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1
00:00:01,902 --> 00:00:06,840
Hey, Abbott!
2
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:37,668
Oh!
3
00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,309
What do you want?
4
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:46,573
"Happy birthday, dear Mike.
5
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,081
Happy birthday, dear
Mike. Happy birthday to you."
6
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:50,480
Signed "Eloise."
7
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:51,813
Get out of here!
8
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:54,718
And it ain't my
birthday till tomorrow!
9
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,341
Ooh!
10
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,844
What do you want now?
11
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,646
You forgot to sign for it.
12
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,151
Oh!
13
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,289
Now get out of here!
14
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,451
Thank you, Sir.
15
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,082
Well?
16
00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:02,554
You forgot to dot the "I."
17
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,804
You're a dandy.
18
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:21,341
I get you a good job, and
what do you do with it?
19
00:02:21,441 --> 00:02:23,603
- Look what it did to me.
- Never mind that.
20
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,679
Fields was beefing
about his room rent.
21
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:27,645
90 bucks. Where
are we going to get it?
22
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,341
Hey, we could put
the bite on Mike.
23
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,077
He's always got cash.
24
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,914
Mike wouldn't give you a nickel.
25
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,750
Yeah, you're right there.
26
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,855
Where's the racing form?
27
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,254
It's over there on the table.
28
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,357
- Huh?
- On the table.
29
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:39,619
Come here. I've got an idea.
30
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,504
Wait a minute, Abbott.
I don't like that idea.
31
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:42,972
Are you going to start
playing the horses again?
32
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,797
Now, stop worrying,
please. We've got to get cash.
33
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,496
Hey, get this dog
in the first race.
34
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:53,597
Charlie Horse.
There is a real dog.
35
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,403
Charlie Horse, a
real dog. That's a stiff.
36
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,704
Wait till I look this up.
37
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,608
Charlie Horse, Charlie Horse.
38
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,544
30 races.
39
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,912
Came in last in 30 races.
40
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,260
That's what I don't
understand, Abbott.
41
00:03:04,284 --> 00:03:05,328
What's the matter with you?
42
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,344
The horse ran
last 30 times. Last!
43
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,889
We only got a buck. We're
going to put it on that?
44
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,858
Whose brains am I
using? Mine, not yours!
45
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,258
You got a telegram blank?
46
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,227
Get the typewriter.
47
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:17,540
I'm taking you to
a doctor, brother.
48
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,564
Go get the typewriter.
49
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,896
- I'm taking you to a doctor.
- Go ahead.
50
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,337
Hey, Mike.
51
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,738
Beautiful day, isn't it, Mike?
52
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,072
Yeah. A beautiful
day for sleeping.
53
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:32,146
But you can't get any
rest around this place.
54
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:33,338
Wait a minute, Mike.
55
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,143
How would you like to
make some easy money?
56
00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:36,893
What are you doing,
selling the Brooklyn Bridge?
57
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,783
- You want to buy it?
- Oh, quiet.
58
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,285
This is on the level, Mike.
59
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,855
- I just got a telegram.
- Yeah.
60
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,395
Anything on the level, you guys
would have nothing to do with.
61
00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:46,654
Wait a minute, Mike.
See what it says here?
62
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,752
"Charlie Horse
set to win first race.
63
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,093
Shoot the works
on him. Jockey Joe."
64
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,760
Are you suggesting that
I, an officer of the law,
65
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,837
engage in anything illegal?
66
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:58,462
Mike, what's illegal about that?
67
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,632
Going to the racetrack
and making a bet.
68
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,607
The best people
in the world do it.
69
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:06,305
And incidentally, this horse
is 50 to 1 on the morning line.
70
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,609
You know, if you
want us to, I will...
71
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,650
We'll bet a hundred
dollars for you,
72
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,794
and you'd have a
nice load coming back.
73
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,912
All we need is 90 dollars.
74
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,922
You'd have a nice load
coming back with you, Mike.
75
00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,651
Let me see that telegram.
76
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:22,491
Here it is, black and white.
You can't go wrong, Mike.
77
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,757
Real McCoy.
78
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,457
Well, 50 to 1, huh?
79
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:26,260
Well, if you don't want it...
80
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:30,064
No, no. I'll take
a chance. Here.
81
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,968
Here.
82
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,837
There. Now, put that
2 dollars on to win.
83
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:40,642
And when he comes in, you'd
better bring me the money.
84
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:44,949
2 dollars. That piker.
85
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,850
I told you the guy
was a cheapskate
86
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,565
Come on. We'd better get to
the racetrack, make the bet.
87
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:51,751
Wait a minute. Who's
going to any racetrack?
88
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,556
We'll book this bet ourselves,
and we'll be in 2 dollars.
89
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:56,960
Eh, what are you worrying about?
90
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,122
The horse is 50 to 1.
91
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:01,133
He can't win. It's
impossible for him to win.
92
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,702
Abbott, this looks like trouble.
93
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:03,883
Don't worry about anything.
94
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,461
We're going down
to the restaurant.
95
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:06,716
You can have anything you want.
96
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,184
- Have anything I want?
- Anything you want.
97
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,235
That's exactly what the
warden said to my uncle Ludwig.
98
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,074
"You can have anything you want.
99
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,944
Last dinner."
100
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,022
Well, now that you
had a good lunch,
101
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,489
we got to find a job for you.
102
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:25,388
I'll wait here.
103
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,894
No, you don't. You'll
come along. Come on.
104
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,856
Hey, wait a minute.
105
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:36,798
Come here.
106
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,998
Let me see this.
Hold it right there.
107
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,099
- What's the idea of that?
- Just hold that.
108
00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:49,514
You boys looking for a job?
109
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,811
- Yes, Sir.
- He is.
110
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,943
We can use both of
you if you want to work.
111
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,954
The pay is 25 dollars a day.
112
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,615
25 dollars a day.
What do we have to do?
113
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:59,524
Never mind what we have to
do. 25 dollars a day, we'll take it.
114
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:02,755
Okay, get in and we'll explain.
115
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,664
25 dollars a day.
116
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:07,465
All righty.
117
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,036
Hey, somebody took
the top of your car, fellas.
118
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,729
Hey, wait a minute.
119
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,137
What do we have to
do? What are these for?
120
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,075
For you men to carry. We
want you for bodyguards.
121
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,544
Bodyguards?
122
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:21,842
That's the one job
I've always wanted.
123
00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,712
You mean, you want
me to guard your body?
124
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,810
Yeah. We're in the
money-transporting business.
125
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,480
We carry money from
one bank to another.
126
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,285
We just want you
boys to go along
127
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,292
and see that nothing happens.
128
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,225
I get it.
129
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,853
You want us along for protection
130
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,432
in case there's any
holdups or things like that.
131
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,023
Exactly. Okay?
132
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,763
- Okay.
- Sounds good.
133
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,567
Let anybody try to
bother you, brother.
134
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,972
You know what I'd
do? I'd give them that...
135
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:52,778
Good.
136
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,678
Our first stop is
just up the street
137
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:56,443
at the Fifth National Bank.
138
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,745
Attention! Left shoulder arm!
139
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,753
Put it back down!
140
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,356
Look, Mike, see if you
can keep your eyes open
141
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,553
for once in your life.
142
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:11,325
We just got word that Joe
and Lefty Lucas are in town.
143
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,330
Do you know them?
144
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,197
Well, not on sight, but
I've seen pictures of them.
145
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,100
They pull bank jobs, don't they?
146
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,195
They pull anything,
and they're plenty mean.
147
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,104
Well, now, don't you
worry, Lieutenant.
148
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,199
Nothing's going to
happen on my beat.
149
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:26,644
- See that it doesn't.
- Yes, Sir.
150
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,674
All right. Here we are.
151
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,081
Come on. Get out.
152
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,413
I'll wait here, Lefty.
153
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,384
Okay.
154
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:34,613
Now, all you men have to do
155
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,815
is stand just
inside the entrance.
156
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,204
Make sure that nobody touches
me or the money in this bag.
157
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,555
- You understand?
- Okay.
158
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,959
Okay. I'll keep a
good eye on you.
159
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,692
Right in the bank.
Go ahead, boys.
160
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:01,740
Fill this up. Don't
make a sound.
161
00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:04,477
Yes, Sir.
162
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:09,079
Hey, Lou, you know, this is the
easiest money we've ever made.
163
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,250
I'm sure glad I don't have to
carry that heavy bag of money.
164
00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,158
Don't anybody make a move.
165
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:18,425
Remember, my men at the
door have got you all covered.
166
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,136
You men wait right here.
167
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,336
I got to go out and
get the other bag.
168
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,067
- Don't go away, now.
- Nobody.
169
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:33,974
Let's go.
170
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:39,750
Hey, Abbott, this is the kind
of place I'd like to work in.
171
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,650
Look at that.
172
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,554
They just stand around.
They don't do nothing.
173
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:48,658
Hey, Lou, you know, it's taking
that guy an awful long time
174
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,560
to get that other bag.
175
00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,531
Maybe he got stuck up while
our backs were turned in here.
176
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:54,999
I better go out and take a look.
177
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,468
We'd both better take a look.
178
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,872
Huh. How do you like those guys?
179
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,912
- What?
- Didn't even wait to fire us.
180
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,523
- They just brushed us off.
- Oh, so what?
181
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,345
I didn't care much
for that job anyway.
182
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:10,760
You'd better put
that gun back in there
183
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,083
in case they come back for it.
184
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:18,953
- Abbott.
- What?
185
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:19,719
I got an idea.
186
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:21,226
I'm going to report
them to the FLB.
187
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,457
- FLB?
- Fair Labor Board.
188
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,429
Oh, come on.
189
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,895
Give me the police! Hurry!
190
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,870
Well, do something!
Sound the alarm!
191
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:32,870
Not bad, huh?
192
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,100
Yeah. I call that a
pretty good day's work.
193
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:39,043
You suppose those two dopey
guys are still standing in there?
194
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,177
There they go.
195
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,716
Things are going to get
red-hot around here any minute.
196
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,308
We'd better not take a chance
197
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,114
trying to get out
of town right now.
198
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,712
Our best bet would be to get
an out-of-the-way apartment
199
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:53,021
and hole up for a week or so.
200
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,356
What's that bell ringing?
201
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,834
Oh, possibly
somebody's telephone.
202
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,873
Come on. We'd better get home
and make plans for our future.
203
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,102
There were three of them.
204
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,905
Two of them stood
by at the door.
205
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,376
The third one took the money.
206
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,856
Yeah, I'd know them anywhere
if I ever saw them again.
207
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,958
They were the toughest-looking
things I ever saw in my life,
208
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:18,645
especially the two that
stood guard at the door.
209
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:21,016
They were criminal types.
They were no amateurs.
210
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,531
And the way they
handled those rifles,
211
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,633
I was afraid any minute we
were all going to be killed.
212
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:25,868
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
213
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:26,791
One at a time.
214
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,293
You know I got to
get this all down.
215
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,489
Well, what happened?
216
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,928
Oh, hello, Lieutenant.
217
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,862
Well, there seems to
have been a stickup.
218
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,406
There "seems" to
have been a stickup?
219
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,765
Yeah, but don't worry at all.
220
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,303
I've got a good
description of them,
221
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,066
and here are the guns they used.
222
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,173
Why, you dumb ox.
223
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,018
Don't you know if there's
any fingerprints on those guns,
224
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,135
you've smeared them all up?
225
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,244
Sorry.
226
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,042
You're sorry? Get out of here!
227
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,342
Get back on your beat.
228
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,110
Yes, Sir.
229
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,862
Now, start at the beginning
and tell me what happened.
230
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:53,996
Well, there was three of them.
231
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,131
And I was standing
like this over there.
232
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,532
Two of them at the
door, and the third one...
233
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:59,549
Hold on! One at a
time. One at a time.
234
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:02,995
I don't know.
235
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,292
Things are tough, Lou.
236
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,832
It's a miserable day.
237
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,835
I don't know what's wrong.
What else could go wrong for us?
238
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:12,235
- What else could go wrong?
- I don't know.
239
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,949
You know the 2 dollars
you took from Mike the Cop
240
00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:15,693
you said you were
going to put on the horse?
241
00:11:15,742 --> 00:11:17,720
- What else could go wrong?
- That's our least worry.
242
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,076
Suppose the horse wins.
243
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,546
That's impossible.
The horse is a dog.
244
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,584
Don't worry about that.
We have other troubles.
245
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,879
Hey, wait a minute.
246
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,079
By the way, we're
entitled to a laugh.
247
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,918
We should have some little fun.
248
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,651
The race is on
now. Let's hear it.
249
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:32,768
This is going to
give us a laugh?
250
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,158
- Why not?
- I can use it.
251
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,819
I can use it myself.
252
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,693
Horses are all at the post.
253
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,595
They're all in. They're
waiting for Girdle.
254
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,928
They're in there now.
255
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,935
They're off and running.
256
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,403
At the start is Girdle,
breaking on top,
257
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,168
followed by Cabbage
and then Mattress.
258
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:51,733
At the quarter, it's
Cabbage by a head.
259
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,176
Girdle in second.
260
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,214
Mattress is now third.
261
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,648
They're going into the far turn.
262
00:11:57,750 --> 00:12:00,015
At the three-quarter,
it's Mattress.
263
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:02,054
Mattress at the three-quarter.
264
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,351
A three-quarter mattress.
265
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,387
Girdle has now
taken the lead again.
266
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,587
Girdle first, Cabbage second.
267
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:10,959
Mattress is third.
268
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,704
They're coming down
to the line of finish.
269
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,497
It's Girdle, Cabbage, and
Mattress head the pack.
270
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,299
And here is your winner...
271
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,872
Charlie Horse!
272
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,501
Where did Charlie
Horse come from?
273
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:29,071
Ladies and gentlemen, the
surprise winner of this race,
274
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,983
Charlie Horse, paid
100 dollars to win.
275
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,488
- No, no.
- 100 dollars to win.
276
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,582
100 dollars to win.
277
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,170
What are we going to do now?
278
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,595
Out of the clear
sky, Charlie Horse.
279
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:47,565
Mike is going to kill us if
we don't give him his money.
280
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,432
Mike is going to kill us if
we don't give him his money.
281
00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:51,196
Wait a minute.
282
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,648
We've got to get
that money somehow.
283
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:53,571
I have it.
284
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,835
Let's go to a bank
and borrow the money.
285
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,410
What bank are we going to go to?
286
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,376
What is the
difference what bank?
287
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,038
- A lot of difference.
- Why?
288
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,740
I don't know
anybody in the banks.
289
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:05,819
Well, that's all the more
reason why we can get it.
290
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:09,355
Hey, what about the
bank that we were to?
291
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,549
They don't even know us,
292
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,059
and they seemed like
nice people, didn't they?
293
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,890
Yeah, they all
stood at attention.
294
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:17,019
Yeah.
295
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:24,002
Wait a minute. Now, here we are.
296
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,901
I'm going to try
something for a change.
297
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,907
I'm going to see what kind of
a businessman you really are.
298
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,943
I'm going to leave this
entirely in your hands.
299
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,604
Abbott, you mean you're going
to let me go in the bank by myself?
300
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,272
That's right.
301
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,125
And I'm going to ask
him for the 200 dollars?
302
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,084
You don't ask him
for the 200 dollars.
303
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,210
You tell him you
want the 200 dollars.
304
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,152
- Just like that, huh?
- Just like that.
305
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,099
This is ridiculous. I go in and
say, "Give me 200 dollars."
306
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:44,886
You think they're
going to give it to me?
307
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:45,856
Oh, now, wait a minute.
308
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:48,393
If you're going to walk in
like that, you won't get it, Lou.
309
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:50,429
You go in as though
you are somebody.
310
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,770
Let them think you're somebody.
311
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,457
That's it.
312
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,034
The first impression
is the big impression.
313
00:13:55,134 --> 00:13:56,261
Now, wait a minute, now.
314
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,565
Wipe that smile off
your face. None of that.
315
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,572
No. Determination.
316
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:01,834
That's a boy. That's it.
317
00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,570
Now, you go right into the
bank, and you want 200 dollars.
318
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,441
Come out with 200
dollars in your hand.
319
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:07,923
You mean to tell me if I
walk in the bank like this,
320
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:10,382
and I say, "Give me
200 dollars, please."
321
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,815
That's right.
322
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:12,681
I say "please"?
323
00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:15,186
You don't have to say "please."
Just, "Give me 200 dollars."
324
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,632
- And they're going to give it to you?
- They'll give it to you, Lou.
325
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,989
- No collateral?
- You're enough collateral.
326
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:19,582
I am?
327
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,161
Put that determination
on and go on inside.
328
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:23,729
Don't let them
think you need it.
329
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,561
- I'll get the 200 dollars.
- Go ahead.
330
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:34,137
They're back.
331
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,274
Give me 200 dollars.
332
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,113
Yes, Sir.
333
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,346
Just 200 dollars?
334
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:50,252
That's all for now.
335
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:51,551
Here you are, Sir.
336
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,922
Thank you. What
do you want for this?
337
00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:57,019
Not a thing, Sir. Please.
338
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,827
Okay.
339
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:09,301
You gave me 5 too much.
340
00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,504
They gave it to you that easy?
341
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,814
Yeah. There was nothing to it.
342
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,544
Boy, were they polite.
343
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,385
Give me the police! Hurry!
344
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:31,829
Wait a minute.
345
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,176
Every time I get to this spot,
I always hear bells ringing.
346
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,261
Oh, you've got
bells in your head.
347
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,772
That's better.
348
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,538
It's okay. We'll take it.
349
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:46,669
All right.
350
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,180
If you'll just step into
my office a moment,
351
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:53,549
I'll get change for you
and make you out a receipt.
352
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,314
Come right in.
353
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:58,652
Fine.
354
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:02,695
Now... Here we are.
355
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,795
Fine.
356
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:06,265
I'll just make your
change for you here.
357
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,425
There you are. Thank you, Sir.
358
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,845
Now, if you'll just
step over here,
359
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,428
I'll write you out a receipt.
360
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,802
It's okay. We don't
need a receipt.
361
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:14,965
All right.
362
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:18,374
If there's anything else
I can do, just call on me.
363
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,379
Yeah, yeah, sure.
364
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,709
Thank you.
365
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,083
Yeah? Oh.
366
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,185
- Hello, Mr. Fields.
- Hello, boys.
367
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:39,163
- We have some money for you.
- Well, fine.
368
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,927
Let's see. About 90
dollars, am I right?
369
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:41,830
Exactly.
370
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,768
Sure. There we are.
371
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,871
90 dollars.
372
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,316
I hope you boys don't
think I'm too rough on you.
373
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,740
After all, when
you're in business,
374
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,081
you've got to make collections.
375
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,508
Would you believe it, boys?
376
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,477
Half my tenants owe me money.
377
00:16:53,579 --> 00:16:54,911
Oh, that's nothing, Mr. Fields.
378
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,846
We owe half your tenants money.
379
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,010
By the way, we have some
money here for Mr. Mike, you know.
380
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,587
A hundred dollars we owe him.
381
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,485
Yeah, and I want to
pay him. Is he around?
382
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,057
Well, he'll be
working till midnight.
383
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:06,216
Oh.
384
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,851
Well, would you mind
holding that until I see him?
385
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,691
Well, of course. I'd be glad to.
386
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,107
As a matter of fact, this
money would be safer
387
00:17:12,131 --> 00:17:14,999
here with me in my safe
than it would in the bank.
388
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,125
Why do you say that?
389
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:17,601
Haven't you heard
about the holdup?
390
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,602
No.
391
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,603
Why, certainly.
392
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:20,934
I just got it over the radio.
393
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,372
Three fellas held up the bank
394
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,070
and got away with
over 30,000 dollars.
395
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:26,805
- What bank?
- The Fifth National Bank.
396
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,438
That's funny. We
were just there.
397
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,106
We just left there.
398
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,979
- How many guys?
- Three fellas.
399
00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,517
The dirty crooks.
400
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,951
That's what I hate.
That's what I detest...
401
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,024
When crooks can brazenly
bully, walk into a bank,
402
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,717
and steal 30,000 dollars.
403
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,637
It's about time the law did
something about this kind of thing!
404
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,505
Right. As a matter of
fact, there were two of them
405
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,964
were standing guard
at the door with rifles,
406
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,499
and the other guy got the money.
407
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,111
They're no better
off than the other guy
408
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:49,864
that went away with the money.
409
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:51,835
They're in it just as
deep as the other guy.
410
00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,178
If the other guy gets 30 years,
411
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,969
the other two guys
ought to go with them.
412
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,509
- Rifles?
- That's right.
413
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,580
Two fellas with rifles?
414
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,879
Did they give a
description of the two men?
415
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,953
Oh, they got a good
description of them.
416
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,353
It seems as though the two
guys standing with the rifles...
417
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:14,393
Well, one of them was
a kind of a hard, tall guy.
418
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,933
The other one was
a little, dumpy guy
419
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,430
that didn't look too bright.
420
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,431
Isn't it amazing
how all those gangs,
421
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,660
they got one guy
that's usually the leader,
422
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,030
the guy with the brains?
423
00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:25,297
Usually a guy that
nobody would suspect.
424
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:26,531
You say a little short guy?
425
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,198
Cops are going to
get them any minute.
426
00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:30,640
A little, dumpy guy
that's not so bright.
427
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,871
Isn't it amazing how those
guys are always the guys?
428
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,677
Good-bye, Mr. Fields.
429
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,985
Good-bye to us,
Mr. Fields. Good-bye to us.
430
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,957
- Bye, Mr. Fields.
- Bye, Mr. Fields.
431
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,660
Abbott and Costello.
432
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,561
Oh, what guys.
433
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,102
Lock that door.
434
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,068
Lou, I'm worried.
435
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,337
You're worried?
436
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,307
Look, all we did,
just like the man said,
437
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:02,841
go in the bank with the guns.
438
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,638
I know. Let me think, please.
439
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,235
I don't think you have to think.
440
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:07,589
I mean, after all, I don't think
441
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:09,172
they got a very good
description of us.
442
00:19:09,281 --> 00:19:11,648
If they had, they would
have recognized you and I
443
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,595
when we went in the bank
for 200 dollars the second time.
444
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:16,521
Wait a minute. Maybe
there's a news broadcast.
445
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,284
Come on.
446
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,569
I don't think we've got
anything to worry about at that.
447
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,593
I hope not.
448
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,994
We interrupt this program
to bring you a news bulletin.
449
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,155
The Fifth National Bank,
450
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,597
which was held up by three
men early this afternoon,
451
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,692
was robbed a second
time a few minutes ago
452
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,395
by two of the same men.
453
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,201
In the second holdup,
only 200 dollars was taken.
454
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,501
Irate police officials
455
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,338
have a good description
of the criminals
456
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,708
and promise their
immediate apprehension.
457
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,508
That's all.
458
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:42,980
Wait a minute, Lou.
459
00:19:44,216 --> 00:19:45,548
Now, wait a minute, Lou.
460
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:47,813
Lou, we're staying here!
461
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,331
What do you mean,
we're staying here?
462
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,532
What, do you got a
mouse in your pocket?
463
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:53,253
Look, Lou, where can you go?
464
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,122
I don't know about you,
465
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:55,771
but I'm thinking the
first rocket ship to Mars.
466
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:56,990
Look, Lou, you're crazy.
467
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:59,691
I'm crazy? You and
your big mouth, Abbott.
468
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:02,735
"All you got to do is walk
in the bank, be independent.
469
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:03,835
Be domineering.
470
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,847
Just walk up to the guy over
there by the cage over there
471
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,391
and just say, 'Give
me 200 dollars. ""
472
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,237
Not please, mind you.
473
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,469
Just, "Give me 200
dollars." No right in the world.
474
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:12,909
"Give me 200 dollars."
475
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:15,004
So he gives me 200 dollars.
476
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,743
We're going to get 200 years.
477
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,071
We interrupt again to bring
you another news bulletin.
478
00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:23,381
Officials of the
Fifth National Bank,
479
00:20:23,489 --> 00:20:26,721
which was robbed twice today
by members of the same gang...
480
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,317
"Robbed twice"? What is this?
481
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:31,056
Have informed the police that
money taken in both holdups
482
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,758
will be of little value
to the criminals.
483
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,767
It seems that in the
event of a holdup,
484
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:38,804
bank tellers are required
to include in the loot
485
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,669
prepared bills with
recorded serial numbers.
486
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:45,541
Such was the case in
both robberies today.
487
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,979
Hey, you know, that's a pretty
good gag these banks have got,
488
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,416
giving out marked
money to bank robbers.
489
00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:54,851
You're so right.
490
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:55,954
Catch them like that.
491
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,183
I hope those gangsters...
492
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:58,967
I hope they go ahead and
spend some of that money
493
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,790
so they'll get caught,
because it serves them right.
494
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:03,920
They're deserving
of it. There's no...
495
00:21:04,029 --> 00:21:05,622
Hey, wait a minute.
496
00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:08,360
That money we gave Fields...
497
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,993
Aha!
498
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,333
Fields will go to the
bank in the morning.
499
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,501
He'll deposit his money.
500
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,909
They'll read the serial number.
501
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,777
They'll say, "Where
did you get that money?"
502
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,977
He'll say, "From two of my
tenants, Abbott and Costello.
503
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:27,553
They gave it to me."
504
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:28,653
Oh, no.
505
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,815
I can see it all now.
506
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:36,624
"Now playing, 'Abbott and
Costello, ' Alcatraz Theater,
507
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,288
for 44 years.
508
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:41,834
Held over 28 more years."
509
00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:46,463
Why did you ever get
me in this mess, Abbott?
510
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,161
He left the window open.
511
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:19,295
Come on. Give me
a hand with this box.
512
00:22:20,873 --> 00:22:21,602
You hear something?
513
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:24,302
Just that guy in there snoring.
514
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:43,561
Shh! Take it easy.
515
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:45,429
No, no, no, no, no.
516
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,500
I keep hearing something.
517
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,000
You're just nervous.
518
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:52,003
It's probably the old
guy turning over in bed.
519
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:53,936
I've got to hit it.
520
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:55,871
No! Too much noise.
521
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:58,103
You'll wake up Mr. Fields.
522
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,577
Look. Come here.
I've got a better idea.
523
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:02,341
Lou, what's the matter?
524
00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:08,283
I think Mr. Fields
is burning incense.
525
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:10,784
That's too much noise.
526
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,189
Let's take it down to our
apartment and open it up.
527
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:15,227
Come on. Shh! Don't make noise.
528
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:23,298
Hey. Mike is coming.
529
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,769
Put it back, put it back.
530
00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:27,567
- Oh!
- What? Is it locked?
531
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,066
Come on. You've
got to get rid of it.
532
00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:33,574
Get rid of it. Get
rid of it anywhere.
533
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:35,204
Here. Put it in here.
534
00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:37,249
Go ahead. Put it in there.
535
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:46,456
Hey, hey, hey.
536
00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:48,459
What are you doing out
here this time of night?
537
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,961
Oh, nothing. I was
just going to bed.
538
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,525
Good night.
539
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,936
Come on. Now we are leaving.
540
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:17,287
In here.
541
00:24:19,725 --> 00:24:20,624
Stop! Stop or I'll shoot!
542
00:24:20,726 --> 00:24:21,625
Mr. Fields!
543
00:24:21,727 --> 00:24:23,525
- Hey, hey, let go of that gun!
- It's us.
544
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,257
Let go of that gun! Hey!
545
00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:26,923
What's the... Get me...
546
00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:33,529
Look. It's them!
547
00:24:40,579 --> 00:24:41,877
What happened?
548
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:43,506
I don't know, Sir.
549
00:24:43,615 --> 00:24:45,095
There seems to have
been an explosion.
550
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:46,795
Oh, there "seems" to
have been an explosion?
551
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:48,981
Lieutenant, we caught
your bank robbers.
552
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:50,454
Oh, Lefty and Joe.
553
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:51,888
You want I should
take them down?
554
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:54,256
I don't want you to do
anything but get out of my sight.
555
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,386
Get away somewhere.
Get lost. Go to bed.
556
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:57,861
Yes, Sir.
557
00:24:57,963 --> 00:24:59,795
Nice work, boys.
558
00:24:59,898 --> 00:25:02,766
Lieutenant, if you don't need
us anymore, it's after 12:00.
559
00:25:02,868 --> 00:25:04,564
- I think I'll go to bed.
- Okay.
560
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:05,729
After 12:00.
561
00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:07,878
Well, if it's after 12:00,
that means it's tomorrow,
562
00:25:07,906 --> 00:25:08,946
and I got something to do.
563
00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:09,805
Here. Hold the gun.
564
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:12,639
- Give me that gun!
- Excuse me.
565
00:25:12,745 --> 00:25:15,146
All right. Get over
against that wall.
566
00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:27,351
"Happy birthday, dear Michael."
41460
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