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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,600 -[tapping] -[intro music] 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,440 Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all about knowing fuck all about 'owt, 3 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,440 needs to watch their back. [cries out] 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,560 So, you've had your Labour, reclassifying skunk, 5 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,320 sending prices sky high, 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,400 literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots. 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,040 And now you've got your con-dem-nation, 8 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,440 Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up. 9 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,280 Have we had a national fucking stroke or what? 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,400 Is revolution a word or was it never? 11 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,680 Anybody watching, needs to know 12 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,120 we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth. 13 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,440 Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester 14 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,200 and they charge us for water! 15 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:53,000 I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found, 16 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,720 this green and pleasant land in ancient times... 17 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,320 Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak! 18 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,600 It's not theirs anymore. 19 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,200 -This is our England now. -[cheering] 20 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,520 Party! 21 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,600 [intro music] 22 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,960 [intro music fades] 23 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,360 [Kelly] I used to go out with this lad in me teens. 24 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,360 A real pin up: blonde, blue eyed. Face of an angel. 25 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,360 If his timing had been better 26 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,640 and his voice didn't sound like a hot water bottle being trod on, 27 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,680 he could've been a contender, given Gary and Robbie a run for the money. 28 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,480 Certainly had the looks. The moves. He was charm personified. 29 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,880 Everyone loved him. Everyone. 30 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,200 But not half as much as me. 31 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:40,360 He was everything I'd never had before. Or since, come to think of it. 32 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,480 Attentive. Considerate. 33 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,840 Generous. Kind. 34 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,200 Until the night when he didn't take no as no. 35 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,720 No! 36 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,800 When I finally plucked up the courage to tell, 37 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,480 no one believed me. 38 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,240 "He wouldn't do something like that." But he did. 39 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,960 And it taught me a really valuable lesson. 40 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,840 Sometimes, devils come dressed as angels. 41 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,320 And angels come dressed as devils. 42 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,720 Only problem is... 43 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:14,040 Sometimes you only find out which is which when it's too fuckin' late. 44 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,880 ["Lust For Life" by Iggy Pop plays] 45 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:19,960 [cop grunts] 46 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,000 ["Lust For Life" continues] 47 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,520 ♪ 'Cause of a lust for life ♪ 48 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:43,560 ♪ Lust for life... ♪ 49 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:44,600 [Micky laughs] 50 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,840 ♪ I got a lust for life ♪ 51 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,080 ♪ I got a lust for life ♪ 52 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,720 ♪ I got a lust for life ♪ 53 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,000 ♪ Lust for life ♪ 54 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,840 ♪ I got a lust for life ♪ 55 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,160 ♪ Lust for life ♪ 56 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,040 ♪ I got a lust for life... ♪ 57 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,280 ♪ Lust for life... ♪ 58 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,160 [group singing] ♪ Raise your voice ♪ 59 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:12,400 ♪ When Jesus comes around ♪ 60 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:20,160 ♪ All that's bad goes to ground... ♪ 61 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,760 Where there is darkness, I shall bring the light. 62 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,520 And where there is hatred, I shall bring... 63 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,160 love, love, love! 64 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,080 -♪ Salvation... ♪ -[Frank burps] 65 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,480 All I fuckin' need, a McCartney to play against my Lennon. 66 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:46,600 ♪ You have the choice ♪ 67 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,240 -[man] Hallelujah! -[woman] Hallelujah! 68 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,000 [Frank] You see, one mention of religion and it's got us all arguing, 69 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,560 while those cracked twats are peddling their shite, 70 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,600 lining their pockets 71 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,320 and frightening the lives out of the vulnerable and lonely! 72 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,440 Oh, fucking hell. 73 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,240 [Jesus] We're a non-profit-making organisation, actually. 74 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,760 -Oh, El Ron Hubbard. -You'll have to forgive him, father. 75 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,280 Keep telling you, Mimi. I'm not a priest. 76 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,880 Just one soul wanting to spread a little happiness to another. 77 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:22,280 -Would you be willing to put one up? -Anything we can do to help. 78 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,120 That's good to hear. Bless you, one and all. 79 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,000 [Mimi laughs delightedly] 80 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,520 What is it you lot are on, Ritalin? 81 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,520 What? 82 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:42,320 [Micky] 'Scuse! 83 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:48,400 -We haven't met. -Jesus. Jesus O' Toole. 84 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,280 Religious family? Yeah, I was called Bernadette. 85 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:54,080 Until I came out and they realised I weren't a girl. 86 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,960 I changed it by deed poll. In honour of the boss. 87 00:04:58,720 --> 00:04:59,800 Oh! 88 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,440 We had a lad called Moses in our class when I was a kid. 89 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,720 But he got knocked over by a fork lift truck on work experience. 90 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,120 Got another poster? It's just for college... 91 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,520 There's a few lost lambs there, I can tell ya. 92 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,520 -Your name's Mike..? -Er... Mikey- 93 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,040 -Mick... Micky. -Angel. 94 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,080 -Stop it. -Michael was one of the Archangels. 95 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,920 God's hard man. Fighter. Coming? 96 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,200 [rapid heartbeat] 97 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,200 To the prayer meeting? 98 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,360 Yeah. Okay. 99 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,000 [heartbeat fades] 100 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,600 Tell your big brother next time he wants something, not to send you. 101 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,840 -He needs to come in himself. -Will do. 102 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,520 Call it twenty. Be getting me arrested. 103 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,560 [laughs] 104 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,560 [camera clicks] 105 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,640 [Grace] See you in court then! 106 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,040 [Jesus' Squad practicing scales] 107 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,360 -Can't you do something about that? -Oh, back off, miserable arse. 108 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,240 -Can't bar them for enjoying themselves. -I didn't mean bar them. 109 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,720 I just meant burn them at the stake, that'd shut the fuckers up. 110 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,160 Free country, Frank. 111 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,680 Only if you're a Christian Fundamentalist, apparently. 112 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,680 Or some other vocal minority. Like your fucking lot. 113 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,640 -What d'you mean by that? -[Frank] Oh, you see? 114 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,560 someone dares criticise, have an opinion, you're up in arms! 115 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,760 -Dad, shut the fuck up. -No, you can't have a balanced discussion, 116 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,360 can't dare to disagree. Oh, sorry. 117 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,080 But the vast majority of folk in the free world 118 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,920 don't share your point of view vis-à-vis your God 119 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:12,120 and the way his representatives on earth are conducting themselves. 120 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,600 You're welcome to your opinion. 121 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,480 -Cheers. -I just don't wanna hear it. 122 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,160 And don't we know it. Someone dares speak out of turn 123 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:22,280 you're down on 'em like a ton of bricks. Literally in some parts of the world. 124 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,400 -That's bang out of order. -No, Karen. Blowing yourself up 125 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,880 and taking folk with you who don't wanna go is bang out of order. 126 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,640 -You need to watch what you're saying. -Or what? You'll get a Fatwa on me, yeah? 127 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,760 -Frank gets a Fatwa? -[imitates missile] 128 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,120 -[Carl] Whoa! -[everyone clamouring] 129 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,480 I'm not saying one religion is any better than the other, 130 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,080 they're all shite. 131 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,120 Get off! 132 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,160 It's just a way of administering control 133 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,240 pulling strings. God's just a bogeyman! 134 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,960 -That is so offensive. -Well, I'd rate buggering choirboys 135 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,040 and abusing kids in care more offensive, Mimi, 136 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,040 but hey, y'know, one man's Sistine Chapel ceiling 137 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,360 -is another man's floor. -All Catholics bugger choirboys, do they? 138 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,280 -Yeah. -[Micky laughs] 139 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,320 Can't say I have. Shane? 140 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,320 [the Squad chanting] Go home to your wives! 141 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:25,000 Go home to your wives! 142 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,720 [Lillian] I've been here ages, say I'm the Devil Incarnate. 143 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,559 -I'd be insulted if I knew what it meant. -What's this? What you playing at? 144 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,760 -Just trying to raise awareness. -Not outside my place of work. 145 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:36,799 You're a whore? 146 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:40,159 Er, a little Old Testament for my tastes, but yep. 147 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,240 I thought you get everyone happy-clappy, not interfere with how I earn my living. 148 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,720 -Or give an opinion on it. -Let's pray, Kelly. 149 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,320 Join me. 150 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,840 Be forgiven. 151 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,520 I'll be on me knees as soon as I clock on for work 152 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,600 and you'll be flat on your back if you don't call your bitches off. 153 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,800 I don't want or need your forgiveness. 154 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,360 It's the Almighty you're asking to forgive. 155 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:06,120 And be honest, you could do with a little guidance in your life. 156 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,280 [scoffs] 157 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,960 Tonya could've done with some too. 158 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,120 With light in her life, she could've avoided a lot of heartache. 159 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,280 -How the fuck do you-- -Move! 160 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,880 -[woman] Watch out! -[laughter] 161 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,600 [Trixie] There's plenty more where that came from too! 162 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:32,920 -[engine revving] -I'm here to help, Kelly. Let me. 163 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,680 -What's going on? -How'd you know about our Tonya? 164 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,480 -How'd you know about me sister? -What's happening? 165 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,440 -Let the love in, Kelly. -Fuck d'you know me name? 166 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,720 All right, pal, what are you up to? 167 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,840 Spreading the word. 168 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,520 Yeah? Well, fucking spread it somewhere else. 169 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,760 Jesus loves you, Shane. 170 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,160 -[grunts in pain] -[indistinct shouting] 171 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,640 I'm praying for you. 172 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,840 [Jesus cries out] 173 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,720 He knows your name. He knows our names! 174 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,000 [Jesus grunts] 175 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:24,000 ♪ Someone's praying Lord, kumbaya ♪ 176 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,800 ♪ Oh, Lord, kumbaya... ♪ 177 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,000 He knew things about me. Me family. 178 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,120 Been here a week, could've asked someone your name. 179 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,680 Every now and then, you do come across a Holy man 180 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,640 -who has a direct link to him upstairs. -He's got those eyes, though, hasn't he? 181 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,880 They look right into ya. Know your every thought. 182 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,080 -[Mimi] See right into our souls. -[Frank] Trickery, Kelly. 183 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,560 It's smoke and mirrors, like all religions. 184 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,840 Except yours, obviously. 185 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:57,560 Fear of an all seeing, all knowing, unforgiving deity that doesn't even exist. 186 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,240 Except yours, as previously mentioned. 187 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:04,000 Hang on, got to admit it's been a bit nicer since they arrived. 188 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,360 Let me give you a hand, Lillian. 189 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,720 Kids off the streets, all on the bus, 190 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,480 socialising instead of making nuisances of themselves. 191 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,800 [WPC] Stop! 192 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,880 [all chanting] Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! 193 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,680 -Jesus is doing no harm. -You dropped your purse. 194 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:25,960 Oh, thank you. 195 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,360 [cheering] Well done! 196 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,440 Apart from picketing my business 197 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,680 and threatening to expose my clientele, you mean? 198 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,640 They're here to save a few souls. Let 'em fill their boots and move on. 199 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,440 [Chesney] I mean, how much harm are a gang of Bible bashers gonna do us? 200 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,880 -[laughter] -[indistinct chatter] 201 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:55,120 [muffled screaming] 202 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,760 [Kelly grunts, squeals] 203 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,200 You touch me and you're dead. I'm a Maguire! 204 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,480 [grunting] Just stop! 205 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:13,400 When they find out what you did to one of their own... 206 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,600 [man] At least I got the right one. [grunts] 207 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,600 [panting] 208 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,600 -Marty? -[groans] 209 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,280 -Me nuts... -[laughing] 210 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,680 We were in Spain. Paradise. [chuckles] 211 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,280 Happiest ever. 212 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:39,760 We had each other. The kids. 213 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,680 So, what happened? 214 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,800 Couldn't give her what she wanted. I tried. 215 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,560 Had this job in Fuengirola, 216 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,920 it meant we were just scraping by, but we were together. 217 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,840 Anyway before long... [supresses a tic] 218 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,040 she found someone who could give her what she wanted. 219 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,840 -She left ya. -Took me kids. 220 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,640 Arsin'... arsin'... arsin' around behind me back with some greasy wop! 221 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,280 Wops are Italian. You were in Spain. 222 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,840 All the same gel-wearing, tight-trousered bastards! 223 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,280 Put the fire out! She... 224 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,880 She put out the fire, desire, that I felt for her. 225 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,240 So, you're back here. 226 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,000 [breathes heavily] 227 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,440 Fuck, sorry. 228 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,440 Who is it? 229 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,080 [sobbing] Mum. 230 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,080 It's Carol? 231 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,040 -I had no idea she'd... -[sniffs] 232 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,920 [melancholy piano music] 233 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,840 [Marty sobs softly] 234 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,080 You have had a shit time of it, haven't ya? 235 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:53,960 Look, you can't stay here. 236 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,760 I'll have a word with Shane. It'll only be the couch, but... 237 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,960 at least you'll be warm, safe. 238 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,360 How about it, eh? 239 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,440 -Prayer meeting at 20:00. -It look like I go to prayer meetings? 240 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,960 Looks like you need to. 241 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,480 There's an Xbox on the bus. PS3. Wii. 242 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,680 -What's your name? -Mephistopheles. 243 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,000 Call him Meff for short. 244 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,600 -God sent me to save you. -[Frank] Oh, yeah? 245 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:32,240 Many women, bigger, wiser and on the legal side of puberty to you 246 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,680 have tried to save me and failed spectacularly. 247 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,360 Vernon Francis Gallagher. Nine children to two different women. 248 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,680 Claiming Disability Benefits on and off for a back condition, 249 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,040 which only materialises at the same time as the possibility of a job. 250 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,360 What are you? Some sort of LibDem, Tory spy? 251 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,160 Receiving Child Benefits intended for your dependants for almost 30 years. 252 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,160 That money never put a meal on the table. Clothes on their backs. 253 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,640 Me and my benefits are classified information. 254 00:14:58,720 --> 00:14:59,680 It's theft, Frank. 255 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,400 A crime not only against your fellow man, but God himself. 256 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,480 I don't give a toss about me fellow man. 257 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,720 [shouting] And as for God... 258 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,400 -[blows raspberry] -[clapping] 259 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,760 [the Squad singing] ♪ Salvation or damnation... ♪ 260 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,240 Who the fuck are you? 261 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,960 ♪ You have a choice... ♪ 262 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,320 See the light! 263 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,440 ♪ Salvation... ♪ 264 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,200 -[Shane] Fuck that! -[Kelly] He's on his own. 265 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,080 In that shitty squat the junkies used to use. 266 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,320 Here'y'are. Only wants Marty staying here. Veronica's brother. 267 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,920 All we need, a fuckin' arsonist. 268 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,320 [baby crying] 269 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:40,760 Micky! 270 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,400 -[frantic music] -[Micky breathes heavily] 271 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,480 -He's got nowhere to live. -[Mimi] Micky! 272 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,320 [panting] 273 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,160 [Mimi] Wouldn't be able to leave a match... 274 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,840 [pants, groans] 275 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,120 -...or a lighter out... -[panting] Oh, God. 276 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,800 ...for fear of him torching the place. 277 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,080 -God, oh, God! -He's got a right potty mouth! 278 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,080 [guttural moan] 279 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,000 Fuck this, fuck that, fuck the other. 280 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,680 Every other word's fuck. 281 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,880 -Or twat. -[Micky] Who? 282 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:11,840 Marty. 283 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,600 He used to shout "cuntflaps" at the nuns in St. Morrissey's. 284 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,520 Cilla'd pick that up in no time. Imagine her, "cuntflaps". 285 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,400 -You've got a spare room. -No chance. 286 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,400 -Said that without moving your lips. -He is a bit of a liability. 287 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,760 -[knock at door] -[Jamie] Oh, for fuck's sake! 288 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,160 -You in on this, Ches? -Yeah, too right! 289 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,600 -Good. -Did you call Lillian? 290 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,040 [sighs] Couldn't get through. 291 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,800 [Chesney] Micky, you know where she is don't ya? 292 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:42,280 ["The Good, The Bad, The Ugly -Main Title" by Ennio Morricone plays] 293 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,080 -[woman screaming, moaning] -[man moaning] 294 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,360 If the car's a rockin', don't come knockin'. 295 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,760 I've gone mobile. 296 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,800 I couldn't get a punter past the God squad, 297 00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:03,320 -so I've launched 'Feels On Wheels'. -[screaming, moaning] 298 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,839 It's an orgy! 299 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,680 [Lillian] Didn't start like that. Two were late 300 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,040 and then all me appointments all went crashing, 301 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,200 so I thought, to hell with it, and chucked 'em all in at once. 302 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,000 I take a 10% cut and keep film and distribution rights. 303 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,760 They're being filmed? 304 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,480 Hey, little tiny cameras the size of match sticks. 305 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:24,480 Haven't got a clue. 306 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,599 -[Mimi] Who'd watch that? -[Micky] Big market for chubby chasers. 307 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,360 I knock out DVD's on the computer, 308 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,360 take 'em down the car boot on a Saturday. 309 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,480 Make a mint-a. 310 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,240 Oh, we're going to see Jesus. 311 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:40,560 I'm fucked off with the effect his crusade's having on business. 312 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:41,600 Jamie! 313 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,600 I'll be with you in spirit, 314 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,680 but if there's a ruck, I won't be of any use. 315 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,560 -You're getting on a bit, so-- -No, it's the love eggs. 316 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,720 Last time I was involved in a tussle, I lost one. 317 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,200 One of the girls had to come down and suction it out 318 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,440 -with the hose off the Dyson. -Ah... 319 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,080 -I just brought up a bit of sick. -So have I. 320 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,000 -[anticipatory music] -[moaning continues] 321 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,200 [music fades out] 322 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,960 Get your boss out here now or else you'll be meeting your maker 323 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,200 a bit quicker than you'd fuckin' imagined. 324 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,840 Wanna play it the hard way, that's fine with us. 325 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,560 Stop this, please! 326 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,960 For the love of God, stop. 327 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,240 None of this'd be happening if you'd come out when you were told. 328 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,240 We want your pickets removed from outside our businesses. 329 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,360 There's a message to be spread, Chesney. 330 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,640 Your brains'll be the only thing being spread if you don't listen up. 331 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,240 You're eating into our profits, that's not on. 332 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,200 Your trade breeds misery. 333 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,640 -Families ripped apart. -People have a freedom of choice. 334 00:18:55,720 --> 00:19:00,200 I can't stand idly by and watch men and women drown 335 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,240 in the very thing that you sell. 336 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,600 Look at Frank! 337 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,400 Happiness his children have missed out on through his addiction. 338 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,560 If you knew Frank, you'd know his kids've had a lucky escape. 339 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,280 Call them off. 340 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,000 We're here to do God's work. 341 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,280 -Peace and love. -[the Squad echo him] 342 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,040 I can't call that off. 343 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,360 Can't ask it to stop. 344 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,440 Well then, you leave us no choice. 345 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,680 [Patty] You can't call it off... 346 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,360 [voice echoing] but I can. 347 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,000 -[chimes ring] -[heavenly voices sing] 348 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,840 [animal howling] 349 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,520 [sighs] So, why all the cloak and dagger? 350 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,040 Why jump me in the street? Why not just knock round? 351 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,880 I'm on the run. They've a warrant out. 352 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,000 For? 353 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:58,400 Didn't pay maintenance. 354 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,520 -[tuts] -[Marty] I didn't have it, Kel. 355 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,200 When she kicked me out, I ended up sleeping on the beach, 356 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,640 I lost me job. Didn't have a pot to piss in. 357 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,400 Besides... [supresses a tic] 358 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,600 ...fella she moved in with was loaded. The kids didn't go short. 359 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,080 What? 360 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,720 You haven't swore. 361 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:19,800 [laughs] Fuck... 362 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,000 -Yeah. -[Kelly laughs] 363 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:26,840 Shane doesn't want you staying. 364 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:32,000 So, I thought the best thing we could do 365 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,360 would be to make this place as comfy as we can. 366 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,000 You've got a duvet cover there, too. Anything else you want? 367 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:41,680 A fuck. 368 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,360 Is that your Tourette's back? 369 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,480 [grunts] 370 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,440 I'll ask one of the girls to pop round. You got a type? 371 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,560 Er... 372 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,000 Blonde. 'Bout your size. [laughs nervously] 373 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,120 Lillian'll be docking me pay. Bye. 374 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,000 [suggestive music] 375 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,400 [Shane] It's me. Leave a message. 376 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:43,600 Nothing going on here, so I'll leave it an hour or so, then head home. 377 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,200 If you're at the Jockey, don't worry about rushing back, 378 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,640 bath and bed when I get in, I'm knackered. Have a good 'un. 379 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,320 Love you. 380 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,040 -[Kelly gasps] -[Marty laughs] 381 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:10,560 -Hey, leave 'em on. -Shat meself then! 382 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,240 -[Marty screams] -[Kelly] Oh, my... 383 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,400 -What do you think you're doing? -[screams] 384 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,080 -[Kelly screams] -[Marty groans] 385 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,000 [Marty laughing] Hang on, punchline! 386 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,320 -And all because... -[both laugh] 387 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,840 -The lady loves... What the... -[Marty laughs] 388 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,920 [both laugh hysterically] 389 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,760 -[Marty exclaims] -[Kelly laughs] 390 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,480 [Grace] ...and I pledge to thee my purity. 391 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,880 [children] And I pledge to thee my purity. 392 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,040 [Grace] And I pledge to thee my faith. 393 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:41,920 -[all] And I pledge to thee my faith. -Now and forever. Amen. 394 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,440 [all] Now and forever. Amen. 395 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,040 All right, crisps and pop coming up! 396 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,200 Enjoy! 397 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,760 You missed it. 398 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,400 -The prayer session. -I know. 399 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,800 You cannot just turn up for games, crisps and pop. 400 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,120 Cannot just reap the rewards, have to put the time in. 401 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,120 It's all new to me. 402 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,640 -[gunfire on game] -Like a big family, innit? 403 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,120 I'll be on time next time. 404 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,560 Erm... 405 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,160 I'm sure God wouldn't mind me making an exception. 406 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,120 Monster Munch or Nibletts? 407 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,320 [the Squad sings and plays tambourines] 408 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,400 Your cronies are fucking up business in the pub. 409 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,520 -And the shop. -And Lillian's. 410 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,000 -You have to stop, now. -I can't. 411 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,400 I wouldn't put myself in the middle of it, Patty. 412 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:40,320 Jesus was never afraid of a fight and neither am I, Jamie. 413 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,640 -I'd sooner not do this. -Well, then don't. 414 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,360 Leave the devil behind and look for salvation, 415 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,440 before it's too late. 416 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,960 I want you off the estate this time tomorrow. 417 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,920 No wonder your crew knew all there is to know about everyone. 418 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,640 The font of all knowledge, eh? 419 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,560 I know how people might redeem themselves. 420 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,360 Since he shone his light, my life is finally worth living 421 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,840 and yours could be too, so Hallelujah! 422 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,800 -Hallelujah! -Hallelujah! 423 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,480 [Patty] Join us in the light 424 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,600 and let his love illuminate the darkest corners of your life. 425 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,200 I don't really do religion, I'm a Catholic. 426 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:41,200 Do you think the Lord will forgive you for all you've done? Beware! 427 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,520 You beware. 428 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,160 If you think I'm gonna let you and yours fuck up my nearest and dearest, 429 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,320 you're wrong. No one messes with my family. 430 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,040 If you think we're a pushover, think again. 431 00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:53,640 Blow it out your arse! 432 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,160 I'm New Testament, 433 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:59,000 your mumbo jumbo scaremongery's lost on me. 434 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,880 You want trouble, Patty? Bring it on! 435 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:08,680 Verily, God will visit upon you fire and brimstone and damnation! 436 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,840 [yelling] The earth shall weep, Mimi, 437 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:17,240 the earth... shall... weep! 438 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:21,680 Pepperoni, madam. 439 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,560 Extra Basil like you asked. 440 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,960 [laughing] I meant on the pizza. 441 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,000 With basil on tap, you can have it any time you want now. 442 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,320 I'm glad you're not in a hurry to get home. 443 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,600 No one to hurry to. 444 00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,160 Shane's out on "family business". 445 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,240 -You mean kicking somebody's arse? -[Kelly laughs] 446 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,840 Or telling someone they're getting their arse kicked. 447 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,680 Not sure what he gets up to lately, 448 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,320 but I'm pretty sure it involves arses and kicking. 449 00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:58,400 -Can't be easy being married to a Maguire. -[Kelly chuckles] 450 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,560 Bit of an effort lately. 451 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,480 All marriages go through funny patches, eh? 452 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,000 Yeah. 453 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,680 -Just be a funny patch. -Yeah. 454 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,320 Mam says we need to be on red alert. 455 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,800 -What's that mean? -Patty and her pals made a threat, 456 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,800 which Mam thinks we need to take seriously, 457 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,480 so there's a family powwow later to decide the next move. 458 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:25,440 Hiya. 459 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,600 What you been up to? 460 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,480 Not much. Someone nearly got their arse kicked, that's all. 461 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:32,080 You? 462 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,000 Been with a client. 463 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,360 -Can you smoke that? -It's Basil. 464 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,200 -[scoffs] You've give it a name? -No, Micky, everyone calls it basil. 465 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,680 -What's it for? -Cooking. 466 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,480 Stick it in a pasta, top of pizzas. 467 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,280 -[Shane] We're having pasta again? -No. 468 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,960 -Fuck you buy it for then? -It's a gift. 469 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:55,520 Some perv's buying you a plant as a thank you for paying to fuck ya? 470 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,800 It wasn't a perv, it was Marty. 471 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,280 -So, he's buying you a plant? -Shane! 472 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,360 punters've bought me watches before now. 473 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,960 Roses for the anniversary of when they first fucked me 474 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:18,920 and you and me, we laughed at that. 475 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:21,880 Why's it bothering ya? 476 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,800 -You do not buy a plant. -We're just having a laugh. 477 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,240 We just got talking about stuff we liked and... Shane! 478 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,680 ["Lust For Life" by Iggy Pop plays] 479 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,880 [Kelly] Shane, come on, this is stupid! 480 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:36,560 -Shane, will ya-- -Fuck off! 481 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:37,680 It's a plant! 482 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:42,000 A fuckin' plant as a joke. A thank you, that's all! 483 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,160 Shane! 484 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,760 Stop it. Shane! [cries out] 485 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,600 -Shane, stop it! -[Marty] Shane? 486 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,520 -[Marty grunts in pain] -[Kelly] Stop it! 487 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,000 -[Kelly] No! -[Jesus] Shane! 488 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,400 -Leave it, leave it! -Fuck off! 489 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,720 None of your business, so fuckin' do one! 490 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,800 -Are you okay? -[Kelly] Just leave, please. 491 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,480 -[Marty cries out] -What the fuck are you doin'? 492 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,000 What the fuck's this about? 493 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:18,000 There was no need. Absolutely no need! 494 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,480 -[Marty groans] -He stays away! 495 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,080 You don't say who can and can't-- 496 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,160 You... are my wife! 497 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,280 Kelly Maguire. 498 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,280 You got that? 499 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:32,200 -Maguire! -[yells] And don't I fuckin' know it! 500 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,680 -[Marty whimpers] -Come on. I said come on. 501 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:42,320 -[Kelly wails, sobs] -[Marty cries out in pain] 502 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,000 -[Grace] What's it like living round here? -Better than where I used to live. 503 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,160 We shouldn't even be talking to each other. 504 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,040 Being on opposing sides, you mean? 505 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,680 The Maguires asked me to find out what your lot are planning. 506 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,040 Been asked to find out what the Maguires planning. 507 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,280 -[both laugh] -Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. 508 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:05,600 I'll pray for your soul. 509 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,000 Don't you ever get pissed off? I mean, erm, bored, 510 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,600 doing this all the time? 511 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,840 If I can get through to one person, just one, it'll have been worthwhile. 512 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,360 [mobile phone rings] 513 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,560 Yes, mate? 514 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,240 -Never just want a bit of fun? -I do have fun. 515 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,280 I enjoy my work. My mission. 516 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,280 Look, I believe in God but only for an hour on a Sunday. 517 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,200 -It hasn't taken over my whole life. -It needs to. 518 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:38,680 Don't you just want a bit of excitement? 519 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,000 -[glass smashing] -[car alarm ringing] 520 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,000 [fire hisses] 521 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,000 [Shane] Fuck! 522 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,160 These fuckers are harder than we thought. 523 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,480 Willing to go to any lengths to prove their point. 524 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,240 [Kelly] It might not have been them. 525 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,160 -Who else could it've been? -[Mimi] I told Patty the score. 526 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,560 She threw down the gauntlet. This is war. 527 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,000 So much for peace and goodwill, eh? 528 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,000 Me and my Brendan was involved in an explosion once. 529 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:29,440 Nineteen seventy two. We were on a cruise, celebrating us anniversary. 530 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,760 Having dinner at the Captains' table, when suddenly, this God almighty bang 531 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,120 and the ship tipped. Felt it, wham! 532 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,480 And within an hour, the whole vessel were upside down. 533 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:41,560 We were trapped. 534 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,800 That was the Poseidon Adventure. 535 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:49,840 Did it not happen? 536 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,400 So, we're just gonna sit here and let 'em get away with it? 537 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,120 Would you be doing this if I'd been blown to fuckin' pieces? 538 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,720 -[Jamie] No. -So, what do we do? 539 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,760 -Go round there and nail them. -[Micky] You mean kill them? 540 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,680 -Kill Jesus? -[Shane] Kill 'em all. 541 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,720 We tried the gentle approach, and they wouldn't listen. 542 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,120 Your answer to everything that, isn't it? 543 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,240 What do you suggest? 544 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:15,720 I dunno, anything but that. 545 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,280 -It's... It's just wrong! -It's all wrong. 546 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:23,160 This time tomorrow, our problem will no longer be our problem. 547 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,400 [suspenseful music] 548 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:34,280 [whispering] Kel! Kel! 549 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,640 -Are you okay? He didn't hit ya? -He wouldn't fuckin' dare. 550 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,560 Don't come round again, Marty. 551 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,160 [Marty supresses a tic] 552 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,240 -Why? -He'll kill ya. 553 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,920 -I can't just stop seeing ya. -You're gonna have to. 554 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,040 -I can't! -Why the fuck not? 555 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:54,640 Because I love ya. 556 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,080 [groans with frustration] 557 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:03,680 [whisper] I love you! 558 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:12,680 You sure you're okay? 559 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,640 Fine thanks, Auntie. 560 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,080 If you're agreeable, you could stay with us. 561 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,160 -Come with us. Join our Crusade. -You mean it? 562 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,360 Indeed we do. 563 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,560 -Where's Grace? -Upstairs, having a lie down. 564 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,520 I'm off on a few messages. 565 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,520 If you need anything, just call for Jesus. 566 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:41,720 I'll be in the office. 567 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,800 [thunder claps] 568 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,680 -What you doin'? -What's it look like? 569 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,320 It's upside down. 570 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:31,600 [Micky laughs] 571 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,680 Eh. Jesus... 572 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,880 If you hadn't dragged my husband off, 573 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,720 he'd have killed that poor bastard and be looking at life stretch, 574 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,320 so I owe ya. 575 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:01,040 Look, my lot have had enough. 576 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,400 And they plan to make sure you don't cause them no more problems. 577 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,240 -When they realise we pose no threat-- -Look, Jesus... 578 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,840 What's your real name? I can't keep calling you that. 579 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,040 -That is my real name. -What did your mam call ya? 580 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,560 Fuck's sake, I'm trying to have a serious conversation. 581 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:20,239 [clears throat] 582 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,639 -Eric. -Eric. 583 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,120 [whispers] Eric. 584 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:34,560 Some folk respond well to kindness, a soft touch. 585 00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:37,040 Jamie isn't the type of man you wanna be messing with. 586 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,080 When the Romans came for Christ-- 587 00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:41,199 You wanna finish up in the foundations of a flyover? 588 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,639 Well, sit tight. 589 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,120 -[thunder claps] -[Kelly sighs] 590 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,600 There's something I don't understand. 591 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:51,800 You're a... [sighs] 592 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,199 good looking bloke. 593 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:57,760 Kind, considerate, passionate. 594 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,800 -Your love for God tells me that much. -Ya never been tempted? 595 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,400 You never been tempted? 596 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,320 I pray to God to keep me pure. 597 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,200 -You never longed for that touch? -That euphoria. 598 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,240 -Him. -His need. 599 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:14,720 My need. 600 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:22,240 [Kelly, Micky] When we make love, I could almost believe in God. 601 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:23,880 [whispers] It's that good. 602 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,240 It's that good. 603 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,560 -Don't be here. -They're coming. 604 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,280 -[Kelly] See ya. -[Aidan] Bye. 605 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,080 Nice shoes, Grace. 606 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:47,640 You'd better go. 607 00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,160 -[sobs] -[thunder claps] 608 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:08,000 [suspicious music] 609 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:20,800 [screams] 610 00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:22,800 -Fuck! -Have you heard from Libby? 611 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,880 I'm the last one she'd get in touch with. 612 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,560 -Where is she? -I don't know. 613 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,320 [sighs with relief] 614 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,560 Why are you so intent on seeing her anyway? 615 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,000 She didn't say where she was going or who she was going with. 616 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,160 Why would she tell me? 617 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,280 -She didn't leave a note for me? -What for her jailer? 618 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,240 -Her tormentor? -I'm her mother. 619 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,440 Just because you've seen the light, 620 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,040 doesn't mean to say everyone else has too. 621 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,120 [Frank groans] 622 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,240 [lighter clicks] 623 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,080 Go seek comfort in Jesus. 624 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,360 Not the real one, obviously, not suggesting you should top yaself, 625 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,160 but... you know, the himbo on the bus. 626 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:22,160 I'm sure he can rustle up a few words of comfort from some Epistle or another. 627 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,160 Y'know, rattle his tambourine. 628 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,640 [Frank laughs] 629 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,960 Fuck me. 630 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,120 The ice maiden melteth. 631 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:41,320 [sighs] 632 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,600 [grunts] 633 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,480 I shed a few tears for her. 634 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,160 Mostly of regret. 635 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:13,560 -You treated her like shite. -Regret that I ever met her, 636 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:17,200 that we ever picked up where we left off, cos truth be told, 637 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,040 there was nothing left to pick up. 638 00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:22,480 But you know I got me tea made. Me washing done. 639 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,920 -A good nosh now and again. -You bastard! 640 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,320 All she needed to hear was "I love you" and she was on her knees. 641 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:30,520 [grumbles] 642 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,760 I've had better sex but me shirts have never been whiter. 643 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,560 I wondered when the real Patty would resurface... 644 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,680 and here she is. 645 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,000 [thunder claps] 646 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:49,880 [toilet flushing] 647 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,400 So, this is goodbye, then, is it? 648 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,000 I can't see any reason to stay. 649 00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,960 [Frank] Where'd you go when you left here? 650 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,440 What turned you from the Godless old crone that we knew 651 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,880 to the Godfearing crone now before us? 652 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,400 Much like yourself, I lived a selfish life, 653 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,480 attending to my needs before considering the needs of others. 654 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,720 And then I went back to Ireland and while there, 655 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,880 had what I can only describe as my Road To Damascus experience. 656 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:26,480 So, God just popped up and showed you the error of your ways? 657 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,800 Yeah? Well, I don't believe a word. 658 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,200 See, I think little Patty clocked the Jesus freaks 659 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:32,560 and thought bingo, 660 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:36,200 free meals and a roof over me head the rest of me life. 661 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,960 I wouldn't expect you to believe. 662 00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:41,720 I was a lost sheep and God saved me. 663 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:43,280 Liar! 664 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:49,560 May he strike me down here and now if I tell a word of a lie. 665 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:51,760 [thunder claps] 666 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:06,000 ["Requiem Mass, K. 626: I. Introitus, Requiem Aeternam" by Mozart] 667 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:09,600 [thunder claps] 668 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:19,680 [cracking] 669 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,960 [siren in the distance] 670 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:46,880 Marty? 671 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,520 -I'm going. -Good. 672 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,920 No. I mean, I'm leaving this. 673 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,520 You don't have to leave this, just here. 674 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,960 My head's full of everything I've been missing. 675 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,360 You can have it all. I think God'd let you. 676 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:02,000 How can I preach purity when all I want to be is impure? 677 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,600 Preach goodness when all I want to do is bad? 678 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,360 I'm not worthy. They deserve better than me. 679 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:16,320 What you want to do, it's normal. It's not bad. 680 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,600 But I want it to be bad. 681 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,560 I want to bite the apple, Kelly. 682 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:28,880 Thank you. 683 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:40,120 ["The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" by Ennio Morricone] 684 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,240 [chains clank] 685 00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,800 [chainsaw revving] 686 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,240 [music fades out] 687 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,400 [Shane] Anyone? 688 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,280 [Jamie] Nothing. 689 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,000 [mobile phone rings] 690 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,680 -Ya got my present, then? -I won't ask where it came from. 691 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,680 -[Aidan] No, don't. -You got my present? 692 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,360 [Aidan] I got it. 693 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,200 Listen, next time you're saving souls round here, 694 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:38,120 come save mine. 695 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:40,120 Bye. 696 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:46,800 They say the damage to my spine is irreparable. 697 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,600 I'll never walk again. 698 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,200 You've taken it very well, Patty. I'll give you that. 699 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,240 I've got my life back, Frank. What could be better? 700 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,360 I don't understand.. 701 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,480 The police are going to be here any minute 702 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,640 and what I tell them depends very much on you. 703 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:03,920 How d'you mean? 704 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,040 [Patty] Everyone on the estate knows how much you hated me. 705 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:10,800 Everyone knows how much you wanted me out the picture. 706 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,200 If you agree to have me move back, 707 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,840 then I agree not to tell the police you pushed me down the stairs. 708 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,280 That you did this. 709 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,120 Well, that's just my word against... Who's gonna believe you-- 710 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,080 [cries out] Nurse! 711 00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:26,680 Oh, God. Nurse! 712 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,600 The pain! [moans] 713 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,480 I think we'll have to increase your morphine. 714 00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,160 I'm just gonna check with the Doctor. Hang on there, Patty. 715 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:35,720 [Patty moans dramatically] 716 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,440 Wouldn't you be better off back on the bus, amongst your own kind? 717 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:51,560 With those bible bashing bastards? I can't stand the feckin' sight of them! 718 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,720 I want to be amongst folks I know. Familiar faces. Surroundings. 719 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,960 I want to come home. 720 00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:02,360 And I want to make your life a feckin' misery, Frank. 721 00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,640 [Frank groans] 722 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,400 [softly sobs] 723 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,280 [Kelly] I ran into that old boyfriend a few years ago. 724 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:23,480 I was out with the girls in town, turned a corner and bang! There he was. 725 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:26,960 No longer a possible replacement for Robbie or Gary. 726 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,840 His face was etched with all the wrong he'd done. 727 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,360 All the pain he'd caused. 728 00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,680 [Avril] Oh, they're here! 729 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,640 [Kelly] And if I believed in God, 730 00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:38,520 I'd like to think he'd had every sin he'd ever committed 731 00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:41,240 scratched into his face. 732 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,440 As a warning to others to keep their distance. 733 00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,680 To beware... 734 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,960 That's, if I believed in God. 735 00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:56,480 What you going on about, Cynthia? It's a scratch card. 736 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:58,840 [TV] Tonight a pensioner was brutally assaulted 737 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,520 in her home, in Belvedere Road. 738 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:05,080 If it gets any clearer, I'll be topping meself. 739 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,480 -It's Frank's name on the line. -Yeah, and his head. 740 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,720 [clamouring] 741 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,720 [Kelly] Don't know how you could've missed him. 742 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,080 What the fuck? 743 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,600 Forensic's rustled a few new words up for you, Frank. 744 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,000 DNA. Positive match. 745 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,680 If it was you, that'd be us finished. 746 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,160 I need to speak to Kev now, where is he? 747 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,800 [Lillian] Did my Brendan spend time in a Turkish prison? 748 00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,520 -[Kelly] Midnight Express. -[Lillian] Oh... 749 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,440 -Play Russian Roulette in 'Nam? -[Kelly] Deer Hunter. 750 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,000 Did he find a dead body when he were a kid? 751 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,240 Stand By Me. 752 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:25,120 Tour Australian outback with a troupe of drag queens? 753 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,600 Yeah, he did that. 754 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,400 [man screams] 58580

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