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BYRON:
Previously, on Black Cake...
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00:00:03,292 --> 00:00:05,292
ELEANOR:
London wasn't exactly safe,
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00:00:05,292 --> 00:00:07,250
but it was the devil I knew.
4
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I could blend in.
5
00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:13,000
Until I realized that the longer
you go without being seen,
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the smaller and smaller you become.
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Until you all but disappear.
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B and B... you have a sister.
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A secret I couldn't bring myself to
even share with your father.
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- Your mum, did she mention
my birth father in the recordings?
11
00:00:31,542 --> 00:00:33,917
- She was assaulted...
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00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:37,083
by her employer
around the time you were born.
13
00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:40,125
- Assaulted?
14
00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:44,042
ELEANOR [on recording]:
Mabel, my first born.
15
00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:50,000
The moment I held you,
I knew I wanted to be your mother.
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00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:55,875
But by that point, it was too late.
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00:00:55,875 --> 00:01:00,750
Because the truth is,
I didn't choose to let you go.
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You were taken from me.
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ELEANOR:
By the time I left Scotland,
20
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I was in a daze.
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♪ dramatic music playing ♪
22
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Trying so hard to block out
everything that had happened.
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♪
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00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:44,167
I told you before that I ran into Gibbs
when I got back to London,
25
00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:47,292
but in truth,
26
00:01:49,167 --> 00:01:52,333
it was nearly a year before that happened.
27
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:58,875
And those first few weeks back
just seemed to slip away.
28
00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:01,292
[indistinct chatter]
29
00:02:02,042 --> 00:02:05,500
ELEANOR:
Up until I started feeling sick.
30
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,583
- You don't have the flu, Ms. Douglas.
31
00:02:11,417 --> 00:02:12,958
- Oh, that's a relief.
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00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:15,167
- The nausea, the fatigue, the dizziness,
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00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,667
these are all classic symptoms
of early pregnancy.
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00:02:21,292 --> 00:02:23,708
I take it
this isn't the news you were expecting.
35
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:28,167
Do you remember
when your last menstrual period began?
36
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:31,042
- I don't know.
37
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,000
Two months ago maybe.
38
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000
- And you didn't think
to come in earlier for an exam?
39
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:40,625
Do you know who the father is?
40
00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:46,750
- I was working in Scotland
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00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:51,083
when my supervisor took advantage.
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00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,708
That's the only time it could've happened.
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00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:54,250
DOCTOR:
I see.
44
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:57,250
Well, young ladies these days
are so liberated,
45
00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:00,208
it's no great wonder
when these predicaments come about.
46
00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:03,083
Do you have any family nearby?
47
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,333
Anyone you can ask for help?
48
00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:08,333
- No, I'm on my own.
49
00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:10,667
- What about employment?
50
00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:13,667
Do you have a means of supporting a child?
51
00:03:16,417 --> 00:03:19,125
- I haven't been able to find any work
since returning to London.
52
00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:22,417
DOCTOR:
Well,
53
00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:26,292
the good news is
you have options nowadays.
54
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,333
If you choose to terminate,
55
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,417
it's quite safe and perfectly lawful.
56
00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:33,625
I can provide you
with a referral if you like.
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00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:38,042
♪
58
00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:40,833
- I'm sorry, I-I just need--
59
00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:42,917
I need some time to think.
60
00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:43,917
DOCTOR:
Of course.
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00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:45,250
Although you mustn't wait too long.
62
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,917
Time is of the essence.
63
00:03:47,917 --> 00:03:48,792
Now,
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00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:50,625
good luck to you.
65
00:03:54,042 --> 00:03:55,042
[door closes]
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00:03:55,042 --> 00:03:57,917
♪
67
00:03:57,917 --> 00:03:58,917
ELEANOR:
Back then,
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00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:02,292
there weren't many housing options
for people of color,
69
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,667
and I couldn't go back
to the boarding house
70
00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:07,167
with the island girls.
71
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:10,000
I was dead.
72
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:15,125
So I found a place
where I wouldn't be recognized.
73
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:17,417
[indistinct chatter]
74
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,958
[indistinct arguments in Mandarin]
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00:04:20,958 --> 00:04:22,417
ELEANOR:
I had no plan
76
00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:24,875
and no support.
77
00:04:25,417 --> 00:04:28,417
[indistinct arguments continue]
78
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,875
ELEANOR:
I just kept wishing that this thing,
79
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,458
this problem,
80
00:04:43,708 --> 00:04:46,583
would somehow... disappear.
81
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,250
And I had learned long before
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00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,458
that I was on my own.
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00:04:57,458 --> 00:05:00,458
♪ somber music playing ♪
84
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[knock on door]
85
00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,792
PEARL:
I know you're still angry at me, Covey.
86
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:32,750
Believe me,
87
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,875
baking a cake for a wedding,
88
00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:37,750
like this,
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00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,083
for you,
90
00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,833
it's not what I ever wanted.
91
00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:43,250
- I know Pa made you do it.
92
00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:47,208
I just wanna be left alone.
93
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,417
- Here.
94
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,583
I brought you something.
95
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,125
From your mother.
96
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,292
♪
97
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:02,792
When she left the island,
her plan was to come back for you.
98
00:06:04,458 --> 00:06:08,083
But she asked me
to hold onto this just in case.
99
00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:11,708
So you'd always have a piece of her.
100
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,333
- A part of me
was hoping maybe she'd
101
00:06:18,333 --> 00:06:20,625
[sharp inhale] show up today,
102
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,917
somehow fix all of this.
103
00:06:26,208 --> 00:06:28,583
- She would be here if she could.
104
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:29,583
I know--
- Stop.
105
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:32,125
If she ever really cared about me,
106
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,208
she never would've left me
in the first place.
107
00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,792
I don't want nothing from her.
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00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:37,375
She's not gonna save me now.
109
00:06:38,417 --> 00:06:39,625
And neither is my pa.
110
00:06:40,292 --> 00:06:43,792
And neither are you.
So please... just go away.
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00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:04,750
[Covey sniffs]
112
00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:12,125
♪ somber music playing ♪
113
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,875
♪
114
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:32,667
[distant indistinct chatter]
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00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,875
ELEANOR:
I needed to make a decision.
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[distant banging]
117
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,875
But I could hardly even hear myself think.
118
00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:55,208
And I found myself
begging for some kind of answer
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00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:57,833
or sign.
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00:07:58,417 --> 00:08:01,417
[church bell tolling]
121
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♪ somber music playing ♪
122
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[church bell continues tolling]
123
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♪
124
00:08:55,667 --> 00:08:58,667
[breathing shakily]
125
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:10,208
[crying]
126
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,083
- Hello, child. Can I help you?
127
00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:18,500
- I'm-- I'm sorry.
I-Is the church closed?
128
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,833
- No. No.
129
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,958
You seem upset, dear.
130
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:24,667
May I help?
131
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:25,958
[Covey sniffling]
132
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:28,708
[crying]
133
00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,958
- That's okay. Let it all out.
134
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:36,000
- You have no idea how long it's been
135
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,458
since anyone has said
anything genuinely kind to me,
136
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,417
[sniffles]
let alone someone from the island.
137
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,458
- Are you in trouble?
138
00:09:48,417 --> 00:09:50,083
Are you in the family way?
139
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,083
Well, you've come to the right place.
140
00:09:57,208 --> 00:10:00,708
Now, when was the last time
you had anything to eat?
141
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:05,667
[sniffling]
142
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NUN: Church runs this place
especially for unwed mothers.
143
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,375
So you can take comfort
knowing that you're not alone.
144
00:10:21,292 --> 00:10:23,333
We offer room and board free of charge.
145
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,042
And when the time has come,
146
00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,792
we'll help to place the child
into a loving home.
147
00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:30,458
So you won't have a thing to worry about.
148
00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:31,875
How does that sound to you?
149
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,042
- Better than I could've hoped for.
150
00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:36,292
Thank you.
151
00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:39,667
- Normally, we would sit down
for an intake first,
152
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:42,792
but since it's late,
we can save that for the morning.
153
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:48,375
For now, I would like
to introduce you to the other ladies.
154
00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:51,375
[indistinct chatter]
155
00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,167
- Quiet, girls.
156
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,875
- Hello, everyone. This is Eleanor.
157
00:10:56,875 --> 00:10:58,833
She'll be joining us here for now,
158
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,792
and I trust that
you'll make her feel right at home.
159
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:03,667
[all greeting Covey]
160
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:05,667
- Sister Madeline,
may I help Eleanor get a plate?
161
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,167
- Yes, you may. Thank you, dear.
162
00:11:11,542 --> 00:11:12,542
- I'm Irene.
163
00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:15,833
How do you feel about beef stew?
164
00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:18,000
[group chattering]
165
00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:22,375
- Well, to be honest, I haven't been able
to keep much down lately.
166
00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:25,583
- The first few weeks, I could only eat
cheese and Marmite sandwiches.
167
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:29,208
In fact, I just about ate my weight
in cheese and Marmite sandwiches.
168
00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:32,083
How about some plain broth
with bread and butter?
169
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,875
That ought to settle your stomach.
170
00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:36,167
- Sounds perfect.
171
00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,875
- So how far along are you?
172
00:11:40,875 --> 00:11:43,292
- Almost three months, I think.
173
00:11:43,292 --> 00:11:46,292
- I'm just a little further than you,
so we'll be due around the same time.
174
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:47,792
How fun.
175
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,250
Are you still with the baby's father?
176
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,500
Don't worry.
177
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:56,875
Most of the girls here
are in the same boat as you.
178
00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,708
I'm one of the lucky ones.
179
00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:03,792
My boyfriend, Tommy, and I have been
going together for almost two years now.
180
00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:05,625
- And he knows why you're here?
181
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:06,500
- Oh.
182
00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:08,208
Yes.
183
00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:11,667
Although he never wanted me
to come in the first place.
184
00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:14,250
COVEY:
What do you mean? Why not?
185
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:18,000
Sorry. I don't mean to pry.
186
00:12:18,958 --> 00:12:20,750
You don't have to tell me
anything you don't want to.
187
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:25,250
But you should know,
I'm very good at keeping secrets.
188
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,375
- My parents have never approved of Tommy.
189
00:12:33,958 --> 00:12:35,333
They forced me to come here.
190
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,167
They've been telling everyone
I'm studying in Brussels.
191
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:41,875
But... me and Tommy have a plan.
192
00:12:43,042 --> 00:12:45,000
He's going to sneak me out of here
when the baby comes.
193
00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,333
We're getting married,
194
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,333
and we're keeping Henry.
195
00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:52,083
He's going to be a boy. I just know it.
196
00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:53,917
Tommy wants to name him after his dad.
197
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,917
- That's quite a plan.
198
00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:00,250
Where will you go?
199
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,292
Do you have a place to live?
200
00:13:02,292 --> 00:13:03,625
- Not yet.
201
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:06,167
But Tommy's got a good job at a factory,
and he's saving up.
202
00:13:07,208 --> 00:13:09,333
[slight chuckle]
You think I'm mad, don't you?
203
00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,375
- No, not at all.
204
00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,542
I just think
you must really want to be a mom.
205
00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:19,167
- What about you?
206
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:21,375
- No.
207
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,417
Not now.
208
00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:24,458
Maybe not ever.
209
00:13:25,042 --> 00:13:27,750
IRENE: Well,
you're in good company at any rate.
210
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,042
I'm glad you found your way here, Eleanor.
211
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:37,208
- So did you have everything you needed
in the dormitory last night?
212
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:39,083
- Yes. Thank you.
213
00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,042
It was comfortable and quiet.
214
00:13:41,042 --> 00:13:43,833
- Good. I'm glad that you're settling in.
215
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,458
Now, a few ground rules.
216
00:13:46,458 --> 00:13:48,083
As I told you before,
217
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,125
there is no cost for you to stay here.
218
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:51,583
But to cover expenses,
219
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:55,625
all our girls are expected to help
with the cooking and the cleaning.
220
00:13:55,625 --> 00:13:56,917
Are you prepared to do so?
221
00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:58,917
- Of course.
222
00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:01,500
I'm not afraid of a little hard work.
223
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,833
- Good. Glad to hear it.
224
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:07,542
Now, I'll have you complete these forms
on your own.
225
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,042
Date of birth, etcetera.
226
00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:15,417
And may I just ask,
227
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,542
what is the race of the baby's father?
228
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:20,708
- Well,
229
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
he's Scottish.
230
00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:27,125
♪ solemn music playing ♪
231
00:14:29,458 --> 00:14:31,542
- Alright now, one last thing.
232
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:32,875
By signing this,
233
00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:36,958
you are allowing the church
to find a good home for the child
234
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:38,833
with a stable family.
235
00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:41,042
Do you understand, Eleanor?
236
00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:42,042
- Yes.
237
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:47,167
I just want to get through all this
and move forward with my life.
238
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
- You're making the right decision
239
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,792
for yourself
240
00:14:51,792 --> 00:14:52,958
and for your child.
241
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:56,375
♪
242
00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,250
ELEANOR:
From that moment on,
243
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:02,333
my days were full,
244
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:07,375
from dawn until dark.
245
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:09,958
The work was hard.
246
00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:19,333
But it was also a welcome escape.
247
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,792
♪
248
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,083
And so the months slipped by,
249
00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:31,417
mercifully.
250
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:35,292
♪
251
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:44,542
And I did my best not to think
about what was happening inside my body.
252
00:15:44,542 --> 00:15:46,625
- Baby's heartbeat sounds perfect.
253
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:48,958
Would you like to hear it?
254
00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:49,958
- No, thank you.
255
00:15:52,792 --> 00:15:54,583
MIDWIFE: Have you been feeling
a lot of kicks lately?
256
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:57,417
They usually start
to get pretty active around now.
257
00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,042
- I don't know.
258
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:00,583
I haven't noticed.
259
00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:04,375
- The little one should be about the size
of a head of lettuce by now,
260
00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:07,000
and they love to roll around
doing somersaults--
261
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,375
- Please, I'd really rather not know.
Thank you.
262
00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:11,292
If it's all the same to you.
263
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,292
- Alright. As you like.
264
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:18,792
Let's get you onto the scales.
265
00:16:28,917 --> 00:16:29,917
Mm.
266
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,917
You haven't gained enough
since your last appointment.
267
00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,417
- I can't keep anything down.
268
00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:42,167
- It's late in your pregnancy
to still be having morning sickness,
269
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,625
though some women just never feel well
until the baby comes.
270
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:48,375
Did your mother have the same problem
when she was expecting you?
271
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,583
- I wouldn't know.
272
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,042
But this thing is making me sick
around the clock.
273
00:16:53,958 --> 00:16:57,750
- Look, I can see that you're trying
to distance yourself from this baby.
274
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,625
And that's fine, I understand.
275
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:02,833
But there is a baby in there
whether you like it or not.
276
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:06,000
And if you don't feed it
the nutrients it needs now,
277
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,167
then it'll turn out to be a sickly child
and no one will want to adopt it.
278
00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:14,083
- What am I supposed to do?
279
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,208
Everything I eat just comes back up again.
280
00:17:17,792 --> 00:17:20,583
- Try smaller portions more often.
281
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:24,708
I don't care if you eat nothing but chips
or gherkins or custard creams.
282
00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:28,667
Just find something you can keep down
and eat it every day.
283
00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:29,667
Do you understand?
284
00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:33,542
♪
285
00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,833
[footsteps clomping]
286
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,667
[Irene crying]
287
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:52,750
- What is it?
288
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,625
- It's Tommy.
289
00:17:56,625 --> 00:17:57,875
He's changed his mind.
290
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:00,625
- Irene.
291
00:18:00,625 --> 00:18:02,917
- He says he's not ready
to be a father after all.
292
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,083
He's not coming to get us.
293
00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:10,542
[crying, gasps]
294
00:18:12,375 --> 00:18:14,667
[crying]
I can't let them take my baby away.
295
00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:19,708
- But you signed the paper, didn't you?
296
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,917
We all did.
297
00:18:23,042 --> 00:18:23,875
- But,
298
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,375
m-maybe I can still find a way.
299
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,708
M-Maybe I can sneak him out
after he's born, when no one's watching.
300
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,042
M-Maybe I can raise him on my own.
301
00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:37,042
[sighs]
302
00:18:39,542 --> 00:18:41,125
[sniffles] What am I asking you for?
303
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,000
You chose to be here.
304
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,667
Nobody forced you.
305
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:48,917
How would you understand?
306
00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:02,375
- I told you before
that I could keep a secret.
307
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,583
So if I tell you one of mine,
do you promise to do the same?
308
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:08,958
- Of course.
309
00:19:10,958 --> 00:19:13,958
♪ somber music playing ♪
310
00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:19,750
- Before I came here,
I was working in an office.
311
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:26,125
And my supervisor had--
had been so kind to me.
312
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,917
I thought he was someone I could trust.
313
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:35,250
But one day,
314
00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:38,958
he attacked me.
315
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,542
♪
316
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:43,667
That's how I ended up here.
317
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,167
♪
318
00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:48,292
- Eleanor, I had no idea.
319
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,917
- This baby wasn't conceived in love,
320
00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:56,333
not like yours was.
321
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,792
But even though
you and I have very different stories,
322
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,875
somehow we've both ended up
in the same predicament.
323
00:20:07,042 --> 00:20:08,792
- My parents will hardly speak to me.
324
00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,000
Everybody's turned their back.
325
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000
- Irene,
326
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:16,667
If there's one thing I've learned,
327
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,792
it's that the only person
you can truly count on
328
00:20:20,708 --> 00:20:21,708
is yourself.
329
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:25,875
So you have to ask yourself, honestly,
330
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:30,042
are you gonna be able
to raise this child alone?
331
00:20:31,042 --> 00:20:32,958
Are you gonna be able to find a job
332
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,375
and a place to live?
333
00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:41,375
Are you gonna be able
to look into that child's face every day
334
00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:44,042
and be reminded of his father?
335
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,125
I know, for me, I couldn't do it.
336
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:51,125
- But I want this baby.
337
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,167
♪
338
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:55,750
How am I supposed to just give him up?
339
00:20:58,167 --> 00:20:59,417
- You have to do what I've been doing,
340
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,042
and remind yourself he isn't yours.
341
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,292
He belongs to some other woman,
some other family.
342
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,792
And he'll have a good life with them.
343
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:13,125
Better than anything
you or I could provide.
344
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,292
The sooner we can get through this,
345
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,833
the sooner we can put it all behind us.
346
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,167
[footsteps clomping]
347
00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:24,625
- Come now, girls, this isn't social hour.
348
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,083
Don't you have chores to do?
349
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,292
- Coming, Sister Janette.
350
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:35,500
[sighing]
351
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:49,542
[grunting]
352
00:21:50,583 --> 00:21:51,500
[groans]
353
00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:55,250
[breathing heavily]
354
00:22:02,375 --> 00:22:05,375
♪ ominous music playing ♪
355
00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,375
♪
356
00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:29,917
MIDWIFE:
There it is. Praise God.
357
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:32,625
[Covey exhales]
358
00:22:32,625 --> 00:22:33,875
MIDWIFE:
Strong and steady.
359
00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:36,792
You've got
a little fighter in there, Eleanor.
360
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:40,833
- Wait.
361
00:22:42,125 --> 00:22:43,375
Can I hear it?
362
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:44,625
- Oh, surely.
363
00:22:47,042 --> 00:22:48,042
Right there.
364
00:22:48,042 --> 00:22:48,792
Listen.
365
00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:53,375
[heart beating rapidly]
366
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:57,917
♪ gentle music playing ♪
367
00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:05,125
- It's so fast.
368
00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:06,250
MIDWIFE:
That's normal.
369
00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:07,292
They're growing so rapidly,
370
00:23:07,292 --> 00:23:09,833
the heart has to pump extra hard
to keep up.
371
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,417
IRENE:
Do you need anything before I go?
372
00:23:26,417 --> 00:23:27,667
- No. Thank you.
373
00:23:28,792 --> 00:23:31,125
I just don't know
what I'm gonna do with myself all day
374
00:23:31,125 --> 00:23:32,500
with nothing to distract me.
375
00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:33,583
- If I were you, I'd be thrilled
376
00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:35,458
not to have to scrub
another dirty bed sheet.
377
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:37,917
Enjoy your bedrest.
378
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,750
[indistinct chatter]
379
00:23:39,750 --> 00:23:40,958
SISTER JANETTE:
It's quite easier.
380
00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:43,542
UNWED MOTHER:
Thank you. I keep it by the bed.
381
00:23:43,542 --> 00:23:46,875
[chatter continues indistinctly]
382
00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:49,000
[everyone has left the room]
383
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:57,583
ELEANOR:
I had felt little flutters before,
384
00:23:57,583 --> 00:23:58,958
but I ignored them.
385
00:24:04,125 --> 00:24:06,542
Now for the first time,
I started to wonder
386
00:24:06,542 --> 00:24:10,292
about this little life
moving around inside of me.
387
00:24:10,292 --> 00:24:12,750
♪ gentle music playing ♪
388
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:13,750
Was it a boy?
389
00:24:15,208 --> 00:24:16,208
Or a girl?
390
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:18,917
Would she have my eyes
391
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:22,000
or my mother's smile?
392
00:24:24,417 --> 00:24:27,875
And what kind of hopes and dreams
would she have one day?
393
00:24:27,875 --> 00:24:30,167
♪
394
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:36,042
[screaming]
395
00:24:38,917 --> 00:24:39,750
- Irene?
396
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,000
What is it? What happened?
397
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,292
- [straining] Something's wrong.
398
00:24:43,292 --> 00:24:44,208
It hurts!
399
00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:46,583
- Someone go wake up Sister Madeline!
400
00:24:46,583 --> 00:24:47,750
Tell her Irene needs help.
401
00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:49,875
Please! Now! Hurry!
402
00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:51,292
[Irene panting]
403
00:24:52,875 --> 00:24:54,250
- My belly feels like a fist.
404
00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:56,708
[panting] What's happening to me?
405
00:24:56,708 --> 00:24:57,708
- I don't know.
406
00:24:57,708 --> 00:24:59,458
Just squeeze my hand when it hurts, okay?
407
00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:01,083
[Irene screaming]
408
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:03,667
ELEANOR:
The night Irene went into labor,
409
00:25:04,292 --> 00:25:07,417
we had no idea what labor even was.
410
00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,250
SISTER MADELINE:
It's all right, Irene.
411
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:10,792
Settle down.
412
00:25:10,792 --> 00:25:12,833
We are taking you to the hospital now.
413
00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:15,375
ELEANOR:
Nothing had been explained to us.
414
00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:17,500
- What's wrong with her?
415
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:18,750
Is she gonna be all right?
416
00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:21,250
- The baby's coming. Everything is fine.
417
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:24,458
ELEANOR:
Everything was shrouded in mystery.
418
00:25:24,458 --> 00:25:26,125
[Irene panting]
419
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:28,000
SISTER MADELINE:
Now you girls get back to sleep.
420
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,792
It's none of your concern.
421
00:25:29,792 --> 00:25:32,792
[Irene continues screaming]
422
00:25:34,375 --> 00:25:37,167
ELEANOR:
So all I could do... was wait.
423
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,792
- Irene, I've been so worried.
424
00:25:45,292 --> 00:25:46,417
How did it go?
425
00:25:46,417 --> 00:25:47,833
SISTER JANETTE:
She needs to rest,
426
00:25:47,833 --> 00:25:49,125
and so do you.
427
00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:52,208
Now leave her alone.
428
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,125
Let her sleep.
429
00:25:57,667 --> 00:25:59,333
I'll be back later to check on you.
430
00:26:07,958 --> 00:26:09,083
- How do you feel?
431
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:15,708
♪ soft music playing ♪
432
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:17,042
Is everything okay?
433
00:26:18,875 --> 00:26:20,625
Where's little Henry?
434
00:26:20,625 --> 00:26:23,250
♪
435
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:24,083
- I was wrong.
436
00:26:26,542 --> 00:26:27,667
It wasn't a boy after all.
437
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:32,917
She's down in the nursery now, I suppose.
438
00:26:33,667 --> 00:26:34,667
- How is she?
439
00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:37,208
What did you name her?
440
00:26:38,417 --> 00:26:39,667
- I didn't give her a name.
441
00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:44,708
But they told me that she was
the third baby born this month.
442
00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:50,042
So they just wrote "Baby Number Three"
on all the forms.
443
00:26:53,875 --> 00:26:55,958
- Well, even though
it wasn't a boy like you planned,
444
00:26:57,667 --> 00:27:00,333
it could still make you feel better
to give her a name.
445
00:27:02,167 --> 00:27:03,875
Maybe something meaningful to you.
446
00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:06,542
- But she's not my baby.
447
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,250
So there's no point
in naming her, is there?
448
00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:13,458
She's just Baby Number Three.
449
00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,500
♪
450
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,542
And yours will be Baby Number Four.
451
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:19,917
Or Five.
452
00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,333
Or Six.
453
00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:27,167
The sooner
we can all get on with our lives
454
00:27:27,167 --> 00:27:30,458
and put all of this behind us, the better.
455
00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:34,458
Right?
456
00:27:34,458 --> 00:27:37,458
♪ somber music playing ♪
457
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000
[car starting]
458
00:27:57,875 --> 00:27:59,875
♪
459
00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:06,833
♪
460
00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:09,583
[indistinct chatter]
461
00:28:16,208 --> 00:28:17,458
IRENE:
It's adoption day.
462
00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,750
Hope one of those couples
will take a liking to Baby Number Three.
463
00:28:22,958 --> 00:28:24,208
Say a prayer for me, won't you?
464
00:28:25,208 --> 00:28:26,250
- Of course.
465
00:28:27,792 --> 00:28:30,375
She's so precious,
I'm sure they'll be fighting over her.
466
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,208
- They better.
467
00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:35,083
I feel like a dairy cow.
468
00:28:35,833 --> 00:28:37,708
I don't understand
why they keep us here for six weeks
469
00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:39,375
when they can just buy formula.
470
00:28:40,292 --> 00:28:41,500
- They say it's the cost.
471
00:28:42,583 --> 00:28:43,417
And,
472
00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,375
it's what's best for the baby.
473
00:28:45,375 --> 00:28:46,375
- But what about us?
474
00:28:53,292 --> 00:28:54,875
I don't know how much more I can take.
475
00:28:56,792 --> 00:28:59,625
- Eleanor, what are you doing out of bed?
476
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:02,208
- I'm sorry, I ju--
I just cannot find a comfortable position.
477
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:05,292
- Well, that's too bad
because the midwife was quite clear.
478
00:29:05,292 --> 00:29:06,875
You plant yourself back in that bed
479
00:29:06,875 --> 00:29:08,917
'til you're instructed to do otherwise.
480
00:29:09,917 --> 00:29:13,542
Now, Irene, those floors aren't going
to scrub themselves, are they?
481
00:29:13,542 --> 00:29:14,542
IRENE:
Coming, Sister Janette.
482
00:29:14,542 --> 00:29:17,875
[departing footsteps]
483
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,042
[heavy breaths]
484
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:45,083
[muffled, indistinct chatter]
485
00:29:53,250 --> 00:29:54,250
[Covey grunts]
486
00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:56,250
[heavy breaths]
487
00:29:56,250 --> 00:29:57,125
[groans]
488
00:30:03,083 --> 00:30:04,417
[grunts]
489
00:30:07,125 --> 00:30:08,542
[grunting]
490
00:30:08,542 --> 00:30:12,708
MATHILDA:
Breathe deep and wide, Covey.
491
00:30:15,125 --> 00:30:17,375
Deep and wide.
492
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,125
Deep and wide.
493
00:30:23,667 --> 00:30:26,667
[shuddering]
494
00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:35,083
- You're not coming with me?
495
00:30:36,250 --> 00:30:38,250
[siren wailing]
496
00:30:39,583 --> 00:30:42,667
MATHILDA:
Breathe deep and wide.
497
00:30:42,667 --> 00:30:45,083
[grunting]
498
00:30:45,083 --> 00:30:47,667
MIDWIFE:
Eleanor, you have to breathe.
499
00:30:47,667 --> 00:30:51,208
[continues grunting]
500
00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:54,292
- If you want to swim
on your own one day, my girl,
501
00:30:54,292 --> 00:30:56,708
you must learn to control your breath.
502
00:30:57,375 --> 00:31:00,750
Breathe deep and wide.
503
00:31:00,750 --> 00:31:02,792
And take it one stroke at a time.
504
00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:04,917
Ready to try one more time?
505
00:31:05,917 --> 00:31:07,458
What are you afraid of?
506
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:10,208
- What's underneath. What I can't see.
507
00:31:10,208 --> 00:31:11,792
MIDWIFE:
You have to breathe.
508
00:31:11,792 --> 00:31:13,167
[Covey crying]
MIDWIFE: Eleanor--
509
00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:16,583
- Breathe deep and wide.
510
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:17,750
And I'll be right here.
511
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:19,958
Breathe in.
512
00:31:20,667 --> 00:31:23,667
[breathes deeply]
MATHILDA: Out.
513
00:31:24,208 --> 00:31:27,042
In. Out.
514
00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:29,292
[Covey groans]
MATHILDA: In.
515
00:31:29,292 --> 00:31:30,667
[Covey inhales sharply]
516
00:31:30,667 --> 00:31:32,250
- I wanna see.
517
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:34,125
- Calm down, dear.
We do this with all the girls.
518
00:31:34,125 --> 00:31:35,458
It's what's best.
519
00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:38,500
- [grunting in pain]
No! I need to see!
520
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,333
[grunting]
521
00:31:40,333 --> 00:31:41,333
MATHILDA:
Breathe in.
522
00:31:42,125 --> 00:31:43,583
Out.
523
00:31:43,583 --> 00:31:45,083
In.
524
00:31:45,083 --> 00:31:46,000
Out.
525
00:31:46,542 --> 00:31:48,042
Breathe in.
526
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:48,875
MIDWIFE:
That's it.
527
00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:51,042
MATHILDA: Out.
[both exhale]
528
00:31:51,042 --> 00:31:52,792
In.
[both inhale]
529
00:31:52,792 --> 00:31:54,875
Out.
[both exhale]
530
00:31:56,375 --> 00:32:01,083
♪
531
00:32:02,333 --> 00:32:04,333
[screaming]
532
00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,500
[sobs]
533
00:32:07,667 --> 00:32:10,542
[gasps, cries]
534
00:32:10,542 --> 00:32:12,542
[baby crying]
535
00:32:17,542 --> 00:32:18,792
- Is the baby okay?
536
00:32:20,792 --> 00:32:22,667
Miss Sheila, is the baby okay?
537
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,208
Miss Sheila, please.
538
00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,333
SHEILA:
Congratulations.
539
00:32:28,167 --> 00:32:30,667
We have ourselves
a healthy, thriving girl.
540
00:32:30,667 --> 00:32:33,417
[baby crying]
- Mm. You're so sweet!
541
00:32:33,417 --> 00:32:35,208
SISTER JANETTE:
And so easy to place.
542
00:32:35,208 --> 00:32:37,792
[baby cries]
[Covey weeps]
543
00:32:37,792 --> 00:32:38,792
[Sister Madeline chuckles]
544
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,333
SHEILA:
Feeding time.
545
00:32:43,042 --> 00:32:44,750
Down you go.
546
00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:47,333
[baby cries]
[Covey shushing]
547
00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:54,750
ELEANOR:
"So easy to place." Of course.
548
00:32:54,750 --> 00:32:58,292
My sweet girl with a shock of dark hair
549
00:32:58,292 --> 00:33:02,708
and a birthmark
on her perfect little pink head.
550
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:06,000
[baby gurgles]
551
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,208
SHEILA:
Come on, Eleanor.
552
00:33:07,208 --> 00:33:10,042
The baby will latch better
if you scoot down a bit.
553
00:33:10,042 --> 00:33:11,667
- Her name is Mathilda.
554
00:33:11,667 --> 00:33:13,667
[baby cries]
[Covey shushes]
555
00:33:13,667 --> 00:33:16,708
ELEANOR:
Before I met you, my firstborn,
556
00:33:16,708 --> 00:33:19,500
I was afraid
that you would be a reminder
557
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,833
of that horrible thing
that happened to me.
558
00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:27,042
And then, all of a sudden,
my past didn't matter.
559
00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:29,292
All of a sudden,
560
00:33:29,292 --> 00:33:31,250
you were my future.
561
00:33:31,250 --> 00:33:32,167
[baby cries]
562
00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:33,375
My everything.
563
00:33:34,208 --> 00:33:35,542
- You'll feed every two hours.
564
00:33:35,542 --> 00:33:38,292
And you'll do so in the nursery,
no exceptions.
565
00:33:38,292 --> 00:33:40,917
One of us will wake you
to keep you on schedule.
566
00:33:40,917 --> 00:33:42,708
IRENE:
Please take her away.
567
00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:44,708
Please! I can't do this.
NUN: You need to try again.
568
00:33:44,708 --> 00:33:46,125
IRENE:
Please, just take her away. I can't.
569
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,542
NUN:
She needs to feed. Pull the chin up.
570
00:33:47,542 --> 00:33:48,833
- What on earth is going on?
571
00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:51,625
- It doesn't matter what I do,
this baby will not feed.
572
00:33:51,625 --> 00:33:53,708
- Hush, child. Untuck the baby's chin.
573
00:33:53,708 --> 00:33:55,208
IRENE:
I've tried that already!
574
00:33:55,208 --> 00:33:59,042
I'm not a machine.
Just-- You take her. I can't do this.
575
00:33:59,042 --> 00:34:01,333
- You must try. She's starving.
576
00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:02,333
Untuck the baby's chin.
577
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:04,792
[Irene sighs]
578
00:34:04,792 --> 00:34:06,875
[baby fussing]
579
00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:12,042
[Irene grunts in pain]
580
00:34:12,667 --> 00:34:15,042
- She bit me!
- Quiet yourself, Irene.
581
00:34:15,042 --> 00:34:16,250
And keep at it.
582
00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:19,250
[babies crying]
583
00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:29,625
[baby crying]
584
00:34:29,625 --> 00:34:32,250
- See! She won't stay on.
- Dear God.
585
00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:34,042
IRENE:
Please, just let me go back to work.
586
00:34:34,042 --> 00:34:35,250
I can't do this.
587
00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:37,000
NUN: She won't latch,
what other choice do we have?
588
00:34:38,667 --> 00:34:39,833
[baby fussing]
589
00:34:39,833 --> 00:34:41,792
- You only upset her anyway.
590
00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:46,208
Go on, escort Eleanor
back to the dormitory.
591
00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:47,083
[baby cries]
592
00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:50,833
- Could I maybe sit with her
for a little bit longer?
593
00:34:51,792 --> 00:34:53,167
She did not feed much at the hospital.
594
00:34:53,167 --> 00:34:54,458
- We have them on a schedule.
595
00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:57,000
It makes for an easier transition
when they're placed.
596
00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:00,833
[babies crying]
597
00:35:04,458 --> 00:35:06,042
Irene, go on.
598
00:35:14,125 --> 00:35:15,875
Mm.
[baby grunts]
599
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:29,625
- Well, you did it.
You're one step closer to the finish line.
600
00:35:30,958 --> 00:35:31,792
How are you feeling?
601
00:35:32,875 --> 00:35:33,792
- Different.
602
00:35:33,792 --> 00:35:34,875
- Yes, of course.
603
00:35:35,833 --> 00:35:38,000
When the shock wears off,
you'll feel like a split turkey.
604
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:41,750
You'll want to slip into that.
605
00:35:42,750 --> 00:35:43,875
To heal your privates.
606
00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:44,792
[babies crying]
607
00:35:44,792 --> 00:35:45,958
- It's awkward,
608
00:35:45,958 --> 00:35:48,208
but like everything else
in this hellhole, you'll get used to it.
609
00:35:50,208 --> 00:35:52,208
[distant baby cries]
610
00:35:55,542 --> 00:35:58,375
- How lovely. Did you do this?
611
00:35:58,375 --> 00:35:59,583
- Me and the other girls.
612
00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:04,667
Thought it was about time we were,
I don't know, acknowledged.
613
00:36:05,333 --> 00:36:06,333
Celebrated.
614
00:36:06,833 --> 00:36:08,292
After all we put our bodies through.
615
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:10,708
Do you know what I mean?
616
00:36:11,792 --> 00:36:12,917
- I do.
617
00:36:12,917 --> 00:36:15,417
- Especially considering we don't even get
a couple of days to recover
618
00:36:15,417 --> 00:36:17,375
before they send us back to work.
619
00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,500
- At least we get to rest during feedings.
620
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:20,833
- Rest?
621
00:36:20,833 --> 00:36:23,000
I'd rather scrub floors
until my knuckles bleed.
622
00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:25,208
- Stop it.
- Stop what?
623
00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:27,417
- Acting like
you don't care about your baby.
624
00:36:27,417 --> 00:36:29,333
- It's not my baby, remember?
625
00:36:34,167 --> 00:36:35,875
- I'm sorry I said that, Irene.
626
00:36:37,417 --> 00:36:38,958
But it was months ago.
627
00:36:39,583 --> 00:36:41,208
I didn't know.
628
00:36:41,208 --> 00:36:42,500
I couldn't have known.
629
00:36:44,333 --> 00:36:45,667
Now that I do, I think--
630
00:36:45,667 --> 00:36:47,917
I think maybe
you should try and bond with her.
631
00:36:48,583 --> 00:36:49,583
- I can't.
632
00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,292
Not when I know she isn't mine.
633
00:36:56,792 --> 00:36:58,667
- But if you enjoy the time
you do have with her,
634
00:37:00,167 --> 00:37:01,917
feed her, soothe her,
635
00:37:04,083 --> 00:37:05,958
maybe it'll make this time less miserable.
636
00:37:07,833 --> 00:37:09,083
Maybe years from now,
637
00:37:11,583 --> 00:37:13,375
it'll be the one thing you hold on to.
638
00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:17,083
Can't you just try?
639
00:37:17,583 --> 00:37:19,333
I know you're tired of pretending.
640
00:37:21,792 --> 00:37:23,708
Believe me, I understand how hard it is.
641
00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:26,458
- Don't worry about me, Eleanor.
642
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,167
In a few weeks, this will all be over,
643
00:37:31,167 --> 00:37:32,958
and I'll be able to move on with my life.
644
00:37:36,542 --> 00:37:37,542
We both will.
645
00:37:37,542 --> 00:37:42,167
♪
646
00:37:47,792 --> 00:37:49,792
[baby crying]
647
00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:57,000
- [claps] Time to feed.
[Covey gasps]
648
00:37:59,125 --> 00:38:01,125
[baby crying]
649
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,125
SISTER JANETTE:
I hear ya. I know.
650
00:38:08,125 --> 00:38:09,083
COVEY:
Where's Irene?
651
00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:11,250
SISTER JANETTE:
Not that it's any of your business,
652
00:38:11,250 --> 00:38:12,625
but she's been discharged.
653
00:38:13,250 --> 00:38:15,375
[baby cries]
- But it hasn't been six weeks.
654
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,625
- She was unable and unwilling to nurse.
655
00:38:18,625 --> 00:38:19,917
We needed to free up the bed.
656
00:38:21,750 --> 00:38:24,292
- Where did she go?
SISTER JANETTE: Home.
657
00:38:24,292 --> 00:38:26,042
- Home? But her parents--
658
00:38:26,042 --> 00:38:28,792
- They came to pick her up this afternoon.
659
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,250
It was quite a warm reception.
660
00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:35,000
They're eager to move on,
661
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,000
as a family.
662
00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:38,708
Hush now.
663
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:41,917
We have a hungry baby on our hands.
664
00:38:43,667 --> 00:38:45,083
- Hello there, Mathilda.
665
00:38:45,750 --> 00:38:47,417
Are you hungry, my sweet girl?
666
00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:50,333
[Covey shushes]
667
00:38:50,792 --> 00:38:51,875
I'm here.
668
00:38:53,208 --> 00:38:56,583
[babies crying]
669
00:38:56,583 --> 00:38:59,000
SISTER JANETTE:
Oh, it's a bit of rash.
670
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:01,208
Terrible stuff.
671
00:39:01,917 --> 00:39:04,917
♪ uneasy music playing ♪
672
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:11,208
[Nuns chatter indistinctly]
673
00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:14,000
♪
674
00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:18,083
♪ uneasy music intensifies ♪
675
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,250
♪
676
00:39:50,417 --> 00:39:52,125
- And where do you think you're going?
677
00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:57,083
- I don't know.
678
00:39:58,292 --> 00:39:59,125
I just--
679
00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:02,542
I have to get outta here,
680
00:40:03,625 --> 00:40:05,125
and I have to take her with me.
681
00:40:06,208 --> 00:40:07,208
- I understand.
682
00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:10,708
- You do?
683
00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:14,792
- Of course.
It's perfectly normal to feel this way,
684
00:40:14,792 --> 00:40:16,250
so close to the birth.
685
00:40:17,292 --> 00:40:18,708
But let me ask you something.
686
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:22,458
How far you think you're gonna get
with two diapers and a blanket?
687
00:40:23,250 --> 00:40:25,917
The child won't survive. Neither will you.
688
00:40:27,167 --> 00:40:29,917
You're not in your right mind
to make such a decision.
689
00:40:29,917 --> 00:40:32,083
You've been waking up
all hours of the night,
690
00:40:32,083 --> 00:40:33,958
barely eating or sleeping.
691
00:40:34,750 --> 00:40:37,083
Why don't you... get some rest?
692
00:40:38,667 --> 00:40:40,667
And we'll talk about all this
in the morning.
693
00:40:45,792 --> 00:40:48,875
♪
694
00:40:51,667 --> 00:40:53,167
[baby fussing]
695
00:40:56,792 --> 00:40:57,792
- You're right.
696
00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,417
I'm so sorry
to have worried you, Sister Madeline.
697
00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:04,708
- [softly] That's okay.
You go and get some sleep.
698
00:41:05,375 --> 00:41:07,083
Right now, you're in a fog.
699
00:41:07,625 --> 00:41:10,667
But tomorrow,
everything will be much clearer.
700
00:41:11,458 --> 00:41:12,458
I promise.
701
00:41:20,625 --> 00:41:23,792
ELEANOR:
I had grown accustomed to pretending.
702
00:41:23,792 --> 00:41:28,042
Pretending I was a girl
raised by my grandmother in the mountains.
703
00:41:28,042 --> 00:41:31,167
Pretending I was an orphan nurse.
704
00:41:35,917 --> 00:41:39,042
And now, I would pretend
that I was the same person
705
00:41:39,042 --> 00:41:41,833
who walked into that home
for unwed mothers.
706
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:46,917
A young woman
unwilling and unfit to be a mother.
707
00:41:49,333 --> 00:41:52,792
But I knew something
Sister Madeline did not.
708
00:41:53,542 --> 00:41:58,042
I knew that love was enough
to make me a fit parent,
709
00:41:58,833 --> 00:42:00,750
that I was enough.
710
00:42:15,375 --> 00:42:19,458
I just had to wait until the right moment
to prove it.
711
00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:28,583
♪ somber music playing ♪
712
00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:45,875
[Mathilda breathes deeply]
713
00:42:52,167 --> 00:42:56,625
♪
714
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,000
- I'll be home soon, my girl.
715
00:43:11,708 --> 00:43:16,208
♪
716
00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:26,375
PEARL:
The boat leaves in an hour, Mathilda.
717
00:43:26,375 --> 00:43:28,500
You'll just make it if you hurry.
718
00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:30,792
- I'll write to you when I reach America,
719
00:43:30,792 --> 00:43:32,625
and then I'll be back for Covey,
720
00:43:33,417 --> 00:43:36,042
when I find somewhere safe
for us to start over.
721
00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:40,333
- Here. It's my share of the cake money.
722
00:43:40,333 --> 00:43:43,208
- No. I can't accept this.
723
00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,708
You have your own family.
724
00:43:44,708 --> 00:43:46,958
- You are my family.
725
00:43:49,542 --> 00:43:53,125
- Promise me you will protect her,
726
00:43:53,125 --> 00:43:56,833
and wrap your arms around her for me
every single day.
727
00:43:58,792 --> 00:44:00,958
- I promise.
[both cry, sniffle]
728
00:44:04,792 --> 00:44:05,625
Now go.
729
00:44:06,292 --> 00:44:07,125
Go on.
730
00:44:07,125 --> 00:44:08,583
Before you lose your nerve.
731
00:44:12,958 --> 00:44:15,958
[birds chirping]
732
00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,000
[Covey gasps]
733
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:20,333
♪ tense music playing ♪
734
00:44:27,292 --> 00:44:28,292
- Where's Mathilda?
735
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:32,792
Wh-Why didn't anyone wake me to feed
or for morning chores?
736
00:44:32,792 --> 00:44:35,917
- Our mistake. Get dressed
and head on down to the kitchen, will you?
737
00:44:35,917 --> 00:44:39,250
♪
738
00:44:43,542 --> 00:44:44,500
- Sister Madeline!
739
00:44:45,333 --> 00:44:46,458
Sister Madeline!
740
00:44:51,417 --> 00:44:52,417
MAN:
What a beauty.
741
00:44:52,417 --> 00:44:54,458
- Oh, she's absolutely perfect.
742
00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:59,125
Oh, would you look at that, Ron?
I think she smiled at me.
743
00:45:00,042 --> 00:45:01,042
- What are you doing?
744
00:45:01,042 --> 00:45:03,125
SISTER MADELINE:
Okay, let me take care of this. Hello--
745
00:45:03,125 --> 00:45:06,208
- Sister Madeline,
you have to stop this! Please!
746
00:45:06,208 --> 00:45:07,417
SISTER MADELINE:
Everything is fine.
747
00:45:07,417 --> 00:45:09,500
- Give her to me! That's my baby!
- Everything is fine.
748
00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,208
- No, you lied to me!
- No.
749
00:45:11,208 --> 00:45:12,542
- Please, don't do this to me!
750
00:45:12,542 --> 00:45:14,208
Please, please!
- Oh, okay.
751
00:45:14,208 --> 00:45:16,667
- I-I changed my mind.
I take it all back.
752
00:45:16,667 --> 00:45:19,500
- It's too late!
- No! I didn't know what I was doing.
753
00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:22,833
I didn't know what I was signing.
Please, I want her. Please!
754
00:45:22,833 --> 00:45:24,292
That's my baby!
755
00:45:24,292 --> 00:45:26,250
[door closes]
- No! Mathilda!
756
00:45:28,292 --> 00:45:29,125
No!
757
00:45:30,833 --> 00:45:31,667
No!
758
00:45:31,875 --> 00:45:35,625
[screams] No! No! Please!
759
00:45:35,625 --> 00:45:38,208
Please! [gasping breaths]
760
00:45:38,208 --> 00:45:41,333
♪ somber music playing ♪
761
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,333
[Covey whimpers]
762
00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:47,208
♪
763
00:45:47,208 --> 00:45:49,208
[sobs]
764
00:45:52,292 --> 00:45:54,708
SISTER MADELINE:
They've been praying for a baby for years.
765
00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:56,583
[gasping breaths]
766
00:45:56,583 --> 00:46:01,125
- And they've agreed to keep Mathilda
as her middle name at my request, so...
767
00:46:01,125 --> 00:46:03,292
[Covey cries]
768
00:46:03,292 --> 00:46:06,917
- A little piece of you
will be with her always.
769
00:46:09,208 --> 00:46:10,708
Take comfort in that, will you?
770
00:46:10,708 --> 00:46:11,875
[Covey sobs]
771
00:46:15,458 --> 00:46:17,000
- Come on, dear.
772
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,875
Let's get you packed and on your way.
773
00:46:18,875 --> 00:46:21,708
[gasps, cries]
774
00:46:23,583 --> 00:46:25,833
- [crying] Where will I go?
775
00:46:25,833 --> 00:46:27,958
- You've done a good thing.
776
00:46:28,917 --> 00:46:30,708
God will lead the way, child.
777
00:46:30,708 --> 00:46:33,000
[sobbing]
778
00:46:40,708 --> 00:46:43,708
♪ Girl from the North Country
by Bob Dylan playing ♪
779
00:46:49,167 --> 00:46:51,917
ELEANOR:
I will never know what kept my mum away.
780
00:46:51,917 --> 00:46:54,083
- ♪ If you're travelin' ♪
781
00:46:55,125 --> 00:46:57,375
♪ To the north country fair ♪
782
00:46:57,375 --> 00:47:00,375
ELEANOR:
But I believe, with all my heart,
783
00:47:03,292 --> 00:47:05,667
that she wanted to come back for me.
784
00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,375
- ♪ Remember me ♪
785
00:47:10,833 --> 00:47:12,042
♪ To one who... ♪
786
00:47:12,042 --> 00:47:14,083
ELEANOR:
I have to believe that.
787
00:47:15,708 --> 00:47:17,958
- ♪ Oh she once was ♪
788
00:47:19,167 --> 00:47:21,583
♪ A true love of mine ♪
789
00:47:22,250 --> 00:47:27,250
ELEANOR: For weeks,
I walked the streets, hoping I'd find you.
790
00:47:28,750 --> 00:47:30,667
PROTESTER [on megaphone]:
Speak now, brothers and sisters.
791
00:47:30,667 --> 00:47:32,125
Let our burdens be known!
792
00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,125
[students protesting]
793
00:47:34,917 --> 00:47:36,583
ELEANOR:
And then I saw him,
794
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:40,375
my reason to keep living.
795
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:43,333
- ♪ See for me that her hair's... ♪
796
00:47:43,333 --> 00:47:46,417
ELEANOR: If Gibbs Grant had only known
what he was getting into that day
797
00:47:46,417 --> 00:47:49,375
when I nearly walked in front of a bus,
798
00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:52,292
instead of into his arms,
799
00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:56,833
I'm not sure he would've kept walking.
800
00:47:59,083 --> 00:48:01,125
But I'm so grateful that he did.
801
00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:07,458
[on recording] Just as I am grateful
for the time I had with you,
802
00:48:08,125 --> 00:48:10,833
Mabel Mathilda.
803
00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:13,667
You must know, my firstborn,
804
00:48:13,667 --> 00:48:18,208
that even if I couldn't find the courage
to tell my family about you,
805
00:48:18,958 --> 00:48:21,250
you are always here with me.
806
00:48:21,250 --> 00:48:22,542
With us.
807
00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:24,167
You are everywhere.
808
00:48:24,167 --> 00:48:25,250
Know that.
809
00:48:25,250 --> 00:48:26,083
[clicks off]
810
00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,583
- I'm sorry. I just, um--
811
00:48:28,583 --> 00:48:30,083
I just need a break. [sniffling]
812
00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:34,000
♪ solemn music playing ♪
813
00:48:44,208 --> 00:48:45,125
- Byron,
814
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:48,083
the daffodils.
815
00:48:49,750 --> 00:48:51,750
♪
816
00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:04,500
- I am so sorry.
817
00:49:05,917 --> 00:49:07,125
For coming here unannounced
818
00:49:07,125 --> 00:49:10,625
and storming out yesterday
like a madwoman.
819
00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:14,917
- Mabel,
820
00:49:16,083 --> 00:49:17,083
come on.
821
00:49:17,083 --> 00:49:18,500
There's something you should see.
822
00:49:26,458 --> 00:49:29,000
- Ma was obsessed with this garden.
823
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:29,875
BYRON: Hmm.
824
00:49:29,875 --> 00:49:33,292
- And now, after hearing her talk
about the daffodils in bloom
825
00:49:33,292 --> 00:49:34,375
when you were born--
826
00:49:35,042 --> 00:49:36,708
She planted these for you.
827
00:49:38,583 --> 00:49:39,875
ELEANOR:
Mabel,
828
00:49:39,875 --> 00:49:42,875
I hope that
you will find comfort in knowing
829
00:49:42,875 --> 00:49:46,125
that you are not alone in this world.
830
00:49:47,917 --> 00:49:51,583
As I reach the end of my time here,
831
00:49:51,583 --> 00:49:56,583
I find myself feeling closer
to my mother than ever before.
832
00:49:56,583 --> 00:50:01,292
If only I had more time
to find out what happened to her.
833
00:50:01,292 --> 00:50:04,542
Maybe you can do that for me, my loves.
834
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:11,667
B and B, I don't know how you will feel
after hearing everything I've had to say.
835
00:50:12,292 --> 00:50:14,042
You may be upset.
836
00:50:14,042 --> 00:50:16,167
You may be asking yourselves
837
00:50:16,167 --> 00:50:18,833
if you can ever really know who I am.
838
00:50:19,833 --> 00:50:22,167
And this is what I need you to hear.
839
00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:26,625
You have always known who I am.
840
00:50:27,875 --> 00:50:30,833
Who I am is your mother.
841
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:38,000
[on recording] My children,
I've reached the end of my story.
842
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,250
This is it for me.
843
00:50:41,750 --> 00:50:44,458
I realize, of course,
844
00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:48,958
that I'm leaving you
with so many unanswered questions,
845
00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:52,333
particularly... about my wedding.
846
00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:57,250
And I understand
if you still want answers.
847
00:50:58,250 --> 00:51:01,167
So you deserve to know
that there is still someone out there
848
00:51:01,167 --> 00:51:03,000
who can give them to you.
849
00:51:03,833 --> 00:51:07,125
Someone who knows what really happened.
850
00:51:08,375 --> 00:51:10,375
Although, I must admit
851
00:51:10,375 --> 00:51:13,708
I'm afraid of what you'll think
if you find out the truth.
852
00:51:14,417 --> 00:51:15,708
So please,
853
00:51:16,458 --> 00:51:19,083
before you go digging into the past,
854
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,833
just know that
it might not be what you expect.
855
00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:32,167
♪ ominous music playing ♪
856
00:51:37,625 --> 00:51:41,833
♪
857
00:51:51,792 --> 00:51:52,958
And please,
858
00:51:56,125 --> 00:52:00,417
try to understand
that nothing about that night was easy.
859
00:52:03,958 --> 00:52:09,500
♪
860
00:52:16,542 --> 00:52:17,792
But in the end,
861
00:52:18,917 --> 00:52:20,542
it had to be done.
862
00:52:26,583 --> 00:52:31,583
♪
863
00:52:33,583 --> 00:52:37,542
♪ gentle music playing ♪
864
00:53:54,083 --> 00:53:59,583
♪
865
00:54:27,583 --> 00:54:30,583
♪ music fades out ♪
60662
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