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1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:07,337
Hey, Abbott!
2
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,012
All right, friends,
step right up.
3
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,682
We'll guess your weight within
three pounds or it's for free.
4
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:25,622
What do you say?
5
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,319
If you have any
weight on your mind,
6
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,020
put it over here
and take it off.
7
00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:30,188
Ah, pardon me, friend.
8
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,163
I'll guess your weight
within three pounds
9
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,894
or it's absolutely
free of charge.
10
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,645
Now, just a minute. I'll
feel your muscles, friend.
11
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:36,568
And let's see.
12
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:40,004
I'll guess you to weigh about...
Let's say about 140 pounds.
13
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,776
Hey, Abbott, you're
wrong. Not 140 pounds.
14
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,638
- Oh, are you kidding?
- What?
15
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:45,769
Oh, 140 pounds.
16
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,848
- What do you say?
- Let me see.
17
00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:49,940
- I'd say 141.
- All right. It's 141.
18
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,150
Put it over there, Sir.
19
00:00:51,184 --> 00:00:52,880
Sit right down, and that's...
20
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,219
Well, now, that's the
time the house loses.
21
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,518
How do you like that?
We missed it by 30 pounds.
22
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,024
How can we miss it by 30 pounds?
23
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,126
Suckers!
24
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:02,795
Ooh!
25
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,661
Ooh! Get the weight of that.
26
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,261
That guy had a weight.
27
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,003
Next time someone comes
up here, feel their bodies.
28
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,043
You understand?
Feel their muscles.
29
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:18,840
They might have
pads in their shoulders.
30
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:19,946
Do you know what I mean?
31
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,538
Feel their legs.
Feel them all over.
32
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:22,547
Now, don't forget that.
33
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,527
I'm going to get a cup of coffee.
Watch out how you weigh them.
34
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:25,551
I'll feel them all over.
35
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,177
Nobody's going to
get the best of me.
36
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:31,748
Step right up and let
me guess your weight!
37
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:34,350
I can guess anybody's weight!
38
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:35,461
Yes?
39
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,964
Guess my weight.
40
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,124
I can?
41
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:40,928
Oh. Abbott will be proud of me.
42
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,195
I got a customer.
43
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:46,171
Well, I say, lady, that
you weigh exactly...
44
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,640
You weigh exactly...
Let me see, now.
45
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:52,179
Got to... Got to see it.
46
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,747
I got to. I got to.
47
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,118
Stand right there, lady.
48
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,711
I got to take a gander over here
49
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,791
to figure out this
whole situation.
50
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:07,486
I say you...
51
00:02:09,429 --> 00:02:11,762
You weigh exactly...
52
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,061
Let me see, now.
53
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:15,763
You have very light fingers.
54
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:18,634
I'd say that you weigh 118.
55
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,140
Sit right down over here, lady.
Let's see what you weigh now.
56
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,452
And this is for
free, on the house.
57
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,944
Oh, you're so nice.
58
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,672
How do you like
that? I guessed it.
59
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,339
118 pounds you weigh.
60
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,679
And on you, it looks nice.
61
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,845
Oh, you're so cute,
even if you are chubby.
62
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,388
Bye.
63
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:40,051
I guessed it right on
the head, 118 pounds.
64
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,028
Cha, cha, cha!
65
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,704
Hold it real still
now, Dapper Dan.
66
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,813
Hold it now, Dan.
67
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,481
Okay, Dan, we'll go
and see the sergeant.
68
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,025
That's all.
69
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,625
That's one place I
don't want no part of.
70
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,703
Let me guess your weight!
71
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:26,570
It's for free, ladies
and gentlemen.
72
00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,317
You think you're smart
enough to guess my weight
73
00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:29,434
within three pounds?
74
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,375
No, Ma'am, I am not that smart.
75
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:32,673
Aw, come on. Take a guess.
76
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:36,113
- Are you kidding?
- Go ahead. Take a guess.
77
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,549
Hey, Abbott!
78
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,712
Hey, Abbott!
79
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,265
This lady wants me
to guess her weight.
80
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,019
Well, what's so hard about that?
81
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,320
- Are you kidding?
- Well, let's see.
82
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,622
I'll guess the little
lady weighs about...
83
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:52,222
I'll safely say about 200
pounds, round figures.
84
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,130
I don't think you went
completely around.
85
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,169
Oh, well, now, leave
it to the professional.
86
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:57,269
Sit right down, Madam.
87
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,304
There we are.
88
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,208
And the little lady
weighs exactly.
89
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,937
Get me out of here! I'm stuck!
90
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,512
Get me out of here!
91
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:06,612
She broke our machine!
92
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:09,911
Don't stand back.
Get me out of here.
93
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:11,245
Help!
94
00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:13,286
Somebody do something!
95
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,218
Get me out of here!
96
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:16,051
Help!
97
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,556
Will you please
get me out of here?
98
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:18,657
I've got an idea.
99
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:20,250
I'll go across
here to the station.
100
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,360
Well, hurry up, will ya?
101
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:24,021
Help! Get me out of here!
102
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,155
Will you stop hitting me?
103
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,530
Help! Get me out of here!
104
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,604
Help! Get me out of here!
105
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:33,139
Help! Help!
106
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,868
I got to get someone.
I got to get help.
107
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,137
Help, help! Somebody,
help me, please!
108
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:38,507
Help, help!
109
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,807
Mister, just a minute.
110
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,178
Here. Thank you.
111
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,312
Here. Hold on to those balloons.
112
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:46,818
Now, hold on to them tight.
113
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,232
How do you like that?
The balloons is doing it.
114
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:51,020
I got brains!
115
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:55,061
Hey, I got you
out. I got you out.
116
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,063
How was that? You're out!
117
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,326
Come on.
118
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:02,894
See how smart I am?
119
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,528
The balloons lifted the lady up.
120
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,439
I do all the work, and
you take all the bows.
121
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:16,112
I'm sure you'll
like this apartment.
122
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:19,152
See? We have very
high-class tenants here, Sir.
123
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,312
It's very quiet
and most peaceful.
124
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,185
Swell. We hate nosy neighbors.
125
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:24,189
We like peace and quiet.
126
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,190
I understand.
127
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,470
Now, you take your neighbors
right across the hall there,
128
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,019
Mr. Bud Abbott and
Mr. Lou Costello.
129
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,155
Very high-class gentlemen.
130
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,393
Tend to their own business,
and they never annoy anyone.
131
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,026
That's exactly what we want.
132
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,736
Well, then, I'm sure
you'll love it here.
133
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,438
Is there a good place
to eat around here?
134
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,599
Yes, Ma'am, right next
door, a very fine restaurant.
135
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:42,948
Anything else I can do for you?
136
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,774
That's all, bub. Blow.
137
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,043
How long we going to stay
cooped up in this dump?
138
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,049
Take it easy, Olga.
139
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,585
You know we got to hide out here
140
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,019
until the heat's off that
last safe-blasting job.
141
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,020
What a life.
142
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,681
You grab 60,000 bucks on a job,
143
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,225
and we have to
live like hermits.
144
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,225
Aw, dry up.
145
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,694
I don't know, boy.
146
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,662
What is this town coming to?
147
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:07,256
Those two crooks, Chopper
Coyle and Moose Miller,
148
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,826
cracked another safe last
night, grabbed 60,000 dollars.
149
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,872
Boy, what I couldn't
do with 60,000.
150
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:13,997
Yeah.
151
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,001
Hello, chubby.
152
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,602
Dumb play, two-timer.
153
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,942
Who's your chum?
154
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:21,912
Don't be silly.
155
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,483
Just some guy who
gave me a free ride
156
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,894
on his "Guess Your
Weight" machine.
157
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,853
That's a likely story.
158
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,922
Any more monkey
business with that little punk
159
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,033
and I'll take both of you
for a ride in the country,
160
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,116
and you won't come back.
161
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,820
You and your jealous
disposition make me sick!
162
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,693
Someday, it'll make
you worse than sick!
163
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,426
Come on, turtledoves, you
can neck at the restaurant.
164
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,865
Come on!
165
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,527
What's with this doll?
166
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,197
Oh, she's just a nice girl that
I met on the street yesterday,
167
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:48,070
and I gave her
a weight for free.
168
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,405
Now, don't give me
that line of baby talk.
169
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,979
Come on. What is
this palsy-walsy stuff?
170
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,377
Come on. Now, give up.
171
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:55,710
Just like I told you.
172
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,443
Aw, stop. You
and that baby face.
173
00:06:57,550 --> 00:07:01,646
You're going to get in
trouble yet. Mark my words.
174
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,156
Hey, wait a minute.
175
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,089
What goes with this?
176
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:09,253
"Dapper Dan Davis."
177
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:10,455
That's you, all right.
178
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,623
"Dapper Dan Davis."
I'm not Dapper Dan Davis.
179
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:13,995
Were you in jail yesterday?
180
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,228
You know I wouldn't
go to jail without you.
181
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,669
Wait. Now, wait a
minute. That's you, all right.
182
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:19,671
Wait a minute, Abbott.
183
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:20,973
When things was a little slow,
184
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,373
I happened to walk up the
street a little bit by the jail.
185
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:25,154
I happened to be looking
in through the bars,
186
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,056
and I saw some guy taking
a picture of another guy,
187
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,208
and the guy ducked and
snapped with the picture.
188
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:30,215
And there it is.
189
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,649
That's the picture, all right.
190
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,049
"Confidence man." That's not me.
191
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,621
I never did nothing
wrong like this.
192
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:35,620
But that's you.
193
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:37,122
Look, Abbott,
there's only one...
194
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:38,782
There's no mistake
there, my boy.
195
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,259
There's only one face in
the world, and there it is.
196
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,853
There's a lot of faces
like mine in the country.
197
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,490
That's the only one of
its kind, and there it is.
198
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:47,794
Confidence man.
199
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,712
Why, boy, you know what
the police will do with you?
200
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:50,736
No.
201
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,848
Well, they're searching
the city right now for you.
202
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,472
- They are?
- They'll shoot you on sight.
203
00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:56,805
Abbott, I don't want to die.
I didn't do nothing wrong.
204
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,741
Take it easy! Let me think.
205
00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,088
I've got to go down
to the station house
206
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,910
and explain this to the police.
207
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,175
I'll explain it to them.
208
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,859
You stay right here.
Don't leave this apartment!
209
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,261
Tell them I got a
clean bill of health.
210
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,082
I didn't do nothing wrong.
211
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,786
That's all I do is get
you out of messes.
212
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,031
The only thing I ever
did wrong, Abbott,
213
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:13,015
was when I put the piggy
bank upside down, like that.
214
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,827
What's eating you?
215
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:17,989
Oh, I don't know, Chopper.
216
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:21,398
I feel funny, like one of my
dizzy spells was coming on.
217
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,969
Softie can't take it, huh?
218
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,970
Why don't you be quiet?
219
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,540
If you don't mind, I think
I'll go back to the apartment.
220
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,505
Okay.
221
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,042
But don't take a detour
222
00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:32,635
around some tall, dark,
and handsome roadblock.
223
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,443
Why, Chopper, you
talk like I was man-crazy.
224
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,245
Oh, skip it. We'll be
along in a moment.
225
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,354
Oh.
226
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,355
Oh, I made it.
227
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,235
Oh!
228
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,415
How do you do?
229
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,783
Lady, I think you're in
the wrong apartment.
230
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,981
You don't belong here.
231
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,990
You belong in the
apartment across...
232
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:18,683
Will you get out
of here, please?
233
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,283
Come on.
234
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,433
Come on, will you, please?
235
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,052
Come on.
236
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,562
Abbott ain't going to like it if
he finds you here now, lady.
237
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,896
Will you get up? I wonder
what happened to her.
238
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,730
Come on, lady.
239
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,375
Fifi?
240
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,206
Hey, Fifi, where are you?
241
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,179
Please, lady.
242
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:45,975
Abbott! Abbott!
243
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:46,985
Don't go away.
244
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,818
I'll get something
for you to drink.
245
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,448
She ain't there.
246
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:53,186
I wonder where that
two-timer could be.
247
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,727
Oh, don't blow
your top, Chopper.
248
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:55,727
She'll show up.
249
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,593
Probably dragging
some guy with her.
250
00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:58,721
Oh, she wouldn't do that.
251
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,562
No, wouldn't she?
She's done it before.
252
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,396
But this time, I'll show her.
253
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,766
I'll beat her and her
boyfriend to a pulp.
254
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,767
I got something for you.
255
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,172
Just come to a little bit
and take a little drink of this.
256
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,074
Come on. Take
a little drink, huh?
257
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,071
Feel better?
258
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,945
What am I taking them for?
259
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,814
Come on, lady. Will
you get out of here?
260
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:20,511
We're going to
both get in trouble.
261
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,646
Let me get you. Let
me get you like this.
262
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,417
Put your arm around
there and help me.
263
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,254
Put your arm around
there and help me.
264
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,624
Put your arm around
there and help me.
265
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,524
Do me a favor. Will
you get out of here?
266
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,578
If you don't, your husband
ain't going to like it.
267
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:36,846
I ain't going
to like it, either,
268
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,463
if Abbott finds me
in here with a girl.
269
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,631
Oh, my cute little
baby-faced friend
270
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:41,901
from the weighing machine.
271
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,102
- I like you.
- Good.
272
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,179
Come on, now.
Let's get out of here.
273
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,578
I'll go, but first,
you've got to kiss me.
274
00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:49,580
I will not.
275
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:50,860
I never kissed a
girl in all my life.
276
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:51,749
I'm not going to kiss
you. Come on, now.
277
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,787
- Get out of here.
- Then I won't go.
278
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,516
Oh, all right. I'll
give you a kiss.
279
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,354
Go ahead. Pucker up your lips.
280
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,005
Huh? You feel better now?
Come on, lady, will you, please?
281
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:04,258
I feel better.
282
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:05,474
Good. Come on.
Get in your own joint.
283
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,397
Much better.
284
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:07,776
- You're all right now?
- Oh, much better.
285
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,859
That's good.
286
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,368
Oh. Oh, no.
287
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,904
Oh, no.
288
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,132
We're off again.
289
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,708
Look, lady, I've got to get
you out of here. Come on.
290
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:17,208
Wait a minute. I
forgot something.
291
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,074
I know. You forgot
to go to your own joint.
292
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,408
No, I forgot my purse.
293
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,744
Oh, sure. Get the
purse over there.
294
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,114
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
295
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,852
Oh, you're so good to me.
296
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,195
I wish you'd stopped, though,
on the weigh-in joint today
297
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,659
instead of stopping by me.
298
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,753
Thank you so much
for bringing me home.
299
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,456
Your husband ain't
going to like this.
300
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:39,565
Don't worry about him.
301
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,568
He's still down
at the restaurant.
302
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:46,504
If I get you over here,
will you take it from there?
303
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,040
I'll stand right there.
304
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,838
Good. Just knock
on the door, and I'll...
305
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,207
Come on. Will you, lady?
306
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,907
Come on.
307
00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:00,647
Oh, baby face.
308
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:06,320
Hey, Moose, get a load of this.
309
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,456
Where have I seen
that face before?
310
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,395
That squab doesn't
show up pretty soon,
311
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:15,058
I'm going looking
for her with a gat.
312
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:21,773
Chubby pal.
313
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:24,709
You're like the
romantic knights of old.
314
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:26,473
You brought Fifi home.
315
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,577
Oh!
316
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:36,953
Hey, what's the big idea?
Don't you know that's my wife?
317
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,218
Wait a minute, Mr. Fifi. I
can explain the whole thing.
318
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:42,295
Well, you start off
by explaining this.
319
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:45,731
Get off of my wife!
320
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:50,135
No guy's going to mess around
with my Fifi and not get the works.
321
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:51,431
Hey, wait a minute, Chopper.
322
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:52,561
That's Dapper Dan Davis,
323
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,504
the greatest confidence
man of them all.
324
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,769
- How do you know?
- Just take a look at the paper.
325
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:59,004
Let me see that.
326
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:02,907
Yeah, you're right.
It is Dapper Dan.
327
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:04,348
You're lucky.
328
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,810
If you hadn't have
been Dapper Dan,
329
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:08,014
I'd have busted you to pieces.
330
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,488
Boy, am I glad I'm Dapper Dan.
331
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,059
Yeah. Say, how did you
get tangled up with Fifi
332
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,388
in the first place?
333
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,639
Mr. Fifi, I was sitting in my
room, minding my own business.
334
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:17,562
Yeah.
335
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,962
And I happened to turn around,
336
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,658
and she was
sitting on the chair.
337
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:21,894
She was like fainted.
338
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,027
So I brought
her to a little bit,
339
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,163
and I got her and I
brought her across
340
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,983
and I brought her into
here where she belongs.
341
00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:31,136
You know, if you didn't
have such a terrific reputation
342
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,576
for being an honest crook,
343
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:33,679
I wouldn't believe you.
344
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:34,907
- Shake.
- Okay.
345
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:36,294
Hey, you know
something, Chopper?
346
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,510
If Dan would team up with us,
347
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,745
we'd make the greatest
outfit in the business.
348
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:42,686
With Dan's brains and you
and Moose for the rough stuff,
349
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,018
we'd drive the cops nuts.
350
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,386
Say, that's a great idea.
351
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,491
Not bad.
352
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:50,463
Say, tell me, whatever
happened to Slick Watson,
353
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,156
the partner you
used to work with?
354
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,166
Hey, Costello, where are you?
355
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:57,066
That's Slick now.
That's my partner, Slick.
356
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,036
Who's this Costello guy?
357
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:00,138
That's me.
358
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,199
That's the name
I'm using in this joint.
359
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:04,243
Aw, smart idea to
keep shifting names.
360
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,676
Keeps the flatfeet guessing.
361
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:06,643
Yeah. I'll go get him.
362
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,442
Never mind, never mind.
363
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,107
I'll go get Slick.
364
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,015
He's bashful around people.
I got to talk to him first.
365
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:16,419
Stick around. Don't go away.
366
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,949
Hey, we're in luck.
367
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:21,994
Dapper Dan and Slick
are smart operators.
368
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,996
Even when the cops
do catch up with them,
369
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,121
they always beat the rap.
370
00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,290
Maybe you're right.
371
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,959
We'll give them a chance to
help us work out that big safe job
372
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:29,865
at the union warehouse.
373
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,404
Now you're being smart, Chopper.
374
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,770
I'm Dapper Dan, and
you're Slick Watson.
375
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,207
And if we don't tell them
that, we're dead ducks.
376
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,903
All right, now, listen.
377
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,411
I'll string along with you.
378
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:41,572
You're Dapper Dan.
379
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:42,721
I'll string along tonight,
380
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,183
but tomorrow,
we get rid of them.
381
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:45,763
I'm only doing this
to save your neck.
382
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,463
You don't mean it when you're
calling me Dapper Dan now,
383
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,011
do you?
384
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:48,611
You're only kidding.
385
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,189
Oh, certainly not.
Let them think it.
386
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,767
Let's go in now before
they get suspicious.
387
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:52,815
Go ahead.
388
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,392
This is my partner,
Slick Watson.
389
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,108
- Glad to know you, Slick.
- How do you do?
390
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,725
I'm Chopper Coyle.
This is Moose.
391
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,358
Glad to know you, Moose.
392
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,367
- Olga.
- Howdy.
393
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,767
- Fifi.
- Hiya, Fifi.
394
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:07,739
I was just reading about the
60,000 dollar job you pulled off.
395
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,400
60,000 bucks.
396
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,411
Dan, chicken feed.
397
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,276
We don't go in for
that small change.
398
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,747
Why, a year ago, we
knocked off a millionaire oilman
399
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,784
down in Texas
for a million bucks.
400
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,615
A million bucks?
401
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,720
Certainly.
402
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,950
Why, he was so
ashamed of himself,
403
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,684
the way we outslicked him,
404
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,852
he didn't even report
it to the coppers.
405
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,394
Hey, that's big-league stuff.
406
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,430
Maybe you can show
these muscle heads
407
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:34,023
how to keep the cops from
breathing down our necks.
408
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,032
What's the matter?
409
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,245
The bluecoats getting
too close to you.
410
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,465
No, not too close. We
got another job planned.
411
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,472
How'd you guys
like to come in on it?
412
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,735
Well, it's all according.
413
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:43,901
All right, swell.
414
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,638
Look, you two girls
go out in the kitchen
415
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,236
and brew us some
coffee, will ya?
416
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,008
I'll show the boys the layout.
417
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:49,878
Come on over here.
418
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:51,245
- Hey.
- No, not you.
419
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,655
It will be our
first job together.
420
00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,954
What's the matter?
421
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:02,927
What is it?
422
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:07,729
This will be our first job
together, the Union warehouse.
423
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,269
Now, this is the main
storage space in here.
424
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,497
There's a lot of crates
and boxes and stuff.
425
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,734
Over here's the office.
The safe's right in there.
426
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:18,573
Ought to be at least,
oh, 200 grand in the box.
427
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,078
How about the night watchman?
428
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,670
He hangs out right here.
429
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,774
- I'll take care of him, Chopper.
- Good.
430
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,228
That takes care of
the night watchman.
431
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:28,551
Well, what do you
boys think of the picture?
432
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,919
I like it better than
the "Whistler's Mother."
433
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,892
Hey, when are we going to bang
that warehouse for the 200 grand?
434
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,394
Tomorrow night, chum.
435
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,590
The four of us will
pull the job together,
436
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,633
along with a couple
of my regular boys.
437
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,894
You fellas carrying gats?
438
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,130
Not him, but I
got a little gitten.
439
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,369
Dan must have his little joke.
440
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,102
Well, we'll run along,
see you tomorrow.
441
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,701
Wait a minute. Nobody
leaves this room.
442
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,556
It's a rule of our mob
that we all stick together
443
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,741
until the job's over.
444
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:56,848
Chopper's right.
445
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,627
That way, we're sure
that no one can get gabby
446
00:16:58,651 --> 00:16:59,744
and tip off the cops.
447
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,751
Wait a minute.
448
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,516
You mean, I and him...
We got to stay here all night?
449
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,623
You heard the man.
450
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,888
I heard the man. I
heard him plain as day.
451
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,224
I think if you don't mind,
can I go and get my pajamas?
452
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:10,694
Okay, but make it snappy.
453
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:14,028
Thank you. Thank you.
454
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:17,831
Hey, do you mind if I
bring back my little gitten?
455
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:21,135
Go ahead, will ya?
Go ahead and get them.
456
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,301
You know, for a guy with
such a terrific reputation
457
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:25,742
in our business,
458
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,677
Dapper Dan is a queer duck.
459
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,078
Well, he's such a genius,
460
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,582
no one knows what he's
going to say or do next.
461
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,448
You said it, brother.
462
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,318
Well, that's what makes him
such a great confidence man.
463
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:38,391
You see, he acts so dumb,
464
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,790
no one would suspect
him of outsmarting them.
465
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,987
I see what you
mean. He fools me.
466
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,256
Me, too.
467
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:47,856
Oh, so help me, Mike,
you got to believe me.
468
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,401
Now, this is a setup.
469
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,198
Yeah, Costello. I got it.
470
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,136
Union warehouse, tomorrow night.
471
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:56,141
I think you're crazy,
but we'll be there.
472
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,711
Thanks. Thanks, Mike.
473
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:00,773
What's keeping him?
474
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,180
I could have made a pair
of pajamas by this time.
475
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:05,478
Well, I found them.
476
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,111
What do I do now?
477
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,779
Make yourself at home.
478
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,687
Make myself a home?
I don't have the time.
479
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,283
And with the price of labor
and materials the way it is.
480
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,123
Oh, sit down, will you?
481
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,719
That's Dapper Dan.
482
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,822
I wish the girls would
hurry up with that coffee.
483
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,230
Me, too.
484
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,463
Quite a jokester, ain't you?
485
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,077
I killed the night watchman.
486
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,547
Swell. We don't
want no interference.
487
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,828
Hey, Chopper, you sure the
girls got the signals straight?
488
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:16,254
Don't worry about them.
They're out in the getaway cars.
489
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:17,823
The cops start messing around,
490
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,119
they'll give three loud
blasts on the auto horn.
491
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,819
- Sounds foolproof.
- It is.
492
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:23,447
By the time the cops
could get in here,
493
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,157
we'd have the stuff and be gone.
494
00:19:25,264 --> 00:19:27,756
Come on. Let's go
to work on the safe.
495
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,475
Boy, is this the perfect setup.
496
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,868
We're as snug as a bug in a rug.
497
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:36,698
The cops!
498
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:39,677
Yeah, five seconds after we
walk in the joint, the blues move in.
499
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:40,940
Somebody tipped them.
500
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,778
You're right as rain,
Moose. But who done it?
501
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,818
I telephoned Mike.
502
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,682
You and your big mouth.
503
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:48,652
If anyone squealed to the cops,
504
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:50,484
I'll lay 100 to 1 it was
these two phonies.
505
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:51,669
What are you talking about?
506
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,215
That's Dapper Dan
and Slick Watson.
507
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,556
Slick...? That
ain't Slick Watson.
508
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:57,596
I done time with
Slick, and that ain't him.
509
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,632
Hey, Chopper, I bet
when the little fat one
510
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,325
sneaked out for his
pajamas last night,
511
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:02,333
he called the cops.
512
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,435
Yeah.
513
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,870
What about it?
514
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,044
All right. Come
on. End of the line.
515
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:13,874
Come on, girls.
516
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:16,005
Okay, okay.
517
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,584
Come on, sister.
518
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:28,177
Hey, Moose, what
are you doing here?
519
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,619
What are you sitting down for?
520
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:31,213
Don't you know we're
looking for them?
521
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,792
Well, this is no
time to fix your tie.
522
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:37,057
- Do you know which way they went?
- You don't?
523
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,207
Do you mean to tell me you
don't know which way they went?
524
00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:40,442
You've been sitting
here all the time.
525
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,697
What have you been
doing? You don't know?
526
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,533
Oh, come on, Moose. You
know which way they went.
527
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:46,695
What's the matter?
528
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,071
What's the matter?
You got a bum tooth?
529
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,301
Both sides bad teeth?
530
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:54,812
Oh, no. Earache?
531
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,543
Really? Oh, you look terrible.
532
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:58,549
Yeah, you look bad.
533
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,552
What happened to you, Moose?
534
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,054
Oh, Moose, you
haven't lost your...
535
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,681
Oh, what's the matter?
536
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:07,453
You got a cold?
537
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,928
Oh. Oh, that's terrible, Moose.
538
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:13,295
How bad is your cold?
539
00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:14,492
You don't know?
540
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,001
Well, look, Moose,
can you remember now,
541
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,571
which way did they go?
542
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,436
You don't... Oh,
Moose, try and think.
543
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,338
Think. Which way did they go?
544
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:25,911
Come on. Tell me, Moose.
Which way did they go?
545
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,175
You don't know? Oh, Moose.
546
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,806
Come on, Moose, tell me.
547
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,851
That way? Good...
548
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:43,652
Moose... How is
your cold, Moose?
549
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:46,360
Oh, fine.
550
00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:47,660
That's it, Moose.
551
00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:49,166
Wipe your nose good.
552
00:22:49,268 --> 00:22:52,204
Now, you just keep wiping
your nose good, Moose,
553
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:55,468
because just as soon as I...
554
00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,311
Oh!
555
00:23:09,421 --> 00:23:10,218
Chopper!
556
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:12,621
What's the matter?
557
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:38,663
Wonder where they could be.
558
00:23:38,717 --> 00:23:39,844
Don't worry. We'll find him.
559
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:42,012
- Hey, maybe he went in there.
- Yeah.
560
00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:45,521
He's got it bolted inside.
561
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:46,216
I got an idea.
562
00:23:46,325 --> 00:23:47,736
Let's use this pipe
for a battering ram.
563
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,760
Good idea. Come on.
564
00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:51,296
You two get up
front. I'll take the back.
565
00:23:51,397 --> 00:23:53,457
All right. You ready? One!
566
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,680
Look, we'll never get
this pipe through that door
567
00:23:58,704 --> 00:24:00,248
if you guys don't
put a little beef in it!
568
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,036
Come on! Now, this is it! Two!
569
00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:07,105
One more! Three!
570
00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:11,846
All right. Here we go. Wait
a minute, wait a minute.
571
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:13,613
You're going too
fast. All together.
572
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:16,621
Four! Here we go!
573
00:24:40,746 --> 00:24:44,513
What kept you, you
slowpoke? Get in here.
40970
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