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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360 [intro music] 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,040 [imitates train] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,320 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,520 they were given by him upstairs. 5 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,000 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,040 [shouts] Stay away! 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:30,720 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented, 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,000 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 11 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,480 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,480 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,480 [all laughing] 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,480 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 16 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,360 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,080 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,840 [laughing] 20 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,360 Scatter! 21 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,720 Party! 22 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:26,320 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪ 23 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,400 ♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪ 24 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,040 Do some damage, Lillian. 25 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,440 [Joe] When you're a kid, a birthday is a day of sweets, 26 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,360 fizzy drinks and throwing up. 27 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:40,320 When you're older, it's a night of drugs, alcohol and throwing up. 28 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,360 I don't mind the celebrating, it's everything else that I don't get. 29 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,800 The sinister shit. 30 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,920 People hiding in the dark, surprising you with a cake on fire 31 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,240 and singing that fucking horrible song. 32 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,880 That first note, like a dirge. 33 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,600 And all that makes you think: this isn't a song about life, 34 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,440 this is a song about fucking death. 35 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,280 [chanting] Drink! Drink! Drink! 36 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,360 [Joe] Which, I suppose, it kind of is. 37 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,480 Another year, another step nearer the grave. 38 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,680 Another year where nothing's happened, where nothing's changed. 39 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:12,240 Happy fucking birthday. 40 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,800 [all cheering] 41 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,200 [woman] Joe Pritchard, I need a word. 42 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,360 -[everybody] Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah! -[laughing] 43 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,040 -Oh, yeah? -In private. 44 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,760 He's been a very naughty boy, officer. 45 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,440 -[everybody] Ooh! -He's gotta go down! 46 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,960 Hey, listen, ladies, when I do go down, 47 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:32,520 I go down for a very... long... time! 48 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,040 [all booing] 49 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,360 And you are gonna have to throw the book at me for this! 50 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,320 [everybody cheers] 51 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,360 Come on, then, get on with it. 52 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,200 [singing] ♪ Get your tits out Get your tits out for the lads! ♪ 53 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,080 Mr Pritchard, I'm sorry to say that your father's been involved 54 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,720 in a serious accident. 55 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,840 He died earlier this evening. 56 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:01,200 [background drowns out] 57 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,880 [policewoman] I'm sorry. 58 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,720 [dramatic music] 59 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,720 [Joe] Don't put stuff off till tomorrow because tomorrow might never come. 60 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,400 Take the pill. 61 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:17,880 Neck the drink. 62 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,760 And fuck the married woman. 63 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,680 Karen. 64 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,720 Hiya. 65 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,400 Sorry to hear about your dad. 66 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,160 What's this? 67 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,480 It's our new house. You, me, our baby. 68 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,880 [indistinct chatter, laughter] 69 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,960 You're not thinking of playing today, are ya? 70 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,400 [Joe] It'll do me good. Keep my mind occupied, you know? 71 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,680 All right. 72 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,000 I'll, uh, I'll be outside. 73 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,720 Gonna get battered again, aren't we? 74 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,080 You lot have given up before we've even kicked off. 75 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,120 Halves, boys. Just like the pre-match rules say. 76 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,680 -Thank you. -Fuck off. 77 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,800 Mimi's not coming today, so she's asked yours truly to escort ya. 78 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,840 Just to make sure you're all sober for kick-off. 79 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,560 [Bruce] You only get tea at half-time and nobody gets done for assault. 80 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,440 -Wouldn't give me the ball back. -It's called an 'at-trick. 81 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,200 -And? -Fuck. 82 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,480 So, don't worry, I'm not here to interfere with ya. 83 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,480 -Unless you want me to, of course. -[all booing] 84 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,600 -Poof! -[Micky] Shut it, fagasaurus! 85 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,680 -Why not? -My home. My husband. 86 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,440 -My baby. -Our baby. 87 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,520 -You don't know that. -And neither do you. 88 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,800 Come with me for one night. Let me show you what it could be like, us together. 89 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,720 I can't just leave here for a night. 90 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,160 [Karen] I'm not gonna leave Jamie 91 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,760 and I'm not gonna walk away from everything. 92 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:03,920 [door slams shut] 93 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,120 -D'you want a half? -Oh, no thanks, I'm not stoppin'. 94 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,600 Ian's got his football, it's about time I had something. 95 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,200 [Libby] Keep practicing circles. 96 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,400 Picasso could paint a perfect circle. 97 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,200 [sighs] Hmm. 98 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,920 All right, boys, tea's on the way. 99 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,640 [Bruce] Some painkillers for your back. 100 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,640 Must be hurting, amount of times you've had 101 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,600 -to pick the ball out the back of the net. -Yeah, cos this lot 102 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,280 -are running round like headless chickens! -Fuck off! 103 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,600 [Bruce] Save a shot every now and again! 104 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,800 -He's like a dog on wet lino! -[everybody talks] 105 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,240 -You can't blame it all on Micky. -What do you know about it? 106 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,880 They're dictating all the play. 107 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,440 [Bruce] You're giving them too much space. They're pulling you apart on the wings. 108 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,440 Drawing you out wide 109 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,920 and then pummelling you straight down the middle. 110 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,760 But like you say, Chesney, what would I know about it? 111 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,680 Now, being a poof an' all? 112 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,480 And, just for the record, 113 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,320 there's more gays than Asians in the Premiership. 114 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,000 [Bruce] In fact, there's probably more gays than Asians at United, 115 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,840 which is why they're so successful. 116 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,600 Are you saying they're successful because they've not got Asians playing for 'em? 117 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,360 -Fucking racist! -Whoa! Leave it, Chesney! Leave it! 118 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,880 -Chesney! -[Chesney] Let go of me! 119 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,360 [Ian] What are you doing, dickhead? Calm down! 120 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,480 [Micky] Deep breaths. 121 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:51,320 Look, hands up if you want Bruce to manage us second half. 122 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,440 Full house. Kings and queens. 123 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,640 -[glass shatters] -[Mimi sighs] 124 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,520 -You all right, Mimi? -[Mimi] I'm not feeling meself. 125 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,600 Is that all? 126 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,880 Breathlessness, mood swings, tiredness. 127 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,280 Me skin's crawling with spiders. 128 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,600 An overly dry vagina. 129 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,480 But I don't like to complain. 130 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,880 -Yeah -I'm probably dying. 131 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,840 [Lillian] You're on the change. Has your periods dried up yet? 132 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,920 There you go, menopause. You're just like me now. 133 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,560 [Lillian] Keep an eye out for a watery discharge. 134 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,560 Your vagina walls might be atrophying. 135 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,160 -[lads cheering] -[Jamie] Eight - five! 136 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,040 Chatsworth Estate's barmy army! 137 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,920 [indistinct chatter] 138 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,240 Your brother... mwah... is a managerial genius. 139 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,440 -Manager? -I am a genius, 140 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,440 but it wasn't just me or him, was the whole team. 141 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,480 -Drinks all round! -Fuck off. 142 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,560 You were missed, you know. 143 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,000 [tuts] Oh, thanks. 144 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,160 I couldn't have gone, not with my gut. 145 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,560 I think it was that dodgy Chinese I had last night. 146 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:05,520 What was his name? 147 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,200 I shagged a Chinese guy once 148 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,960 and ten minutes later I was horny all over again. 149 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,480 That's racist. 150 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,600 It's a joke, homophobe. 151 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,440 Shame there's no more games, innit? 152 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,720 -Maybe there could be. -Why, what do you get out of it? 153 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,560 Kudos, public adoration, respect. 154 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:26,160 And permission to gaze at all the fit, sweaty men running round in shorts? 155 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,000 [everybody laughs] 156 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,120 [upbeat music] 157 00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:40,480 ["Sugar Spun Sister (Song For My)" by The Stone Roses playing] 158 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:42,679 ♪ Her hair ♪ 159 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,000 ♪ Soft drifted snow ♪ 160 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,360 ♪ Death white ♪ 161 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,280 ♪ I'd like to know ♪ 162 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:00,640 ♪ Why she hates ♪ 163 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:05,000 ♪ All that she does ♪ 164 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:09,800 ♪ But she gives it all... ♪ 165 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,000 [buzzer] 166 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:19,040 ♪ Until the sky turns green ♪ 167 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:23,160 ♪ The grass is several shades of blue ♪ 168 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:28,160 ♪ Every member of parliament trips on glue... ♪ 169 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,280 -Dark, innit? -I asked you to come for a night. 170 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:35,080 ♪ Until the sky turns green ♪ 171 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,520 ♪ And the grass is several shades of blue ♪ 172 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:44,960 ♪ Every member of parliament trips on glue ♪ 173 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,560 ♪ It takes all these ♪ 174 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:55,680 ♪ And all that time ♪ 175 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,120 [song fades out] 176 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,880 -[knock at door] -[Maxine] Just a minute. 177 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,200 Oh, I'm, uh, terribly sorry. I... 178 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,680 [man] I just wanted to see if everything's okay. 179 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,400 -Our last life model-- -Mr Arlington! 180 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,560 Maxine Donnelly. 181 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,920 You haven't changed one bit! 182 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,920 Uh, you have. 183 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,960 [Bruce] Better be on form today, lads. 184 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,920 I pulled a lot of strings to get us in this tournament 185 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,560 and laid out entrance and registration fees. 186 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,200 Wouldn't have done it if I didn't think we could win. 187 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,440 -Yeah! -Come on, boys. 188 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,840 -So, get out there and fucking have it. -Come on, boys, let's do this! 189 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,000 [Bruce] C'mon, boys, let's do this! 190 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,800 [commentator] And in the final game of round one, 191 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,680 it's Churchill's Cocks versus newcomers, the Knob Jockeys. 192 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,800 [cheering, whistling] 193 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,480 ["Y.M.C.A." by Village People playing] 194 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,800 [singing] ♪ Y.M.C.A. ♪ 195 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,360 ♪ It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. ♪ 196 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:11,120 ♪ They've got everything For young men to enjoy ♪ 197 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,760 I've got the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. 198 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,480 ♪ It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. ♪ 199 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,840 -Everyone'll think I'm gay. -What's wrong with that? 200 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,120 -Women love the gays, don't they? -The gays? 201 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,120 [Carl laughs] Mate, they go mad for it. 202 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,160 Wanna turn you straight and all that. 203 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,200 Yes, Ches, it's a gay tournament, but first prize is a grand. 204 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,480 That'd cover fees for next year 205 00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,960 and leave us with enough for a big fuck-off party. 206 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,200 -[Ian whistles] -[Bruce] What do you reckon? 207 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,360 Go gay for pay? 208 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,240 Hands up, those who think we should get the fuck out of 'ere and go home, 209 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,600 right now. 210 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,800 -Ah, fuck it, I don't mind. -Me neither. 211 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,080 I just wanna kick around and we might win something. 212 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,600 Are you being serious? Carl? 213 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,960 -[all cheering] Yeah! -Come on, boys! 214 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,080 Bit of a romantic on the quiet, aren't ya? 215 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,000 Couldn't get a log fire sorted, though, could ya? 216 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,400 [both chuckle] 217 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,880 [Karen] You smooth bastard. 218 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,200 [Karen laughs] 219 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:26,640 -It could be like this all the time. -But this isn't real life. 220 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,160 -And what if I got ill? -I'd look after ya. 221 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,080 -It's not like a cold or flu. -I know. 222 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,760 [Connor gurgles] 223 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:42,280 I know it might not be easy, and I know we'll have shit to deal with, 224 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,320 but I have thought about it. I've thought about nothing else. 225 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,760 I'll do anything. 226 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,800 I want you. 227 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,320 -[Connor niggling] -And you! 228 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,200 Ian! 229 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,160 [crowd cheering] 230 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,400 [Shane] Bags of space, Carl! 231 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,920 -Yes! -[all cheering] 232 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,040 -[player] Lovely strike, sweetie. -[Carl] Easy. 233 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,360 [player 2] Powerful shot you got! 234 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:19,360 [on speaker] Six to the fabulous Knob Jockeys! 235 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:30,360 [quiet jazzy music] 236 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,400 O-Observe the lines of the body. 237 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,480 And see how they, they flow into each other to form relationships. 238 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:42,760 [artist] Ah, okay. 239 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:49,640 And, uh, uh, pay particular attention to the places where the lines form space, 240 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,520 areas we can't see, where innocent lines cross and... 241 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,120 And create space, shade, forbidden areas. 242 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,240 [Marc stammers, clears throat] 243 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,280 -[knock at door] -Just a minute. 244 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,960 That's a really bad habit you've got. 245 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,960 Should it not be knock, wait, then come in? 246 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,120 I probably said the same thing to you back at school. 247 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,920 [chuckles] A couple of times, yeah. 248 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,760 -Uh, sorry it's not very much. -Oh, ta. 249 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,880 Wasn't really doing it for the money, to be honest. 250 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,840 Uh, doing it for the love? 251 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,360 Kinda. 252 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,080 I wanted to do some art... 253 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,040 But I'm shit. 254 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,640 -[Karen] This is the nearest thing to it. -You're not shit. 255 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,920 You made some great sculptures for me back in my class. 256 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,880 I suppose I was always quite good with me hands. 257 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,440 [chuckles] 258 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,320 -Not like that, Mr Arlington! -Marc. 259 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:52,720 We're both adults now. 260 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,520 Can I give you a lift home? 261 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:05,520 One team of poofs stands between us and 1,000 quid. 262 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,240 [Bruce] So, listen, you are giants, you are City, Barcelona, Brazil. 263 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,960 You are kings. 264 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,960 So, get out there and murder 'em. 265 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:18,640 -Come on, boys. -[Micky] Yes! Keep it nice and tight. 266 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,080 [cheering] 267 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:24,080 [compere] We welcome into the arena our reigning champions, 268 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:28,440 I'm sure you'll give it up for the mighty Sparta Velvet! 269 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:30,880 Fuck. 270 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,440 [cheering] 271 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,160 ["Gonna Fly Now (Theme From "Rocky") by Bill Conti playing] 272 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:44,160 ♪ Trying hard now... ♪ 273 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,720 -[whistle blows] -[cheering] 274 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,920 [cheering] 275 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,200 ["I Am What I Am (2014 Club Version)" by Gloria Gaynor playing] 276 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,520 -What the fuck are you doing? -Shit. 277 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,760 [Jamie] You're shit! 278 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,880 He sounds nice. 279 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,480 Nice, yeah, he is. 280 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,680 So, um, what about you, anyway? Still married to Mrs Arlington? 281 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:15,640 Um, divorced. 282 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,160 A... A couple of years back. 283 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,000 -Are you okay? -[Marc] Yes. 284 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960 It was all my fault, really. 285 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:23,600 [Marc tuts] Hmm. 286 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,440 I had an affair. 287 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,960 -[Marc] Uh, you must have heard. -No. 288 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,120 [sighs heavily] Susannah Royal, 289 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,240 a couple of years behind you. 290 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,680 -You shagged a pupil? -She was 16. 291 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,160 You never tried to shag me! 292 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:48,720 [stammers] Another? 293 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,960 I best not. I should get off. 294 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,640 I mean... I should go. 295 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,200 -I'll give you a lift. -Honest, only round the corner, 296 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,520 -it's fine. -I insist. 297 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,600 -[cheering, exclaiming] -[Ian cries out] 298 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,880 [Jamie] You're a bunch of fucking pricks, hey? 299 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,960 [whistle blows] 300 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:05,920 Fucking... 301 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,200 [magical-like music] 302 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,720 -Ian? -[Ian grunts] 303 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:25,680 I think I've pulled something. 304 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:27,960 Something or someone? 305 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:30,760 Corny. 306 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,800 -That's me. -[Ian chuckles] 307 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,160 -Thanks, man. -[Ste] You're welcome. 308 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,640 [magical-like music continues] 309 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,600 -You're on. It's five all... -What? 310 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,280 ...we're a man down and there's a minute left. 311 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,160 You'd be letting your mates down, your team. 312 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,960 -[whistle blows] -[indistinct chatter, cheering] 313 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,440 Ref! Spitting! 314 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:56,360 -For fuck's sake, Chesney, you have to. -I don't have to do anything. 315 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,160 You're right, Ches, you don't have to. 316 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,440 [Ian] It's your choice, and whatever you decide to do is fine by me. 317 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:06,520 Reverse psychology? 318 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,600 We'll see. 319 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,320 [whistle blows] 320 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,600 [slow tense music] 321 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,360 -[Mickey cries out] -[crowd gasps] 322 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,440 [Ian gasps] 323 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,360 Come on, Ches! 324 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,320 ["Gonna Fly Now (Theme From "Rocky") by Bill Conti] 325 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,720 ♪ Gettin' strong now... ♪ 326 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,280 Come on, Ches! 327 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:08,000 ♪ Gettin' strong now ♪ 328 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,000 ♪ Gettin' strong now... ♪ 329 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,360 Come on, Ches! 330 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,280 [all cheering] 331 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,320 [Bruce] Fucking have it! 332 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,240 [compere] We have our new champions, all the way from Chatsworth. 333 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,200 The Knob Jockeys! 334 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,760 -[singing] ♪ Who are ya? ♪ -Yeah, that's it, yeah. 335 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,720 No, whoa, whoa, whoa. 336 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,920 Oh, yeah, that's it. 337 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,120 -[indistinct chatter, laughter] -[magical-like music] 338 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,080 [Maxine] Private art teacher? 339 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,440 You're not allowed in schools anymore, then? 340 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:14,360 No. 341 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,000 Oh, of course not. 342 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,440 [chuckles] 343 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,400 Well, thanks for the lift. 344 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,400 Again. 345 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,160 Oh, uh, perhaps you don't remember. 346 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:32,280 I picked you up once from a bus stop, in the rain. 347 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,560 I, uh, um... 348 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,600 -What? What? -[Marc] No. 349 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,600 -I shouldn't. -What? 350 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,800 I wanted to kiss you that day. 351 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,200 -[Maxine laughing] -[Marc chuckles] 352 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,720 I wanted to grab hold of you and kiss you. 353 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,120 And... 354 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,960 And fuck you senseless. 355 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,560 Sorry, I've got to go. 356 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,880 [car engine starting] 357 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:31,880 [sighs] 358 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,600 [door opens] 359 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,480 -We won. -Brilliant. 360 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,920 How'd you get on? 361 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,280 With Joe? 362 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,760 You said you were gonna pop in and give him a hand with the funeral. 363 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,960 Oh, yeah, uh, I saw him. 364 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,440 Uh, his dad ain't got a lot of mates, so, um, won't be a big do. 365 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,200 I'm just having a shower. I feel a bit dirty. It's been a long day. 366 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,800 You feel a bit dirty, do ya? 367 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,800 Well, so... do I. 368 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,840 What's up? 369 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,760 -I need a shower. -Oh, don't worry about that. 370 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,080 No! No. 371 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,280 -[both breathe heavily] -Karen? 372 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,200 -We... -What? 373 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,200 We need to talk. 374 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,640 -Shall we get dressed, then we can talk? -Get dressed? 375 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,080 -If we get dressed, we can talk... -What's it, Karen? What's going on? 376 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,800 -Just give me a minute. -What the fuck is going on? 377 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,120 -Give me a fucking minute! -Tell me! 378 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,280 I'm seeing... 379 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,320 I've been seeing someone else. 380 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:11,560 [dramatic music] 381 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,240 [Jamie] How have we got here, hey? 382 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,920 I mean, we had so much, the two of us. 383 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,440 I felt like I could do anything, you know... 384 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,760 With you. 385 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:36,880 Together. 386 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:40,960 -I'm sorry. -No. 387 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,520 No, I'm sorry. 388 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,880 It's not all your fault, is it? It's both of us. 389 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,320 I've not looked after ya. 390 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,280 Fuck's sake! 391 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,720 [breathes heavily] 392 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,840 You are my fucking life. 393 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,560 You're my fucking life, Karen. You and Connor and... 394 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,680 -I'm just gonna go to my mum's. -Look... 395 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,120 I've not exactly been faithful myself. 396 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:23,080 Oh, come on, let's do something together. Let's go pictures. [cries out] 397 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,160 [kisses] I'll see ya later. 398 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,320 -[Maxine cries out] -[Ian laughs] 399 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,360 -[Maxine cries out] -[Ian sighs loudly] 400 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,600 [Bruce] Oh, put him down. You don't know where he's been. 401 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,720 Come on, Canal Street is calling. 402 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,240 Canal Street? 403 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,560 [Ian sighs] 404 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,120 It's a gay presentation for a gay football tournament 405 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,680 in a gay bar. 406 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,240 Hardly gonna be Wetherspoons on Deansgate now, is it? 407 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,360 Oh, God. Yes, Max, 408 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,240 I'll keep my beady little eye on the raging heterosexual. 409 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,520 Fuck off. 410 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,240 Come 'ere. 411 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,000 [Ian sighs] C'mon. 412 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,240 Poor Cinderella left all alone with the housework 413 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,160 while the beautiful boys go to the ball. 414 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,760 [door slams shut] 415 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,560 [Jamie] You forgot to take it yesterday. 416 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:30,760 -How about the day before? -I don't know. 417 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,200 It was months ago. 418 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:46,560 Months? 419 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,600 Went out with the boys. I met her in a club. 420 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,920 One thing led to another and we slept together. 421 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,920 So sorry, Karen. I didn't mean... 422 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:05,840 I was angry, and I was pissed and... 423 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,520 [Jamie] I started to do it for the money. 424 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,200 -[Jamie] I mean, we were skint cos-- -What, because of me? 425 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,000 So, it's my fault that you fucked other people? 426 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:18,240 You fucked other people. 427 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,000 One person. 428 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,320 One. There's a big fucking difference. 429 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,000 I shagged anonymous women who I didn't care about. 430 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,000 And you... 431 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,120 You went back to the same fucking bloke! 432 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:34,400 Who is he, Karen? 433 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,320 Who... have you... been fucking? 434 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,760 -Who have you been fucking? -It's none of your business. 435 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,240 Course it's my business! 436 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,680 It's got nothing to do... 437 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:49,800 With nothing. 438 00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:01,720 -It's got nothing... to do... -[dog growls] 439 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:02,680 With nothing! 440 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,960 It's nothing. 441 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,320 [Karen sobbing] It's... It's nothing. 442 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,280 Couldn't they have posted the cheque or summat? 443 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,320 Come on, Ches, you're the hero. Enjoy yourself. 444 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,400 [barman] Coming through! 445 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,320 Here you are, love, get that down you. 446 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:26,960 Gorgeous. 447 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,200 [disco music playing] 448 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,200 You're not gonna meet the girl of your dreams in here, granted. 449 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,640 Nobody will think you're gay. 450 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,040 No one back in Chatsworth will even know you're here, so loosen up. 451 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,800 Might just have a good time. 452 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,520 You ready, boys? Ian? Carl? 453 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,200 Remember... act gay. 454 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:47,280 Not that fucking gay! 455 00:27:47,360 --> 00:27:49,760 Nice in here, innit? Everyone's dead friendly. 456 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,200 -When's the presentation 'n that? -Soon as the papers arrive. 457 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,760 -Papers? -[cameras click] 458 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,160 Pink News, Gay News usually, 459 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,000 but they've had loads more interest this year. 460 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,720 [Bruce] Manchester Evening News. A couple of nationals. 461 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,480 -There might even be a TV crew. -TV transvestite, or TV television? 462 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,880 We're gonna be famous. 463 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,320 [dramatic music] 464 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,240 [Maxine] Hiya. 465 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,000 Um, the film doesn't start till two. 466 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,440 Time for a cheeky glass before we go? 467 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:36,720 Um... 468 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,440 [Maxine] Cheers. 469 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:42,480 [giggles] 470 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,200 [giggles, gasps] 471 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,600 [laughs] 472 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,080 Eggnog! 473 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,080 [fast paced upbeat music] 474 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,000 [giggles] 475 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,480 -[cameras click] -[indistinct chatter] 476 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,560 -[upbeat pop music playing] -[cameras click] 477 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:16,720 Ches! 478 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,760 [disco music playing] 479 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,760 [Bruce] I'd just like to say a few thank you's. 480 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,640 First of all, to all the other teams who battled it out in the tournament. 481 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:36,440 -Losers! -[punters cheering, whistling] 482 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:40,200 Thanks to the organisers and everybody here at Bar Whatever. 483 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,120 [cheering] 484 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,360 [Bruce] Let's hear it for the winners. 485 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:48,000 The team from Chatsworth Estate's one and only gay pub, 486 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,160 it's the Knob Jockeys! 487 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,000 [cheering, whistling] 488 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,920 -A grand's worth of hotel vouchers? -I swear, didn't know till yesterday. 489 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,960 Why would I wanna go to the Gayzone hotel in Barcelona? 490 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,440 -Why wouldn't ya? -Fucking queer! 491 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,200 -What is your problem? -Him. 492 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,040 He had us mincing about in there and it makes me fucking sick. 493 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,080 -You're bang out of order. -You can fuck off, too! 494 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,240 Another lying faggot. 495 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,200 Yeah, you heard right. 496 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,280 Ian Gallagher's a fucking bender. 497 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,840 -They know. -I don't. 498 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,240 -Maxine's a bloke? -I know what you're about. 499 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,160 You two. 500 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,000 That lot in there. 501 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,480 I know what you're doing when you're putting your hands on my back. 502 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,440 You like the straight blokes, don't ya? 503 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,560 Is that what you did with my dad? 504 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,880 Touched him up, so you could suck his dick? 505 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,000 Is it? 506 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,400 You touched him up, so you could suck him off? 507 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,800 Yeah, yeah, I sucked your dad's cock. 508 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,040 He sucked my cock. He couldn't get enough of it. 509 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:51,560 You fucking... 510 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,200 But the thing you need to know about your dad, Ches, 511 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,280 is that it weren't me. It were him. 512 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,920 -He came on to me. -Fuck off! 513 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,400 Believe what you want. Doesn't bother me. 514 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,840 But you need to know the truth. 515 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,320 [Carl] Right, I reckon it's time we were going. Now. 516 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,440 [Carl] Oi! 517 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,880 I've got reason to believe that you're not an all-gay team. 518 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,720 [Micky] Who are you, the bandit police? 519 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,480 [lad] Yeah, actually. 520 00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,000 This was an exclusive for gay football tournament. 521 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,280 All right. All right, we know. 522 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,440 Some of us are gay, some of us aren't. 'Ere. 523 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:29,480 Come on, let's bounce. 524 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,840 You can stay for a bit, can't ya? 525 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,240 [magic-like music] 526 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:42,600 Canal Street? 527 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:46,040 I can't. 528 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,040 I'm with someone. 529 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:50,880 Fine. 530 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:55,960 [Chesney] It was him? 531 00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:58,960 It was my dad? 532 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,280 Who came on to you? 533 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,480 C'mon. 534 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:10,120 [upbeat music] 535 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,320 [laughs] 536 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,520 Let's go pictures! 537 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,000 Shit. 538 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,080 I can't do this. 539 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,080 I'm sorry. 540 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:31,520 That's mine and Ian's bed. 541 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:34,320 [sighs] 542 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,200 -Let's do it on the floor, then. -[sighs] 543 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,040 -Standing up? -No, I don't want to. 544 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,400 I am so sorry to fuck you about, Marc. 545 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,760 But this would be the biggest mistake ever. 546 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,560 -And I, I can't do that. Not to Ian. -[Marc gagging] 547 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,000 -That's a bit much, innit? -Sorry. 548 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,400 -Marc? -It's my heart. 549 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,120 -[panting] I can't... -[Maxine] Marc? 550 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:07,200 [gurgles] Excited. Stress. [panting] Oh, fuck! Fucking hell! 551 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,600 -It'll pass... In... [groans] -Marc! 552 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,440 Oh... fuck! 553 00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,560 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Fuck! 554 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,440 [Marc chocking] 555 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,800 Hiya. Ambulance, please. 556 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,040 -Twenty seven, Shipman Street. -[Marc choking] 557 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,680 -[Maxine] Marc Arlington. -[mobile phone ringing] 558 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,280 A mild cardial infarction. 559 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,120 Yes, a heart attack. 560 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,800 -A fucking heart attack! -[mobile continue ringing] 561 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,600 Oh, fucking hell. 562 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,400 No, no, no, not you. Yes, he's still alive. 563 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,200 Can you just hurry up, please? 564 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,840 [Marc grunting] 565 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,560 Hiya, babes, you all right? 566 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,200 Oh, nothing, you know. 567 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:52,000 Oh, it's, um, it's just some shit film. I'll just turn it down. 568 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,120 Yeah, you go for a drink. Go for a dozen. [chuckles] Yeah. 569 00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,680 I'll just see you whenever. All right. 570 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:02,960 [Marc grunts] 571 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,640 He was my father, but he weren't a dad. 572 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,000 He was never there for me. 573 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:14,800 He never saw me... 574 00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:16,639 Kick a ball. 575 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,520 Never bought me a pint. Never. 576 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:20,320 Never. 577 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,639 He fucked off when I was a kid and I never saw him, 578 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,280 except when I had a bit of cash and he wanted something. 579 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,159 But, as much as I hated him... 580 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,920 He was me father. Never a dad. 581 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,480 [emotive music] 582 00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:01,000 I'll see you later, Dad. 583 00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:24,280 [Ian] Maxine! 584 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,400 -I think its egg and cress. -Oh, that will be nice. 585 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,240 -I don't like egg. -Since when? 586 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,600 -I want a pie. -I don't think there are any pies. 587 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,680 There must be some dinky beefs. It's not a buffet without a dinky beef. 588 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,160 [Libby] Oh, look, how about a lovely chicken drum-- 589 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:56,680 I want a pie. Ask if they've got any pies, go on. 590 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:00,400 Excuse me, Joe, but.. 591 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:02,760 Do you have any pies? 592 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,720 -[Patty tuts] -Sorry. 593 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,760 I'd have thought he'd have laid on a decent spread for his father. 594 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,320 Did you know him? 595 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,520 Did any of you know him? 596 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:18,800 Well, you know... not strictly, no. 597 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,240 But, I mean, this is a time when people come together, innit, 598 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,560 you know, when communities unite. 599 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,600 It's like we're all throwing flowers at Lady Diana's coffin-- 600 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,000 Shut it, Frank. 601 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,000 It's all right for me to raise a glass though, innit? 602 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,200 Sorry about that, I was checking in on Karen. 603 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,040 She's a bit all over the place at the minute. 604 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:40,840 Strictly between us... 605 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,000 We're going through a bit of a rough patch. 606 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,560 She's been having an affair. 607 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,280 It's over now. I think we're gonna make a go of it. 608 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,720 Enough about me, hey? 609 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,760 -Two pints, please, Nic. -Each. 610 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,400 -That's just for starters. -Bruce's paying, aren't ya, mate? 611 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,080 Yeah, Bruce's promised a party, haven't ya? 612 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,320 [Micky] What's that Bruce, drinks all round? 613 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:08,560 [Micky laughs] 614 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:10,480 [Carl] You all right, mate? 615 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:11,880 I will be. 616 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:12,880 Listen... 617 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,360 I'll understand if you, uh... 618 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:17,280 What? 619 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,080 If you thought about giving me a blow job. 620 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,560 I don't ever want you to do it or anything, 621 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,880 but I'll understand if you've had a sly wank over the thought of it. 622 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,200 [laughs] Fuck off! 623 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,880 -[emotive music] -[indistinct chatter] 624 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:44,680 Another beer, Joe? 625 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,560 Listen, I know how hard it is to lose someone close, 626 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,080 but it will get easier, I promise. 627 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,320 In the meantime, if you need a chat, a beer, whatever... 628 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,720 if there's anything either of us can do, anything at all, just ask. 629 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,080 Anything? 630 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:05,960 Yeah. 631 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:11,840 Your wife. 632 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:15,440 I want your wife... 633 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,400 Who I've been fucking on and off for nearly a year. 634 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,920 We don't wanna waste any more time sneaking around your back, 635 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,120 so I'd like her to come with me. 636 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,200 I'd like my son, too. 637 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,200 You'll be wanting your change, then? 638 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,760 I think you'd better get your coat. 639 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,200 [cash register opens] 640 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:15,080 [tense dramatic music] 641 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,200 [Maxine] Nothing happened, Ian. 642 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,000 I swear it on my life, nothing, nothing happened. 643 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,480 I thought about it, and I nearly did, but I didn't. 644 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:36,760 I couldn't. 645 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,280 [crying] I love you! 646 00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,600 [voice breaks] I love you! 647 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,360 [Karen] What the fuck? 648 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,880 What the fuck have you done, Joe? 649 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,200 We. Karen, we. 650 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:07,720 What the fuck have we done. 651 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,440 -You should have left it to me. -[Joe] I couldn't wait. 652 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,040 -Life's too short. -You don't know what he'll do. 653 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,120 -We'll deal with it. -[Karen] DNA tests. 654 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,000 Psychiatric reports. Court cases. 655 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,640 [Karen] He won't leave us be. 656 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,080 -Let's kill the cunt. -No. 657 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,480 -Jamie! -I said no. 658 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,000 This is my shit and I'll fix it. 659 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,080 I don't need help from any of you unless I ask for it, you got that? 660 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,160 [Karen] He's a convicted fucking murderer. 661 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,280 [Karen] What's gonna stop him doing it again? 662 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,560 [Karen] He isn't the sort of bloke who just walks away from stuff. 663 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,920 [tense dramatic music] 664 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,000 -[glass cracks] -[squelching] 665 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:08,080 -[Connor cries] -[Joe] We could go. 666 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,280 We could get Connor and leave right now. 667 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,760 -[Connor gurgles] -[Karen] No... it's not safe. 668 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:16,720 He'll kill us. 669 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,760 [Karen] You... Me... 670 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,320 [Connor cries] 671 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,680 [Karen] This is when he's at his worst, when you don't know what he's thinking. 672 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,040 What he's planning on doing. 673 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:35,760 [Karen] And this... 674 00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,120 This is when... 675 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:43,280 He's either gonna... lock the doors... and go to bed... 676 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:48,840 or... 677 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:51,760 [banging at door] 678 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,760 I've double locked the shop, the flat. 679 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,840 There's chains, bolts, CCT... 680 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,720 [dramatic music] 681 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:10,360 [Karen] What you doing? 682 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:12,560 You're not going out there. 683 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,560 [Joe] I'm not knackering up my best clothes. 684 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,400 -This isn't a little kids' fight. -I'm not hiding away. 685 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,280 [Karen] You're not at school. He's not just gonna slap you about a bit. 686 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,680 -He's gonna fucking kill ya! -I'll be ready for him. 687 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,520 [Karen] No! Joe! Joe! 688 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,680 Jamie! 689 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:37,760 Joe, please don't. 690 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,440 Jamie, I know you're out here. 691 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,520 Come back inside, Joe, please. 692 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:44,800 [angrily] Jamie! 693 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,360 We're gonna have to sort this out. 694 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,280 -I know that your pride is-- -[Jamie] Fuck off! 695 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,960 I've not come to see you, you weaselly little fuck. 696 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,680 Karen! 697 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:08,680 Karen. 698 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,000 -What? -[Jamie] This is your last chance. 699 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,200 Come home. We can work through this. 700 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:23,800 Come home. 701 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,200 What do you say? 702 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,000 [tense anticipatory music] 703 00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:49,040 Brought someone to see you. 704 00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,880 [anticipatory music intensifies] 705 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,000 [Joe coughs] 706 00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,880 -[Karen] No! Fuck, no! -[Joe] It's me dad. 707 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:19,960 Fuck! 708 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,360 Fuck... Joe! 709 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,920 Joe! Joe, get up! 710 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,880 [Joe crying] 711 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,000 [spade clanking] 712 00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,200 -Karen's looking a bit tired, in't she? -Shattered. 713 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:20,080 --Heard she's not been taking her meds. Yeah, she'll go mental again. 714 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,320 Shall I call the hospital, get her sectioned? 715 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,400 Don't worry about it, mate. I'll look after her for ya. 716 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,360 Where's Connor? 717 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:32,440 -Where the fuck is my son? -Far away from you. 718 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,200 -Jamie... -Get her out. 719 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:35,320 He's safe from you. 720 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:36,920 -What do you mean? -Karen. 721 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:38,280 [Karen] Jamie! 722 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,520 Where the fuck is my son? 723 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,640 -Go on, fuck off. -[screams] Where is my son? 724 00:45:44,720 --> 00:45:46,400 -Fuck off. -[Karen] He's my son. 725 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,640 -I want my son! -Fuck off out of here, 726 00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:51,120 -you mental fucking bitch! -[Karen screaming] 727 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,560 -Where's my son? -Go on, Karen. 728 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,760 -Piss off, you fucking trollop. -Fucking slapper! 729 00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,120 [screaming] I want my son! 730 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,720 [Joe] My dad didn't give a fuck about right and wrong, 731 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,840 fallout, consequences. 732 00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,120 Because they never affected him. 733 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:05,760 Cause and effect. 734 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,680 -Connor! -[Joe] Whatever we do has an effect. 735 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:12,040 Maybe not for us, at first, but for everyone else, it does. 736 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,240 It always does. 737 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:18,560 The way you live your life, the things you do, the choices you make... 738 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,000 [screams] No! 739 00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,840 [Joe] ...will have an effect somewhere along the line. 740 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,160 And you might not give a shit. 741 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:29,880 You're just a butterfly fluttering its wings, 742 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,200 but on the other side of the world... 743 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:36,640 Connor. 744 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:39,000 [Joe] I want him back. You haven't seen us, right? 745 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,200 -They've got my son! -[Micky] We've got family up there. 746 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:42,840 Loved ones who're facing their darkest hour. 747 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:43,840 [screams] 748 00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,040 -How's your fufu? -It's fine, thank you. 749 00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:51,120 And it may get tough and some of us might not get out alive... 750 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:56,200 Just remember what it was that turned this country from Britain 751 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:57,240 into Great Britain. 752 00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:58,600 Check mate. 753 00:46:58,680 --> 00:46:59,960 [gunshot] 754 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,720 [cackles] 755 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,360 Fancy a little fire, Scarecrow? 756 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:44,560 No! 757 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,440 -[witch grunts] -No! Help! Please! 758 00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:49,120 -No, don't be a cunt. -[cackles] 759 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,200 [gasping] 760 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:55,200 I'm melting. [groaning] 761 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:59,160 Who would have thought, a good little girl like you 762 00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:03,480 could destroy my beautiful... 763 00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:05,640 [indistinct groans] 764 00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,000 [gasps] 765 00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,640 Fuck! [sighs] Oh, f... 56248

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