All language subtitles for Sister Boniface Mysteries-S01E08

And we just run around the
inside of the bowl there.

Prunella Gladwell,

the nation's most
glamorous housewife

has become an inspiration
to women across the country

with her no nonsense
approach to cooking.

Lovely,
but what I want you to do, Azad

is to start putting two teaspoons,
two teaspoons.

Azad gets very nervous sometimes,

as do I in front of all of you.

And that's the way and
we're going to be making

some nice cocoa macaroons

and you give this a
very good beating.

You can see why it's
called a good beating.

And now after
years of teaching our ladies

how to make the perfect sponge,

England's Queen of the Kitchen
is touring the country,

judging cookery
competitions for the WI

as part of her brand new
television programme.

So keep your eyes peeled, ladies,

as well as your potatoes,

because Prunella could be
coming to your town next.

♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪

♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪

Sorry to interrupt,

would you mind?

Oh.

To Cynthia.

Of course.

Thank you.

Now remember,

smiles,

grace,

decorum.

Oh, thank you for joining us, Sister,

you're a godsend, quite literally.

Honestly, half these women
don't know their creme brulee

from their petits fours.

We can hear you.

Happy to lend my culinary skills.

Cooking is just chemistry, after all.

Your attempt at rock cakes
was more like geology.

Poor Sister Clemon needed
a new set of dentures.

Yes, well,
on that occasion, I must admit

I did indulge in
some experimentation.

This time, however,
I will be following the recipe

to the letter.

Here they come.

No slouching, big smiles.

We supposed to curtsey as well?

You're ruining the moment.

Our fairest queen,
the nation's treasure

and my lady wife, Prunella Gladwell.

Good afternoon, ladies.

I thought she'd be taller.

I'm Hilary,
president of the Great Slaughter WI.

Thank you so much for
accepting our invitation.

Hilary Fenshaw?

I wondered if you'd recognise me.

Good Lord.

Hello, James.

Your letter said Hilary Rhodes.

Married name.

Where is the lucky gent?

Yet another business trip,

perils of being married to a CEO.

Well, you've certainly
come a long way.

I've always imagined you

married to an accountant in Slough.

I thought we could catch
up after the recording,

take a stroll down Memory Lane?

Sadly, I'll be shooting
off to another engagement,

but it's been nice to
see you again, Hilary.

No chance of anyone passing
off a shop bought cake

as their own in front of the
camera, is there, Gladys?

Oh, here we go.

Now is not the time to bring up

last year's Bakewell tart debacle.

I am a god-fearing woman,
I am not a cheater.

Ssh, ladies.

Three, two.

Welcome to the beautiful grounds

of St. Vincent's Convent,
Great Slaughter

and the seat of another
nail biting competition.

This week,
the ladies have chosen to make

one of my devilish desserts,
but who will have what it takes

to whip up a concoction
to my exacting standards?

Ladies, introduce yourselves.

Hilary Rhodes,
caramelised peaches and cream cake.

Vera Clam, lemon macaroons.

Gladys Tibbs,
berries galore blackcurrant gateau.

Sister Boniface,
almond and honey sponge.

Cynthia Piper,
chocolate truffle layer cake.

Dorothy Thimble, um...

Buttercream banana cake.

Cream cheese carrot cake.

As always,
there's only 60 minutes on the clock.

After all, if you spend all
day making a single dessert,

when will you find
time to clean the house

or do the laundry?

I always like the
house spick and span

and all my shirts
starched and ironed.

Luckily we have help,
otherwise you'd be stuffed.

At your service, madam.

And for the winner,
a cash prize of 50 pounds.

Azad, start the clock.

These aren't carrots.

I'm making a banana cake.

Oh! Are you nervous, dear?

Don't worry, there'll only be

about 10 million people watching.

You clod, Azad!

Sorry, madam, I-I didn't see the-

Honestly,
you can't get the help these days.

Beat it like you mean it, Sister.

Was there an earthquake?

I-I get so clumsy when I'm nervous.

The ones I make at home always
turn out lovely.

Well, let's just pray that it
tastes better than it looks.

See you've had a little problem
with your ganache there.

Um. Thank you.

Hm.

Yeah.

I think this belongs to you.

Now, what do we have here?

Cut, problem.

Take 15 minutes, everyone.

Leave the tent,
until we call you back.

Miss Gladwell, Ruth Penny, "Albion Bugle."

I was hoping you could spare a
few moments for an interview?

Didn't you get the press release?

I'd like to do something
a little more in depth,

a profile piece,
really explore the issues.

Issues?

You're one of those.

One of what?

A feminist.

And what if I am?

Do you really want to
go head to head with me?

Oh, I'm game, if you are.

I'll see if I can fit
you into my schedule.

I'd be so grateful.

Obviously I'll be cutting
out your remark about Azad.

What remark?

Demeaning him on national television.

What's gotten into you?

I'll decide how I talk to the help.

You said you were going
to follow the recipe

to the letter.

And so I did, I was certain
I'd struck the right balance

between emulsifiers,
globular proteins and leavening agents.

Well, you leavened it alright.

It's most befuddling.

Mother Adrian, I don't understand,

while Sister Boniface
has many talents,

we both know cooking
ain't among them.

We can wave goodbye to
that 50 pound prize money.

Oh, Sister Boniface will win

a prize more valuable than money,

humility, a quality
she is sorely lacking.

♪ Ah ah ah ♪

Go on, Colin,

gobble it all up.

Oh, I just came to
get my asthma inhaler.

God-fearing woman?

Like you don't want to win.

On my own merits,
not by stooping to underhand methods.

What's going on?

She's finishing her cake.

Gladys, get away from your station.

- I was just-
- I don't want to hear it.

If you two continue
with this childish feud,

I'll have you both
suspended from the WI.

Oh.

We're back, reset.

Ah, what have we here?

So much for regal grandeur.

Cat got your tongue, dear?

Well, let's see if it
passes the taste test.

What's happening to your face?

I beg your pardon?

What's wrong with my face?

You're a demon, a d-devil!

Oh, Lord, are you alright?

Uh!

We'd better lift her up,
before she chokes.

Um, yes.

She's dead.

What a way to go,

face first, you said?

With an audible splat.

Heart attack?

Well, that wouldn't
explain the hallucination.

She saw Prunella
turning into a demon.

To be fair,
the woman can be a bit of a dragon.

I don't think she
meant it as a metaphor

and while I can't completely
rule out demonic possession,

it would be unscientific
not to explore

medical and pharmacological
explanations first.

Poison.

Oh, that's a distinct possibility.

How long is this going to take?

I mean,
I don't want to be insensitive,

but we're on a tight schedule.

Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gladwell.

My grandmother is a huge fan.

That's delightful.

As I was saying-

Yeah, it could be days, I'm afraid.

You think it was foul play?

Did anyone see Mrs. Tibbs
eat anything before she died?

We'll need to see the
footage from today's filming.

If we can't finish it today,
we won't have enough time

to edit it for broadcast on Saturday.

Telephone Jerry,
tell him one of the contestants

has popped their clogs

and we're just going to
have to remount it live.

Come on.

Heaven forbid anyone
should accuse her

of being insensitive.

She's our national treasure,
you know.

Beloved by millions.

Your country never fails to puzzle me.

So who might want
to kill poor Gladys?

Was there any
animosity between her

and the other contestants?

Ah.

And as for you,

I make sure to give you
the best cuts of meat

and this is how I'm repaid.

I knew it.

You'll be eating nothing but tripe

for the next six months,

that's assuming I
don't evict you both

- by the end of the day.
- What?

You can't do that.

The tenancy agreement clearly
states you must give us

at least one month's
notice before you can.

No one is getting evicted.

Look, Mrs. C, your altercation
with Gladys was reported

and we are duty bound
to follow it up.

Look, obviously the
notion that an upstanding,

churchgoing woman such as
yourself is responsible is,

it's unthinkable.

We're merely trying to
establish the timeline

for the hours before her death.

Can you tell us what
your argument was about?

Ghastly woman,
a brazen liar and a shameless Jezebel.

Don't write that down.

I caught her cheating,

she reentered the tent
to finish her cake

and afterwards to
add insult to injury,

she had the unmitigated cheek
to accuse me of sabotage.

Sabotage?

It was just before we
started filming again.

What have you done to my gateau?

I beg your pardon?

The crown and you've
added extra blackcurrants.

Nonsense, I haven't touched it.

Quiet please.

I mean,
the woman was quite deluded.

I mean, why on earth would
I put extra blackcurrants

onto her cake?

Sister Boniface,
will you be gracing us

with your presence at,!

Oh, no.

Colin!

I'm so sorry, Reverend
Mother Adrian,

I found him floating
dead in the pond.

And decided to dissect
him, to desecrate his body?

Well, I needed to
find out where the-

You've gone too far this time,

your devotion to scientific inquiry

has blinded you to the sacred.

I insist you hand over
that fish this minute.

With respect, Reverend Mother,

I'm not blind to the
sanctity of Colin's life,

I'm trying to find out who ended it.

Who?

Well, it's just a hypothesis,

but I believe that whoever
killed Gladys also killed Colin

and it's only through
scientific inquiry,

that I can help bring
the killer to justice.

And afterwards, perhaps,
well, I've always fancied

trying my hand at a
spot of taxidermy, so.

Don't push your luck, Sister.

What is...

Belladonna,
I found identical berries

in what was left of Gladys' cake.

I believe the killer contaminated it,
a few of the berries

somehow finding their
way into the pond.

Poor Colin never had a chance.

Colin?

Oh yes, Reverend
Mother's favourite carp.

Right, well, I'll be sure to add

Colin's untimely
death to the charges.

Mrs. Clam told us the cake
had been tampered with

after the break in filming.

But whoever did it didn't know,

that Gladys was going to eat it.

Which leads us to a new hypothesis.

Prunella Gladwell was
the intended victim.

But as the tide's turning
on women's rights,

aren't you afraid that your
brand of social conservatism

will turn you into a bit of a,

well, forgive me for
saying, but a relic?

I'm sorry, dear,
I could barely hear you

above your agenda and quite frankly,

if traditional values are
going to become a relic,

this country is doomed.

But when those values
subjugate an entire section-

Do I look subjugated to you?

Found the culprit, Inspector?

Can I talk to you in private, please?

Culprit?

Peggy told me the cause
of yesterday's death

hadn't yet been determined.

I'll be releasing an official
statement later today.

Well, you know I'm
not interested in official.

So you know each other?

Your intrepid reporter
was just telling me,

that she believes in strong women

asserting their
dominance over men.

- That's not at all what I-
- Yet here you are

practically throwing
yourself at one of them

- for a story.
- I'm not throwing at him.

Our relationship is
strictly professional.

- Completely ridiculous.
- That was easy.

Murder in the WI,
I have to say, I'm not surprised.

It's a hotbed of intrigue.

Meaning?

In private, please?

Can you think of anyone
who might want to harm you?

Mrs. Gladwell?

What's going on?

Someone's trying to kill me.

What?

Who?

Did you argue with anyone yesterday?

I didn't ruffle any more
feathers than usual.

Prunella doesn't suffer fools.

Ah, one moment.

The production assistant
saw three other people

entering the tent in
addition to Mrs. Clam,

Hilary Rhodes and the victim.

One contestant, Cynthia Piper,

Prunella's assistant, Azad Verma

and her husband.

Yeah?

- Good work.
- Something else,

the cameraman saw Prunella and
Azad arguing during a break.

Huh, she didn't mention that.

Let's go and see
what Azad has to say.

I mean, you don't even know

if belladonna grows
on the convent.

I mean, the killer could have
brought it in from outside.

Well, belladonna's a herbaceous
perennial, quite common,

I'd be surprised if it
didn't turn up somewhere.

Oh, the leaves!

Bingo!

And look, here's where
the killer picked them.

Aye, aye, what's this?

A clue, I feel
quite like Sherlock Holmes.

Bravo, Sisters, your
assistance has been invaluable,

but since this is
now a crime scene,

if you wouldn't mind just, um...

Charming.

According to our witness,
Mrs. Gladwell called you

"A disgusting deviant."

Strong words.

Your witness must've misheard.

He seemed very certain.

She was asking me for icing sugar,

"A dusting ingredient," she said.

Why did she call
you a deviant, Azad?

Was it to do with your personal life?

Look, I'm only interested
in catching a murderer,

I'm not here to pass judgement.

She caught me

with one of the crew members.

But all of the crew
members are male.

She terminated my contract.

I have until the end of the show.

And then you went into the marquee?

I needed to be alone.

Was there anyone else
in there with you?

No.

Azad?

I didn't do anything.

It looks like writing,

but water and mud
have made the ink run.

It'll take me a while to dry it out,

before I can take a
look under UV light.

However, far more pertinent is this,

angora, but the only person,

that I recall wearing it
yesterday was Cynthia.

Motive?

Prunella hated her cake.

Seriously?

Her criticism was particularly brutal.

But over a cake?

So she picks up these
berries in flight of reach,

an impulse grab?

Over a cake?

If you'd seen the way
Prunella devastated her.

Yeah,
I'd like to see that footage.

How are we getting on with that?

Just done.

Admittedly,
Cynthia didn't seem in a murderous rage.

Well, I'll bring her in,

I'll see if I can whisk her into a frenzy.

Or whip her into a rage.

- Stir her into a confession.
- Oh.

Very good.

It's just an act for the cameras,
isn't it?

I heard she was brutal,
you must have been angry.

Well, I was a bit upset.

Just a bit upset?

I would've been fuming.

Well, I can't be angry at Prunella,
I'm her biggest fan.

We found this in your rubbish bin.

I was just letting off some steam.

Well, you had every right
to be angry, Miss Piper.

The way she humiliated you,

I would've wanted to
scratch her eyes out too.

She's a horrid woman,

selfish, cruel.

I'm sorry she treated you that way.

What were you doing
out in the garden,

during the break in filming?

Oh, I went there to
have a little cry.

Did you notice the
belladonna berries

growing on the bushes?

Belladonna, I...

You think I...

I-I didn't know they were there.

I saw Hilary and Prunella
coming and took off

back to the marquee
to get my makeup.

Hilary and Prunella?

They were arguing.

About what?

I don't know.

A hotbed of intrigue?

And what's that,
your new favourite nightspot?

The WI.

I knew you'd take the bait.

- What have you got?
- What have you got?

Off the record?

Alright, for now.

We think that Prunella Gladwell
was the intended victim.

Well, that's bigger than I thought

and you think it was
somebody at the WI?

What do you know
about Hilary Rhodes?

I've heard rumours.

We had some words, yes.

About?

I caught her having a go
at James, belittling him.

What do you care about how
she treats her husband?

James and I were courting,
when I was in culinary school,

that's how he met Prunella.

She stole him from you?

I let him go, he was never
really interested in me.

And yet you saw fit to
jump to his defence?

It wasn't just about James,

she treats everyone as
though they're her subjects.

I noticed.

It must have grated you
when she came into town,

flaunting her success,
especially with your own troubles?

Troubles?

Your husband, the
multiple investigations

from the Inland Revenue,
warrant out for his arrest,

whereabouts unknown.

Pleased with yourself, are you?

Digging through my life like a rat?

I was just trying to understand,
that's all.

Your husband abandoned you,

leaving you with nothing
but seized assets

and shortly after,
you invite your old rival to town.

Orders from head office,

every branch had to put
out a personal invitation.

It was the last thing I wanted to do.

So no resentment, no jealousy?

Jealousy? I don't
want her life, it's a sham.

A sham?

I have my troubles,

but at least I'm living
in the real world.

Something's been cut,
about two seconds.

Two seconds of
incriminating footage.

Of what?

Show me again.

There.

What do you see?

Who delivered the film?

Major Gladwell dropped it off

at the station this afternoon.

Probably a camera glitch.

It wasn't a camera glitch,
you cut the footage.

Excuse me?

My guess is it was
something between you and Azad.

I don't know what you're getting at.

Hilary Rhodes, your ex-girlfriend,

she told me that your
marriage was a sham.

Why would she say that?

Probably still pining after me,
poor woman.

Look, I don't care about
your personal life.

Oh, this is nonsense.

I'd rather do this here,

but if I have to take you
down the station, I will,

Azad as well.

He told me that Prunella fired him,

because she caught him
with a crew member,

but I don't think that's true.

Major, look,
I'm not gonna expose you.

She found out.

What's gotten into you?

I'll decide how I talk to the help.

He is more than just the help.

You're right, he's a hindrance,

I think we should get rid of it.

- No.
- Why do you care so much?

Oh, my God, I don't give a
damn about your trips to London

for a cheap fling, but this is
on our doorstep, in our home,

on national television,
this threatens everything.

It isn't a cheap fling.

What, you're in love with him?

I don't know what it is.

I'll tell you what it is, it's over.

That's not up to you.

Break it off or I will make
sure the whole world knows,

that behind that uniform is
nothing but a mincing sissy.

Why did you go in the marquee?

To comfort Azad after she'd fired him.

And the footage?

I could see how hurt he was
by what Prunella had said.

As he went passed me,
I squeezed his hand,

stupid, an impulse,
but I couldn't help myself.

So now you know,
I'm not the only Queen of the Kitchen.

Why didn't you tell me
that you fired Azad?

And risk exposing my husband?

And your argument with Hilary?

What argument?

She had the gall to tell
me how to talk to you.

But I hardly think that she
would try to kill me over that.

That is not your decision to make.

I can't protect you,
if you keep hiding things.

Exactly, your life's in danger.

What else haven't you told me?

Nothing.

Cinnamon, flour, cream.

You're needed for
your close up, Sister,

they're about to start.

Oh.

♪ Ah ah ah ♪

Oh.

♪ Ah ah ♪

Hm.

The consistency brings to mind
the texture of wet cement.

Why is there a carrot
in this banana cake?

It's not a major disaster,

more a minor catastrophe.

So Sister, you'll have to
remind me of what this is

as it bears no resemblance
to any of my recipes.

Yes, right, well, it started life

as an almond and honey sponge,

which then evolved into a souffle

and now appears to have sunk
into an almond and honey bake.

Maybe try to think of it
more as a chewy biscuit.

It will certainly stick
indelibly in my memory

as well as in my teeth.

Too much cinnamon,
it's one teaspoon, not two.

I suggest you read my
books more carefully.

Well, we will be back after
this commercial break,

when I will be
announcing the winner.

We're off, five minutes.

You may want to have
a word with Hilary.

Sir, I just got off
the phone with the WI,

there was no order made
to invite Prunella.

I think you're right.

It's two teaspoons of cinnamon,
it always has been.

I think I know my recipe
better than you, Hilary.

It's not yours.

You can't change one tiny
thing and call it yours.

I'm not listening to this again.

But the recipe on the paper
says two teaspoons, not one

- and you know what that means?
- Plain as a pike staff.

Hilary came up with the recipe first?

Correct, Peggy, years ago,

the paper's imprinted with a crest,

a wooden spoon and griddle,

my guess from the
culinary school they both went to.

So all this over a cake?

We'll check the grounds.

It's 10 seconds, where is Prunella?

- I can't do this on my own.
- What?

Please.

In five, four, three.

Welcome back,
as you can see, Prunella is,

well, she's indisposed at the moment.

She has a very bad tummy.

Let's hope it wasn't
something she ate.

So.

- Admit it.
- Admit what,

that you've gone stark staring mad?

Hilary!

Take another step and she's gone.

Okay, tell us what you want.

We know she stole your recipe.

It wasn't just one recipe, was it?

Break it off or I will make
sure the whole world knows

that behind that uniform is
nothing but a mincing sissy.

You have no right to
talk to him that way.

How dare you tell me how
to talk to my husband.

Why did you invite me here?

I just wanted what she owed
me, but she wouldn't listen.

I'd hoped to do this over dinner,

but seeing as you'll
be rushing off.

What's that?

Exactly what it looks like,

caramelised peaches and
cream cake, my recipe.

You're delusional.

I don't know what
she's talking about.

This is your last chance.

Hilary, put down the knife
and then tell me all about it,

I want to hear your
side of the story.

If I put down the knife,
this conversation's over.

Okay, well,
tell us here what happened.

Don't you walk away from me.

I have no interest in
discussing your fantasies.

I have a whole loose-leaf binder

full of recipes just like this one,

all of them in your first cookbook,

the one that made you famous.

And you've waited all these
years to confront me about it?

My circumstances have changed.

What happened to Mr. CEO?

Do I detect desertion, abandonment?

You always did have
ideas above your station.

What was it we used to call you?
The scholarship girl.

You were the only one
that called me that.

And look at you now,
begging for charity again,

it's pathetic.

I got where I am today,
because of who I am,

not because of a few recipes.

This is worthless.

Much like yourself.

I don't want to hear it,
if you two continue this feud,

I'll have you both
suspended from the WI.

And you threw the rest into the pond?

After poor Gladys died.

I had to get rid of the evidence.

So you see,
I have nothing left to lose.

Admit it, that's all you have
to do and I'll let you live.

I strongly advise you
to do as she says.

Just say the words.

No, admit it please!

It's the same old story,
scholarship girl on her knees

begging for validation.

Wretched creature.

It's been an honour for Azad and I

to taste your delightful
desserts, ladies,

but there can only be one winner

and this week's Queen
of the Kitchen is,

Cynthia Piper.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Well done, oh, well done, well done.

- It was a wonderful cake.
- Thank you.

- There you are.
- Here you are.

And that's all we have time for,

but on behalf of myself,
Azad and Prunella-

Wherever she's got to.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

And we're out.

- Well done again.
- Oh, thank you so much.

What happened?

Clear up and then you can
collect your final pay.

Wait.

I can't do this anymore, Prunella.

Do what?

The theatrics, the playacting,

Hilary was right, it's a sham.

Hilary has just tried to kill me.

What?

You think you
can walk away from all this?

You love the theatrics
as much as I do.

I'm getting too old for it, so are you.

And if this is my last chance for love.

Leave us alone.

No.

Goodbye, Prunella.

Yes, goodbye.

I'll ruin you!

Trouble in paradise?

He's not the story, she is.

I'll tell you in the pub later.

I heard you caught the killer.

Yes.

Oh, um,

I thought Colin deserved
a stately casket.

Oh.

Did Prunella pass
judgement on your dessert?

It wasn't to her taste.

A lesson learned.

Undoubtedly,
next time I'll lend my culinary skills

to someone more
appreciative of my talents.

Don't be late for Vespers.

♪ Ah ah ♪

Prunella Gladwell,

former national treasure,

now disgraced Queen of the Kitchen.

The scandal of divorce

followed by revelations
in the "Albion Bugle,"

that she stole the recipes
that made her famous

have turned this once beloved
figure into a social pariah.

- So a-
- What?

So a little bit of butter first.

Of course, yes.

But every cloud has a silver lining

and this one's in the shape

of the nation's new favourite duo.

Right.

Add your sugar here.

Oh, I tell you what
we do need, the flour.

The flour, the flour.

Yes.

In "Two Men and a Stove,"

Major James and Azad Verma
teach the nation's men

how to cook dishes
from around the world,

whether it's to woo their sweethearts

or to impress their wives.

Making the perfect romantic gift.

For that special
someone in your life.

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