All language subtitles for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. S03E05 The Monks of St. Thomas Affair

- How is it?
- Very inferior mustard.

Oh, perhaps I should have
stopped at the taco stand.

Mm.

Twenty minutes ago,
I'm sitting on the terrace...

of a lovely restaurant
overlooking the East River.

Yes, there's a very nice
view from there. I've seen it.

Violins are playing...

opposite me in a black dress
that leaves little to the imagination...

is a perfectly
gorgeous creature.

Yeah, Wanda. I've seen her too.

- She's all right.
- Stop interrupting.

The wine steward has just filled my
glass with an exquisite Beaujolais...

Maison des Sts. Peres, 1947.

And I have just cut in to
a Chateaubriand steak...

when beep, beep, beep.

"Mr. Solo? Mr. Waverly."

There's a can of root beer
in the glove compartment.

Mm. Thank you.

You've made my evening.

Felton Avenue, it should
be around here somewhere.

I think it's up in
the next block.

That's the number.

Channel D, please.

WAVERLY: Yes, Mr. Solo?

We're at 14432 Felton.

The house is dark and
there's no sign of trouble.

I wanted to make sure
we have the right number.

You have.

Dr. Lambert must be there.

I spoke to him about 10
minutes ago on the telephone.

I suggest you check further.

Probably goes on automatically.

After all, he's a scientist,
one of his inventions.

Remind me to tell
him to shut it off.

It was Thrush all right.

We saw them in the car
when they went by us.

The man behind
the wheel was Dolby.

Hmm.

Too bad Dr. Lambert didn't contact
you sooner. He might still be alive.

He was dead before you arrived.

As you would be now...

if you hadn't had the
foresight to soak your clothing.

Oh, yeah. It was nothing.

Well, nevertheless,
it saved your lives.

You know, I wonder
why they didn't take this.

It was right there in the
laboratory, they didn't even touch it.

Look at it. It's case-hardened
steel, half an inch thick.

That tiny beam of light goes through it
as easily as a bullet through soft butter.

Well, Mr. Solo, this
device is only a model.

Dr. Lambert was working on a new
beam far more deadly than the laser.

I suspect that's
what they were after.

With all the destruction,
there's no telling

what they could've
taken, if anything.

What puzzles me is, what's all this
doing in Dr. Lambert's laboratory?

Looks like bottle glass.

Maybe they were having a drink.

Dr. Lambert was a
teetotaler, Mr. Kuryakin.

This contains something more
than ordinary libation, I can tell you.

Yes, Aquitine,
gentlemen. Aquitine.

Now, some may insist that Chartreuse or
Benedictine is the finest of fine liqueurs.

But I say that the
choicest of them all...

is that made by the monks
of the Order of St. Thomas...

at their monastery high
up in the Swiss Alps.

And it's Aquitine.

I take it, sir, that you think
that there is some connection...

between Aquitine and Thrush.

I should certainly
hope not, Mr. Kuryakin.

But I am a bit
concerned, though.

It so happens that I'm a friend
of long-standing of Abbot John...

the head of the monastery.

A while back, he wrote to me
indicating that something was wrong.

I answered immediately
and heard nothing more.

That's why, Mr. Solo,
I'd like you to look into it.

Oh, me? Go to a monastery?

Why not?

Might be good for your soul.

Uh, yes. I think you're right.

Meanwhile, Mr. Kuryakin, you'll go after
the two men who murdered Dr. Lambert.

Yes, sir.

- Oh, uh, Mr. Solo.
- Hmm?

As long as you're going
to be at St. Thomas...

you might pick me up a
case of Aquitine, will you?

Yes. Yes, I'd be delighted.

Stop! Stop! No, no!

Heel! No, darling!

Stop! Stop! No, no, no!

Keep it. Trophy of the chase.

Like the brush of
the fox, you know.

I am terribly sorry, sir.

They are trained to rescue
travelers, not to harm them.

What happened to their little barrels
of brandy? They drink it themselves?

They are overfriendly,
that is all. Out of practice.

Since the new tunnel has been
built, they meet so few travelers.

Brother Peter.

By whose order do
you exercise the dogs?

Forgive me... Silence.

As punishment, you shall
forego your evening meal.

Ah, you must be Abbot John.

I'm Abbot Simon.

What is your business here?

Well, no business, really, I
was just in the neighborhood.

I thought I'd come up and
pay my respects to Abbot John.

He's a friend of a friend.

Besides, I'm fond of Aquitine.

I'm sorry.

Abbot John is no longer with us.

And we don't allow visitors.

I've found it affects the
discipline within our community.

Brother Peter,
lock up the beasts.

Aquitine. Thank you.

Trans World
Airlines, Flight 174...

Porter, over here.

For St. Louis and Cleveland
will depart from Gate 3.

- Passengers may proceed for check-in.
- Thank you.

As you can tell,
I'm at the airport.

They've just booked
passage for Zurich.

Zurich, Mr. Kuryakin?

Oh, that's very interesting.

The St. Thomas
Monastery is quite close by.

They have two
suitcases, both very heavy.

I haven't had a chance to
tell what's inside them yet.

Well, please do. Those
suitcases may be important.

- Check them immediately.
- Yes, sir.

- I can't, sir.
- Why not?

They've just been
checked through.

Really, Mr. Kuryakin,
get aboard that plane.

- What are you waiting for?
- Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, sir, that plane is booked
solid. How about our next flight?

No, uh, no, thank you.
That will be too late.

- Oh, good evening, Mr. Solo.
- Good evening. May I have my key, please?

Retiring so early? The
entertainment is just beginning.

Well, I had mine
already. Thank you.

A long walk up
the Alps. And down.

But why can't you put me
through to the Vatican, operator?

The Father General of
the Order of St. Thomas.

All right, so get
me the Vatican.

But, operator, you don't understand.
I have tried the monastery.

Oh, please,
operator, it's urgent.

Why don't you just tell them
that I'm the niece of Abbot John?

What do you mean it's too late?

This is utterly ridiculous.

You'd think somebody would
be on duty in a place like that.

- Poor Mademoiselle Fouchet.
- The Vatican?

She says her uncle was
abbot at the monastery.

Now they cannot find him.

- Oh? Good night.
- Good night.

Miss Fouchet, excuse
me. I'm Napoleon Solo.

I'm staying here at the inn and
I... You have a little problem?

It's personal.

I don't discuss personal
business with strangers.

Could I interest you in a bottle of
Aquitine? Or a man named John?

Abbot John.

Who are you?

Do you always listen in on
personal telephone calls?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, telephone
conversations, monasteries, keyholes.

What's the matter?

Is Abbot John really your uncle?

Of course he is.

Hmm.

I've had a little visitor.

You're a detective, aren't you?

I don't discuss my personal
business with strangers.

Would you?

That's a 15 and a half, 33.

No. Looks more like a
16 and a half, 34 to me.

I'm sorry. I meant to help.

Well, they got away,
jumped off the balcony.

Sorry.

I broke it, didn't I?

Speaking of help.

That's my Uncle
John's handwriting.

Thank you.

I have her dossier
now, Mr. Solo.

Yes, she checks out.

Andrea Fouchet, resident
of Geneva, Switzerland.

Her family is quite prominent.

They manufacture cheese.

Ah, Swiss, I presume.

No, as a matter
of fact, Gruyère.

And she is related
to Abbot John?

Well, she's his niece.

His favorite relative, in fact.

Thank you very much.
That's what I was interested in.

Oh, and, uh, Mr. Solo.

You'll try and remember
not to forget the, uh...

I won't. Aquitine, a case.

Uh, would you also like
some cheese to go with it?

Here she comes.
I'll keep in touch.

Lovely day, isn't it?

Lovely day for a
walk up a long hill.

It just doesn't make any sense.

Why would anyone
want to harm Uncle John?

He's so kind and gentle.

Why, he never hurt a fly.

It may come as a shock to you...

but that's the type that
makes the perfect victim.

What exactly did they
tell you at the monastery?

Well, just that he
wasn't there anymore...

and that he had been removed
by order from the Father General.

- The new abbot told you this?
- Abbot Simon.

You know, the minute I
saw that man, I didn't like him.

It was like a cold chill
ran right through me.

Well, I wasn't exactly
warmed by his welcome.

I don't think he's too
popular with the monks.

- Brother Peter seemed...
- The monks?

Why, they're terrified of him.

Why, the last time I was
there, everything was so sweet.

The brothers were happy
and jolly and so full of life.

But those that I saw the other
day, they're not happy anymore.

They're just plain frightened.

- Tired?
- Just a little.

We're just about halfway there.

I still think it's foolish to go
back to the monastery again.

We should have
gone to the police.

What, and give up this
nice walk in the sunshine?

But Simon, he'll never
let us in, you know that.

Well, I've occasionally entered
places where I wasn't invited.

Though I must say a
monastery isn't one of them.

You are a detective,
aren't you, Mr. Solo?

Napoleon.

Uh, yes, in a
manner of speaking.

Well, what is it exactly
that you're after?

Among other things,
a case of Aquitine.

- One moment, please.
- Oh, I have two suitcases.

And I'm rather in a hurry.
If I could get them now...

First, they must
clear custom, sir.

The regular procedure.
Inside, if you please.

Is this Zurich?

Yes.

I was frozen inside there.
There was no heating.

Is this any way
to run an airline?

Oh, that's very
amusing, monsieur.

But my problem is
they treat me like a child.

Who?

My parents.

They keep insisting
I marry Adolf.

- Who?
- Adolf.

Oh, he's not so bad.
We grew up together.

His family makes cheese
and my family makes cheese.

Well, it sounds like a merger.

It's like curds and whey.

He's, you know, how
you say, he's square.

He's not with it.

If you mention the Beatles
to him, he thinks of insects.

Well?

Well, you know,
Uncle John is like me.

He's a 60-year-old monk
and he digs, you know?

And that is why I
have to see him.

He's the head of our
family and he'll listen.

What's that?

Couple of monks.

Well, how do you
know they're monks?

Their robes.
Elementary, my dear.

Timber.

What's going on here?
There's no game around here.

I suspect he knows it.

You mean, he's
deliberately shooting at us...

to keep us from the monastery?

Yeah, somebody up
there doesn't like us.

Well, do something. Think.

I am thinking.

Wait.

I don't know. Personally, I prefer
something a little brighter, no?

Put it back.

Now, you, get in the car.

Open Channel D.
Kuryakin reporting.

Thrush agents have new
model cathode tubes...

presumably stolen
from Dr. Lambert.

The size suggests a device
more powerful than any yet known.

You two, come here!

Not you. You!

Speak. I give you permission.

Speak. What
happened to your habits?

We don't know, Reverend Father.

We put them aside
because of the heat.

And when to returned,
they were gone.

All right, you may
be gone yourselves.

And remember, you have
committed the sin of carelessness...

and you will do penance.

I would think our flock
has increased by two.

Lock the gate.

Excuse me, I'd like to write to
Abbot John, I've lost the address.

Could you, uh...?

I'm sorry, I really
very much like to...

I beg your pardon, brother...
- Shh.

I'm sorry. Oh, Peter. It's
nice to see a friendly face.

I got the message in the bottle.

You remember me,
the hat and the Aquitine?

Please, Abbot John, can't
you tell us where he is?

This is Abbot John's
niece. Where is he?

Ugh.

Aquitine?

Ew.

Not yet.

But when the secret
formula is added, it will be.

- He talked.
- Oh, now it is noon.

The morning vow
of silence is over.

I told you that hourglass
was fast, Brother Paulus.

It must be the
sand. It is too fine.

Oh, I am so glad you have
come. I prayed and prayed.

Where is Uncle
John? Is he all right?

Yes, yes.

Oh, it is terrible, what has been
happening. You have no idea.

Such punishment has
been visited upon us.

And upon Abbot John.

Oh, not that we
wish not to suffer.

On earth, all suffer. In
heaven, we shall get our reward.

- Please.
- Where is he?

- Where?
- Where is he? A prisoner?

Uh, yes, yes. We
are all prisoners.

Oh, it was so peaceful before.

And then, like a pestilence,
the new abbot, Abbot Simon...

Abbot Simon.

A weapon.

And a woman in a monastery.

You've come to steel
our formula, haven't you?

Our precious
formula for Aquitine.

That is a grave
transgression, you know.

And it will not go unpunished.

WAVERLY: Kuryakin? Come in.

Yes, sir?

I haven't been able to
establish contact with Mr. Solo.

Have you heard from him?

Well, I'm in his room now.

There's no sign of him.

Nobody's seen him since he
and the girl left this morning.

I see.

Well, now, pay close
attention, Mr. Kuryakin.

It's, uh, 11 a.m. where
you are now, correct?

Correct.

- At 5 p.m., the Louvre
will go up in flames.

The Louvre?

Yes, the Louvre
and everything in it.

Priceless works of art.

Mona Lisa, Venus
de Milo, everything.

I'm leaving for
Paris immediately.

Thrush? WAVERLY: Yes.

Thrush sent word here. Let me
give you the exact phraseology.

"At 5 p.m., Paris
time, this date...

we will burn the Louvre to the ground
as evidence of our new power to destroy.

Signed, Thrush."

"New power to destroy"?

That must refer to
those cathode tubes.

It's a pity you weren't
able to intercept them.

You sure that Thrush
aren't bluffing, sir?

Thrush seldom
bluffs, Mr. Kuryakin.

That weapon must be
found and destroyed.

And by 5:00, please.

Even sooner, if
you can manage it.

Napoleon.

- Where are you?
- You'll never guess.

In the belfry of St. Thomas.

I'm sorry I couldn't answer you,
but, uh, we we're all tied up here.

Don't bother filling me in, I was
listening to you and Mr. Waverly.

I got it all.

Uh, hang on. Here they come.

What's that?

You know very well
what it is, Mr. Solo.

It's Dr. Lambert's ray gun.

I'm just checking,
for the record.

Brilliant scientist,
Dr. Lambert.

Brilliant. Too bad.

But Thrush is happy to make
use of what he has left behind.

Do you know why we
chose this particular spot?

Because of its location.

From this belfry...

we have a direct line of fire
to half the capitals of Europe.

Direct?

Oh, perhaps you haven't heard the
latest theory that the Earth is round.

And light beams
travel in a straight line.

I'm surprised at you, Mr. Solo.

I was certain that you were
familiar with Einstein's discovery...

that light is bent by gravity.

Oh, that's right.

It slipped my mind.

It didn't slip
Dr. Lambert's mind.

He discovered a way of creating
a gravitational force field...

that bends light rays
to any desired angle.

It's really quite simple.

With this, we can kill a fly on the head of
the prime minister at 10 Downing Street.

Or wipe the smile off
the face of the Mona Lisa.

Then you already
know about the Louvre.

Then you can imagine how busy we're
going to be for the next couple of hours.

Sorry you won't be watching,
but we're a bit crowded here.

Take them away.

It's 4:00.

So you really think
they'll go through with it?

Well, a lot can
happen in an hour.

My parents, they must be
worrying about me by now.

And Adolf.

It... Oh.

The one who thinks that
the Beatles are insects?

Poor Adolf.

He really loves
me, you know that?

Well, that's understandable.

And he is sweet.

You know, you don't
have to swing to be sweet.

I'm sure he is.

Do you know what he
gave me for my birthday?

An assortment of cheese.

A 2-pound box.

I guess you don't think
that's very romantic.

Hmm, on the contrary,
it's the symbol of a merger.

A personal merger...

that would make him
very happy, I'm sure.

Oh, you're right.

That does make it
romantic, you see?

Of course it does, Andrea.

I never realized it before
until a moment ago.

One never does
until it's too late.

Andrea, listen to me.

Everything is going to be...

So now I know that I love him...

and he's never even kissed me.

I'm going to die in one hour
and I've never even been kissed.

- Napoleon?
- Hmm?

Will you kiss me?

What's that?

S.O.S. Help.

It must be Uncle John.

- Yeah.
- Uncle John!

It must be.

All right, I've got a little
button under my lapel here.

See if you can bite it out.

- Got it?
- Uh-huh.

- Okay, pull it out.
- Unh.

That's good.

Now, let me get that
little tab that's sticking out.

That's good. Oh, yeah.

Now, pull back very
slowly. Pull it back.

Very slowly.

All right. There, now
let it loose like that now.

When I say three,
let it drop, all right?

- Uh-huh.
- Be very careful.

One, two, three. Drop.

- Hmm.
- What is it?

Well, if it's what
our lab says it is...

- Everything is secure?
- Yes, sir.

To make sure it stays that way, I
think you'd better get out of those robes.

From now until we fire at
the Louvre, we'll be very busy.

The range is 1342
kilometers gross.

Thirteen hundred
forty-two kilometers gross.

Plus 0.2024 fine.

Plus 0.2024 fine.

Azimuth, one minute, five
seconds from true horizon.

Azimuth, one minute, five
seconds from true horizon.

Force field build up,
five seconds prior.

Force field build up,
five seconds prior.

Information data complete.

Twenty minutes to go.

Uncle John. JOHN: Child.

How on earth did you
manage to find me?

Uncle John, this is Napoleon
Solo from U.N.C.L.E.

Oh, I should never
have written that note.

Now I've put you and
Andrea in jeopardy too.

Don't worry, Uncle John.
Napoleon will get us out of here.

How did they
manage to take over?

Oh, it was all quite proper.

That Simon had a letter...

from the Father General
of our order in Rome.

Even the official seal.

All forged, of course.

Thrush is very adept at that.

No, no, Mr. Solo.
There's a better way.

These walls are honeycombed
with secret passages.

Let me.

Once I find the right...

Wait.

Yes.

Go in.

Which way is the belfry?

This way.

- You rang the wrong bell.
- Not me, you.

D major seventh. Sorry.

What is the world coming to?

The abbot will be furious.

I'm, uh, looking for a man
about my height with a girl.

- Oh, yes, yes. They are here.
- Where?

Poor things. Really,
it is all my fault.

- And mine.
- No, no. I talk too much.

I talk and I talk
and I go on talking...

All right, you.

Remind me, I talk too much.

You talk too much.

This way.

Well, Kuryakin, isn't it?

So we meet again.

You want him in with the others?

There's no time.
Tie him over there.

I'm sure you'll be interested
in this, Mr. Kuryakin.

I can hardly wait.

You won't have to.

At 5, the Louvre.

At five after 5, you
and your friends.

I'm sorry, Mr. Solo.

I'm afraid we are lost.

Five minutes to 5.

Five to 5.

Call it off, Simon.

Sorry, Kuryakin.

The American tourists will have
to find someplace else to visit.

This must be the
belfry. I'm certain.

I'm sorry.

Let me try this time.

- Where are you going?
- There's one entrance I do know about.

The way we were
taken into that dungeon.

Forty-seven seconds.

If I remember correctly...

it takes 20 seconds for the
bells to ring the quarter hours...

then they ring the hour.

Fire it on the final bell.

See, my dear. I
knew I'd the find the...

Glad you could join us.

I got so engrossed in finding it, I
forgot what would happen when we did.

Just in time.

No!

No! Can't you do something?

Napoleon, look out!

Napoleon.

Father, we ask pardon.

- Pardon?
- We struck a man.

- I struck him.
- I would have struck the next.

- Oh, no, you...
- Peace, peace.

You are both absolved.

All right, Simon, stop ringing.

Curfew's over.

I must say, gentlemen...

there at 10 seconds to 5,
we were feeling concerned.

Even the Mona Lisa's
smile seemed a bit wan. Ha.

I'm sorry about that. Perhaps
this will make up for it, though.

Hmm?

What's this?

Ah, yes.

Yes, indeed.

Well, how much do I owe you?

No, it's with Abbot
John's compliments.

Also, he would be honored if
you would attend the wedding.

The wedding? What wedding?

Andrea's. She's
going to marry Adolf.

And we're sure they're
going to be very happy.

Yes, delighted.
Delighted to attend.

Did you, uh, have any difficulty
getting through the customs?

Ah, no, we, uh, claimed
diplomatic immunity.

- Good.
- We kept them on ice all the way, sir.

Ice?

Aquitine on ice?

Oh, no, gentlemen, gentlemen.

You know better
than that, surely.

Especially you, Mr. Solo.

One never puts a
fine liqueur on ice.

And Aquitine is the
finest of fine liqueurs.

Oh, well.

Ah, not bad. Not bad at all.

Aquitine on ice.

Well, gentlemen,
you've done it again.