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1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360
[intro music]
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,040
[imitates train] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:16,320
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,520
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,000
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,040
[shouts] Stay away!
7
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:30,720
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
8
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,880
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
9
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,280
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented,
10
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,000
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
11
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,480
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
12
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,800
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
13
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,480
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
14
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,480
[all laughing]
15
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,480
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
16
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,360
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
17
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,080
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
19
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,840
[laughing]
20
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,360
Scatter!
21
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,720
Party!
22
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,760
[music fades out]
23
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,200
[Mimi] After all these years of marriage,
I can truly, hand on heart, say,
24
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,320
"Better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all."
25
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,720
What a load of bollocks.
26
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,320
Mimi.
27
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,520
Patrick.
28
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,680
It's what I need, Mimi.
New start, new challenges.
29
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,720
I know. For both of us.
30
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,600
C'mon, or we're gonna be late.
31
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,840
Patrick has had a brilliant business
opportunity offered to him in Ireland.
32
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,240
[Paddy] Nightclubs.
Two in Belfast, one in Lisburn.
33
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,880
I've always turned
the offer down before, because...
34
00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,400
it means relocating.
35
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,720
We wanna move on
with our lives separately.
36
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,960
It won't be necessary.
37
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,440
This wedding certificate...
I'm afraid to say it's fake.
38
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:09,720
You what?
39
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,080
[lawyer]
It's not worth the paper it's written on.
40
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,440
[Mimi] But we signed it.
At the church, with Father Jim.
41
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,520
Therein lies the problem.
42
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:21,440
[policeman] Come 'ere,
ya fuckin' fraudster! Come 'ere!
43
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,200
-[policeman gasping]
-[Father Jim gasping]
44
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,800
Father Jim wasn't a Father?
45
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,720
-[lawyer] Not according to Interpol.
-And this means?
46
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,560
[lawyer] You, um,
can't actually be granted a divorce...
47
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,440
because you were never married.
48
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,520
[yells] You what?
49
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,880
[Libby]
Carl, give me a ring as soon as you can.
50
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,680
[Libby] Ah!
51
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,240
Good timing. Stella's having an afternoon
nap, we're late enough as it is.
52
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,760
-For what?
-Book club.
53
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,720
Oh, fuckin' hell! Till when?
54
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,680
[sighs] Willy Wonka's on telly at five.
55
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,360
-She'll love that.
-Fuckin' delightful!
56
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,080
-That'll be all right then, won't it? Yes?
-And if you're good...
57
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,560
I might go by the offy on the way home,
grab you a four-pack.
58
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,240
-[Frank] Just give us a few quid...
-[Libby] No.
59
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,320
For some cigs.
Haven't had a smoke in over three hours.
60
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,440
-[Libby] No!
-[Frank] Come on!
61
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,760
You need to tell him
you're not a cash cow.
62
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,880
-Stay out of it, Mother!
-Milkin' ya dry!
63
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,760
[Frank] Yeah, stay out of it, Moth--
Bet she's got some cash stashed away.
64
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,000
Balance your budget
with more conviction, Frank.
65
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,360
-[Frank] And?
-And...
66
00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,480
I might take a look at
increasing your overdraft. Okay, sir?
67
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,240
Stella's asleep in her cot.
[door slamming]
68
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:24,160
[Stella cries]
69
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:29,880
In the eyes of God,
I'm no better than a fuckin' prossy!
70
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,640
And what about Mandy and Fergal?
71
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,960
[Mimi] Denied access
through the Pearly Gates!
72
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,320
[Mimi] Stuck up there in purgatory
forever! Whose fault's that?
73
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,760
The prick that dressed in a cassock
and pretended to be a priest!
74
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,360
Wrong answer.
75
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,280
It's your fault!
76
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,360
What?
77
00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,640
I wouldn't wipe me own arse with this!
78
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,120
[spluttering sounds]
79
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,560
Get out!
80
00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,240
-Where did you find Father Jim?
-I can't remember. I don't know.
81
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,400
He was a friend of a client.
I was in a rush. You made me rush.
82
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,760
Because I didn't wanna walk down the aisle
in me third trimester!
83
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:07,800
[Mimi] That's why!
84
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,440
[Mimi] You did it on purpose.
85
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,600
Are you takin' the piss?
86
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,200
-How was I supposed to know?
-[Mimi] It all makes sense now!
87
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,200
You thought I was trickin' you
into gettin' married,
88
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,720
so you picked any ol' Tom, Dick or Jim
just to shut me up.
89
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,640
[Mimi] And the kids...
They're all bastards!
90
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,040
Tell me something I don't know.
91
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:30,960
[tyres screeching]
92
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:34,160
-[Mimi] We'll have to get married again.
-[Paddy] What?
93
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,320
-We'll have to get married again.
-No. No.
94
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,040
You wanted this divorce, and how can we,
95
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,280
if because of you,
we were never married in the first place?
96
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,360
We do it properly this time, Paddy...
For the kids' sake!
97
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,120
[Mimi] No one need
know shit all about this.
98
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:57,920
As far as anyone's concerned,
the divorce has gone through,
99
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,280
and we're happy as Larry.
100
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,120
Have to meet me tonight,
away from here, to sort this out.
101
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,560
So much for being amicable.
102
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,480
-[pop music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]
103
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,720
-Hi, everybody!
-All right, Dad?
104
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,560
Aye, top of the world, son!
105
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,200
It's official, I'm a free man.
106
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,000
And more importantly, I'm a free woman.
107
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,520
You all right?
108
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,000
Just needs to sink in.
109
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,680
It's not as if they've only just split up.
110
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:38,600
Not that they're split up
just that we're all orphans.
111
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,680
[Stella crying]
112
00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,840
[Stella crying]
113
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,040
[microwave dings]
114
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,800
[Frank coughs]
115
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,440
-[Stella continues crying]
-Fuck!
116
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,680
-You okay?
-Never better.
117
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,280
Even got meself a date later.
118
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,600
Fantastic! Who's the lucky fella?
119
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,480
Met him last week
in the ready meal section in Tesco.
120
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,400
-What's he like?
-Fucking gorgeous.
121
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,080
What's his name?
122
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,240
Uh, Jack Beam.
123
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,200
[cheering]
124
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,000
[Ian] ...said he'd only buy it
if I got my cock out.
125
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,480
-[Maxine] No way! [giggles]
-[Ian] Seriously! [laughs]
126
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,800
[Ian] That's what he said!
127
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,840
-[Ian laughs]
-[Maxine giggles]
128
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,680
[Micky sighs]
129
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,240
It's understandable if you feel bad
about your mum and dad, y'know?
130
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,560
We used to have to eat together
every Sunday.
131
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,840
Dad was never home in the week,
and Sundays was the only day he was.
132
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,280
Even if it was just
fish finger butties, it didn't matter,
133
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,320
so long as we was all there
round the table.
134
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,040
Me favourite time of the whole week.
135
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,800
Some people never have what you had.
136
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:19,840
[Maxine] Move on.
137
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,080
That's just life. That's what families do.
138
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,720
What's the point in marriage or families
if they're always gonna collapse anyway?
139
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,000
But you can't say that.
140
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,200
Yeah, I can.
141
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,440
Rather not bother
if it's all gonna go tits up.
142
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:31,880
Save meself the mither.
143
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,440
Stick to bein' single.
144
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,240
-[Ian] Come on. We're goin' out.
-What?
145
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,760
Don't argue. Just get ready.
146
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,040
["Beautiful Ones" by Suede playing]
♪ ...psycho for drum machine ♪
147
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,440
♪ Shaking their bits to the hits ♪
148
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:55,000
♪ Oh, drag acts, drug acts, suicides ♪
149
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,320
♪ in your dad's suits ya hide ♪
150
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,160
♪ Staining his name again ♪
151
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:05,280
♪ Oh, cracked up, stacked up, 22,
psycho... ♪
152
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,040
[Frank] Well, that's a good little girl,
Stella. Your brother'll be back soon.
153
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,800
[Frank] Daddy won't be long, sweetheart.
154
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,280
[Frank] Fuckin' hell!
Where the fuck'd you put it?
155
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,920
[Fast paced bass music]
156
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,919
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
157
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,560
[fast paced rock music]
158
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,040
-Back by midnight or you're grounded.
-Too much cleavage?
159
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,520
Takin' the piss?
160
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,240
You can never have enough cleavage.
161
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,200
I beg to differ.
162
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:57,840
See you later.
163
00:08:59,080 --> 00:08:59,920
See you, Mum.
164
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,920
Shane! C'mon.
165
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,880
Dad's house. Lads' night in.
166
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:16,920
-[lads cheering]
-What the fuck?
167
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,840
[lad 1] Here, Paddy!
168
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,400
-[Jamie] Get that beer in ya, Dad.
-[phone ringing]
169
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,560
Divorce parties
are all the rage nowadays, Dad!
170
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,440
[indistinct chatter, yelling]
171
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,560
[lad 2] Cheers, lads!
172
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,520
-Cheers!
-[lads cheering]
173
00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,920
Party!
174
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,720
What the fuck are we celebrating?
175
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,960
-Rosalita?
-[chuckles] No.
176
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,520
[Herbert] Okay. Okay, I know.
177
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,520
The barnet. Before you say it...
178
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,480
It is dyed.
179
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,000
But I prefer to use the word "coloured".
180
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,280
I'm not Rosali--
181
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,600
[man] May've shaved a few years off me age
182
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,760
but if I'd told the truth
you might not turn up.
183
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,920
And, oh...
184
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,720
And I added
just a few inches to me height.
185
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,000
What do you think?
Good enough for Tom Cruise?
186
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,520
-Excuse me?
-It's me! Herbert!
187
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,640
I'm... Not... Rosalita.
188
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,240
I never will be Rosalita.
Do you understand?
189
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,320
Now, do me a favour,
you desperate piece of shit.
190
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,600
Do one!
191
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,720
Although, I prefer the words "Fuck off"!
192
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,920
[lads cheering loudly]
193
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,480
[suspenseful music]
194
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,000
[breathing heavily]
195
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,200
[woman] Herbert?
196
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:08,800
Rosalita.
197
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,920
Pleased to meet ya, Rosalita,
but I'm afraid I'm not Herbert.
198
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,160
You'll certainly do, though.
199
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,360
[Rosalita] So don't tell me
you've been stood up as well.
200
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:22,360
-Kind of.
-Can I get you a drink to make up for it?
201
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,000
-[Rosalita] Here we go. Gay?
-Ha!
202
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,280
[scoffs]
203
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,440
Married?
204
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,960
[scoffs] Might've known.
205
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,880
Actually... No. Not ever.
206
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:34,760
[mobile phone beeps]
207
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,400
Well, then... What's your problem?
208
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,400
Nothin', sweetheart.
209
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,720
It's just, normally,
I'm the one that buys the drinks.
210
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,400
-What would you like?
-A vodka lime 'n lemonade, please.
211
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,800
-Double?
-Why not?
212
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,120
Good.
213
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:56,480
[heavy dance music playing]
214
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,080
I'll get these.
215
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
216
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,000
How to put someone off
in ten seconds, y'know,
217
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,400
next I'll be askin' if ya come here often.
218
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,760
[chuckles]
Or would you prefer the funny angle?
219
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,760
If this bar is a meat market,
you must be the prime rib.
220
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:27,920
It's not funny, though.
221
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,600
Someone actually said that to me once.
222
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,200
-What, you serious?
-On my life.
223
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,520
Proper dick.
224
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,120
I'm Gary.
225
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,200
[Gary] C'mon through.
226
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,760
[Gary] There's beer in the fridge.
Help yourself.
227
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,600
-[Gary] Did it all meself.
-What?
228
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,680
[Gary] This place. Did it meself.
229
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,480
It's mint!
230
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:22,080
-I'm an architect.
-Yeah?
231
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,320
[Gary] What about you?
232
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,600
-I've got me own company.
-Ah, doin' what?
233
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,720
[Micky] Credit control.
Y'know, high end o' the market.
234
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,240
Y'know, big rewards
on the back o' the credit crunch.
235
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,960
It can be ruthless, but... I love it.
236
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,200
Yeah, sounds like you do.
237
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,200
Y'know, people always said
I'd never do anything with my life.
238
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,800
Y'know, so I wanted
to prove 'em all wrong.
239
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,240
Yeah. So I did.
240
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,760
Go on! Out, ya bastards!
241
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,200
Look, we warned ya! Slag.
242
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,000
Nowt wrong with ambition.
243
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,040
So? What're you into?
244
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,880
Just a snog to start with.
245
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,440
Bit o' massage, some oral I prefer a 69,
246
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:06,440
but I don't usually go in for penetration
on the first date unless maybe anal beads.
247
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,000
-Y'know, if you've got 'em.
-I meant music.
248
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,000
Oh.
249
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,480
[upbeat bass music]
250
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,080
Morning, Frank. Toast?
251
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:25,920
Yeah.
252
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,360
If it's no trouble.
253
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,240
[Patty] No trouble at all.
254
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,040
I don't think so, sunshine!
255
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,640
[Patty] No trouble at all.
256
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,480
[puffs]
257
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,960
-How dare you!
-Fucking hell!
258
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,280
[Patty] You think Libby would give you
a second glance
259
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,840
if she knew you stole my savings?
260
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,520
[Frank] Oh, yeah? And what about you?
What is it for benefit fraud these days?
261
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,480
-Ten years. Max! Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
-You... You give those back!
262
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,440
Are you never satisfied, woman?
263
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,760
[Frank] You've got a roof over your head.
You'd be fucked if it wasn't for me!
264
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,360
Desolate! Homeless!
265
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,520
Doesn't give you the right
to take my money!
266
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,680
[Frank] Oh, yes, it does, sunshine!
And anyway, what's an old crow like you
267
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,240
gonna spend the money on?
Fucking corn plasters?
268
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:32,480
I... am... your... landlord!
Hey? Benefit cards.
269
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,600
Money.
270
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:34,560
It's mine.
271
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,280
Comprende?
272
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,760
[Mimi] Is this your idea
of revenge, is it?
273
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,800
[Mimi scoffs] Not satisfied
with ruinin' our first marriage,
274
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,880
You wanna fuck this one up as well!
275
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:55,960
I got distracted.
276
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:56,960
[Mimi scoffs]
277
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,000
Father Tony, a legitimate priest,
278
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,640
is tryin' to raise cash
for his new church roof.
279
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,680
And I said
we might be able to help him out.
280
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,760
[Mimi] You wanna put things right,
meet me there at half ten.
281
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,320
Come on, shift!
282
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,800
[Paddy sighs heavily]
283
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,800
Mimi, Rosalita. Rosalita, Mimi.
284
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,360
Don't be late and leave the dog at home.
285
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,920
[Father Tony] I'll... be straight with ya.
286
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,520
I can't do it.
287
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,440
[Father Tony] It's against
all we stand for here. You know that.
288
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,480
[Mimi] God won't mind. How could He mind?
289
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,840
[Father Tony] I can understand what this
means to ya,
290
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,800
but a blessing from me
won't take away the fact
291
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,840
that your children
remain illegitimate.
292
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,040
[Paddy] With respect, Father,
we didn't come here for a lecture.
293
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,840
-Don't!
-You're supposed to be a man of religion.
294
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,800
[Paddy] An ambassador of goodwill?
295
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:52,800
What a load o' crap!
296
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,880
[Mimi] You can't say "crap" in church!
297
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,280
I'll say what I like, church or no church.
298
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,240
It wouldn't hurt you to help us out,
would it?
299
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,840
[Father Tony] Let's cut
to the chase, shall we?
300
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,319
We know all about you lot.
301
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,640
[Mimi] Us lot?
302
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,720
[Father Tony] Throwing your weight
around the population of Chatsworth
303
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,400
doesn't mean
you can throw it about around God.
304
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,079
Not here, pal.
305
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,200
-Who you callin' "pal"?
-You don't scare me.
306
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:16,839
That's cos you've already got
the fear of God
307
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,760
-firmly implanted up your--
-[Mimi] Paddy!
308
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,920
To think that someone would actually
dress up and try imitate this hypocrisy.
309
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,280
It's not his fault!
310
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,480
You should leave.
311
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:34,680
Now!
312
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,440
[Mimi] I should've had an abortion
when I had the chance,
313
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,280
cos you're not fit to be a father!
314
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:43,960
I'm sorry, Jesus.
315
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,880
[Mimi] I... I didn't mean what I said
about the abortion.
316
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,200
I'd have had a hundred of his kids.
317
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,000
I'll say ten Hail Mary's.
318
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,840
-You're not stayin' for a brew, hot lips?
-Is there any point?
319
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,000
I like ya.
320
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,600
I like you, too, if you must know.
321
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,960
You could at least leave me your number.
322
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,880
What, so I can keep checking me phone
and wonder why you've not called?
323
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,360
[Gary] It's not my style.
324
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,600
You call me, then.
325
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:35,960
[Gary] Later.
326
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,560
Let's go for a drink. Nothing heavy.
327
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:45,840
Hmm?
328
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,000
[Micky chuckles]
329
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:00,960
[Micky] Sorry I'm late.
330
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,520
Been stinging some fit bird.
331
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,720
-Oh, aye? What's his name?
-[Paddy] Right. The Reilly's.
332
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,040
Old pals o' mine.
333
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,480
[Paddy] They got a few burger vans
dotted about the place.
334
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,840
[Paddy] Some new firm's been treadin'
on their patch, up at Hilltop.
335
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,560
They're payin' us to get rid of 'em.
336
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,320
What?
337
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,480
We know.
338
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,200
We're already on to it.
339
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,400
It was Mam's suggestion.
340
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,520
Wanted to make sure we handle the business
side of things here from now on.
341
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,480
My contact, though.
342
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,520
But you're goin' away, though.
343
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,680
-Anything else?
-No, not at the moment.
344
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,200
-Right then.
-Huh. Best be gettin' off.
345
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:46,000
[anticipatory music]
346
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,160
[Micky] Gary? I was just wondering,
um, d'you fancy that drink?
347
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,800
I mean, just a drink, y'know, nowt else.
348
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,720
Although that's up to you.
[chuckles] I'm easy.
349
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,080
But listen, if you're busy 'n that,
it's no hassle.
350
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,400
Y'know, I mean, there's plenty
o' other stuff I've gotta do, like, um...
351
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,440
like, uh...
352
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,160
Well, I've gotta go to the doctor's.
353
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,920
Uh, not that I've got herpes or nothin',
y'know, it's just like, uh, uh, a medical
354
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,800
that once every six months check--
355
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,760
[church bells tolling]
356
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,280
[knock at door]
357
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,400
Thought I'd cheer meself up
with a bit o' make-believe
358
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,680
cos that's all our marriage was. Fiction.
359
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,800
[sighs heavily] It was real for us.
360
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,160
[Shane] Tell him he's got two days.
361
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,120
If he's not shifted by then,
things are gonna get really nasty.
362
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,000
Right, yeah.
363
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,160
Oi! I thought we told you
to be gone by Wednesday!
364
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:06,680
You takin' the piss or what?
365
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,240
Since when did architects flip burgers?
366
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,240
[Mimi] Did you ever love me
or did you just marry me
367
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,720
-because it was the right thing to do?
-'Course I loved ya.
368
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,920
-Ireland? Why, exactly?
-Business.
369
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:20,880
Or pleasure?
370
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,040
You've got some slut tucked back
in the homeland, haven't ya?
371
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,520
[Gary] I just wanted to impress.
372
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,680
-What, is this your credit control?
-[car horn tooting]
373
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,640
A branch of it, yeah. The flat?
374
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,800
It's me brother's.
375
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,000
I'm mindin' it
till he gets back next week.
376
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,000
So, you were just stringing me
along with all your lies.
377
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,960
-It's that fuckin' Arlene, isn't it?
-[Paddy] Arlene?
378
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,720
-Cousin Arlene? [chuckles]
-Away enough times on business.
379
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,160
You were never here for the birth
of any of our kids.
380
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:54,280
-You could even have a second family!
-You've lost it, ya mad bitch!
381
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,520
[Gary] Well, you know everything now.
I haven't got any more secrets.
382
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,120
[Shane] Micky!
383
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,680
Look, just leg it. He's a proper
mental bastard. He'll fuck you up!
384
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,480
Can't you tell him that you know me?
385
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,040
-[Gary] Tell him about us?
-Look, I said leg it!
386
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,160
I'm not the only one with a secret, am I?
387
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:18,840
[Micky grunts]
388
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,480
I've given him 48 hours.
He'll be gone, all right.
389
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,960
You better find a priest to marry us,
so we can get divorced.
390
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,200
Because if I have to find one,
I swear, Paddy,
391
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:47,160
it'll be to perform the viaticum before
packin' you in a box back to Ireland!
392
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,040
[tense music]
393
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,160
I didn't think I'd see you again.
394
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,080
Look, I panicked! [stammers]
395
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,360
[Gary] A box of choccies
or some flowers woulda been nice.
396
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,360
Why didn't you tell me you were a Maguire?
397
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,560
Well, does it matter?
398
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,760
No. Not at all.
399
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,560
-So, you don't mind about the...
-What? This?
400
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,720
Nah.
401
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,280
You can give me another one later,
if you like.
402
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:33,600
[Micky smirks]
403
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,240
-So, we're still boyfriends, then?
-God, yeah!
404
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,840
I'm shagging Paddy Maguire!
405
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,200
Just promise me you'll keep it stum.
406
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:57,760
Now, y'know how it is,
I like to keep a low profile.
407
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,880
[Micky] Yeah?
408
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,160
-Paddy?
-[Micky] Yeah?
409
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,200
When me brother gets back,
I'm gonna be homeless.
410
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,800
I wanted to ask if I can stay at yours.
411
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,400
Look, I know we've only been together
for a couple o' days,
412
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,560
but it doesn't have to be heavy.
413
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,160
Thanks.
414
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,080
[Gary] Just think of it as
kippin' on the sofa.
415
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,960
-But you'd be in my bed?
-[Gary] Yeah?
416
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,160
Top, innit?
417
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,200
I thought we were just havin'
a bit o' fun.
418
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,240
[Gary] Yeah, we are. Aren't we?
419
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,840
Yeah.
420
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,240
So, let me kip at yours, then.
421
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,040
Keep things like this.
422
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,080
[Gary] Why mess with the momentum?
423
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,160
[tense music]
424
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,640
[Gary] I'm shagging Paddy Maguire.
425
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,120
["Champagne Supernova" by Oasis playing]
426
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,280
What's with the face?
427
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,000
Nothin' much.
428
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,320
I just fucked up, that's all.
429
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,520
I've said somethin' I shouldn't've
and it's too late to put it right.
430
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,840
Take it from me.
It's never too late to put things right.
431
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,640
What about you and Mam?
432
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,680
I know what I did was wrong and I live
with a lot o' regrets, but what can I do?
433
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,440
Let it cripple me?
What's the point in that?
434
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:40,920
Got a life to live.
435
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:41,960
Have to make it work.
436
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:46,560
Do you regret...
437
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:49,000
Mam?
438
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,000
I could never regret that, son.
439
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,520
Where's the fuckin' fire?
440
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,560
Civic Hall's got a slot.
441
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,320
-When?
-Four o'clock today.
442
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:17,240
He's been helpin' me.
443
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,320
-Listen!
-[Bruce] All right! All right!
444
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,840
What exactly is it you want me to do?
445
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,560
Gonna be there
when he takes you up the aisle.
446
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,040
[Paddy] He's gonna be best man.
447
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,400
And maid of honour.
448
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,600
Right. I'd best start. Shitloads to sort.
449
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,680
Could at least look happy about it.
450
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,000
Civic... Hall?
451
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,120
I did the best I could on short notice.
452
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,000
But we're religious!
453
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,240
[Father Tony] Patrick, please! Patrick!
454
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,240
We do this or we don't. Your call.
455
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:55,880
[Mimi] I know what your game is.
456
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:59,160
Because of my faith,
you thought I'd call it off.
457
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,320
[Mimi] Not gonna work.
458
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:06,280
[Mimi] We're gettin' married at four
o'clock today whether you like it or not!
459
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,000
Am I makin' myself clear?
460
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,920
[suspenseful music]
461
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,400
[upbeat music]
462
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,440
-[Patty] Excuse me!
-Oh, I don't think so.
463
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,880
[Patty] What? What're you? Do you mind?
464
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,480
Libby!
465
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,480
-Well?
-[Patty sighs]
466
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:47,560
[Patty sighs scornfully]
467
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:54,640
Tony Barton.
468
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,120
[Patty] Remember him?
469
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,720
He knew you since you were a wee bubby.
470
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,400
They gave him four months to live,
poor bastard.
471
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,440
He came straight round,
472
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,760
signed it over to me.
473
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,240
As far as they know, he's still alive.
474
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,720
[Patty] The system paid us nothing
when you father dumped me
475
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,680
and left the two of us alone and skint.
476
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,200
I do this for you and me.
477
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,440
Who-who do you think's been paying
for your extra medication all these years?
478
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,080
[Patty] It's my revenge!
479
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:27,840
[Patty] You understand that, don't cha?
480
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,000
Well, Frank violated that arrangement.
481
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,040
He deserved it.
482
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,000
[sighs] I did it to save ya.
483
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,920
-From what?
-That joker!
484
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,480
When are you gonna realize
that he's the man I love?
485
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,560
You love his family!
486
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,960
You've still got them! Stop complaining!
487
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,000
[Libby] Liam, your dad's been arrested.
488
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,240
I know. Carl told me. Laters.
489
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:56,960
[door shutting]
490
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,040
I need money to bail him out, Mother!
Where is it?
491
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,920
Where is the money?
492
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,640
[laughs] Over my dead body!
493
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,840
[Patty laughs]
494
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,640
She just doesn't want me to be happy!
495
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,640
Every time! Dunno what's wrong with her!
496
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,800
Well, y'know,
we could put her in a home...
497
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,480
y'know, or euthanasia.
One way ticket in a cuckoo clock.
498
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,200
Look, the minute
you bail us out of here, babe,
499
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:25,520
that's what we'll do, hey?
500
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:29,600
We can't afford the bail.
501
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,640
What!
502
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,200
Fuckin' no!
503
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,720
They'll cart me off to prison
if we can't pay!
504
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,040
Fuckin' hell! I can't cope in prison!
You don't know what it's like!
505
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,000
[sighs heavily]
506
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,400
Well, okay, you do.
507
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,600
Your mother
has got money stashed away somewhere.
508
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,400
Just find it! Just get me out of here!
509
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,520
[Libby] I'll see what I can do,
but I might need a bit of time.
510
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,360
Oh! Fuckin' time
511
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,640
Mine's runnin' out! Y'know what?
512
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,400
They're transferrin' some fuckin nutter
from another prison
513
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,320
to my holding cell before his trial.
514
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:05,400
Calls himself Shit Burglar or Burger
or somethin' like that.
515
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,160
He... his last five cellmates...
516
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,120
An' if I don't get out of here soon,
I'm gonna be number six, aren't I?
517
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:17,800
Crisis.
518
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,440
Mam's gettin' married today.
I heard her tellin' Dad.
519
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,920
-What? Who the hell to?
-That new fella!
520
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,600
What, the one from the supermarket?
Jack Beam?
521
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,280
They've only been on a couple o' dates!
522
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,760
-[Jamie] We've not even met this bloke!
-What is she playin' at?
523
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:32,800
She's on the rebound!
524
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,600
-[Jamie] What's Dad said?
-Well, he didn't look best pleased.
525
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,280
It's not really any of his business,
now they're divorced.
526
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:39,640
It is, if he still loves her!
527
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,480
Yeah, and what makes ya think that?
528
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,840
Apart from the fact
you've never left your mam's tit!
529
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,280
Somethin' he said, actually.
530
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:53,240
He got all emotional and like,
misty-eyed over Mam before.
531
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,760
Look, we've gotta stop it
for Mam as much as Dad.
532
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,480
[Karen] She needs to make
her own mistakes, Micky.
533
00:30:58,560 --> 00:30:59,640
It's been a week, Karen!
534
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,200
I mean, ain't gettin' married
after a week more than just a mistake?
535
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,360
Who is this geezer? Where does he live?
536
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:19,800
Gorgeous.
537
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:31,840
Ready?
538
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:41,000
[all J. Beams grunting]
539
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,240
Is that the last?
540
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,440
[Micky] Sorted.
541
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,000
[all J. Beams grunting]
542
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,760
[Jamie sighs] You cock!
You didn't turn the page over!
543
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,960
-Bollocks!
-[Shane] Fuckin' hell!
544
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,880
There's only one option left. C'mon.
545
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,280
[Bruce] Love is patient.
546
00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:01,600
Love is kind and not jealous.
547
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,720
Love does not brag and is not arrogant.
548
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,600
[quietly] Did you choose these words?
549
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:07,760
[whispers] Did I fuck!
550
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:09,920
[clears throat]
551
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,240
[Bruce] Love does not rejoice
in unrighteousness.
552
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,360
Love rejoices in the truth.
553
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,520
[fast paced chase music]
554
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,880
[Bruce] Love endures all things.
555
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,160
Love is not provoked,
556
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,280
does not take into account
wrongs suffered.
557
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,800
[Micky] Wait! Mam!
558
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,400
Mam?
559
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,680
-Dad?
-What the fuck?
560
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,720
Look, I'm sorry, it's not what ya...
561
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:40,640
I love your mother.
562
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,240
I couldn't let her go.
563
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,480
We...
564
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,240
Both made big mistakes, but...
565
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:48,960
[Micky] I think I speak for all of us...
566
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,560
When I say thank you.
567
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:53,720
This...
568
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,920
Is the happiest day of my life.
569
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,280
[Micky] Our lives.
570
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:01,160
I love you, Mimi.
571
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,520
[clears throat] Sorry.
572
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,000
[woman] I now pronounce you man and wife.
573
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,000
[Irish dance music playing]
574
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,320
Think because Frank's not here
things'll go back to the way they were?
575
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:35,160
Not happenin'!
576
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,000
[dramatic music]
577
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:01,960
[jail gate shuts]
578
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,200
-Here you go, love.
-Thank you.
579
00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:11,840
[upbeat music]
580
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,600
[dramatic music]
581
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:47,320
[zipper]
582
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,360
["The Band Played Waltzing Matilda"
by The Pogues playing]
583
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,000
[cheering]
584
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:06,840
["Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas]
585
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:12,240
♪ Gotta get that
Boom boom boom ♪
586
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:16,320
I know my son, and I know
when he's distracted by something.
587
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,760
Why don't you ask her over for tea?
588
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,240
God, Micky,
she's not a fuckin' vegan, is she?
589
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,560
No, but...
590
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,720
-Have you told her ya love her yet?
-Nah.
591
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,400
Don't you think it's about time ya did?
592
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,720
I think I fucked it up
by tellin' a few lies.
593
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,400
And she's fallen for it?
594
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,040
[Mimi] If you want the relationship
to work, tell her the truth.
595
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,080
[Mimi] It's the only basis
for a solid future.
596
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,080
She must like you for you.
597
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,000
♪ I've got that boom boom boom... ♪
598
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,560
[indistinct chatter]
599
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,720
[Karen] Okay, everyone!
I think it's probably time
600
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,640
that the happy couple
had a little bit of time on their own.
601
00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:59,000
-Yeah! You can have your own room back!
-[laughter]
602
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,920
[indistinct cheering, chatter]
603
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,080
[banging]
604
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,000
[banging, squeaking]
605
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,600
[Mimi] My arse is in bulk!
606
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,720
[Paddy] Don't ruin the momentum!
607
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,520
-How're we gonna get outta this one?
-I don't know.
608
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,440
-You should've just told 'em the truth.
-What?! Oh, aye.
609
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,920
"Sons! We found out
our marriage wasn't real,
610
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,520
but we got married again
so you'd all be legitimised."
611
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:38,000
D'you know how fucked up that sounds?
Nothin's changed. I still want a divorce.
612
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,520
-Okay.
-[Paddy] And I'm still leavin' tomorrow.
613
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,120
[emotive music]
614
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:52,800
-[disco music playing]
-[indistinct chatter, laughter]
615
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,440
Here y'are. Get on this!
I just got a call.
616
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,040
You know that prick on the burger van?
617
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,640
He's only been blagging to people
that he's shagging Paddy Maguire!
618
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,960
Fuckin' cock!
619
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,400
[dramatic music]
620
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:18,240
How could you betray me?
621
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,520
I had no choice.
622
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,560
Just tell me where the money is
and I'll post your bail.
623
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:24,920
Dead... simple.
624
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:26,880
Over my dead body.
625
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:31,720
The, the basin!
626
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:33,960
Of my commode.
627
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:38,640
-Libby.
-[door shuts]
628
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:40,200
[louder] Libby!
629
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:44,160
[sighs]
630
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:55,640
Oh, my God.
631
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:58,680
Our honeymoon.
632
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,000
[Mimi sighs]
633
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:05,840
You carried that round in your pocket
for two years, y'know.
634
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:10,760
Got a confession to make.
635
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,440
[Mimi] It's not from Giant's Causeway.
636
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,040
Our Shane
got the real one stuck up his nose,
637
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,000
when you was away in Belfast.
638
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,520
Nearly had a thrombo.
639
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,040
Got our Jamie to go out
and find another stone when we got back.
640
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,560
So, I walked around with this
in my pocket for nothin', then. [chuckles]
641
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,520
[Paddy] I wouldn't let you wash this,
remember?
642
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:38,640
Oh, God.
643
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:40,560
My tears.
644
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:42,760
You wanted to keep my tears.
645
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,560
The day Lennon was shot.
646
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,000
Nothin' to do with Lennon.
647
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,480
[Mimi] Our Jamie
said his first word that day. "Mam."
648
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:52,920
His first word was "Da."
649
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,000
Mandy's first word was "Dad".
650
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,800
[emotive music]
651
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,880
-[Gary] Cheers, mate. Thanks very much.
-[customer] Cheers.
652
00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,040
Feel good
shaggin' the cock o' Chatsworth? Hey?
653
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,600
[Micky] You shoutin' the odds off
about me! I said, "Keep stum," didn't I?
654
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,960
Well, Paddy, listen--
655
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:22,360
I'm not Paddy Maguire, okay?
656
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,920
-What?
-I'm tired with the lies!
657
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,840
With mine, yours, everyone else's!
It's not worth it!
658
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,120
[Micky] Look, you wanna know the truth?
659
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,360
I'm a closet poofter
who wears furry slippers!
660
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:39,240
I file me toenails!
I like "The Waltons"! No!
661
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,360
I love... "The Waltons".
662
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,920
And I had a dog what used to suck me off!
663
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,160
So, you still wanna go out, then?
664
00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:51,680
-Hey?
-You're not Paddy?
665
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:53,720
Yeah, I thought not.
666
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,920
Get this van out of here by midnight
or I'll fuckin' scalp ya!
667
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,080
[Gary breathes heavily]
668
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,120
Which was hers?
669
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,920
They were all hers.
670
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,000
We did all right, you and me, y'know.
671
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,000
-I know, love.
-There were good days.
672
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,240
We were a brilliant family.
673
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:50,280
We are...
674
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,240
A brilliant family.
675
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,480
I'm sorry I couldn't make it work.
676
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,320
-[whispers] Keep it, Paddy.
-No.
677
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,520
[Paddy sniffs]
678
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:10,680
You keep it.
679
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,480
It'll remind you of how it used to be.
680
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:16,720
That life we had.
681
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:24,000
[emotive music]
682
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,200
[Mimi] You're a good dad.
683
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,480
Deep down in there, you're a good man.
684
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,040
What the fuck are you doing?
685
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,040
What does it look like?
686
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,200
Makin' a mistake!
687
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,640
[Micky] I know your marriage is a sham!
688
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,280
I heard you both.
689
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,080
Talkin' about divorce and Ireland.
690
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,440
Look, don't try and deny it.
691
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,960
[Micky] Mum, you told me
the only basis for a solid relationship
692
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:16,160
is the truth.
693
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,040
So, is this because it's love...
694
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,120
Or just because it's easy?
695
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:32,920
Just do the right thing.
696
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,000
Not for us, or anyone else...
697
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:38,280
But for you.
698
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,320
We'll love ya no matter what.
699
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:01,400
[Frank] Way! [chuckles]
700
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,120
Y'know, you shouldn't
beat yourself up about it, mate.
701
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,600
I mean, if we're all really honest
702
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,400
wouldn't take that much
for us to murder one of our kids.
703
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,200
Most of us
might stop at dismembering, though.
704
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,240
[Frank] Y'know?
705
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,040
[laughing]
I'm only I'm only fuckin' with ya!
706
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,520
[Frank] Come on! Come on. Your deal.
707
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:29,480
-Love.
-Hey.
708
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,600
-Gonna let Mum stew for a while...
-All right.
709
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,920
...and you and me, sweetheart,
are goin' out gallivanting.
710
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,680
Oh! I fuckin' love you, Libby Croker!
711
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:51,000
[Mimi] The first date I had with Paddy,
I was wearin' this little black dress.
712
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:55,840
[Mimi] I looked great.
He knew it and I knew it.
713
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:57,920
What're you gonna tell the other two?
714
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:03,600
Don't worry about them.
They're used to you disappearin'
715
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,520
and me just bein' around.
716
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,760
[Mimi] Wore that dress again
for our first anniversary.
717
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,000
[Mimi] Couldn't get into it
for the second. Or third.
718
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:24,480
I didn't chuck it out, though.
Hung on to it for years,
719
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,840
tellin' meself that one day
it'd fit again.
720
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,640
Ain't never did.
721
00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:35,400
It was in the wardrobe years,
just hangin'. Waitin'.
722
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:36,840
Goodbye, Mimi.
723
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,440
[emotive music]
724
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,000
[Mimi] In the end,
I had to admit defeat and let it go.
725
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,240
It just didn't fit anymore.
726
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:52,920
Just didn't fit.
727
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:58,960
I've been seeing someone else.
728
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:03,440
[Joe] I want your wife, who I've been
fucking on and off for nearly a year.
729
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,960
One team of poofs stands between us
and 1,000 quid.
730
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,080
[Ian] Got the feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore.
731
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:11,240
Everyone'll think I'm gay!
732
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,360
-Ah, fuck it. I don't mind.
-Me neither.
733
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,040
[cries out] I think I've pulled something.
734
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,040
Something or someone?
735
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,760
Mr Arlington!
736
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,560
[Maxine giggles]
737
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,440
-Let's kill the cunt!
-You don't know what he'll do.
738
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,240
He's a convicted fucking murderer.
739
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,080
[newsman] Elsewhere,
police are investigating
740
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,880
a spate of disappearances
in the Manchester area.
741
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,040
They say
it is a particularly unusual case,
742
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,840
as all the victims
have the name "J. Beam".
743
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,160
And in other news, rallies today continued
outside the town hall.
744
00:46:22,240 --> 00:46:24,280
The message was clear...
745
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,240
Fuckin' love my kids.
55980
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