All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S03E15 The Jingle Bells Affair

Now, what is the delay?

Uh, it's a parade, sir.

You had better lean
back, comrade chairman.

The assassins, they
can be anywhere.

I'm a very fortunate
man, Mr. Solo.

To have security chief who
cares so much about my welfare.

But, uh, sometimes,
Radish, you overdo it, no?

But what is this parade?

Uh, it's the annual Macy's
Thanksgiving Parade.

Macy's? What are Macy's?

It's a department store,
sir, and a very famous one.

The parade has become
a national institution.

Ah.

It marks the beginning of the
Christmas shopping season.

Yes, the time when the rich get
richer and the poor get poorer, no?

Well, that's not exactly the intent,
but you probably have a point.

Parades, circuses. Anything to
help to exploit the masses, eh?

This is the time of the
year, comrade chairman...

when the working
class is tossed a bone.

And this bone is wrapped
in such a pretty paper...

and tied with such a beautiful
ribbon, that you can't find the worm in it.

Is that not so?

Not so, Mr. Radish.

Uh, if you were lucky
enough to find a worm...

Macy's will be pleased to give
you double your money back.

- Ha, ha, ha.
- Lies, lies.

Always with the imperialist
lies. You always...

All right, Radish.

I don't wanna have
another earache.

So will you please shut up?

Long live the peace-loving
peoples of the world.

- Back off!
- Order, order.

Look out, Napoleon.

So now there's an
assassin loose in the city.

And if he finds his mark, the peace
of the world will be endangered.

Well, we're not absolutely certain
that it was an assassination attempt, sir.

The bomb was hardly
more than a firecracker.

Perhaps he threw it at the
chairman just to, uh, ruffle him a bit.

And thereby create a
rather nasty incident.

I see.

Well, so long as Chairman
Koz is a guest in this country...

we can't allow him to be killed,
or even ruffled, Mr. Kuryakin.

Especially now...

when his attitude towards the West
has undergone such a dramatic change.

He, um...

He speaks of
coexistence these days.

Friendship.

And who knows?

He may be sincere.

Any rate, we can't permit any
incident to alter his present views.

We're doing all we can, sir.

Intelligence has compiled a list of
all of his known enemies in the area...

and we have them
under surveillance.

Yes, I'm well aware of that.

Perhaps we should look
into some of his friends.

I gather not all of them are in favor
of his call for friendship with the West.

All right, gentlemen,
don't wait.

Oh, uh, one thing more.

Chairman Koz is very grateful
for your assistance today.

He is looking forward to
thanking you personally.

- Really?
- Yes. Really, Mr. Kuryakin, really.

For you, my
friend, in gratitude...

and in the name of
the People's Republic...

I present you with a Sergei
Prutkin Coexistence Award.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Mm, mm.

And to you, my friend...

I present the Elena
Prutkin Coexistence Award.

Ah. Mm, mm.

Oh, I should perhaps explain to you
that Elena Prutkin and Sergei Prutkin...

of the Workers' League...

died at the age of 105 and 103.

Oh, yes.

You know, they have
been married 87 years.

A record for coexistence.

Comrade chairman.

- Comrade chairman.
- Huh?

- Please, comrade chairman.
- Excuse me.

- What is it?
- Comrade chairman.

I do not trust these
two young men.

They are, after all, agents of a
decadent and corrupt society.

As chief of security, I...

Now, how can you learn anything
about a people and its culture, Maxim...

when every time you
see a non-party member...

you just jump like
it was a snake?

But comrade chairman...

Now, listen. Now, yesterday,
there was a foolish attempt to kill me.

- That's right, that's right.
- Now, who saved me?

You, Maxim? My
security chief? Hmm?

Or was it those
two young boys...

that I gave a Sergei
and Elena, huh?

I didn't come to this country
just for foolish arguments...

either with you
or the capitalists.

I came to learn all about agriculture,
education and consumer goods.

Even from a corrupt society.

Oh, yeah. Yes.

Speaking of the, uh,
consumer goods...

that store that had the
parade yesterday, uh...

- Macy's?
- Macy's, yes. Yes, I heard about that.

Uh, it is a very big store, no?

It's the largest
store in the world.

I'd like to see
that great citadel...

of bourgeois expectations
and the profit system, yes.

So we will go to Macy's.

Uh, well, chairman, I'm afraid
that might pose a security problem.

What? Security?

Uh, Macy's got a, uh,
military installation too?

Uh, what Mr. Solo means is that
it might be difficult to protect you.

That's what they said
about Disneyland. Ha-ha-ha.

Similar problem, large crowds. And
it's only a few weeks before Christmas.

Ha, Christmas again.

Maxim, enough.

Do you want me to be
happy in America, gentlemen?

Well, yes, we'd like that very much.
- Don't make me unhappy.

I got lots of trouble
from Mr. Radish.

- Well, so we go to Macy's, yes?
- Yes.

And of course with, uh, Mr. Macy
himself to conduct the tour.

Protocol.

Um, very pretty girl, uh.

What branch of the
service is she in?

Well, she's in a
special kind of army.

Collecting money for the poor.

Merry Christmas.

Ah, yeah, social security.

Uh, yeah, in a
manner of speaking.

Merry Christmas.

Twenty denjiks?

I must admit, Mr. Macy,
this is all very impressive.

I didn't realize you
had so much goods.

Oh, most of our stock is kept in warehouses
throughout the city, Mr. Chairman.

- What you see here are only floor samples.
- It's a lie.

I beg your pardon?

It's a lie. The whole thing is set
up for propaganda purposes only.

Ordinary working people
cannot afford things like this.

If we sold only to
the rich, Mr. Radish...

Macy 's would have gone
out of business long ago.

As a matter of fact, nearly
all the items we sell here...

are within reach of
the average family,

Ha, ha. A lot they care
about an average family.

Macy's cares a great
deal about all its customers.

Apparently, the
feeling is reciprocated.

You need only take a
sampling of housewives.

Hey, you. Are you an
average housewife?

Maxim, shut up.

Oh, will you please
excuse my friend, madam?

He's a little too full
of revolutionary zeal.

There anything particular
you'd like to see?

Oh, let me think. I've already seen
the tractors and the pneumatic drills.

- Oh, yes, one thing.
- Yes, sir?

Well, uh, it crossed my mind to
bring back a little gift for my wife.

Let it be our gift as well, Mr. Chairman.
Is there anything you have in mind?

Uh...

Mr. Chairman was impressed by
something we just passed upstairs.

A nightgown.

A frilly one, uh, with,
uh, I think, black lace.

- A... A nightgown?
- It was upstairs.

What's the matter, Maxim? Isn't
my wife entitled to a nightgown?

Humph.

Well...

Well, what do you
think? Nice, huh?

With our winter, she
will freeze to death.

Humph. Always the pragmatist.

I'll take it.

Well, may I ask what
size Madam Koz wears?

Well, uh, she about...

No, uh, maybe...

In our country, women are women.

Yes. You know, they're... Ahem.

- Excuse me.
- Hmm?

Um, I'd like to get
this heel repaired.

I think the shoe repair is
downstairs. Hello again. How are you?

- I beg your pardon?
- We don't really know each other...

but I noticed you when we
were coming in from outside.

- Oh, there's that man.
- Who?

- The one who caused all this trouble.
- What?

My broken heel. He's
the one who gave me...

Twenty... Twenty denjiks.

- Twenty denjiks.
- Mm-hm.

That's worth, at the current rate
of exchange, 50 cents in America.

- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

Um, you...

You say the basement?

Uh, basement, yeah.
That's downstairs.

Uh, tell me, isn't that
the social-security girl?

- Yes, sir.
- Oh, you will see her again.

- I will?
- Yes.

In my country, there's
an old folk rhyme:

The girl that you see
twice Within the same day

You will see her again
Before she goes away.

Well, uh, of course, it
loses a little bit in translation.

Mr. Chairman, this is what you might call
our planning room and center of operations.

This is especially true now,
with Thanksgiving behind us...

and Christmas dead ahead.

Now, I don't know how
familiar you may be...

with our Thanksgiving
Day Parade, but, uh...

- Mr. Chairman.
- Huh?

I don't know how
familiar you may be...

with our annual
Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Oh, well, the par... The
parade we saw yesterday.

Nice, very nice.

Parades, I know all
about. In my country...

- Who is that?
- Excuse me?

That, with the white beard and
the red suit and the big red nose.

Oh-ho-ho, you mean Santa Claus.

Actually, he's, uh, just
modeling the costume...

our Santas are going to wear.

- You're not ashamed, Mr. Macy?
- I...?

It is not enough in your
country that you exploit the poor?

You also have to have an
organized seduction of children, eh?

Maxim, enough, enough, you
sound like our newspaper editorials.

Uh, tell me, Mr. Macy...

but where do you get
these Santa Clauses?

Oh, from appropriate agencies.

I understand some of the stores get them
from a number of Santa Claus schools...

organized for the purpose.

Schools? MACY: Yes.

You see, our Santas have to
learn how to handle small children.

A Santa Claus school. Ha, ha.

That I gotta see.

I think that can be
arranged, Mr. Chairman.

Happy birthday, Mr. Chairman.

May I wish you many more
years of service to humanity.

Thank you, thank you.

That was thoughtful of
our pastry department.

- I do wish they told me about it...
- You didn't know about it?

No, I didn't know.

Uh, it was a surprise to me too.
Uh, I didn't know about the cake.

I'll have a piece anyway.

Don't touch that cake.

Something wrong, Radish. Aah.

Thanks.

Hey, stupid.

- Yes, comrade.
- You fish-head, you nothing.

- You failed again, eh?
- But...

You and your
lousy birthday cake.

But, comrade, you told me just...
Not to kill him. Just to frighten him.

You think your homemade
bombs could scare Georgi Koz?

The giant of the revolution,
the hero of the war...

the holder of a Medal of the
Motherland with 14 clusters?

Well, excuse me, comrade.

But the idea about the
bomb in the cake, it was yours.

So I'm a fish-head
too. Heh. Imagine.

Georgi Koz, the
Bear of the Balkans...

talking coexistence and listening
to the sly seductions of imperialists.

I tell you the man is
sick, sick, sick, sick.

Yes, Maxim, yes.

This kind of a sickness cannot
be cured with popguns' explosions.

This time, he must die.

Living in a dream world
of Santa Claus schools yet.

Has the man no
shame? Santa Claus...

Santa Claus.

Santa Claus, Santa
Claus, Santa, da, da, da

"Jingle Bells."

- Pifnic?
- Hmm?

It is possible I might
have the solution.

Yes?

Oh.

Yes, Maxim?

I'm sorry if I disturbed
you, Mr. Chairman.

Oh, it's all right. I was
just watching television.

- What they call a Western.
- Ha, ha.

- Ah, well, sit down, help yourself.
- Thank you.

Maxim, tell me, why can't
we make such movies?

You know something,
comrade chairman?

I've been thinking.

Oh? Well, it's never
too late, Maxim.

Thinking what, for instance?

Oh, many things, really.

How one lives and learns,
even if it takes a lifetime.

Hmm.

I never had your talent
for understanding history...

and people and their culture.

I get a feeling that somehow...

this is the true cornerstone
of your leadership.

That is no doubt true, Maxim.

You see, life is a book
that must be opened.

You have to use your
eyes and your ears...

and... And your common
sense with which you were born.

However little.

It is a pity that one must
learn those things so late in life.

Well, good night,
Mr. Chairman. Good night.

Oh.

When are you going to
visit the Santa Claus School?

- The what?
- The Santa Claus school, remember?

Oh, that. Ha, ha, ha.

Well, something I said
on the spur of the moment.

Oh, that's, uh... That's
ridiculous to bother.

Well, but that's just the point.

The way you get along
with people ordinary people.

Little people.

Yes, uh, I think I do
have talent for that.

And remember you said yourself
that, uh, you came over here to learn.

Uh-huh.

And maybe make new
friends for our system, eh?

Huh. Ha-ha-ha.

Ha. But it's so funny.

Georgi Koz at a school
for Santa Clauses.

You know, the idea is so ridiculous
that it is beginning to appeal to me.

Arrange it, Radish.

Oh, how I wish I come
along too so I could learn.

- But unfortunately...
- No, no, no, no, please.

No, I gotta go myself.
You know, the, uh...

There's a word like
that. Uh, "incognito," yes.

Because I'll learn that
way much more. Hmm.

- All by yourself?
- Yes.

- It could be dangerous.
- Ah.

Well, then, I'll go with
the U.N.C.L.E. people.

With those two nice guys. Hmm.

All right, I will arrange it. Uh,
when would you like to come?

- Tomorrow night.
- It will be done.

- Good night.
- Good night.

That, uh, old folk rhyme...

- I guess there's something to it.
- Yeah.

But there's another
old folk rhyme.

And it's got to do
with your next step.

Uh, if you'll forgive me, sir,
Mr. Napoleon here knows the next step.

- Can I help you?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, we're just looking.

That's how I'm getting,
uh, my education.

Hey, a thought just came to me.

I mean, if the guy's really
hard up with that accent...

he ought to be able to
pick up a few days' work...

at one of them Polish
jamborees on Long Island.

Well, that's a very
good idea, Mr. O'Reilly.

- How's your heel?
- My...?

Oh, it's you again.

It must be, uh, kismet.

And an old folk rhyme.

Would you like to sit down
and I'll give you some coffee?

- Thank you, thank you.
- Chairman?

That other car. That other car
should have been here already.

We'll synchronize
our watches, please.

It is exactly 8:24, 8:24.

Now, we'll go in six minutes.

I think we've made quite a
lot of good progress today.

But first, I want you to check over
some points from Mr. O'Reilly here...

who is, I'm always happy to
say, one of our finest students.

That's a fact.

You know, I was as much a down-and-out,
untouchable-type slob as any of you fellas.

Okay, Fred, wanna try again?

All right, come on, pal.

Let's try it again.

Well, this time, like your heart
is full of love and mistletoe...

and you're looking right into the
bright blue eyes of this poor little kid...

that's just standing
there, picking his nose.

So, what do you say?

Ho-ho-ho! Have you
been a good boy today?

"Ho-ho-ho"? What does
it mean, "ho-ho-ho"?

Hold it right there, buster.

Did anybody ask you to come in
here and tell us how to run the school?

Well, even a parrot with the
brains of a pigeon could do better.

No, a thing like this needs
fire. It needs spirit, it needs life.

How can you...? How can you think
that I can come to my 14 grandchildren...

and say, "Ho-ho-ho"?

I'll tell you how you can
come to your 14 grand...

Gentlemen, gentlemen, don't you think
we can discuss this a little more calmly?

Look, nobody asked you, mister.

- Now, listen, loudmouth.
- Yeah?

Since you know so much about this
racket, why don't you put on a suit?

Is he possibly addressing me?

I am possibly addressing you.

Put up or shut up.
All right now, come on.

You can change right
behind this curtain over there.

All right, now we will see
what we have learned...

from all those old gangster
movies you saw today.

Remember, this is
Operation Obliteration.

No survivors, no mercy. And above
all, please, please, no mistakes.

We go in... Aah! In
two and a half minutes.

Get ready, please.

Ho-ho-ho!

Now, my friends, I will show you
the way your Santa Claus should look.

Yes, please. Of course, if there
was such a person as Santa Claus.

Which is, of course, absolutely
ridiculous in a people's democracy.

Young lady, will you
please sit at my lap?

Ah, wait, uh,
just a minute, pal.

- I'll sit on your lap.
- You?

Yes, me. You just make
believe I'm a little boy.

Ha. Well, that would
be difficult, get off.

It would be much easier for me to
get in the mood with the young lady.

Oh, no, you don't.

She ain't gonna be
sitting in that lap of yours.

I had you figured right
from the beginning...

If you weren't such an
old man, I would just...

- Old man? Who you calling an old man?
- I would break your neck.

Why, I could take you if I
was lying on me deathbed.

All right, fatso, you
wanna be Santa Claus?

Yeah!

Well, come on, then. What
you need is a red nose.

How do you like that?

I think this moment
may go down in history.

He certainly looks
like Santa Claus.

Very red.

Murderers! Assassins!

Murderers, I defy you...
- Get down!

Traitors! Fascists!
Somebody give me a gun!

We gotta get him out of here.

- Those stairs, where do they go?
- To the rooftop.

Good, you two go.
We'll... We'll cover you.

- Go ahead. She'll take care of you.
- No, no, I'll stay here.

I will die with my boots on.

We've got an old folk rhyme too:

He who fights and runs away
Lives to fight another day.

- Now, go on.
- Just a minute.

You go on three.
You ready? One, two...

Go!

Keep them down, keep them pinned

down, I'll catch Koz
on the roof. Wait here.

You gangsters, sometimes
you make me sick.

Oh, Priscilla.

Oh, keep going, keep going.

Forget him, we're after
Koz. We'd better split up.

All right, you check
the roof, I'll take below.

It's hoodlums like you that make
the streets of this city unsafe.

And while I don't
like to say it...

well, you're a disgrace to
the uniform you're wearing.

Well, Priscilla...

Radish...

Radish was right.

Oh, for once, he was correct.

Listen, I came here in
friendship like a fat dove.

Ha, ha. I came here like
the pigeon to the foxes.

Like the rabbit to the snake.

- You saw how they tried to kill me.
- Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Yeah. Maybe at...

At Macy's or in front of Macy's.

Oh, my. Mr. Koz.

Yeah, Chairman Koz.

Can I...?

Would you like some coffee?

No, you got vodka?

Oh. No, sir.

We... We don't
exactly approve, sir.

Who cares what
they approve or not?

Don't you try and
bully me, Mr. Koz.

Oh, I'm so sorry, darling.

Aw.

You, of all people.

You know, that history will
remember you for saving my life...

from hands of the
capitalist assassins.

WOMAN: Priscilla.

- Murderers. Don't let them...
- It's only Mrs. Gropkin.

Priscilla, like an angel of mercy, would
you come and take a look at my boy?

All day long with chills
and fits of coughing.

Eleven handkerchiefs already.

I... I've tried everything
and nothing seems to help.

No, that is always
under the profit system.

- Pamper the rich and perish the poor.
- Never mind with the social messages.

Just... Just put your beard
back on. It could help my boy.

Who is this woman
that insults me?

I got no time for arguments.
I need all the help I can get.

- It could help, you know.
- Yeah.

Mr. Chairman?

I'm sorry, uh,
wrong Santa Claus.

Santa?

Who else would it
be? Say something.

Ho-ho-ho.

Are you real?

Real? Oh, you think it's a fake?

Now, my boy. Ahem.

There's something you
wanna ask Santa Claus, huh?

A favor? A present? You know.

Something that one of
my departments can get.

I'm going to die.

- What are you talking about?
- I know. That's why you're here.

When they know you're gonna
die, they send for Santa Claus early.

Never I heard anything
as foolish as that.

Not since the day when
my Central Committee...

Now, listen to me.

You're not going to die.
No, you're going to live.

And now, the only thing
you've got to do 24 hours a day...

just to get as strong as an ox.

Understand that?

Well, this is an order.

Goodbye.

Uh...

Dr. Sigmoid, my personal
physician, will be here...

to see the boy in the morning.

A Bowery dropout with
a personal physician?

- Priscilla, what kind of a nut...?
- I'll explain more, Mrs. Gropkin, later.

But he really does mean it.

These doctors, they can't
even tell me what the trouble is.

I know all about that
sickness and how to fight it.

Well, my son had
it many years ago.

- And he recovered?
- No.

Well, that's why my country spent millions,
so that other children would live.

- You were very kind, Mr. Koz.
- You ought to be ashamed.

Feeding myths to
defenseless children? Humph.

Christmas? Santa Claus?

If you would calm yourself
long enough to listen, Mr. Koz...

I'd be happy to tell you that
Christmas, in its actual meaning...

is something more profound and beautiful
than anything you've ever imagined.

It's about a child,
a Jewish baby...

- born not quite 2000 years ago.
- Well...

And I, for one, have
never believed it a myth.

If you don't mind, will
you please call my hotel?

I want to talk to Dr. Sigmoid.

- God will bless you.
- Never mind who will bless me.

And tell them to send a limousine to
take me from this mad nest of assassins.

Yes, Illya.

I trust you haven't had
any better luck than I have.

I think it's useless. They could have
gone down any one of a dozen fire escapes.

Then we'd better
call headquarters.

Mr. Waverly isn't
going to be very happy.

Right.

Is that all you can say in
defense of what happened?

- You lost him?
- I'm afraid so, sir.

I don't understand how the attack
on the machine could have happened.

- No one knew he was going to be there.
- Radish knew.

I would think you'd wanna
pursue that further, gentlemen.

In the meantime, Chairman
Koz is back in his hotel suite...

renouncing coexistence
at the top of his lungs.

And calling every citizen
of New York a fascist...

with the single exception
of one young lady.

And we know who that is.

I would suggest you call on Chairman Koz
directly and apologize for what happened.

- Now?
- Yes, now.

In the absence of efficiency, we
are compelled to resort to charm.

Oh, when tomorrow, I
address the general assembly...

of the United Nations, you
know, they will understand...

that I have had
coexistence up to here.

Not only to here, to here!

There can be no peace...

until the capitalist serpents
have been expelled...

from the garden of brotherhood.

Well, when I came
here, I came in friendship.

I offered my hands.
So, what did they do?

They tried to chew
it off, to the elbow.

Now, this, I tell you...

is the friendship of cannibals
and traitors and murderers!

See who it is.

Chairman Koz, we'd like to
tell you how happy we are...

that, uh, you survived that
unfortunate incident today.

It has been both our policy and
pleasure to protect you at all times...

Protect?

I could've gotten a better protection from
the starving tiger with two sets of teeth.

Protect?

If it wasn't for that sweet young
lady, I'd be dead just like our friendship.

- Oh, I think there's been, uh...
- Out!

A little misunderstanding
which we can correct.

Correct?

If you don't mind, why don't you
correct the fact I ever met you?

My young men, you better go
home and put your television on...

and listen to my speech.

If we had a cold war, now
you'll see we'll have a blizzard!

Out!

You heard what the
chairman said, out!

I'm afraid we've watched over
the chairman for the last time.

I think we should turn our
attention to Mr. Radish, hmm?

- Oh! Comrade Maxim?
- So you failed again, eh?

Please, please, comrade,
give me another chance, hmm?

That's why I'm here.

You will attach this beneath
Chairman Koz's limousine.

- It's a bomb.
- Yes, and it is not one of your toys.

Now, listen, Pifnic.
Tomorrow at 2:00...

Comrade Koz will leave his hotel
to address the United Nations.

- Yes, I know.
- He's supposed to arrive there 2:30.

The bomb is set up to
go off exactly at 2:15.

Broom, bo-boom!

And Comrade Koz will be history.

No use to worry, then,
about doctrinal purity, eh?

- Excuse me, comrade, a thought.
- Yes?

- I'm supposed to be driving the limousine.
- Oh, you? Oh, you.

You will be buried as a hero
of the revolution. Oh, yeah.

- Hmm, well, thank you, comrade.
- Mm-hm.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow,
my own day shall come.

I'm afraid not, Mr. Radish.

- You better don't move.
- I'm afraid so, Mr. Solo.

And your days and
the days of your friend...

are just about concluded.

You know, I've always been
very fond of turkey for lunch.

I don't think he's
going to take the hint.

- Ugh.
- What time is it?

Uh, it's exactly
2:00, my friends.

Uh, in 15 minutes...

we shall mourn the passing of my
dearest friend, Chairman Georgi Koz.

Go home, go home.

After you hear my speech,
you will not want my autograph.

Mr. Koz. Mr... Mr. Koz.

Let that young lady get through.

Mr. Koz, it's me, Priscilla.

- Ah.
- Mr. Koz, you gotta come with me.

Alex needs you. There's
no one else who can help.

- What happened?
- Alex Gropkin.

They... They think he's dying.

He... He won't take his
medicine without you.

Comrade chairman, excuse
me. It is three minutes after 2.

But this is Dr. Sigmoid's
department. I did what I could.

- I sent him to you.
- Dr. Sigmoid sent me to get you.

Yes, but the United
Nations is waiting, my dear.

For my speech, all
humanity is waiting.

A child is waiting, Mr. Koz.
Oh, but you people.

You talk about
humanity and people.

I'm talking about one
child. One little boy.

Correction, it is
four minutes after 2.

I... I'm sorry,
very sorry. Really.

You're going to be
sorrier if you don't come...

If you don't come with me.

It is now five minutes after 2.

I can see him now, my
old friend, Georgi Koz...

on his way to the
United Nations...

drinking in the roar of the
crowd like the wine of youth.

Mm-hm. The Bear of the Balkans
has become the Ham of the Balkans.

In less than 10 minutes, you couldn't
exchange him for a dried skin of a mouse.

It is now six minutes after 2.

What time's lunch?

Oh, anytime at all, Mr. Kuryakin.
At your pleasure, anytime.

Anytime at all, anytime at all.

When I say that it was all your
fault that Alex had this relapse...

I'm don't mean to suggest
that you intended it that way.

You're the one Saint Nicholas in
whom he has been truly able to believe.

Oh, yes, uh...

some people have
a talent with children.

Uh, what is the delay?

Why the Army can't clear
up the path through the street?

It is now 10 minutes after 2.

Hmm, as I mentioned before...

the time factor is
final, irreversible.

The device itself, no matter how
small, has the power to move mountains.

No, no less the
chairman's limousine.

It is now 11 minutes past 2.

Aah. It's too late, Georgi...

- Driver, what time do you have?
- The time?

It is 12 minutes after
2, comrade chairman.

In spite of all the good
your Dr. Sigmoid has done...

Alex's temperature is 103
and still climbing when I left.

Through it all, he kept calling
for that Santa Claus, meaning you.

Young lady, can't you
understand that this is...?

Well, all right, all right, I'll
do it after I finish my speech.

It will be too late.

All right, what is the address?

Oh, it's across town.

Turn around!

I... I can't, comrade chairman.

The traffic, it's all stuck.
- You fool.

Don't you understand that the
life of a small child is at stake?

- There's a subway, right over there.
- Driver, we're getting out.

I think I see the car.

The... My car?

Another 10 seconds and...

Oh, it's a good thing I
don't believe in miracles...

because if I did,
that was a miracle.

What are you doing?

This is my speech
for the United Nations.

I'm about to turn
off a blizzard.

Isn't that a miracle too?

All right, Alex, open
up your mouth, please.

Say "aah." ALEX: Aah.

That "aah" sounded
pretty good, Dr. Sigmoid.

Now, breathe deep.

Ah. Thank you.

I wish it was a mistletoe.

Oh, Mr. Solo, you are
a gay one, aren't you?

Only, uh, on holidays.

You started to tell me
about Radish and Pifnic?

Oh, yes.

At last report, they were stowed
away in the hold of a cargo vessel...

bound for their homeland.

Chairman Koz mentioned them
being in a poultry pen, I believe.

Your move.

Well, now, Alex,
you may get up now.

Put on your bathrobe,
enjoy the holiday.

He's gonna be all right?

All right? Ha! He's
going to be perfect.

Oh, Alex.

Did you hear, Priscilla?
He's gonna be all right.

Oh, that's wonderful.
I'm so happy.

- We're all, all very happy, Mrs. Gropkin.
- Thank you. Thank you.

You're a wonderful doctor.

I only wish you had your
practice on the East Side.

Believe me, I don't
know how to thank you.

Not me, Mrs. Gropkin.
Just thank Chairman Koz.

His visit to Alex,
that was the thing.

You don't think I'd love
to thank him. But how?

I read in the papers
he's going home today.

Ho-ho-ho!

- Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
- Oh!

Merry Christmas, everybody.

- Oh, Mr. Koz.
- Merry Christmas, children. Here.

- Oh, Mr. Koz.
- Chairman Koz.

Well, uh, if you want to call me
Mr. Koz, you call me Mr. Koz. Ha-ha-ha.

Alex, he's gonna be all right.

Well, naturally. Didn't I
tell you? Merry Christmas.

- Oh!
- Alex, my boy, Alex, come here.

This is all for you.

Ah-ha-ha, you'll find wonderful
things here. Sit down, my boy.

Merry Christmas.

Uh, Mr. Macy.

Uh, Mr. Macy, what I
told at the United Nations...

all about friendship
and coexistence...

you know, it can get me into a
quite little trouble in my country.

Well, so if I will lose
my job over there...

can I be a Santa
Claus at Macy's?

Ha. Anytime,
Mr. Chairman. Anytime at all.

Wonderful.

Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.