All language subtitles for [English] 《十萬個冷笑話 》第1季03 - 哪吒篇 Nezha 02丨U17 [DownSub.com]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,460 Master, Master 2 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,680 Report, there is a Taoist priest who wants to see you 3 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,320 Let him in 4 00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:36,940 Aiyo, pretty good (Jay Chou's pet phrase) 5 00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:39,380 I heard people say you are good at training soliders 6 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,200 you deserve the reputations 7 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,380 I'm flattered 8 00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:44,160 come inside so we can talk 9 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,480 So where exactly are you from? 10 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,900 Well 11 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,280 This is my business card, please take it 12 00:00:58,020 --> 00:01:00,260 Qian Yuan Mountain, Jin Guang Cave 13 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,520 Tai Er (Tai Er means Idiot in Chinese) Zhen Ren 14 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,980 Bull shit, it's Yi, why would you read it in numbers 15 00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,580 We are now in Shang Dynasty, please show some respect to our history background OK? 16 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:11,580 Is business card supposed to be here? 17 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,720 Excuse me 18 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,920 I'm Tai Yi Zhen Ren 19 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,400 My main goal is to congratulate you for having a baby 20 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,900 I'd like to have a look on your son 21 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,320 What do you say 22 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:25,060 Well, thanks, I will call him out 23 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:27,440 -Wang Er -Yes, master 24 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,800 Daddy, what is up 25 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,000 Your son is so adorable 26 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,420 Thanks 27 00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,660 My son, come here to see Zhen Ren 28 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:39,440 Li Jing doesn't know that his son is my apprentice's reincarnation 29 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,040 He can't find a job after graduation 30 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:46,800 I did this so he can become a God in the future 31 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,940 Pleasure to meet you 32 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,900 Who the hell is this 33 00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:56,060 Ai Aiyo, pretty...pretty good 34 00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:57,740 you don't have to be like that 35 00:01:58,340 --> 00:02:00,340 Are you talking about me? 36 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,280 I wouldn't be happy if you praise me 37 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:04,980 Watch out! 38 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:07,260 A powerful slap, you are my good apprentice indeed 39 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,080 but I'm protected by my inner strength 40 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,880 it can't hurt me a little... 41 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,600 are you OK? 42 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,940 all good 43 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,280 is he really my apprentice? 44 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:26,880 What was that slap? 45 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,560 What happened to you? 46 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,340 What was wrong? 47 00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:34,580 I did this for sure 48 00:02:35,260 --> 00:02:38,700 Don't know what is going on but now he must be my apprentice again 49 00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:41,180 This kid is very talented 50 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,680 I will teach him everything I know 51 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,040 What do you say 52 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,960 Very good 53 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,920 But he doesn't have a name yet 54 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,500 Can you give him a name? 55 00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:55,460 Giving name? This is so difficult for me 56 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:56,960 What name is good 57 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,260 I have an idea 58 00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:00,940 His first son called Jin Zha, second son called Mu Zha 59 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:03,420 I name his third son as Lee Gou Dan, yeah? 60 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,160 Oh, Ne Zha, what an excellent name 61 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,640 No, not Ne Zha, it's Lee Gou Dan 62 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,500 Much appreciated 63 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,640 Ne Zha, say thank you 64 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,900 Thanks a lot, master 65 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,620 it is a very beautiful name 66 00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:28,900 Master is gone 67 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,780 I have to leave, see you guys next time 68 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:36,020 Wow, what a profound Taoist 69 00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,900 That was so close! 70 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,200 I would be dead if I didn't get away 71 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,720 since then 72 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:48,180 7 years past 73 00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:52,580 Prince, Prince, please stop 74 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,560 You stop, I just come out for fun 75 00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:59,820 The emperor is looking for you, please go back immediately 76 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,100 I will go back later 77 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:04,100 Go tell him 78 00:04:04,180 --> 00:04:06,180 Please show 79 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,520 It feels sooo good 80 00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:11,260 Hey, don't make any voice 81 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,440 Pretty girl right there 82 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,160 I have to talk to her 83 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,960 Hi, doll 84 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,000 I think you are so gorgeous 85 00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:21,339 Do you want to have some fun with me? 5344

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