230
I am not that kind of girl.
149
00:07:50,230 --> 00:07:51,660
Let me have a look
under that hood, baby.
150
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:52,210
Come on.
- No.
151
00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:56,930
I'll let you spank me.
152
00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:57,630
Never!
153
00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:04,210
Hm.
154
00:08:04,210 --> 00:08:07,210
A new job for Janet
means getting along
155
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:10,630
with fellow coworkers in a
productive and cooperative
156
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:11,770
environment.
157
00:08:11,770 --> 00:08:14,740
One generally goes
with the other.
158
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:17,140
And success in a
workplace depends
159
00:08:17,140 --> 00:08:21,760
on a combination of
perspiration and inspiration.
160
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,620
In fact, the only
place where you'll find
161
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,960
success before work
is in a little book
162
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,910
I like to call "Webster's."
163
00:08:28,910 --> 00:08:30,410
[CHUCKLES]
164
00:08:44,380 --> 00:08:45,330
Hi.
165
00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:46,440
Janet, you're late.
166
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,210
I know.
167
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:47,910
I'm sorry.
168
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,860
BRAD: I got your usual.
169
00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:57,330
Yeah, thanks.
170
00:08:57,330 --> 00:09:00,980
I ran into a little
problem at work today.
171
00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:02,400
Already?
172
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,390
Mhm.
173
00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:09,220
It's, um-- I really don't
want to talk about it.
174
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,940
Does it have to do
with [WHISPERS] S-E-X?
175
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:18,410
Brad, that is not
conversation for polite company.
176
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:19,110
You're right.
177
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:21,140
I'm sorry.
178
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:25,610
[SIGHS] You are
so understanding.
179
00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:28,940
Why can't all boys be like you?
180
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:29,640
I don't know.
181
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:35,290
Here.
182
00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:37,190
Thanks.
183
00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:39,070
What is it?
184
00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:42,610
It's an anniversary
card, silly goose.
185
00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:43,960
Today?
186
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,890
Of course, it's today.
187
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:46,590
Oh.
188
00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:51,810
Thanks, honey.
189
00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:55,000
Brad, you're embarrassing me.
190
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,820
We've only been going
steady for a month.
191
00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:59,180
Now where's my prezi?
192
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,660
Where is it?
193
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,570
Where is it?
194
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:04,040
I want-- Brad.
195
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,140
Happy anniversary, Janet.
196
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:17,360
It's, um--
197
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,630
[ELECTRIC BUZZING]
198
00:10:19,330 --> 00:10:25,700
It's-- it's the
coolest thing ever.
199
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,400
I knew you'd like it.
200
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,420
Like it?
201
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,980
I love it.
202
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:32,730
Ooh.
203
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:33,430
Whew.
204
00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:38,880
Oh.
205
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,500
Is it getting hot in here, Brad?
206
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,470
Whoa, my-- whoa.
207
00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,770
Whew.
208
00:10:46,770 --> 00:10:47,990
It's hot, Brad.
209
00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:49,480
Whew.
210
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,960
Oh, this can't be.
211
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,500
Wow.
212
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:56,990
[BONGOS]
213
00:11:15,610 --> 00:11:16,310
What?
214
00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:24,020
This is disastrous.
215
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:24,900
How could this happen?
216
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:31,090
You give people one,
tiny, simple assignment,
217
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,280
and they manage to
screw it up royally.
218
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,980
Yeah, well, you better
hope you find it
219
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:39,820
and soon, or I'll have
you all annihilated.
220
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:41,210
[SIGHS]
221
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:43,050
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
222
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,000
Oh, I want my tiki necklace.
223
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:55,260
Send in Vargas.
224
00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:58,000
BUTLER (ON INTERCOM):
Vargas, ma'am?
225
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:58,700
You heard me.
226
00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,380
Now be quick about it.
227
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,210
Yes, madam.
228
00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:04,060
There you are.
229
00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:05,040
What kept you?
230
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,940
I was delayed.
231
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:08,520
Well, save your excuses.
232
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,570
I have a job for you.
233
00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:12,300
I am ready.
234
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:15,720
The mystic tiki of
Wayamaya has been lost.
235
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,910
Even now, it's in the
hands of some infidel dog
236
00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:20,910
who has no idea of the
power it possesses.
237
00:12:20,910 --> 00:12:25,450
You must retrieve it at any
cost, and bring it back to me.
238
00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:27,360
What do I need to do?
239
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,270
The tiki was mistakenly
placed in a shipment of Hawaiian
240
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:33,490
shirts and sent to a little
boutique called the Bikini
241
00:12:33,490 --> 00:12:36,010
A Go-Go on East Beach.
242
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:38,170
Do not fail me.
243
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:41,740
Is there any other
service you require?
244
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:44,680
Well, there is that
little thing you do
245
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,200
for me every once in a while.
246
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:50,060
Oh.
247
00:12:55,380 --> 00:12:57,310
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
248
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,320
Janet?
249
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,240
JANET: Just a minute.
250
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,610
Go ahead and make
yourself at home.
251
00:13:14,390 --> 00:13:15,370
Hi.
252
00:13:15,370 --> 00:13:17,550
Hey, how did your day end up?
253
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:21,870
Fine, after I
locked my office door.
254
00:13:21,870 --> 00:13:24,060
Here, I want to
wear this tonight.
255
00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:25,470
Can you help me with it?
256
00:13:31,590 --> 00:13:33,060
There you go.
257
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,470
Ready to do the hula?
258
00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:35,330
Oh, Brad.
259
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:38,590
[ELECTRIC HUMMING]
260
00:13:38,590 --> 00:13:44,430
Actually, it makes me
feel kind of exotic.
261
00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:46,390
Oh.
262
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,840
Is it hot in here?
263
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:49,860
No.
264
00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,440
I think it's quite comfortable.
265
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,510
No.
266
00:13:54,510 --> 00:13:56,130
It's hot.
267
00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:58,150
All of a sudden, I'm just--
268
00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:00,470
I'm burning up.
269
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,170
Oh, I gotta--
270
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:04,920
I gotta get these
clothes off of me, Brad.
271
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,890
It's so hot in here.
272
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:08,930
Oh.
273
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:12,150
Janet, well, I thought we
were watching TV tonight.
274
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:12,970
No, Brad.
275
00:14:12,970 --> 00:14:16,110
You've got to make love
to me tonight, now.
276
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:17,280
No.
277
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,210
You don't know
what you're saying.
278
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:21,800
Oh, yes I do.
279
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:25,100
Brad, you've got to pound
me like a tough steak.
280
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:25,800
Janet.
281
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,280
Don't make me beg for it.
282
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,930
Janet, this is
not like you at all.
283
00:14:30,930 --> 00:14:31,830
OK, fine.
284
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,280
I'll beg.
285
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,350
Drill me like the
North Dallas 40.
286
00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:37,140
Come on, Brad.
287
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,760
There's one simple rule
to follow when you are not
288
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,130
sure how to behave yourself.
289
00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:50,470
Simply, don't do a
don't, and do do a do.
290
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:51,600
Don't do a don't.
291
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,440
Do do a do.
292
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:54,430
It's kind of catchy.
293
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:55,240
Isn't it?
294
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,140
Don't, don't.
295
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:57,130
Do, do.
296
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,140
Do, do.
297
00:14:58,140 --> 00:14:58,840
Don't, don't.
298
00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:03,500
I'm going home.
299
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,360
Oh.
300
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:05,640
Huh.
301
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,020
When you return to your
senses, you can call me.
302
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:10,180
Goodnight, Janet.
303
00:15:10,180 --> 00:15:13,330
[SIGHS] What the
fuck is his problem?
304
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,520
Hm.
305
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,720
MAN 2 (ON TV):
You're sacrificing
306
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,060
our civilization for the
resurrection of your own.
307
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:26,050
No.
308
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,020
[GUNS FIRING]
309
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:33,440
[SENSUAL MUSIC]
310
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,690
Hm.
311
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:44,970
Pay per view, now
that's more like it.
312
00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:46,360
[MOANING]
313
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,700
Ew.
314
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,640
Oh.
315
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,760
Oh.
316
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,880
Oh, my god.
317
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,260
I've got to wash my hands.
318
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,140
Ew.
319
00:15:58,140 --> 00:15:59,440
Oh.
320
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,300
Where did I put that bleach?
321
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,510
Bleach.
322
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:04,850
[BUZZING]
323
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,350
That will be $39.95, please.
324
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:16,790
[CHATTER]
325
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,160
Have you seen this necklace?
326
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,640
No.
327
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:43,980
But you might want to try Tiki
A Go-Go down the next block.
328
00:16:43,980 --> 00:16:46,320
That way.
329
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,020
Yeah.
330
00:16:54,850 --> 00:16:57,640
Have you seen this necklace?
331
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,710
What makes you
think we've got it?
332
00:16:59,710 --> 00:17:02,670
It was delivered
here by mistake,
333
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:05,650
and the owner wants it back.
334
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,110
Well, we did get a shipment
yesterday from Hawaii.
335
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,030
Did you want to look
at the box in the back?
336
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,410
Take me to it.
337
00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:13,330
Take me to it, please?
338
00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:15,540
Take me to it, please.
339
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:16,360
OK.
340
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:19,280
Follow me.
341
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,260
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
342
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,100
Hm.
343
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,620
One thing young people
should always remember
344
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,620
is never go anywhere
with strangers or people
345
00:17:39,620 --> 00:17:41,130
you don't know.
346
00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:44,600
Come to think of it, strangers
are people you don't know.
347
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,270
So next time a
stranger approaches you
348
00:17:47,270 --> 00:17:50,000
and acts in a
suspicious manner, why,
349
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,010
alert your parents right away.
350
00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:54,950
Or better yet, call out for
the local policeman just
351
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:58,760
down the block, and he'll
come running in no time flat.
352
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,880
Otherwise, what is about
to happen to Cheryl
353
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,320
could happen to you.
354
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,290
Go ahead and look.
355
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,220
It's not here.
356
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,910
I told you so.
357
00:18:23,910 --> 00:18:26,980
But did you look here?
358
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,740
Do you require servicing?
359
00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:32,050
You're the one who looks like
you need a lube job, and this
360
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:33,470
is a full-service station.
361
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,610
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
362
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:00,580
Have you seen this necklace?
363
00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,580
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
364
00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:05,490
Well, no.
365
00:19:05,490 --> 00:19:07,670
No, I haven't.
366
00:19:07,670 --> 00:19:09,690
Is it lost?
367
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,000
Yes.
368
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,280
Well, I haven't seen it.
369
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,840
Excuse me.
370
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,320
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
371
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,640
[PHONE RINGING]
372
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,630
Jolly Rogers Industrial.
373
00:19:44,630 --> 00:19:45,930
Is Janet there?
374
00:19:45,930 --> 00:19:46,830
No.
I'm sorry.
375
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:47,530
She's not in yet.
376
00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:49,350
Can I take a message?
377
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:50,050
No.
378
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,270
That's OK.
379
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:54,070
Is this her boyfriend?
380
00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:55,300
Sort of.
381
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,130
Tell me something, kid.
382
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:58,690
Does she have any tattoos?
383
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:01,620
Excuse me?
384
00:20:01,620 --> 00:20:02,530
Never mind, kid.
385
00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:03,330
I'll find out myself.
386
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:22,160
Sorry I'm late, Mr. Rogers.
387
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,550
You feeling OK, Janet?
388
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:28,900
The sex impulse is
like a fiery horse.
389
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:32,500
Uncontrolled, it may be
destructive and dangerous.
390
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:36,160
But controlled, the sex
impulse, like a horse,
391
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,820
can be the source of
power and service.
392
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,590
I feel OK.
393
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:46,780
You feel OK?
394
00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:47,870
Yes, yes.
395
00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:50,580
But you do look different.
396
00:20:50,580 --> 00:20:53,570
What am I supposed to do,
wear the same thing each
397
00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:55,040
and every day?
398
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,130
No, of course not.
399
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,900
But this is a new look for you.
400
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:00,260
Oh.
401
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,040
I wanted something that
would be easy to get out of.
402
00:21:08,190 --> 00:21:10,850
Oh, it's a little hot in here.
403
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:12,070
Isn't it?
404
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:12,890
Yes, it is.
405
00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:15,850
Yes, it is.
406
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:18,320
Oh, my.
407
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,290
[JAZZ MUSIC]
408
00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:45,200
Oh, there you are.
409
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:45,900
Report.
410
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:49,170
The necklace, it has
not been recovered.
411
00:21:49,170 --> 00:21:50,490
You've had no luck?
412
00:21:50,490 --> 00:21:52,530
I believe I know where
the tiki is hidden.
413
00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:53,440
Tell me.
414
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,960
A man, Brad Linaweaver,
I'm certain he has it.
415
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,990
Well, where can we find
this Brad Linaweaver?
416
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:04,730
I followed him
to this address.
417
00:22:04,730 --> 00:22:05,430
Get out.
418
00:22:18,490 --> 00:22:19,630
Janet?
419
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,620
Not quite.
420
00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:23,270
Do you know where she is?
421
00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:24,680
Who are you?
422
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,400
Who I am is unimportant.
423
00:22:29,210 --> 00:22:30,380
I've come to help you.
424
00:22:30,380 --> 00:22:32,580
Well, I think
you'd better leave.
425
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,200
That's not impossible,
not until I get my necklace.
426
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,940
So that's what
this is all about.
427
00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:40,550
Well, it belongs to me.
428
00:22:40,550 --> 00:22:42,800
Somehow it got mixed up in a
shipment of Hawaiian shirts
429
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,060
and became lost.
430
00:22:44,060 --> 00:22:46,160
And I think you
know where it is.
431
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,390
Why do you think
I know where it is?
432
00:22:48,390 --> 00:22:49,490
Trust me.
433
00:22:49,490 --> 00:22:53,000
It has more power than any
average human can control.
434
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,830
It's best you return
it to me and save
435
00:22:54,830 --> 00:22:56,030
yourself a lot of trouble.
436
00:22:56,030 --> 00:22:57,680
Now tell me where it is.
437
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,820
I don't know where it is.
438
00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:04,580
Well, perhaps
you've forgotten.
439
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,980
Now do you remember where it is?
440
00:23:13,980 --> 00:23:15,420
No.
441
00:23:15,420 --> 00:23:16,870
Hm.
442
00:23:16,870 --> 00:23:19,840
Soon you'll remember things you
didn't even know you forgot.
443
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,680
[GLASS SHATTERING]
444
00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:57,650
Oh.
445
00:23:57,650 --> 00:24:00,410
Is Brad here?
446
00:24:00,410 --> 00:24:01,190
Oh, no.
447
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:02,960
He left early.
448
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,810
I think he was worried
about something.
449
00:24:05,810 --> 00:24:09,470
Oh, it's all my fault. I never
should've put that necklace
450
00:24:09,470 --> 00:24:12,570
on for a second time.
451
00:24:12,570 --> 00:24:14,150
Necklace?
452
00:24:14,150 --> 00:24:17,610
Yeah, the one he gave
me for our anniversary.
453
00:24:17,610 --> 00:24:18,390
Let me see it.
454
00:24:21,220 --> 00:24:23,360
See.
455
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:24,060
[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]
456
00:24:24,060 --> 00:24:25,600
That's the cursed
necklace, all right.
457
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,500
KAREN: Sure is.
458
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:28,280
Cursed?
459
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,680
Far as we can tell.
460
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,680
Yeah, some big guy's been
coming around asking about it.
461
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,270
I don't think you
want to run into him.
462
00:24:35,270 --> 00:24:40,060
Oh, whatever am I going to do?
463
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:42,280
Well, you can come and stay
with us for a couple of days,
464
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,650
and we can figure something out.
465
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:45,940
Sure.
466
00:24:45,940 --> 00:24:46,990
OK.
467
00:24:46,990 --> 00:24:49,270
Let me call Brad first
though, so he doesn't worry.
468
00:24:59,350 --> 00:25:02,230
It only takes one
thin dime to call home
469
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:04,520
when you know you're
going to be out late,
470
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,120
particularly when
it's past your curfew.
471
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:10,480
But how many times have
we sat at those crossroads
472
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,160
not making the right decision?
473
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,300
Well, if Janet had
called Brad earlier,
474
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:18,520
she may have avoided all this.
475
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,190
So proper planning
and letting people
476
00:25:21,190 --> 00:25:24,340
know where you are all
the time is absolutely
477
00:25:24,340 --> 00:25:30,230
essential for a clean, healthy,
and, above all, safe lifestyle.
478
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:34,700
Hey, Brad.
479
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:35,840
It's Janet.
480
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,330
I'm sorry for the way I've
been treating you lately.
481
00:25:38,330 --> 00:25:40,860
That necklace made me do it.
482
00:25:40,860 --> 00:25:42,530
I'm going to go over
to Karen and Cheryl's
483
00:25:42,530 --> 00:25:46,480
for the next few days so I
can figure out what to do.
484
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,630
Why don't you meet me at
1313 Mockingbird Lane?
485
00:25:49,630 --> 00:25:50,600
OK?
486
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,300
Ciao.
487
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,140
I've located the tiki.
488
00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:56,100
Put Vargas on the line.
489
00:25:59,590 --> 00:26:01,590
[SNORING]
490
00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:15,460
So how do I look?
491
00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:17,090
Fabulous.
492
00:26:17,090 --> 00:26:20,590
I still can't believe you only
owned a one-piece bathing suit.
493
00:26:20,590 --> 00:26:23,060
Well, I never thought it
was appropriate for a lady
494
00:26:23,060 --> 00:26:25,620
to wear a bikini.
495
00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:28,450
Oh, I get it.
496
00:26:28,450 --> 00:26:31,610
So tell us about
this necklace.
497
00:26:31,610 --> 00:26:37,490
Well, it seemed really
innocent at first.
498
00:26:37,490 --> 00:26:41,590
But then when I put it on, it
made me feel hot and tingly.
499
00:26:44,420 --> 00:26:45,470
Hot?
500
00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:47,890
Tingly?
501
00:26:47,890 --> 00:26:51,320
It made my private
parts throb with desire.
502
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,970
I couldn't control myself.
503
00:26:53,970 --> 00:26:56,990
I did very wicked things.
504
00:26:56,990 --> 00:27:00,730
Well, put it on, and
let's see what happens.
505
00:27:00,730 --> 00:27:01,460
No, no.
506
00:27:01,460 --> 00:27:03,500
I wouldn't dare.
507
00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:04,340
Come on.
508
00:27:04,340 --> 00:27:06,170
We're the only ones here.
509
00:27:06,170 --> 00:27:09,540
Nothing bad is going to happen.
510
00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:13,010
Well, OK.
511
00:27:13,010 --> 00:27:14,710
But this is just
to show you guys
512
00:27:14,710 --> 00:27:15,790
that I'm telling the truth.
513
00:27:15,790 --> 00:27:16,490
All right?
514
00:27:26,070 --> 00:27:27,650
KAREN: Feel anything yet?
515
00:27:27,650 --> 00:27:30,180
Mm, I'm starting to.
516
00:27:30,180 --> 00:27:31,550
[BUZZING]
517
00:27:31,550 --> 00:27:33,920
Is there anything we could do?
518
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,920
Ooh, yeah.
519
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,940
You've got to make
love to me right now.
520
00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:40,640
Wow.
521
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,950
That's a hard
invitation to pass up.
522
00:27:42,950 --> 00:27:44,600
What do you think?
523
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,340
I'll take the top.
524
00:27:45,340 --> 00:27:47,330
And you take the bottom.
525
00:27:47,330 --> 00:27:48,830
And we'll meet in the middle.
526
00:27:54,110 --> 00:27:57,970
I feel like I am going
to burst into flame.
527
00:28:00,740 --> 00:28:02,230
[SNORING]
528
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,690
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
529
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:22,510
JANET (ON RECORDING): Hey, Brad.
530
00:28:22,510 --> 00:28:23,380
It's Janet.
531
00:28:23,380 --> 00:28:26,080
I'm sorry for the way I've
been treating you lately.
532
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,880
That necklace made me do it.
533
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,520
I decided to go over to Karen
and Cheryl's for a few days
534
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,890
so I can figure out
what to do next.
535
00:28:32,890 --> 00:28:35,090
Why don't you meet me at
1313 Mockingbird Lane?
536
00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:35,790
Oh, god.
537
00:28:35,790 --> 00:28:36,490
Oh.
538
00:28:42,260 --> 00:28:45,720
Well, isn't this
a pretty scene?
539
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:46,470
Everybody up.
540
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:50,670
Where's my necklace?
541
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:57,420
Ah, at last.
542
00:28:57,420 --> 00:28:58,120
Hand it over.
543
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:03,790
Finally, the mystic
tiki of Wayamaya
544
00:29:03,790 --> 00:29:06,040
is back where it belongs.
545
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,520
Unfortunately, while
I know it's a cliche,
546
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,370
you all know far
too much to live.
547
00:29:12,370 --> 00:29:13,510
Wait.
548
00:29:13,510 --> 00:29:14,950
I have something
of extreme value
549
00:29:14,950 --> 00:29:17,140
that you're going to be needing.
550
00:29:17,140 --> 00:29:18,930
What's that?
551
00:29:18,930 --> 00:29:22,840
20% off anything in the store?
552
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,290
Vargas, I think it's time
we eliminate these ladies.
553
00:29:26,290 --> 00:29:26,990
No.
554
00:29:26,990 --> 00:29:28,480
Oh.
555
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:29,780
Oh, no.
556
00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:32,210
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
557
00:29:43,420 --> 00:29:46,730
Not so fast, Tin Man.
558
00:29:46,730 --> 00:29:48,210
[SHRIEKING]
559
00:29:48,210 --> 00:29:50,180
[ZAPPING]
560
00:29:51,170 --> 00:29:53,140
[BOOMING]
561
00:29:57,090 --> 00:29:57,860
Ooh.
562
00:29:57,860 --> 00:29:58,560
Oh.
563
00:30:01,150 --> 00:30:03,580
Oh, oh, Brad.
564
00:30:03,580 --> 00:30:04,280
Janet.
565
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:04,980
Hm.
566
00:30:09,150 --> 00:30:10,630
Quick thinking, stud.
567
00:30:10,630 --> 00:30:13,000
So how did you come
up with the water gag?
568
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,260
Well, when I first met this
guy, I knew he was a robot.
569
00:30:16,260 --> 00:30:18,310
How did you know that?
570
00:30:18,310 --> 00:30:19,330
He told me.
571
00:30:19,330 --> 00:30:22,540
But who'd have believed him?
572
00:30:22,540 --> 00:30:24,080
And you had sex with him?
573
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,940
And you didn't know
he was a robot?
574
00:30:26,940 --> 00:30:29,010
Well, there was this
funny taste in my mouth.
575
00:30:29,010 --> 00:30:31,320
Yeah, motor oil.
576
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,150
So what do we do now that
they're gone, call the cops?
577
00:30:34,150 --> 00:30:35,900
Ah, the hell with that.
578
00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:37,630
Let's dance.
579
00:30:37,630 --> 00:30:39,480
Yeah.
580
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,220
[MUSIC - THE FABULOUS CHECKS,
"ROCK AND ROLL LOOK"]
581
00:30:41,220 --> 00:30:43,000
(SINGING) I want a
girl that I can talk to.
582
00:30:46,260 --> 00:30:48,250
I want a girl that knows what--
583
00:30:48,250 --> 00:30:51,580
NARRATOR: So remember, when
faced with a tough decision,
584
00:30:51,580 --> 00:30:54,100
whether at home, in
a social situation,
585
00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:57,760
at school, or in a
gritty lesbian triangle,
586
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,190
always remember that
honesty, integrity,
587
00:31:01,190 --> 00:31:03,430
and a sturdy set
of power tools will
588
00:31:03,430 --> 00:31:06,220
always be your best friends.
589
00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:08,110
Janet and Brad were lucky.
590
00:31:08,110 --> 00:31:11,970
But what about the other kids,
the ones who used, and abused,
591
00:31:11,970 --> 00:31:15,440
and degraded themselves
that weren't so lucky?
592
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,900
Well, if you see one, please,
have them give me a call.
593
00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:23,500
(SINGING) Because I really
kind of dig that hot rock, rock
594
00:31:23,500 --> 00:31:24,600
and roll look.
595
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:25,300
Oh.
596
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,400
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
597
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,300
Oh.
598
00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,300
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
599
00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:31,000
Oh.
600
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,700
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
601
00:31:33,700 --> 00:31:36,700
With her black leather jacket,
and her tight blue jeans, and
602
00:31:36,700 --> 00:31:39,400
her wiggle that'll draw stares.
603
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,700
Well, I didn't know which
road I was going to be taking.
604
00:31:42,700 --> 00:31:43,900
But I kind of do.
605
00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:46,500
I was going to get there.
606
00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:47,200
Woo!
607
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:04,000
Well, I knew that we were
destined for infamy the moment
608
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,100
she walked through that door.
609
00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:09,100
Well, I kind of knew
that she was into me.
610
00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:14,200
And I've never been
into anyone more.
611
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,200
I want a girl who
treats my mother right.
612
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:23,200
I want a girl who
knows how to cook.
613
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,200
I like my red beans and rice.
614
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,100
I want a girl who knows
how to be-bop and stroll.
615
00:32:30,100 --> 00:32:35,500
And I really kind of dig that
hot rock, rock and roll look.
616
00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:38,200
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
617
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,600
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
618
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,600
Oh, hot rock, rock
and roll look.
619
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,100
I dig that rock and roll.
620
00:32:45,100 --> 00:32:47,500
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
621
00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:49,600
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
622
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:53,500
I dig that rocking and a-rolling
and a-bopping and a-strolling.
623
00:32:53,500 --> 00:32:56,200
Hot rock, rock and roll look.
624
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,300
[SURF MUSIC]
625
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,350
[REGGAE MUSIC]40813
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