All language subtitles for Abbott_Costello S01E11 The Western Story.DVDRip.NonHI.en.e-One

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,317 Hey, do you realize that Hillary Brooke 2 00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:53,819 is leaving town today? 3 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,565 - Hillary Brooke is leaving? - Didn't you know it? 4 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:56,750 - Town? - Yes. 5 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:59,088 Without saying good-bye to me, her boyfriend? 6 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,558 That I don't know, Lou. 7 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,425 Let's go home. Come on. I got to see her. 8 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:03,529 All right, Lou. 9 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,929 Well, it looks like I got here just in time, Hillary. 10 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,700 Oh, how nice of you to come, Mr. Abbott, but where's Louis? 11 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,751 Well, he stopped off to get you a going-away present. 12 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,937 - Oh, how sweet. - By the way, where are you going? 13 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,070 Oh, I have a ranch down near the Mexican border. 14 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,324 It belonged to my late Uncle Albert. He willed it to me. 15 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,510 - Hillary! - Oh, well... There he is. 16 00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:26,382 - A going-away present for you. - Oh, thank you, Louis. 17 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,531 - Well, ain't you going to open it? - Oh, yes, of course. 18 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:29,853 I'll help you. 19 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,689 Isn't that pretty? With your initials on it. 20 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,196 What is it? 21 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,630 It's a musical garbage can. 22 00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:51,309 Oh, Louis, it was exactly what I've always wanted. 23 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,709 It's amazing how I always pick out the right presents. 24 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,544 How ridiculous. 25 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,982 A musical garbage can... Why? 26 00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,884 You think we'd get a laugh with just a plain garbage can? 27 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,453 Oh, boys, I'm going to miss you two. 28 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:04,923 Where's she going? 29 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,119 - She inherited a ranch. - Oh. 30 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,887 Say, I have a wonderful idea. 31 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,676 Why don't you come down and visit me, or... 32 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:11,892 Or maybe you'd work for me? 33 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,625 Well, we're not doing anything at the present. 34 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:15,855 No, we're not doing a thing. 35 00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:17,063 Oh, you'd love it. 36 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,867 I can see you, Louis, with all those western horses. 37 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,238 I can see you busting your bronco right now. 38 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,274 Why, sure. 39 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,811 And if I don't, the horses will. 40 00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,573 Oh, come on. You'll love it. 41 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,546 And besides, you'll see real Indians. 42 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,878 - Real, live Indians? - Yeah! 43 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,611 Bing! Bang! Bing! Bing! Bing! Bang! 44 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,710 - Put that away. - Real-life... Indians? 45 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,185 Yeah. 46 00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:35,665 What do I want to go down there where the Ind... 47 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,289 I don't want to go where the Indians are. 48 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,825 - Ohh. - I don't like Indians. 49 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,203 Once an Indian shot me with an arrow. 50 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:40,751 Sioux? 51 00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,896 - What she say? - Sioux Indian? 52 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,841 Why should I sue the Indian? I couldn't find a cheap lawyer. 53 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:46,493 No, no, I don't mean sue the Indian. 54 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,069 I'm talking about a whole bunch of Indians. 55 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,138 Sioux's the tribe. 56 00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:53,483 Now the guy wants me to go around and sue a whole tribe of Indians. 57 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,027 Only one Indian shot me with the arrow. 58 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,686 I'm going to have to go 'cause I'll be late. 59 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,510 Well, are you boys coming down to work for me? 60 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:01,241 Well, we'd love to, but I don't think we'd know how to find it. 61 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,250 Oh, well, that's quite simple. I'll write the directions down. 62 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,478 That'll be fine. 63 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,419 You take a plane as far as the Arizona border. 64 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,766 Oh, now we're going to take an airplane. 65 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,790 And from then on, you just follow these directions. 66 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,336 See, we take an airplane to the Arizona border, 67 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,071 and then we follow the directions that Hillary gave. 68 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:15,926 I'll handle that. 69 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,588 Hillary, you going to kiss me good-bye? 70 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,293 Oh, of course, Louis. 71 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,601 Excuse me. 72 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:27,736 Come on. Come on. 73 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,571 Ahhhhh! 74 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,167 Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! 75 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,510 We've got a lot of shopping to do. Otherwise, we'll miss our plane. 76 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:35,479 - Abbott. - What? 77 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,813 Another kiss like that, I won't need a plane. 78 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,046 I'll be able to fly by myself. 79 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,318 Well, so long, partners. I'll see you mañana. 80 00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:45,153 Adios. 81 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,227 - See you in your namamanana. - That's a boy. 82 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,762 I'm going to see her in the manananana. 83 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:52,427 Wait... 84 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,680 - She forgot her garbage can. - How do you like that? 85 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,013 What are we going to do with it? 86 00:03:57,037 --> 00:04:00,269 We'll give it to the landlord, let him use it for an ashtray. 87 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,499 Come on. 88 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:49,322 - Hey, Buddy. - Oh, no. What? 89 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,391 Are you sure you know where you're going? 90 00:04:51,491 --> 00:04:53,084 I'm only going by directions. 91 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:55,128 We must be close to the border by now. I... 92 00:04:56,830 --> 00:05:00,164 Hey, a Mexican. Let's go and talk to him. 93 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,236 Hello, "senor." 94 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,533 That's not... 95 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,370 Señor, I'm Bud Abbott. 96 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,309 This is my partner, Lou Costello. 97 00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:15,546 It's nice to hear a friendly voice, señors. 98 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,982 I'm de Leon. 99 00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:19,985 Not de Leon? 100 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,384 Ponce de Leon? 101 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:26,516 Well, I was Ponce de Leon, but now I'm only de Leon. 102 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,184 What happened? 103 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,000 I lost my "ponce." 104 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:45,268 Señor, could you tell us where the B-Bar-Bop Ranch is? 105 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:06,662 Abbott, I can't go much further. 106 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,394 I'm thirsty. 107 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:10,360 Well, according to these directions, 108 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:14,305 we should be near Rusty Springs by now, anyhow. It's... 109 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,473 Hey, look... Rusty Springs. 110 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,739 Now you can drink! 111 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,873 Water! Water! 112 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:29,179 - Well, go ahead. Take a drink. - There's no water in there. 113 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,849 - What's in there? - Just what it says on the sign. 114 00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,392 Ugh. 115 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:42,266 - A rusty spring. - All right, don't get discouraged. 116 00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:44,031 Come on. We'll make it. 117 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,607 Hey, Lou, come here. 118 00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,879 Hey, there's something behind that rock. 119 00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,147 It must be a bird. 120 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,254 I'm going to take a look. 121 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:02,946 Ah! 122 00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:04,056 Aah! 123 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,361 More than a bird behind there. 124 00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:10,191 It's got a terrible, terrible face. 125 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,562 - Mind if I take a look? - Go ahead. 126 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,694 Here, chicky, chicky, chicky. 127 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:17,566 Ah! 128 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:18,070 Ah! 129 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,264 Ah! 130 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:22,103 Aaaahhh! 131 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:30,916 Come on. 132 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,919 Now, Abbott, you got to stop acting nervous. 133 00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:37,922 What's the matter with you? 134 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:40,721 Well, I can't forget that horrible face I saw back there. 135 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:41,827 - You got the... - Aah! 136 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,172 - What's the matter? - Another one. 137 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,721 - What? - Another one. 138 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:46,032 What? 139 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:46,758 How. 140 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:47,906 This is a friendly Indian. 141 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,712 Can't you tell friendly Indians when you see them? 142 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:50,999 Well, listen, you've learned 143 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,073 all about that Indian sign language on television. 144 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,232 Do your stuff. 145 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:55,832 - Go ahead. - Okay. 146 00:07:56,009 --> 00:08:00,071 I would like to talk to you... You, big chief. 147 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,240 I would like to get to B-Bar-Bop Ranch, 148 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:06,184 far over range, before the snow trickles 149 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,755 and the rain... brrr! Comes down. 150 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,790 I would like to find... 151 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:14,918 See, I'm looking... Find the B-Bar-Bop Ranch, 152 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:19,090 way far away. 153 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,866 What's the matter with this guy? Is he crazy? What's he trying to say? 154 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,905 I'm talking to you in the Indian sign language. 155 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,272 - How. - How about what? 156 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,504 Who are these two dummies, Myron? 157 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,308 Look, we're trying to find out how you get to the B-Bar-Bop Ranch. 158 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:35,854 - To the what? - The B-Bar-Bop Ranch. 159 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,247 - To the what? - The B-Bar-Bop! 160 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,394 - The B-Bar-Bop! - The B-Bar-Bop! 161 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,562 - The B-Bar-Bop! - The B-Bar-Bop! 162 00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,054 - The B-Bar-Bop! - The B-Bar-Bop! 163 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,952 The B-Bar-Bop! The B-Bar-Bop! 164 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,752 The B-Bar-Bop! The B-Bar-Bop! 165 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:45,723 The B-Bar-Bop! 166 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,088 Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! 167 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,821 Indian! 168 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,768 ♪ Ain't nothing wrong with the prairies ♪ 169 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,775 ♪ There ain't nothing wrong with the West ♪ 170 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,643 ♪ Just miles of wide open spaces ♪ 171 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:10,183 ♪ To get your cares off your chest ♪ 172 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:14,412 ♪ There ain't nothing wrong with the prairies ♪ 173 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:18,515 ♪ Out here the living is best ♪ 174 00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,957 ♪ You get the same kind of weather ♪ 175 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:26,327 ♪ But man, you can get your rest ♪ 176 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:29,995 ♪ You ride all day in the saddle ♪ 177 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:34,370 ♪ But time is all you spend ♪ 178 00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:37,943 ♪ You learn one thing in the saddle ♪ 179 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,209 ♪ Once you've made a friend, he's a friend ♪ 180 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:46,218 ♪ There ain't nothing wrong with the prairies ♪ 181 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:50,120 ♪ So here's what I'd like to suggest ♪ 182 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:56,993 ♪ When you feel lonesome and weary ♪ 183 00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:01,396 ♪ Go West, my friend, go West ♪ 184 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,239 Begging your pardon, ma'am. 185 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,240 I ain't hankering to interfere, 186 00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:10,537 but there sure is a strange group of critters there 187 00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:11,838 coming down the road. 188 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,308 That must be the boys. 189 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,986 Welcome to B-Bar-Bop Ranch, Mr. Abbott. 190 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,612 I'm certainly glad to see you. 191 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:25,385 But... But where's Louis? 192 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,228 Louis. 193 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,894 Louis, wake up. 194 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,801 Wake up, Louis. 195 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,801 You're on the range. 196 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:44,969 Mmm. 197 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,979 I figured that. It's awful hot. 198 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,104 How you been, Hillary? 199 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,525 I'm fine, Louis. How have you been? 200 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,178 Good. Boy, did this gawk go through plenty of red lights. 201 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,845 Hmm-mm-mm! Up and down, up and down. 202 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:56,917 Let me off now. 203 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,968 Thanks, chief, for showing us the way to the ranch. 204 00:10:58,992 --> 00:10:59,823 - Unh. - Huh? 205 00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:00,518 Unh. 206 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,118 I guess so. 207 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,940 - Thank you, Hillary. - You're welcome, Louis. 208 00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:09,060 Hey, you forgot something, fatso. That'll be $4.95. 209 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,506 - Here's $5. Keep the change. - Thanks. 210 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,577 - Don't mention it. - I'd be ashamed to. 211 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,237 Come on, Myron. Let's get back to the reservation. 212 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,747 - Hey, how's the Indians doing? - What Indians? 213 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,648 The Cleveland Indians, you dope. 214 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,631 Why don't you boys take your things over to the bunkhouse 215 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,135 and get into some Western clothes, and we'll see you back here? 216 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,250 Thanks, Hillary. 217 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,087 Pick it up. 218 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,593 Okay, Hillary. 219 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,029 Hey, there's a note on that arrow. 220 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,313 - Hey, wait a minute. - Read it. 221 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,361 This... This... 222 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:46,962 What does it say? 223 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,266 - Oh, look what it says. - What? 224 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,742 It says, "I hate to butt in on you two guys, 225 00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,540 but can our announcer have a few words?" 226 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,547 I'll say he can. Come on. 227 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:56,980 That's cute. 228 00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:07,691 Neighbors, we have a very, very important announcement for you. 229 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,195 Children, there's something I'd like to say to you folks. 230 00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:12,527 - Ladies and... - Not from you. 231 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,430 - From our sponsor. - Okay... 232 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,059 - We've heard enough from you. - Okay. 233 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,169 We'll be right back. 234 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,569 - Don't go away. - Don't go away. 235 00:12:30,149 --> 00:12:32,141 Would you watch out with those guns? 236 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,982 They're all loaded. 237 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,798 - I got you, didn't I? - Well, take it easy with that. 238 00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:37,347 Get that boy. 239 00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,823 Look, keep it in there. 240 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:40,655 Bing! 241 00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,090 Go ahead. Break the gun. 242 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,993 - Okay. - It's a beautiful country. 243 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,841 Hey, Abbott, isn't it beautiful country out here? 244 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,026 Wonderful. 245 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,693 Look at all those cows out there. Get that big bunch of cows. 246 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,703 - Not bunch... herd. - Huh? 247 00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:52,863 Cow herd. 248 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,565 - I beg your pardon? - Cow herd. 249 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,006 Cow heard what? 250 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:59,511 - Not herd what... cow herd. - Cow heard what? 251 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,190 I should look at that big bunch of cows out there. 252 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,240 Not bunch... herd! 253 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:04,817 Herd of cows. 254 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,352 Certainly I heard of cows, you dope. 255 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,422 Any fool knows a cow when he sees it. 256 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,333 That's a... That's a good bunch of cows, I said. 257 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,087 It's a herd of cows. 258 00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:14,192 Yeah, I heard of cows. 259 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,092 That's what they are. 260 00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:17,195 A bunch of cows? 261 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,765 Sure, a bunch is a herd. 262 00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,509 - A bunch is a herd? - Certainly. What's the matter? 263 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,144 Like bananas. Look at that bananas of cows out there. 264 00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,330 - Not bananas! Not... - Hey, I'm a little thirsty. 265 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,315 What do you say we go over there and milk one of those cows? 266 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,240 Aw, what do you know about milking cows? 267 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,365 You're an Easterner. 268 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,070 I know plenty about milking cows. Come on. 269 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,142 Hey, Abbott. Huh? 270 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,730 Isn't this a little small for a camel? 271 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,253 Camel? That's a cow. 272 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,049 A cow? 273 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,817 - Did you ever milk a cow? - Oh, no. 274 00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,824 Well, you're going to make a fine ranch hand. 275 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,917 - You take that pail and that stool. - Yeah? 276 00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:49,067 That's how you milk a cow. 277 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,762 - You get the milk with the pail? - Sure. 278 00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,094 Give me some milk. No, no, no, no! 279 00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:54,199 - In the back. - Huh? 280 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,360 - You milk a cow from the back. - Oh. 281 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:57,368 What are you doing? 282 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:58,847 I'm going to get on the back and milk the cow. 283 00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:02,035 You don't do that. You take the pail and put it under the cow's udder. 284 00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,165 Okay. 285 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,103 Go ahead. 286 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:06,008 Take the what? 287 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,671 You place this under the cow's udder. 288 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:08,610 Cow's other what? 289 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,275 Not udder what... Under the cow's udder. 290 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,027 Well, you got to put it under the cow's other something. 291 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,247 No, you just put it under the cow's udder. 292 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,497 That's what I'm asking you, Bud. 293 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,956 I says I take that pail, and I put it where to get the milk? 294 00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,526 The cow's udder is the source. 295 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:22,219 I want milk. I don't want sauce. 296 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:24,024 If I want sauce, I get it from apples. 297 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,792 Who's talking bout that kind... 298 00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:27,498 - Look... - You talking about applesauce? 299 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,660 - No, now... - I want milk. 300 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,768 - Where do I put the pail? - Under the cow's udder. 301 00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,272 So, I take the pail and put it under the cow's other what? 302 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,308 Look, all cows have udders. 303 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,899 In other words, they have tanks. 304 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:38,009 - What? - Tanks. 305 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:38,807 You're welcome. 306 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,322 Now, where do I put the pail to get the milk? 307 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,577 - Under the cow's udder! - The cow's other what? 308 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,277 Not udder what! Give me the pail! 309 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,614 Place it under here. 310 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,483 Now go and get the milk. I'll be right back. 311 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,159 Hey, Abbott, that looks like a five-tube set. 312 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,709 Come on. 313 00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:18,048 I'll wind it. 314 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,458 Well, give me some milk, will you? 315 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,960 Take it easy. Whoa, take it easy now. Whoa. 316 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,691 Take it easy. Don't kick. 317 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:39,231 Abbott, I'm all set. 318 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:44,671 Cut it out. Cut it out. 319 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,777 Now, cut it out, will you? 320 00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:57,717 You want to play, huh? 321 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:04,963 This will do it now. 322 00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,396 As soon as I get this thing... 323 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,235 Now, that ought to hold you. 324 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,876 Laying down on the job again. 325 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,445 What happened to you? 326 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:20,545 - Abbott. - What? 327 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,980 The cow hit me with her tail. 328 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,777 Blaming it on the cow, eh? 329 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:24,907 Come here. Come on. 330 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,383 Miss Brooke wants us. Come on. 331 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,046 - Nice, nice. - Never mind. Leave the cow alone. 332 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,748 Oh, well, that's better, boys. You look a lot more comfortable. 333 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,451 There's nothing like the good old West. 334 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,671 What are you talking about, Bud? I was born in the West. 335 00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,139 - You were born in the West? - Of course. 336 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,155 - Ah, get out. - West Paterson, New Jersey. 337 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,797 Did you get the English I had on that shot? 338 00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:47,999 What a marksman! Watch out with that gun of yours. 339 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,735 Miss Brooke, who are these two hombres? 340 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,320 Why, these are friends of mine, Sheriff. 341 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,064 That's Bud Abbott, and this is Lou Costello. 342 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:54,169 - Howdy, Sheriff. - Howdy. 343 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,058 For a minute, I thought they might be cattle thieves. 344 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,278 I've been chasing them cattle thieves all morning, 345 00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:02,014 15 miles across the Gulf, 7 miles over the mountains, 346 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,556 and 21 miles back here to the creek. 347 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,750 But they got away. 348 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,836 Well, maybe their horses were faster than your horse. 349 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,796 Oh, am I supposed to have a horse? 350 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,695 Miss Brooke, them doggone cattle thieves 351 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,630 done stole 50 head of our best Longhorn. 352 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,965 Well, confound them ornery coyotes. 353 00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,664 Well, what do you know about those peoples, Bud Abbott? 354 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,264 Well, mom, what would you like to have us do? 355 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,536 I feel very Western. 356 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:24,338 Wait a minute. 357 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,154 They've been robbing you, too, eh? That settles it. 358 00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:29,080 I'm going after them thieves as soon as I can find me a posse. 359 00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,326 Well, wait a minute. I'll volunteer to go after those thieves. 360 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:31,874 Good. 361 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,161 Louis, aren't you going to volunteer? 362 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:36,553 I should say... certainly I'm going. 363 00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,800 - Come on, let's get going. - Okay, we're off! To the corral! 364 00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:41,157 Good-bye, Hillary! Good-bye... You're not Hillary. 365 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:44,025 Good-bye, my darling! I love you! 366 00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:46,975 What do you want to try to do, 367 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,343 make something out of it or something, kid? 368 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,427 Come on. Stick 'em up and don't... Eep! 369 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:51,868 See you later. 370 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,126 I want to thank you boys for riding with me as my deputies. 371 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:58,177 The headquarters are at the Red Dog Saloon. 372 00:17:58,277 --> 00:17:58,744 Let's go! 373 00:17:58,844 --> 00:17:59,607 - Let's go! - Come on! 374 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,647 Giddap, hah! Come on! 375 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,148 Giddap, hah! Giddap! 376 00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,856 Whoo! 377 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,405 - Get off. Get ahold of the horn. - Huh? 378 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,590 Get ahold of the horn. 379 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,497 - Get ahold of the what? - The horn, the horn. 380 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,659 Here, that's a horn. 381 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,945 - The horse has got a horn? - That's the horn right there. 382 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,301 - This is the horn? - Yes. 383 00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:27,840 - Oo! Oo! Oo! Oo! Oo! - Come on. Come on. 384 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,203 I'm going to be a cowboy. 385 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,519 - Come on. Get off there. - Okay. 386 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,307 - Come on. Get off. - Help me down. 387 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:33,470 Come on. 388 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,877 - Get into it. - Ohh. 389 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,041 - There you are. - Oh, thanks a lot, Bud. 390 00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:38,149 Come on. 391 00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,227 Come on. I got to tie you up. 392 00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:40,896 - What are you talk... - Oh, you're not the horse! 393 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,752 What's the matter with you? Are you crazy? 394 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,153 Wait a minute. 395 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,181 Take it easy now. 396 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,192 Boys, this is the place. 397 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,198 Now, the leader of the mob is Black Bart. 398 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,767 He's the one we got to get. 399 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,462 Let me ask you something, Sheriff. Is Black Bart tough? 400 00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,266 - Oh, you bet he is. - Plenty tough. 401 00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:01,068 - Real tough? - He's a killer, boy. 402 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,802 - Does he know that I'm after him? - No. 403 00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:04,968 - He don't know that? - No. 404 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,306 - Are you sure? - Positive. 405 00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,856 Well, there's no use in starting trouble. 406 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,057 - Now, wait a minute. - I'm going home. 407 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,225 - What for? - I forgot something. 408 00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:11,660 - What did you forget? - I forgot to stay there. 409 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,743 Never mind that. 410 00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,321 Go on in there. We'll follow you. 411 00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:16,514 Now, wait a minute, Abbott. 412 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,000 You always give me that kind of dialogue. 413 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,735 You always want me to go in first in these kind of things, 414 00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:20,488 and you stay outside. 415 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,903 I'm through with that kind of stuff! 416 00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:23,623 - Oh, you don't want to go in first? - No. 417 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,841 All right, then we'll follow you, and you go in first. 418 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,891 - That's much better. - Go ahead. 419 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,142 All right, fellas, I'll handle this. 420 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,952 Which one of you guys is Black Bart? 421 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,284 He's in the office. 422 00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:52,220 Get him out here. 423 00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,837 Did I hear someone mention my name? 424 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,471 I'm Black Bart. 425 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,841 Get your hand off that gun if you know what's good for you. 426 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:23,548 So, you're Black Bart. 427 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,355 Watch this, Abbott. 428 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:30,896 I got something I want to say to you. 429 00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,465 Sheriff, I'm... 430 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,566 Sheriff? 431 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,835 Hey, Sheriff? 432 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,700 Hey-ey? 433 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,466 Hey, Abbott! 434 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,533 Eh? 435 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,444 What do you want to say to me? 436 00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:51,879 This is a nice place you got. Would you like a partner? 437 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,754 Come on. Come on. 438 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,498 - What's the matter? - Come this way. 439 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,295 Fellas, I'll cover the rear, huh? 440 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,096 Come on. 441 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,532 Yeah? 442 00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,508 Hey, Bart, you better be careful. 443 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,080 I think them two hombres are the United States Marshals 444 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,115 that the Sheriff sent for last week. 445 00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:25,650 They don't look like Marshals to me. 446 00:21:25,751 --> 00:21:28,050 Well, they're too smart to look like Marshals. 447 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:30,589 They're wearing disguises. 448 00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:33,284 Maybe I'd better buy them a drink. 449 00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:37,254 Don't let him think we're scared of him, 450 00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,763 or we'll be in a terrible fix. 451 00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:41,595 Yeah, we got to act natural, nonchalant. 452 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,931 Think I'll buy a drink. 453 00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:47,130 If you don't mind, Sheriff, I'll buy that drink. 454 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:49,731 Set them up for the crowd. 455 00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:51,743 What'll you have? 456 00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:53,846 Straight whiskey. 457 00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,005 What'll you have? 458 00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,605 Straight whiskey. 459 00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:58,614 What'll you have? 460 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:01,317 I'll have a Panther Punch. 461 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,013 - Panther Punch? - Yeah. 462 00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:03,748 What's that? 463 00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:05,518 That's half root beer, half ginger ale, 464 00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:07,752 with a wildcat's eyeball floating in it. 465 00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:10,954 You want a wildcat's eyeball floating in your drink? 466 00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:12,428 Yeah, Mr. Black Bart, 467 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:14,329 because when I say, "Here's looking at you," 468 00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:17,335 I like to have something looking right back at me. 469 00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:25,844 Black Bart, me and my two deputies here are taking you in. 470 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,742 I wouldn't advise that, Sheriff. 471 00:22:29,215 --> 00:22:31,514 I got my men planted all around the room, 472 00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:33,142 and they're all dead shots. 473 00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:33,979 Oh, yeah? 474 00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:38,046 Well, I figure my two boys here can outdraw your men. 475 00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:41,093 Ah. You're quick on the draw, eh? 476 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,684 Eh. 477 00:22:42,795 --> 00:22:44,195 What to see something? 478 00:22:46,398 --> 00:22:47,923 Want to see... 479 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:52,000 That's the third time today you've done that. 480 00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:53,402 - Cut it out. - I made it. 481 00:22:53,572 --> 00:22:55,768 Pretty fancy shooting, Black Bart. 482 00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:57,936 You think that's good? 483 00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,774 You want to see something real nice? Watch this. 484 00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:11,154 I never saw such shooting as that in all my born days. 485 00:23:11,323 --> 00:23:12,757 Nice work. Keep it up. 486 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,827 He got both of them with one bullet. 487 00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,259 Think that's good shooting? 488 00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:19,924 This is what I call my blinder. That's the one that really gets you. 489 00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:22,932 Cowboys and Indians, that's right. 490 00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:33,007 Grr-rr! Grr-rr-rr! Grr-rr-rr-rr-rr! 491 00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:39,643 - Hey, Abbott? - What? 492 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:41,229 I think that guy over there is a bandit. 493 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,213 - How do you know? - He's got a price on his head. 494 00:23:47,293 --> 00:23:50,559 Come on, boys. We got to go and get Black Bart. 495 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:51,494 Yes, I think so. 496 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,123 And Costello, if you don't get that man, 497 00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:56,600 you're not the man we think you are. 498 00:23:56,702 --> 00:23:59,103 I got news for you... I'm not the man you think I am. 499 00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:01,036 That's what I thought. 500 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,473 Scared, eh? Yellow. 501 00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:05,771 I'm not afraid of that Black Bart. 502 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:08,575 I'm not afraid of bullets. I'm not afraid of knives. 503 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,344 - He's brave. He's brave. - I'll show you how brave I am. 504 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:12,577 I'm as brave as you. 505 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,984 That's all I wanted to know. Go ahead. 506 00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:16,953 - Wait a minute. Don't push. - Go ahead. 507 00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:19,048 He's brave for a couple of seconds, that's all. 508 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,222 - Go ahead. - Don't push. 509 00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,325 Shoot, Costello, shoot! 510 00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:27,195 Bang! Bang! 511 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,200 With the gun, you idiot! 512 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,496 - Bang! Bang! - Shoot! 513 00:24:45,284 --> 00:24:46,047 Hey! 514 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,517 - Hey! - Hey! 515 00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:49,178 Hooray! 516 00:24:49,288 --> 00:24:50,288 Hooray! 517 00:24:52,591 --> 00:24:54,389 I see you've caught Black Bart, Sheriff. 518 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:57,019 Not me, Miss Brooke. It was the little fella, your friend. 519 00:24:57,129 --> 00:24:59,928 He captured him single-handed. 520 00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:02,396 Hey! 521 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,402 Hooray! 522 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,165 Hooray! 523 00:25:13,979 --> 00:25:16,073 Louis, Louis, where are you? What happened? 524 00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:17,672 Where'd you go? 525 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,653 My hero! 526 00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:25,146 Well, I'm off for the border. See you later. 527 00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:30,193 I'm a cowboy! 528 00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:31,593 You big jerk, get off! 529 00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:32,697 - Come on! - Get off! 530 00:25:32,765 --> 00:25:33,664 - Come on! - Get off there! 531 00:25:33,766 --> 00:25:36,235 Oh, play horsey, will ya? 532 00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:39,533 Come on! Play horsey! 533 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:55,317 Well, Costello, today you sure proved yourself a hero. 534 00:25:55,421 --> 00:25:56,855 - I think so. - I know so. 535 00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:58,533 - Well, I got to see you later, Abbott. - Why? 536 00:25:58,557 --> 00:25:59,923 - I got to hang up my horse. - Ah. 537 00:26:00,025 --> 00:26:01,425 Hang up your horse? 538 00:26:01,527 --> 00:26:03,304 Of course I got to hang him up. He's a mustang. 539 00:26:03,328 --> 00:26:06,059 - I "must hang" him up someplace. - I... 540 00:26:06,432 --> 00:26:08,298 - So long. - So long, folks. 39383

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