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1
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,195
[Applause]
2
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:37,247
We've got to get to a
phone and call about that job.
3
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,136
Abbott, I'm hungry.
4
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:40,605
Oh, you're always
talking about eating.
5
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,227
Is that all you can
think of is eating?
6
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,076
- No, I think of other things.
- For instance?
7
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,874
- Dessert.
- Dessert. Dessert?
8
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:46,979
Hey, wait a minute.
9
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,982
Bacciagalupe just opened
a place down the street.
10
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:49,515
He did?
11
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:50,675
Come on.
12
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:54,611
Hello, Bacciagalupe.
13
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,656
Why, Luigi, my
friend, and Mr. Abbott.
14
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,268
How are you feel? I
no look at you long time.
15
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,385
Say, Bacciagalupe...
16
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,051
Mmm.
17
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:03,130
What is that smells so
good, Bacciagalupe?
18
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:07,257
That's my famous spaghetti
al dente a la Bacciagalupe.
19
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,733
This is the best spaghetti
20
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:11,066
what you ever taste
out of you whole life.
21
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,572
I'm making my
sauce with abalone.
22
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:16,470
Bologna in the spaghetti?
23
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,671
Abalone, abalone, abalone.
24
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,145
Abalone's a clam.
25
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,375
You know how to make
a bologna out of clams?
26
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:25,111
Luigi, I got a dish for you.
27
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,949
This the best dish what you
taste since you was a baby.
28
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,622
Milk?
29
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,419
No!
30
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,753
Milk?
31
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,217
Milk.
32
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:35,523
- Mr. Abbott.
- What?
33
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,325
[Speaking Italian]
34
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,956
Sure, sure.
35
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,297
Sure, sure, I know that.
36
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:43,027
Do you understand what he said?
37
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:43,728
Sure.
38
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,465
- What did he say?
- I don't know.
39
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,303
Meatballs!
40
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,005
Meatballs!
41
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,138
Meatballs!
42
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,910
Oh, wait a minute!
Just wait a minute!
43
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,044
Get them away!
Bacciagalupe, wait, wait.
44
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,451
Oh. What's wrong?
45
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,555
Meatballs!
46
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,215
What?
47
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,368
When it... When it comes
to meatballs, he's allergic.
48
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,223
He's a jerk?
49
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:08,522
No, no, no, no, no. He
just don't like meatballs.
50
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:11,631
I like ask you question...
Why he no like meatballs?
51
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,563
I don't know. I've never been
able to get him to eat a meatball.
52
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:18,297
Maybe it's a big mistake.
Maybe it's a sabotage.
53
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:21,375
Maybe you labor under
the wrong impression.
54
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,373
Somebody start a
propaganda for my meatball,
55
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,775
that's no good for my business.
56
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,608
Mr. Bacciagalupe, I
don't like meatballs,
57
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,443
and you can't make
me eat meatballs.
58
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:31,211
You can't make me eat meatballs.
Nobody can make me eat meatballs!
59
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,843
If I don't want to
eat meatballs...
60
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,955
[Speaking indistinctly]
61
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,660
What's a matter here,
you make a big noise?
62
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,992
All right, you no like meatball?
63
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:43,529
No.
64
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,258
Take me... I going to fix you...
65
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:47,664
I going to show you just
how is made the meatball.
66
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:51,705
I'm not going to eat meatballs
for you or nobody else.
67
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,070
[Speaking Italian]
68
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:57,936
I know it.
69
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,689
- You understand what he says?
- Certainly.
70
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,046
- What did he say?
- Same as before.
71
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:04,480
Look, you afraid of
meatball? I going to fix it.
72
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:05,244
You like this?
73
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,963
That's chopped meat,
just like a hamburger.
74
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,649
- Oh, I love hamburger.
- All right, then.
75
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,779
I'll have hamburger.
76
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,052
Now, you got nothing
against onion, huh?
77
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:12,922
Oh, I like onions.
78
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,026
- You like onion?
- Yeah.
79
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,151
That's a onion, huh?
80
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,040
I'm going to mix the
onions with the hamburger.
81
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,692
Hey, you see? That's parsley.
82
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,176
Oh, that's small
lettuce. I love that.
83
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,277
You no afraid of parsley?
- No.
84
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,964
That's parsley, onion, hamburger,
hamburger, onion, and parsley,
85
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,266
parsley, hamburger.
86
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,250
Parsley, hamburger,
onion, parsley, hamburger...
87
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,072
- Now, you hold this plate, right?
- Okay.
88
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,405
Now I going to show you.
89
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:34,072
You take over here one little
meat, huh, little onion, huh?
90
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:34,614
Yeah.
91
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:35,808
Little parsley, huh?
92
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,044
Now, watch what I show
you, huh? Big magic.
93
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,517
[Singing]
94
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,645
I'm going to have
a nice hamburger.
95
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,246
There, you see? Meatball.
96
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:45,291
Meatball!
97
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,554
Meatball!
98
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:59,205
[Speaking Italian]
99
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:02,902
- Hey, fatsy!
- Hey, Stinky.
100
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,420
- Hey. Hi, fatsy.
- What are you doing?
101
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,969
Hey, you want to
play cards with me?
102
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,390
- You want to trade?
- Pick your cards.
103
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,211
- Trade.
- Yeah.
104
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:08,839
Okay.
105
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:11,094
Have you... Have you got
a... A picture of Sitting Bull?
106
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,381
Sitting Bull.
107
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:13,810
Yep.
108
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,445
Hey, you want to trade it?
109
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,433
How many... How many cards
you give me for Sitting Bull?
110
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,481
I'll give you six.
111
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,424
Are you kidding, Stinky?!
112
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:21,790
Well, how many do you want?
113
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,415
I want more than
that for Sitting Bull.
114
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,058
- How many is more than that?
- How many you got?
115
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:27,998
I got about 50.
116
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:28,966
50?
117
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,264
You really want Sitting Bull?
118
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,410
I want it badly because I
haven't got one like that.
119
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,517
Well, there's only one
Sitting Bull on the whole block!
120
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,621
Well, that's why I want it.
121
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:38,201
I'll give you one of Sitting
Bull, you give me all your cards.
122
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,304
All the c... Ooh,
you're such a hog!
123
00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:43,826
- Don't hit me, Stinky, now.
- Well, you're going to either get...
124
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:44,715
Don't hit me like that.
125
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:45,547
Ow.
126
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:46,176
I hurt you?
127
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,687
- Yeah, come on, stop.
- I hurt him.
128
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:49,586
Come on. Cut it out.
129
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:50,933
You want to trade picture cards?
130
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,102
If you want Sitting Bull, you
got to give me all the cards,
131
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,570
or I ain't going to
play with you no more!
132
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:55,220
Well...
133
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,839
And another thing
I'm going to tell you...
134
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,041
Yesterday, with that bread
and butter that you gave me...
135
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,658
That wasn't bread and butter.
136
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:01,564
What was it?
137
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,160
Bread and lard,
and I don't like lard.
138
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,603
Well, come on, I...
139
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:06,900
Is it more?
140
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:07,667
All you got.
141
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:08,774
All right, here.
142
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,640
- Sitting Bull.
- Give me Sitting Bull.
143
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,089
- There's Sitting Bull, and...
- I wouldn't do this with everybody.
144
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,113
And I got all the cards.
145
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:17,015
Hey, this... this is not...
This is standing up.
146
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,848
You gave me the wrong
one. I want him sitting.
147
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,046
Well, tell him to sit down.
148
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,952
Ohh, you're such a pig!
149
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:29,223
Ohh!
150
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:47,210
Hey, Lou, look up the
Fields' Employment Agency.
151
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,249
- We've got to get you a job.
- I'll get a job.
152
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,011
Here's 40 cents.
153
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:52,608
And don't forget,
you owe me 40 cents.
154
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,363
- Now I owe you 40 cents.
- Now, don't forget it.
155
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:56,481
We're off again. Now
I owe him 40 cents.
156
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,650
Call Fields' Employment Agency.
157
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:20,876
Operator?
158
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,413
Wrong number.
159
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,619
I didn't even ask her
nothing. I just said, "Operator."
160
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,087
What's the matter with her?
161
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,220
Ah, I got it back.
162
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,226
Operator, will you please
give me Alexander 4444?
163
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,061
Line's busy.
164
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,308
How dare you laugh
on my birthday?
165
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,716
Operator, let me have long
distance, please... Sydney, Australia.
166
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,184
Yes.
167
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,448
Hello, Sydney?
168
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:04,683
Let me have Mr. Smith's
kangaroo farm.
169
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,191
Yes, please.
170
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:09,388
Hello, Mr. Smith. How's
the kangaroo farm?
171
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:12,694
Fine, fine. Thank you.
172
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,097
Hey, how is everything?
173
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,032
The whole place is jumping.
174
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,074
Whole place is
jumping... Kangaroo farm.
175
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,665
That was a funny one.
176
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,014
I just dropped a
nickel right there.
177
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:33,751
Hello, Operator?
178
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,322
Will you please let me
have Alexander 4444?
179
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,549
Line is busy.
180
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,466
Hello, Operator?
181
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,041
Let me have long distance.
182
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,507
Hello, long distance?
183
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:59,238
I want to talk to the
Consolidated Coffee Company
184
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:02,111
in Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.
185
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:05,643
Hello, Joe. How's
the coffee business?
186
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:07,050
Just a grind, eh?
187
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,587
Good-bye.
188
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,994
Operator, if you don't mind,
189
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,593
would you please give
me Alexander 4444?
190
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,171
OPERATOR: What number, please?
191
00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:26,967
Alexander 4444!
192
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,668
It's only two blocks down here,
Fields' Employment Agency!
193
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,769
You're getting Europe and
everything for everybody else.
194
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,713
This is a local call,
two blocks from here...
195
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,579
Alexander 4444!
196
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,051
OPERATOR: Line's busy.
197
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,883
Line's busy...
198
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,720
Line's busy.
199
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:49,056
Line's busy.
200
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:53,663
There's more people in
this joint using the phone...
201
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,258
Long distance?
202
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,462
Oh, yes, I want a
person-to-person call
203
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,904
to Signor Graziani
in Milano, Italy.
204
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,475
Thank you.
205
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,907
Oh, Signor Graziani, come sta?
206
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,414
Oh, I'm so glad to hear you.
207
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,985
Oh, yes, this is Nicola...
Remember, your pupil?
208
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:12,711
Yes.
209
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:15,288
I went to the American
picture you sent me to.
210
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,357
Oh, it's wonderful. Prezioso.
211
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,426
Yes, listen to this.
212
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,586
[Singing in Italian]
213
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:38,944
Bye!
214
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,338
[Indistinct singing]
215
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:52,153
Everybody in this popping house
is getting their numbers but me.
216
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:59,326
Operator, will you please get
me Alexander 4444, please?
217
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,730
OPERATOR: What number, please?
218
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,268
Alexander 4444.
219
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,495
OPERATOR: Number, please?
220
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,128
Alexander 4444!
221
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:08,037
It's only two blocks
away from here!
222
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,736
OPERATOR: Sorry, line's busy.
223
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,873
Line's busy.
224
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:20,710
Long distance?
225
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:24,348
I would like to talk
to Chambersburg, PA.
226
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,016
Hello, Joe?
227
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,591
No. No!
228
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:32,960
Oh!
229
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,591
What? No!
230
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,000
What did...? Oh, no!
231
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,107
Operator, may I
have Alexander 4444?
232
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,677
Sorry, the line's busy.
233
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,268
I blew that one myself. Unh!
234
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,041
I blew that one myself.
235
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,851
May I please...?
236
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,618
May I please have
Alexander 4444?
237
00:11:31,724 --> 00:11:33,090
OPERATOR: What
number do you wish?
238
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,788
Alexander 4444!
239
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,158
OPERATOR: What number?
240
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,391
Alexander four 4s!
241
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:42,229
Oh, Alexander 16.
242
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,428
Look, lady, you
don't add them up.
243
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,269
These 4s are individual,
separate, away from each other.
244
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,173
Oh, you want to
talk to your mother.
245
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,676
I don't want to
speak to my mother.
246
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,217
I want to speak to Fields'
Employment Agency!
247
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,811
Will you please give
me Alexander 4444?!
248
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,549
A little louder, please.
249
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,090
4444!
250
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,660
OPERATOR: A
little louder, please.
251
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,738
If I speak any louder, I
won't have to call him up!
252
00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:11,287
The guy will hear me!
253
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,593
Alexander 4444!
254
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:16,397
OPERATOR: A
little louder, please.
255
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,565
How can the line be busy for me
256
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,235
and everybody else
gets the phone number
257
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,539
in this apartment house?!
258
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:29,480
Every time I want to use
the phone, it's always busy!
259
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:31,075
Huh?
260
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:32,845
Who?
261
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:35,083
Me?
262
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:38,751
I'm as dry as can be!
263
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,609
Where's the Abbott
and Costello apartment?
264
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,640
Abbott and Costello's apartment?
265
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,732
That door right over there.
266
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,779
Operator? Operator?
267
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,557
I must have plugged
in Niagara Falls.
268
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,824
Abbott, I couldn't get
the Employment Agency
269
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:16,759
on that telephone.
270
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:17,973
That's the busiest telephone.
271
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,908
Everybody in the rooming
house... They called all over Europe.
272
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,510
I couldn't even get two
blocks down to Mr. Fields,
273
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,365
the Employment Agency.
274
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,096
So, you didn't get the
Employment Agency?
275
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,314
- I didn't get it.
- Now what?
276
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:26,829
- I'm still hungry.
- I...
277
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,134
Wait a minute.
278
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,870
There's another place just
opened up down the street.
279
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,878
- Come on.
- Here we go.
280
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,845
Thank you.
281
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,385
Just a minute.
282
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,628
Say, I don't like this place.
283
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,961
There's only been one
male customer in here all day.
284
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,262
Don't you think about
anything but men?
285
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,337
There's something else?
286
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,639
- Hello.
- How do?
287
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:09,387
Would you gentlemen
like something to eat?
288
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,283
Yes, I'll have a turkey
sandwich and a cup of coffee.
289
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,385
All right, and you?
290
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,216
I-I-I'd like...
291
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,448
Just a minute.
292
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,184
You know all we've
got is a quarter.
293
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,987
Now, listen, you
can't order anything.
294
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,739
- All we've got is 25 cents.
- I know. I don't get the idea, though.
295
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:25,474
Now, listen, if she asks
you if you want anything,
296
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:26,775
you say, "I don't
care for anything."
297
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,010
Why should I say
that? I'm hungry.
298
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,278
'Cause all we've
got is a quarter.
299
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,703
Look, I'll order a turkey
sandwich and a cup of coffee,
300
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:33,636
and when she serves
it, I'll give you half.
301
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:36,073
But if she asks you,
you don't want anything.
302
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,386
If she says to me,
"What do you want?"
303
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,520
I say, "I don't
care for nothing."
304
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,570
You don't care for
nothing, all right? Come on.
305
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,378
Ma'am, I'll have a turkey
sandwich and a cup of coffee.
306
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,282
All right, and what
is it you'd like?
307
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,911
I don't care for nothing.
308
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:48,919
Wait a minute, now.
309
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,820
You come in here to eat, didn't
you? It's a restaurant, isn't it?
310
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:52,254
Yeah.
311
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,122
The lady wants to know
what you want to eat.
312
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,059
You want something.
313
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,323
I'll have some ham and eggs.
314
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,557
Ohh!
315
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:01,460
What did I tell you?
316
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,866
Didn't I tell you not to
say you wanted anything?
317
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,461
Yeah, but after all, you said...
318
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,836
Never mind what I say.
All we've got is our quarter.
319
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,738
How about the way
you looked at me?
320
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,208
What do you care
how I look at you?
321
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:11,777
I mean...
322
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:15,508
Look, Lou, please, we've
got only a quarter to our name.
323
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:16,878
Don't order anything.
324
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,427
- Don't slap me in the face.
- All right.
325
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,828
If she asks you if
you want something,
326
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,063
say, "I don't care
for anything."
327
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,687
- I don't care for nothing.
- That's all.
328
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,781
Now, remember that. Come on.
329
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:26,016
Sit down.
330
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,525
Now, what was it you wanted?
331
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,688
I'll have a turkey sandwich
and a cup of coffee.
332
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:31,662
All right.
333
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,527
And you?
334
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:33,725
I don't care for nothing.
335
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,825
Oh, go ahead.
Have a bite to eat.
336
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,837
- I don't want nothing.
- Take something small.
337
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,916
- I don't care for nothing.
- Take something small.
338
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,841
- What do you care?
- Give me a small steak.
339
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,103
Ohh!
340
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:45,905
What are you ordering
a small steak for?!
341
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:47,189
What do you keep coshing me for?
342
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,841
All we got is our quarter.
343
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,712
We can't buy no steaks.
344
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:51,375
Then...
345
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:52,995
I'll give you half of
the turkey sandwich.
346
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,463
I know, but you had
that look in your eyes,
347
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,799
like, "Go ahead. Take something.
Go ahead. Take something."
348
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:59,156
The look is not in my
pocket. All I've got is a quarter.
349
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,369
I'm full up. I
don't want a thing.
350
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,970
- Don't say anything else.
- I lost my appetite.
351
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,839
- Just say you don't want anything.
- I don't want nothing.
352
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:04,863
- All right.
- Okay, then.
353
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:05,964
Sit down.
354
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:08,694
A turkey sandwich and
a cup of coffee, please.
355
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,530
All right.
356
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,413
- I don't care for nothing.
- He don't want anything.
357
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:12,548
Oh, he doesn't want anything?
358
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,183
No, I'm filled up. I don't
want nothing to eat.
359
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:15,818
- You don't want anything?
- I got no appetite.
360
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:18,676
- Well, go ahead, have something.
- I don't care for nothing.
361
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:21,270
You want something
to eat, don't you?
362
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,372
What do people go
into restaurants for?
363
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,060
- To get something to eat.
- That's right.
364
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,552
What are you doing here?
365
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,996
I don't know. I-I
don't care for nothing.
366
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,682
You've got to have something.
367
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,349
You need nourishment.
You've got to build your body up.
368
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,619
Look at yourself.
369
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,471
- I don't care for nothing.
- You look hungry.
370
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,519
Psst, psst, psst.
371
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,224
Go ahead. Order something.
372
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,231
Give me ham and eggs.
373
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,801
What did I tell you?!
374
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,529
What do you keep
coshing me for?!
375
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,865
Never mind that, Lou!
376
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:47,065
- I mean, you're very persistent!
- Shh.
377
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,418
I was playing my part. I kept
saying, "I don't care for nothing."
378
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:49,932
Stick to it.
379
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,753
"Go on. Pick something.
Go ahead. Don't make..."
380
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,337
Never mind that. Never mind
that. You don't want anything to eat.
381
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:55,724
I told you I don't
want nothing to eat!
382
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,376
Well, stick to it!
383
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,712
Sit down.
384
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,947
My turkey sandwich and
a cup of coffee, please.
385
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,614
- All right.
- I don't care for nothing.
386
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,351
I'll be right back.
387
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:15,591
Hi, fellas, what's
it going to be?
388
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,164
Say, you're cute.
389
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:19,831
Now, look, sister,
what do I have to do,
390
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,737
write it out for you?
391
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,968
I ordered a turkey
sandwich and a cup of coffee.
392
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:26,476
Look, chum, you got a
problem? I'll get it for you, already.
393
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,878
Say, you're cute.
394
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,826
- What'll you have?
- I don't care for nothing.
395
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,842
Well, go ahead. Have something.
396
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,429
I don't care for nothing.
You remember...
397
00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:35,453
Now, wait a minute.
398
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:36,888
Lou, after all is said and done,
399
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,821
you know, they pay
money for a license here
400
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:40,120
to run a restaurant.
401
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,837
They don't get those
things for free, you know.
402
00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,105
They've got to take
in money and a...
403
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,273
Psst, psst, remember what you...
404
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,937
All right, go ahead.
Have something small.
405
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,399
Oh, no, I-I said that before...
"I'll take something small."
406
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,525
You remember? And...
407
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,627
All right, then
take something big.
408
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,399
I'll have a big steak.
409
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,998
Will you stop coshing me?!
410
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,942
Will you stop saying, "I want
something to eat," all the time?
411
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,323
I stick to my part. I keep
saying I don't care for nothing.
412
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,179
You go ahead, you
say, "Go on. Go ahead.
413
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,260
Take something small. Take
something big. Go ahead."
414
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,479
Never mind what I say.
415
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,454
Don't say anything. Keep
your mouth shut, then.
416
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:10,853
Now sit down.
417
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,422
I don't care for nothing.
418
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:17,686
Now, I'll have my turkey sandwich
and a cup of coffee, please.
419
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,289
Okay, but you...
420
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,664
You can have a
piece of cake on me.
421
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,731
What is this?
422
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:28,139
Thank you.
423
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240
For free?
424
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,143
Sorry it took me so long.
425
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,915
Say, just a minute.
426
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:43,956
That'll be 10 cents, please.
427
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,702
She just gave me the cake.
She takes it away again.
428
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:47,886
I don't understand this girl.
429
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,438
First she goes for
you, then me, then you.
430
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,488
- I think she's pickled.
- She's tickled, you mean.
431
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:52,860
I don't care what. Hey.
432
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,162
Do you like cranberries?
433
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,860
I love cranberries.
434
00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,381
I like them, too,
but I can't have any.
435
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:00,405
Shut up.
436
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,668
I'll go get you some.
437
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,313
I'm sorry. There's no
more turkey in the house.
438
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:15,718
I've already got
my turkey sandwich.
439
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,813
You got to watch those turkeys.
440
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,256
Say, what's the matter,
fatso? Don't you like your cake?
441
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:21,952
It's for free.
442
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,840
She gives me the cake,
then she takes it away,
443
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,008
now she gives it to me again.
444
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,399
I don't know whether she
likes you or going for me.
445
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,799
I don't know what...
446
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:33,905
Aw, come on. Live a little.
447
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,231
Hey, what's that?
448
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,708
She just went...
449
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,702
Of course.
450
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:40,541
You did, too.
451
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:41,646
Oh, quiet.
452
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,081
Me, too.
453
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:51,753
Well.
454
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,792
Here's your cranberries.
455
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:58,556
I told you that's
going to be 10 cents.
456
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,498
Aw, take the cake. I
don't want the cake.
457
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,178
She gave me the cake,
and now she takes it away.
458
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,202
Quiet.
459
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,068
Here's a little
something I made myself.
460
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,936
- You made yourself?
- Yes.
461
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:08,769
What is it?
462
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,069
A meatball.
463
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:10,768
A meatball?
464
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,572
Meatball!
465
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,579
[Indistinct speaking]
466
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,621
Walk out like gentlemen.
Walk out like gentlemen.
467
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:30,928
Hello, Mr. Bacciagalupe.
468
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:33,226
Hello, Luigi. Hello, Mr. Abbott.
469
00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:34,527
Meatball!
470
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,431
I'll kill him! I'll kill
him! I'll kill you!
471
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,367
[Indistinct shouting]
472
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,375
Meatball!
473
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,173
Meatball!
474
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,891
That wasn't very
successful, was it?
475
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,460
Bud, are you mad at me?
476
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,586
Certainly not.
Better luck next time.
477
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,494
Well, there's
none of us perfect.
478
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,042
I'm going to treat
you to a nice dinner.
479
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,310
You mean you're
going to buy me dinner?
480
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:09,029
Sure.
481
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,375
How would you like a nice stew?
482
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:11,870
I love stew.
483
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,634
A little fish place down
the street. Come on, kid.
484
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,504
Pal, this is on me,
485
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,078
and the finest seafood
in town right here.
486
00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:20,908
Wait till you taste
this oyster stew.
487
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,744
Here you are,
gentlemen... Oyster stew.
488
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,716
This is good.
489
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,788
I want you to appreciate it.
490
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:31,084
For once in your life,
appreciate something.
491
00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:32,055
All right.
492
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,353
Go ahead.
493
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:54,978
Like it?
494
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,139
I didn't get none yet.
495
00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:58,240
What do you mean? It's
there for you to be had.
496
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:04,053
Enjoying it?
497
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,981
Attaboy.
498
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:10,055
Just be a nice boy, and
everything will be all right.
499
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,632
There's a live oyster in here.
500
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:24,141
Oh, why don't you stop it?
501
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:26,007
I saw a live oyster in here.
502
00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:29,775
Whoever heard of an
oyster in an oyster stew?
503
00:22:31,483 --> 00:22:33,452
Go on. Enjoy it.
504
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,047
Aah!
505
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,222
What are you eeping about?
506
00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:45,157
Eat your stew.
507
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,865
Ohh!
508
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:53,863
Ohh! Pbht!
509
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:00,143
Ohh!
510
00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:04,548
Try and be a gentleman.
511
00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:07,347
You're at a table
in a restaurant.
512
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:10,652
It's my own fault for
taking you out and coming.
513
00:24:22,728 --> 00:24:24,162
[Whistles]
514
00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:06,135
What are you doing?!
515
00:25:06,772 --> 00:25:10,038
Now, that's no way
to eat an oyster stew.
516
00:25:10,142 --> 00:25:11,235
Just look at yourself.
517
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:14,507
You're making a fool of
yourself in front of the public.
518
00:25:15,647 --> 00:25:18,412
It's my own fault
for taking you out.
519
00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:23,514
Well, thank goodness
you had plenty to eat.
520
00:25:23,622 --> 00:25:24,822
- Who had plenty to eat?
- You.
521
00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,501
Did you see me go hunting
for that oyster in there?
522
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,390
What do you mean, hunting?
523
00:25:27,493 --> 00:25:28,870
Abbott, you got to
take me some... I'm...
524
00:25:28,894 --> 00:25:32,160
No, it's a good thing that I had
foresight to get something to eat.
525
00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:32,890
What do you mean?
526
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:35,076
All during the show, I've been
trying to get something to eat,
527
00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,100
and at last I got it.
528
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:37,601
Ohh!
529
00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:38,602
Ohh!
530
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,229
Ohh-ho!
531
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:42,336
I'm hungry!
37402
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