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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360 [intro music] 2 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,040 [imitates train] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,320 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,520 they were given by him upstairs. 5 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,000 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,040 [shouts] Stay away! 7 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:30,720 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented, 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,000 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 11 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,480 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,480 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 14 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,480 [all laughing] 15 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,480 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 16 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,360 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,080 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,840 [laughing] 20 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,360 Scatter! 21 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,720 Party! 22 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,760 [music fades out] 23 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,200 [Mimi] After all these years of marriage, I can truly, hand on heart, say, 24 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,320 "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." 25 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,720 What a load of bollocks. 26 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,320 Mimi. 27 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,520 Patrick. 28 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,680 It's what I need, Mimi. New start, new challenges. 29 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,720 I know. For both of us. 30 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,600 C'mon, or we're gonna be late. 31 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,840 Patrick has had a brilliant business opportunity offered to him in Ireland. 32 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,240 [Paddy] Nightclubs. Two in Belfast, one in Lisburn. 33 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,880 I've always turned the offer down before, because... 34 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,400 it means relocating. 35 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,720 We wanna move on with our lives separately. 36 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,960 It won't be necessary. 37 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,440 This wedding certificate... I'm afraid to say it's fake. 38 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:09,720 You what? 39 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,080 [lawyer] It's not worth the paper it's written on. 40 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,440 [Mimi] But we signed it. At the church, with Father Jim. 41 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,520 Therein lies the problem. 42 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:21,440 [policeman] Come 'ere, ya fuckin' fraudster! Come 'ere! 43 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,200 -[policeman gasping] -[Father Jim gasping] 44 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,800 Father Jim wasn't a Father? 45 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,720 -[lawyer] Not according to Interpol. -And this means? 46 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,560 [lawyer] You, um, can't actually be granted a divorce... 47 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,440 because you were never married. 48 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,520 [yells] You what? 49 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,880 [Libby] Carl, give me a ring as soon as you can. 50 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,680 [Libby] Ah! 51 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,240 Good timing. Stella's having an afternoon nap, we're late enough as it is. 52 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,760 -For what? -Book club. 53 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,720 Oh, fuckin' hell! Till when? 54 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,680 [sighs] Willy Wonka's on telly at five. 55 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,360 -She'll love that. -Fuckin' delightful! 56 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,080 -That'll be all right then, won't it? Yes? -And if you're good... 57 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,560 I might go by the offy on the way home, grab you a four-pack. 58 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,240 -[Frank] Just give us a few quid... -[Libby] No. 59 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,320 For some cigs. Haven't had a smoke in over three hours. 60 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,440 -[Libby] No! -[Frank] Come on! 61 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,760 You need to tell him you're not a cash cow. 62 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,880 -Stay out of it, Mother! -Milkin' ya dry! 63 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,760 [Frank] Yeah, stay out of it, Moth-- Bet she's got some cash stashed away. 64 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,000 Balance your budget with more conviction, Frank. 65 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,360 -[Frank] And? -And... 66 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,480 I might take a look at increasing your overdraft. Okay, sir? 67 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,240 Stella's asleep in her cot. [door slamming] 68 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:24,160 [Stella cries] 69 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,880 In the eyes of God, I'm no better than a fuckin' prossy! 70 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,640 And what about Mandy and Fergal? 71 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,960 [Mimi] Denied access through the Pearly Gates! 72 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,320 [Mimi] Stuck up there in purgatory forever! Whose fault's that? 73 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,760 The prick that dressed in a cassock and pretended to be a priest! 74 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,360 Wrong answer. 75 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,280 It's your fault! 76 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,360 What? 77 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,640 I wouldn't wipe me own arse with this! 78 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,120 [spluttering sounds] 79 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,560 Get out! 80 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,240 -Where did you find Father Jim? -I can't remember. I don't know. 81 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,400 He was a friend of a client. I was in a rush. You made me rush. 82 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,760 Because I didn't wanna walk down the aisle in me third trimester! 83 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,800 [Mimi] That's why! 84 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,440 [Mimi] You did it on purpose. 85 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,600 Are you takin' the piss? 86 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,200 -How was I supposed to know? -[Mimi] It all makes sense now! 87 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,200 You thought I was trickin' you into gettin' married, 88 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,720 so you picked any ol' Tom, Dick or Jim just to shut me up. 89 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,640 [Mimi] And the kids... They're all bastards! 90 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,040 Tell me something I don't know. 91 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,960 [tyres screeching] 92 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,160 -[Mimi] We'll have to get married again. -[Paddy] What? 93 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,320 -We'll have to get married again. -No. No. 94 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,040 You wanted this divorce, and how can we, 95 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,280 if because of you, we were never married in the first place? 96 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,360 We do it properly this time, Paddy... For the kids' sake! 97 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,120 [Mimi] No one need know shit all about this. 98 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,920 As far as anyone's concerned, the divorce has gone through, 99 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,280 and we're happy as Larry. 100 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,120 Have to meet me tonight, away from here, to sort this out. 101 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,560 So much for being amicable. 102 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,480 -[pop music playing] -[indistinct chatter] 103 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,720 -Hi, everybody! -All right, Dad? 104 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,560 Aye, top of the world, son! 105 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,200 It's official, I'm a free man. 106 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,000 And more importantly, I'm a free woman. 107 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,520 You all right? 108 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,000 Just needs to sink in. 109 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,680 It's not as if they've only just split up. 110 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,600 Not that they're split up just that we're all orphans. 111 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,680 [Stella crying] 112 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,840 [Stella crying] 113 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,040 [microwave dings] 114 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,800 [Frank coughs] 115 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,440 -[Stella continues crying] -Fuck! 116 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,680 -You okay? -Never better. 117 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,280 Even got meself a date later. 118 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,600 Fantastic! Who's the lucky fella? 119 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,480 Met him last week in the ready meal section in Tesco. 120 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,400 -What's he like? -Fucking gorgeous. 121 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,080 What's his name? 122 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,240 Uh, Jack Beam. 123 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,200 [cheering] 124 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,000 [Ian] ...said he'd only buy it if I got my cock out. 125 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,480 -[Maxine] No way! [giggles] -[Ian] Seriously! [laughs] 126 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,800 [Ian] That's what he said! 127 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,840 -[Ian laughs] -[Maxine giggles] 128 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,680 [Micky sighs] 129 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,240 It's understandable if you feel bad about your mum and dad, y'know? 130 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,560 We used to have to eat together every Sunday. 131 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,840 Dad was never home in the week, and Sundays was the only day he was. 132 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,280 Even if it was just fish finger butties, it didn't matter, 133 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,320 so long as we was all there round the table. 134 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,040 Me favourite time of the whole week. 135 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,800 Some people never have what you had. 136 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:19,840 [Maxine] Move on. 137 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,080 That's just life. That's what families do. 138 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,720 What's the point in marriage or families if they're always gonna collapse anyway? 139 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,000 But you can't say that. 140 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,200 Yeah, I can. 141 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,440 Rather not bother if it's all gonna go tits up. 142 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:31,880 Save meself the mither. 143 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,440 Stick to bein' single. 144 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,240 -[Ian] Come on. We're goin' out. -What? 145 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,760 Don't argue. Just get ready. 146 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,040 ["Beautiful Ones" by Suede playing] ♪ ...psycho for drum machine ♪ 147 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,440 ♪ Shaking their bits to the hits ♪ 148 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:55,000 ♪ Oh, drag acts, drug acts, suicides ♪ 149 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,320 ♪ in your dad's suits ya hide ♪ 150 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,160 ♪ Staining his name again ♪ 151 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:05,280 ♪ Oh, cracked up, stacked up, 22, psycho... ♪ 152 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,040 [Frank] Well, that's a good little girl, Stella. Your brother'll be back soon. 153 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,800 [Frank] Daddy won't be long, sweetheart. 154 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,280 [Frank] Fuckin' hell! Where the fuck'd you put it? 155 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,920 [Fast paced bass music] 156 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,919 Thank you, thank you, thank you! 157 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,560 [fast paced rock music] 158 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,040 -Back by midnight or you're grounded. -Too much cleavage? 159 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,520 Takin' the piss? 160 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,240 You can never have enough cleavage. 161 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,200 I beg to differ. 162 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:57,840 See you later. 163 00:08:59,080 --> 00:08:59,920 See you, Mum. 164 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,920 Shane! C'mon. 165 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,880 Dad's house. Lads' night in. 166 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,920 -[lads cheering] -What the fuck? 167 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,840 [lad 1] Here, Paddy! 168 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,400 -[Jamie] Get that beer in ya, Dad. -[phone ringing] 169 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,560 Divorce parties are all the rage nowadays, Dad! 170 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,440 [indistinct chatter, yelling] 171 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,560 [lad 2] Cheers, lads! 172 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,520 -Cheers! -[lads cheering] 173 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,920 Party! 174 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,720 What the fuck are we celebrating? 175 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,960 -Rosalita? -[chuckles] No. 176 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,520 [Herbert] Okay. Okay, I know. 177 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,520 The barnet. Before you say it... 178 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,480 It is dyed. 179 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,000 But I prefer to use the word "coloured". 180 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,280 I'm not Rosali-- 181 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,600 [man] May've shaved a few years off me age 182 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,760 but if I'd told the truth you might not turn up. 183 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,920 And, oh... 184 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,720 And I added just a few inches to me height. 185 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,000 What do you think? Good enough for Tom Cruise? 186 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,520 -Excuse me? -It's me! Herbert! 187 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,640 I'm... Not... Rosalita. 188 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,240 I never will be Rosalita. Do you understand? 189 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,320 Now, do me a favour, you desperate piece of shit. 190 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,600 Do one! 191 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,720 Although, I prefer the words "Fuck off"! 192 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,920 [lads cheering loudly] 193 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,480 [suspenseful music] 194 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,000 [breathing heavily] 195 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,200 [woman] Herbert? 196 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,800 Rosalita. 197 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,920 Pleased to meet ya, Rosalita, but I'm afraid I'm not Herbert. 198 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,160 You'll certainly do, though. 199 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,360 [Rosalita] So don't tell me you've been stood up as well. 200 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:22,360 -Kind of. -Can I get you a drink to make up for it? 201 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,000 -[Rosalita] Here we go. Gay? -Ha! 202 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,280 [scoffs] 203 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,440 Married? 204 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,960 [scoffs] Might've known. 205 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,880 Actually... No. Not ever. 206 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:34,760 [mobile phone beeps] 207 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,400 Well, then... What's your problem? 208 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,400 Nothin', sweetheart. 209 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,720 It's just, normally, I'm the one that buys the drinks. 210 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,400 -What would you like? -A vodka lime 'n lemonade, please. 211 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,800 -Double? -Why not? 212 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,120 Good. 213 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,480 [heavy dance music playing] 214 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,080 I'll get these. 215 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,000 Oh, I'm sorry. 216 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,000 How to put someone off in ten seconds, y'know, 217 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,400 next I'll be askin' if ya come here often. 218 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,760 [chuckles] Or would you prefer the funny angle? 219 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,760 If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib. 220 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:27,920 It's not funny, though. 221 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,600 Someone actually said that to me once. 222 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,200 -What, you serious? -On my life. 223 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,520 Proper dick. 224 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,120 I'm Gary. 225 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,200 [Gary] C'mon through. 226 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,760 [Gary] There's beer in the fridge. Help yourself. 227 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,600 -[Gary] Did it all meself. -What? 228 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,680 [Gary] This place. Did it meself. 229 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,480 It's mint! 230 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:22,080 -I'm an architect. -Yeah? 231 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,320 [Gary] What about you? 232 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,600 -I've got me own company. -Ah, doin' what? 233 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,720 [Micky] Credit control. Y'know, high end o' the market. 234 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,240 Y'know, big rewards on the back o' the credit crunch. 235 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,960 It can be ruthless, but... I love it. 236 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,200 Yeah, sounds like you do. 237 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,200 Y'know, people always said I'd never do anything with my life. 238 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,800 Y'know, so I wanted to prove 'em all wrong. 239 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,240 Yeah. So I did. 240 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,760 Go on! Out, ya bastards! 241 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,200 Look, we warned ya! Slag. 242 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,000 Nowt wrong with ambition. 243 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,040 So? What're you into? 244 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,880 Just a snog to start with. 245 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,440 Bit o' massage, some oral I prefer a 69, 246 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:06,440 but I don't usually go in for penetration on the first date unless maybe anal beads. 247 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,000 -Y'know, if you've got 'em. -I meant music. 248 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,000 Oh. 249 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,480 [upbeat bass music] 250 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,080 Morning, Frank. Toast? 251 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,920 Yeah. 252 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,360 If it's no trouble. 253 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,240 [Patty] No trouble at all. 254 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,040 I don't think so, sunshine! 255 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,640 [Patty] No trouble at all. 256 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,480 [puffs] 257 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,960 -How dare you! -Fucking hell! 258 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,280 [Patty] You think Libby would give you a second glance 259 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,840 if she knew you stole my savings? 260 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,520 [Frank] Oh, yeah? And what about you? What is it for benefit fraud these days? 261 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,480 -Ten years. Max! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. -You... You give those back! 262 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,440 Are you never satisfied, woman? 263 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,760 [Frank] You've got a roof over your head. You'd be fucked if it wasn't for me! 264 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,360 Desolate! Homeless! 265 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,520 Doesn't give you the right to take my money! 266 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,680 [Frank] Oh, yes, it does, sunshine! And anyway, what's an old crow like you 267 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,240 gonna spend the money on? Fucking corn plasters? 268 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:32,480 I... am... your... landlord! Hey? Benefit cards. 269 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,600 Money. 270 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:34,560 It's mine. 271 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,280 Comprende? 272 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,760 [Mimi] Is this your idea of revenge, is it? 273 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,800 [Mimi scoffs] Not satisfied with ruinin' our first marriage, 274 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,880 You wanna fuck this one up as well! 275 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,960 I got distracted. 276 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:56,960 [Mimi scoffs] 277 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,000 Father Tony, a legitimate priest, 278 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,640 is tryin' to raise cash for his new church roof. 279 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,680 And I said we might be able to help him out. 280 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,760 [Mimi] You wanna put things right, meet me there at half ten. 281 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,320 Come on, shift! 282 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,800 [Paddy sighs heavily] 283 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,800 Mimi, Rosalita. Rosalita, Mimi. 284 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,360 Don't be late and leave the dog at home. 285 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,920 [Father Tony] I'll... be straight with ya. 286 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,520 I can't do it. 287 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,440 [Father Tony] It's against all we stand for here. You know that. 288 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,480 [Mimi] God won't mind. How could He mind? 289 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,840 [Father Tony] I can understand what this means to ya, 290 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,800 but a blessing from me won't take away the fact 291 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,840 that your children remain illegitimate. 292 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,040 [Paddy] With respect, Father, we didn't come here for a lecture. 293 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,840 -Don't! -You're supposed to be a man of religion. 294 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,800 [Paddy] An ambassador of goodwill? 295 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:52,800 What a load o' crap! 296 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,880 [Mimi] You can't say "crap" in church! 297 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,280 I'll say what I like, church or no church. 298 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,240 It wouldn't hurt you to help us out, would it? 299 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,840 [Father Tony] Let's cut to the chase, shall we? 300 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,319 We know all about you lot. 301 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,640 [Mimi] Us lot? 302 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,720 [Father Tony] Throwing your weight around the population of Chatsworth 303 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,400 doesn't mean you can throw it about around God. 304 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,079 Not here, pal. 305 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,200 -Who you callin' "pal"? -You don't scare me. 306 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,839 That's cos you've already got the fear of God 307 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,760 -firmly implanted up your-- -[Mimi] Paddy! 308 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,920 To think that someone would actually dress up and try imitate this hypocrisy. 309 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,280 It's not his fault! 310 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,480 You should leave. 311 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:34,680 Now! 312 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,440 [Mimi] I should've had an abortion when I had the chance, 313 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,280 cos you're not fit to be a father! 314 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:43,960 I'm sorry, Jesus. 315 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,880 [Mimi] I... I didn't mean what I said about the abortion. 316 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,200 I'd have had a hundred of his kids. 317 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,000 I'll say ten Hail Mary's. 318 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,840 -You're not stayin' for a brew, hot lips? -Is there any point? 319 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,000 I like ya. 320 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,600 I like you, too, if you must know. 321 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,960 You could at least leave me your number. 322 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,880 What, so I can keep checking me phone and wonder why you've not called? 323 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,360 [Gary] It's not my style. 324 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,600 You call me, then. 325 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:35,960 [Gary] Later. 326 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,560 Let's go for a drink. Nothing heavy. 327 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:45,840 Hmm? 328 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,000 [Micky chuckles] 329 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:00,960 [Micky] Sorry I'm late. 330 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,520 Been stinging some fit bird. 331 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,720 -Oh, aye? What's his name? -[Paddy] Right. The Reilly's. 332 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,040 Old pals o' mine. 333 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,480 [Paddy] They got a few burger vans dotted about the place. 334 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,840 [Paddy] Some new firm's been treadin' on their patch, up at Hilltop. 335 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,560 They're payin' us to get rid of 'em. 336 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,320 What? 337 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,480 We know. 338 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,200 We're already on to it. 339 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,400 It was Mam's suggestion. 340 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,520 Wanted to make sure we handle the business side of things here from now on. 341 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,480 My contact, though. 342 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,520 But you're goin' away, though. 343 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,680 -Anything else? -No, not at the moment. 344 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,200 -Right then. -Huh. Best be gettin' off. 345 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:46,000 [anticipatory music] 346 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,160 [Micky] Gary? I was just wondering, um, d'you fancy that drink? 347 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,800 I mean, just a drink, y'know, nowt else. 348 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,720 Although that's up to you. [chuckles] I'm easy. 349 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,080 But listen, if you're busy 'n that, it's no hassle. 350 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,400 Y'know, I mean, there's plenty o' other stuff I've gotta do, like, um... 351 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,440 like, uh... 352 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,160 Well, I've gotta go to the doctor's. 353 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,920 Uh, not that I've got herpes or nothin', y'know, it's just like, uh, uh, a medical 354 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,800 that once every six months check-- 355 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,760 [church bells tolling] 356 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,280 [knock at door] 357 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,400 Thought I'd cheer meself up with a bit o' make-believe 358 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,680 cos that's all our marriage was. Fiction. 359 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,800 [sighs heavily] It was real for us. 360 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,160 [Shane] Tell him he's got two days. 361 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,120 If he's not shifted by then, things are gonna get really nasty. 362 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,000 Right, yeah. 363 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,160 Oi! I thought we told you to be gone by Wednesday! 364 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,680 You takin' the piss or what? 365 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,240 Since when did architects flip burgers? 366 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,240 [Mimi] Did you ever love me or did you just marry me 367 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,720 -because it was the right thing to do? -'Course I loved ya. 368 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,920 -Ireland? Why, exactly? -Business. 369 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:20,880 Or pleasure? 370 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,040 You've got some slut tucked back in the homeland, haven't ya? 371 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,520 [Gary] I just wanted to impress. 372 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,680 -What, is this your credit control? -[car horn tooting] 373 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,640 A branch of it, yeah. The flat? 374 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,800 It's me brother's. 375 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,000 I'm mindin' it till he gets back next week. 376 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,000 So, you were just stringing me along with all your lies. 377 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,960 -It's that fuckin' Arlene, isn't it? -[Paddy] Arlene? 378 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,720 -Cousin Arlene? [chuckles] -Away enough times on business. 379 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,160 You were never here for the birth of any of our kids. 380 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:54,280 -You could even have a second family! -You've lost it, ya mad bitch! 381 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,520 [Gary] Well, you know everything now. I haven't got any more secrets. 382 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,120 [Shane] Micky! 383 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,680 Look, just leg it. He's a proper mental bastard. He'll fuck you up! 384 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,480 Can't you tell him that you know me? 385 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,040 -[Gary] Tell him about us? -Look, I said leg it! 386 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,160 I'm not the only one with a secret, am I? 387 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,840 [Micky grunts] 388 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,480 I've given him 48 hours. He'll be gone, all right. 389 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,960 You better find a priest to marry us, so we can get divorced. 390 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,200 Because if I have to find one, I swear, Paddy, 391 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:47,160 it'll be to perform the viaticum before packin' you in a box back to Ireland! 392 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,040 [tense music] 393 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,160 I didn't think I'd see you again. 394 00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,080 Look, I panicked! [stammers] 395 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,360 [Gary] A box of choccies or some flowers woulda been nice. 396 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,360 Why didn't you tell me you were a Maguire? 397 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,560 Well, does it matter? 398 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,760 No. Not at all. 399 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,560 -So, you don't mind about the... -What? This? 400 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,720 Nah. 401 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,280 You can give me another one later, if you like. 402 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:33,600 [Micky smirks] 403 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,240 -So, we're still boyfriends, then? -God, yeah! 404 00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,840 I'm shagging Paddy Maguire! 405 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,200 Just promise me you'll keep it stum. 406 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:57,760 Now, y'know how it is, I like to keep a low profile. 407 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,880 [Micky] Yeah? 408 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,160 -Paddy? -[Micky] Yeah? 409 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,200 When me brother gets back, I'm gonna be homeless. 410 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,800 I wanted to ask if I can stay at yours. 411 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,400 Look, I know we've only been together for a couple o' days, 412 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,560 but it doesn't have to be heavy. 413 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,160 Thanks. 414 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,080 [Gary] Just think of it as kippin' on the sofa. 415 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,960 -But you'd be in my bed? -[Gary] Yeah? 416 00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,160 Top, innit? 417 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,200 I thought we were just havin' a bit o' fun. 418 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,240 [Gary] Yeah, we are. Aren't we? 419 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,840 Yeah. 420 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,240 So, let me kip at yours, then. 421 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,040 Keep things like this. 422 00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,080 [Gary] Why mess with the momentum? 423 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,160 [tense music] 424 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,640 [Gary] I'm shagging Paddy Maguire. 425 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,120 ["Champagne Supernova" by Oasis playing] 426 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,280 What's with the face? 427 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,000 Nothin' much. 428 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,320 I just fucked up, that's all. 429 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,520 I've said somethin' I shouldn't've and it's too late to put it right. 430 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,840 Take it from me. It's never too late to put things right. 431 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,640 What about you and Mam? 432 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,680 I know what I did was wrong and I live with a lot o' regrets, but what can I do? 433 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,440 Let it cripple me? What's the point in that? 434 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:40,920 Got a life to live. 435 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:41,960 Have to make it work. 436 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,560 Do you regret... 437 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:49,000 Mam? 438 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,000 I could never regret that, son. 439 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,520 Where's the fuckin' fire? 440 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,560 Civic Hall's got a slot. 441 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,320 -When? -Four o'clock today. 442 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:17,240 He's been helpin' me. 443 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,320 -Listen! -[Bruce] All right! All right! 444 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,840 What exactly is it you want me to do? 445 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,560 Gonna be there when he takes you up the aisle. 446 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,040 [Paddy] He's gonna be best man. 447 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,400 And maid of honour. 448 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,600 Right. I'd best start. Shitloads to sort. 449 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,680 Could at least look happy about it. 450 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,000 Civic... Hall? 451 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,120 I did the best I could on short notice. 452 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,000 But we're religious! 453 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,240 [Father Tony] Patrick, please! Patrick! 454 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,240 We do this or we don't. Your call. 455 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,880 [Mimi] I know what your game is. 456 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,160 Because of my faith, you thought I'd call it off. 457 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,320 [Mimi] Not gonna work. 458 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:06,280 [Mimi] We're gettin' married at four o'clock today whether you like it or not! 459 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,000 Am I makin' myself clear? 460 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,920 [suspenseful music] 461 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,400 [upbeat music] 462 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,440 -[Patty] Excuse me! -Oh, I don't think so. 463 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,880 [Patty] What? What're you? Do you mind? 464 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,480 Libby! 465 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,480 -Well? -[Patty sighs] 466 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,560 [Patty sighs scornfully] 467 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,640 Tony Barton. 468 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,120 [Patty] Remember him? 469 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,720 He knew you since you were a wee bubby. 470 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,400 They gave him four months to live, poor bastard. 471 00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,440 He came straight round, 472 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,760 signed it over to me. 473 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,240 As far as they know, he's still alive. 474 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,720 [Patty] The system paid us nothing when you father dumped me 475 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,680 and left the two of us alone and skint. 476 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,200 I do this for you and me. 477 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,440 Who-who do you think's been paying for your extra medication all these years? 478 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,080 [Patty] It's my revenge! 479 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,840 [Patty] You understand that, don't cha? 480 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,000 Well, Frank violated that arrangement. 481 00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,040 He deserved it. 482 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,000 [sighs] I did it to save ya. 483 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,920 -From what? -That joker! 484 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,480 When are you gonna realize that he's the man I love? 485 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,560 You love his family! 486 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,960 You've still got them! Stop complaining! 487 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,000 [Libby] Liam, your dad's been arrested. 488 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,240 I know. Carl told me. Laters. 489 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:56,960 [door shutting] 490 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,040 I need money to bail him out, Mother! Where is it? 491 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,920 Where is the money? 492 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,640 [laughs] Over my dead body! 493 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,840 [Patty laughs] 494 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,640 She just doesn't want me to be happy! 495 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,640 Every time! Dunno what's wrong with her! 496 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,800 Well, y'know, we could put her in a home... 497 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,480 y'know, or euthanasia. One way ticket in a cuckoo clock. 498 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,200 Look, the minute you bail us out of here, babe, 499 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:25,520 that's what we'll do, hey? 500 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,600 We can't afford the bail. 501 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,640 What! 502 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,200 Fuckin' no! 503 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,720 They'll cart me off to prison if we can't pay! 504 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,040 Fuckin' hell! I can't cope in prison! You don't know what it's like! 505 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,000 [sighs heavily] 506 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,400 Well, okay, you do. 507 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,600 Your mother has got money stashed away somewhere. 508 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,400 Just find it! Just get me out of here! 509 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,520 [Libby] I'll see what I can do, but I might need a bit of time. 510 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,360 Oh! Fuckin' time 511 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,640 Mine's runnin' out! Y'know what? 512 00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,400 They're transferrin' some fuckin nutter from another prison 513 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,320 to my holding cell before his trial. 514 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:05,400 Calls himself Shit Burglar or Burger or somethin' like that. 515 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,160 He... his last five cellmates... 516 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,120 An' if I don't get out of here soon, I'm gonna be number six, aren't I? 517 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:17,800 Crisis. 518 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,440 Mam's gettin' married today. I heard her tellin' Dad. 519 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,920 -What? Who the hell to? -That new fella! 520 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,600 What, the one from the supermarket? Jack Beam? 521 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,280 They've only been on a couple o' dates! 522 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,760 -[Jamie] We've not even met this bloke! -What is she playin' at? 523 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:32,800 She's on the rebound! 524 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,600 -[Jamie] What's Dad said? -Well, he didn't look best pleased. 525 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,280 It's not really any of his business, now they're divorced. 526 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:39,640 It is, if he still loves her! 527 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,480 Yeah, and what makes ya think that? 528 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,840 Apart from the fact you've never left your mam's tit! 529 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,280 Somethin' he said, actually. 530 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:53,240 He got all emotional and like, misty-eyed over Mam before. 531 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,760 Look, we've gotta stop it for Mam as much as Dad. 532 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,480 [Karen] She needs to make her own mistakes, Micky. 533 00:30:58,560 --> 00:30:59,640 It's been a week, Karen! 534 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,200 I mean, ain't gettin' married after a week more than just a mistake? 535 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,360 Who is this geezer? Where does he live? 536 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:19,800 Gorgeous. 537 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:31,840 Ready? 538 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:41,000 [all J. Beams grunting] 539 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,240 Is that the last? 540 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,440 [Micky] Sorted. 541 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,000 [all J. Beams grunting] 542 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,760 [Jamie sighs] You cock! You didn't turn the page over! 543 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,960 -Bollocks! -[Shane] Fuckin' hell! 544 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,880 There's only one option left. C'mon. 545 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,280 [Bruce] Love is patient. 546 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:01,600 Love is kind and not jealous. 547 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,720 Love does not brag and is not arrogant. 548 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,600 [quietly] Did you choose these words? 549 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:07,760 [whispers] Did I fuck! 550 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:09,920 [clears throat] 551 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,240 [Bruce] Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness. 552 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,360 Love rejoices in the truth. 553 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,520 [fast paced chase music] 554 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,880 [Bruce] Love endures all things. 555 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,160 Love is not provoked, 556 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,280 does not take into account wrongs suffered. 557 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,800 [Micky] Wait! Mam! 558 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,400 Mam? 559 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,680 -Dad? -What the fuck? 560 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,720 Look, I'm sorry, it's not what ya... 561 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:40,640 I love your mother. 562 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,240 I couldn't let her go. 563 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,480 We... 564 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,240 Both made big mistakes, but... 565 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,960 [Micky] I think I speak for all of us... 566 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,560 When I say thank you. 567 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:53,720 This... 568 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,920 Is the happiest day of my life. 569 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,280 [Micky] Our lives. 570 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,160 I love you, Mimi. 571 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,520 [clears throat] Sorry. 572 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,000 [woman] I now pronounce you man and wife. 573 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,000 [Irish dance music playing] 574 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,320 Think because Frank's not here things'll go back to the way they were? 575 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:35,160 Not happenin'! 576 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,000 [dramatic music] 577 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:01,960 [jail gate shuts] 578 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,200 -Here you go, love. -Thank you. 579 00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:11,840 [upbeat music] 580 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,600 [dramatic music] 581 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:47,320 [zipper] 582 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,360 ["The Band Played Waltzing Matilda" by The Pogues playing] 583 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,000 [cheering] 584 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,840 ["Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas] 585 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:12,240 ♪ Gotta get that Boom boom boom ♪ 586 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:16,320 I know my son, and I know when he's distracted by something. 587 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,760 Why don't you ask her over for tea? 588 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,240 God, Micky, she's not a fuckin' vegan, is she? 589 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,560 No, but... 590 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,720 -Have you told her ya love her yet? -Nah. 591 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,400 Don't you think it's about time ya did? 592 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,720 I think I fucked it up by tellin' a few lies. 593 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,400 And she's fallen for it? 594 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,040 [Mimi] If you want the relationship to work, tell her the truth. 595 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,080 [Mimi] It's the only basis for a solid future. 596 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,080 She must like you for you. 597 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,000 ♪ I've got that boom boom boom... ♪ 598 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,560 [indistinct chatter] 599 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,720 [Karen] Okay, everyone! I think it's probably time 600 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,640 that the happy couple had a little bit of time on their own. 601 00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:59,000 -Yeah! You can have your own room back! -[laughter] 602 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,920 [indistinct cheering, chatter] 603 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,080 [banging] 604 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,000 [banging, squeaking] 605 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,600 [Mimi] My arse is in bulk! 606 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,720 [Paddy] Don't ruin the momentum! 607 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,520 -How're we gonna get outta this one? -I don't know. 608 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,440 -You should've just told 'em the truth. -What?! Oh, aye. 609 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,920 "Sons! We found out our marriage wasn't real, 610 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,520 but we got married again so you'd all be legitimised." 611 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:38,000 D'you know how fucked up that sounds? Nothin's changed. I still want a divorce. 612 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,520 -Okay. -[Paddy] And I'm still leavin' tomorrow. 613 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,120 [emotive music] 614 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:52,800 -[disco music playing] -[indistinct chatter, laughter] 615 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,440 Here y'are. Get on this! I just got a call. 616 00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,040 You know that prick on the burger van? 617 00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,640 He's only been blagging to people that he's shagging Paddy Maguire! 618 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,960 Fuckin' cock! 619 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,400 [dramatic music] 620 00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,240 How could you betray me? 621 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,520 I had no choice. 622 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,560 Just tell me where the money is and I'll post your bail. 623 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:24,920 Dead... simple. 624 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:26,880 Over my dead body. 625 00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:31,720 The, the basin! 626 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:33,960 Of my commode. 627 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:38,640 -Libby. -[door shuts] 628 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:40,200 [louder] Libby! 629 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:44,160 [sighs] 630 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:55,640 Oh, my God. 631 00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:58,680 Our honeymoon. 632 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,000 [Mimi sighs] 633 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,840 You carried that round in your pocket for two years, y'know. 634 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,760 Got a confession to make. 635 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,440 [Mimi] It's not from Giant's Causeway. 636 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,040 Our Shane got the real one stuck up his nose, 637 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,000 when you was away in Belfast. 638 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,520 Nearly had a thrombo. 639 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,040 Got our Jamie to go out and find another stone when we got back. 640 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,560 So, I walked around with this in my pocket for nothin', then. [chuckles] 641 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,520 [Paddy] I wouldn't let you wash this, remember? 642 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:38,640 Oh, God. 643 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:40,560 My tears. 644 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,760 You wanted to keep my tears. 645 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,560 The day Lennon was shot. 646 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,000 Nothin' to do with Lennon. 647 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,480 [Mimi] Our Jamie said his first word that day. "Mam." 648 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:52,920 His first word was "Da." 649 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,000 Mandy's first word was "Dad". 650 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,800 [emotive music] 651 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,880 -[Gary] Cheers, mate. Thanks very much. -[customer] Cheers. 652 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,040 Feel good shaggin' the cock o' Chatsworth? Hey? 653 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,600 [Micky] You shoutin' the odds off about me! I said, "Keep stum," didn't I? 654 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,960 Well, Paddy, listen-- 655 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,360 I'm not Paddy Maguire, okay? 656 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,920 -What? -I'm tired with the lies! 657 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,840 With mine, yours, everyone else's! It's not worth it! 658 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,120 [Micky] Look, you wanna know the truth? 659 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,360 I'm a closet poofter who wears furry slippers! 660 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,240 I file me toenails! I like "The Waltons"! No! 661 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,360 I love... "The Waltons". 662 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,920 And I had a dog what used to suck me off! 663 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,160 So, you still wanna go out, then? 664 00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:51,680 -Hey? -You're not Paddy? 665 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:53,720 Yeah, I thought not. 666 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,920 Get this van out of here by midnight or I'll fuckin' scalp ya! 667 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,080 [Gary breathes heavily] 668 00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,120 Which was hers? 669 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,920 They were all hers. 670 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,000 We did all right, you and me, y'know. 671 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,000 -I know, love. -There were good days. 672 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,240 We were a brilliant family. 673 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:50,280 We are... 674 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,240 A brilliant family. 675 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,480 I'm sorry I couldn't make it work. 676 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,320 -[whispers] Keep it, Paddy. -No. 677 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,520 [Paddy sniffs] 678 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:10,680 You keep it. 679 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,480 It'll remind you of how it used to be. 680 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:16,720 That life we had. 681 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:24,000 [emotive music] 682 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,200 [Mimi] You're a good dad. 683 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,480 Deep down in there, you're a good man. 684 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,040 What the fuck are you doing? 685 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,040 What does it look like? 686 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,200 Makin' a mistake! 687 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,640 [Micky] I know your marriage is a sham! 688 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,280 I heard you both. 689 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,080 Talkin' about divorce and Ireland. 690 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,440 Look, don't try and deny it. 691 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,960 [Micky] Mum, you told me the only basis for a solid relationship 692 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:16,160 is the truth. 693 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,040 So, is this because it's love... 694 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,120 Or just because it's easy? 695 00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,920 Just do the right thing. 696 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,000 Not for us, or anyone else... 697 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:38,280 But for you. 698 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,320 We'll love ya no matter what. 699 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:01,400 [Frank] Way! [chuckles] 700 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,120 Y'know, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it, mate. 701 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,600 I mean, if we're all really honest 702 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,400 wouldn't take that much for us to murder one of our kids. 703 00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,200 Most of us might stop at dismembering, though. 704 00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,240 [Frank] Y'know? 705 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,040 [laughing] I'm only I'm only fuckin' with ya! 706 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,520 [Frank] Come on! Come on. Your deal. 707 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,480 -Love. -Hey. 708 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,600 -Gonna let Mum stew for a while... -All right. 709 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,920 ...and you and me, sweetheart, are goin' out gallivanting. 710 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,680 Oh! I fuckin' love you, Libby Croker! 711 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:51,000 [Mimi] The first date I had with Paddy, I was wearin' this little black dress. 712 00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:55,840 [Mimi] I looked great. He knew it and I knew it. 713 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:57,920 What're you gonna tell the other two? 714 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,600 Don't worry about them. They're used to you disappearin' 715 00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,520 and me just bein' around. 716 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,760 [Mimi] Wore that dress again for our first anniversary. 717 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,000 [Mimi] Couldn't get into it for the second. Or third. 718 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,480 I didn't chuck it out, though. Hung on to it for years, 719 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,840 tellin' meself that one day it'd fit again. 720 00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,640 Ain't never did. 721 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:35,400 It was in the wardrobe years, just hangin'. Waitin'. 722 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:36,840 Goodbye, Mimi. 723 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,440 [emotive music] 724 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,000 [Mimi] In the end, I had to admit defeat and let it go. 725 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,240 It just didn't fit anymore. 726 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,920 Just didn't fit. 727 00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:58,960 I've been seeing someone else. 728 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:03,440 [Joe] I want your wife, who I've been fucking on and off for nearly a year. 729 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,960 One team of poofs stands between us and 1,000 quid. 730 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,080 [Ian] Got the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. 731 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:11,240 Everyone'll think I'm gay! 732 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,360 -Ah, fuck it. I don't mind. -Me neither. 733 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,040 [cries out] I think I've pulled something. 734 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,040 Something or someone? 735 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,760 Mr Arlington! 736 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,560 [Maxine giggles] 737 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,440 -Let's kill the cunt! -You don't know what he'll do. 738 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,240 He's a convicted fucking murderer. 739 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,080 [newsman] Elsewhere, police are investigating 740 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,880 a spate of disappearances in the Manchester area. 741 00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,040 They say it is a particularly unusual case, 742 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,840 as all the victims have the name "J. Beam". 743 00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,160 And in other news, rallies today continued outside the town hall. 744 00:46:22,240 --> 00:46:24,280 The message was clear... 745 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,240 Fuckin' love my kids. 55980

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