All language subtitles for the.artful.dodger.s01e02.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab[eztv.li]

Fire!

Jack! Dawkins! I didn't help bust you out
of prison, so you could stand and watch.

Quick sticks, boy.

No, it's not sharp enough, guv!

Got it.

- Help me.
- All right, guv.

One, two, three, four, five...

Nine, ten...

Cat gut!
Need those quick fingers of yours.

- Stitch him. Pull his skin over.
- Right.

- Mother never taught you to sew?
- Never had one, sir.

- Over here, Captain!
- Show me!

- Stay with him, Jack.
- What do I do?

Nothing. Intestinal wound
is beyond our reach.

- He'll die before we're halfway through.
- So what? I don't...

Hold his hand
and see him to the next life.

What?

Wally.

Which way to the operating room?

There's no one in there.
And women aren't allowed, ma'am.

No, no, no. No, no, no, wait.

No, give me more time.

For God's sake, man,

I cannot perform surgery
without both of my hands!

It's a shame you didn't factor that
before you took up cards, Jack.

You owe me what you owe me,
and it's considerable.

- Take his right hand.
- No!

Hello, Mrs. Brennan.

Is that young Nathaniel I see there?

- He is growing apace.
- I give you my word.

I will have the funds soon.

What do you think, young Nathaniel?
Do you think we can trust him?

Nah.

I took this hand off another welcher
earlier this morning.

I have rules, see.

I'll allow you the latitude of Wednesday.

You pay me in full by then, or this.

All right if I have the hand?

It's a way shy of being useful, innit?

If I run a wire down to the main lever and
add some of these small twirly things...

It's hard to see 'im mastering the
subtlety of surgery with that thing, Timmy.

It'll be right.

I just made an arm out of a corset
and a few forks.

You much of an orange eater, Dodge?

- I suppose.
- Shame.

Come.

You manage
to flog them rubies yet?

Now, therein lies a hiccup.

You see, I'm not yet familiar
with the comings and goings of this parish

and if you hadn't set yourself up
as a man of standing,

rather than what you're born to,

you might have been able to steer me
in a direction of use.

This is who I am.
This is all that matters to me.

Look, I'll fence them.

You have me solemn oath,
it's just, this is a shrunken town,

and I've gotta make meself a familiar.

I'm relying on you.

Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

If you can't get the money
by Wednesday, then I lose my hand.

My word is my bond.

Your word and your bond
are two very different islands

with a vast ocean in between.

Hands are too tricky, Jack.
Too many moving things.

Any chance you'll swap for a leg?
Stumps are easy.

Perhaps, you wanna get that

while you can still relish the sensation
of a doorknob between your fingertips.

- Funny.
- Respectfully.

Just when you think
your day's reached its full potential.

Care for an orange, my dear?

I've only learned through trial and error

that they display more sweetness
with the skin off.

I've come here to train.

- Horses?
- This was all I could find in a hurry.

I'm afraid today
is not a very good day for me.

You see,
I'm trying to resolve a personal issue.

It happens to be a very good day for me.
Where do I start?

Hetty will introduce you
to the other nurses

and issue you with a uniform.

No. I'm not here to train as a nurse.

But you are here to teach me
the art of surgery.

That was never the deal.

That was precisely the deal.

In return for me not handing you over
to my father, the governor,

the man with all the power
and lust for hanging.

You will do what I say.

- Women cannot make surgeons.
- Of course we can.

- She does have both hands.
- Thank you, Hetty.

These are not my rules.

They are society's rules.

See, you forget. Here, I am society.

Professor McGregor will never accept you.

Did you miss the part where I said
I was the governor's daughter?

See, I'm as close to royalty
as it comes here.

Not in this place, you're not.

Here, you start
where everyone else starts.

Well done.

Now, if Your Majesty
would take this royal offering

and 30 more like it and place it
in the pit at the rear of the hospital,

that would be excellent, thank you.

You take human excrement from sick people
and dump it outside the door?

Well, you may fashion a quilt from it,
should you desire.

This place is horrendous.

You noticed?

Has no one here heard of cleanliness?

Have you read the literature
coming out about hygiene?

See, we're a little busy here
to get much reading done.

Then you are killing your patients.

This lot would be safer
living in a pig pen.

The first task of any doctor
is not to panic their patients.

Now, I agree with you.

The ward is less than savoury,
but that is how the Prof likes it.

The professor's a giant windy pop
in an overcoat.

We do agree on something.

- I refuse to work in there.
- Fine.

Thank you for the honour of your visit.

I will need mops.

And I need to address the nursing
and laundry staff.

And, yes, some other clothes.

I've died and gone to hell.

Look around you, scum and wastrels,
and I am meant to save them?

And I defend 'em.

And I have to save their worthless souls.

You know, before I came here,
I rarely indulged in libation.

I was known for my sobriety.

You know, I am a man of God
and even I do not abstain.

- Surgery demands a steady hand.
- Don't make me boke.

As does God.

You can no more shift that lot
than become the Lord of the Highlands.

Everyone knows who they belong to.

Darius's wife.

And no one round here
wants fine jewellery.

Take a look around you.

What a sad sorrow of a country
filled with fine upstanding Irish

and London scoundrels
and not a thing worth stealing.

Gold, rum, baccy, shovels, coins,

snitch me something they can use.

Bring 'em to me and we might talk.

Scrub every inch! Every surface!

Open up those windows.
Let in some actual air.

We are forbidden to do that, ma'am,
for fear of contagion and God's wrath.

God sees this as one giant cesspit.

Open them!

And what would ma'am have us
do with these sheets?

Burn them.

Now, I made an unbreakable vow to the Lord

that if my church
becomes a cathedral and I a bishop,

- I will, thereafter, curtail my drinking.
- Aye, aye.

A solemn vow indeed, but is that likely?

Well, sadly,
Port Victory is not a place of pilgrimage.

There's nothing sacred
in this dog's swill country.

No relics, no icons, no saint's bones.

Just destitute criminals
demanding absolution.

You know, the real money
is with the Protestants.

Yes. Well, I have often wondered
about conversion.

And you can marry if you do.

Yes, there's a downside to everything.

All that scrubbing has left you
with a hole in your dress.

Then look away.

You know, I am aware
of medical discoveries overseas,

just our head surgeon is not.

Blood and gore, to him,
it's like a badge of honour.

And you'll go along with it
even if it's killing your patients?

He will turn everything you've done
back to the way it was.

And, for a few days,

at least some of the people
in there might survive.

You'll need a map of the human body,

how everything connects
to everything else,

from the big toe,
all the way up to the top of the head.

So, from the hallux to the cranium?

Digit phalanges, tarsus,
crus, patella, femur...

Well, no,
it's about the internal organs as well.

Cerebellum, oesophagus,
lungs, heart, liver,

or would you like the names
in Ancient Greek?

I speak Greek, and Latin. Do you?

I've never found the need
to speak to dead Latins.

It isn't about the names.

You just said it was.

No, it is about
looking into the face of a child

knowing they're going to die

and knowing that there is nothing
you can do to help them.

There are more things
to medicine than death.

There is life, and hope.

I'm sorry I was not born
into a life of wealth.

I don't have the luxury of being able
to cause trouble and get away with it.

So, really much better
to be a common thief with your uncle.

Do you know how much
they pay the surgeons here?

Well, no, of course, you wouldn't.
Why would you?

Nothing. I get free food
and accommodation.

- Then, how do you...
- By gambling.

I play cards.

That's how I make my money.
And I'm pretty good at it.

Except, last time, I got cheated,

and now, if I don't come up
with a year's worth of income,

then I get my hand cut off.

So, that's why Fagin stole the gems.

You want to be a surgeon?

Then expect nothing in return.

Hey, Dodge,
what do you know about Catholics?

What are they on about?

Have you managed to flog those rubies yet?

It's in hand,
there's a couple of details still begging.

What do you know about 'em?

- Are you thinking about converting?
- It depends.

There may be something
of a holy conflation between money,

bones and Catholics.

Well, ask one of the nurses.
They're all micks.

Jack, got a sailor
who drank some whitewash.

Why would he do that?

A bet. Painting his internals.

Mix him up an emetic

and give him that bucket
when you've emptied it.

Sister. Sister, excuse me.

I was wondering,
as a man on a journey of faith,

whether I could talk to you about yours?

And you think this is the right time
to ask, do you?

Do what the Pope says,
be nice about the Virgin,

go to confessional and tell him your sins.

What area of the body claims that one?

- Coccyx?
- Yeah.

It's part of a woman's arse.
Leftover bit of tail.

Nellie Corstair's tail,
to be more precise.

You know, she was about to hang,
but the TB got her.

They hung her corpse anyway,
so she learnt her lesson.

We are men, first and foremost.

It was from our rib
that woman was created.

We don't bow to women.

We are, by the grace of God,
the superior being.

Now let's see a woman try
and lift this over her head.

Well, I'd love to see
the naggin' biddy do this.

- Dear.
- Now...

What?

Now, just relax, Tinkler.

I think what you have here
is a strangulated hernia.

Dear.

Now, no need to operate.

With my expertise, I shall massage
the tuberance back into place.

What the devilment has happened here?

What? Where's my hospital gone?

What is that odious smell?

Cleanliness, sir.
It's apparently a new thing.

And you're responsible for this?

Because if you were,
your employment is terminated.

No, sir. The order came from on high.

Who on high?

The governor's daughter.
She is insisting on it.

Lady Belle, what are you doing here?

My father sent me to observe.

I run this felicity at a gold standard.

I will have you know

that one in every six of my patients
goes on to live a very full life.

- Very impressive numbers.
- I cannot deal with this now.

My friend has a strangulated hernia.

- I shall lay hands on him.
- What?

- Prepare the surgical room.
- No.

- Prepare the surgical room.
- No.

Gentlemen, what you have before you,
is a classically-herniated groin.

With many lesser practitioners,
this procedure would prove impossible.

But sadly perhaps for you in the gallery,
in my hands,

this procedure will prove brief
and painless for my friend.

Yeah, pick 'em up, pick 'em up, pick 'em.

And lay the patient on the table.

Here. Easy, now.

What are you doing?

Forgive me, Bishop.

I was overcome with religious zeal.

Now,
I lower my friend's trousers

and feel gently around the groinal area.

Hello.

Sorry, Tinkler,
I didn't mean to touch that.

Yes, I can feel a sizeable protuberance
to the right of the testicles.

Pass me the hernia tool.

Now, I place the tool
gently onto the skin.

Yes, well,
in a church of this magnificence,

surely, you are the bishop.

Too far from Rome.

Yes, well,

my own days training for the cloth
were equally hard.

You a priest? Find that hard to believe.

Yes, well,
these are the struggles of our faith.

What do we believe?

- I'm locking up now.
- All right, okay.

Well, I'll be on me way.

It's just, you see, I do like to bless
each church that I visit

with me holy relic before I leave.

I thank you, Bishop. Sorry, Priest.

A relic?

Now, just a standard complication
as the blood seeps out.

It's dropping, something I can sop with.

- What's happening?
- His bowel is falling out.

Do something.

Well, nothing more to be done.
Just the to and fro of normal medicine.

He'll die if you don't do something.

- Quick!
- He will die, anyway. It's abdominal.

We can't operate.

- The pain alone would kill him.
- Somebody daub as best we can.

At me lowest ebb, broken, destitute,

I was a wanderer without purpose,

until one day, a holy man
appeared to me on Mount Sinai...

But I thought you said
you were in Jerusalem.

And told me to go forth unto Jerusalem,

where God would bestow upon me
a great blessing,

but also, a great burden.

And would that I could be rid of it.

Is this real?

It is real as my faith.

And these jewels...

Rubies.

And the bone, who does that belong to?

- A martyred saint.
- Which saint?

Saint Coccyx.

- I haven't heard of him.
- Her.

You wouldn't have, very recent.

The Vatican kept her hushed.

She had a power that can't be measured.

Three of the popes
owe their papacy to her.

Well, she touched the popes?

Very often, I suspect.

But I can see
that you're closin' up, so...

No, no, no. Stay, stay.

Let me break out the altar wine.

Is there anything that
you would like me to say to your wife?

I told you, he refuses to ether patients.

Yeah, I wasn't thinking of the patient.

You tell her you're a murdering buffoon
who's killed me!

This is just normal behaviour
for someone in a state of shock.

Blood loss will also cause...

- You're sweating, sir.
- Thank you.

Or are they manly tears for a comrade?

Here.

Take over.

What? But I've never done
abdominal surgery before.

No one has.

He'll die, anyways.
His bowels are around his knees.

Everybody out. Go on.

Tim, can you deal with the Prof?

I have no idea how much ether to use.

So, experiment.

The amount they've been drinking,
they'll be out for weeks.

There, breathe in.

The idiot's perforated his bowel.

I'm gonna have to cut out
this section here and then join it up.

Just a moment.

Hetty, scissors.

Staunch that blood.
I can't see a damn thing.

I can suture it.

- Are you sure? I don't want you fainting.
- I'm fine.

How's your needlework?