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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Oh.
2
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Uh, good morning.
3
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Good morning, Liza. This is Beth.
4
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Hi! It's so nice to meet you, Beth.
5
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Likewise. I finally get
to meet the roommate.
6
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Yoga at 10:00?
7
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- Yeah.
- Okay.
8
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- Bye.
- Mm.
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Uh, is that the vagina counselor?
10
00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:28,943
Yes. We just finished a session.
11
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Ugh.
12
00:00:31,260 --> 00:00:32,841
And now you're doing yoga.
13
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,718
Wow. I don't even know you anymore.
14
00:00:34,781 --> 00:00:36,404
Oh, we hardly ever see each other,
15
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I mean, now that we're all boo'd up.
16
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We should have a little double date...
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me and Beth, you and Charles.
18
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Yeah, I just...
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I promise not to call him Chaz.
20
00:00:43,908 --> 00:00:46,087
No, it's not that. It's just...
21
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I'm worried that he...
22
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He might be secretly
funding a new company.
23
00:00:50,749 --> 00:00:53,031
- Chaz?
- I know it sounds crazy.
24
00:00:53,056 --> 00:00:55,741
It's just, there are a lot,
like, of odd coincidences.
25
00:00:55,766 --> 00:00:57,142
Like, he recently took out
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00:00:57,167 --> 00:00:58,887
a huge mortgage on his town house.
27
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Well, he's going through a divorce.
28
00:01:00,174 --> 00:01:01,394
He probably needs the cash.
29
00:01:01,419 --> 00:01:03,248
- I know. You're right.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:03,273 --> 00:01:05,267
But I... also, I saw
him meeting with Zane.
31
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- Mm-hmm.
- And now this new publishing company
32
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with Zane in charge buys a book
33
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right out from under Millennial.
34
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Eh. Sounds random.
35
00:01:13,202 --> 00:01:14,663
But if you're looking for trouble,
36
00:01:14,688 --> 00:01:16,187
you're probably going to find it.
37
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:22,622
Okay. Marketing.
38
00:01:22,677 --> 00:01:25,250
I was allotting a certain budget
for Audrey Colbert's advance,
39
00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:26,983
but now that we don't
have that anymore,
40
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what do we have to promote?
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Bronwyn Madigan just finished
the final pass on her new book.
42
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"The Seasoned Slut"? Really?
43
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Well, I mean, the
main character's a chef
44
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and also older... and a slut.
45
00:01:38,592 --> 00:01:39,955
- Oh.
- There's a great recipe
46
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for meatloaf in the back.
47
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It's erotica for baby boomers.
48
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Her books did well for Empirical.
49
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Maybe Millennial makes
a bigger push to show
50
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that a female-run company
supports our female authors.
51
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,770
Okay, let's just make sure
that she re-ups her contract.
52
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As the boss, I suggest
you make that happen.
53
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She's a cash cow, and...
Millennial could use the milk.
54
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Did you have to say that?
55
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I did.
56
00:02:06,116 --> 00:02:07,736
Look at this.
57
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He always looks like a dog
that just ate your pizza.
58
00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,225
We need to make sure that
we have the funds in place
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00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,389
to compete with him and
whoever's backing this.
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00:02:14,414 --> 00:02:16,256
Do you think that it could be, like,
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00:02:16,281 --> 00:02:18,061
one really rich person?
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No way.
63
00:02:20,104 --> 00:02:21,874
I found out that Mercury has offices
64
00:02:21,899 --> 00:02:23,624
in the Financial District.
65
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It's got to the some
deep-pocketed media company
66
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:28,355
who has the resources
to play in publishing.
67
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:29,720
Yeah, that sounds right.
68
00:02:29,745 --> 00:02:31,685
I'm going to lunch, and on my way,
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00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:33,913
I'm going to pay Zane a
little surprise visit
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00:02:33,938 --> 00:02:36,605
and find out how big of a
problem he's actually gonna be.
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00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:11,940
What is this?
72
00:03:12,462 --> 00:03:14,690
Welcome to Mercury.
73
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This is a community workspace.
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00:03:17,228 --> 00:03:19,520
This is where you go if you're
starting a taco pop-up.
75
00:03:19,606 --> 00:03:21,770
This is the future of business.
76
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There's no overhead, and
I take all my meetings
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at Suffolk House.
78
00:03:25,209 --> 00:03:27,030
Is that how you got Audrey Colbert?
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A nice breakfast and a big check?
80
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:32,489
Oh, money isn't everything.
Sometimes it's about charm.
81
00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:35,051
So you slept with her?
82
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God, that is completely unethical...
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and so creepy.
84
00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:40,592
Oh, but it's fine when you do it?
85
00:03:40,643 --> 00:03:44,304
I've only slept with my
authors after they signed.
86
00:03:44,365 --> 00:03:46,304
- Mm.
- Is that what this is about?
87
00:03:46,371 --> 00:03:47,952
You getting back at me?
88
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,170
You went after Audrey
because you knew I was.
89
00:03:50,195 --> 00:03:52,083
You lost the book, Peters.
Suck it up, all right?
90
00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:53,213
There will be others...
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00:03:53,238 --> 00:03:55,967
oh, if they don't all get
snatched up by me first.
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00:03:56,073 --> 00:03:58,487
This isn't cute, Zane.
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00:03:58,756 --> 00:04:01,097
That book was important
to me, and you know it.
94
00:04:01,368 --> 00:04:03,592
You could've been up
front, but you played me.
95
00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,115
Listen, you are energetically
inflamed, all right?
96
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:17,754
Your aura is like a cartoon
bird that just ate a pepper.
97
00:04:18,365 --> 00:04:19,945
I am stressed, okay?
98
00:04:20,013 --> 00:04:23,045
And my quick, easy way
to de-stress was Zane,
99
00:04:23,070 --> 00:04:24,779
and I hate him now.
100
00:04:25,111 --> 00:04:28,251
Okay, okay, let's, um... let's
redirect some of that heat
101
00:04:28,276 --> 00:04:30,183
before I have to take one
for the team, all right?
102
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:31,233
Pull up your apps, Kels.
103
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We can find you
104
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some no-strings-attached love tonight.
105
00:04:34,078 --> 00:04:35,875
Okay, well, it's going to take a second
106
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,742
because I just added them
back on the train.
107
00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:40,111
Um, that is not
how dating apps work, babe.
108
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,058
Yeah, you... your profile
doesn't come down
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00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:43,547
just because you delete
the app off your phone.
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The bait has been in the water.
111
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Then how come I don't have any bites?
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I don't know. Give.
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Oh, Kelsey, no, no, no.
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This says that you're
Publisher of Millennial Print.
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Yeah. That is my job.
116
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Yes. And it is a great job,
and I am in constant awe
117
00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:03,944
of your accomplishments,
but this kind of overachieving
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00:05:03,969 --> 00:05:05,665
only works if you're trying
to pick up women, all right?
119
00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:07,871
Men don't want to deal
with your big-dick energy.
120
00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,480
Oh, my God. Okay.
121
00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:11,390
I don't have that energy,
and you're shouting.
122
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You have BDE, Kelsey. You do.
123
00:05:13,767 --> 00:05:15,107
I mean, you are basically wielding
124
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,725
a giant psychic schlong.
125
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I almost got us a three-top.
126
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I don't have big-dick energy, okay?
127
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There's just something wrong
with my app.
128
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:24,164
Yes, okay, and I will show you.
129
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I'll show you what
is wrong with your apps.
130
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What is a creative director?
131
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No one knows, okay? And no one cares.
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Oh!
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00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,341
What was that?
134
00:05:39,429 --> 00:05:41,290
Did someone get a ding?
135
00:05:47,471 --> 00:05:48,742
Liza!
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00:05:48,767 --> 00:05:51,088
I just got off the phone
with a rep from MetroCycle.
137
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I pitched them the idea of
putting erotica on the kiosks.
138
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- Bronwyn's?
- No, my own.
139
00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,828
Yes, Bronwyn's!
140
00:05:57,853 --> 00:05:59,810
We are working out a deal where
excerpts from her book appear
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on every kiosk from April to June...
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00:06:01,584 --> 00:06:03,281
a sign that spring has sprung.
143
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,611
Oh, we could call the campaign
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"Get On and Get Off."
145
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That's disgusting.
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Maybe.
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Call Bronwyn, give her the headline,
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see if that spurs her on
to sign the contract.
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00:06:19,952 --> 00:06:21,677
- Hi.
- Thanks for helping out.
150
00:06:21,702 --> 00:06:24,003
Yeah, of course.
Hi, baby girl. How are you?
151
00:06:24,028 --> 00:06:26,179
- Oh, yeah.
- I have to crash this program.
152
00:06:26,204 --> 00:06:28,334
- Okay.
- It's only gonna take
153
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a couple of days.
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I pumped.
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Put half in the fridge,
half in the freezer.
156
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All right.
157
00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:37,203
Oh, hey, hey.
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00:06:37,294 --> 00:06:39,555
Hey, what's going on, baby girl?
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00:06:39,585 --> 00:06:42,126
- She's probably just hungry.
- We okay?
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She's hungry all the time.
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Okay.
162
00:06:45,493 --> 00:06:47,033
Ooh.
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Here we go.
164
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Okay.
165
00:06:54,352 --> 00:06:56,213
Oh.
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00:06:56,602 --> 00:06:58,617
- Ow.
- Ow? What?
167
00:06:58,642 --> 00:07:01,523
- Oh, nothing. It's fine.
- That doesn't sound fine.
168
00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,378
- What can I do to help?
- Uh...
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00:07:03,621 --> 00:07:04,859
What's happening?
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00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:07,711
Ah, I think I just have a clogged duct.
171
00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:09,343
It's fine. Ah!
172
00:07:09,641 --> 00:07:12,342
Oh.
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00:07:13,783 --> 00:07:15,684
I'm so sorry.
174
00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:18,375
I guess it's unclogged.
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I don't know, something
natural, easy, a little sexy.
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00:07:24,247 --> 00:07:25,388
Of course.
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00:07:25,413 --> 00:07:27,672
- You going out tonight?
- Yes.
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00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,953
Tonight I'm practicing
a little self-care
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with someone else.
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00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,734
Okay!
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00:07:32,889 --> 00:07:36,450
Well, one tip for keeping this
blowout fresh... no missionary.
182
00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:38,421
Oh, no problem.
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00:07:38,509 --> 00:07:40,227
I like you.
184
00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:42,643
My roommate says
I need to tone it down.
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00:07:42,719 --> 00:07:45,617
- She claims I have BDE.
- Big-dick energy?
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00:07:45,642 --> 00:07:47,883
- According to her.
- Uh-oh.
187
00:07:47,908 --> 00:07:50,718
Yeah. Uh, apparently it's
a turn-off if you're a woman...
188
00:07:50,764 --> 00:07:52,445
Did you know you had a patch?
189
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:56,802
- What's that?
- You've lost some hair here.
190
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,802
Oh, my God.
191
00:08:00,968 --> 00:08:03,302
I don't have big-dick energy.
192
00:08:03,419 --> 00:08:07,552
I have bald-dude energy! Aah!
193
00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:15,983
Hey.
194
00:08:16,008 --> 00:08:18,039
- Does this hat look ridiculous?
- Shh!
195
00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:19,309
I've tried putting my hair up.
196
00:08:19,353 --> 00:08:20,658
I've tried putting a bandanna on.
197
00:08:20,683 --> 00:08:22,291
Kelsey, Kelsey,
I really don't want to hear
198
00:08:22,316 --> 00:08:23,492
about your bad hair day, okay?
199
00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:25,773
I-I have been up all night
with a crying baby.
200
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,031
Why? I don't know. I don't know.
201
00:08:27,056 --> 00:08:28,250
Because the rest of you
either don't have ears
202
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,515
or you don't have souls.
203
00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:31,953
It is not a bad hair day, Lauren.
204
00:08:32,062 --> 00:08:34,934
- My hair's falling out!
- Okay, well, animals shed.
205
00:08:34,959 --> 00:08:36,419
You're just blowin' coat. It's normal.
206
00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,836
I am not a sheltie!
207
00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:41,047
I've lost four clumps of hair
since last night. Four!
208
00:08:41,072 --> 00:08:43,973
I'm going to the doctor to see
if he can put them back in!
209
00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:45,476
Oh, my God!
210
00:08:45,501 --> 00:08:46,977
What happened?
211
00:08:47,002 --> 00:08:48,660
What happened? Did she wake up?
212
00:08:48,685 --> 00:08:50,920
No, Josh. You are the only
one who just woke up, okay?
213
00:08:50,945 --> 00:08:53,526
I mean, get it together, man!
Kelsey doesn't need this!
214
00:08:53,551 --> 00:08:55,170
She's got a bag full of hair!
215
00:09:07,226 --> 00:09:09,086
Kelsey.
216
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,266
Bronwyn Madigan is coming in today,
217
00:09:11,291 --> 00:09:12,511
and we need to put on a show,
218
00:09:12,536 --> 00:09:14,272
which you can be the ringleader of
219
00:09:14,297 --> 00:09:16,630
since you're wearing a top hat?
220
00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:19,560
- What's going on?
- She won't sign her contract.
221
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:21,716
I thinks she just needs some
face time with the new boss.
222
00:09:21,741 --> 00:09:23,264
Make sure she's in good hands.
223
00:09:23,289 --> 00:09:25,270
So I'd re-think the Sorting Hat.
224
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,518
Some of my hair...
225
00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:29,518
has recently gone.
226
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:32,209
The doctor says that it's alopecia.
227
00:09:32,234 --> 00:09:33,912
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
228
00:09:33,937 --> 00:09:36,198
I had alopecia... not on my head.
229
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,490
I've also had
stress-induced dermatitis,
230
00:09:38,515 --> 00:09:39,459
three bulging disks,
231
00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:42,138
and something quaintly referred
to as "nutcracker's esophagus."
232
00:09:42,189 --> 00:09:44,168
Oh, and every April I get shingles,
233
00:09:44,193 --> 00:09:45,599
right up the side of my rib cage.
234
00:09:45,624 --> 00:09:47,211
It's like wearing an electric tube top
235
00:09:47,236 --> 00:09:48,577
one month out of the year.
236
00:09:48,706 --> 00:09:50,327
That's not making me feel better.
237
00:09:50,352 --> 00:09:52,099
It's making me feel better.
238
00:09:52,228 --> 00:09:55,289
Look, eventually the pendulum
swings the other way.
239
00:09:55,545 --> 00:09:57,460
In the meantime, just...
240
00:09:57,905 --> 00:09:59,710
hang in there.
241
00:10:03,685 --> 00:10:05,786
Can I take anything off your plate?
242
00:10:05,832 --> 00:10:08,529
Just keep an eye out, okay?
243
00:10:08,554 --> 00:10:09,864
Okay.
244
00:10:13,685 --> 00:10:16,906
MetroCycle has 62,000 riders a day,
245
00:10:16,931 --> 00:10:18,911
which guarantees at least that many
246
00:10:18,936 --> 00:10:20,676
the chance to marinate in your words
247
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:23,207
as they get on and get off.
248
00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:25,156
Gross.
249
00:10:25,181 --> 00:10:26,601
I agree. It's...
250
00:10:26,672 --> 00:10:29,460
You know, it's a great
marketing opportunity.
251
00:10:29,485 --> 00:10:31,778
And it's perfect for the release
of "The Seasoned Slut."
252
00:10:31,803 --> 00:10:33,144
It's not my demo.
253
00:10:33,353 --> 00:10:35,854
Women my age don't ride MetroCycle.
254
00:10:35,879 --> 00:10:37,286
I'm not so sure about that.
255
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,380
Do you ride MetroCycle?
256
00:10:39,481 --> 00:10:41,022
Funny story, I...
257
00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:43,348
Am I your demographic?
258
00:10:43,637 --> 00:10:46,171
We want to introduce
new readers to your books.
259
00:10:46,196 --> 00:10:48,818
I'm good. New readers can
find me in the Twittersphere.
260
00:10:48,843 --> 00:10:50,584
I'm a big tweeter.
261
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:54,450
I don't want to sign
with a company called Millennial
262
00:10:54,475 --> 00:10:56,776
and have my voice reimagined
for a new audience.
263
00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:58,790
Oh, Bronwyn. I promise you,
264
00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:01,441
we don't want to chance
your voice or your books.
265
00:11:01,466 --> 00:11:03,950
You say that now,
but I've been around the block.
266
00:11:03,975 --> 00:11:07,283
When you sign a contract,
you sign your rights away.
267
00:11:07,359 --> 00:11:08,914
I'm not going to re-up, ladies.
268
00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:11,120
I just thought I owed you
the face-to-face.
269
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,282
You've built your entire career here.
270
00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:16,033
No, I built my career at Empirical...
271
00:11:16,117 --> 00:11:18,283
where I met you as an assistant.
272
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,486
So your problem is with me?
273
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:23,132
No, my problem is
with the lack of value
274
00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:24,919
placed on experience.
275
00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:27,008
Where's the gray hair in the room?
276
00:11:27,234 --> 00:11:30,598
I write erotic fiction
for women of a certain age.
277
00:11:30,984 --> 00:11:32,445
Yeah...
278
00:11:32,506 --> 00:11:35,325
I bet any man would let
the two of you blow him.
279
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:36,419
"Let"?
280
00:11:36,444 --> 00:11:38,982
Women my age
have to work hard for that BJ,
281
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:40,828
and we are better at it.
282
00:11:41,279 --> 00:11:43,052
Am I right?
283
00:11:44,066 --> 00:11:46,327
Do people think I'm her age?
284
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,648
Maggie.
285
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,348
Oh, hey!
286
00:11:59,373 --> 00:12:00,716
I came all the way to Greenpoint
287
00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:02,310
so that I wouldn't run into anybody.
288
00:12:02,335 --> 00:12:03,583
Yeah, me too.
289
00:12:03,662 --> 00:12:05,174
I'm balding.
290
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,791
Yeah.
291
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,421
I think it's work-related.
I don't know.
292
00:12:09,451 --> 00:12:11,044
Well, itching and burning over here.
293
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:12,743
You know, this new woman
I'm seeing, Beth...
294
00:12:12,768 --> 00:12:14,698
she's got me doing so much hot yoga
295
00:12:14,723 --> 00:12:16,537
that my cooch finally had enough.
296
00:12:16,579 --> 00:12:18,282
There's a cure for that.
297
00:12:18,307 --> 00:12:20,277
The grass is always greener.
298
00:12:20,672 --> 00:12:22,526
Hey, why don't you
come over for a drink
299
00:12:22,595 --> 00:12:24,154
and a home-cooked meal?
300
00:12:24,179 --> 00:12:25,961
You can meet Beth.
I mean, she's a naturopath.
301
00:12:25,986 --> 00:12:29,448
Maybe she's got, you know,
a cure for your situation.
302
00:12:29,621 --> 00:12:31,962
Why don't you talk to her
about your situation?
303
00:12:32,101 --> 00:12:35,090
Well, the key
to a good lesbian relationship
304
00:12:35,115 --> 00:12:37,777
is never tell each other
about your yeast infections.
305
00:12:37,802 --> 00:12:39,062
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
306
00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:48,909
So I'm supposed to just not stress
307
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,395
while my hair is falling out?
308
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:51,801
No, you're supposed to try
309
00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:53,927
to remember that
everything is temporary.
310
00:12:53,952 --> 00:12:56,402
Oh, that's nice to hear from
the woman that you're dating.
311
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:57,521
Hey!
312
00:12:57,546 --> 00:12:59,944
Hi, we come bearing Blackout cake.
313
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,835
- Hey!
- Kelsey, good to see you.
314
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:04,091
Just don't look too close.
315
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,242
Hey, Charles. Liza.
316
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:07,741
Hey.
317
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:10,490
I saw the prescription in the bathroom.
318
00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:12,099
Oh, God. Can you pretend
that you didn't?
319
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,067
No, it's fine.
320
00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,974
It's just that that shit's
loaded with chemicals,
321
00:13:14,999 --> 00:13:17,418
and you should really
try a natural antifungal.
322
00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:18,784
Like what?
323
00:13:18,809 --> 00:13:20,255
- Boop.
- Garlic?
324
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,340
Yes.
325
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:22,918
Mm-hmm.
326
00:13:23,377 --> 00:13:26,918
- Wait, what are you doing?
- Trust me.
327
00:13:28,865 --> 00:13:31,019
Breathe.
328
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,269
- Oh, my God, you're crazy.
- Shh.
329
00:13:34,577 --> 00:13:37,518
It's... it's tingling.
330
00:13:37,543 --> 00:13:40,351
It's doing the job already.
331
00:13:40,777 --> 00:13:42,278
Okay.
332
00:13:47,814 --> 00:13:49,115
Here you go.
333
00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:52,401
Mmm. Maggie, this looks so good!
334
00:13:52,426 --> 00:13:54,247
Mmm. It does.
335
00:13:54,339 --> 00:13:56,080
Is there garlic bread
on the menu tonight?
336
00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:58,044
- Oh, no.
- Really?
337
00:13:58,091 --> 00:14:00,208
- 'Cause I'm totally smelling it.
- Yeah.
338
00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:02,138
Well, there's no bread.
339
00:14:02,163 --> 00:14:04,217
You don't serve bread with polenta.
340
00:14:07,025 --> 00:14:09,060
Did you tell Charles
about Bronwyn Madigan?
341
00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:10,567
- Uh, not yet.
- Wait a minute.
342
00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:13,099
Is that the woman that writes
those horny senior novels?
343
00:14:13,296 --> 00:14:14,796
Is she one of your authors?
344
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:15,982
She was.
345
00:14:16,007 --> 00:14:18,008
She left because we're too young
346
00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:20,505
to understand how to publish her books.
347
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,881
You can't win.
348
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,060
Don't be too young,
but don't be too old,
349
00:14:25,085 --> 00:14:27,771
and work hard, but don't stress.
350
00:14:27,796 --> 00:14:30,960
Well, the new person
always has the hard job
351
00:14:30,985 --> 00:14:32,951
of proving themselves to the old guard.
352
00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:34,953
- Hmm.
- You'll be fine.
353
00:14:39,385 --> 00:14:42,380
It's as if someone is
toasting an everything bagel.
354
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:45,115
Maybe you're having a stroke.
355
00:14:45,140 --> 00:14:46,921
Oh, my gosh, I just got it.
356
00:14:47,072 --> 00:14:48,364
Is there something in the oven?
357
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,202
Um, not exactly.
358
00:14:50,227 --> 00:14:51,903
Oh, so do you guys all work together?
359
00:14:51,928 --> 00:14:52,857
We used to.
360
00:14:52,882 --> 00:14:54,630
Ah, we don't have to talk about work.
361
00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:55,912
Oh, my God!
362
00:14:55,937 --> 00:14:58,521
Have you heard about Zane's
new publishing house?
363
00:14:58,546 --> 00:15:00,047
Mercury?
364
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:04,498
The god of profit and trickery...
it is so Zane.
365
00:15:04,523 --> 00:15:06,999
Yeah, I heard about the, uh...
the Audrey Colbert book.
366
00:15:07,024 --> 00:15:09,528
That was a, uh... I was surprised.
367
00:15:10,081 --> 00:15:12,863
- Um, is there more wine?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
368
00:15:13,002 --> 00:15:15,607
On top of all the stress
of being a brand-new publisher,
369
00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:18,533
I also get to deal with Zane
targeting all my authors.
370
00:15:19,078 --> 00:15:20,528
Ooh.
371
00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:24,278
Ooh, ooh, I just got
a really big hit of it again.
372
00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:27,528
- Oh, it's like a garlic knot.
- Yes!
373
00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,945
You guys have a garlic knot
haunting your apartment.
374
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,099
- Oh, my God.
- Or escargot.
375
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,431
I love escargot.
376
00:15:34,456 --> 00:15:36,732
People are smelling me.
377
00:15:36,757 --> 00:15:38,849
It's okay. It's natural.
378
00:15:38,874 --> 00:15:40,815
You know, Kelsey, about Zane...
379
00:15:40,901 --> 00:15:42,998
that... that's just business.
380
00:15:43,106 --> 00:15:44,537
I'm sure it's not personal.
381
00:15:44,562 --> 00:15:46,623
Well, then you clearly
don't know Zane very well,
382
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:49,682
because he's up to something,
and he's not working alone,
383
00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:51,732
but he wants to
make it seem like he is.
384
00:15:51,904 --> 00:15:53,427
Yeah, it is strange.
385
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,763
Someone is clearly giving him money.
386
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,285
I know, but who?
387
00:15:58,341 --> 00:15:59,722
Who is it?
388
00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:02,169
Seriously, who is it?
389
00:16:02,246 --> 00:16:04,318
It's me! I'm the garlic knot.
390
00:16:04,343 --> 00:16:06,521
Beth stuck a whole clove up my pussy.
391
00:16:06,576 --> 00:16:08,838
It's plant medicine.
392
00:16:08,970 --> 00:16:11,587
And I think it smells fine.
393
00:16:11,751 --> 00:16:13,451
- Maggie!
- Oh, my God.
394
00:16:25,771 --> 00:16:27,642
Hey.
395
00:16:27,841 --> 00:16:29,966
Is there something
you're not telling me?
396
00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,989
Yeah. You know, in a...
in a lot of circles,
397
00:16:33,286 --> 00:16:36,388
Bronwyn's books are known as,
uh, matron lit.
398
00:16:36,754 --> 00:16:39,015
Uh, so it... it probably
wouldn't be a good fit
399
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,461
for Millennial anyway.
400
00:16:40,487 --> 00:16:42,489
Good night, Liza.
401
00:16:45,918 --> 00:16:47,989
Charles...
402
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:52,079
I have lied to a lot of people
for a long time,
403
00:16:52,104 --> 00:16:54,489
and I know what it looks like.
404
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:56,681
I saw you with Zane.
405
00:16:56,727 --> 00:16:58,388
I know you mortgaged the town house,
406
00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:00,738
and I think you're behind Mercury.
407
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:07,185
I never wanted to give up publishing.
408
00:17:09,007 --> 00:17:11,489
I wanted to be with you.
409
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:13,956
And I wanted to keep the company going,
410
00:17:13,981 --> 00:17:16,825
so I had to make choices.
411
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:19,330
So you are behind Mercury.
412
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,822
- Why didn't you just tell me?
- I'm sorry, Liza.
413
00:17:24,937 --> 00:17:26,358
I was planning to tell you.
414
00:17:26,383 --> 00:17:28,324
I was looking for the right time.
415
00:17:28,349 --> 00:17:30,123
To be honest, this whole thing
416
00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:33,021
took off a lot faster than expected.
417
00:17:33,082 --> 00:17:35,591
But I don't understand.
Millennial is your company.
418
00:17:35,616 --> 00:17:38,077
No, it's my dad's company.
419
00:17:38,386 --> 00:17:41,248
I wanted to build something of my own.
420
00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:42,761
And this...
421
00:17:42,786 --> 00:17:44,759
this was my chance...
422
00:17:45,142 --> 00:17:48,759
to take a risk, to...
to reinvent myself.
423
00:17:49,047 --> 00:17:51,789
If anyone can understand that...
424
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,610
it's you.
425
00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:55,911
You cannot be
on the board of Millennial
426
00:17:55,963 --> 00:17:58,443
and run a competing publishing house.
427
00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:02,009
I just need some time to figure it out.
428
00:18:03,288 --> 00:18:05,259
Until that time...
429
00:18:05,323 --> 00:18:07,509
can this stay between us?
430
00:18:08,606 --> 00:18:11,988
- You mean don't tell Kelsey.
- Not anyone.
431
00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:15,271
Just for now.
432
00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:26,707
- Hey.
- Don't come too close.
433
00:18:26,732 --> 00:18:28,904
- I'm still off-gassing.
- What a night.
434
00:18:28,944 --> 00:18:30,646
At least your date
didn't try to stuff you
435
00:18:30,671 --> 00:18:32,482
like a cocktail olive.
436
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,216
- Hey.
- I can't text, I'm running.
437
00:18:39,241 --> 00:18:40,903
Bronwyn tweeted that she has a meeting
438
00:18:40,928 --> 00:18:43,594
at Suffolk House this morning,
and I know it's with Zane.
439
00:18:43,619 --> 00:18:45,559
- I'm running to intercept, okay?
- Wait.
440
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:48,085
I'm going underground.
Just meet me there.
441
00:18:48,176 --> 00:18:51,200
Kelsey. Kelsey! Shit. Damn it!
442
00:18:51,225 --> 00:18:52,766
Um...
443
00:18:52,791 --> 00:18:54,172
uh, okay, bye!
444
00:19:06,372 --> 00:19:08,419
- Bronwyn.
- What are you doing here?
445
00:19:10,543 --> 00:19:12,582
I know that you're meeting
with other publishing houses.
446
00:19:12,607 --> 00:19:15,145
And I just want you
to make the right choice.
447
00:19:15,449 --> 00:19:17,008
That's not Mercury.
448
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,607
Yeah, I suppose
the right choice is Millennial?
449
00:19:19,632 --> 00:19:21,093
Yes.
450
00:19:21,342 --> 00:19:23,604
We are a company run by women
451
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:27,396
who want important women's
voices to be heard... your voice.
452
00:19:27,421 --> 00:19:29,607
What is Mercury? Who is Mercury?
453
00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:31,933
- Hey, there!
- The cavalry is here.
454
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:33,263
Kelsey, can I talk to you for a minute?
455
00:19:33,288 --> 00:19:34,443
Yes. Sit down.
456
00:19:34,468 --> 00:19:36,883
Honestly, Bronwyn,
not to take away from your work,
457
00:19:36,991 --> 00:19:39,640
but Zane is out to steal
our authors, all right?
458
00:19:39,665 --> 00:19:42,151
He's a former employee
who has a personal vendetta
459
00:19:42,176 --> 00:19:43,357
against our company.
460
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:44,976
She didn't come here to see Zane.
461
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:46,522
I'm pretty sure she did.
462
00:19:46,547 --> 00:19:48,741
No, I don't know Zane
from a wart on my butt.
463
00:19:48,766 --> 00:19:51,600
I came here to see Charles.
464
00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:54,350
What the...
465
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:55,600
Oh, God.
466
00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,670
You're the money behind Mercury?
467
00:19:57,695 --> 00:20:00,236
- Kelsey, if you just give me...
- Did you know about this?
468
00:20:00,261 --> 00:20:02,242
I just found out.
I was coming to tell you.
469
00:20:02,449 --> 00:20:04,483
You're the Chairman of the Board.
470
00:20:04,508 --> 00:20:06,171
You're working
against your own company?
471
00:20:06,196 --> 00:20:10,163
- You're working against me?
- Wow, this is interesting.
472
00:20:10,828 --> 00:20:12,529
Could we talk outside?
473
00:20:12,582 --> 00:20:14,210
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- No.
474
00:20:14,235 --> 00:20:15,507
No, you know what?
475
00:20:15,532 --> 00:20:18,100
Bronwyn should know who she's
getting into business with.
476
00:20:18,125 --> 00:20:20,786
A man who is by your side one minute
477
00:20:20,811 --> 00:20:23,631
and then the next trying
to steal your authors.
478
00:20:23,997 --> 00:20:28,131
My hair is falling out because
of you and because of you.
479
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,562
I hope you know who you're
getting into business with
480
00:20:30,587 --> 00:20:33,381
because I sure as hell didn't.
481
00:20:34,288 --> 00:20:36,656
- Liza, wait.
- Is this you figuring it out?
482
00:20:36,681 --> 00:20:38,881
Bronwyn reached out to me.
483
00:20:41,053 --> 00:20:43,131
He called your books "matron lit."
484
00:21:01,314 --> 00:21:03,390
Hi, Gemma!
485
00:21:03,704 --> 00:21:05,685
Are you sure it's a good idea
to have her in the studio?
486
00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:07,171
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
487
00:21:07,196 --> 00:21:09,677
The buzzing needles actually
put her right to sleep.
488
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,826
It's been amazing.
489
00:21:11,851 --> 00:21:15,432
I have learned so much
in the last two days.
490
00:21:15,469 --> 00:21:18,291
Like, she loves walks...
491
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,523
loves being read to.
492
00:21:22,616 --> 00:21:25,217
- "The Hung Juror"?
- Yeah.
493
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,905
Is this what you've been reading her?
494
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:30,374
Okay, look, Kelsey brought
home a bunch of senior erotica.
495
00:21:30,399 --> 00:21:33,023
Here, listen to this.
496
00:21:34,446 --> 00:21:38,952
"Frank held Cathy as she waved
good-bye to her grandkids.
497
00:21:38,991 --> 00:21:42,163
His tumescence growing."
498
00:21:42,188 --> 00:21:43,358
Look at her eyes.
499
00:21:43,383 --> 00:21:45,412
Are you kidding me with this?
500
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,098
She loves it!
501
00:21:47,358 --> 00:21:49,013
Well, thanks for looking after her.
502
00:21:49,038 --> 00:21:51,254
Yeah. I mean...
503
00:21:52,161 --> 00:21:55,742
I'm her dad, you know,
not her babysitter.
504
00:21:55,975 --> 00:21:57,655
I know.
505
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,690
Hey, um...
506
00:22:03,085 --> 00:22:05,146
Look, so...
507
00:22:07,244 --> 00:22:09,952
I know we're getting a divorce, and...
508
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:13,441
we're going to deal
with custody stuff, but...
509
00:22:15,238 --> 00:22:18,499
I really want
to be in her life full-time.
510
00:22:19,974 --> 00:22:23,366
Or at least equally split time.
511
00:22:25,237 --> 00:22:27,098
And, uh...
512
00:22:27,182 --> 00:22:30,243
I want sleepovers on a regular basis.
513
00:22:31,899 --> 00:22:33,160
Let's just figure out
514
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,406
this whole
parenting thing together, okay?
515
00:22:35,750 --> 00:22:38,651
That'd be great, actually.
516
00:22:38,961 --> 00:22:40,542
Just...
517
00:22:40,690 --> 00:22:42,991
don't bring her down
to the studio anymore.
518
00:22:43,091 --> 00:22:45,716
Deal.
519
00:22:52,491 --> 00:22:56,288
My hair is falling out
because of you and you!
520
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:57,744
Everyone is going to see this video.
521
00:22:57,769 --> 00:22:59,538
It's just Publisher's Lunch.
522
00:22:59,563 --> 00:23:01,390
It's also trending on Reddit.
523
00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:02,970
You know what?
524
00:23:02,995 --> 00:23:05,358
Charles is the one
that looks bad, not me.
525
00:23:05,383 --> 00:23:07,921
He's completely in the wrong here.
526
00:23:08,995 --> 00:23:10,536
Say something.
527
00:23:10,573 --> 00:23:12,602
Bronwyn, who apparently
does think we're peers,
528
00:23:12,627 --> 00:23:14,328
is staying put.
529
00:23:14,444 --> 00:23:15,905
- Really?
- Yeah!
530
00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:17,022
She said anyone who fights
531
00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:18,505
for her like you did,
she's sticking with.
532
00:23:18,530 --> 00:23:20,729
Okay. Now, that is some good news.
533
00:23:23,259 --> 00:23:25,000
- So...
- Why are you two looking
534
00:23:25,025 --> 00:23:26,756
at me like my eyebrows fell off?
535
00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:28,161
Oh, my God, did they?
536
00:23:28,186 --> 00:23:29,846
No, gosh, of course not.
537
00:23:29,890 --> 00:23:31,903
I got calls from three agents
538
00:23:31,928 --> 00:23:33,499
and emails from another handful.
539
00:23:33,524 --> 00:23:35,702
They're all making noise
about moving their clients
540
00:23:35,746 --> 00:23:37,702
from Millennial...
541
00:23:38,206 --> 00:23:39,867
to Mercury.
542
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,990
They don't care
that Charles is in the wrong.
543
00:23:42,015 --> 00:23:43,928
They want the gray hair in the room.
544
00:23:43,953 --> 00:23:47,735
No. I'm calling an emergency
board meeting. He can't do that!
545
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,608
Charles resigned from the board
546
00:23:49,633 --> 00:23:51,436
about an hour ago.
547
00:23:51,759 --> 00:23:53,570
He did?
548
00:23:54,819 --> 00:23:56,807
What does that mean?
549
00:23:57,335 --> 00:23:59,756
That he's officially
our competition now.
550
00:24:08,216 --> 00:24:13,585
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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