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1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,360
[intro music]
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:11,520
[Frank] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:16,560
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives they were given
4
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,040
by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,360
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:28,840
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
7
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,880
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
8
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:36,240
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented.
9
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:40,920
To calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
10
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,200
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
11
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:49,360
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
12
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,840
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
13
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,720
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
14
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,400
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
15
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,600
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
16
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,760
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
17
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[laughing] [cough]
18
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Scatter!
19
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,800
Party!
20
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,640
Is this the gaff?
I thought you said she'd moved.
21
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She did.
22
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,000
-[car alarm beeping]
-[indistinct yelling]
23
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,200
-[doorbell buzzes]
-[Paddy] Fuck!
24
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-[Paddy] Fuck! [yells] Fuck!
-[Maureen laughs]
25
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,440
[Maureen] I think it's time now, Patrick.
26
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,760
-[girl screams]
-[singing over TV]
27
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,880
[Maureen] My daughter, Patrick.
28
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,080
Rachel. Of course,
she looked different towards the end,
29
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once the heroin had got hold of her.
30
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You gave it to me.
31
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[Paddy grumbles] No.
32
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,800
-[car alarm beeping]
-[gasps]
33
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,480
[Paddy] My Mammy would tell us
terrifying tales of witches and ogres
34
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:15,760
who'd gobble up children.
35
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,040
I'd have nightmares
and scream the place down.
36
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,080
Morning.
37
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,880
Just up?
38
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-[Mimi] I didn't sleep too good.
-[Mandy] Go find your toys.
39
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,240
[Paddy] Before you know it,
you're a parent yourself.
40
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:31,440
The joys are beyond expectation,
but the fear paralyses beyond words.
41
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:32,960
-[Mandy] Not saying hello?
-[Micky grunts]
42
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,680
Turkish wrestling.
43
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,760
Big hairy blokes in leather shorts
covering themselves in oil,
44
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rolling around, trying to get their...
hands down each other's pants.
45
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,840
[Paddy] So, you tell your babies
those same terrifying fairy tales
46
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:51,120
that kept you awake to prepare them
for just how hardcore this world can be.
47
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,400
Because monsters... do... exist.
48
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,240
Jesus Christ!
49
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,240
What are you doing? Jamie's downstairs.
50
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,880
-I just wanna talk.
-Where's Mandy?
51
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,040
Going to her folks,
tell them about the engagement party.
52
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,400
Tomorrow night.
If you and Dad can make it.
53
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,760
I know it's short notice, so...
54
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,040
[Mimi sobbing]
55
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:25,000
We couldn't really move on
from his... [sniffs] affair.
56
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,000
Affair?
57
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,920
[Micky]
Who's taped over me Turkish wrestling?
58
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,000
[Shane] It's a game...
59
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,240
How many affairs have you heard of
where a person kidnaps another
60
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,000
and turns him into a smackhead?
61
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,440
-[Micky] I'll kill ya!
-[Shane cries out]
62
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,480
[Mandy]
This wasn't some great romance, Mum.
63
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:41,000
[Paddy] Then comes the day
when strangers don't scare them anymore,
64
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,640
and that's when your nightmares return.
65
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,160
[Joe] I don't wanna hurt her again.
66
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,800
She's a good person.
67
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,280
She's the kind of girl you love, and
wanna spend the rest of your life with.
68
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,200
Whereas you, however...
69
00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,600
are a dirty slag
who shagged your best mate's fella.
70
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:04,120
Cos that's all you're good for, with
your tight tops, and your short skirts.
71
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,640
-How far gone?
-Fuck off and die!
72
00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:20,160
You don't know whose it is, do ya?
73
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,320
Oh, now, you really belong to me.
74
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,720
[shouting] Jamie!
75
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,480
[Jamie]
I never really thought I wanted to.
76
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,440
But do you now?
77
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:42,680
Want one, I mean?
78
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,560
You can't control these things.
79
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,560
If it comes, it comes.
If it doesn't... well, that's fine, too.
80
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,240
I'll try.
81
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,400
[chuckles] It's not about trying.
82
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,680
It's about nature, and biology.
83
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,280
Come on, Debs,
I gotta go to the post office.
84
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,000
Well, take her with ya.
85
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,760
The post office? Don't be daft!
She hasn't had all her jabs yet.
86
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,320
-Has she?
-[Katie whimpers]
87
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,680
-Liam, school.
-Oh, Fiona--
88
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,320
Exactly.
89
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:19,960
[Maxine] See ya, Frank.
90
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,880
[groans]
You can't leave me in charge of a baby!
91
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,920
Oh, get off!
92
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:29,920
Look.
93
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,760
Don't even waste your breath, Frank.
94
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,120
-Think she shat herself.
-What are you doing?
95
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,440
You can't shirk your responsibility,
Yvonne.
96
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,720
I only agreed to foster Liam and Stella
so you could keep your family together.
97
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,840
Oi, get back here!
I'm not a fucking nanny, Frank!
98
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:46,760
-I've got a shop to run.
-Language, Yvonne.
99
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,080
[Debbie] Oh, I don't believe it!
100
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,080
He can't have had that job
in the funeral parlour
101
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,240
for more than an hour.
102
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,960
[Maxine imitating narrator's voice]
The male of the species
103
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,080
flatters the female with acts
of ever more outlandish buffoonery
104
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,680
in a vain attempt
to get his appendage gobbled by one,
105
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,560
or preferably two handbags.
106
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,640
[heavy rap music playing from car stereo]
107
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,320
But, wait.
108
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,120
A rival gamma male approaches,
109
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,440
boasting a larger appendage
or a smaller plate in his head.
110
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,920
[car horn plays Godfather theme]
111
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-[Debbie chuckles]
-Morning.
112
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,600
Women! What's all that about?
113
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,560
Women have
a different selection process, Carl.
114
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You know, they want transport.
115
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Money.
116
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,280
[woman moans]
117
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,040
You know, they want mobility.
A change of scenery.
118
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,880
You know, they don't all
wanna hang around the Chatsworth
119
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,760
-and go to The Jockey.
-Where you two off?
120
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,280
-Jockey.
-Yoga.
121
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,000
-[crisp bag rustles]
-[crunching crisps]
122
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,960
[crisp bag rustles]
123
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,600
-[crisp bag rustles]
-[crunching crisps]
124
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,400
-[bell rings]
-[vacuum hums]
125
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,000
Fuck's sake, Lillian. Do you have to?
126
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Lice.
127
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,200
-[punter] Hey-hey!
-[wolf whistle]
128
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,120
-Two pints of lager, please.
-[indistinct chattering]
129
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,960
What have I told you about first doors?
130
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,480
No punters until yoga's done.
131
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,000
Stress-free mammies
equal stress-free bubbies.
132
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You, you prick!
133
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,280
Crunching crisps all the way through.
134
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,000
Fucking gnaws me chakra right up!
135
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,800
Fucking Buddhists.
Forever starting shit on the news.
136
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,360
Mark.
137
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,600
How was last night?
138
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,960
A hundred and twenty in tips.
139
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,840
-What, for one night's work?
-Where's this?
140
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,240
Got any jobs going?
141
00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,400
Spit Roast Bar and Grill
behind Selfridges.
142
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,480
VIPs, valet parking.
143
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,440
Got footballers tipping him.
144
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,400
I've got him all to myself today.
So, don't be offended if we slip out--
145
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,920
Ah, babe, I'm feeling a bit shagged,
you know?
146
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,400
-Wouldn't mind rolling a fat one--
-Fucking students.
147
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:14,480
I'm back in at nine.
148
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,960
Anyway, what are you doing
that's so important?
149
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:20,480
Well, getting the money back for this suit
and buying myself a new motor.
150
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,080
Probably score more birds.
151
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,080
Are you even aware you're turning into
some sort of Benny Hill character!
152
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,080
Go on! [laughs] That's me.
153
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,960
-When did you set your sights so low?
-What, cos I like shagging?
154
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,159
Liking shagging ain't something
I've got a problem with.
155
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,840
Finding reasons to maintain a friendship
156
00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:39,280
with someone who acts more and more
like a walking ball-bag increasingly is.
157
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,120
So, you get yourself a car and fuck off.
158
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,160
[Paddy] Mandy!
159
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,720
[both grunt]
160
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,480
Can I give you a lift?
161
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,640
Joe's picking us up in a minute.
Just at the kerb's fine.
162
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:00,560
Moving in, then, eh?
163
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,200
Yeah. Heard you were working for him,
too, now.
164
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,120
That right?
165
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,520
Businesswoman, is it?
166
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,360
[chuckles] Yeah, right.
167
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,960
Just renting out flats to DSS.
168
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,040
Didn't mean to seem weird before.
169
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,640
I think she's missing you pretty badly.
170
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,080
[sighs]
171
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,520
Where on earth did you find this?
172
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,920
[chuckles] Had it years.
173
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:31,840
Was your granny's.
174
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,720
-Kept her stuff in it.
-[chuckles]
175
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:36,800
I like it.
176
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:37,880
Smells of her.
177
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,600
[sniffs]
178
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:49,760
How you doing?
179
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,960
Can't complain. Busy.
180
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,320
Got to get out, crack some heads.
181
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,800
There's a few debts
I've neglected to take care of recently.
182
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,040
Coming tomorrow night?
183
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,000
Having an engagement party.
184
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,680
Your mum coming?
185
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:07,760
[Joe] All right, sweetie?
186
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,000
Nearly there. Just a couple more boxes.
187
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,400
All right, Paddy?
188
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,280
Flippin' heck! Gonna need a new gaff
for all this stuff, eh?
189
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000
Right.
190
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:30,760
Better get on with it.
191
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:35,800
See you tomorrow, then?
192
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:37,360
Tomorrow.
193
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,240
[Paddy] You and me
have some unfinished business, Raymondo!
194
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,120
[groans] Paddy, Paddy! Eh...
195
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,240
Fuck!
196
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,720
-[dramatic music]
-[Raymondo groans]
197
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,360
-You got any naloxone?
-No, I got rid in case the Feds raided--
198
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,000
It's fuckin' legal, you stupid bastard!
199
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,760
[Raymondo]
They can sue you for injecting someone
200
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,760
against their consent or...
201
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,080
[Paddy] You're a fucking idiot!
202
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,000
She's still breathing. Call an ambulance.
203
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,040
I've got no battery.
204
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:28,960
[Raymondo grunts]
205
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:37,560
[Paddy grunts]
206
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,160
[Micky] Balls! [grunts] Me balls!
207
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,000
-[grunts] Me balls!
-[Paddy] Micky!
208
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,240
-[doc] Hey, what's her name?
-I dunno, we found her in the street.
209
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,920
-[doc] Okay, and what's she had? Hmm-mmm.
-Heroin.
210
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,520
Okay, naloxone, two milligrams.
211
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,960
[gasps, coughs]
212
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,440
[doc] Okay, just keep her talking,
and get me IV access.
213
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,240
[nurse] You're okay. It's okay.
214
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,120
[doc] Give me IV access,
keep her monitored,
215
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,560
and give her oxygen, okay?
216
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,280
[panting]
217
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,000
[breathing heavily]
218
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,960
Oh, fuck!
219
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,680
-[baby gurgling]
-[indistinct chatter]
220
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,240
Er, Post Office police, coming through.
'Scuse me.
221
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,000
'Scuse me, Post Office bobby.
222
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,640
You'll be all right.
Eh, just do as I say. All right.
223
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,560
[Jackie] Hiya, Frank.
Can you lend us a smoke?
224
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,040
Jackie?
225
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:13,040
-Fuckin' hell, you pregnant again?
-Next.
226
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,240
Yeah, getting engaged an' all
when I turn 14.
227
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,160
Well, congratulations, kid,
it's just what we need round here.
228
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,640
What's this? Where's the rest?
229
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:26,920
Fuck off! Child Benefit, 18 pounds 10,
times two kids' worth. Check it again.
230
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,440
[baby cries]
231
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,480
Right, if you think
I'm fuckin' about here all day,
232
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:41,760
filling in a new claims form,
think a-fuckin'-gain!
233
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:46,880
Gallagher, Vernon Francis, Child Benefit.
Restart.
234
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:47,960
Now!
235
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,440
Stop!
236
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,280
This is housing benefit.
237
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,240
Housing benefit.
238
00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:00,480
If it's about a Child Benefit claim,
you're in the wrong department.
239
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:15,600
'Scuse me, love. I want to report
a violation of the Human Rights Act.
240
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,400
Hang on, mate--
241
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,480
I thought he...
I thought he was Mick Hucknall.
242
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:25,320
I've got this phobia about him.
You know, it's fuckin' worse than clowns.
243
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,240
It's not gingers per se, you know,
I'm cool with that...
244
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,160
Well, some of my best mates...
Well, not best mates,
245
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:34,800
but, you know,
it's just that curly-haired, ginger ponce.
246
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:39,280
He just gives me the creeps!
It's an involuntary medical condition.
247
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,880
Even the mention of his names
gives me the willies.
248
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,800
[man grunts]
249
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,280
He just crept up on us!
250
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:49,240
I know it's not him. He looks so like him!
It's just something gets me started.
251
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:50,840
[Carl] Have you got a car for sale?
252
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,960
Yeah. Well, what's the address,
cos I'm coming down now?
253
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,200
Anchor Way?
254
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,120
Right, well, I'm on Anchor Way now.
Where the fuck is CK Autos?
255
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,680
All right, Carlos?
256
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,400
[Carl] It's a bit fuckin' different
to the photo, Ches.
257
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,560
-[Chesney] It's an old photo, that.
-It's an old photo...
258
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,880
It's a different fuckin' reg
and everything!
259
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,640
I sell loads of these. Low profile.
260
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,040
You'll never get a pull from the dibble
in one of these.
261
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,360
It's a classic. The ladies love a classic.
262
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,600
[car horns honking]
263
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,600
[Carl] Bit to the left, bit to the left.
264
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:28,640
Yeah.
265
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,080
Bollocks!
266
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,800
Fuckin' score down the drain.
267
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,240
Buy low, sell high.
Basic business, Carlos.
268
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,600
Bag's in the boot.
269
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,560
You scratch it, I sue. Comprende?
270
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,880
I don't need to tell you
to keep your mouth shut about this, do I?
271
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,800
So, what was it? Bad smack?
272
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,680
Is there another kind?
273
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,120
[sighs] No.
274
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,280
I mean...
if there's contaminated drugs out there,
275
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,000
-then people should know, right?
-Yeah.
276
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,440
Too strong for her.
277
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,040
Second time she's been in this month.
278
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,320
I mean, I can see if they've got a bed
for her tonight, but...
279
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,720
Well, what about her family? Her mum?
280
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,000
[door opens]
281
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,640
[coins clink]
282
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,319
[match strikes]
283
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,520
[suspenseful music]
284
00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:20,800
Right, I'm not gonna get any more in.
285
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,280
I'll shift these back to the flat.
286
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,400
Hi, Karen.
287
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,200
-See you, babe!
-See ya!
288
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,640
Fuck, I'm late.
289
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,200
-Gotta get over to Longsight.
-Can't you just sack it off?
290
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,200
I need to talk to ya.
291
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,960
This is the first proper job
I've ever had.
292
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,000
Starting to feel like a normal
member of society.
293
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,520
Sorry I'm late, Sister. [panting]
294
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,400
[panting] Okay.
295
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,960
[bass-heavy music thumps over stereo]
296
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,680
Mate, you'll never guess
what just happened.
297
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:52,920
What?
298
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,560
No, no, I can't tell ya.
299
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:57,880
Sweet fit.
300
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,920
What? I've been training and that.
301
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,240
Whose is that eco disaster outside?
302
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,080
Mine.
303
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:15,200
[Liam] Something like this?
304
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,200
Exactly like this.
305
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,960
The man's a Photoshop genius!
306
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,520
-What are you up to?
-Can't tell ya.
307
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,640
Liam?
308
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,920
[shouting] So it has come to this,
309
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,600
that a decent, hard-working man
of this once great nation
310
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,600
should be deprived
of a parent's basic staple
311
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,040
the Child Benefit!
312
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:50,760
Well, if it comes to the choice
of starving by the roadside or martyrdom.
313
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,240
Give me immortality!
314
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,800
Change... we... need!
315
00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,880
I need change.
316
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,000
I need change!
317
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,120
I need change!
318
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,400
Hey! Get out!
319
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,520
I need change!
320
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,680
I... need... change!
321
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,520
See? What did I tell ya?
It's a recognised medical condition.
322
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,480
What's this about Child Benefits?
323
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,280
One of the few benefits of having 'em,
and now they've stopped it.
324
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,160
Well, what do you expect?
325
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,560
Liam and Stella are officially
wards of court, in foster care.
326
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,160
What, so Lickle Liam s'posed to get a job
in a call centre
327
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,440
-to pay for his Turkey Twizzlers, is he?
-No.
328
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,800
His foster parents
are expected to pay for them.
329
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,160
Out of their allowance.
330
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,880
Foster... care... allowance.
331
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,080
[Lillian]
Have you got any more tinned pate, Stan?
332
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,040
-No, I don't think we sell it.
-[Frank] £221.68 a week for Stella...
333
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:45,280
It's like tripe and rabbit in jelly pate.
You know, for going on toast?
334
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,920
...for Liam. Where's my fuckin' end?
335
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
-Did it have a cat picture on the tin?
-That's it.
336
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,400
You wouldn't even have any kids to foster
if it wasn't for me.
337
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,080
Me fuckin' child benefit's been stopped!
338
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,800
-Was it called Pussy Munch?
-[Lillian] That's it, that's the one.
339
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,440
Bottom shelf, centre,
next to the dog biscuits, Lillian.
340
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,080
-That money is to pay for their upkeep.
-That money's stopped me Child Benefit.
341
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,960
Tough... shit!
I've had her all day anyway.
342
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,280
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
343
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:12,480
The Government themselves
have decided to retire me
344
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,920
from the parenting game.
345
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,760
She's your legal responsibility
now, Yvonne.
346
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,560
You can't go abandoning children, can ya?
347
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,880
Frowned upon in fostering circles, innit?
348
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:23,800
Right.
349
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,680
I'll give Debbie £40 a week.
That'll cover the Child Benefit.
350
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,680
You have Stella nine while six daytimes,
I'll give you £2 an hour.
351
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,920
-Two pound fifty.
-[Yvonne] £2.
352
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,920
-Two forty. 2.30.
-£2.
353
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,440
I tell you what, how does 1.90 sound?
354
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:41,720
-Two twenty.
-1.80.
355
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,840
All right. No, no, no.
356
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,520
-Two pound, fair do.
-1.70
357
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,120
Oh, fuck's sake, deal, deal!
358
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,000
[baby niggles]
359
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,240
See, one man can make a difference.
360
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,000
[Lillian] You've got an e-mail, Yvonne.
361
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,880
"We would be most delighted
362
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,440
to put your two exciting new signings
on tonight's guest list.
363
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,560
"Best wishes for the forthcoming season.
Marco."
364
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,080
[tense music]
365
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,000
-[dramatic music]
-[Maureen screams]
366
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,760
["Wearing My Rolex" by Wiley playing]
367
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,720
♪ That's when I start
Promising the world to ♪
368
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,920
♪ A brand new girl I don't even know yet ♪
369
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,440
♪ Next thing she's wearing my Rolex! ♪
370
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,600
[Carl chuckles]
371
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,840
♪ Usually drink, usually... ♪
372
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,760
-How's this for low profile?
-[camera clicks]
373
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,480
♪ Usually drink, usually dance
Usually bubble ♪
374
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,920
♪ (What would we do)... ♪
375
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,120
Good evening, gentlemen.
376
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,360
♪ ...usually bubble ♪
377
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,080
♪ All I want to do is tell you ♪
378
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,560
♪ I love you ♪
379
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,320
♪ That's when I start
Promising the world to ♪
380
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,200
♪ A brand new girl I don't even know yet ♪
381
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,920
♪ Next thing she's wearing my Rolex ♪
382
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,600
♪ Too much champs,
don't know where my phone is ♪
383
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,640
♪ Here's my number, she already knows it ♪
384
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,360
♪ This chapter's a lot, better close it ♪
385
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,920
♪ Just a look in her eye was no evil ♪
386
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,160
♪ Wiley's a party and she knows it
(What would we do) ♪
387
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,440
♪ Usually drink, usually dance,
Usually bubble ♪
388
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,320
♪ All I want to do
Is tell you I love you ♪
389
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,920
♪ That's when I start
Promising the world to ♪
390
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,080
♪ A brand new girl
I don't even know yet... ♪
391
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,800
What the fuck are you doing here?
392
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,480
Same as any other self-respecting young,
free, single millionaire footballer.
393
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,680
Here to claim a free bottle of champers.
394
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,160
So, what other celebrities
you got in here tonight?
395
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,400
You're not a celeb.
396
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,480
But the guest list
will beg to differ, Mark.
397
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,520
Except that fucking idiot's
told 'em I'm Danish.
398
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,200
Watch out -there's girls in here hooked
to the tabloids,
399
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:51,280
looking for dumb young footballers
to fill full of coke, fuck senseless,
400
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,800
and expose to the papers.
401
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,200
Right, well, if any of 'em come asking,
I'll be over here.
402
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,920
♪ This chapter's a lot, better close it ♪
403
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,800
♪ Just a look in her eye was so evil ♪
404
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,880
♪ Wiley's a party guy and she knows it ♪
405
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,120
♪ (What would we do)
Usually drink, usually bubble... ♪
406
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:11,480
[Maureen] If you're waiting for me...
to beg for my life...
407
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,560
I swear to you I won't.
408
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,760
[tense anticipatory music]
409
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:24,000
[whimpering]
410
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:40,800
[whimpers]
411
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,400
[tense anticipatory music continues]
412
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,400
-[sniffs]
-[Paddy] I need...
413
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,680
I'm here to tell you I'm sorry.
414
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,000
[whispers] I'm so sorry.
415
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,240
[tense anticipatory music intensifies]
416
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,600
-[upbeat music playing]
-[laughter]
417
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,760
Ladies and gentlemen, can I just have your
attention for a moment?
418
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,920
We have a very
special guest with us here tonight.
419
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,520
All away from the Ukraine,
pop sensation Duma Paluma!
420
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,840
[cheering]
421
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,120
[with accent] There he is.
422
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,520
As I am sure you all know,
423
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:53,520
this is Danish international footballer,
Carlos Larsson.
424
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,360
[cheering]
425
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,800
He is very surprised for me to be here,
426
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,000
as we have been together
for four years tonight!
427
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,280
[cheering]
428
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,680
You know, when I first saw him,
429
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,120
he was playing in the final
against Aberjaizan.
430
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:22,240
In the very last minutes, he took the ball
from his own goalposts,
431
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,520
down the wing, shaking off defenders,
and scored the winning goal!
432
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,120
[cheering]
433
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,480
The crowd picked you up,
and carried you on their shoulders,
434
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,200
chanting, "Carlos! Carlos!"
435
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,040
And then, you started to cry...
436
00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:41,280
[laughter]
437
00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:43,760
like a little girl.
438
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,160
And then... you pissed your pants.
439
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,680
[uproarious laughter]
440
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:57,880
And you were standing
in front of all of those people,
441
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,240
sobbing like a little girl,
with pissed pants.
442
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:07,880
I said then, "That is passionate man.
443
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:14,200
One day, I would dance with that man."
444
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,280
[emotive music]
445
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,880
-Happy birthday to you!
-[cheering]
446
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:27,520
♪ Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you ♪
447
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:34,360
♪ Happy birthday, Carlos Larsson
Happy birthday to you! ♪
448
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:39,880
-[cheering]
-["I Can Be" by Taio Cruz playing]
449
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,600
♪ It's time to be ♪
450
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,920
♪ Bigger, bigger, stronger stronger ♪
451
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:47,960
Nazdorovje!
452
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:51,160
♪ Harder
It's time to be ♪
453
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,800
Fuck me! Why are you doing this?
454
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,560
Er, famous footballer, Carlos Larsson!
455
00:27:55,640 --> 00:28:00,480
Happy birthday, Manchester football boy!
[chuckles] [kiss]
456
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I get you any more drinks?
457
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:05,880
-[with accent] Vodka!
-[male voice] Vodka]
458
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,240
♪ Has had its many tolls ♪
459
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,880
Where are you from in Denmark?
460
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:16,160
[in Danish accent] Uh, it's a little town,
uh, just outside of, uh, Stockholm.
461
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,840
-You probably won't know it.
-I thought Stockholm was in Sweden.
462
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:30,560
Well, yes, it is, um,
a few miles from Sweden.
463
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,200
-Near IKEA?
-[Carl] Yes.
464
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,960
-And, uh, you're from Ukraine?
-Oh, you know it?
465
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,480
-No.
-Then why the fuck you asking?
466
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,800
♪ Bigger, bigger, stronger stronger ♪
467
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,000
-[muffled music]
-[indistinct chatter]
468
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,000
[zipper]
469
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,080
[sighs happily]
470
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,920
["You Got Me Burning Up!"
by Cevin Fisher playing]
471
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,240
-[chuckles]
-[camera clicks]
472
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,600
[with accent]
You don't have much of an accent.
473
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:20,200
[in Irish accent] Well, no,
I've travelled around a lot, you know.
474
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,200
Those girls, they are friends of yours?
475
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,760
What, them? No, I've only just met 'em.
Don't even know their names.
476
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:32,440
Good. They remind me of wampires.
477
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:37,520
Or, is it, is it vee or wee in English?
Vampires!
478
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,080
[in normal voice] No, it's wampires.
You're right.
479
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,880
["You Got Me Burning Up!" continues]
480
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,000
[camera clicks]
481
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,200
-[laughs] I... They're both mental.
-[Maureen chuckles]
482
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,000
As for Mandy, well,
she's got herself a decent job,
483
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,720
renting properties with her...
new fiancé.
484
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,440
They've got an engagement party
tomorrow night at The Jockey.
485
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,000
-It's the pub that--
-[electric buzzing]
486
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,440
Jamie, my eldest, runs.
487
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:38,280
Nice.
488
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,160
[Maureen sighs]
489
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,000
I've thought about you a lot.
490
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,520
They call that Stockholm syndrome.
491
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,360
And about Rachel.
492
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,320
[Maureen] She was a good girl.
493
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:14,480
Beautiful.
494
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,240
She didn't hang out with the wrong sort.
495
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:27,240
Ballet lessons, gymnastics, horse riding.
Better schools.
496
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,760
Extra tutoring. And never a minute spare.
497
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,520
Was all thrown away...
498
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,880
to die on the floor of a squat.
499
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,000
A squat!
500
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,280
Kids.
501
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,760
Give them the opportunities you never had.
502
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,600
[sighing] Everything I never had.
503
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,080
Not like me.
I was pregnant and on my own at 19.
504
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,120
-Yeah?
-Mmm-hmm.
505
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,680
Where is Mr Maureen?
506
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,480
Oh. [scoffs] He's long gone.
507
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,400
Yeah. [sighs]
508
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,000
You try keeping a man in your life
with all that going on.
509
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,640
They don't stay long, none of them.
510
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,000
We didn't really see eye to eye
511
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:36,320
when it came to keeping drug dealers
tied up in the spare bedroom.
512
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:42,640
[chuckles]
513
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,800
[both laughing]
514
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,560
Oh, sorry. [chuckles]
515
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,560
[panting]
516
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,120
He wasn't, um...
517
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,800
he wasn't Rachel's dad or anything.
518
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,520
Didn't really know her.
519
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,000
Sooner or later...
520
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,120
everybody runs away from me.
521
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,400
Did Rachel run away?
522
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,320
[Maureen] Yeah.
523
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,880
Why do you think she did that?
524
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,480
I don't know. [laughs sadly]
525
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,080
Must've hurt.
526
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,080
You pick up the pieces.
527
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,000
You ever see her again?
528
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,840
Um... Um, there was this,
the one time she came,
529
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,840
she came and called at the house. Yeah.
530
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:19,760
But...
531
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,159
You didn't see her?
532
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:30,760
Eh, no, not quite.
I did, um, yeah, I opened the door,
533
00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:33,520
but, uh...
534
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,520
[emotive music]
535
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,480
Did you shut that door on her, Maureen?
536
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,360
-What?
-Did she come to you for help?
537
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,440
She needed to learn
that there were boundaries,
538
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,400
and she couldn't just come swanning
back into my life with all that chaos.
539
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:04,640
I'd moved on!
540
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,240
I needed to show her I was serious!
541
00:35:15,720 --> 00:35:18,000
[sobbing] I didn't think that she'd...
542
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,520
All this time,
you've been looking for someone to blame.
543
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,000
If I knew who was responsible
for the death of my child,
544
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,080
I'd personally deliver them
to the gates of hell.
545
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,480
[tense anticipatory music]
546
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,160
-[dance music playing]
-Tune!
547
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:19,560
[Frank laughs drunkenly]
Fucking bloke from the tabloid...
548
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:26,560
[chuckles] says,
"Cheers for the fuckin' video, mate,
549
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,560
but... there doesn't appear to be
550
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:34,360
any players from United called Chesney!"
551
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,560
[laughter]
552
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:41,360
"But... feel free to send
any other videos you may have
553
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:46,720
of you sucking off... you know what is!"
554
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,520
[laughter]
555
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,120
D'you fancy going upstairs, then?
556
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,240
What's up with you?
557
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:05,960
You.
558
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,960
But, why are you being all moody
now we got home?
559
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,080
I thought we had a buzz.
560
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,720
It was a laugh being different people.
561
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,800
But now you default to being the same
reject from a Carry On film.
562
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,760
[Debbie] D'you want to hear a theory?
563
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,440
Carl not as thick as he looks.
564
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:30,800
Hmm! Hmm.
565
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,400
It's a wild theory.
566
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,600
And if it's true,
the universe might just implode.
567
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,200
[Debbie] What if it's all a ploy
to make you jealous?
568
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:40,280
How?
569
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,360
Look, I might have been interested once,
but now--
570
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,280
[Debbie] Cos it did provoke
a pretty extreme reaction.
571
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,720
He might not have anticipated
you turning up at the club.
572
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,200
But since you did,
all your cards are laid on the table.
573
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,920
Any attempt at bluffing's meaningless.
574
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,040
-Get the fuck out of here!
-[Ian] Come on, Metal Micky.
575
00:37:58,120 --> 00:37:59,840
[cheering]
576
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,680
-[baby cries]
-[Frank] The wonder of nature, Bunty.
577
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,360
A joy to be around. A gift.
578
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:16,200
Yeah.
579
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,400
It's a shame
you never had any of your own.
580
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,440
You can't put a price
on spending time with your kids.
581
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,000
But if you had to,
how does 50 pence an hour sound?
582
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,200
The RSPCA might not be prepared
to give you a second chance, Bunty,
583
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,280
-but I will.
-Deal.
584
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:33,480
-Great.
-[baby cries]
585
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:34,800
See you later.
586
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,000
[sighs heavily]
587
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,560
If I can give him a second chance,
you should be able too, all right?
588
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:45,040
[Karen] You can't go through with this.
You've gotta call the engagement off.
589
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:49,000
I'm trying to tell you something,
and I don't know how to tell you it.
590
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,480
Would this be the same thing
you've been saying since I met him?
591
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:52,880
[Karen] No!
592
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,120
Although, I do think he's a cunt.
593
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:56,920
And I wish you'd never laid eyes on him.
594
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,640
Have you any idea
what it's like trying to move on,
595
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:02,600
knowing that not even everyone you know,
but everyone you care about,
596
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:03,720
thinks you're a knob
597
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,680
because of something
they know fuck-all about?
598
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:09,640
Any fucking idea
how insulting to my intelligence that is?
599
00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:10,720
He fucked me!
600
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,000
I'm pregnant.
601
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:30,600
Karen...
602
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:33,480
you need help.
603
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,360
I think you might need to see someone.
604
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,480
You're retreating
into your own little fantasy world
605
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,400
to compensate for your problems.
606
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:44,440
Problems?
607
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,000
Losing the baby.
608
00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:49,600
And I know you're not happy.
609
00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:53,920
Joe's told me about what happened...
610
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,200
when you...
You coming on to him at the football.
611
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,200
[sighs]
612
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:01,800
I'm not angry.
613
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:05,800
He's not angry.
614
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:07,360
What the fuck are you talking about?
615
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,440
Karen, it's not an admission of defeat
to take some help.
616
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,000
D'you know what?
617
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,600
Just get the fuck away from me!
618
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:24,000
I was trying to help you. Just do one!
619
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,040
[knock at door]
620
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,040
Sorry. Mandy, phone for you.
621
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:32,880
[dramatic music]
622
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,320
You're not gonna believe this.
623
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,680
A woman's just called to say
she's found a wallet with 300 quid in it,
624
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:43,840
no ID, just a raffle ticket for a raffle
at The Jockey pub, Chatsworth.
625
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,280
Says would you be able to return it
to the rightful owner,
626
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,240
or should she take it
to the police station.
627
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:49,560
-No.
-[Mandy] Serious!
628
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,200
-That could be someone's wages.
-[laughter]
629
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,280
-Wages?
-Wages? That's a killer!
630
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,440
[Ian scoffs] Okay. Attention, everyone!
631
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,480
It's probably not worth asking,
632
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:04,120
but has anyone lost a wallet
with 300 quid--
633
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,920
[all shouting indistinctly]
634
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:12,840
...three hundred quid and a raffle ticket.
635
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:14,640
There is no wallet. He's winding you up.
636
00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:18,040
Seriously, no, I was...
I was just sat there, thinking:
637
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,720
"I'll just get myself another pint."
638
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,000
Then I put my hand in my pocket,
639
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,280
and I thought:
"That's funny, where's my wallet?"
640
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,960
-I'm just--
-As if you'd buy a raffle ticket.
641
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:28,680
[sighs heavily]
642
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,720
How dare you!
643
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,240
-[giggling]
-Nice little engagement gift, that.
644
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:38,240
Just get back here with the dough, rapid.
645
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,120
Can't be dealing with this engagement do
and the family on me own.
646
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,360
-Thanks, mate [kiss].
-Hey. See you later.
647
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:57,440
[tapping]
648
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:04,320
[slurred] And so, in the time-honoured
tradition of the fairy tale, it begins,
649
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:09,960
"Once upon a time"
and ends "Happily ever after."
650
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:15,320
But just like old Lenny Crabsticks sang
in that song
651
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,920
sometimes it ain't over till it's over.
652
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,720
Hello. I'm Mandy Maguire.
653
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,400
We spoke on the phone earlier.
About the wallet.
654
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,440
[Jamie] And the winning ticket is...
655
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,160
number 76!
656
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:44,080
-[indistinct chatter]
-Yeah, baby!
657
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,600
[Frank chuckles]
658
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,200
Get on! Yeah! [cheering]
659
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:04,760
Hello, sweetheart.
How are you? You all right?
660
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,000
Mimi.
661
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,760
That problem.
I want you to know I've fixed it.
662
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,680
Maureen?
663
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,720
That psycho bitch was outside my house
at five o'clock this morning.
664
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,040
Threatening to kill herself.
665
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,600
Screaming all over the estate,
looking for you.
666
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:25,120
You haven't sorted anything.
You've just made things worse.
667
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,920
Now you really will have to sort it.
668
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,120
Joe's car's outside. They're here.
669
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,240
[guests] Shh!
670
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:42,400
[all cheer]
671
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:44,800
Oh, shit, she's not with me.
She won't be long.
672
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,520
[Maureen sighs]
673
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,240
I'm, um...
674
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,400
a friend of your father's.
675
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:08,480
Are you Maureen?
676
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:15,240
-The one that kidnapped him?
-[Maureen chuckles]
677
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:21,320
I just think it's about time
we put this whole thing to bed.
678
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:22,680
If you'll help me.
679
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,200
I'll just go and see
if the kettle's boiled.
680
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,360
It's not fair that. I took that call.
She could have told me about it.
681
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,920
Three hundred quid.
No way would've told any of you fuckers!
682
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:51,800
-Why did she?
-I dunno.
683
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,880
She specifically asked for Mandy Maguire.
684
00:44:54,720 --> 00:44:57,560
[stammering] I should have just asked,
"What's it regarding?"
685
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,480
[indistinct chatter]
686
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,000
[mobile phone keypad bleeps]
687
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:30,800
Hello?
688
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:32,640
Hello?
689
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,120
[quiet hissing]
690
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:44,560
-[phone rings]
-[coughing]
691
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:54,120
Mandy, when you get this message,
call your da as soon as possible, okay?
692
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,000
Get out the fucking way!
693
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:19,800
[both cough]
694
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,160
[both coughing, grunting]
695
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,720
Mandy! Mandy!
696
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,000
-[coughs]
-[Paddy] Mandy! Are you in there?
697
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,760
Dad! Dad!
698
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,000
[grunts]
699
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,080
Dad!
700
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,360
[Micky] Mandy!
701
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:04,360
[both coughing, grunting]
702
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,320
No!
703
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,120
-[electric buzz]
-[eerie music]
704
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,400
[glass breaking]
705
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,000
[glass breaking]
706
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,880
[Kelly]
And Froggy said, "What an adventure,"
707
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:56,120
as he yawned a big yawn
and snuggled up in his bed
708
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:57,600
to have lovely dreams.
709
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,000
He won't go into the woods
by himself again, now, will he?
710
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,000
That's little Froggy there, isn't it?
He's got his mirror...
711
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:06,440
[sniffs]
712
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,280
-and his backpack.
-D'you know what that is?
713
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,000
That's a duck, in't it?
714
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:14,440
Can you turn the page?
715
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,400
[voice breaking] That's it, you've got it.
716
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,640
Mam and Dad are gonna take
the rest of the ashes back to Ireland.
717
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:31,680
Scatter them in the Shannon.
718
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,000
That's nice, mate.
719
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:35,680
It's really thoughtful.
720
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:37,600
You know I'm here for you.
721
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,000
If you need anything...
722
00:48:55,720 --> 00:49:01,440
[Jamie singing "The Last Rose of Summer"]
♪ This the last rose of summer ♪
723
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:07,320
♪ Left blooming alone ♪
724
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:14,000
♪ All her lovely companions ♪
725
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:20,000
♪ Are faded and gone ♪
726
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:27,320
♪ No flower of her kindred ♪
727
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:35,120
♪ No rosebud is nigh ♪
728
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:45,600
♪ To reflect back her blushes ♪
729
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:52,880
♪ Or to give sigh for sigh ♪
730
00:49:54,520 --> 00:50:01,040
♪ I'll not leave thee, thou lone one! ♪
731
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:07,600
♪ To pine on the stem ♪
732
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:15,160
♪ Since the lovely are sleeping ♪
733
00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:21,320
♪ Go, sleep now with them ♪
734
00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:28,880
♪ Thus kindly I'll scatter ♪
735
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:36,560
♪ Thy leaves o'er the bed ♪
736
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:48,240
♪ Where thy mates of thy garden ♪
737
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:56,000
♪ Lie scentless and dead ♪
738
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,200
[tapping]
739
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,120
[upbeat music]
740
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,920
Yee-hah!
741
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,440
[upbeat music]
742
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:22,840
[laughing]
743
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,640
["I'm Shipping Up To Boston"
by Dropkick Murphys]
744
00:51:25,720 --> 00:51:28,120
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
745
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:03,200
♪ I'm a sailor peg and I've lost my leg ♪
746
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,040
♪ Climbing up the topsails I lost my leg ♪
747
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:22,000
Fuck off.
748
00:52:22,080 --> 00:52:25,000
[song continues]
749
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,880
[Frank] November, 1989.
750
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:34,080
Don't fucking touch me.
751
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:37,400
[Frank] The Stone Roses played Ally Pally.
752
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:42,560
Half of Manchester followed them down
on coaches put on from Piccadilly.
753
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:46,480
Me and Monica took the kids.
They were all there...
754
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:47,440
Fuck off!
755
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,360
[Frank]
in the right place at the right time,
756
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:54,600
buzzing our tits off to the single-most
important band since the Beatles,
757
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:56,520
when, after standing here,
758
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:58,920
some wrong 'un down
the front starts chanting:
759
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:03,040
"Manchester, la, la, la,
Manchester, la, la, la..."
760
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:06,640
And Ian Brown just says to him,
"It ain't where you're from, mate,
761
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:08,760
it's where you're at." Right?
762
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:13,400
[sighs]
That band could have changed the world.
763
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:17,560
It was theirs for the taking.
They had it all.
764
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:20,840
But just like Georgie Best,
20 years earlier:
765
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:26,040
"What could have been, never was",
and it broke our hearts.
766
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:31,800
Manchester...
The world's first industrial ghetto.
767
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,000
It ain't where you're from,
it's where you're at.
768
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,720
[indistinct yelling]
769
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:39,640
[Frank]
So, 20 years on, this is where we're at.
770
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:43,120
Bon Viveurs R Us.
771
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,480
People round here make the most
of the time they've been given,
772
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:51,520
and they know that life is unfair
and all too brief.
773
00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,960
But, yeah, yeah, all right,
774
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,920
some of 'em might have had
too many nipples and not enough teeth,
775
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,120
but when all's said and done,
they're smart enough to understand
776
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:06,400
that one of the most vital necessities
in life, and death, for that matter,
777
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:10,320
is they know how to throw a party!
778
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:13,440
Gallagher!
779
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:16,000
Scatter!
780
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:09,400
-Yeah?
-My name is Miss Twill.
781
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,840
I'm a foster-care assessor.
I have an appointment.
782
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,000
Yeah, they don't live here anymore,
they're next door.
783
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,840
I have an interview
with Mr Francis Gallagher.
784
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:21,080
He's registered his interest
in becoming a foster parent.
785
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:23,400
[grunting]
59608
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