All language subtitles for [English] 《十萬個冷笑話 》第1季01 - 哪吒篇 Nezha 01丨U17 [DownSub.com]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,120 A Hundred Thousand Bad Jokes Manhua Author: Han Wu (lit. Cold Dance) 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,680 1012 Ne Zha Chapter (1) 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,600 Sponsored by u17(can be read as "have demonic essence in Mandarin) 4 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:18,760 Master, Master 5 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:19,700 Master, Mistress has given birth! 6 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,840 Oh? 7 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,160 Wife! 8 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,520 Ah, my husband. 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,280 My wife, you've been pregnant for three years, finally you've given birth. 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:30,780 You've done well, my wife. 11 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,960 Did you give birth to a boy-ball or a girl-ball? (boy-ball = baby boy and vice versa)? 12 00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:40,060 WHY DID YOU GIVE BIRTH TO A BALL!? 13 00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:41,940 My husband, have mercy on the ball! 14 00:00:41,940 --> 00:00:43,000 Don't stop me, wife 15 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,600 To think that you having been pregnant for three years and six months 16 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,080 but giving birth to such a monster 17 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,520 must be the act of a demon! 18 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,520 Husband, this is not our child, 19 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,140 Actually, 20 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,360 this ball is made from three years of nose-picking 21 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,500 I've been hiding this from you, I'm really sorry! 22 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,960 My love, how senseless can you be? 23 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,780 Then, where's our child? 24 00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:01,920 Daddy 25 00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,260 Your child is here! 26 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,240 TASTE MY SWORD, DEMON!! 27 00:01:15,260 --> 00:01:17,260 Daddy, your child is not a daemon! 28 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:18,660 Why are you killing your child at first sight? 29 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,960 SHUT UP, I DON'T HAVE A CHILD WHO CAN CATCH A SWORD WITH BARE HANDS RIGHT AFTER BEING BORN! 30 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,160 Daddy, forgive me for my insolence, 31 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,920 catching swords with my bare hands aren't my ability, 32 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,520 but it is part of your character which is 33 00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,580 your sword strikes will always get caught barehanded! 34 00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:29,540 Your sword strikes will always get caught barehanded! (in red) 35 00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:32,380 Nonsense! Even so, 36 00:01:32,380 --> 00:01:34,160 I with the surname of Li with his handsome looks and his wife with her beauty 37 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,520 can't possibly give birth to a barbarian like you! 38 00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:37,540 I see, Daddy doesn't like my appearance, 39 00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:38,180 that can be easily solved! 40 00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:40,080 Even though I think that my current appearance is perfect, 41 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:40,860 (in various ways) 42 00:01:40,860 --> 00:01:42,180 since Daddy doesn't like it, fine. 43 00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:42,980 Actually the moment I'm born, 44 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,660 you have the chance to redo character design. 45 00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:45,160 (XD) 46 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,760 I see, that's great then 47 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:47,380 like hell it is! 48 00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:49,140 Which knockoff game do you come from!? 49 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:49,860 What does (XD) even mean!? 50 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,140 Don't add stuff to your own character by yourself!! 51 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,680 Please choose the character appearance that you like. 52 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,600 What is this pet rearing game, there are even character portraits? 53 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,000 All of them are even girls. 54 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,300 I've never seen such a Schwarzenegger girl. 55 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,300 I choose this, it fits my taste. 56 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,080 Please choose the clothing that you like. 57 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,860 These clothes, oh they're bad, 58 00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:08,660 but I like them! 59 00:02:09,539 --> 00:02:11,540 Customisation complete, character processing. 60 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:13,680 That's fast, what about her physique, is that option not needed? 61 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:22,700 Daddy, this new appearance feels so refreshing~ 62 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,560 Refreshing your ass!! 63 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:30,860 Wang Er, you dare stop me, are you rebelling against me? 64 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,320 You accuse me wrongly, Master! I was just passing by, 65 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,880 when my body suddenly lost control for no reason at all, 66 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,100 it caught this sword barehanded by itself! 67 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,980 Fine, fine. 68 00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:40,220 Even though it's come to this I can't proof you're my felsh and blood, 69 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,340 I'll just pretend that I gave birth to a stronger girl. 70 00:02:42,340 --> 00:02:44,220 Daddy you're killing me here, 71 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,820 Even though I look cute, 72 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,280 but I'm a total 73 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,400 b 74 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:00,900 o 75 00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:01,520 y 76 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:02,020 yo 77 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,080 Master, master! 78 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,360 I forgot my lines! 79 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,340 Forgot your ass! 80 00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:17,580 Master, master! 81 00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:21,220 U17's Ten Thousand Bad Jokes has a new chapter published! 82 00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:22,600 Ohohohoho 83 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,120 That's great, I love reading Ten Thousand Bad Jokes 84 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,080 Did you use my computer without permission again!? 85 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,500 Master, Ten Thousand Bad Jokes is too interesting, 86 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,060 I couldn't resist using your computer! 87 00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:33,960 Master, master! 88 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:35,440 U17's Ten Thousand Bad Jokes 89 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,820 all hail the queen 90 00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:37,680 Chun-bro's saga 91 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,600 Baby Wasp 92 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,380 Rakshasha Street 93 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:39,880 Legend of the Woman Nation 94 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,600 Duan Nao XingStar Tears of the Angel 95 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,800 Jackson is a Jun 96 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:44,480 Tiger X Stork 97 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,040 The Hungry Sorceror Daydream Maid 98 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,320 Black Pupils Backflowing River Awesome Squad 99 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,620 God's stomach The World that Collapses Gradually 100 00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,640 True Moon's Forest and Fungus Girl's Battle 101 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,140 (all of these works on the u17 website) 102 00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:57,420 they've all been updated 103 00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:58,760 Ohohoho, that's great 104 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,220 I love reading u17 works 105 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,560 did you use my computer without permission again!? 106 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,680 You accuse me wrongly master I used your iPad! 7335

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