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foreign
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[Music]
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mental illness it's a chemical imbalance
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that can make you see things that aren't
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there hear things that aren't there make
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you extremely happy or horribly
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depressed it's the same symptoms as
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being in love love
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is mental illness because love will
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actually make you check into a mental
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hospital for three months to protect
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your family your best friend and your
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girlfriend from being prosecuted and I'm
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not mad about that you know and just
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because those three months turned into
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eight years I'm I'm not mad but today I
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get out yeah and it's been eight years
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and and they're they're late to pick me
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up and I am not mad oh
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he's my therapist Dr bunny buddy
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snuggles mcfluffer PhD
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I'm not mad
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he says I'm making progress
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all right we got one week until Titus
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gets out of the mental hospital now
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that's not right the home too elderly
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brain Rehabilitation facility hey do you
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think Titus will still know how to speak
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English or will he be all like
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he was in a mental hospital not running
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a taco truck oh God that sounds racist
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Hispanic dining motorhome plus you know
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they put him on medication I just hope
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that he's not all like a zombie well if
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he is I will Detox him
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I'll Stratton down to a bed and even if
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he hallucinates and screams I'll get
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that mock your office back if he dies
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well he dies
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Dave
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I know I asked you to do that so that I
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I could feel him but it never works you
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got to come up with your own thing oh um
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ow it's better where's papa Titus all
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right he went down South for business
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hey yeah Titus gets back we let him know
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he don't run stuff
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yes right because we killed it while he
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was gone in fact we did better than he
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did when he was here yeah
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noticed Aaron is stoked about Titus
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coming back next Saturday
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she's like way way happier well she's
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not happy because of Titus I wonder if
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Titus didn't even recognize her like
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those like those chimps they sent into
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outer space
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what yeah when they came back from
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orbiting the Earth they don't even
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recognize their own families I think
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it's because when you're a big fancy
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astronaut you don't want to hang out
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with people who throw their own poop yet
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I have to
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Titus you escaped why didn't you pick me
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ow that was perfect
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God I missed that
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hang on you busted out without us oh
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that's great I go out and get a brand
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new balaclava but nobody cares
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Titus family rule three four two if
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you're in a locked facility and you
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write a letter to your family don't put
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any amusing thoughts or hope 's about
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breaking
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a family main or the meaning of the word
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love but not know the meaning of the
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word felony
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okay what the hell are you doing here
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we're busting you out what prepare to
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fly Little Birds
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pet
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on the queen six Checkmate damn it
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[Music]
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so is it true what they say about the
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crazy chicks
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[Applause]
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that was right before my mental
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evaluation and because of it two years
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was added to my recovery because Tommy
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and Dave are raging morons oh sorry
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facts don't need quotes
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sorry okay
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when do I get out
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next Saturday hmm yet I'm here it is a
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quandary ah wow
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no no I mean what the hell guys I'm
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getting out of a mental hospital and
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then you guys don't pick me up and make
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me wait for hours well time is an
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imaginary construct created by man to
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enslave us
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oh wait is it these summer solstice uh I
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don't know we're not Druids
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time is an imaginary construct
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all right here it is Dad's iPad that I
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am banned from using did you do a racist
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porn Again by accident all right uh
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summer solstice so much here it is this
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year the summer solstice is
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oh
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I'm on the wrong paleo Pagan calendar oh
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well that explains absolutely nothing
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this is a wicked calendar it's a week
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off the neonors it's a simple mistake
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yeah when they were building Stonehenge
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but where the hell is Dad well you don't
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smell lingering cigarette smoke and
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barley and hops burped through a pizza
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it is faint
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I've even gone like a week oh you're
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good damn it guys I need him here hey
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call him yeah on on the tablet yeah they
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got this uh new thing it's called face
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to face you can actually see and talk to
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someone without any fear of their
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halitosis what oh there he is hey Dad
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I'm out your little boy is home what
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the morons that it was next week when
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the weekends quiet homeschool hello Mr
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Titus you two peaches Dave yeah are you
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using my iPads well you're not here so
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what you gonna do old man nothing unless
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this stun gun security app works
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let's touch my stuff
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are you
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Mexican whorehouse ah yes damn it what
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sucker bet I bet that he was out buying
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you a welcome home mylar balloon bouquet
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I Can Dream It's what my mom bought me
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when I came home from the sunrise boys
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camp boys camp
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is that the first time you wrote another
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man's kayak
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it's time to stop dad leave him alone
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he's my best friend and I need you here
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I have a big announcement well had
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numbnuts done messed up the date I would
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have been there I was trying to get bad
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Ken out of my system before you got home
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there's a good Ken
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yes good Ken makes tacos bad Ken uh is
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like that weird uncle that shows up once
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a year because sometimes he punches
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grandma on Thanksgiving well you can say
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about my dad though at least he's
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self-aware and he's always honest unless
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you married him and then hey you married
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him
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honestly him being in a Mexican
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whorehouse is just easier on everybody
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except for Dad's urologist
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[Music]
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okay doc I was in Juarez and I got a
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dose of Habaneros taquitos
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I'm doing something very strong to turn
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this Hammer back into a churro because I
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got a date with a little honey on
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Thursday andale
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so
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now that you're out I I want to say
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something without getting too serious
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Christopher you have always
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there's always
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I never
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the thing
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look
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Dad can't speak English anymore dad
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speak in Spanish and I will translate
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you learn Spanish
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but I sign Spanish
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like the wind
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oh I want to see this knock it off
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Dad Dad listen don't don't say anything
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because every time you do it's you know
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insensitive and racist you know better
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yet just allow me to uh imagine you
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saying something that wouldn't you know
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start a nationwide protest
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just saying all the insults to tomorrow
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pop yeah you are a soul killer Mr Titus
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let me talk I can be nice you don't
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think I can be nice
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can't be nice I can be nice
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Dave
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he's speaking English
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okay look
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this is tough for me to sing
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like odor rhino laryngologist
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there are no signs for either of this
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one dad Dad look we know that you're not
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good with emotions you know oh except
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for Fury
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yeah
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biblical my dad was born without a
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filter you know that little flap in your
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brain that stops you from saying mean
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and brutal things to your loved ones so
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they don't suck on a shotgun
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because of that Dave and I are immune to
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the challenges and Nightmares of the
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chaotic life we've had that's what my
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therapist said well actually he said
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your dad's a psycho but uh
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I knew what he meant oh so then Dad
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married stepmom number six oh and then
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Mom number one shot that guy in the
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church oh it was actually working
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it's okay hey it's okay
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they don't work out and look
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beautiful shackles making my ankles look
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faster
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can we get a therapist for the therapist
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when you're in therapy never be honest
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because they will use that Honesty
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against you and keep you in the mental
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hospital longer oh and always say I
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don't think I'm a danger to myself and
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others I gotta tell you faking honesty
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or lying in therapy got me enough happy
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face stickers for a coloring book
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yeah you rock Fury dad you could win a
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Tony for Fury Mr Titus that's the
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highest award David still on Broadway
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foreign
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jazz hands
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son I just want to say
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that you taking the rap for us and being
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locked up for so long was pretty
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humbling
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you're a better man than I am
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yeah
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don't zap us well at least I said it
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hello senorita wow
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Easter is good or vicious
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anyway I can't be that bad
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I hope you survived your mother used to
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ride being brain dead and I taught you
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about women
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I have roughly a 780 lifetime average on
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scoring the Poogie what's your STD
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batting average dad I call that forced
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errors about 24 percent
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wow you know I would get it every minute
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being in their dad but to get out and
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hear you compliment yourself and refer
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to women as pootie wow
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totally worth eight years of my life
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I don't want to touch Hey Dad I love you
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okay
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uh no mesoplendos Poppy
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hey uh Titus um I need to talk to you
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about something
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um you know we've been friends for like
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forever and so I really need you to
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listen
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the place is really different
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like it's pretty crazy how did you keep
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it open oh you just kept telling me
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don't worry about it
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I don't sound like that
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I went into the wacko basket to save my
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family from prosecution turning my
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business over to Dave and dad was my
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nightmare
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imagine taking your dream and handing it
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to the most
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irresponsible human you know and the guy
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that trained him
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they've been learned never put a fire
281
00:13:00,959 --> 00:13:05,720
pit next to a grease
282
00:13:03,899 --> 00:13:10,399
thank God the church
283
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:10,399
I use the insurance to buy the fire pits
284
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:19,860
a little hospital I slept
285
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,540
and I would have nightmares about Dave
286
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:24,540
ruining my business
287
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:26,940
waking up screaming in a mental facility
288
00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:29,399
is never considered progress
289
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:31,800
well you know what Tommy
290
00:13:29,399 --> 00:13:33,420
you changed the place a lot but at least
291
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,700
it's still here I gotta be honest with
292
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:38,160
you man you did a great job well
293
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:40,680
honestly Dave worked hard he actually
294
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:44,100
had a couple of weird but brilliant
295
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:48,540
ideas well I'm not a total idiot I'm not
296
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:53,519
taking this too easy I built a robot dad
297
00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:56,040
what the [ย __ย ] knock it off oh my God
298
00:13:53,519 --> 00:13:57,839
so all right so where are all my cards
299
00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:01,019
we sold them we had to to keep the shop
300
00:13:57,839 --> 00:14:03,420
open all of them not the dune buggy yeah
301
00:14:01,019 --> 00:14:05,160
but they're okay but you you are a
302
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:07,680
master at building cars you're gonna be
303
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,899
fine Titus even if you end up all alone
304
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,779
wow stop kissing my ass and why do you
305
00:14:09,899 --> 00:14:15,420
sound so guilty
306
00:14:11,779 --> 00:14:17,040
why do I have to be guilty about hey hey
307
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:20,100
that's between you and the guy in the
308
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:22,440
next stall you know what Tommy don't get
309
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:24,600
mad therapy taught me that it's just dad
310
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:27,300
being dead what kind of the therapy they
311
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,680
do on you lobotomy waterboarding lecture
312
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,440
shock
313
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:33,660
[Music]
314
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:35,399
yet I know but you attached metal to you
315
00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:37,620
so you've turned yourself into a human
316
00:14:35,399 --> 00:14:39,540
lightning rod damn you science
317
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:40,560
no they didn't do anything to me guys it
318
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:43,320
just gave me a little bit of medication
319
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:45,420
and all it does is make me see things a
320
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:48,959
little less annoying
321
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:50,760
and oh my God does it work so how did
322
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:51,899
you keep the shop open well all right at
323
00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:55,920
first we turned the whole place into
324
00:14:51,899 --> 00:14:58,320
laser tag and that went uh well yeah and
325
00:14:55,920 --> 00:15:03,330
then we upgraded
326
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:05,060
to High Velocity Paintball oh no oh no
327
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:09,000
[Music]
328
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:11,220
I'm Dave from Dave Blazer hey everybody
329
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,800
knows you you gotta have lasers to have
330
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:17,279
a killer party so come on down it's
331
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:20,519
James laser tag and Tommy we now have
332
00:15:17,279 --> 00:15:23,459
High Velocity Paintball guns in goggles
333
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:26,220
not required what we're so much fun
334
00:15:23,459 --> 00:15:30,000
we're not even licensing we're in
335
00:15:26,220 --> 00:15:31,139
litigation Dave's laser tag and Tommy oh
336
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,320
no
337
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:37,019
what the insurance paid off and the kid
338
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:39,660
got 80 percent of the side back I'm 80
339
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:42,060
dude that's like a B plus and report
340
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:45,240
card wait wait wait wait whoa are you
341
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:47,940
telling me that a kid lost his eye we
342
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:50,100
found it back that iced it reinstalled
343
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:52,440
oh and then after that uh we opened a
344
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:56,040
massage parlor slash oil change place
345
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:58,139
called it Dave's lube and rub oh I don't
346
00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,660
even want to know no good because the
347
00:15:58,139 --> 00:16:03,660
judge said we can't talk about it dodged
348
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:07,680
a bullet on that one I miss Mingo she
349
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:09,839
was my Asian Mulan dad Mulan is Asian
350
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:12,300
that's what I said [ย __ย ]
351
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:13,940
that girl really knew how to change a
352
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:17,100
filter
353
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:20,220
oh God no no no
354
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:23,100
and then we got into weed medical
355
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:25,139
cannabis to be exact we put in uh grow
356
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:27,360
lights and hydroponic Timing System
357
00:16:25,139 --> 00:16:29,699
which is creating the perfect climate
358
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:31,800
and then the advances we made in CBD
359
00:16:29,699 --> 00:16:33,959
combinations and the healing properties
360
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,940
of cannabinoids really show that you
361
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:38,100
know maybe we don't need to invest in a
362
00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:40,259
culture of synthetic drugs but instead
363
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:42,540
can heal with a natural non-addictive
364
00:16:40,259 --> 00:16:46,040
solution that is healthy and antiviral
365
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:46,040
at a cellular level
366
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,100
oh
367
00:16:51,019 --> 00:16:56,279
you found your thing
368
00:16:54,720 --> 00:17:00,240
Dave
369
00:16:56,279 --> 00:17:03,300
you you're the pot Whisperer right Dave
370
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:06,059
was amazing his insight for marijuana is
371
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:07,980
stunning I just managed this genius and
372
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:11,400
we made a ton of money
373
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:13,740
tell him the rest oh no no no so since I
374
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:15,480
was a 50 50 investor and once we
375
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:18,000
realized the stuff that Dave was growing
376
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,679
was otherworldly I just I just shopped
377
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,419
around and found the best medical labs
378
00:17:19,679 --> 00:17:23,760
and the best research companies and then
379
00:17:21,419 --> 00:17:26,160
we just made a great deal didn't sold
380
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:29,400
out we all made a ton of money
381
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,179
I wish Tommy was my son yeah well he
382
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,040
doesn't
383
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:33,360
thanks Dad for holding up the insults
384
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,120
till tomorrow like I already feel like
385
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:38,460
I'm at home
386
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:41,039
this is amazing you you started your own
387
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:42,360
business and sold it for a profit I sold
388
00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:44,580
the business
389
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:46,919
Titus things have changed around here
390
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:48,780
but but that's awesome for both of you
391
00:17:46,919 --> 00:17:52,500
guys and you made all that money
392
00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:54,600
did you buy my cars back hell no no we
393
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:58,799
invested we bought stock we rode the
394
00:17:54,600 --> 00:18:02,880
paper tiger wow you guys do know that I
395
00:17:58,799 --> 00:18:05,340
went in a mental hospital for you right
396
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:07,620
I get my profit and product
397
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:09,780
this is the town of the rest part got it
398
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:12,240
you know that Bible verse
399
00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:13,980
don't get high in your own Supply if
400
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,020
that's not
401
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:19,799
yes I'm aware of the verse
402
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:22,820
well I did it and Satan Satan had me in
403
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,820
his watery tentacles
404
00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:26,220
I quit
405
00:18:24,539 --> 00:18:29,460
because he ran out of weed you could
406
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:32,039
always grow more no we're starting to
407
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:35,100
take your non-compete claws Dave a
408
00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:37,679
non-compete Clause means that Dave can't
409
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:39,840
get high for 10 years you can't smoke
410
00:18:37,679 --> 00:18:42,059
pot for 10 years that's what non-compete
411
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:44,760
means and see I I I just can't take it
412
00:18:42,059 --> 00:18:46,500
so Dad said he's gonna
413
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,360
show me another way
414
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:50,780
your brother is following me through
415
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,780
Nirvana
416
00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:57,900
really bear Nirvana dad so Dave can
417
00:18:55,080 --> 00:19:01,740
follow the sudsy rainbow to divorce and
418
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:03,600
heart attacks work so far cheers one of
419
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:07,320
your parents has mental illness there's
420
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:09,000
a 15 to 25 chance you will too if one of
421
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:12,120
your parents is an alcoholic there's a
422
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:15,480
50 chance you're gonna be one too
423
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:18,120
I have both in fact the only reason I'm
424
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,799
not a drunk psycho or a drug addict is
425
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:25,160
because of one person
426
00:19:19,799 --> 00:19:25,160
she loves me and she kept me sane
427
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:31,620
while I was in a mental institution well
428
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:33,539
I can't get a real job because I've been
429
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:35,820
in a mental institution for eight years
430
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:38,760
because of you guys so what I've decided
431
00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:41,640
to do is start building cars again and
432
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,679
big announcements I've decided to
433
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:45,360
propose to Aaron
434
00:19:43,679 --> 00:19:47,520
no
435
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:51,120
um way
436
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:54,419
relax Pride Parade let it see his girl
437
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:59,299
you can feed him grapes later just shut
438
00:19:54,419 --> 00:20:02,700
up old man shut up oh just
439
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:04,740
Tommy look it's time I mean I've been
440
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:06,900
going out with Aaron for years eight of
441
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:08,340
those years were in a crazy house oh but
442
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:10,260
who's counting years even though for the
443
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,299
last eight you were locked up eating
444
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:15,120
pudding
445
00:20:11,299 --> 00:20:17,820
how much put it good for you son I'm
446
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:19,620
glad it's just pudding Dad I've been
447
00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:21,960
telling you to get a life and you did it
448
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:24,720
a woman you love a job you're good at
449
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:26,340
good for you it's what a real man does
450
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,860
thank you
451
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:31,799
then when things get saggy divorce him
452
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:35,520
and do it again hey hey
453
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:39,179
I brought you your favorite lunch
454
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,179
Dave Christopher
455
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:44,840
you weren't supposed to be here until
456
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:49,140
next week I know
457
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:52,220
Pagan calendar actually it's uh it's
458
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:52,220
wicked fired
459
00:20:53,059 --> 00:20:57,740
things got right back to abnormal
460
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:02,480
hello Christopher
461
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:07,660
hey
462
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:10,440
yeah
463
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:14,280
[Music]
464
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:16,380
oh I'm so happy to see you babe I gotta
465
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:19,820
tell you something I've been thinking
466
00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:19,820
about this for a long time
467
00:21:22,140 --> 00:21:27,120
Aaron
468
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:30,500
will you Christopher we really need to
469
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:30,500
talk what the hell
470
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,260
nice
471
00:21:31,919 --> 00:21:37,260
I especially like the glitter is that
472
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:40,200
bow tie pasta yeah I made it noodle
473
00:21:37,260 --> 00:21:41,820
therapy I got three smiley face stickers
474
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,980
for that
475
00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:45,480
but I'm home now and I'm going to get
476
00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:47,400
back to work I'm going to start building
477
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:50,820
some Wicked rides make some money using
478
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:53,220
my skill and and look while my tools are
479
00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:56,220
here and come here and my best buddy
480
00:21:53,220 --> 00:21:59,319
Tommy I just wow well I'll need a raise
481
00:21:56,220 --> 00:21:59,319
[Music]
482
00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:03,740
and you're ruining it Dad
483
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,500
were you married I'm in love with Tommy
484
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:54,469
thank you
485
00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:54,469
[Music]
486
00:22:55,559 --> 00:22:58,559
foreign
487
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:20,240
[Music]
34266
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